Proverbs 31 Devotionals

• Oct. 3, 2008 - Without Love

Without Love

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” II Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV)

I thought it was interesting to note that in the Greek, “without love” actually means to be without family love. We have sure seen an increase in this over the last few years. I remember the horror of hearing how Susan Smith killed her two young sons by leaving them in the car, then letting the car roll into the water. Yet, there have been countless other stories in recent years of other parents killing their own children.

There was also the highly profiled story of the Menendez brothers killing their parents. Yet, they weren’t the only ones who have done such an atrocious act. There have been countless others over the last few years. Doesn’t it sound like these families are “without family love”?

How does this scripture apply to the lives of Christian families? Half of all marriages end in divorce, even in the church. I know of a personal example of a ‘Christian’ man who decided to leave his wife and children so that he could live with his same-sex partner. I know personal examples of ‘Christian’ men who beat their wives. These are hard-core cases of families who are “without family love.”

I have a friend who used to work in a battered women’s shelter. She told me that the top three abusers are policemen, military men, and pastors. I have heard so many stories of youth pastors sexually abusing teenaged girls. That brings such pain, not to mention shame, to their families when it is exposed. It also causes a lifetime of pain for the young ladies who have been violated by a man whom they should have been able to trust.

What about families who are too busy in outside activities to ever sit down to a meal together? What happened to family nights, where families would play games and enjoy each other’s company? Could it be that we have traded family love for outside activities?

There are many families who leave the spiritual training of the children to a Sunday school teacher. That is contrary to scripture. Deuteronomy 6 makes it very clear that spiritual training is the job of the parents. In Proverbs, there are many verses that mention listening to your father and not forsaking the teaching of your mother. Again, it is clear that spiritual training is up to us, as parents, and not someone else. When we fail to be diligent to train our children in biblical principles, doesn’t that also show a lack of family love?

We are all very busy, but we must constantly guard against becoming so inundated with activities that we fail to properly teach and train our children. We must be militant in keeping the family love alive, in both our marriages and in our parenting.

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• Oct. 2, 2008 - I'm Done!

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I'm Done!

As mothers, don't you sometimes wish that you could say, "I'm done!" It seems that a mother's work is never done! Even when we are sleeping, we are still on-call for the one who may wake up ill during the night. We get the house cleaned, only to find that by the end of the day, the kids have trashed it once again!

We can find ourselves falling into the mode of being 'task-oriented,' rather than 'people-oriented.' We can become easily irritated by any interruptions. We seem to forget that some things which happen are God-ordained; we view it as another interruption to our already busy schedule.

In John 17:4, we find that Jesus is talking with the Father, saying that He has completed the work which God gave Him to do. I wonder how we might view each day, if we are careful to only do the things which Father really wants us to do. If He wants us to be diligently instructing our children in righteousness, will we be able to relax and let the housework go for a day? Would that cause excessive stress to our flesh because we have to view the messy house? Would we be able to set aside our plan to go to garage sales because someone is in need of a meal? Would we be able to put aside the plan we had made to do something refreshing in order to go visit someone who is in dire need of some company? Can we set aside our holiday tasks to play a game with the children, or read them a book?

In Matt. 8:1, we find Jesus coming down from the mountainside, after having taught the people for many hours. He was probably hoping for some time of refreshing and relaxation. What did He find? He found that the crowds followed Him. Moms, do you ever find that your 'crowds' have followed you? Most of us can't even go to the bathroom by ourselves! We can certainly understand the frustration that a person would feel when they can't get away for that time of aloneness, that time to refresh oneself. But Jesus didn't respond out of frustration to them. He continued to minister to them, putting His own fleshly wants aside. What a contrast between how the Master responded and how I often respond to those 'interruptions.' It's quite convicting, to say the least.

In verses 14-16, we find that Jesus was visiting Peter's house. When we go to visit someone, it's often to relax and fellowship. Yet, we see that Jesus is immediately called upon because Peter's mother-in-law was sick. Not only that, while He was there, MANY were brought to Him. So much for relaxing and fellowshipping.....

As we move on to Matt. 8:23-25, we find that Jesus is trying to sleep, and now it's the disciples who are 'interrupting' Him. Have you ever had those days when you finally get to climb into bed, hoping that you can find a peaceful night's rest, only to find that just as you fall into a deep sleep, you hear these words, "Mom, I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" Once again, a peaceful night's rest seems to be out of the question.

Moving on to Mt. 9:1-2, Jesus crosses over in a boat to visit His home town. Again, they bring people to Him. Those of us who have loved ones who live out of town know how precious those family times are. Yet, Jesus didn't often have those times with His family because the crowds were always looking to find Him.

In verse 27, He is still being followed. In verse 36, we find that as He sees the crowds, He has compassion on them. When we are followed by our 'crowds,' do we respond in the same manner? In my own life, I find myself falling short so many times when MY schedule is interrupted. When I remember to view the 'interruption' as a God-given intervention, my attitude is quite different.

In Mk. 1:35-37 Jesus went off to pray. Simon and the others came looking for Him, declaring that 'everyone' was looking for Him. We all have days where we feel like 'everyone' is looking for us. The kids need us, hubby needs us, the phone won't quit ringing because others needs us, the neighbor rings the bell, in search of us. The list can be endless. How do we respond? Jesus responded by saying, "Let us go...That is why I have come." Can we say, as Jesus did, that we have come to do the Father's will? Can we say, "Not my will, but yours be done?"

Lord, help us to face each day, conscious of Your intervention in our lives. Help us to view interruptions as an ordained task, given by You. Help us to remember that as we serve others, we are really serving You. Help us to be able at the end of each day to say, "Father, I have completed the task that You gave me to do." Amen.

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• Oct. 2, 2008 - Job Training

Posted in Home Life

Job Training

Years ago when I was hired by the phone company as a service representative, I went through the company’s intense nine week training program. The course was so difficult that at least thirty percent of those who start it would never complete it. If they had put me at a desk without proper training, I wouldn’t have known how to answer any of the questions asked of me. I also wouldn’t have been able to assist those who wanted an extension on paying their bill, nor could I assist those who needed to set up new phone service or a transfer of service to a new residence. Only as I was diligent to get that training deeply imbedded, was I able to assist and instruct my customers.

As Christians, we are supposed to let the Word have its home in our hearts and minds. The Word of God is to dwell in us richly. Only as we get the Word deep inside us are we able to fulfill the commands to admonish, teach, train, and encourage on another. (I Thessalonians 5:11; Colossians 3:16)

On my job, I needed to be thoroughly equipped to handle the myriad of requests that customers had over the course of a day. Every day finds us facing new challenges and new requests of people. We need to be confident that we have taken the time for correct training so that we handle these situations correctly. God’s Word is our training manual – useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that we are thoroughly equipped.

As wives, mothers, and Christian women, we are constantly being called on for help. It may be in dealing with a discipline issue, or it might be in how to help a sister whose husband has been unfaithful. It may be in how to help our husband during a stressful time at work. We must daily set priorities for the things on our to-do list. If we haven’t been getting proper ‘job training’ from the Word, we will easily be led astray by our emotions, rather than responding the way God desires. Our priorities will be out of kilter, and our flesh will rule our day, rather than our spirit.

Do you need more job training?

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• Oct. 2, 2008 - Do You Have a Moment?

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Do You Have a Moment?

You feel stressed. You know that you need to spend some time with the Lord. Finally, you get a break. You just get settled down and open your Bible, then you hear, "Mom can I .........?" Ok, you get that taken care of, and back to your Bible, then you hear cereal spilled all over the floor by the child who can't clean up their own mess. You jump up to clean it before it gets crushed all over the floor. You tell the kids to please leave you alone for just a few minutes. Well, a few minutes to you is an eternity to them. You start to read again, and you hear the famous words, "Wipe me!" :-)

By this time, you are totally frustrated. You have decided that you aren't going to get your time with the Lord. Your spirit cries out, "Lord, I just don't have an hour of time to spend with you anymore like I used to, and I really miss your presence, and the times where we talk."

Suddenly, you hear the Master's voice, and He gently says, "No, you don't have the time to spend an hour, but you do have just a moment. Want to talk?"

As you go about your daily chores and tasks, remember when you are cleaning the toilet, or changing a diaper, or taking out the trash, you do have a moment while doing those tasks. Use it to talk to the Lord. Train your mind to fix your thoughts on Him. Heb. 5:14 says that solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Learn to listen and anticipate God's voice, reminding you that you do have a moment to spend with Him throughout the day. As you fix peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, thank the Lord that He is your bread of life, and that He daily gives you living bread. As you bake cookies, thank Him that as He works His purpose in your life, your disposition will be sweet to behold.

Col. 3:1-2 "If then you have been raised with Christ to a new life, aim at and seek the rich, eternal treasures that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. And set your minds and keep them set

on what is above, not on the things that are on the earth. (Amp. Bible)

To help you keep your mind set on things above, place scripture cards around the house, in strategic locations (by the rocker where you nurse the baby, on the bathroom mirror, at the kitchen sink, on the dash in your car, etc.) As you focus on these scriptures, and remember to talk to the Lord during those "moments" during the day, you will find that you are able to cultivate a very close relationship with Him. You will feel Him there with you, helping you, refreshing you. The scriptures will get deep into your spirit as you meditate on them throughout the day. Before you know it, you will have a song in your heart and joy on your face.

A footnote from Titus 2:4-5 in the Full Life Study Bible says that God has a distinct purpose for the woman in relation to family, home, and motherhhood. His desire for a wife and mother is that her attention and devotion be focused on her family. The home, husband, and children must be the center of a Christian mother's world; this is her divinely appointed way of honoring the Word of God. (In other words, we have a really big job to do, and we need His help!)

We all tend to let ourselves run out of "spiritual gas" at times. If a car runs out of gas, it takes longer to fix it than it would have if we would have just taken the time to pull in the gas station. It is the same with our spiritual lives.

I think I hear the Father now, saying, "You have a moment."

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• Oct. 2, 2008 - Housework - The Thankless Job

Posted in Home Life

Housework - the thankless job

We clean and we clean, and nothing ever stays done. We clean and we clean, and no one ever seems to appreciate it. It's easy to cop a bad attitude if you dwell on that fact.

God has placed us in our homes to be homeworkers, and we need to keep our focus in the right direction. Psalm 16:6 says that the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; yes, I have a good heritage. (Amp. Bible) Do you really believe that the lines have fallen in good places for you -- even while you are doing housework -- the job that seems so "thankless"?

Jesus calls us to be faithful in the small things. Luke 16:10 says that he who is faithful in the very little things is faithful in much. Sometimes the small things for us may be cleaning the toilet, wiping a runny nose, filling up a sippy cup, or taking out the trash. You see, those "little things" do matter to God. God entrusts the little things to our care to teach each of us faithfulness in bigger things. He also wants you to see how even those little things can have an eternal effect.

Matt. 25:34-36 says "...for I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me." (NIV)

Think of it this way: When you give your child a bath, you do it for Jesus.

When you scrub the stains that are so often on the clothing of small children, you do it for Jesus. When you sew a button on hubby's shirt, you do it for Jesus. Even speaking a word of encouragement to someone can have an eternal impact.

A word of caution though - Col. 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord, as a reward. It is the Lord you are serving." (NIV) So, what is your motive and your attitude when you do these "little things"? If we grumble and complain, or do it to receive the applause of man, we can't expect a reward.

Let's look at some of the things which Jesus did.

1. He helped to settle arguments between people. (Mk 9:34-35) Any mothers out there who have done that recently? :-)

2. He served a meal to others. (Jn. 6:11)

3. He even cleaned house, so to speak. (Jn. 2:15-16)

4. He washed feet. (Jn. 13:5)

Do you see it? Jesus did the SAME LITTLE THINGS which we are doing, and we get the privilege of doing them on a daily basis!

Get this in your spirit, and remember that when you are cleaning the house, you are doing it for Jesus, and He does care that you are doing it, He does see that you are doing it, and He does appreciate that you are doing it, as long as you do it with a joyful heart, and with the right motive. I had to learn this recently because I was really getting a bad attitude. It has really changed my way of thinking. I have a whole new attitude when I approach housework now, and it is absolutely wonderful!

That's all for this time. I think I'll go scrub a toilet! :-)

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• Oct. 2, 2008 - Pop Goes the Bubble!

Posted in Home Life

Pop Goes the Bubble

I remember when Rachel was only 2. She was in the bathtub, and passed gas. She looked down into the tub, and excitedly exclaimed, "Oh! Bubbles!"

Needless to say, I cracked up. Even now, she is still fascinated with bubbles. She can be in the tub playing, and I will hear her yell, "Mommy, come here! You have got to see this bubble!" Invariably, the bubble which brought her so much joy would be gone before I could make it in there.

There are many things which this world offers us which can seem so appealing and so pretty, but just like the bubble, in an instant, the "beauty" of it all is gone. Let's take a look at some scenarios.

The job that offers such prestige - prestige, which could fade at any given moment. The job market doesn't seem to be too stable these days. Pop! There went the "bubble." (That same job could require you to be away from your dear family and miss out on precious time that could never be recaptured.) The O.T. is so clear about how we are to diligently teach our children about spiritual things. How can we do that when we are gone so much of the time? When we are finally able to be with them, who would have the energy or the patience to be instructing them in righteousness?

Please don't misunderstand, I am not knocking women who MUST work outside the home, but oftentimes, working outside the home is because we MUST have this new house, this bigger house, this fancy car, the fancy clothes for us and for our children.......It becomes a matter of working, not to provide for the family, but to get THINGS to satisfy us. Oops, did the "bubble" just pop again?

The lure of the mall. We get bored so we go shopping. We get frustrated, so we go shopping. We get happy, so we go shopping..... You get the picture. The mall is a lure to many women. While we are there, we tend to buy impusively. Later, when we get home, and have to explain the charges on the credit card, or why we don't any longer have the money to buy the groceries, the temporary "high" which we get from shopping so quickly fades.

The lure of activities for our children. I see so many families, who get their children involved in so many activities. So many, in fact, that they hardly ever get to spend much time together. They miss out on the precious family meal times, or the chance to just spend an evening playing games. Too often, it ends up being a time where everyone is rushed, Mom is yelling, the kids are arguing......and the list goes on. Once again, the "bubble" pops, and the glitter of this activity fades away.

There are even some things which are good, noble causes. BUT, if God has not given us the OK to be involved in these activities, the "bubble" will pop again. For instance, maybe you want to be involved in Women's ministries at your church. But being involved there can put another demand on your plate, which is already full, just trying to take care of the family, the house, the laundry, the grocery shopping. You may be maxed out with just the everyday tasks that HAVE to be done. Being involved in women's ministries may make you feel like you are being a better Christian, or that you are doing your good deed by being there, but it could also be the thing that leaves you frazzled because maybe this just isn't the "season" for you to be heavily involved in anything besides your own family.

Let me explain a little further on these things. The Bible says that there is a season for everything. I can give you a personal example regarding the women's ministry. (I used that illustration because it fit my situation.) Our women's group would meet on Tuesday mornings. I wanted to be there and be part of the group, but I homeschool, so which is my priority? Yes, I could rearrange the homeschool day so that I could teach later, but for me, my better hours of the day are in the morning. If I didn't get school done in the morning, chances were very high that it wouldn't get done at all. The teaching and training of my child on Biblical principles and academics was higher on the priority list than attending the women's Bible study. (A side note on this - now the women's group is meeting on Wed. nights. Since we are there every Wed. anyway, this has turned out to be a real blessing to me.)

I Cor. 3:11-13 says "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work." (NIV)

II Tim. 2:20-21 says, "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also utensils of wood and earthenware, and some for honorable and noble use and some for menial and ignoble use. So whoever cleanses himself from what is ignoble and unclean, who separates himself from contact with contaminating and corrupting influences will then himself be a vessel set apart and useful for honorable and noble purposes, consecrated and profitable to the Master, fit and ready for any good work." (Amp. Bible)

Father, may you help us to see clearly the purpose you have for us at this time. Yes, it may change down the road, but help us now to see it, to embrace it, and to welcome it. Help us to be content in the ministry where you have placed us, and to find joy in the journey. Help us to focus our energies on the things which would bring honor to Your Name, and to pull ourselves away from those contaminating, luring things which this old world would love to offer us. Help us to find that life abundantly - the life which is in You, alone. Amen.

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• Oct. 1, 2008 - Building a House

Posted in Home Life

Building a House

If you have ever observed a house being built from the very foundation, you know that there is a LOT of hard labor involved. It's no less laborious for women to build their spiritual house either. It may be a different kind of labor, but it still requires much work.

Prov. 9:1-2 tells us that wisdom has built her house. Then in verse 12 it goes on to say that your wisdom will reward you. It is going to require Father's help for us to build our house on His wisdom. Prov. 14:1 says that the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down. Verse 3 goes on to say that the lips of the wise (their speech) protect them. What we say, and the atmosphere that we set in our home can make it a very inviting place, providing that WE have made the WISE CHOICE to make it that way. In Prov. 10:21 it tells us that the lips of the righteous (their speech) nourish many. We have an opportunity to nourish many, IF we choose to build our house on a godly foundation. Not only that, but the house of the righteous stands firm and is a secure fortress for her children. (Prov. 12:7, 14:26). So, when the storms of life hit our family members, home can be a refuge - a safe place for them. They know that they can come home at the end of a hard day, to be nourished by the kind, thoughtful, loving words which we will speak to them.

I thought it was interesting to see in Proverbs 22:11 that he who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the KING for a friend. You have probably heard men say the phrase "I am the king of my castle." I don't know about you, but I know that I want the king of this castle (my husband) to be my friend! I want him to desire my company over all others, next to the Lord, of course.

Let's see how the foolish woman can tear down her house:

Prov. 19:13, 27:15 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. No one wants to hear constant whining and nagging. If we set that atmosphere, not only will our husbands not want to be there, but we are setting a horrible example to our children. So many times, children end up being a carbon copy of their parents. God help us not to set up THAT kind of example!

Prov. 21:9,19 tell us that it's better to live on a corner of a roof, or in the desert than to live with a quarrelsome wife. Think about that - the corner of a roof does not sound like a very inviting place to me! Nor does the desert - it is a hot, dry, dusty, lonely place, filled with serpents and scorpions, yet God's Word says that living there is better than living with a quarrelsome wife.

Prov. 24:3-4 tells us that by wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established. It's through knowledge that its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Prov. 15:6 tells us that the house of the righteous contains great treasure. One of the treasures of a house built in this way is a woman who is of noble character, whose worth is FAR MORE than rubies. (Prov. 31:10) Rubies, because of their rarity, have a higher value than even diamonds.

Another way we can bring rare and beautiful treasures to our house is to "wage war." Sometimes we need to war against our flesh, crucifying that fleshly desire to always want things our way, or to crucify a nasty attitude that has been trying to lay hold of us. Another kind of "war" we need to wage is spiritual warfare on behalf of our family members. I remember when my husband was out of town for a few days. One night I was in bed, trying to go to sleep. I had such a wrestling in my spirit for him. I began to intercede for a long time, asking God to keep him safe. Finally, I felt a release in my spirit and was able to go to sleep. The next day, he fell twelve feet and landed on his back. He could have been seriously injured, if not killed, but I believe that my intercession on his behalf put the plans of the enemy to flight. Because of my intercession, I may have saved myself from being a widow with a newborn, as I delivered my daughter two weeks later.

Another treasure in building our house is that we can watch over the affairs of our household. (Prov. 31:27) When a house is being built, there is always an overseer, making sure that the job is done right. In building our homes, we need to be a watchful overseer of the home, not to be confused with being the "head" of the home. Verse 11-12 of this chapter tells us that this lady's husband had full confidence in her. Why? She brought him good all the days of her life. She had proven her faithfulness and devotion to him and to their household.

Titus 2:5 tells us that women are to be busy at home. Sometimes this is hard for us to learn because many of us haven't been taught how to do this. In that case, it's a good idea to find a godly woman who would be willing to be a mentor to you, teaching you how to put this into practice. Pray for God to lead you to a wise woman because he who walks with the wise becomes wise. (Prov. 13:20)

What will be the results of building our house the way that God intends? You will be blessed because God blesses the home of the righteous. (Prov. 3:33) Your children may just arise and call you blessed. (Prov. 31:28) Your husband may also sing your praises. (Prov. 31:28) Verse 29 goes on to say that her husband told her that many women do noble things, but she surpasses them all! Wow! What a compliment!

As I stated at the beginning, "Wisdom has built her house." When you build your house with godly wisdom and insight, you may just find that the promise of Prov. 24:14 comes alive to you. "Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." (NIV)

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• Oct. 1, 2008 - Home Work

Posted in Home Life

Home Work

Some of you may ask why I bring up this subject when school is out for summer break. I'm not referring to school work, but to our work in the home. Titus 2:4-5 gives us an assignment for our home work. It says that we are to love our husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, also to be busy at home, kind, and subject to our husbands so that the no one will malign the Word of God.

I am going to be sharing a lot from my personal experience in trying to live out the above scripture. It was not an easy transformation, and I still have struggles at times, but it is an assignment that I am willing to continue doing because I have seen the fruits of putting it into action. I hope that some of you are able to learn from my mistakes.

1. We are to be busy at home. (Titus 2:5) As a new mom, who was used to working full time, this was really hard for me. I craved time with adults. Often, if I wasn't leaving to go visit a friend, I was at least spending a large amount of time on the phone talking to friends. While it's not bad to converse with friends, many times I found that the conversations were going in a direction that wasn't good. Yes, I admit it, we were gossiping. (I really don't like that word!)

I was feeling isolated, trying to stay at home. Part of the reason I was isolated was because I was out of God's will. The Bible tells us that we are to be busy at home, not to be busybodies! The isolation was because I wasn't obeying what God said. As I began to read Proverbs and several books about women's issues, it was becoming so clear to me that I was out of God's will in several areas. To try and stay home more was going to take a lot of work! I began to ask the Lord to help me learn to be content at home (in all circumstances). Phil. 4:11

2. We are to love our husbands and our children. (Titus 2:4) To do this, you can't be running on empty all the time. I found that I was leaving home to go shopping or going to garage sales on a frequent basis. There's nothing wrong with doing these things, but if they become our focus, we get ourselves into trouble. I found that on the days when I did so much running around, Rachel and I were both cranky. We were both tired and I was very stressed. I have found that running errands or going shopping are big users of my energy! When evening came, I didn't feel motivated to fix a big meal, nor did I feel like being too kind to my husband. I wanted him to come in and take care of Rachel so that I could have a break! It sure wasn't a good way to show love to him or Rachel. I'm sure that it often left him feeling like he was being taken for granted. As I continued to pray for God to help me learn to be content to stay at home, I quickly saw that on the days when we did stay home, the atmosphere was MUCH more peaceful for all of us. My stress level greatly decreased. It quickly became my heart's desire to be home as much as I could.

3. Be self-controlled. (Titus 2:5) If we aren't self-controlled, then our home work is going to haphazard at best. I saw in Prov. 1 that the Proverbs were written for attaining wisdom and discipline, for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right. I want to focus on the word "prudent." It refers to one who is exercising sound judgment in practical matters, who is cautious in conduct, and manages carefully.

I had begun to spend more time at home, but was feeling no real sense of purpose, beyond changing diapers, being a built in milk factory, and personal laundry attendant. As I pondered on the word "prudent," I came up with the idea of checking out the prices at several grocery stores. I found out that I had been shopping at the most expensive store in town. To use "sound judgment in practical matters," I began to revise how I did my grocery shopping. I was very quickly able to save us at least $20 to $60 a week. I found a real sense of purpose in what I was doing. I saw that I was putting some principles from Prov. 31 into practice by doing my husband "good, and not harm." I saw that my "trading" was profitable because it was stretching the money which my husband was earning. I had a new sense of purpose and a joy in my heart because I knew that I was starting to live out more of the principles found in the Word.

4. We are to be kind and pure. (Titus 2:5) I found that part of putting this into practice was by being cautious in friendship. (Prov. 12) Going again to the word prudent, we are to be cautious in our conduct. I knew some people who were constant gossips, one of whom was constantly talking about her husband in a bad way. It wasn't like she talked about him to get me to keep him in prayer, but she just felt the need to give him a tongue-lashing, even when he wasn't present. I was striving to be kind and pure in my walk with the Lord, so I quickly began to find different friends. I didn't need a "friendship" that was going to suck the spiritual life out of me in just a matter of minutes.

Another way of being cautious in friendship is just by being mindful of how much time you spend with your friends. You don't want to cause your friend problems in her own family by the amount of time which she is spending with you. I still visit my friends, mainly because it gives my only child a chance to play with other children. Even then, we don't do it more than once every 7-10 days. The Lord has helped me to achieve a good balance there. I also picked friendships that were like "iron sharpening iron," mentioned in Prov. 27:17

5. We are to be subject to our husbands. (Titus 2:5) Part of being subject to our husbands is learning to do what pleases them. I don't know of any man who desires to come home to a house that is dirty or cluttered. Going back to being prudent, one who manages her home carefully is going to be one who manages to stay home to see that the work gets done. Every day there needs to be a time set aside for tidying up the house before our husbands get home. We also need to be mindful of how hard they work to make an income. That requires sacrifice on our part at times -- like staying away from the malls. They are often a deceptive tactic of the enemy to cause us to be filled with discontentment.

6. We are to teach what is good. (Titus 2:3) We are to be diligently teaching and training our children. We are to be instructing them in righteousness. I found that as I learned to stay at home more, I had much more energy, not to mention more time, to teach Rachel about the Lord. We still often talk about God while we are running errands, but we are also spending a lot more time reading devotions together. At bedtime, we are getting into the habit of reading the Word before we go to sleep.

Proverbs 19:16 tells us that she who obeys instruction guards her life. The instruction for me, as a stay at home wife and mother was becoming much clearer. (Although I haven't really even touched the surface of it in this message.) As I began to put this into daily practice, I found a new joy and contentment in my heart. Granted, we aren't at home all the time, but our days of errand running are down to only one or two days a week now, instead of three to four days. I have much more energy for the tasks that are before me.

Yes, ladies, we have much home work to do, and if we allow God to teach us how to do it His way, we will find that godliness with contentment is GREAT gain. (I Tim. 6:6) This kind of home work may not earn us a diploma, but it may earn us these words: "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of the Lord."

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• Oct. 1, 2008 - Are You a Keeper?

Posted in Home Life

Are you a Keeper?

In Titus 2:5, the KJV says that women are to be "keepers" at home. In the original text, it was referring to guarding the home. When I think of guarding, I am picturing our troops, being on guard against the enemy. While there is a time and place for using guards in a war, we must remember that we are in a spiritual war. II Cor. 10:3 tells us that we don't war after the flesh, but our war is a spiritual one. It is a struggle against principalities and powers, rulers of darkness, and spiritual wickedness in high places.

Satan has a plan, and his plan involves destroying the family in any way he possibly can. That is why it is critical for us to learn to be "keepers" at home. This means that we are the one who watches over the affairs at home. It means we are 'careful' in our job, yet we are also 'cared for' by our Lord.

As you can see, this is a very high and holy calling for us. In the midst of poopy diapers, runny noses, or tending to a child who has the stomach flu, this is a very hard thing to remember. If we do it to the least of these, we've done it unto Christ. If we do it willingly and lovingly, then we are storing up treasures where moth and rust won't corrupt. (Mt. 6:19)

Many times we can find ourselves distracted from our duties as a guard and keeper. We may feel the pull of the phone, feeling that we must have some adult conversation. While there is nothing wrong with talking with friends from time to time, if we find ourselves consistently on the phone and never taking the time to play with the children, then we have ceased to be a keeper at home.

If we are constantly on the Internet, letting the TV babysit the children, then we are slacking in our duties as guards and keepers at home. By our actions, we are showing that while our body may be physically present in the home, our heart isn't there.

A true keeper at home will diligently be on the lookout for disrespect, wrong responses from her children, unjoyful or ungrateful attitudes. We need to be looking for times to teach spiritual things to our children just by observing things in everyday life. We also need to be careful managers of our time, making sure that we are taking the time to do devotions, not just rushing through them so that "we've done our duty," but to take the time to discuss what we are reading.

We must be a careful guard over what things we allow our children to read or watch on TV. Many of those things will teach them values that are contrary to what we want taught in our home.

We need to guard their friendships as well. While we may not be directly in the room with them when they have friends over, we can still listen to the conversation and observe the attitudes from a distance. If you view something which is objectionable, you may discuss this later with the children. I have had many discussions with Rachel about the behavior of some of the neighborhood kids. I began to pray for the Lord to help Rachel make wise choices in her friendships. She rarely seeks the company of these kids now.

Here are some phrases that would go along with being a keeper: Care for, maintain, administer, manage, minister to, run, direct, abide, preserve, settle. We need to settle our minds, our bodies, and our spirits into lining up with God's holy calling for us - the calling to be guards and keepers over the most precious of possessions: our children.

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• Oct. 1, 2008 - Woman, Shut Up!

Posted in Home Life

Woman, Shut Up!

Have you ever heard a conversation where someone brings up I Corinthians 14:34, where it says that women should be silent in the church? Some people erroneously think that this scripture means that God won't use a woman, and they are prone to say, "Woman, shut up! You're to be silent in the church!" Back when that scripture was written, the custom was for women to be on one side of the church, and men to be on the other side. When a woman didn't understand something, she would yell over to her husband, asking him what the preacher meant. It was disruptive to the service, so that is why Paul is addressing this issue.

For those who may feel that God can't use women like He can men, they need to look at some examples in scripture of God using women in high places. Deborah was a prophetess and a judge. Esther saved a nation from extinction. Abigail kept King David from committing murder out of his anger and rage toward Nabal. Her wisdom landed her the high position of becoming the king's wife. Because of her dedication to her grief-stricken mother-in-law, Ruth ended up being in the lineage of the Messiah. Anna got to see the Messiah before she died. Elizabeth gave birth to the forerunner of the Messiah. Mary gave birth to the Messiah.

God obviously will use women, but in I Tim. 3:1-4, the requirements for a man to be an overseer (deacon) in the church state that he must be able to teach. Unfortunately, we don't see too many men teaching in churches today. Almost every children's Sunday school class is run by women. (I am thankful for the two men who taught my daughter the last two years during Sunday school. They are rare gems, and truly a blessing to our congregation.) Many children who attend church don't even have a Father-figure in their lives, so men are highly-needed in children's ministry. Even many of the adult Bible hour classes are taught by women. We usually have a couple of men willing to step up and teach, but it's rare for any of them to be a deacon -- yet, we see clearly that deacons are required to be teachers.

When we look at Titus 2, we see where the older women were commanded to teach the younger women to love their husband and their children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their own husband. This teaching could take place in a church setting, but also in a home setting. Sometimes mentoring a young mother requires that you do it in a home so that you can show your ‘mentoree’ how to be busy at home.

As we teach a young woman to be busy at home, we teach her to be busy with right priorities, thus, teaching her that she won't have time to be a gossip or a busybody, slandering others. When we keep our priorities in order, we are less prone to become a nag, constantly dripping sarcastic, cutting, hurtful remarks to those closest to us.

When we get out of balance with our priorities, our mouths tend to get out of balance, as well. This may lead to our husband yelling, "Woman, would you shut up?" We be much better off if only we’d listen to the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit, telling us "Woman, hush up before your mouth gets you into trouble." He can help us to stop before our mouths get us into trouble.

What is the Holy Spirit speaking to you? Do you need to shut up?

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• Oct. 1, 2008 - False Profit

Posted in Home Life

False Profit

Coveting is something that started back in the Garden of Eden. Eve saw that the fruit looked delicious, and she just had to have it – never mind the consequences, or the fact that God told her not to eat it. She thought she would profit from it, but what she gained was ‘false profit.’

King Saul became greedy when God told him to completely destroy the Amalekites and everything belonging to them. Saul decided to keep King Agag, as well as the very best of the animals. Saul’s false profit caused God to reject him as king. Later, we see where Saul’s false profit even opened him up to an evil spirit.

Nabal was also given to false profit. When King David’s servants went to Nabal, asking for some food, Nabal became very arrogant and selfish, thinking that it would profit him more to hold onto what he had, rather than sharing it. The very next day when Abigail told him how she and servants had helped David, Nabal’s heart failed him, and he died ten days later. Nabal was certainly a fool, just as his name says, and he gave in to false profit.

Judas decided that he wanted some profit, so he betrayed the King of Kings for a measly thirty pieces of silver. His false profit led him to hang himself.

Jesus told us that it doesn’t profit a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his soul. (Mark 8:36) Too often, we fix our eyes on what is seen, rather than the unseen. We lose sight of eternity, forgetting that our lives are nothing more than a vapor that appears for a short time, and then disappearing. (James 4:14) We struggle with setting our affections on the ‘here and now,’ rather than on things above. (Colossians 3:1-2)

We hear stories of men who climb the corporate ladder, not giving much thought to the excessive hours required at the office to succeed in their goal. Their false profit often results in a broken marriage, as well as broken children. After many years of hearing about the women’s liberation movement, we now see many a woman fall into the same trap. She seems to forget, or devalue, the impact that her presence has on her children. False profit can be so costly.

Even a stay-at-home mom can fall prey to false profit, thinking that she must put her children in every activity available. After all, the children do need to be properly socialized! Her false profit keeps her children from having time to play, enjoy life, and just plain ‘be kids.’ When they get socialized at all of these activities, mom doesn’t realize that a lot of that socialization is less than desirable. The children grow up, feeling pressures to constantly be somewhere, constantly be performing, or constantly competing. If they don’t meet Mom’s expectations and her agenda, then they have to deal with a very cranky, irritated Mommy. I wonder how many stress-related ailments these children end up with, all because of Mommy’s false profit.

King David went after false profit when he beheld Bathsheba. It led him down a sinister path when he discovered that Bathsheba was pregnant with his own child. In the end, he had her husband killed while in battle. His false profit resulted in the death of this baby. But, the story doesn’t end there. David was repentant, and out of that broken, repentant heart, he wrote Psalm 51. David discovered that God’s mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22)

It’s the same for us when we’ve chased after false profit. We need to pray for a godly sorrow that truly leads us to repentance. (II Corinthians 7:10) As we humbly repent, God will be faithful to wash us whiter than snow, restoring to us the joy of our salvation.

Are you chasing after any false profits?

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• Oct. 1, 2008 - Home Court Advantage

Posted in Home Life

Home Court Advantage

I enjoy watching the Pacers play. It’s always more fun to watch when they have the home court advantage because you get to sense the excitement of the crowd. Most teams will do better on their home court because they know it well and are comfortable there.

Many of us have forgotten about home court advantage because we are too busy running the children off to ballet classes, gymnastics lessons, piano lessons, soccer practice, basketball or football practice, Bible clubs, Cub Scouts or Girl Scouts, or many other activities that are available to kids these days. We also have the adult activities that we participate in, so when added together, it leaves very little time to have the home court advantage. We are so seldom there that we never quite get used to ‘playing the game of life’ together, nor do we have time for ‘practice’ or ‘team meetings.’

The majority of families do not have meal time together in the evening. If they are there, often the TV is allowed to fill that space, keeping us them from talking and connecting as a family. We are to be our children’s cheerleaders, but when we fail to take time to converse with each other, learning of the struggles or the victories, it’s hard to cheer for each other.

We saw early in the 2004-2005 NBA season what can happen when we are taken away from our home court advantage with the infamous ‘basket-brawl’ in Detroit. Some of the players, and at least one of the coaches actually feared for their lives. When we spend too much time away from the home court, our loved ones may wind up in a spiritual ‘basket-brawl.’ The enemy may be devouring them, but we are too busy with our activities to even take notice. Just as there was a lot of trash and alcohol thrown at the Pacers when they were leaving the court, there are many people out there who would love the opportunity to pollute your child’s mind with trash and alcohol.

There are many advantages of being in our own home court:

1. Close relationships will build between the parents and the children.

2. Our lives will be much more relaxed because we won’t be on the run constantly.

3. There is time for fun devotionals times that teach spiritual principles that will stick with the children.

4. When we take lots of time to listen to our children, when they face things like sex, drugs, and alcohol, they will be more receptive to listen to us because we have invested hours in that relationship already.

5. You may find that your children actually WANT to be with you! Instead of seeing their parents griping about running late, needing to hurry off to the next activity, they can see that Mom and Dad actually know how to play games, joke around, and just have a good time.

6. You may also find that you will have much less conflict during those turbulent teen years because you have shown your children that they are important, valued, and deeply loved.

How’s your home court advantage?

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