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Jul. 24, 2008 - Thankful Thursday & God Sees the End

With dd's current health issues, the scripture that keeps going through my head is "In everything, give thanks." (For more info on my dd, please see my Wednesday post.)

1. Thank You, Lord, that what is happening with my dd is no surprise to You.

2. Thank You, Lord, for keeping her in the palm of Your hand.

3. Thank You, Lord, that this will not deter her from the plan You have mapped out for her life.

4. Thank You that we can depend on You to do what is truly best for us.

5. Thank You for the close relationship I have with dd. I do not take that for granted, especially as she gets closer to those teenaged years.

6. Thank You for the opportunity to hs, especially while we are dealing with this illness. What a blessing to know that we can cut back where we need to so that she doesn't get stressed out by a mountain of schoolwork.

7. Thank You for helping me to take my thoughts captive when they want to run amuck with fears of what may be wrong with dd.

8. Thank You for Your faithfulness. Thank You for being with me in other hard times, like my miscarriage. Those times have been training ground to give me the strength I need to make it through this trial with dd.

9. Thank You, Father for my blogging friends, who will pray for us, even though we will likely never meet on this side of heaven. I do not take that lightly, for we are all so busy, and time is so precious. To know that these precious sisters will take of their own time and pray for strangers means the world to me.

Since we are currently going through some scary issues with dd, I decided to use a devotion that talks about trials. I know I'm not the only one out there who could use a little encouragement and insight into our trials.

God Sees the End

When the angel visited Mary in Luke 1:30-33, he told her that she would give birth to a child whom God would give the throne of his father David, and that he would reign forever. Mary saw many amazing things in those early years regarding her son.

When Jesus was born, wise men came to worship him and give him treasures. Matthew 2:1-11

When Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the temple, Mary hears Simeon say "My eyes have seen your salvation which you have prepared for all people." Luke 2:30-31 She treasured this in her heart.

Luke 2:8-19 tells us about the angels who appeared to the shepherds, telling them that a Savior had been born. Mary treasured this in her heart.

When he was only twelve years old, Jesus amazed the people when he spoke at the temple. Again, Mary treasured this in her heart.

In John 2:1-11, Mary witnesses the first miracle which her son performs. The Bible isn't clear about how many more miracles Mary was able to witness, but I would imagine that even if she didn't see them happen, she at least heard about them.

In Matthew 21:8-11, everyone is going to Jerusalem, and here comes Jesus riding into town on a donkey. Not only that, but the people line the roads, shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David!"

Just a few days later, Mary sees her beloved son hanging on a cross. Her chosen son, the son who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, the son who was to be a king, and he is hanging on a cross? How can this be? OH! The emotions that must have been coursing through her. Can you imagine what she must have felt? She must have felt such anger and confusion. Utter despair must have had a tight grip on her innermost being. Surely her mind was screaming, "WHY?"

After all, she was there when the angel proclaimed that he would be a king. She heard the angel say that he'd sit on David's throne and that he would reign forever. Why would God send an angel to tell her these things when it's obvious that he can't be a king - after all, he's hanging on a cross! She must have been asking God why he pulled Jesus from death's grasp when he was only two years old, only to have him die a cruel death on a cross.

We all know the end of Mary's story. We know that only three days later, her precious Son rose victorious over death, hell, and the grave. We know that He is indeed a King.

Just as we know the end of Mary's story, God knows the end of YOUR story. You may be going through a heart wrenching experience. You can't possibly see what good God could make of the situation. You don't understand what He is trying to teach you, or to show you.

There are times that Rachel wants me to explain things to her. Sometimes the things which she asks about are things that are just too complicated for her little mind to understand. At those times, I have to tell her that I can't give her the answer to that right now because she isn't old enough to understand. She has to just trust that I know best for her. God, who is our loving Father, often chooses not to reveal things to us, as well. He sees that some things just don't need to be explained to us. We just have to trust His wisdom in it.

Isaiah 55:8-9 says that God's thoughts are not your thoughts, and His ways are not your ways. His thoughts are higher than your thoughts, and His ways are higher than your ways.

Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plan he has for you - plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Romans 8:28 tells us that ALL things work together for good, to those who love God and are called according to HIS purpose.

Habakkuk 1:5 says that He is going to do something in your days that you wouldn't believe, even if you were told.

God is so much bigger than ANY problems which we face. He will not fail us. He will not forsake us. Be patient and wait on Him. Be still and know that He is God.

© 2003, Stacy R. Miller

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Jul. 21, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Cross Dressing

Posted in Devotions

Monday Meanderings with

journeymomma

My to-do list this week:

Bible Study/Devotions: I just started a new study today called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I plan to study that some more this week, along with the other studies I am doing.

Must Do: Make 2 doctor appointments for dd. One for her yearly check-up and one for her eye exam.

Special Projects:

1. Monday: My parents will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in September, so Mom & I will be going out to start buying things for the big open house we are planning. She is also going to take dd and I out to eat at Chili's as a late birthday present for dd since that is her favorite restaurant.

2. I need to start addressing over 100 envelopes for the invitations to the open house. Might need the to help me on that one.

3. Wednesday -- Eat out!   The gals on my mom's side of the family meet once a month to celebrate whoever has birthdays for that month. We will be eating at a Chinese restaurant. (I also ate at this restaurant nearly once a week for the first 5 months when I was pregnant with dd!) Did I really just admit that on a public blog?

4. I also plan to get to the grocery store and purchase what I need to make a spumoni cake.   Do any of you remember those from Roselyn's Bakery? They are wonderful! If mine turns out well, I will share the recipe on a Tightwad Tuesday post.

Train Them Up: Talk to dd about a couple of issues that I won't go into on a public blog.

Menu Planning: My menu plan is done through the middle of August.

Cross Dressing

When my daughter was only ten years old, we had the unfortunate experience of running into a drunken cross-dresser. I really did not care to have her exposed to this kind of lifestyle at such a young age. To complicate matters even more, I had to explain to her why this man, who attends our church, is dressed like a lady.

After returning home, the Lord revealed to me that all Christians, at one time or another, have been guilty of being cross-dressers. The difference is that our cross-dressing does not affect our clothing, but our spirit.

Christians are commanded to put on garments of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love. (Colossians 3:12-14)

As I read that verse, I began to think of the many times my husband has needed a compassionate, listening ear. Instead, I dressed myself in a garment that said, “I am too busy to listen to you right now.”

How many times have we been in a long line at the grocery store, only to offer the cashier rudeness instead of kindness?

Instead of putting on humility, we choose a prideful garment. Even though we may not be speaking our prideful thoughts audibly, God hears, and He is not pleased. (Proverbs 8:13; First Peter 5:5)

I can think of several times when my daughter has struggled with a new concept in school.  As her teacher, and even more so, as a Christian, I should offer her gentleness. Instead, I put on harshness or a critical spirit.

When we are trying to get out the door, and the rest of the family is poking along, how often are we patient with them? If we are honest, most of us would be embarrassed to admit how often we put on the garment of impatience.

Patience seems to be one of those garments that we would rather not wear. It seems to fit about as comfortably as a tight-fitting girdle. Instead, we opt for impatience, which often shows itself through anger, rudeness, rage, foul language, and very discernable body language.

We are to be dressed in love, yet how do we act when a dirty, smelly person visits our church? Do we put on the garment of love? Or do we turn aside, pretending they are not there?

When we get dressed, we may look through our closet and think, “I do not feel like wearing this outfit today.” I think we also do this with the garment of love. We tend to think that love is a feeling. If we do not feel like wearing it, we will tend to put on bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, rudeness, selfishness, and a critical spirit.

I was really disgusted by the sight of the drunken cross-dresser. However, after allowing the Holy Spirit to show me many occasions where I have guilty of cross-dressing, I am more disgusted with my own behavior.

Father, help me to daily put on the Lord Jesus so that I can cease to be a cross-dresser. Amen. (Romans 13:14)

© 2007, Stacy R. Miller

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Jul. 17, 2008 - Thankful Thursday & Balcony Seating

Posted in Devotions

I am so thankful for the current Bible study I have been doing. I have learned so much from it. It is No Other Gods. Not only did I read the book, but I've been participating in an online discussion of the book. I also started reading Captivating this week, and so much of what is shared in that book fits perfectly with the NOG study. It has been VERY enriching, and helped me to look at Satan's assault on women in a whole new light.

I am very thankful that this week has not been nearly as busy as the previous two weeks were. I have been blessed to be at home all day today, so I haven't had to deal with the very high temps.

I am thankful for the many things I have accomplished at home this week. On Monday, I posted that I needed to back up my computer files. I am almost finished with that. Plus, I just finished writing out tentative science lesson plans for this year.

I am thankful that I can still do the "nail" trick. DD just brought me two nails that are twisted. You are supposed to separate them, then put them back together. I did it in a matter of a few seconds. With my menopausal brain, I wasn't so sure I'd remember!

I am thankful for some quality time spent with dd this afternoon after she returned home from spending the night with a friend. We made Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookies. That will make dh very

when he gets home from work this evening.

I'm also thankful for the quality time I got to spend with dh last night while dd was gone.

Recently, I was deeply hurt by a couple of people. I kept praying for the Lord to help me to choose to forgive, even when my emotions were screaming otherwise. I also prayed for Him to redeem those hurts. He has been so faithful to do so. I was able to write two devotions, each one using one of the hurts as an example, in order to help give insight and encouragement to other women who are facing similar issues. I am so thankful that the Lord has used my pain in order to help others. I share one of those devotions with you today. I pray the Lord speaks to you through it.

Balcony Seating

When our high school girls’ basketball team went to the state finals several years ago, we bought tickets from some fans of the losing team so we could sit closer to the floor for the evening game. When we arrived, someone else was sitting in our seats. We showed them our ticket stubs, proving the seats were ours and they moved to higher seating.

We allow people who are close to us to take a front row seat into our lives. We discuss personal things with them because they have earned that privilege. Occasionally, we will have individuals who expect front row seating in our lives. Yet, we see the need to put up some boundaries and quickly send them to the balcony of our lives.

For instance, I know a lady who feels the need to frequently tell me that I need to have more children. This woman has a proven reputation of being a busybody, so I quickly move her to balcony seating. The Word speaks against the behavior of being a busybody. (Second Thessalonians 3:11) I choose to stay away from her so that her bad company does not have a chance of corrupting my character. (First Corinthians 15:33)

I had a close friend who began to make foolish choices. After investing a lot of my time and energy on her, I saw she was choosing to continue in her foolish choices. After confronting her on the issues, I chose to move her to the balcony, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

If you are trying to watch your words, you may find it necessary to move some people to the balcony in your own life. If we continue to hang out with those who are given to obscene language, foolish talking, and coarse joking, we will have a much harder time breaking that cycle in our own lives. (Proverbs 4:24; Ephesians 5:4)

Perhaps you have a friend who is constantly speaking negatively about her husband. It is so easy fall into the trap of adding your own negative thoughts. Yet, by doing so, you will find it difficult to respect your husband. (Ephesians 5:32) Rather than doing him good, you will likely resort to nagging. (Proverbs 19:13; 21:9, 19) It is time to move this person to the balcony so you can focus on developing the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. (First Peter 3:4)

Because I know several women struggle with setting boundaries, I want to give one more example that may hit very close to home for many of you. Sometimes we need to move extended family members to the balcony. If we have extended family members who cannot respect the way we choose to raise our children, and they continually belittle us in front of our children, perhaps it’s time to move them to higher seating. I recently had to do this with a family member. It has been very hard because I thought I had a very close relationship with this person, and often shared very intimate details of my life with her. However, she made it quite clear several months ago how little she thinks of me. I was devastated by her behavior. I have had to do much praying to be able to handle this situation in a godly fashion, especially knowing that my young daughter is closely watching because she was there when all of this transpired. The result has been that I no longer make the weekly phone calls to her, nor will I visit her. However, when there is a need to inform her of something, such as an upcoming clogging performance for my daughter, I will tell her, but I choose to keep the conversation very short. When there are family get-togethers, I attend, and I will speak to her, but refrain from engaging in any in-depth conversation. I still treat her with respect, yet at the same time, I have moved her to balcony seating.

Do you need to move some people to the balcony in your own life?

© Stacy R. Miller

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Jul. 14, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Our Husband's Burden

Posted in Devotions

Monday Meanderings with

journeymomma

1. Since dh was out of town all last week, I am mainly focusing on trying to stay at home as much as possible to reconnect with him when he is here. A gracious friend is keeping dd overnight on Tuesday so that dh and I can have some "alone" time.

2. Dd and I started doing school last week. We finished up in early April, so we are both ready to get back into a bit of a routine. I am having her work on math and grammar every day so that we can get some things out of the way and take a little of the pressure off for getting everything done at once.

3. I plan to continue working on making out my science lesson plans for this year.

4. I need to try to ~~find~~ make time to save all of my devotions to a cd-rom. It would be best to get this done before we start doing every subject in our school work.

5. I need to make a couple of important phone calls. One is in regard to the GT Express I bought a couple of months ago. Already, the teflon coating is coming off of it. I love our GT Express, but I don't like the cheap way they were made! And believe me, they weren't cheap to buy!

Since my husband was gone all last week, I thought this devotion would be very appropriate to share with you. I pray it gives you some fresh insight into your own husband and his burdens.

Our Husband's Burden

Women who are stay-at-home moms are in a better position to attend Bible studies, watch Christian TV, listen to Christian radio, and spend more time in the Word. This can help us grow immensely in our walk with the Lord.

A problem arises, however, when we start to think we are more spiritual than our husband because we rarely see him in the Word. What we fail to realize is that he can't be in the Word like we can because he is working so hard to provide for the family. We need to realize that he has a tremendous burden on him in doing that! It should move us to intercede on his behalf a lot more than we probably do.

We may not be aware of how he may truly be growing in his walk with the Lord as he carries the burden of meeting all of the monthly financial obligations. There's the mortgage, the car payment, utility bills, food, and insurance, just to name a few. That doesn't even include the extras such as braces or the cost of gymnastics, ballet, soccer, or basketball. God may be using the weight of the financial burden to really develop your husband's dependency upon Himself.

I remember hearing a pastor say that a man's mind is constantly thinking about finances, the bills, and being the sole provider. When he asked the men in the congregation if he was correct in his assessment, the sanctuary erupted with a chorus of ‘Amen.’

God may be teaching your husband to trust Him, while maintaining a peaceful heart when he hears about more job cuts in his company. God may be developing his spirituality in the many situations he faces every day. If he works with the public, he may be learning to extend grace to people in ways that create huge spiritual growth in his life. God may develop him through the ‘school of hard knocks,’ rather than through the resources that you have at your disposal.

I know that when I became a stay-at-home mom, I grew in ways that I never thought possible. Yet, at the same time, when I worked full time as a customer service rep, I also had many opportunities to grow in grace while dealing with very upset customers. When I worked at the hospital, often dealing with families whose loved ones were terminally ill, God used those experiences to help me learn to show mercy and compassion, even while taking care of the paperwork to get their loved one admitted to our unit. So, you see, God can do wonders in developing your husband's spiritual walk, even while he is at work.

Our husbands carry a heavy load, knowing that if they don't provide for their own family, they are worse than an infidel. (I Timothy 5:8) That is a huge load to carry, and if we fail to realize how deeply spiritual it is to meet this obligation, we fail to be that crowning glory to our husband. (Proverbs 12:4) When we bless them, encourage them, and thank them for the wonderful way in which they provide for our family, we speak life to them. (Proverbs 18:21) When we encourage them, as well as pray for them, we also fulfill the words in Galatians 6:2 where it tells us to carry each other's burdens.

Do you need to help ‘carry’ his burden?

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Jul. 10, 2008 - Thankful Thursday & Juicy Fruit

Posted in Devotions

Here's what I am thankful for this week:

-- For the work dh has in Ohio this week,

-- For dd getting the reserve champion award on her 4-H ceramics project,

-- For dd getting a blue ribbon for her 4-H memories scrapbook,

-- For time with my family over the holiday weekend last week,

-- For special times with the Lord this week,

-- For special times with my dd this week, (Her name means lamb.)

-- For a couple of gifts my bff gave me. She gave me a couple of handmade kitchen towels that are crocheted on the ends so you can hang them. She also gave me some of her dh's secret-recipe bbq sauce. I keep asking for the recipe, but her dh's lips are . He is a police officer, so doesn't he have a civic duty to share this recipe?

-- I am also thankful that when I told dd that we were going to start doing a little bit of school work each day, she seemed very happy to do so. And you know that blesses a mama's heart! We are only doing math and grammar at this point, but we may add science next week. We've been done with school since the first part of April, so we are both ready to get back to a routine.

-- I am also thankful that my old computer is still working.

-- I am thankful that when dh returns home, we will be able to have some family time and do something special for dd, who turns 12 on Friday.

Juicy Fruit

I love the times of year when fruit is in season. It is so much tastier. The color is more vivid and appealing. It is so delightful to bite into a luscious, red strawberry. I will literally savor that piece of juicy fruit.

Have you ever met a godly person that just radiated with the glory of God? They are a great example of a person whose fruit is a tree of life. (Proverbs 11:30) Much like the way edible fruit gets our attention with its vivid appearance, these people command our attention with their glorious countenance. They speak wise words which we can savor, much like savoring a piece of tasty watermelon. They bubble over with the joy of the Lord. We find ourselves delighted to be in their presence, partaking of the juicy fruit that resides within them.

We are all to be full of juicy fruit. (Matthew 7:17-18; John 15:8) But how do we cultivate a heart that can bear such desirable, and juicy, fruit?

1. Don't walk in the counsel of the wicked. (Psalm 1:1) A practical way to implement this is to quit reading secular books on marriage and parenting. Instead, find out what God has to say on these subjects.

2. Don't stand in the way of sinners. (Psalm 1:1) As you walk into the break room at work, if they are discussing some inappropriate topics, leave the room.

3. Don't sit in the seat of mockers. (Psalm 1:1) A great example of putting this to work is by refusing to watch the myriad of television shows that mock everything we, as Christians, should hold dear to our heart. Many times, these shows will mock the role of the father. If we want our children to show respect to their father, we must guard their hearts from seeing the father mocked on television. Another way to put this into practice is to quit listening to secular music, which not only mocks our Lord, but flaunts attitudes and values that are contrary to the Bible.

4. Delight in God’s law. (Psalm 1:2) If you have a hard time delighting in reading the Word, ask God to give you a deep hunger for His Word, and ask Him to help you see wonderful things in His law. (Psalm 119:18)

5. Meditate on His Word. (Psalm 1:2) As you read the Word, sometimes you won't need to read very much before you find the Holy Spirit dealing with your heart. Write down the verse, and carry it with you, looking at it several times throughout the day.

6. Remain in Jesus. (John 15:4) Dedicate yourself to seeking Him daily. I choose to spend the early morning hours with the Lord, however, when Rachel was a baby, it was easier to have that quiet time during her naps or right after I put her to bed in the evening. Find what works best for you.

7. Let God’s Word remain in you. (John 15:7) When you face new situations, ask yourself, what would God want me to do? By acknowledging Him, you will often find that the Word you have planted in your heart will guide you quickly in doing the right and honorable thing.

Following these seven steps will cause you to be like a tree planted by the river, yielding fruit in season, and whose leaf doesn't wither. (Psalm 1:3)

Not only will you bear much fruit, but you will bring much glory to your Heavenly Father.

(John 15:8)

© 2006, Stacy R. Miller

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Jul. 6, 2008 - Junk Food (devotion)

Posted in Devotions

Since we are going to the fair this week, where they sell so much junk food, I decided to use this devotion.

Junk Food

As mothers, we have all heard those famous words, “Mom, may I have a snack?” Often times, we won't even have the dishes cleared off the table before the kids wants some kind of snack. If we let them, they would likely live on things like cookies, candy, potato chips, and cupcakes. They seem to love those things which have no nutritional value. I frequently find myself wanting to nibble on these types of things.

In a spiritual sense, we can also nibble on things which have no nutritional, or spiritual, value. It might be romance novels or magazines. Other people may be news channel junkies. Some of us nibble on the Internet more than we should. Others may snack on things like card games, compulsive shopping, listening to ungodly music, excessive time on the telephone, and even gossiping.



Proverbs gives us a very healthful diet for our spiritual lives:

We can obtain wisdom and discipline. Proverbs 1:2-3; 2:2,6,10,12; 3:13; 4:5-9; 8:1-36; 9:12; 10:13,19,31; 12:15; 13:14; 24:14; 29:11

We can gain prudence, knowledge and insight. Proverbs 1:2-4,7; 2:5,10-11; 10:14; 14:8,15; 15:28

We can become discerning. Proverbs 1:5; 10:13

We can gain understanding. Proverbs 1:6; 2:2-3,6; 4:4,13; 9;10; 10:23; 15:32

We can develop the fear of the Lord. Proverbs 1:7; 2:7-8; 14:26; 15:16,33

We find honor. Proverbs 3:35; 11:16; 13:18; 22:1,4

We find health for our bodies. Proverbs 3:8; 4:22; 10;11; 14:30; 15:30; 17:22; 18:14,21

We discover guidelines for friendships. Proverbs 12:26; 13:20; 14:7; 18:24; 20:19; 22:24; 27:17; 29:22

We learn about being a godly wife. Proverbs 12:4; 14:1; 21:9,19; 24:3-4; 31:10-31

We uncover wisdom for parenting. Proverbs 22:6,15; 23:13; 29:15,17;31:10-31

We discover the power of our words. Proverbs 10:11,13,19-21,31; 11:13; 12:6,13-14,18; 13:2-3; 15:1-2,4,7; 18:21; 26:4-5,22; 31:26



Do you need to change your eating habits?

© 2006, Stacy R. Miller

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Jun. 30, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Criticism

Posted in Devotions

This week is going to be quite different since it is 4-H judging week. To help prepare for the week, I already have my menu plan done through August 12.

Monday - Run errands (~~bank~~, library) ~~DD's final clogging practice before the performance next week at the fair.~~ Everything for Monday came to an abrupt halt due to dd coming down with a stomach virus overnight. Clean the house, but only after all of the laundry has been done! There is lots of it after last night. Since I am stuck at home for the day, I will use the time to make 2 more gallons of laundry soap as well as some shampoo since I'm getting low in both. Watch my Ebay auctions that end tonight.

Tuesday - ~~Orthodontist appointment for dd~~. OOPS! That appointment is NEXT week! That turned out to be a GOOD thing, being dd will likely still be dehydrated and weak tomorrow, after just having the stomach flu. ~~Work out at the Y~~. That is out now since dd won't be up to it. Mail Ebay packages.

Wednesday - 4-H judging on dd's ceramics project. We have to be there by 8:00 AM. Time for .

Thursday - Another early day for 4-H judging on dd's 4-H memories scrapbooking project.

Friday - Take time to catch our breath. Later in the day, there is a 4th of July party in disguise. It's really a 50th b-day celebration for my cousin.

Saturday - Catch up on the house again. Look over my Sunday school lesson. Buy some lunch meat so we can take our own sandwiches to eat when we attend the fair next week. Much cheaper, and definitely easier on the stomach! That fair food makes me

Since dd is facing the criticisms of the 4-H judges this week, I decided to go with this devotion.

Criticism

None of us like to be criticized, and we like it even less when we are criticized by our own husband. The Bible tells us that there are times when we should admonish others, but when our husband sees a reason to admonish us, we can turn on him like a viper, ready to strike. We seem to forget the biblical mandate for admonishing others. Next, we start hollering about how he has no right to criticize us. Finally, we feel that carnal nature rising up within us to put him in his place and show him that if anyone in our household needs some criticizing, it is him!

Why would God choose to use our husband to admonish us?

1. Sometimes we refuse to listen to God.

We are constantly surrounded by noise. If it's not the radio, TV, the phone, or the kids, then it's the noise of things like the washing machine. It's no wonder we don't hear God speak to us!

In Psalm 81:8, God tells the people that if only they would listen, He could admonish them. How many times have I neglected to listen to the Lord?

2. Sometimes God may use our husband to test us.

We may be thinking that we have a true servant's heart, but God may use our husband to reveal to us that we only have a servant's heart toward certain people, and it's not those in our own house. In testing us, God may be watching to see how we respond when our husband brings up a valid issue.

3. Sometimes God speaks through our husband to correct us.

Our husbands often have a keen ability to sense when things at home may be out of balance. Granted, there are times when the house may be in shambles when he comes home because we've been too busy taking care of sick kids. However, if this is a common occurrence, God may speak through your husband to help you change priorities so that you will be more in line with Titus 2 where it talks about being keepers at home.

Our husband may sense that we are too immersed in outside activities, and it is causing chaos to reign in the home instead of making it a peaceful place of refuge for everyone at the end of a long day. He may sense that while we may be physically present in the home, we have mentally ‘checked out.’ This ‘checking out’ could be in the form of reading excessively, talking on the phone endlessly, spending unnecessary time on the Internet, or becoming a news junkie. It could mean that we have become an addict of soap operas or even the daily talk shows. The result is the same – CHAOS in the home.

4. Sometimes God will use our husband to caution us about unhealthy friendships.

I know that my own husband has keen insight a lot of the time regarding my friends. One time he cautioned me about a certain ‘friend’ with whom I was spending a lot of time. I did not heed the wisdom in what he shared. The price to be paid was great, for this ‘friend’ turned on me and stabbed me in the back. She was a conniving, manipulating person. For me to try and defend myself from her attacks would only add fuel to the fire. I had to stand back and let God take control and let Him vindicate me. Sad to say, but it was nearly two years before I got the confirmation that He had indeed vindicated me. I have learned a lot through that experience, but how much better off would I have been if only I had listened to the wise words of my husband? I have no doubt that it was the Spirit of the Lord speaking through him, trying to caution me against a wolf in sheep's clothing.

If your husband speaks to you about your friends, please seriously consider what he is saying to you. We are wise when we are cautious in our friendships, and sometimes a man's perspective can save us a load of turmoil later. (Proverbs 12:26) Because I failed to listen, I suffered much emotional and mental anguish. Is it any wonder? We are told in Proverbs 13:20 that if we hang out with fools, we will indeed suffer harm.

What should be our response when we feel our husband is criticizing us?

1. First, let your spirit rule you, rather than your emotions. When you do this, you will be more apt to follow the biblical mandate to be quick to hear, but slow in speaking or becoming angry. (James 1:19)

2. Don't repay him with evil. (Proverbs 20:22) Keep in mind that love isn't rude. Even if we feel our husband is completely out of line with his comments, it does not give us the right to turn on him and be rude and hurtful. Nor is it the time to do a history lesson, bringing up a record of the many criticisms that you may have built up against him over the years.

3. Don't become stiff-necked. If we become stiff-necked and stay that way, scripture tells us that we will be destroyed. (Proverbs 29:1) If we are destroyed, who may be destroyed right along with us?

4. Be receptive. We need to open our heart to instruction and insights from other people. If we do, we may learn some vital truths that can really help us to grow in the Lord. (Proverbs 23:12)

5. Remember the load of responsibility that your husband carries, as the head of the house. God will hold him responsible for what takes place in the home. (I Timothy 3:13) Since he is the head of the household, God may very well use him to correct some things taking place in the home, and some of those issues may involve admonishing you.

6. Be adaptable. The Amplified Bible tells us in Titus 2:5 that we are to adapt ourselves to our husband. That may mean that we need to adjust to a new way of doing things. Just because we've always done something a certain way doesn't mean that we can't change that. When we are adaptable, rather than cantankerous, it keeps the Word from being discredited.

7. Get ready for glory! As God's children, we are being changed from glory to glory. Sometimes God will use the words spoken by our husband in an effort to achieve a major transformation in us that allows His glory to shine brilliantly through us.

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Jun. 26, 2008 - Thankful Thursday and The Other Woman

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This week I am so grateful to have dd's Stanford Achievement Test results! She did awesome! She is going into 7th grade this year, and tested as post-high- school in 4 categories. She tested as high school level in 9 categories!

I am also thankful to have made myself quit procrastinating on some things. I got them accomplished on Monday, and I feel so much better knowing they are taken care of.

I am thankful for the Parallel Bible I found on Saturday for only $1.00! It has 4 different versions in it. It has really given my spiritual walk a much-needed boost. I find myself really digging into the Word and checking to see how things are worded in several versions.

I am thankful for the email I received from Liz Curtis Higgs this week. I emailed her to let her know what a blessing her books have been to me. She responded almost immediately. She is truly a blessing.

I am thankful that dd is nearly done with her research project for 7th grade. That will be a huge relief to have that out of the way when we officially start school again. She is doing a speed reading program, and I can see improvements already.

I'm also very thankful that two of my friends who have been gone on vacation are home again! I missed them while they were gone!

I'm thankful dh has been able to go to work again. He hurt his wrist about 10 days ago when he fell off one of these. What was kind of funny about it is that dd had just asked him, "Dad, are you trying to impress your lady?" Less than 30 seconds later, he truly was showing off, and went boom!

The Other Woman



Many times, we become so myopic with our vision. We are focused on our own personal tasks, whether it be for our job, our home, our family. We can miss out on those quality moments to minister to the 'other woman' who may be right in front of us.



Looking at the woman at the well, Jesus was likely tired and very thirsty, yet He took the time to minister to this woman at the very heart of her need. (John 4:1-42) When Peter's mother-in-law was sick, Jesus took time to heal her. (Luke 4:38-39) If we take time away from our agenda, can we bring healing through our intercession to the 'other woman' whom God places on our heart? Can we be a healing balm to the 'other woman,' who may have a wounded spirit?



The widow of Nain depended on her son for financial support, and now he was dead. Jesus cared enough about this 'other woman' to raise her son from the dead so that her needs would be met. (Luke 7:11-17) What about the 'other woman' you know who is widow? Can you offer her a ride to the doctor so she doesn't go alone? Can you take a few moments to let her know that you are thinking about her, or that you appreciate her?



The sinful woman came to pour out precious ointment upon the feet of Jesus. Yet, those around scorned her. (Luke 7:36-50) Would we be the same way with the 'other woman' if she suddenly started attending our church, and lavishly giving of herself to the Lord? Would we be intimidated by how fast she was growing in the Lord? Would we be jealous of her free worship of our Lord?



Joanna was a woman who supported the ministry of Jesus with her finances. (Luke 8:1-3) If the 'other woman' has implemented some really creative ideas to support the work of the Lord, would we stand back and criticize her? Or would we desire to encourage her?



When the woman with the issue of blood approached Jesus, He was on His way to help Jairus, whose daughter was sick. It's implied in scripture that this 'other woman' wasn't important because she wasn't mentioned by name, yet Jairus was mentioned by name and occupation, giving us the idea that he was an important man. Yet, we see Jesus take time for this insignificant woman. (Luke 8) Do we forget about the insignificant woman in order to take care of the woman who seems to be more important in social stature? Do we prefer to do our acts when they are seen by those 'important' people?



We see that the Syrophoenician woman had a serious plea and Jesus takes the time to respond to her. (Matthew 15:21-28) When the 'other woman' has a plea for a prayer request, do we take the time to agree with her right then in prayer? Or, do we tell her that we will be praying, only to forget about her request in a matter of seconds?



A woman caught in the act of adultery was quickly condemned by the people, yet Jesus refused to condemn her. (John 8:1-11) Do we condemn the 'other woman,' just like the people in this story did? Do we begin to gossip about the woman, not even realizing that our mouth has led us into just as bad of a sin? Do we remember that if it wasn't for God's grace, we could be that 'other woman'?



Looking at Mary and Martha, we see Martha griping about the 'other woman,' who happened to be sitting at the feet of Jesus, soaking up His every word. (Luke 10:38-42) When we see the 'other woman' being truly blessed by the Lord, do we find something about which to gripe? Do we speak bitter words about her?



In Luke 11:27-28, we find that a woman in the crowd cries out a blessing to Mary, the mother of Jesus. How often do we take time from our own agenda to simply bless the 'other woman?'



God sets many 'other women' in our path throughout the week. Many of them have been battered by trials that we can't even fathom. Some are battling deep depression because they feel like nobody cares. Some haven't felt appreciated in a long time. Who is Father laying on your heart? Isn't it time to break away from your own agenda and minister God's agenda to the 'other woman?'

© February 2004, Stacy R. Miller

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Jun. 23, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Judging verses Judging Fruit

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This week will be a fairly easy week (I hope!)

1. Monday - Run errands, straighten up the house, clogging class, list Ebay items Monday night. (My Ebay items include lots of A Beka cards for math and lang. arts, Spelling Power, Barry Stebbing's art program -- enough for 3-4 students! and more.) During dd's clogging class, I also hope to catch up with a few friends who have been gone on vacation.

2. Tuesday - Work out at the Y.

3. Wednesday - Not sure yet.

4. Thursday - Go to the Y.

5. Friday - Work on the house so it will look nice for the weekend. Hopefully, go to the Y again.

Part 2 of the Judging devotion: (If you missed part one, please see my last Thankful Thursday post.)

When Jesus tells us that a good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit, what does that mean for me? How do I live that out?

As I pointed out in the last devotion, it takes a lot of discernment. It also requires us to be wise as serpents, but harmless as doves. (Matthew 10:16) I want to share some examples that would easily fit our society today, in hopes of helping you to understand what it means to judge fruit.

Suppose you see a man who faithfully attends church, often gives testimonies, and prays out loud at prayer meetings. He seems like a very spiritual man, yet when you observe him around the women, you notice that he touches them in ways that do not seem to be appropriate. As you watch his eyes when a lady walks passed him, you see that he is looking at certain places on her anatomy that a truly godly man should refrain from viewing. Are you judging him by thinking that he is after more than just hearing the Pastor’s sermon? No. You are judging the fruit of his life, and it tells you to avoid him at all costs.

Suppose a lady starts coming to the women’s Bible study and she is very vibrant and expressive in her worship. She appears to really be in love with Jesus. After several weeks of attending Bible study, it becomes apparent that she has a serious problem with respecting her husband and submitting to him. She can never talk about him in a good light. Many of the stories she shares show that she is very manipulative in her relationships. If you choose not to befriend her, are you judging her? No, you are simply being cautious in friendship. (Proverbs 12:26) You want to choose a friend who is like iron sharpening iron. (Proverbs 27:17)

Perhaps there is a woman who attends your church who seems to thrive on attention. During worship, you cannot help but see her because she is making such an expressive display of emotion. In fact, she almost seems out of control. This lady is involved in so many activities in the church that she appears to be quite disorganized. Yet she continues to faithfully attend every activity at church, spending more time at church than she does home. You decide to stop by her house one day, only to find that her house is so filled with clutter that you would not be able to safely maneuver through the living room. Piles upon piles of disarray, and they are everywhere! Are you judging her if you decide that you do not want to spend much time with her? No, you have judged her fruit against Proverbs 31:12, which says that she brings her husband good and not harm. You see that she is not the faithful manager of the home that a virtuous woman should be. (Proverbs 31:27)

I firmly believe that we are living in the latter days. Because of that, Jesus told us that the love of many will wax cold. (Matthew 24:12) People will want to hear only preaching that will tickle their itching ears. (Second Timothy 4:3) While it may be easier to just keep our mouth shut and refuse to speak the truth of God’s Word, I want to encourage you to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Keep running the race He has marked out for you. Even in the midst of persecution, know that your Father is closely watching you, and He is pleased when you stand up for righteousness. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

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Jun. 19, 2008 - Thankful Thursday & Judging Fruit devotion

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Today I am thankful for:

1. Much cooler weather - it's been in the 70s instead of the upper 80s and 90s.

2. Some great buys I found on books this week. See my previous entry for details.

3. A new door the Lord is preparing to lead us through. I can't say much else on the topic right now.

4. Having some alone time with dh Wednesday while dd spent the night with a friend.

5. For God's grace because I've needed much of it recently.

6. For my bff, who lends me a listening ear as I process things. And I've had a LOT to process recently.

7. I'm also thankful that the Lord has gifted me to take the lessons I've learned and turn them into devotions that can help others. Since my passion is to encourage women, I have decided to start posting devotions on Monday and Thursday. I am starting with a 2-part devotion. Part 2 will be posted on Monday. I hope you enjoy it!

Today's devotion:

Judging

We live in a society where people push so hard to get us to be tolerant of their sin. Because of this, the scripture that tells us not to judge often gets taken out of context.

Matthew 7:1-5 warns us not to judge others. Yet, when you read it in context, it is referring to people who judge others for every little thing they do wrong, yet they refuse to see the planks in their own eye. Some examples of this would be if I judge you because you smoke, yet I overeat frequently. Another instance would be if I judge you for having books with occultic themes in them, yet I have a whole bookcase of steamy, romance novels in my own home. Another case in point would be if I judge someone for committing adultery, yet I daily struggle with lust and fantasizing. Jesus points out that when we even look upon another person with lust, we have already committed adultery in our heart. (Matthew 5:28)

Going back to the scripture in Matthew 7, it seems as if Jesus is negating what He said earlier in the chapter. In verses 15-23, He gives a clear warning to watch out for false prophets. In order to help us understand how to watch out for them, He tells us to look at the fruit in their lives. He points out that a bad tree cannot bear good fruit and vice versa. He even cautions us that not all who prophecy, cast out demons, and perform miracles will enter the kingdom of heaven. Wouldn't this be considered judging? No – it is judging fruit, and that is entirely different.

Obviously, it takes a discerning heart to tell if someone’s fruit is good. As a new Christian, I was naive enough to believe that if someone could ‘talk the talk’ then they were a good, strong Christian. After walking with the Lord for over twenty years now, I know that is not always true.

For instance, the Pharisees and teachers of the law knew the Word very well. They followed it as closely as they possibly could. Yet Jesus said they were full of dead men’s bones. (Matthew 23:27) Was Jesus judging them? No, He was judging their fruit, or the lack thereof.

In Acts 16:16-18, Paul and Silas were being followed by a slave girl who predicted the future. When Paul turned and commanded an evil spirit to come out of her, was he judging her? No, he was judging the fruit in her life. He was able to discern that while she did speak the truth about them, saying that they were servants of the Most High God, it was actually the spirit in her that was speaking, seeking attention for itself.

We find another example in Matthew 14:3-12 when John the Baptist spoke out and told Herod that it was wrong for him to have his brother’s wife. Was John judging Herod when he spoke this? No, he was preaching the uncompromised truth of God’s Word. Obviously, it infuriated Herod because he had John arrested, and later consented to have him beheaded.

It is the same with us when we dare to stand firm on the Word. We may also infuriate people. Besides facing persecution from my unsaved family members, I have received some of the most hateful, derogatory emails when I have dared to speak God’s truth. Unfortunately, there are many carnal Christians who want to be holy enough to make it to heaven, but they do not want to be holy enough where it causes a major disruption to their lifestyle. Speaking the uncompromised truth of God’s Word can bring conviction to those who do not want to be convicted. Their response is to lash out at us – the messenger. Second Timothy 3:12 tells us that if we live godly lives, we will face persecution. Just as Jesus was persecuted and even called a lunatic from his own family members, it is no different with us. We will also be persecuted.

It is understandable when the unsaved persecute us, but it can really hurt when we are persecuted by those who claim to be our brothers and sisters in Christ. The one thing that has helped me in those times is to remember that when I face persecution, God’s spirit and His glory rest on me. (First Peter 4:14)

Next time I will give some more examples of what it means to judge fruit.

© 2006, Stacy R. Miller

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Jun. 16, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & When It Floods

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My to-do list for this week:

1. Monday - Work on the house, library, 4-H meeting, clogging class

2. Tuesday - Have dd work on finishing her 4-H scrapbook, as well as work on her research paper.

3. Wednesday - Take dd to spend the night with a friend so dh and I can have some much-needed "alone time."

4. Thursday Finish up my Ebay auctions.

5. Friday - Straighten up the house for the weekend.

6. Saturday - Attend a used curriculum sale in another city.

Two - three days this week: Work out at the Y.

IOW -- most of my week is basically the same things I do every week.

Since there has been so much flooding over the last few weeks, I decided to post a devotion along those lines.

When It Floods

After seeing the worst flooding in our city since 1958, I made some observations that can be applied to our spiritual lives.

As I was watching those terrible storms rolling in, the winds began to blow furiously. The storm was raging outside, but inside my home, all was peaceful, calm, and full of light. The Lord gently spoke to me that there are times when it feels that life is fiercely blowing one storm after another at us, but if we stay connected to the vine, we will be able to have light, peace, and calmness in spite of what is going on around us. Ps. 1:3 mentions the person who is like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding its fruit in season. The tree yields its fruit because of a deep root system. If we don't keep our roots going deeper and deeper into the Word of God, when the winds begin to blow in our life, we aren't going to be able to withstand for long. How are your roots doing?

I was in the living room watching a storm rolling in from the west. It was only 8:45 AM, but looking outside, it looked more like 8:45 PM. The darkness was unbelievable for that time of day during the summer months. When we face trials of many kinds, our outlook can become darkened. II Sam. 22:29 tells us that the Lord turns my darkness into light. Ps. 28:28 says that the Lord keeps my lamp burning and turns my darkness into light. Ps. 37:6 says that our righteousness will shine like the dawn. Ps. 112:4 says that even in darkness, light dawns for the upright. Even when the darkness of trials and tribulations surround us, God can cause our light to shine forth.

The destruction from the flooding was incredible. It was unlike anything I had ever observed. So many families saw the destruction of their homes, their cars, precious items were destroyed. Many lost treasured family pictures and sentimental gifts. When we are flooded with problems, we can face spiritual destruction. We can feel that our fortress has fallen, never to be repaired. We must be sure that we are laying up for ourselves treasures in heaven. (Mt. 6:19-21) We must remember that we are aliens and strangers on this earth. (I Pet. 2:11)

After the water receded, everything was so dirty and polluted. When we are being flooded by numerous trials, are we allowing ourselves to become polluted? Are we allowing the wrong, negative thoughts to set themselves up as strongholds in our thinking? Are we allowing our hearts to become bitter and hardened? I remember hearing our pastor mention that the only difference between the words "bitter" and "better" is the letter "i." Many times we can't stop the trials that come upon us, but we can choose how we will respond to those trials. When troubles assail us, we must choose to think upon those things which are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy. (Phil. 4:8) When our flesh is wanting us to think negatively all the time, we must choose to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Rom. 12:2)

Once the water began to shrink back, you could see that the grass was dead. The flooding waters choked the life out of the grass. Mt. 13:20-21 talks about the seed that fell on the rocky places and relates it to one who falls away in times of trouble. In verse 22, Jesus talks about the seed that falls among the thorns representing those who let their worries choke their spiritual life. Is this our response when we face misfortunes? Jesus admonishes us in Mt. 6:33-34 that we need to seek His kingdom first and not worry about tomorrow. In John 16:33 He reminds us to take heart and be of good courage because He has overcome the world. It doesn't matter what storms come our way, our God is big enough to help us through them!

While we were out observing some of the effects of the flooding, we couldn't help but notice the stench that was left after the waters had shrunken back. When facing multiplied trials, do we become a stench to those around us? Does our attitude stink? (No pun intended!) Is. 3:24 says that "instead of fragrance, there will be a stench." (NIV) But in II Cor. 2:16, it mentions that we can be the fragrance of life. Which description is a more apt description of us when troublesome times assail us? My prayer is that we can say, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." II Cor 4:8-10 (NIV)

When the Mississippi River had the great flood in 1993, I was flying to Arizona to visit my brother. From the plane, I could look down and see the devastation everywhere. I could also look up and see the beautiful clouds and sunshine that surrounded the plane. The clouds looked like huge sculptures that day. They were stunning to observe. I had the choice of choosing to either look down at the devastation from all of the rain, or I could lift my eyes and see beautiful artwork, done by the Master Creator. It reminded me of Is. 40:31 where it tells us that those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, that they will soar on eagle's wings, they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint. Even when there seems to be trouble on every side, we can find our strength in Him.

Many people have fallen away from the Lord in times of trouble and distress because their roots didn't go deep enough to sustain them in the winds and storms that raged in their lives. Ps. 119:165 says that those who love the law of God will have great peace and NOTHING can make them stumble. We must be sure to keep our roots going deep. Ps. 42:7 mentions deep calling to deep. When we face various trials, we need for deep to call to deep, pulling out from the reservoir of God's spirit in us, the words of life to sustain us and give us hope, encouragement, peace, and strength.

Many years ago I worked as a bank teller. I remember getting off from work one evening after an incredibly stressful day. I was on my way to the post office to drop off the bank's mail, yelling to God at the top of my lungs in such frustration. It had been raining that evening, and as I turned to make my way out of the post office parking lot, I saw the most beautiful, vivid rainbow that I have ever seen. It was so awesome that I immediately stopped my yelling, but instead of closing my mouth, my jaw just hung there in awe. Very gently, Father whispers to me, "Daughter, you will face trials of many kinds, but I will NEVER let them overflow you." His Word spoken to me is the same for you. Do not fear. Your trials will not overflow you!

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Jun. 13, 2008 - All of the Flooding we are facing

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This is what the Lord spoke to me recently about all of the flooding we are seeing:

What we are seeing in the natural is what is taking place in the spiritual. The Church is going through a time of testing, unlike what we've ever seen in our generation. The result will be that those who live in His Word, and stay connected to Him, will go through this testing with His Spirit pouring upon them like a flood. For those who do not live in His Word, allowing it to take deep root in their hearts, they are going to be washed away like the houses, trees, etc., that we've been seeing throughout the flooding.

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Jun. 11, 2008 - Thankful Thursday -- I've Fallen & You Won't Let Me Up

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Today I am thankful for a wonderful devotion written by a friend of mine:

I've Fallen and You Won't Let Me Up

We all know what it is to desire mercy. As Christians, we realize our need for a Savior. We understand that Romans 3:23 (NLT) is talking about us when it says, 'For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard.' But for many of us, we have yet to learn how to give mercy as readily as we receive it.

Remember the 90s commercial for Life Alert where the elderly lady called for help with the cry, "I've fallen, and I can't get up"? She was lying on the floor of the bathroom in her gown with her walker overturned. She was totally helpless, completely vulnerable and pleading for someone to rescue her. With one touch of the Life Alert, she was immediately in contact with someone who could get her the help she needed. The guy answering the phone wasn't going to be the one directly coming to her aid, however. It was going to be paramedics or the fire department or someone from the police department who would actually show up and get her back up on her feet again.

As Christians, we have our own sort of 'Life Alert' system. We call on God, and then He dispatches other believers to move in and respond to the call of His child in need. But when some of us receive that call, we choose to sit back with a critical and condemning spirit and assign blame to our struggling brother or sister in Christ for their own situation rather than follow the prompting of the Spirit to begin assisting in their healing and restoration. It is often we Christians who are slowest to forgive fallen believers. It is often we Christians who are least likely to extend a hand to help pull a brother or sister up out of the muck and mire of sin. It is all too frequently we Christians who are most unwilling to welcome a fellow believer back into the fold following a moral or spiritual failure.

But the Bible is very clear that we have a responsibility to do all we can to lovingly and gently bring our fallen brothers and sisters back into relationship with Christ and with the Body. Galatians 6:1 (AMP) tells us, '...if a person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness...'. And in Luke 6:37 (MSG) Jesus says, "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults--unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back--given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity." This applies to forgiveness too.

In Isaiah 1:18 (LB) we read, 'Come, let's talk this over! says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!' In light of this, how arrogant are we to withhold true forgiveness from others when our God extends this promise to all who will receive it? Psalm 103:10 (NIV) says, 'he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.' Knowing how merciful God is in dealing with us and our sin, why are we sometimes so harsh dealing with a fallen brother or sister? Why do we insist on getting 'justice' or having them 'pay' for their sins against us?

Why aren't we willing to just follow the teaching of Ephesians 4:26-27, 29-32 (NCV)? We read, 'When you are angry, do no sin, and stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you...When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need--words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God's proof that you belong to him. God gave you the Spirit to show that God will make you free when the final day comes. Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.'

If we honestly examine the reasons we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts, we will likely find anger and pride high on the list. But unforgiveness, no matter the motivation, always exacts a toll from the person holding it as well as from the one from which it is withheld. Even more important, it disappoints our God when we, as believers, choose not to forgive one another. And it is to Him that we all will ultimately answer for willful and obstinate forgiveness in our hearts and lives.

Matthew 5:14-15 (MSG), Jesus says, "In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part." Hear His words today. Let them do their work in you. If you are holding on to some bitter resentment or aching unforgiveness, make today the day you give it over to God. Let Him heal your spirit so you can begin to find forgiveness for whomever has wronged you.

© June 11, 2008 Tami L. Wyant

Women at the Well

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Jun. 8, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Picking Scabs

Posted in Devotions

This week:

1. Keep an eye on my Ebay auctions.

2. Take some items to the resale shop, followed by taking dd for her orthodontist appointment.

3. Library

4. Get dd back on track with working on her research paper. (It really helps to have her do that over the summer because I can cross off several days of LA for the next year.)

5. Work on my professional writing assignment. (I have the rough drafts done, but need to tweak them a bit and get them typed.)

6. Spend time with dh since he was gone all last week.

Picking Scabs



In her desperation to give Abram an heir, Sarai decided to 'help' God by giving Hagar to Abram. Sarai had no idea as to what kind of scab she was making by her actions. Once Hagar was pregnant, she began to despise Sarai. (Gen. 16:4)

In picking scabs, Sarai begins to blame Abram for her suffering, even though SHE is the one who told Abram to sleep with her maidservant. Not only that, she begins to mistreat Hagar. How many times have we done something that we shouldn't have, only to end up taking out our frustrations on those around us?



About thirteen years later, God speaks His promise to Abram regarding the covenant to be a father of many nations. God even changes Abram's name to Abraham, and Sarai's name to Sarah. Later, we see where the three men come to visit Abraham, telling him that Sarah will give birth to a son in about a year. As we read about the birth of Isaac, it appears that maybe Sarah's scabs have healed....Well, maybe not. In Gen. 21:9, we see where Sarah observes Ishmael mocking Isaac. She quickly orders Abraham to get rid of Hagar and Ishmael. In picking her scab, I wonder if Sarah realized what kind of pain she was bringing upon Abraham. (Gen. 21:11)

If we look at the story of Esau and Jacob, we see more scabs. For starters, in Gen. 25:28, we see where Isaac loved Esau, and Rebecca loved Jacob. I can see problems already. Can you imagine how your household would be if you chose to love one child more than the others, and your husband chose to love a different child more than the others? There would be so much strife between husband and wife, not to mention the jealousy between the children. Bickering would be an everyday occurrence in the home. I can picture the children always competing to have the upper hand.



Looking back to our story, that is exactly what happened. Esau comes home from having been outside for quite some time, feeling famished. Jacob has some stew, and he is even willing to share it with Esau......for a price. The scab is being picked again.



In Gen. 27, we see where Rebekah connives and manipulates to get the blessing of the firstborn for her favorite son. She succeeds, but the thrill of conquering is short-lived. The scab is so infected now that Jacob has to flee for his life, and he never sees his dear mother again. What good is it if a man gains the whole world and loses his soul? In their pursuit to have it all, Jacob and Rebekah lost each other. Some wounds never heal.



Our final example of one who was guilty of picking scabs is Martha. I use her as an example because there are many times when we are just like her. Martha is frantically working in the kitchen, trying to prepare a feast for Jesus. She is distracted by the many preparations, but she is also distracted in her thoughts, thinking about how Mary has left her to do all the work, while she is just sitting at the feet of Jesus, doing nothing. I'll bet she had all kinds of thoughts going through her mind.



"That lazy sister of mine has done it again -- leaving all of the work to me."

"I have never felt so 'taken for granted' in all of my life!"

"My sister is so undependable! Just when I need her the most, she leaves me!"

"Mary may help for a while, but once there's a man around, forget it! She darts off to work her female charm."

"I've had it! Enough of this! I'm going to have Jesus put her in her place, and tell her to get in here and help me."

How many times do we listen to our negative self-talk while we are busily working around the house, at our job, or even serving in the church?



Martha has done what many of us do -- she has equated serving the Master with communing with the Master. In the process, she's gotten the wrong focus, and now she's picking scabs.



Martha is expecting to have Jesus put Mary in her place for doing nothing but just sitting there. What Martha hears is something else. Jesus is putting Martha in HER place! He defends Mary's choice to do nothing, but sit at His feet, saying that Mary has made the best choice, and He isn't going to take it from her.



Do you need to sit quietly before Jesus, doing nothing, and let Him tend to all the scabs you've been picking?

© March 2004, Stacy R. Miller

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May. 25, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Home Work

Posted in Devotions

This week will likely be an easier week than recent ones, as we don't have a lot scheduled. I also had a very productive week last week, so much of what could have gone on this week's schedule is already done.

1. Have dd continue her work on the 4-H scrapbooking memories project.

2. Enjoy Memorial Day with my family.

3. Visit the Y and also return some library books at the same time.

4. Check my menu plan and see what I can carry over into June.

5. Watch my Ebay auctions. - I have 20 items listed right now, all of which are homeschool items. Several are A Beka math for lower grades.

Home Work

Some of you may ask why I bring up this subject when school is out for summer break. I'm not referring to school work, but to our work in the home. Titus 2:4-5 gives us an assignment for our home work. It says that we are to love our husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, also to be busy at home, kind, and subject to our husbands so that the no one will malign the Word of God.

I am going to be sharing a lot from my personal experience in trying to live out the above scripture. It was not an easy transformation, and I still have struggles at times, but it is an assignment that I am willing to continue doing because I have seen the fruits of putting it into action. I hope that some of you are able to learn from my mistakes.

1. We are to be busy at home. (Titus 2:5) As a new mom, who was used to working full time, this was really hard for me. I craved time with adults. Often, if I wasn't leaving to go visit a friend, I was at least spending a large amount of time on the phone talking to friends. While it's not bad to converse with friends, many times I found that the conversations were going in a direction that wasn't good. Yes, I admit it, we were gossiping. (I really don't like that word!)

I was feeling isolated, trying to stay at home. Part of the reason I was isolated was because I was out of God's will. The Bible tells us that we are to be busy at home, not to be busybodies! The isolation was because I wasn't obeying what God said. As I began to read Proverbs and several books about women's issues, it was becoming so clear to me that I was out of God's will in several areas. To try and stay home more was going to take a lot of work! I began to ask the Lord to help me learn to be content at home (in all circumstances). Phil. 4:11

2. We are to love our husbands and our children. (Titus 2:4) To do this, you can't be running on empty all the time. I found that I was leaving home to go shopping or going to garage sales on a frequent basis. There's nothing wrong with doing these things, but if they become our focus, we get ourselves into trouble. I found that on the days when I did so much running around, Rachel and I were both cranky. We were both tired and I was very stressed. I have found that running errands or going shopping are big users of my energy! When evening came, I didn't feel motivated to fix a big meal, nor did I feel like being too kind to my husband. I wanted him to come in and take care of Rachel so that I could have a break! It sure wasn't a good way to show love to him or Rachel. I'm sure that it often left him feeling like he was being taken for granted. As I continued to pray for God to help me learn to be content to stay at home, I quickly saw that on the days when we did stay home, the atmosphere was MUCH more peaceful for all of us. My stress level greatly decreased. It quickly became my heart's desire to be home as much as I could.

3. Be self-controlled. (Titus 2:5) If we aren't self-controlled, then our home work is going to haphazard at best. I saw in Prov. 1 that the Proverbs were written for attaining wisdom and discipline, for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right. I want to focus on the word "prudent." It refers to one who is exercising sound judgment in practical matters, who is cautious in conduct, and manages carefully.

I had begun to spend more time at home, but was feeling no real sense of purpose, beyond changing diapers, being a built in milk factory, and personal laundry attendant. As I pondered on the word "prudent," I came up with the idea of checking out the prices at several grocery stores. I found out that I had been shopping at the most expensive store in town. To use "sound judgment in practical matters," I began to revise how I did my grocery shopping. I was very quickly able to save us at least $20 to $60 a week. I found a real sense of purpose in what I was doing. I saw that I was putting some principles from Prov. 31 into practice by doing my husband "good, and not harm." I saw that my "trading" was profitable because it was stretching the money which my husband was earning. I had a new sense of purpose and a joy in my heart because I knew that I was starting to live out more of the principles found in the Word.

4. We are to be kind and pure. (Titus 2:5) I found that part of putting this into practice was by being cautious in friendship. (Prov. 12) Going again to the word prudent, we are to be cautious in our conduct. I knew some people who were constant gossips, one of whom was constantly talking about her husband in a bad way. It wasn't like she talked about him to get me to keep him in prayer, but she just felt the need to give him a tongue-lashing, even when he wasn't present. I was striving to be kind and pure in my walk with the Lord, so I quickly began to find different friends. I didn't need a "friendship" that was going to suck the spiritual life out of me in just a matter of minutes.

Another way of being cautious in friendship is just by being mindful of how much time you spend with your friends. You don't want to cause your friend problems in her own family by the amount of time which she is spending with you. I still visit my friends, mainly because it gives my only child a chance to play with other children. Even then, we don't do it more than once every 7-10 days. The Lord has helped me to achieve a good balance there. I also picked friendships that were like "iron sharpening iron," mentioned in Prov. 27:17

5. We are to be subject to our husbands. (Titus 2:5) Part of being subject to our husbands is learning to do what pleases them. I don't know of any man who desires to come home to a house that is dirty or cluttered. Going back to being prudent, one who manages her home carefully is going to be one who manages to stay home to see that the work gets done. Every day there needs to be a time set aside for tidying up the house before our husbands get home. We also need to be mindful of how hard they work to make an income. That requires sacrifice on our part at times -- like staying away from the malls. They are often a deceptive tactic of the enemy to cause us to be filled with discontentment.

6. We are to teach what is good. (Titus 2:3) We are to be diligently teaching and training our children. We are to be instructing them in righteousness. I found that as I learned to stay at home more, I had much more energy, not to mention more time, to teach Rachel about the Lord. We still often talk about God while we are running errands, but we are also spending a lot more time reading devotions together. At bedtime, we are getting into the habit of reading the Word before we go to sleep.

Proverbs 19:16 tells us that she who obeys instruction guards her life. The instruction for me, as a stay at home wife and mother was becoming much clearer. (Although I haven't really even touched the surface of it in this message.) As I began to put this into daily practice, I found a new joy and contentment in my heart. Granted, we aren't at home all the time, but our days of errand running are down to only one or two days a week now, instead of three to four days. I have much more energy for the tasks that are before me.

Yes, ladies, we have much home work to do, and if we allow God to teach us how to do it His way, we will find that godliness with contentment is GREAT gain. (I Tim. 6:6) This kind of home work may not earn us a diploma, but it may earn us these words: "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of the Lord."

© 2003, Stacy R. Miller

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May. 18, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Submission devotion

Posted in Devotions

Things to do this week:

1. Monday - Attend the used curriculum sale, which is the same time as dd's clogging class. Have dd finish her 4-H paperwork that didn't get completed last week due to both of us suffering from allergies. Call the eye doctor and cancel my appointment so that I can see my regular doctor instead for a nasty sinus infection.

2. Tuesday - Go to the Y and also visit the library to get dd started on her research project for next year. Also have dd finish up her ceramic project so that we can get it fired and ready for glazing.

3. Wednesday - Celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. ~~Also visit the eye doctor and get bifocals.~~ What a way to celebrate!

4. Thursday - Focus on the house and go to the Y.

5. Saturday - Possibly attend a luncheon with all the gals on my mom's side of the family.

In honor of our 20th wedding anniversary this week, I picked a devotion that has to do with our relationship with our husband.

The Dreaded "S" word - Submission

should be something that we are honored to do, but oftentimes, it is dreaded as something so horribly awful. I think that there has been some teaching out there that is unbiblical regarding submission. As I learned some Biblical things about submission, it has helped me look at it in a whole new way. I pray that the insights will help each one of you be able to embrace the role of submitting to your husband.

I like the Amplified version of Eph. 5:33 -- ...let the wife see that she respects and reverences (deeply respects, loves, and is in awe of) her husband. She should notice him, regard (consider, gaze upon, to hold in affection and respect) him, honor him, prefer him, venerate (look upon with deep respect) him, and esteem (to value highly) him, and that she defers (to yield with courtesy) to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.

As God has delivered me from some patterns of wrong thinking due to moral failures that occurred before I was married, I have been able to enjoy my husband in new ways. We have been married almost fifteen years now, but oftentimes, I find myself flirting with him, just with my eyes. We will both get to giggling, and then Rachel will start saying, "What's so funny?" Which, of course, only makes us laugh harder. We just tell her that it's something between mommy and daddy. If you aren't in the habit of flirting with your husband, I highly recommend it! You may be very pleasantly surprised at the results.

One year I bought some massage oil for him. Even after being married well over ten years, he blushed when he opened it. This was just another way of regarding him and esteeming him.

In the above verse in Eph. 5, it mentions preferring your husband. A way to show that I prefer him is that when he gets home in the evening, I try not to make any phone calls. If a phone call comes in for me, I keep it short, and just explain to the person that my husband is home so I need to go. I also try to stay off of the computer when he is home. This shows honor to him, as well as preferring him. I also don't make plans to get together with my girlfriends when he is going to be home. Another way to show respect for him is that if you are watching TV, and he wants to talk, turn it off. Show him that you are more interested in what he has to say than what the "one-eyed monster" is saying.

If you feel that you are at a loss of how to apply this scripture in your marriage, ask God to reveal to you ways that you can apply it. I did that and God began to show me other ways, as well as what I had already put into practice. One thing is so simple, but yet it is still a way to respect and regard him. When I wash the bath towels, I always put his on top of the stack. Then when he needs it, he doesn't have to dig through the stack. I try to keep socks and underwear for him in the bathroom so that when he goes to take a shower, it's one less thing that he has to dig out from the bedroom. These are such simple, easy things, but as moms, don't you find that it's the simple things that your spouse does for you that you tend to appreciate the most? For instance, what if he makes the bed or says that he will do the dishes? Those things don't take up a lot of time, but I know that I deeply appreciate having someone else do them for me once in a while.

A way in which you can defer to your husband is by letting him choose the TV show for the evening or even by letting him pick the restaurant when you are going out to eat. Even if you may not feel like doing it, when he says, "Let's go to...," answer enthusiastically by saying, "Sure! Sounds great!" This is just one more way where you defer to him. If he is suggesting that you go someplace, it means that he is desiring YOUR company!

Many men don't take the time to nurture friendships with other men. They are too busy trying to make a living. I began to pray about this issue. It was only a matter of a few weeks before my husband was out having coffee and met another Christian man. They get together often to chat. I don't begrudge him of this because I have seen the difference that this one friendship has made in his attitude.

While on this subject, let me highly recommend the book called "The Power of a Praying Wife." It is an awesome book that will help you pray more effectively for your husband. That book is what lead me to start praying for a male friend for my husband. I have added that book to part of my devotional time. The prayers are loaded with scripture. I love putting scripture in my prayers because I have no doubt as to whether or not I am praying for God's will. It helps me to stay more focused on my prayers for my husband as well. I have seen positive results from these prayers many times.

Another simple way I have found to honor my husband is by planning just about every night to use the massager on his back. He gets to hurting, and that really does help to make him feel better, not to mention that it just plain feels good! A side note here is that shortly after I started making this a habit, he was talking to a lady who asked him if I worked. He responded by telling her "Yes, she works hard. She has a hot meal fixed for me every night and she massages my back just about every night!" That made me feel more appreciated than if he had brought home a dozen roses.

In I Pet. 3:1 it says that wives should submit to their husbands. If you skip down to verse 5, it's still talking about the submission issue, and it says that the holy women of old WHO HOPED IN GOD were submissive to their husbands, adapting themselves to their husbands. The bottom line here is that if we can't submit to our husband, then we have a problem with our relationship with the Lord. Notice that the verse says the holy women of old hoped in GOD. They saw their submission to their husband as a submission to God. They trusted God to take care of them, even if their husbands made a bad choice. Now I'm not saying that we need to submit to them if they are asking us to sin. That is entirely different.

Let me give you an example. My husband wanted me to start the process of looking for a different house. I was not thrilled with the idea, but I obeyed him, and have started looking. I am putting my trust in the Lord that if we are to move, that God will make a way for it. If God doesn't want us to move, then I am praying for Him to close any doors that my husband may want to go through that aren't God's plan for us.

I have found that it is really easy to look at someone else's faults (including my husband's), and want to pray for God to change them. I have learned that it is much wiser to pray for God to change ME! Often, God will let us go through things to teach us something. There may be something that you really want to change, but God may want to get you to be content in the circumstance BEFORE He decides to bring about a change in it. Hmm, seems to me that Paul mentioned learning how to be content in any circumstance.

Another way to show respect for him is to keep the house in good order. No husband wants to come home to disarray after working hard all day. I'm not saying to have the place spotless at all times. I'm just saying that it should be orderly, without toys and clutter being everywhere when he walks in the door. Your home should be a sanctuary for him, a place where he feels at peace and rest. It should be an inviting place for him. If you do this, not only are you following what God would have you to do, but you are also putting the enemy to flight. You are giving one less temptation to your husband by making the home inviting to him. You are making it a place where he wants to be.

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May. 11, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Politically Correct

Posted in Devotions

Here is my list of not-so-ordinary things to do this week:

1. Monday morning is dd's orthodontist appointment.

2. Monday afternoon I am having a "demo" in my home for other hs moms on how I make my own laundry soap. If there is enough interest, I will also show them my "make a mix" items. I hope to have time to make some brownies, granola, and energy bars for them to sample, but with the doctor appointment in the morning, there may not be enough time. I also would like to show them how to make their own facial cleanser, anti-perspirant, sore muscle massaging oil, shampoo, and sugar scrub. If time allows, I will even show how to make your own homemade cleaners. (Most of these items are already listed in my TT posts or S&T Friday posts, in case you want to see them.)

3. Work out with the weight machines and swim at the Y at least 3 times this week.

4. Get dd started on her research project for next year.

5. Get dd motivated to complete what she can of her 4-H paperwork. Since her ceramics project got delayed, due to the broken arm, she won't be able to complete that paperwork for a few more weeks.

I mentioned last week that I wanted to do something special for my family for Mother's Day. I planned to make a carrot cake from scratch. DD insisted on doing it herself. It turned out really well!

Politically Correct

“Politically correct” has become the new buzz word of the day. It appears the concept of being politically correct has also infiltrated the mind-set of many Christians.

I have seen people who profess to be Christians, yet believe there is nothing wrong with being gay. There are even denominations which are ordaining homosexual ministers. Yet God clearly condemns this sin. The Word tells us that those who are homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. (I Corinthians 6:9-10)

I have heard numerous stories of men who profess to be Christians leaving their wives for another woman. Often, they will say that it just feels right, so it must be of God for them to continue this adulterous relationship. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked. Our hearts will easily lead us astray, so we must follow what the Word of God tells us. His Word clearly denounces adultery in First Corinthians 6:9-10.

I see many professing Christians allowing witchcraft into their homes through a series of popular books. The Lord makes it very clear in Leviticus 19:26 that we are to stay away from these things. In Exodus 22:18, we see that anyone who practiced sorcery was to be put to death. So why would a Christian allow any kind of witchcraft in their home?

As I have taken a stand against these very things, I have been verbally attacked. I would expect this behavior from nonbelievers, but these vicious assaults came from people who profess to be Christians!

In a place of Christian fellowship, I was repeatedly bashed when I spoke out against a lesbian witch. She would pretend to be a Christian, yet was active in circles that flaunted homosexuality and Wicca. First Corinthians 5:9-11 tells us not to associate with one who professes to be a Christian, yet lives a lifestyle that says otherwise. When I dared to speak the truth of God’s Word on this issue, I was accused of being on a witch-hunt.

I believe we are living in the days when the love of many will wax cold. (Matthew 24:12) We are living in a time when even the elect are being deceived into choosing to be politically correct, rather than standing firm on the Word of God. (Matthew 24:24)

I have struggled to understand why professing Christians have so blatantly attacked those who choose to speak the uncompromised Word of God. I have finally come to realize that people who compromise on the principles in God’s Word can not stand the sight of excellence. They are deeply convicted when someone takes a righteous stand on an issue, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. The result is lashing out at those who speak the uncompromised truth.

Jesus faced this very thing many times with the religious leaders of His day. They lashed out at Him, persecuted Him, called Him names, and planned to kill Him. Jesus assured us that His followers will also be persecuted. (John 15:20)

As we get closer to the second coming of Jesus, things will only get worse. We need to make a decision. Will we choose to join the popular crowd and be politically correct? Or, will we join the ranks of those who refuse to compromise, and be Biblically correct?

© 2006, Stacy R. Miller

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May. 4, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Struck by Lightning

Posted in Devotions

This week will be different for us:

1. Monday - Wednesday is the yearly Stanford Achievement Testing.

2. I am scheduled to help in the kitchen with snacks during testing on Monday and Tuesday.

3. On Wednesday, I hope to work on my Sunday school lessons for the summer quarter while dd is doing her testing. I did finally come up with what I should teach: Bad Girls of the Bible. I recently purchased an NLT version of the Bible so I am currently going through all of the scriptures listed in the workbook, seeing if the NLT sheds some additional light on the subject at hand.

4. Get back on track with having dd do chores, now that her cast is finally off!

5. I mentioned last week that I wanted to come up with something special to do for Mother's Day weekend. I decided to make a carrot cake from scratch. I rarely make any desserts because:

a. We are trying to make healthier choices,

b. I am not supposed to have sugar,

c. Making desserts only adds more money to our

already-tight food budget.

Since we've had some storms in our area recently, I opted to go with this devotion for today:

Struck by Lightning

One day while it was storming, I was talking on the phone to my friend, Brandie. Suddenly, I heard a loud, thunderous boom, seemingly right above our house. Brandie heard me let out a yell – not of fear, but of pain. I had been struck by lightning!

The jolt of the electricity caused me to quickly drop the phone to my side. I could feel a tingling sensation down the left side of my face. Shortly after, I had a ringing in my ear and a pounding headache that lasted for several hours.

Needless to say, it left quite an impression on me. I now understand that when Grandma told me to stay off the phone during a storm, it was not just an old wives’ tale. It was wise advice!

Too often, I think the church takes the attitude of, “Reading the Word is just an old wives’ tale. I can do just fine without it.” We continue doing things our own way, only to feel like we have suddenly been struck by lightning. Because we failed to read the Word and seek God's counsel, we find that we are jolted, much like when the lightning jolted me. We are shaken to the core of our being, left with the excruciating pain of reaping what we have sown. How much better we would have been if only we would have taken time for God and His Word!

I have seen many farm houses that have a lightning rod to protect the house if lightning should strike. As Christians, we have a rod to protect us. God's rod and His staff are there for us. (Psalm 23:4) When we are faithful to be in His Word, He will use the rod and staff to guide us and correct us if we start to stray from His path. He will use His Word to teach and rebuke us, to correct us, and to train us in righteousness. (II Timothy 3:16)

The result will be that when we face a crisis, it won't jolt us like a bolt of lightning. Instead, we will quickly look to our Shepherd, finding comfort and direction in the rod and staff.

Be sure to check out my contest!

~~ Stacy ~~

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Apr. 27, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & Spiritually Used

Posted in Devotions

Out-of-the-ordinary things to do this week:

1. Try to get school finished up since we got delayed last week when dd started running a high fever.

2. Hopefully, get dd's cast removed on Tuesday.

3. Finish up some teacher paperwork for my hs stuff.

4. Go to the funeral home for a dear man from our church who was killed in an accident on Saturday.

5. Start preparing for my summer Sunday school class.

I am continuing the theme on friendships in this week's devotion.

Spiritually Used

It is a noble thing for a woman to desire to model Titus 2:3-5. However, because a woman has a passion to minister to other women, she can easily fall prey to the tactics of a user. Women who are timid find it difficult to say “no” to a user. Women with strong personalities often find pleasure in being asked to share their opinions.

I met a lady whom I will call Betty. We hit it off very well, seeming to share the same values. We forged a friendship, attending some of the same classes, and even visiting each other on occasion.

I began to notice a pattern to our conversations. They seemed to revolve around the happenings in her life. She was constantly seeking my advice. When I would respond with scripture, she would quickly affirm my insights with comments like, “Oh, that is good,” or “I never thought of it like that.” Because I thrive on words of affirmation, I never seemed to notice that she rarely brought scripture into our conversations.

Several months later, Betty was faced with a difficult dilemma. Because of my desire to help women, I spent a great deal of time counseling her with a scriptural approach to her situation. A few times I even left messages for her, stating that I had some more information which she may find helpful. Those calls were always quickly returned. Yet on other occasions, she would rarely, if ever, return my calls.

One evening, I was quite stressed and in despair over a situation of my own. I knew Betty had faced this very circumstance, so I decided to call her. I left a message for her, leaving no doubt as to my frame of mind. I knew I could count on her to help me. After all, Betty was my friend. However, she never returned my phone call.

As I pondered and prayed about this, I realized that I was not being unreasonable in feeling that I deserved a return phone call, for true friends are kind to each other. (Job 6:14)

I also came upon the realization that some people are only friends with us if we give them gifts. (Proverbs 19:6) I had poured myself into Betty’s life, yet was not getting anything in return. I discerned that what Betty was doing was using me. She was seeking the spiritual food which I had earnestly sought so she would not have to be diligent in the Word herself.

By trying to be a Titus 2 woman, I had ended up becoming spiritually used, allowing her to use up my time, my energy, and my spiritual food.

The Word tells us that faithful friendships are refreshing. (Proverbs 27:9) A true friend sticks by you in good times and bad times. (Proverbs 17:17; 18:24) Real friends are like iron sharpening iron. (Proverbs 27:17) If you cannot say this is true of your friendships, perhaps you have also been spiritually used.

Take some time to evaluate your friendships. Have you been spiritually used?

© 2007, Stacy R. Miller

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Apr. 20, 2008 - Monday Meanderings & The Spiritual Enabler

Posted in Devotions

Plans for this week:

1. Try to do school while lying down since my back went out early Sunday morning.

2. Try to get a ride lined up for dd to get to her clogging class since my back is out of whack.

3. Pick up dd's pictures from Walmart.

4. Finish WWII lapbooking project and geography book in school.

5. Start seeking the Lord about what class to teach next quarter at church.

6. Continue doing the Lies Young Women Believe study with dd.

The Spiritual Enabler

In recent years, the terms “co-dependent” and “enabler” have become quite popular in dealing with people who are in dysfunctional relationships. These ideas have infiltrated the church.

For instance, we may fail to obey the Lord when He tells us to step down from a place of ministry. After all, if we step down, who will fill our shoes? The church needs us! We are spiritually co-dependent when we think God cannot find someone else to fill that place of ministry.

I went through a situation where a lady kept seeking me for advice. I spent a great deal of time talking with her on several occasions. I gave her clear-cut, scriptural guidelines. Yet, she refused to make the necessary changes. By allowing her to monopolize my time, I was enabling her – enabling her to take time away from my family and my priorities, not to mention enabling her to drain me emotionally, physically, and mentally.

I have seen a situation in church where a lady lies continually. Several people refuse to confront her lying ways. Doing so enables her to continue in her sin, whereas, loving confrontation may lead her to repent for her sins.

I think women fall into this trap too often because we have such a hard time saying “no” when we are asked to do something. Keep in mind that when we refuse to say “no,” sometimes we hinder God’s plan for someone else. Perhaps what we just agreed to do was really a job God had planned for someone else. Yet, we just got in His way.

Is there someone who seems to be drawn to you like a magnet, constantly needing spiritual advice? Perhaps they discern you are a person of the Word, so they seek you instead of the Word because they are too lazy to seek God on their own. By letting them continue in their behavior, we become enablers. We may also be co-dependent; for we may love the way they make us feel when they seek our wisdom. Often, one feeds the other. We enable the behavior because it makes us feel good to be needed.

David asked the Lord to search his heart. I think it is wise to ask the Lord to also search our relationships. Perhaps we will discover that we have become spiritual enablers.

Have you fallen into the trap of being an enabler?

© 2007, Stacy R. Miller

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