I am back in blog land. I have written all about our adventures the past few days at my other blog. This entry is going to be about the spiritual side of my adventures. To fully understand what I'm saying, it would be better to read the other story first, it will make more sense.
As some of you are aware, through stresses and things years ago, I started dealing with some panic attacks. I usually get them the most when I feel lots of expectations on me and my fear of disappointing others comes on strong. That happened Sunday night. I had my sister here, and with others spending the night, I might get a little anxious, with my sister that usually doesn't happen, and it didn't this time. But as the night progressed, my stomach started to not feel good. Being away from the house when I have to use the bathroom a lot, is usually the other trigger to my panic attacks. So as my stomach started to not feel good, I started to get nervous. The 'what if's' started. What if I get sick, what if I can't get Carrie to the doctor, what if I can't get to a bathroom while we were out? All of this as I'm trying to fall asleep. That's when Sarah came in and told me that Paulie was throwing up. So as we were cleaning things up, and then after I got back into bed, of course the worrying started coming back. I started praying. This time though, which I couldn't believe I even did this, I said, "OK Lord, You are in control. So if I get sick or Paulie or whatever and I can't get Carrie to the doctor, it's o.k., because You are in control." Wow, that was truly from the Lord, not anything from me at all. So I tried to keep my focus on Him, knowing that if it didn't go the way we had planned, it would be o.k., because He was still in control. The Lord got me to sleep, and though I knew I would only have about 4 1/2 hours of sleep, something that is not good for me at all, He was still in control. Even if things went absolutely horrible, missed appointments, sickness, lack of sleep, He was in control and He was my strength. He got me through the night, and the following day, and I was completely blessed by that. And I give all the glory and honor to Him for it. Because truly none of it was me. That's not how I usually am, and though I try to keep my focus on Him, usually part of the 'focusing' is going over the problems again and again 'with the Lord'. But it's usually just me worrying again and again.
So I'm blessed, blessed that the Lord got me through Sunday night. Blessed that He is in control. And blessed that He loves me.
It's good to be back in blogland. I've missed everyone, and I feel like I've been gone for so long. I am going to work on trying to get caught up with all of you. Thanks again for all your prayers and concern. It was nice to come back on and see the notes and comments. Thank you very much.
Praise the Lord! I am so blessed by your story JoAnn. Many will be. I have never had a panic attack, but I do get that uneasy stressed out feeling knowing I have expectations on me. And I hate it! Bless you, my friend. Talk to you tomorrow! Good night. I am glad I checked my computer one last time tonight.
Jenn
I totally understand the IBS worries. Been there many times. I had panic attacks for a little while many years ago. No fun at all. I wasn't trusting God and was under a ton of stress.
That is such a testimony. Feelings are "out." It's the choice that matters, right? Acknowledging that God is in control really is the only way to deal with life sometimes. (My book coming out the first day of jury duty--I felt overwhelmed at not being home for 2 weeks, with all the marketing that is expected, the postcards, the this, the that....) but I just thought, "The Lord knew and His timing is OK." So I'm right with you, Joann! Celebrate victory!
I am glad all is well with you. I was so blessed reading how you totally gave all the control to the Lord. It is amazing what peace that brings when we finally do that. I am sorry I haven't gotten over here sooner. I find it hard to get on the computer from Saturday to Monday. You are always on my heart and prayers. I hope to talk sometime SOON. I miss you.
Sending Blessings and ((hugs)) my SSiC
In Him<><
-Mary
What good news! I have been through some of that myself and know how hard it can be just to REMEMBER to trust the Lord. He was good to remind you. Your son getting sick might have been a good distraction. I usually get up and try to do something if I wake up with anxiety. Otherwise, I lay in bed and get worse and worse.
Glory to God! As a fellow "panic attack" battle soldier, I so understand the feelings you are writing about. And praise Him that you were able to push through the feelings and let go to Him. I truly understand how challenging that can be in times like those. You go girl! We are stronger than we know.
I had problems with worry and anxiety in the past. This hit home with, for my last post sitting at Feet, when I talked about a family member problem, I almost had anxiety attack. Yes, the truth is He is our only source of hope and peace.
((((hugs))))
Katia
This blog is so I can share my journey with the Lord, my journey as a wife and mother, and my journey as a homeschool mom. I pray that you will see the Lord in my life through happy and sad times, and that this blog glorifies the Lord.
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