Paulie's cold is almost gone, and school yesterday went smooth. I cut the guys' hair last night, and it's actually getting quicker to do. Since it's just a buzz cut for both of them, but they have two different lengths. I've been doing this now regularly for a few months, and it is getting easier. Then, I chose to do something I haven't done in a very, very, long time (so long I can't remember the last time I did this), I turned off the computer, didn't even bother to check emails or blogs first, and watched a movie with my hubby. We had a nice time together, enjoying one of our favorite movies and laughing a lot. The only time I went on the computer was after the movie to find a good steak marinade recipe. It felt good to not be on it for a while.
Then this morning we get up, Paul turns on the computer before he heads to men's bible study, and the internet isn't working. OK, lets not panic, this has happened before. I do my usual 'fixes' and nothing. So I call my provider, and there is no message saying there is an outage in our area. So tech support starts walking me through all the things to try and fix it. After about 30 minutes on the phone with her she says, "Something is wrong with your modem, so you need to take it back to the store, hopefully its still under warranty, have them do a circuit check. If it's not that, then they need to give you a new modem." What?!?!? We've only had this modem for 5 months, how can it have gone out yet. Wait! 5 months, I pull out the receipt, yep warranty has expired. So if it is the modem, it will cost $80.00 for a new one.
So I walk away from the computer, thinking, well maybe I do need a break. I get the steaks marinating, do some other things then get my morning going. Paul comes home and we start talking about our budget. Truly, we do not have $80.00 just laying around to get a new modem with. So we are trying to figure out if there is anywhere we can get it from. And, not believing these words are coming out of my mouth, I say, "Let's just forget about it. We'll go back to dial-up, and we'll use that free one with 10 hours a month of internet time." My husband just looked at me . I assured him I was o.k., and that no, I wasn't going to be happy about it, but that it wasn't worth taking money out of the food budget or some other part of our budget for it. And I really did feel that way. There was almost a 'relief' feeling if we did get dial-up, because then I would have a reason, or an excuse, not to have to be on the internet all the time. Yes, that told me a lot about myself today. So we continued talking about it, came up with some plans and ideas. We started the kids on their lunch early so we could go to the store to at least have it looked at, and I checked the internet one more time. It was on!!!!!! What!!! The tech told me the only issue it could be was my modem, so how could it be back on? I check it again and sure enough we have internet.
So now I'm upset with the tech I spoke with. I call them again, and there is an automated message saying there is an internet outage in my area. I talked to a tech to file a complaint. I was very nice on the phone, but I made it abundantly clear that the tech had me almost at the store buying an $80.00 modem because she said that was the ONLY issue it could be. The thought that it was some issue on their end was not a possibility. I just happened to call before their computers were signaled that there was an outage. So because her computer didn't say there was an outage, it meant that it was our modem. Ugh. Talk about being hooked on only what the computer says. And I understand internet outages and such, I wasn't upset with that at all. If I had called, and that was the issue, it wouldn't have even bothered me. But the fact that she told me it could only be my modem, that was upsetting. I lodged my complaint, and let it go. It's just not worth staying angry about it.
But between last night and this morning it did show me some issues with the computer, I need to learn to let myself not be on it, and be o.k. with it. I know we all deal with different issues on the computer, not having enough time to check our blogs or lounge nooks, get lost on rabbit trails, things like that. But my biggest issue it seems? That I feel guilty if I'm NOT on the computer. I know, goofy sounding. But I feel like I'm letting all my friends down if I don't give cute little hellos and such on our blogs and nooks. Or that I will loose some friends if I don't blog everyday, and check their blogs everyday. It's like with my IRL friends I know to keep the friendship alive and growing, you need to put time into it. You need to call them, spend time with them, pray for them etc.... Which is what I want to do with all my internet friends. But for some reason I feel I HAVE to do that everyday with my internet friends, or I'll loose friendships. Even though I don't call my IRL friends every single day. So last night and today has opened my eyes to a guilt I was dealing with that I didn't even know I was dealing with. I'll be giving it to the Lord, and if there are a couple of days that I might not be around, just know its o.k. I'm giving myself permission to do other things. And I know that all of you, my blog friends, will still be around. And I will still be around for you, maybe just not every day, or as much every day. Oh, and just to let you know, I had talked with Paul last night, and he doesn't think I'm on the computer too much. He said he would let me know if he thought I was.
So, to make an already long post longer, let me tell you about my woman's bible study on Thursday night. It was great. One more new lady showed up, which was nice. The study was great, the prayer time awesome, and the fellowship fabulous. We had some snacks afterward, and as we all started walking out the door, I started chatting with the leader of the group. We ended up going back inside her house and chatting for about 45 minutes. It was so great. Just getting to know each other, fellowshipping, encouraging. Oh what a blessing. And it turns out her daughter and Sarah are in the same church class on Saturday nights. Well, every other Saturday night. They teach children's church ever other Saturday, and their daughter goes to class. So I had met her daughter before. It was great to actually be meeting some people there, and getting to know more. Plus, the kids are making friends which we have been praying for. I will actually see my friend tonight at church, because she teaches the children tonight. I know it sounds weird, but I'm excited that I'll actually be able to say hi to people in church. So I am blessed that the Lord continues to bring me around people and allowing us to meet new people. Thank you Lord.
So I am off to go to church, and I don't know if I'll be back on this weekend. I'll just have to wait and see. I am going to continue to tell myself I do not need to be on every spare minute of every day. That I can do other things, and that it's o.k. to do other things. That I won't loose friends, and if I do, that's still o.k., because the Lord is in control. Thanks for sticking with me through another long, rambling post. You are all sweet.
You put what I sometimes think into words. Thank you. I sometimes feel completely overwhelmed with all the things I have to read on the 'net. And I feel guilty for not commenting, or even for deleting emails sometimes--emails I haven't even read (not personal ones).
Hi JoAnn,
Yesterday I purposed in my heart to leave the computer off the entire day. We were having the Lord's Supper last night, and I just didn't want to be distracted by blog things and emails. Not that I am super-spiritual. I was just feeling like an alcoholic, who says he can quit drinking any time, but never does. So I did it. Yay!! I made it through one day without the computer, and I didn't even get the shakes. Though I did wander around a few times, like I was lost, lol. One of my girls told me she liked it without the computer all day (even though she asked me 100 times if she could turn it on), because I gave the kids more attention and wasn't distracted while they were asking for math help (blush). Now I am thinking about doing it maybe three days a week. It's terrible to be controlled by this thing.
Sally
Hi Joann. I totally understand your need to not comment everyday. I can't even update my blog that often! I really appreciate how kind you've been to me. You encouraged me to stay with this thing even when I felt like giving up. You take a break, but stop in every once in awhile - I'll miss hearing from you if you don't!
Thanks for stopping by and thanks for all the prayers. This morning, I read my B&B blog post to my spouse and we both cried. He didn't remember much of the experience which I guess was a good thing. He is hoping to be allowed back to work this week. As a firefighter, he has to pass a physical workout before he can return to duty and he wasn't allowed to jog nor do situps till tomorrow.
I'm just so happy that he's still with me!
As for your post on the computer, I totally understand the pull of the screen. I have my days feeling the same way. I truly appreciate your friendship and thank you for your prayers. The Lord answered them.
There is freedom when we allow our selves to hear His small voice, even if it's from a computer tech's mistake ;)
I hear you on this, you already know my story on this....I started by not blogging on the weekends...... At first I felt so guilty and still do, but not as much....I guess I feel guilt for not feeling as guilt LOL
I'm so happy you have been enjoying your Bible study and to make new friends, how wonderful!
You won't loose me girlfriend, we are friends for life. We have a mother/daughter team going on here ;)
((((hugs))))
Katia
P.S. About my question yesterday, I found a solution, and we had to leave in a hurry, sorry I didn't get to get on after they signed off.
You said a mouthful and a 1/2. I get caught up in it all too. I am starting to just go certain places each day. That seems to be better. I totally know where your coming from. I just don't want to give it all up. Some of it, yea. Some of it, no. Glad you didn't spend the $80. I just spent $65 on a new modem.
Hugs,
Chrsity
I think it's great that you are realizing these things about your computer time.
After the surgery I spent A LOT of time on the computer and I am having to force myself to not be on it too much now that I am getting back to normal life. So I kind of understand what you are saying. It is rough, but important. Keep it up!
Start a new knitting project to keep your mind off the computer :o) !
Wow... That is a hard decision to accept. I struggle with this all the time. Computer time sucks all my free time. I get bothered by that, but love my friends. Hmmm... Let me know what you end up doing. I'll help you pray for your peace of mind.
This blog is so I can share my journey with the Lord, my journey as a wife and mother, and my journey as a homeschool mom. I pray that you will see the Lord in my life through happy and sad times, and that this blog glorifies the Lord.
This is an award and tag free zone, thank you.
didn't even bother to check emails or blogs first, and watched a movie with my hubby. 
We had a nice time together, enjoying one of our favorite movies and laughing a lot. The only time I went on the computer was after the movie to find a good steak marinade recipe. It felt good to not be on it for a while.
OK, lets not panic, this has happened before. I do my usual 'fixes' and nothing. So I call my provider, and there is no message saying there is an outage in our area. So tech support starts walking me through all the things to try and fix it. After about 30 minutes on the phone with her she says, "Something is wrong with your modem, so you need to take it back to the store, hopefully its still under warranty, have them do a circuit check. If it's not that, then they need to give you a new modem." 
So if it is the modem, it will cost $80.00 for a new one.
. I assured him I was o.k., and that no, I wasn't going to be happy about it, but that it wasn't worth taking money out of the food budget or some other part of our budget for it. And I really did feel that way. There was almost a 'relief' feeling if we did get dial-up, because then I would have a reason, or an excuse, not to have to be on the internet all the time. Yes, that told me a lot about myself today. So we continued talking about it, came up with some plans and ideas. We started the kids on their lunch early so we could go to the store to at least have it looked at, and I checked the internet one more time. It was on!!!!!! 
with the tech I spoke with. I call them again, and there is an automated message saying there is an internet outage in my area. I talked to a tech to file a complaint. I was very nice on the phone, but I made it abundantly clear that the tech had me almost at the store buying an $80.00 modem because she said that was the ONLY issue it could be. The thought that it was some issue on their end was not a possibility. I just happened to call before their computers were signaled that there was an outage. So because her computer didn't say there was an outage, it meant that it was our modem. Ugh. Talk about being hooked on only what the computer says. And I understand internet outages and such, I wasn't upset with that at all. If I had called, and that was the issue, it wouldn't have even bothered me. But the fact that she told me it could only be my modem, that was upsetting. I lodged my complaint, and let it go. It's just not worth staying angry about it.
Oh, and just to let you know, I had talked with Paul last night, and he doesn't think I'm on the computer too much. He said he would let me know if he thought I was.
