First, let me say Happy New Year to you all. We had a great New Year's Eve at our house. We had a family over that we are getting to know more and more and they are such a blessing to us. Their kids and ours played for hours, and us adults played a board game too. We all made it to midnight, and though we didn't have a countdown to watch on tv, we had a countdown clock on the computer and fun doing our own countdown. The weather was nice, so they made it home safely. Today has been a very lazy day, and I'm grateful for that. Besides the fact that I pulled some muscles in my back this morning, we are all doing good. And yes, just to let you know, I am doing fine. I am resting on the couch with my laptop and my family taking care of me. I'll be good as new in a day or two.
So everyone has been posting their goals, resolutions and challenges on their blogs, and I will admit I am so very hesitant, lets say down right scared to even make any goals, let alone post them on my blog. I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the past few years I have become overcome with anxiety about letting people down and not doing things 'right'. So with those issues that I am dealing with, I've stopped making goals or taking challenges from others. Because if I make goals then I can fail and not live up to my goal. If I fail, I feel like a failure and that I've let people down and that I've done things wrong. And that's exactly what I don't want to do. So what has been my solution? Not to make any goals at all. That way I don't feel guilty when I don't do what I 'should' be doing, and that way I don't let anyone down when I don't achieve my goals. And then the other issue I deal with is if I make goals, if I say I'm going to do this or that, am I leaving the Lord out of it? I mean, I can pray about what goals to make, and think this is what the Lord has for me, but what if it's not what He has for me? What if I'm so intent on accomplishing my 'goals' that I don't hear or pay attention to the Lord directing me in a different direction. And if He's going to direct me in a different direction, then why bother making goals in the first place. I mean, why even list them if it's not what the Lord has for me anyway. Does any of that make sense?
I think the biggest thing about all that I deal with is that I miss making goals. I use to always like having a list of things I wanted to accomplish. I liked having goals in mind of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. But again, I've gotten so disappointed because what I wanted or goals I made wasn't what the Lord had for me, and I would get bummed about that, for two reasons. One, that I didn't get to do what I wanted, but the second reason is because it made me feel like I wasn't hearing from the Lord. I would start questioning my walk with Him, if I couldn't hear Him with something as simple as a few goals in my life, then how could I know I was hearing Him with bigger issues. So I just stopped making them all together. And I haven't had any goals for years, and I don't know that that has been the best thing either. So what to do, what to do.
Well, I've been thinking about a few things I want to accomplish this year (notice how I didn't say goals ), and I would like to share them. But this entry is already getting a little big, so I'll end it here. I'll make my list of things I want to accomplish in another entry, that way if I don't want everyone to see it, I don't have to post it. Thanks for listening to my ramblings over the past year, and listening to the ramblings that is beginning this year. You are all dear to me, thank you.
This blog is so I can share my journey with the Lord, my journey as a wife and mother, and my journey as a homeschool mom. I pray that you will see the Lord in my life through happy and sad times, and that this blog glorifies the Lord.
This is an award and tag free zone, thank you.
), and I would like to share them. But this entry is already getting a little big, so I'll end it here. I'll make my list of things I want to accomplish in another entry, that way if I don't want everyone to see it, I don't have to post it. 
Thanks for listening to my ramblings over the past year, and listening to the ramblings that is beginning this year. You are all dear to me, thank you.
