Ok, mandygrace - this is for you!

24 favorites - posted on sonlight a few months back.  you probably won't get it if you don't watch the tv show 24. It's one of my favorites and apparently mandy likes it too.....that and lost right? You DO know I'm in Hawaii where they film Lost right? I have cool pictures.....well, on to 24. I bolded the ones I like the most.


1. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
2. If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken but Jack Bauer says its beef...then it's beef.
3. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
4. Don't beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife.
5. Nobody tells Jack Bauer what to do. There is a right way, a wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but a lost faster and with more deaths.
6. When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24 ..."
7. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
8. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?
9. Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
10. In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"
11. During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.
12. When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
13. People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
14. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
15. If Jack Bauer shot you while quail hunting it wouldn't be an accident.
16. Jack Bauer removed the "escape" button from his keyboard; Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
17. The only difference between Jack Bauer and the electric chair is that Jack Bauer makes you talk first.
18. Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
19. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
20. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
21. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
22. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
23. Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
24. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
25. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
26. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
27. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
28. Let's get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
29. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
30. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
31. No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a sissy" in a sentence and lived to tell.
32. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
33. As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
34. Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
35. Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
36. Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
37. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
38. If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with.

Another friend at sonlight posted these:

The leading cause of death among middle eastern men is Jack Bauer.

When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things
happen to bad people, it's probably Jack Bauer.

When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

After Season 6 of 24, the Chinese will be on the Endangered Species List.

Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four
billion rounds of ammunition.

Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a
table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where
I want them."

ok, so are you laughing yet?

Marie

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