Do any of you feel at times like you are all alone. It's one of those days for me.

I'm feeling lonely. Friends I have are going back to work, or are about to have babies and are too busy and tired to hang out with me. I've tried to invite people over here to hang out with me and I'm tired of being turned down. I've been crying all morning.  To make things worse Thomas' birthday is tomorrow. Our church is having a function so we decided to not have his party then because we knew people wouldn't come. We picked Friday night and apparently the church is having a staff party. Which includes 3 families that Thomas is friends with. There might not be anyone who actually shows up to his party!

I'm just feeling unimportant right now. It's more challenging to take the kids out and about and do things but I'm willing to do that if people would want to get together with me. If they wanted to come over here I'd be happy to cook for people and stuff. I just want to have friends. I'm tired of hearing people say they can't come over....and then sometimes I hear those same people talking at church with others about how much fun they had doing x together...

I hate cliques. (Is that how you splel it) I want to be friends with people who don't have kids, people who's kids are older then mine, people who are grandparents...I don't care of the ages! I think it's important to have friends of all ages and learn from each other. Apparently not many people feel this way because what I see is people only hanging out with people like them. I love my kids alot. But I don't see how having kids should make it such that I should only have friends with those who have kids.

It's even more then that at times. in our MOPs group (moms of kids under 5) we are trying to figure out how to deal with this. I'm on leadership this year. It's a big group and we meet together for the talk and craft time but we break the ladies up into 5-6 groups of 15 moms for the year. When people find out they aren't in the same group as their friend they start switching groups. I've always thought that's kinda sad.

My hubby's work (graduate school) is real good at including everyone. They send out invitations and don't seem to mind when we show up with kids in tow! Some of them even come to the kids birthday parties! There are times when parties aren't appropriate for kids and so we usually don't go - but having the option of attending is cool. We could get a babysitter if we really thought the event was something to go with.

I want someone I can share my life with - my families, goals, etc. I don't care if they are exactly like me. I just want some friends. I am SO tired of the interaction I have during any given day be only with my kids or hubby. Am I supposed to just deal with it? Is it unrealistic to have some girl friends - much less ones that may be in different life stages then me? I had one friend like that and she moved away. I miss her a lot. Sigh

ETA: As if I don't feel like enough of a leper I'm wondering whether posting this is going to help or make me feel even more sad.

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