It is pouring rain outside.  And I feel it fits my mood. 

I am not depressed about the Asperger's "diagnosis"...  at least, I do not think I am.  I am actually very relieved to find out that there is indeed an answer to the questions I have been tossing around almost all of Jordan's life and that it is not just that I have done some hidden thing wrong that I cannot figure out in training this child.  I feel very hopeful and I am feel strongly that IF it is indeed Asperger's that it is a milder case, b/c he doesn't fit all the criteria.  (or some of the criteria he USED to fit he does not any more...  I think due to all of our hard work with him!)

I am also thankful that I live in a day and age where he is not just "written off", but there are many resources available to me to help him!

I felt very validated actually and I have told Jordan all along that he does not need to be "cured"...  that I just need to learn more about how he learns so that I can be a better teacher and mother to him. 

Anyway, with all that said...  (and oddly...  everytime I try to type up about all the "labels" Jordan now has and their meanings, I accidentally delete it!  So I am NOT going to try again for now...  I am just going to leave it as it is!)

But I am, nonetheless, feeling down.  I am not PMSing...  that should have been last week, but it I didn't really feel grouchy when I might have (sometimes I do, but when I am taking good care of my body I often feel just fine), but yesterday, my stress level just began to rise and rise and rise and finally I started yelling.  I used to yell all the time...  on and off throughout the entire day...  everyday, but now I don't do that.  I raise my voice daily still, but not the tirades.  But yesterday I had a mini-tirade.  I even THREW my new pedometer b/c I could not figure out how to set it. 

I went to bed early b/c I just felt like going to sleep...  that is NOT like me. 

I woke up at 4:30 feeling wide awake, but didn't want to climb out of my warm bed that early and finally fell back to sleep and then had a hard time getting up at 6:30 when I was "supposed to". 

The children are all set for the morning...  dressed, fed, hair done, rooms straightened.  We had our morning devotions and an abbreviated prayer (ran out of time) and the 3 ps children caught the bus in the nick of time and then I graded Kaitlyn and Jordan's school work from yesterday and set them up with today's assignments. 

Now I am sitting here in my pajamas!!!!  (also not like me) and Kaitlyn is doing her reading comprehension (struggling with a poem that she does not understand) and Jordan is working on subtraction with 2 or more regroupings required.

There are only 18 more days of public school counting today.  I cannot wait for them all to be home again, but these next three weeks are going to be super CRAZY! 

Tonight there is an open house at the school from 5:30-7 and Kaitlyn has another ballet class tonight at 7PM.  (We MIGHT skip this class!)

Upcoming:  A birthday party for a friend's baby on Saturday, Early dance classes on Memorial Day (one of them a dress rehearsal), my turn to drive the little girls' ballet carpool next Wednesday...  which will be a dress rehearsal and that will fall to me for all FOUR little girls!  (I am thankful Kaitlyn will be there to help!), Then, the following week there are dress rehearsals, finale rehearsals, and extra classes.  They are all in Part A of the recital.  There are 49 songs in Part A!!!!  (and just as many in Part B, but thankfully all three of our dances are in the same Part of the show!)  We have tickets to watch the Saturday performance and I will help back stage during the Sunday performance.  The Saturday performance is at 1 PM on June 10th and several of our friends will be coming to see it!  The Sunday performance is at 5PM on June 11th. 

The week after recital is pictures.  (Hopefully, their costumes will still be clean AFTER recital!)  Kaitlyn has pictures on the Tuesday after recital at 5PM for one class and 7:30 PM for another class.  Hannah's pictures are at 1:45 on that Thursday.  So, lots more rearranging to do to accomodate all of that.  The next day after Hannah's pictures is the last day of public school!!!!!  It is a half day! 

Maybe I feel down b/c I feel overwhelmed by the scheduling and the expenses that I know are coming up...  (need:  hairspray, hair net to help put Kaitlyn's hair in a "perfect" bun for ballet, need more soft rollers for Hannah's hair so she can have the tight spiral curls her class is supposed to wear, etc. , etc. , etc.)

AND...  does any one have tips for meals that can be packed or eaten in the car on those nights when we have rehearsals and pictures and stuff from 5:00 on into 7:30?  We live 40 minutes from the dance studio.  So, a lot of these nights go through dinner time.  I cannot afford (physically OR financially) to do Mc D

s and other fast food.  But I can't stand the idea of peanut butter sandwhiches that many times in a row either.  Any suggestions????  PLEASE!!!!!!

Wow...  this post is getting really long and probably extremely boring.  I had a lot to

download after my long "silence"! 

Keep me in your prayers if you think of it!  :)

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