How much QUIET do you expect during school hours? 

 

Most of the time, I don't mind the talking, squealing and laughing, but when they are all working on an assignment, I really would like total quiet in the room or at VERY least only necessary whispering.  I can't concentrate and I am sure some of them cannot concentrate with everyone talking away! 

 

I sound like I have sprung a leak most mornings.  I am saying "Shhh!", "Shhh!", "Shhh!"  over and over again!  Finally, I usually holler, "STOP TALKING!"  And they do, for a few minutes and before you know it they are at it again.  AM I BEING TO STRICT?

 

Today, (well for a few days now) I have had a headache and the talking is really bothering me.  I am trying not to be a mean momy about it, but it really is frustrating.  If they would all just be quiet and focus I am sure they would finish their work faster too! 

 

I listened to a tape about homeschooling ideas by Debi Pearl once and she talked about NOT being a "bully mom".  I am trying to take that advice to heart and not bully my children into obedience.

 

I don't think I am expecting too much work from them AT ALL, if anything, we are taking it VERY lightly this Summer, but they seem to need to talk ALL the time! 

 

Now, don't get me wrong...  I am only expecting quiet during the formal workbook time.  The rest of the time, I love to hear them singing softly to themselves, talking to each other, reading stories to one another, etc.  It is like a beautiful music to my ears, but I just feel that they would be able to focus better in a nice quiet room for just half an hour or so! 

 

Since I sat down to write this entry I have had to stop and correct the talking twice and even now Hannah is whispering to Kaitlyn.  Ian is kind of whispering too, but like he is reading to himself.  AARRRGH!

 

Please, tell me the truth...  I am being too strict?  How do those of you with multiple students deal with this? 

 

Oh...  another thing, I have a sewing room off the side of the school area and when I want a child to read out loud to me I take them in there with me.  When I do this, some of the other children stop working in the other room though.  Again, I feel if they could just keep at it, they would be able to accomplish so much more and I get to feeling so frustrated! 

 

Some mornings, I feel like I spend way more time correcting misbehavior than I do teaching actual school subjects.  I know that character is so very important and I do not miss any opportunity if I can help it, but good grief...  we have to get something bookish done at SOME point or another! 

 

Thanks for listening to my little "venting" session!  :) 

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Comments

Posted by Jn1512

I go through the same thing some days. I understand your frustration. You're fine. You have to have some level of orderliness in the room if you have them together. Some days we wind up seperating our two. Our son has a desk in his room and every so often he uses it. I do that instead of "bully". If he is distracting his sister he cannot be in the same room with her, and vice versa. It's about logical consequences and consistency. He's done much better since I starting handling it that way. Hang in there and don't despair. Be glad your kids LIKE to talk with one another and are friends. That is a blessing! :)

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Posted by AcceptanceWithJoy

What are your kids talking about? If it is about what they are learning, their chatter might indeed reflect their own learning style. Marissa chats all day long. Every thought she has is expressed. It is as if, by speaking the thoughts out loud they get stored properly in her brain.

We have been reading The Iliad and when it is her turn to read, she stops sometimes several times a minute to process what is being said outloud. Since I only have one child right now and by the time the next two are school age, Marissa will be done, so I have let her bounce her ideas off me as needed. She doesn't like reading at this level at all. Every once in awhile she will just talk to complain about how hard the particular book is to understand. But, hard or not, she does "get it." So, we perservere.

It does annoy me though. I do not learn like that ~ her stopping to think out loud, makes it hard for me to stay focused... and it makes our reading one book take an incredible amount of time.

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Posted by Tiany

I think I might need to get a hold of that tape! I think I too often fall under the "Bully mom " category and detest it of myself. I guess it is something I too need to be more aware of.

I can’t offer much advice just yet as "quite" is non existent in my home unless its nap time from 1 to 3 pm :-) Praying your headache goes away!

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Posted by dawilli

I wish I had some great advice... my children have gotten really loud the past year or two... just loud in general... I had the boys' hearing checked to make sure it wasn't that, I'm not even kidding! They don't whisper to each other, they yell at each other, ugh!
But we are fortunate that it isn't much of a problem when they're working on schoolwork, just any other time, especially when I'm on the phone!?! (my shrieking girls!)
We are working on it, but I too am on a quest for great ideas!
ali

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Posted by giggles3

I so know how you feel about just needing the quiet.
I don't have any advice at this time though because I am still trying to figure out how to get my kiddos to be quiet while doing book work. Of course my oldest is the only one doing book work at this time, the other two like to make a lot more noise when I am working with the older.
I blame all the talking loud (and doing it constantly) on my hubby, he comes from a loud Italian family and I come from a quiet laid back family.
I will and am praying for you right at this moment, that the Lord will take your headache from you and give you wisdom in knowing how to fix this frustration.
Love ya and hope you have a better day :O) {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Christina

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Posted by tiredmom

If I have to tell a child/children to be quiet a couple of times, I give a reasonable time to have the assignment finished and then if it's not done they get an extra chore. I tell them that if you don't study, you will have no choice but to take a manual labor type job, so you may as well practice on my toilet today!

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Posted by CTdittmar

As a former classroom teacher, I think it is certainly reasonable to expect a period of quiet for concentrated individual work time. Don't be afraid to use separation techniques. I don't think that would be considered bullying. : )

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Posted by hskubes

Ah, quietness... what is that again?
I love quietness... I desire quietness... I miss quietness...
and one day (when my children are grown) I know that I will get the quietness I've longed wanted, yet it won't be as satisfying as I sometimes imagine.
I empathize with the noise level. As much as I had hoped to avoid it, we are, indeed, a pretty loud family. Hubby has that loud military voice, I, unfortuneately and am working on, have a louder voice "inherited" by my family, and the children are prone to speak in loud volumes as well. I find myself often saying "Ya'll don't need to yell it, they're right in front of you." *Ü* I, too, am very sensitive to the noise. I sometimes would find myself with headaches and definately it would hurt my ears. But as with all things in parenting, I am learning to deal, cope, accept, and even change some things.
The greatest thing I would recommend is seeking the Lord first and foremost in the morning (and throughout the day). I ask Him to help me see where my perspective is wrong, to forgive me, to change me, to enable me to keep a meek and quiet spirit, though there often seems to be no quietness in my home. Ask Him to show you what you need to do, what you need to say, how you need to train. Pray for your headaches before they come. Ask Him to heal you of them and be confident that He will.
Also, if you drink coffee, tea, or soda in the morning, I would recommend limiting yourself to only a couple of cups and stay hydrated with lots of water. In addition, be sure you're getting enough sleep.
I've also noticed, that if I'm at the computer in the morning or too much, that makes me prone to headaches and I'm definately less tolerant to noise. Sometimes what I need to do is stay off the computer and really focus on my children... especially in the morning.
In regards to the children...
I would not be afraid to separate them when needed so they can accomplish their tasks. If separating them isn't really an option, then I would sit with all of them, tell them that they will sit quietly and do 'such and such' . I would give them a specific brief time (like start with 5 minutes - or even 2 minutes with younger ones). Set the timer and stick to it. When the timer goes off... let them talk for a while and then try it again later. However, as part of the training process, if a child does not obey during that timed quietness, they should be disciplined, corrected, re-told what is required, and made to do it again. But I think that quietness should be kept to a brief time.
During the times of quietness training, be sure not to be pre-occupied with anything else. I would sit or stand right there, being quiet myself, showing them exactly what you expect. Sometimes I have the children physically hold their lips for a couple of minutes so that they understand what is meant by quietness. It is done in a gentle, loving fashion. I do it, too. I think that is key... don't require of a child what we aren't willing to do ourselves. I also think it's important to lead by example.
At other times when there seems to be a lot of noise or loudness throughout the house, send them outside and let them 'get it out'. If they can't go outside and all else fails... put 1/2 a cottonball in each ear and let them play. *Ü*

Prayer, water, training, deep breaths, cottonballs....
By God's grace, you can do it. *Ü*

My husband once said when he came home from work and we weren't home, that it was too quiet without the children there. I was surprised and said I thought he would enjoy the quietness... I was wrong. He said he would much rather have the noise of his children than not.

Do what you can, but other than that... embrace the noise. You'll (we'll) miss it one day.

~ Praying for you ~

~ Christina
HsKubes HomeSchool Haven
HsKubes Haven for Home
Christian Military HomeSchool Mamas

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Posted by lonestaracademy

one solution that I find "helps" the situation is this. I roughly schedule a certain amount of time for each schedule. If we are in the meat of something and we "go over" our time then we just go over. However if the kids are doing their sit down work and end up goofing off, talking, etc. then if thye don't get their school work done then it is set aside and they have to complete it during their freetime. If it isn't completed by the time we get back to class the next day then they get points taken off. This solution has saved me tons of time being the bullymommy. Instead they know what they have to do and they know ahead of time the consequence of not doing it.

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