Dear Christina,

I've been thinking about your earlier email.  You said there's only so much time and you're getting worried there isn't enough time to get it all done.  I understand! 

This is what helps me:

    I believe that God created our children with a purpose and a desire to know Him.  Just as the roses or any flower for that matter blooms given the proper amount of water, sun, and the right mixture of dirt, so our children will bloom.  We can't MAKE a flower bloom.  To try to force it open would be to destroy it.  Only God knows which flower our child will be and when it will bloom, it is for us to provide the right environment in which it can grow.  To me, that means an environment full of love.  God IS love, pure and simple.  That is what we must pass on to our children.  And I know I cannot love my children as I should.  I ask God on a daily basis to love my children through me.  I remind myself daily that if every act, thought, and deed of mine throughout the day was thought or done in love, I would have it made.  Unfortunately I am human and that is where my struggle lies, in dying to myself and living to serve God and others.  I guess what I am saying is that I believe that God has done more to homeschool my kids than I have.  Some of them may not be the best students either but I say, so what?  I'm not preparing them for college, I'm preparing or nurturing them to be who God created them to be.  I don't expect all of my children to go to college.  I think it is just another school environment we are taught is a necessity when it isn't.  Justin still struggles immensely and I just hope he graduates from high school.  However, he will probably end up in the trades.  He loves going to work with Troy and hanging doors or putting on towel bars.  God created Justin and has a plan for him.  If Justin wants a career and college is a necessity, I see Justin having to spend a good year or two going back to fill in the gaps just in order to get into college.  But, he'll be motivated to do so at that point.  And there is nothing wrong that I can see to wait a couple of years or more to go to college.  We don't have to live within the culture's time schedule.  So what if they take an extra year or two to graduate?  On the other side of things, Justin excells in the church youth group!  He is one of the few who truly know their faith and can defend it well.  He isn't caught up in silly relationships with girls at the point.  God is truly important to Justin and it is his own faith, not mine or Troy's.  He has been asked to be on the core team (leadership team) for the junior high group.  I have heard that it is quite an honor to be asked to join the core team.  I am so proud of him, he has everything that counts.  The things he lacks which are so important to the world are really not as important as we are led to believe I think.   Much of his learning is from tv (history channel, science channel, military channel, discovery channel, etc.)  He learns very visually too.  I HATE the tv but I've learned it works so well for Justin and amazingly I catch the little ones watching shows like, How Things Are Made, Dirty Jobs, Planet Earth, etc.  Each of my children learn so differently and so I sit back and watch them learn rather than teach them.  I show them where to find the answers, we have lots and lots of books, take regular trips to the library, subscribe to interesting magazines, and I do provide them with math curriculum and choices for a combined Religion/History selection.  They have chosen to learn to type, learn Spanish, and they all LOVE to write.  I have not taught them English.  They have learned from a workshop here and there, from reading a lot, and when asked to I critique their writing.  Sometimes they just want to write and sometimes they want me to critique it.  They are not geniuses, but my kids are excellent writers.  They write stories, poems, songs, novels.  Cecely is still trying very hard to tell time on a non-digital watch and she is 11.  But she will sit at the piano for hours and create her own songs, write each note on paper, figure out the harmony, and play it until perfected.  She writes beautiful songs!  For Cecely, she will probably always needs a digital watch, but that's okay.  Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have sat back and watched my kids.  I fuel their passions, help out when they ask (mom, how do you spell?, or what does an A look like?, why is the sky blue?), and provide a very stimulating and interesting, and God centered environment.  They ALL love to learn and are always learning.  I'm sure Justin knows more than many college students even though he would be a very poor college student.  At some point he may need to learn those skills, but in due time.  There is plenty of it!  It's our culture that puts us a particular schedule.  It's like well baby visits that are designed just so they can immunize our children when they want.  I say RELAX!!!!!!  Enjoy the kids!!!!  Have a lot of family fun!!!  They learned to talk without you "teaching" them in only 2 years as an INFANT!  Why do we think that at the age of 5, they suddenly need us to tell them they need to know why the sky is blue?  All we teach them is to learn only what they're taught.  We take away the joy of learning and leave them with schedules, standards, and deadlines.  But what do they learn by being homeschooled?  How to be peacemakers, productive citizens, team players, how to be fathers and mothers, they experience the nature of God within the family environment, they learn within an environment that is free of judgement and criticism but full of love and freedom.  They learn how to be of good character, unselfishness, the value of charity, etc.  Isn't that what life is all about? 

Anyways, I don't know if this is helpful to you and I kind of went on and on but that is what goes through my mind and frees me from worrying about the little time left. 

Love,

Kimberly