I remember looking at a picture on my Grandmother's wall with a man sitting before a small loaf of bread with his head bowed in prayer...wondering how Jesus could be in that little loaf and why it was important that we eat Him.  Silly thoughts of a child...or do some still wonder those same things?

I have not been able to make a decent loaf of bread since we moved into this house (in July 07).  I even resorted to just trying to use the bread machine and I still was messing it up some how.  So, I did what most people do when presented with such a frustration...I gave up!  I have found some great sales this fall on bread and haven't paid "too much" for the loaves I've been buying.  Yet, I was starting to miss the homemade loaves that come piping hot from my oven full of nutritional goodness.  So, as I munched on an empty tasting sandwich last week I decided that I would make yet another attempt when that loaf was gone. 

While I contemplated the idea of making a from scratch loaf of warm brown bread I thought of my dismal failures of late...too dense, rose beautifully and then fell, too gooey, and even the birds didn't eat the experimental loaf with seeds in it.  I did what any homemaker would do...I searched out a new recipe.  I considered several recipes and settled on Honey Wheat Bread.  Sounds Yummy!  It was obvious I had not baked in awhile as I started to make bread late on a Friday afternoon.  I usually find that it is best to bake early in the week mid-morning so that way we have all the mess cleaned up before daddy comes home and we are set with bread for the week (1 for now and 1 in the freezer). 

Well, it was worth the effort and I will definitely make this recipe again.  It probably won't be my weekly recipe because it takes a little longer and has some more costly ingredients (eggs, milk, and butter)  but it gave me the success I needed to get my courage back up.  I'm hoping to find the energy to start making more of our bread.  It is good for the kiddos, cheaper, fun, smells great, and tastes so much better than store stuff.  I do need to clarify though that with baby on the way we will probably not be back into our "only homemade baking" for awhile.  If I spot a good BOGO bread sale I think I may stock up for those times when I need to give myself some homemaker "grace". 

As I stretched my baking muscles again last week I was reminded of John 6 (I ran out of room to post the passage here, go read it sometime) when Jesus feeds the multitudes and then shares with them that He was the Bread of Life.  I love how God gives us pictures to remember the truths of Scripture.  There I was with my hands in the dough when I was reminded that Jesus needs to be my basic source of spiritual life.  What is bread?  The basic of all foods...every culture has some sort of bread they live on and most everyone I've ever met eats it (in some form).  So, what is my source of life?  What is included in my spiritual diet (empty calories or nutritious whole grains, something that took time and energy or something I picked up while getting the paper)?

I was also reminded what I love about this passage of Scripture.  We get so stuck on the Jesus is the Bread of Life idea that we miss how He admonishes the crowd.  He encourages them to seek the food that will not perish because He knows that many of them have followed Him only because they had been blessed with full bellies the day before.  They were not interested in spiritual food that would last, by producing spiritual growth in a life, but in seeing more signs or being the recipients of some miraculous blessing.  I imagine some of those in the crowd expected to see manna fall from heaven or wondered how this man would make Himself into bread (remember the picture on my grandma's wall).

I watched the dough hook knead my lovely wheat bread and I thought of how I fail to seek what will last, have a selfish heart, and try to cling to Scripture without considering context or truth.  I stand in the crowd and only want more bread for the moment rather than seeking Christ to meet the deep hunger of my soul.  I want an immediate fix to my current unpleasant situation (empty calories, fast food) rather than being a faithful and disciplined disciple that seeks what I need from the Master (eating the Bread of Life).  

So, I discovered once again that Jesus being the Bread of LIfe is no simple platitude that we can pass on in Christian conversation to mark ourselves as "well-versed".  It is a call to make a choice and to examine our hearts.  Are we receiving Christ as our life-giving supply from heaven?