Beauty for Ashes

At the foot of the cross

Where grace and suffering meet

You have shown me your love

through the judgment you received

And you’ve won my heart

Yes, you’ve won my heart

Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty

And wear forgiveness like a crown

Coming to kiss the feet of mercy

I lay every burden down

At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross

Where I am made complete

You have given me life

Through the death you bore for me

And You’ve won my heart

Yes, you’ve won my heart

Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty

And wear forgiveness like a crown

Coming to kiss the feet of mercy

I lay every burden down

At the foot of the cross

At the Foot of the Cross (Ashes for Beauty)

Kathryn Scott ~ Celtic Worship

I’ve had random thoughts on suffering this week as I have been processing the journey I’ve taken with my mom over the past five months.  I’ve watched, prayed, and counseled my dear mother as she poured the love of Christ out on her dying brother.  It has been hard.  It has been emotional.  It has been by the strength of Christ alone that we have persevered through caring and praying for an unsaved loved one with  terminal illness.  So, here are a few of the observations I’m mulling over.

The New Testament is full of references to the Redeemed having to suffer.  It is a part of this journey we walk in this life.  It is reality.  Trials and suffering shouldn’t be a shock to any serious believer or student of the Word.  Often we think the suffering mentioned in the Word only points to persecution or trials directly related to being marked as a Christ-follower.  There are also circumstances and situations that we are asked to endure such difficulties for our own growth and as a testimony to and for the growth others.  Don’t discount those things that you are asked to respond to with faith just because they don’t seem “big enough” to be noticeable.  God sees you and knows your pain as much as He sees those dealing with physical persecution around the world.  Each and every trial, burden, and suffering is seen, known, and sifted through the hands of a loving God.  He knows you.  He created you as a vessel for His glory.  He desires for you to grow; and He provides what you are lacking as you tackle every issue before, if you long to bring Him glory through whatever circumstance you are dealing with. 

I say this because I know my dear mum will discount what she and daddy have spent the past five months doing because it doesn’t see “big enough” to count for something.  BUT that is my point.  God doesn’t keep a grading scale somewhere.  It isn’t about receiving a prize but rather a check in your spirit to know that you are walking in obedience.  Life presents you with issues, circumstances, and choices.  God longs for you to view those things as vehicles to growth, for your own sanctification, a testimony to those around you and an encouragement to the body of Christ. 

Last October my uncle received the news that no one wants to hear.  Its cancer.  Its bad.  You’ve got about five months, maybe more, to live.  Immediately my mom and dad went from family members to primary caregivers.  They have been to every doctor appointment, been the tenacious advocates when necessary and washed every load of dirty laundry, all the while wrestling with God for my uncle’s salvation.  We interceded on a moment by moment basis while not knowing God’s ultimate plan.  We trusted God during the process; but it was heart-wrenching, slow, and painful. 

About a month before he died my uncle made a profession of faith and repentance.  We wondered and prayed that that his confession was sincere because of the very powerful drugs he was on for the pain.  Then God gave us a glimpse into his heart.  While talking with mom one day he mentioned he had peace about dying, but he wasn’t ready to die.  Wow.  We thank the Lord for this glimpse into eternity.   

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake,  Phillipians 1:29.

I like how Matthew Henry explains this in his commentary on the above verse.  “Here are two precious gifts given, and both on the behalf of Christ: - 1. To believe in him. Faith is God's gift on the behalf of Christ, who purchased for us not only the blessedness which is the object of faith, but the grace of faith itself: the ability or disposition to believe is from God. 2. To suffer for the sake of Christ is a valuable gift too: it is a great honour and a great advantage; for we may be very serviceable to the glory of God, which is the end of our creation, and encourage and confirm the faith of others.”

We often rejoice in the gift of faith.  Do we rejoice in the gift of suffering?  I know that “At the Foot of the Cross” my mom and dad can rejoice in the time that they suffered with my uncle.  This event in our family history holds the wonder and joy of both the gifts Matthew Henry speaks of in his commentary.  For us, God has granted that, the gift of suffering led to the gift of faith.

Dear one, you do not suffer alone, and you do not suffer merely for yourself.  Rejoice!  Not a “ha-ha, he-he” kind of rejoicing; but rejoice in your spirit to know that you are becoming like Christ, you are growing, you are serving, you are being useful to the Master.

 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.  Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

Philippians 2:12-18

Memory Verse: Ecclesiastes 1:13-14

I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Assignment: We only have today. Should God take you today, have you accomplished everything that you wanted to, needed to. Have you said all the things that needed to be said?  Let’s have no regrets, let’s make sure we get to those things, so that when we’re standing before the Lord, the only thing we need to do is to worship him.. and not regret not getting to that thing on our to do list. Stop - go take care of that thing…. then, come tell  us what you choose to share. Don’t embarrass yourself or any of your loved ones

*****************************************************************************************************************

I listened to a CD recently released by Victoria Botkin today that has left me pondering again the purpose of homeschooling.  Our purpose, dh and I, is to raise our children to be authentic people (Christians, thinkers, creators, homemakers, inventors, preachers, etc), who basis their lives on God's truth from Scripture, in a world that lives on a stale meal of old leftovers.  To be sure, that is a very simple way of stating our goal but the basis is sound. 

Mrs. Botkin's premise is very similar to my own philosophy of learning and I found myself being reminded again to view our homeschooling experience with eternal lenses on.  It isn't about what curriculum you use, what age your child is when they learn to read, how much or how little money you spend on school "stuff" or even how much time you spend doing school.  In the end it isn't about doing school at all.  Its about life. 

Have we taught our children how to do life? 

I remember going on a walk with a dear friend while I was still pregnant with our first child.  We were talking about school choices and homeschooling options.  I was just beginning to research homeschooling methods and such.  I casually mentioned that I had taught in different EarlyChildhood settings and felt comfortable with that age group.  My friend, also casually, mentioned that maybe I should pray for the grace to overcome the obstacle that my previous experience may create in our homeschooling effort.  HUH?!  I was pointing out how I was uniquely gifted and qualified to embark upon this noble and worthy venture.  Why did I need to pray for grace to overcome what I thought was a blessing? 

My focus was misplaced.  I was confusing school with education. 

A grievous mistake that many (friends, relatives, fellow homeschoolers, etc.) make. 

How does this tie into the assignment for the week?  The thing I want to remember to each day is to disciple my children while educating them.  I don't want to just "do school".  I want our lives to be about learning in God's world, doing ministry in God's church, and advancing God's kingdom.  Each day that accomplishes this task will bring honor and glory to my Father and leave me with no regret. 

Yes, it means that the dishes aren't always done on time, the laundry isn't always put away and that I'm walking around the lastest (and greatest) "thing" (made out of the box that came in the mail today) but I'm banking on eternal dividends.

Thank you, Mrs. Botkin!  I found your talk very uplifting and a great reminder that I am to be about my Father's work and not that of comparing myself to a fallen world.

Our day started late and has been pretty slow paced because of it.  We've managed to finish most of our school stuff for which momma is happy.  We are suppose to make some Challah bread today for our study of Shabbat but we'll see how the afternoon goes.  I love days where I have the time to watch my children's eyes while we do a puzzle, chat about the "fish dream" Pickles had, make goofy faces at Peanut, and sing ABC's while "going potty" with Pumpkin.  I get to do that everyday but today it just seems like I have the ability to enjoy it.  I don't have more time than any other day I'm just giving more grace to the situations at hand.  WOW!  That doesn't usually happen.  Thank you Jesus for the supernatural strength to be a conduit of your grace today. 

It is in moments/days like today that I get glimpses into the minds of my children that just amaze me.  I'm not amazed in a self-serving way but rather that in spite of who I am God is working in the hearts of my children.  What an undeserved gift! 

During Bible time this morning we finished up a lesson on the birth of Christ.  The angels announced that Jesus was born and would be the Savior.  Last night at church we learned that the ark was how God saved Noah and his family.  So, I pointed out how neat that God sent Jesus to be our Savior just as the ark was a place of salvation for Noah, the animals, and Noah's family.  Pickles went on to hum a tune while he finished coloring....momma's favorite (one of)...

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

He looked up with his brown smiling eyes and a broken green crayon in hand...I was about in tears.  Yes, Praise the Mount!  I'm fixed upon it, Mount of Thy redeeming Love.  I'm praying that each of you, my dear children, will enjoy that same sense of blessed peace as you trust in Jesus for Salvation.

I was chatting with a friend last night and I challenged her to help me compile (write seems like a scary term to me) a book.  The topic of our work would be "why do women run away from the pain that God has placed in their lives to sanctify them". 

I've come to learn that embracing the circumstances in your life with God's perspective gives one true contentment (thanks G for challenging me to Abide rather than Hide from God).  After chatting with my dear friend about this I proceeded to remain awake in bed thinking about it way into the wee hours.  UGH!  She always does that to me (wink,  you know who you are!).  But it was good to think on God's character and write sentences in my head that will be lost forever in the sleepy/conscience relm. 

I don't know if this will ever materialize into more than a couple of friends working out their salvation together but I know with God that all things are possible.  So, hang with me in the next few months.  I think suffering and pain will be a common theme around here.  I look back on the past 34 years and I see a lot of suffering and pain to comment on.  But, dear ones, I'm not living in the muck of life...NO, I am rejoicing that God is Sovereign and Holy.  He has a plan for my life and is working it to His Glory!  I pray that others may find peace and contentment in the reality of our stories/research/honesty. 

True freedom comes from living a life in complete submission to the will of God.  That was last weeks sermon and also the basic premise for living a life of contentment in this world of suffering and pain. 

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in h im, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith -- that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

Phillippians 3:8-11

I tried to post this the other day but it got zapped by the computer. 

I've been very blessed by this blog and I've found great inspiration and help in getting organized for beginning our first year with Tapestry of Grace there too.  Thanks Molly!

But recently Molly and her family have been going through a difficult struggle.  Her son, Knox, is fighting an unknown illness.  Please, pray for Knox and his family. 

I feel like I'm just getting to know Molly and her family through her blog and this struggling has touched me deeply.  I am praying that God would give the doctor's wisdom, that He would give Molly and her husband peace, that Knox would see God's hand on his life even in this hard situation, and that Knox would be healed!

Thanks for praying for Knox!

Reading Romans 1 this morning and it struck me (again) how the focus is on Christ ...

...Jesus Christ our Lord, through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among all the nations,...  Romans 1: 5-6 ESV

1.  Jesus is Lord

2.  We receive grace and apostleship from Him

3.  We receive grace and apostleship to bring about OBEDIENCE OF FAITH

4.  Obedience of faith is for His name sake

How does that impact how you view yourself? 

It reminds me that I am HIS and not my own.  I am here because He is Lord, all that I have (physical and spiritually) is from Him, I receive those things (grace and apostleship) to bring about obedience in my faith and it is all for HIS name sake. 

Praise God for His Son!  M

More thoughts later...off to run errands!

I agree with this post that Mrs. Stacy McDonald wrote about the displaying of inappropriate magazine covers in "family friendly" stores.  I've struggled with issue when grocery shopping with my two small children.  We are teaching our children what is appropriate at home and then they are assualted with disgusting images (right at their eye level) as they wait for momma to pay for the groceries.  UGH! 

Whatever happen to the days when society thought that protecting children was still a value to be held in esteem?  Why do I have to teach my 4 year son to look at his shoes when we are waiting for the elevator at the mall?  Why don't other moms (Christian and NonChristian) feel the need to protect our children from such flith, especially in an age when such awful crimes are done to children? 

So, readers, take a stand...print out and personalize the letter Stacy has written in her post.  Then send it to all the stores that you frequent.  Protect your marriage, protect your children, and protect your mind by taking a stand.

While out reading Crystal's Blog I found a post written by Maryanne.  She wrote it much more thoughtfully than I could and I found myself wanting to shout (but not wanting to scare the children, decided not to)!  Those who know me well know that this issue is a soapbox for me.  So, go read it and thank God you didn't have to trudge through the snow to get milk for your kiddos this morning!

May we seek our identity in Christ alone and not in our relationships, jobs, or culture...

May we find purpose in fulfilling our God-given roles rather than being relavent...

May we seek success through obedience to His Word rather than padding our wallets...

May we obey because of a circumsized heart rather than to meet an external standard...

May we realize that training our children builds eternity and brings glory to God!

Excuse me...I need to change a diaper...duty calls!

DH and I were at a family get-together this weekend when we began discussing the impending arrival of our third child (3/28/08).  We are the odd ones in DHs family because we have more than two children.  I forget the conversation but  I made some reference to the next baby (after this one) and someone commented "you aren't thinking about number 4 already, are you?".  I just smiled and said why not.  As I was poking around the blogsphere I ran across this post and it sums up how I felt at that moment. 

My dear children what a blessing you are!

I remember looking at a picture on my Grandmother's wall with a man sitting before a small loaf of bread with his head bowed in prayer...wondering how Jesus could be in that little loaf and why it was important that we eat Him.  Silly thoughts of a child...or do some still wonder those same things?

I have not been able to make a decent loaf of bread since we moved into this house (in July 07).  I even resorted to just trying to use the bread machine and I still was messing it up some how.  So, I did what most people do when presented with such a frustration...I gave up!  I have found some great sales this fall on bread and haven't paid "too much" for the loaves I've been buying.  Yet, I was starting to miss the homemade loaves that come piping hot from my oven full of nutritional goodness.  So, as I munched on an empty tasting sandwich last week I decided that I would make yet another attempt when that loaf was gone. 

While I contemplated the idea of making a from scratch loaf of warm brown bread I thought of my dismal failures of late...too dense, rose beautifully and then fell, too gooey, and even the birds didn't eat the experimental loaf with seeds in it.  I did what any homemaker would do...I searched out a new recipe.  I considered several recipes and settled on Honey Wheat Bread.  Sounds Yummy!  It was obvious I had not baked in awhile as I started to make bread late on a Friday afternoon.  I usually find that it is best to bake early in the week mid-morning so that way we have all the mess cleaned up before daddy comes home and we are set with bread for the week (1 for now and 1 in the freezer). 

Well, it was worth the effort and I will definitely make this recipe again.  It probably won't be my weekly recipe because it takes a little longer and has some more costly ingredients (eggs, milk, and butter)  but it gave me the success I needed to get my courage back up.  I'm hoping to find the energy to start making more of our bread.  It is good for the kiddos, cheaper, fun, smells great, and tastes so much better than store stuff.  I do need to clarify though that with baby on the way we will probably not be back into our "only homemade baking" for awhile.  If I spot a good BOGO bread sale I think I may stock up for those times when I need to give myself some homemaker "grace". 

As I stretched my baking muscles again last week I was reminded of John 6 (I ran out of room to post the passage here, go read it sometime) when Jesus feeds the multitudes and then shares with them that He was the Bread of Life.  I love how God gives us pictures to remember the truths of Scripture.  There I was with my hands in the dough when I was reminded that Jesus needs to be my basic source of spiritual life.  What is bread?  The basic of all foods...every culture has some sort of bread they live on and most everyone I've ever met eats it (in some form).  So, what is my source of life?  What is included in my spiritual diet (empty calories or nutritious whole grains, something that took time and energy or something I picked up while getting the paper)?

I was also reminded what I love about this passage of Scripture.  We get so stuck on the Jesus is the Bread of Life idea that we miss how He admonishes the crowd.  He encourages them to seek the food that will not perish because He knows that many of them have followed Him only because they had been blessed with full bellies the day before.  They were not interested in spiritual food that would last, by producing spiritual growth in a life, but in seeing more signs or being the recipients of some miraculous blessing.  I imagine some of those in the crowd expected to see manna fall from heaven or wondered how this man would make Himself into bread (remember the picture on my grandma's wall).

I watched the dough hook knead my lovely wheat bread and I thought of how I fail to seek what will last, have a selfish heart, and try to cling to Scripture without considering context or truth.  I stand in the crowd and only want more bread for the moment rather than seeking Christ to meet the deep hunger of my soul.  I want an immediate fix to my current unpleasant situation (empty calories, fast food) rather than being a faithful and disciplined disciple that seeks what I need from the Master (eating the Bread of Life).  

So, I discovered once again that Jesus being the Bread of LIfe is no simple platitude that we can pass on in Christian conversation to mark ourselves as "well-versed".  It is a call to make a choice and to examine our hearts.  Are we receiving Christ as our life-giving supply from heaven?   

I was visiting my favorite blogs this morning and Amy  said something that has gotten me thinking...

Sometimes I get off-track when I forget that life is not all about me and my feelings. A God-centered life is not a self-centered life. It’s no use being a grouch or being discontent with your lot. God humbled Himself and became a Man so that we could have our sins forgiven. He also did it so that we could imitate Him, serving others as He served us. Sometimes this makes for a very ordinary life, which translates to extraordinary in God’s economy. John Piper writes, “The real cultural bondage today is not that too many people are making God radically God-centered, but that most people cannot conceive of his being loving unless he is man-centered.”

 Then she followed that up with the verse that God used deeply in my life while potty training ds...

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

Isn't it incredible how the Holy Spirit never gives up in His quest to transform us into the image of Christ?  It's almost as if I think once I've conquered a hurdle that I'm done dealing with it and am invincible.  But as I continue to pray for God to transform me into the image of Christ then the Holy Spirit is reminding me that there is still more to do.  As I read Amy's post I found myself face to face with the same struggles that I felt almost a year and a half ago when I wrote about how God was showing me my sin in the midst of potty training ds.  Today I was faced with my sin in the midst of training ds in other life-tasks (ie, getting dressed in a timely manner, eating what is given at dinner, quarreling with his sister, trying to control his sister).  I find that my motives are still not pure which makes me dwell in the "land of discontent".  I still desire for him to behave so that I can "do life", get through my to-do-list, and get home from errands without a fuss.  Wow!  I am not focusing on the true task at hand...1) God conforming me into the image of His Son and 2) training my children to walk in righteousness. 

Well, I guess I have to remove my entry in the "this momma has arrived" contest and get back to the Master's feet.  Thanks Amy for the post...God used it to remind me that I'm in need of a refocus and I don't need to feel hopeless or overwhelmed because the Holy Spirit is still doing His work in my life and the lives of my children.

Now...off to ring the school bell and get things started here! 

P.S.   ...you also need to go check out Amy's blog because she has a really cute new little girl in her house.  :)

Well, I had a talk with dh this morning (out of frustration).  We've hit the "relationship" struggle with ds and dd.  I am an only child so I hate struggle with the tension that the sibling relationship creates in our home.  I desire deeply for my kiddos to learn to solve conflict in a healthy Biblical way but often find my nature is to just "want it to stop".  Well, that is counterproductive not how to teach/model/reflect a godly way of dealing with an offended brother.  So, dh listen to my lament about how unqualified I was to be the one training my children and then in a quiet voice (those who know dh know what I mean) he said,"yes, you are...you are prepared to do this".  I love the vote of confidence but I can't say it filled me with the "go get'em spirit".  Love you, honey!

Then I ran across this link "Why Some Evangelicals are Throwing out Birth Control" today and God reminded me why I do what I do:

1) to be obedient and glorify Him in what He has set before me

2) because He created children and loves them deeply

3) to raise a generation of people that will stand on the truth of God's Word

4) because my children are a gift given to me directly from the hand of God

To GOD be the Glory!

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time;

It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail.

Though it tarries, wait for it;

For it will certainly come, it will not delay."

Habakkuk 2:3 NASB

I'm a strong believer in taking in God's Word in context so I usually stray away from listing verses out of context but I was struck this morning by how much this verse speaks of God's character.  It is God speaking to Habakkuk after Habakkuk has lamented the state of the peoples to Him.  God is beginning to share a vision with the prophet.  He [Habakkuk] is to write it on tablets, "That the one who reads it may run."  I found that an odd way to describe a reaction but the words in true meaning actually state who reads is rather one may read it fluently and the word read  has a greater meaning when understood to mean  is to problaim it.  So, the vision was to be written that it could be read and understood flunently and to be read aloud or proclaimed.  God wanted people to know, hear, and understand what He was about to say.

I highlighted some of the phrases that really stood out to me in the above verse.  I also lament the state of the generation in which I live.  I long for Christian women/wives/mommas to know and understand God's Word so that they may walk in a manner worthy of their calling (Ephesians 4: 1).  I believe that God's design is for a woman to find her joy and contentment at home fulfilling the duties that God has designed for her as a help-meet and home-keeper.  But, alas, I digress from today's thought.

I see three things that comfort and instruct me in this verse.  The first is that God describes this vision as having a goal and that it will be carried out.  This reminds me in my "so-daily" life that God has a goal and it will be carried out regardless of the schemes of man that I see playing out before me or in my own family.  I thank God for these little reminders in the Word that "I'm not in control and don't have to be".  He is God and He is working His plan for the ages.  What peace is found in knowing that such a BIG God is working His plan in my life and He will not fail.  Wow!

The second thing I see is that we are told to wait for it.  I know this is an area that I struggle with on a daily basis.  I think back to the Old Testment believers and how they waited for Messiah.  I'm waiting to join my Father in heaven, see my children grow in wisdom and statute, and how God will work out the crazy-looking situations in my life.  But in the end we see a statement that reminds us of God's authority and how He instructs us [parents us].  Only a person in authority can say "wait" or give such directions.  Am I accepting God's authority in my life?  Wow, have to ponder that one in prayer.  The other thought I see in this is a comforting one...if you are told to wait there must be a purpose or something on the other side that is worth waiting for.  I don't know about you but I know that if I can hold on to a promise in the Word it grows my faith to endure the wait.

The last thing I see is that God has everything on schedule.  Again, it is such a comfort to know that God is the one keeping the schedule.  Do I always agree with the timetable?  No.  But then the sanctification process kicks in, thanks to the Holy Spirit, and I begin to see the supreme design and care that God has for me/His world/His church/His people. 

So, like Habakkuk I often lament the downfall of our world/culture/christian-culture and I wonder how much longer God will allow the evil to prosper and then I see a glimpse of God's character and I'm reminded of how my worry is for naught.

Habakkuk :

...Yes, destruction and violence are before me; Strife exists and contention arises.  Therefore, the law is ignored And justice is never upheld.  For the wicked surround the righteous; Therefore, justice comes out perverted.

God:

Look among the nations!  Observe!  Be astonished!  Wonder!  Because I am doing something in your days--You would not believe if you were told.

Thanks for making it to the end!  There might be more thoughts on Habakkuk in the future....

Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity

And passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession?

He does not retain His anger forever,

Because He delights in unchanging love.

Micah 7:18

We've been struggling in our house with potty training our oldest dc for about a year.  Just this past month we decided it was time to commit to a plan and stick it out.  I think I've been hoping that if I just keep trying something we would stumble upon something that worked.  That didn't happen but our son did learn that if he balks about something long enough then we will try something new (aka change our minds).  Well, all that began to change a couple of weeks ago and we felt it was time to stick with a particular method. 

I have to admit that it was hard for me and what I saw in myself was UGLY!  As, we began to work through the process of dealing with messes and my ds still balking I found that my responses to him were so UGLY!  I began to cry out to God that He would enable me to be what my son needed (patient, loving, firm, kind, supportive) but all I wanted to do was give up. 

God in His great compassion began to show me in His Word what His character is.  Now as I write that it seems like a silly statement.  What else to you expect to learn in the Word other than about who God is?!  But I mean I saw it everywhere...The Spirit was also tenderly reminding me that I am the one showing my children who God is and does my motive line up with what Scripture says it should be?  A big no on that one. 

So, in desparation I began to pray for direction to solve the potty training issue but God did (is doing) such a bigger work in my heart.  I began to understand that I had placed my own comfort and need for order up as an idol in my life.  I was deeply convicted by Phil. 2:3-7.  I was not walking in the Spirit with my children but rather trying to ask them (respectively 3 yr. and 1 yr old) to do things that would further my agenda (aka make it easy on mom).  My sin was ugly and replusive when I saw it in the light of Scripture but then the healing balm came!

The passage from Micah that I listed above reminded me that God forgives my sin, passes over our rebellion to pursue relationship with us, does not retain the anger and all because He delights in unchanging love.  I felt the love of God in the passage and then had the strength and desire to (through the Spirit) be that for my children.  I want to forgive the wrongs they do, pass over the rebellion to have relationship with them, not retain the anger and delight in showing them unchanging love. 

I praise God that He has shown me these things in my own life so that I can, through His Spirit, model them for my family.  Now, that is what home education is all about!