May. 26, 2006 -
Last night I didn't think once about people..
but this morning, I did.
I plan to eventually write out the frustration and feelings ive been holding in lately, Its time for me to face it and forget it.
I know not many, if any people actually read my blog, but i'm okay with that, it's better this way. But really, if you do, please leave feed back.
Person Number one:
I was part of a group of older people I didnt belong in. At that point in time, I mostly migrated from person to person, most would give up on me after a short while. We were good friends a few years back, but I could never remember the memories you seemed to know so well. We started talking during the summer.. We started hanging out, and soon...we were inseperable. I told you everything a best friend would. Things about guys, family..everything. You gave your opinion though I hardly ever took it. But still, you were comforting for a while. I went through a hard time and a lot of heartbreak with a guy friend, one who meant more to me than most at that point. When it ended I found out I could only not trust him, but I couldnt trust you. After discovering the many secrets you guys were keeping, I laughed it off. I tried my best to be happy for you two, even if it meant losing him as a friend. Things seemed to be ok, and hardly uncomfortable..as discussions of you and him would come up often. I listened to your problems, I even tried to help once or twice (feeling I could never really have an opinion on your relationship because of the events). I became a bad friend..or atleast, to most...I seemed like one. What had happened in the past wasnt an issue in our friendship anymore, I realized how you were. Numerous qualities showed the longer we hung out..most I didnt like. I guess I decided I was enough negitivity I would ever need in my life and you werent helping. I let you go slowly, and soon..without you knowing why I was doing it to you, you cut me off. I do not see you as the victim. You hurt me, and I lost faith in you a long time ago. You seemed to think I was the only one who thought so poorly of you, you are wrong. I know I shouldnt have been treated like that..by you, by him. Ive hung out 3 times since then, with the old friend I used to care so much about and realized......
your perfect for eachother.
Person Number two:
You changed me.
I blame myself for getting attached..
We met a long time ago..but we didn't even speak for years, then for some reason, you saw something in me, we soon started talking on aim. Soon the talks were more than "hi's". I liked talking to you. You were different.
The interest for me just grew with time. We started talking on the phone, my favorite conversations :)
To shorten a very long and drawn out story, you made a very hard year for me seem less difficult. From holding my hand when my sister in-law was in a car crash, to talking to me on the phone until 4am, because you didn't like the idea of me sittting up all alone. You made me look at things in a different light. We had a friendship I thought was special. You told me I was different. Most of our latest conversations revolve around "news", or just a quick hello. No more phone conversations, no more lies. I still think about you alot, maybe its me trying to hold on to the great person I once thought I could get close to. As I think and hear more and more I cant help but feel like I was nothing more than another girl you decided to hold hands with..another girl you decided to cuddle, just another girl, for lack of better words.
Im just another one of your friends.
Im just another girl.
You werent just another boy.
Person Number three:
I have a hard time trusting anyone, and you were no different. I could go on for pages writting about you.
I let you in and gave you my everything.
I dont regret it.
You're my twin pillars, without wich I could not stand.
Within a short time, we've been through so much.
I love you :) You are my best friend.
Please dont leave me here alone.
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