Dec. 10, 2009 - Winter
I enjoy talking about my life when everything is going well. Sharing victories gives one a sense of accomplishment, of playing an important role in the world, and of feeling good about oneself. Sharing about the not-so-good times requires a whole other level of vulnerability. And, perhaps to the reader such information can come across sounding like whining. However, when I read or listen to the challenges that friends and family are facing either in their circumstances or in their inner journey with God, I am always drawn closer to them and am able to identify my own struggles with less shame.
I was getting very frustrated trying to put words to my current season. My explanations sound as fractured as my thoughts. I would have said confused but that word doesn't really fit properly. As I was reading some Parker J. Palmer last night I was reminded about the 'seasons' metaphor and his reminder has given me some words to describe my own experiences of late.
The winter season is about stripping away the old growth. The fruit has long fallen or been picked and the trees ready themselves for a time of hibernation. Processes slow down and the tree begins to look lifeless. The leaves that dressed it so prettily in the summer are all gone and the tree limbs stand stark against the gray skies.
Winter has entered my inner world. In that bleak, cold and dark place I am not moving ahead at a very fast past. Progress, at least the way I measure spiritual growth, seems to have come to a screeching halt. I feel the need to hunker down and find shelter from the winds that are blowing through my soul. I am unsure about many questions, especially ones that ask "why" or "how long". Because the season feels dark I can't even see clearly to know what God is doing, and His once palpable presence seems obscure.
I must confess that I feel a little angry at God. I wasn't expecting my path to take a turn into such a lonely and barren place. In truth I have felt a little abandoned and betrayed because the plans looming on the horizon in early summer were glorious! Opportunities for involvement and service were abounding and I was excited and anticipating all the wonderful adventures I was thought I was being invited to. Opportunities, in hindsight, full of intellect and ego. And, then this...
Okay, I should be embracing the "resting" part of this whole season except that I'm still wrestling with feeling punished or set aside. And, some of the things from which I'm being asked to rest, bring questions from my family or perplexed looks from friends. Really? You're resting from going to church? Resting from reading your Bible? (The list goes on.) That's bizarre, they respond! And, I agree...This feels very bizarre. It could look like laziness or backsliding. It could look like all kinds of things that it isn't. What I'm learning when I set aside what others are thinking is that I am being given permission to move toward choice and freedom and away from the bondage of 'should'.
Saturday, December 12, 2009 - ~Maestro Classics~ TOS Crew Review
I received the following product for free, for the sole purpose of review on this blog. I receive no monetary compensation for this review.
Imagine a child's world filled with music!
Classical Music CDs for Children
The award-winning new classical music CD series for children and families combines classic
stories with great symphony orchestra music. Combining literature, classical music, education
and entertainment, these CDs for parents and children are perfect for ALL kids and interested
parents. Once it was Baby Mozart, Raffi, ClassicalKids; now it is time for Maestro Classics(TM).
Bonnie Ward Simon and conductor/composer Stephen Simon developed and produced the original Stories and Music series for the Washington Chamber Symphony at the Kennedy Center. An expert in the field of children's music education, Bonnie available to answer your questions about how you can introducethe wonderful world of music to your children from infancy onward. Visit her blog at AskBonnieSimon.blogspot.com
Maestro Classics' Award-Winning CD Series
Each CD set includes:
~An enchanting story set to great music
~Superb recordings by the London Philharmonic Orchestra
~Educational tracks describing the creation of the music, composers' lives, musical composition and more.
~An innovative activity booklet.
Cost:
Purchase one for $16.98 or three for $45.00
Click here to purchase and for a code to receive the 3/$45 deal.
Or phone at 888-540-2811
Titles Available:
Casey at the Bat
The Story of Swan Lake
Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel
Peter and the Wolf
Juanita the Spanish Lobster
The Tortoise and the Hare
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
In Our Home:
We received The Tortoise and the Hare for review and the girls loved it. Listening to story acted out on the CD with the addition of beautiful orchestra music was delightful to them. They've asked to listen to it several more times. The bonus of having a read aloud mixed with Classical music is a ranks highly with me. I think this would be a great Christmas gift for a large family that traveled a lot. Another idea I had was that several families could go in on the cost and then trade them between themselves. They are a little pricey, but the quality is worth the cost.
To view read what other TOS Crew members think about this product, click the logo below.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009 - This is filled with wisdom!
One of my spiritual mentors was/is Elizabeth Elliott. Sadly, she now suffers from dementia and no longer writes. I miss her program Gateway to Joy, but enjoy getting a daily devotion from her. I always have one of her books next to my computer to read while I await web pages to upload.
The following is the devotion I received in the mailbox today. She taught me these principles when Jennifer was 2-3 years old and they have stuck with me. But I also appreciate the wisdom at the end of this piece, I should be careful giving parenting advice to others when I have not walked in their shoes.
Teaching A Child Self-Denial
One of the countless blessings of my life is having a daughter who
actually asks for my prayers and my advice (and heeds the latter). She
phoned from California one morning, describing the difficulties of
home-schooling three children in grades six, four, and one, when you also
have a four-year-old who is doing nursery school and a two-year-old,
Colleen, who wants to do everything. And since Evangeline Mary was born, a
nursing baby now claims attention as well. How to give Colleen proper
attention and teach her also to occupy herself quietly for what seemed to
her long periods? Valerie was deeply concerned over whether she was doing
all she should for that little one.
I reminded her of the women of Bible times--while probably not
homeschooling her children, an ordinary village woman would have been
working very hard most of the time, carrying heavy water jars, grinding
grain, sweeping, planting and cooking while tending children. This was
true also of the Indians with whom Val grew up. An Indian mother never
interrupted her day's work to sit down with a small child and play or read
a story, yet the children were more or less always with her, watching her
work, imitating her, learning informally. They had a strong and secure
home base, "and so have yours," I told her. "Don't worry! You are not
doing Colleen an injustice. Quite the contrary. You are giving her
wonderful things: a stable home, your presence in that home, a priceless
education just in the things she observes."
The demands on Val, as on any mother of small children, are pretty
relentless, of course. She does all the housework with the help of the
children (a schedule of chores is posted on the refrigerator). People
usually gasp when I tell them the number of my grandchildren. "Wow," said
one, "it takes a special woman to have that many children." Special? Not
really. Millions have done it. But it takes grace, it takes strength, it
takes humility, and God stands ready to give all that is needed.
I suggested to Valerie that perhaps she could define the space which
Colleen was allowed to play in during school time, and make it very clear
to her that school time was quiet time for her brothers and sisters. When
Valerie was Colleen's age she had to learn to play quietly alone because I
was occupied for a good portion of every day in Bible translation work, or
in teaching literacy and Bible classes in our house. She knew she was not
to interrupt except for things I defined as "important." At that time
there were seldom children of her age to play with, and she had neither
siblings nor father, yet she was happy and, I think, well-adjusted. (For a
certain period we had the added difficulty of living with a missionary
family of six children under nine whose mother felt obliged to be more or
less available for her children every minute--they were thought too young
to learn not to interrupt. It was not an ordered home, and the mother
herself was exhausted most of the time.)
Does this training seem hard on the child, impossible for the mother? I
don't think it is. The earlier the parents begin to make the laws of order
and beauty and quietness comprehensible to their children, the sooner they
will acquire good, strong notions of what is so basic to real godliness:
self-denial. A Christian home should be a place of peace, and there can be
no peace where there is no self-denial.
Christian parents are seeking to fit their children for their inheritance
in Christ. A sense of the presence of God in the home is instilled by the
simple way He is spoken of, by prayer not only at meals but in family
devotions and perhaps as each child is tucked into bed. The Bible has a
prominent place, and it is a greatly blessed child who grows up, as I did,
in a hymn-singing family. Sam and Judy Palpant of Spokane have such a
home. "Each of our children has his or her own lullaby which I sing before
prayer time and the final tucking into bed," Judy wrote. "That lullaby is
a special part of our bedtime ritual. Whenever other children spend the
night we sing 'Jesus Loves Me' as their lullaby. What a joy it was on the
most recent overnighter to have the three Edminster children announce, `We
have our own lullabies now!' Matt, who is twelve and who can be so swayed
by the world, said, `Mine is "Jesus Keep Me Near the Cross."'"
The task of parents is to show by love and by the way they live that they
belong to another Kingdom and another Master, and thus to turn their
children's thoughts toward that Kingdom and that Master. The "raw
material" with which they begin is thoroughly selfish. They must gently
lay the yoke of respect and consideration for others on those little
children, for it is their earnest desire to make of them good and faithful
servants and, as Janet Erskine Stuart expressed it, "to give saints to
God."
Surely it was not coincidence that my friend Ann Kiemel Anderson called
just as I was finishing the above piece. She had just received little
William Brandt, her fourth adopted son. The others were four and three
years old and ten months. She was thrilled, and not nearly as exhausted as
she expected to be, thankful for the gift of the child and for the gift of
the needed grace and strength for one day (and one night) at a time.
"But oh, Elisabeth!" she said in her huskily soft voice, "when I had only
one, I thought I knew all the answers. There is nothing so humbling as
having two or three or four children."
I needed that reminder. Jim and I had hoped for at least four children.
God gave us one, and that one gave me hardly any reason for serious worry,
let alone despair. She was malleable. What "worked" for her may not work
for another child, but I offer my suggestions anyway--gleaned not only
from experience as the child of my parents and the parent of my child, but
from observation of others. My second husband Add Leitch, whose first wife
had died, had three daughters. "If I'd only had two, I could've written a
book on child training," he once told me. One of them proved to him that
he couldn't.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009 - ~Delightful Snow Play~
The sisters took to the backyard hill this afternoon. They had a fabulous time playing together in the snow. Similar to the wrestling matches that occur on the living room floor, snow lead to this...
Here are my two snow girls:
And because I am the meanest mother in the world, we will be doing school tomorrow! I would rather press on in the warmth of our home and be done in the spring. We will be done early enough to enjoy a warm fire, delicious baked cookies and games.
~~Praying your home is filled with the warmth of the season,
Friday, December 11, 2009 - ~Tektoma~ TOS Crew Review~
I received the following product for free, to review on my blog as part of the TOS Crew.
Do you want to learn how to make video games?
Tektoma offers you this:
*Engaging video tutorials
*Tutorials of varying skill levels and topics
*Learn at your own pace in the comfort of your home
*Natural progression helps develop technical skills
*Customize your learning experience
*Low monthly membership fee gives access to all of their resources
*New curriculums are available monthly
Get a FREE 14 day trial.
To trial it click this link.
PRICE: Just $14.95 per month or $140 per year gets you access to all the tutorials as well as online help via the forums. Payable by credit card or Paypal. Monthly fee automatically renews until canceled.
This is a safe way to have your children learn to make their own video games. It does have certain system requirements, please read them here. Also you must download a program called GameMaker.
In Our Home:
In our home, Elizabeth really enjoyed using this program and running the cool game she made. It was simple, but did require some supervision and instruction from her parents.
To view what other TOS Crew members thought of this product, click the logo below.
Sunday, December 6, 2009 - Maintaining excitement throughout THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
QUESTION: "Amy, how do you maintain excitement for 12 days of Christmas Shmily time? I tried it last year and frankly it was hard! Hubby was feeling special but honestly I just wanted to be left alone and sleep. Help me get mentally straightened out to try again!" - JessicaI have to be honest... I struggle EVERY year with this whole thing, to some extent. Now, don't get me wrong, it's so much better than it used to be BEFORE I started the "12 days of Christmas" with my hubby... but that doesn't mean it doesn't go off without some trials, and I honestly believe that the more women that I tell about the 12 days of Christmas in order to bless their marriages... well, do you think that satan is just gonna sit back and watch my marriage flourish? Absolutely not!
I honestly hesitated this year when I realized when THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS was going to be and when the baby was due... I am literally due the day before I normally start this whole thing (which is my hubby's birthday) and so not only did I realize I was going to have the "normal" struggles of prior years... but having a baby at some point before the 12 days is up certainly means I'm gonna need to get a LITTLE... uh... creative... Not only will hormones be in full swing... but I will have a new little one "sucking the life out of me" (I nurse my babies) and that can be draining as well.
But the more I thought about "canceling" the whole thing... the more I knew I needed to do it... not just for my sweet Beloved... but because I needed to look forward to it as well. I needed to remind myself of all those reasons I fell in love with my husband... and the many more that I've fallen in love with since then.
I think we all know that by doing this... we certainly are blessing our husbands and our marriages... but I realized how I've really taken the whole thing for granted by thinking that I'm doing my husband some great big favor... when, in reality... I am equally blessed by these very special 12 days each year. By focusing on the good things about my husband, I "fall in love" all over again with the man I married... but there is still more...
I GET to serve my husband more intentionally then I normally do. Sure, I wash his clothes, make meals for him (although I don't know if he'd say that's a blessing or not considering the cook HE is), make sure his closet is full of clothing that fits and shoes to wear... but I can so easily fall into the routine of being his wife, that I forget the privilege of being so much more... a servant who acts out of love, expecting nothing in return... THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS makes me focus on my husband's wants, needs, and desires more than ever before and I find myself truly loving making him smile. It's no longer about what he's done for me... what I might get in return... or why he isn't do this or that... my focus is not on ME... and honestly women, that's right where God wants me as a wife all the time.
So, while I know 12 days IS hard to keep the excitement alive... I want to challenge you to really focus on your husband and not yourself... push yourself to go a little further when you feel like throwing in the towel... go the distance because in the end... it will not only be your husband that will be blessed... but you as well.
FYI: I made a booklet to encourage your husband for 30 weeks... in it there are a few things that might help you to stay focused on your hubby as you prepare for the 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... and to help you stay that way throughout. You can find the booklet by clicking the following link: 30-week Husband Encouragement Challenge.
Dec. 3, 2009 - Filling in the Gap
The big gap between posts can be attributed to the fullness of life right now. Besides contending with my husband being out of town on business, we also spent two weeks preparing for 'the teacher visit'. I'm always amazed at the length of the preparation process and can never figure out why so much of the kids' daily work either hasn't been edited and refined to be ready for presentation, or has somehow slipped through the cracks completely. Still, with much effort we managed to pull everything together and that visit happened on Friday, Nov. 27. The teacher was very encouraging. Thank you, Mrs. Bisschop!
Although all of us would have liked to slide right into holiday mode after the teacher visit, I have learned from the many years that we've been enrolled that taking that huge break over the month of December doesn't pay off in January. I guess it's a case of being easier to keep the train going than to stop it and start up again. We have developed a rhythm over the past months that is working. So why mess with a good thing? So, we'll keep going for a little longer and look forward to taking some time off closer to Christmas.
Yesterday felt very l-o-n-g. One of my daughters had an appointment with her teacher out at the Homeschool Center. So, we made the trek in there just after rush hour traffic started dwindling and I sat around for 2 1/2 hours while she received some tutoring. If I'd known she'd take that long I would have planned to make better use of the time. Last year when this same scenario came up with my older daughter she was finished within half an hour. I guess I must have given myself that time-frame when I planned out the day.
By the time we got back home I had only an hour to check up on the others and answer their most pertinent questions. I hurriedly printed out some worksheets and then we were heading back out into the cold for dance and sewing classes that required my hanging around for another hour and a half. Then, home to grab a quick supper - soup out of a can - and then off again to guitar lessons. When I got home just after 9:00 my head was literally spinning. Thankfully the kids had all pitched in and I didn't have to contend with a big clean-up when I walked in the door.
This morning we had piano lessons right off the mark. At least this got everyone out of bed in a timely manner, and we should be able to fit in a really focussed schooling day. At least I can hope that we will! I wish I had time to add all the other details about how life is unfolding - decisions about my eldest daughter's on-line school that rose to the surface this week, my first counselling/spiritual direction session, and how God continues to work in this shadowy season of my journey, but...
I've a load of laundry that was somehow forgotten in the washer last night, garbage cans that need to be brought in from the road, leaves that need to be raked, dishes slowly gathering by the sink, kids asking for help, workbooks stacked for marking, and...Well, you get the picture.
