This is a piece I wrote for my writing strands.

              As I pushed some children on the swings, I looked around for my own. Anna and Hailey were waiting for their turn on the slide as such good little girls should. I scanned the sea of swirling color again for Jack. Then I spotted his smiling face as he ate yet another hot dog.

             My attention turned back to the little girl I was pushing, but in a moment it soon wandered again. The sound of gigling girls and boys telling jokes was so amusing to listen to. Some women's chatter also filled the air.

             The scent of hot dogs cooking made me hungry. What I liked best was the tantilizing aroma of cookies and cakes on the dessert table. That along with the smell of soda was enough to make me say that this was the best picnic ever.

This is supposed to be from the point of veiw of a mother enjoying the picnic. What do you think?