A Dentist Prepares for an Examination

DENTIST APPOINTMENTS

My day began with a reminder from Jason, "Don't forget you have a dentist appointment today."  Ugh!  I inherited many qualities from my mother, one of which is both a psychological reliance on and a slight fear of dentists.  I'm better off than my poor mother, however, due to braces in middle school.  When you have hands in your mouth most of your adolescent life, it is much easier to tolerate the woes of a simple cleaning.

Fortunately, the lady who cleaned my teeth was at once both thorough and surprisingly gentle, so I was able to walk out of my appointment and eat immediately eat lunch!  Hurray!

THOUGHTS ON THE BOOK SACRED INFLUENCE

Because I came out of my appointment about 30 minutes earlier than my ride (Jason and the kids) expected, I had time to stroll around the Dollar Store (how sad is it when you can't afford a few items at the Dollar Store) and to sit down on the curb and do a little reading.  My current "marriage" read is Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas.  I was so impressed with Sacred Marriage that Iquickly insisted that Jason order this one for me.  Unfortunately, my first impression of the book is that it was written with the worst case scenario husbands in mind. . . which, I am happy to say, mine is not.  But, my street-side reading yesterday gave me some hope that the book will do me some good.  I will have to trudge on and see. 

However, those with husbands who really struggle with lack of communications, physical affection, helping with the kids or house, or with sexual addictions of varying sorts will probably find this book extremely helpful.

VEGGIE TALES

A new Family Bookstore opened up in the next town over, and their grand opening events include mega-deal coupons and visits from Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber.  Of course we went! 

Jason's birthday is later this month; and, historically, he never lets me buy him any gifts.  It always frustrates me because I love to make big deals of the birthdays in this family.  However, I wooed him with coupons that were too good to pass by and the promise that he wouldn't have to wait until his birthday to have his gifts.  So, he got himself a Casting Crowns CD and some compilation praise and worship CD.

The kids were highly entertained with the Veggie Tales.  Gordon was thrilled with Bob and Larry (in spite of their inability to say anything -- which struck me as strange, yet understandable).  Teeny just couldn't get enough of them, and even Bud-Jack seemed to like them -- walked right up and stared at them for a while.  I got some pictures, but have yet to see if they turned out really well.  It was a difficult situation as Larry was too tall to fit completely in the pictures with my little ones. 

MORE ADVENTURES OF THE DAY

After the book store we headed to Wal-Mart to pick up pictures to send to the Ging-Gings for Mother's Day, and then over to Rita's for Ice Cream/Custard Cones.

The outings were completed with a trip to the library to get Gordon books on insects and Teeny books on Snails.  Not sure why she wanted books on snails, but who am I to argue?

CINQO DE MAYO

And, of course we celebrated with a Mexican Feast!  Soft-shell tacos, Spanish rice (made from leftover white rice mixed with some tomato sauce), refried beans, and chips and dip.  We topped the celebration off with Cinqo de Mayo slushies.  Yum.    What a way to end a busy day!

Well, we are more than half-way through Lent; and I have to say that I think things are going remarkably well here.  I am so much more satisfied with this Lent than I have been with any other Lent or Advent I have ever celebrated. 

As I wrote several weeks ago, I'm using this "road map to Easter" with the kids, combined with this Bible reading schedule and the symbols that go with each reading.  The chart we have hanging in the kitchen is really helping the kids pay attention to the readings; and it allows for alot of review, since they are constantly asking me to go back over what the different symbols stand for.  So far we have begun special prayers of thanks for the things we are especially grateful for (note later that for a week or so, Gordon or Teeny always thanked God for the TV).  We also talked about forgiveness and the need to both ask for and give it.  Last week we focused on abstinence and went beyond our fast food fast to abstain from TV for a full five days!!!  This week we are working on extra acts of charity.

The week without TV was a wonderful experience for the whole family and has helped form some new, better habits around here.  For instance, the week sorta weaned my children off of the constant TV feed of cable stations like Nickalodian and Disney.  Now I have them watching EITHER Mr. Rogers and Reading Rainbow during lunch OR a DVD in the evening.  Jason and I are also restricting our cable viewing.  I have about three or four "must see" shows during the week, and Jason loves to rent DVDs from our local Redboxes; SO, we only watch those shows and a DVD or so a week.  This may still sound like a substantial amount of TV viewing, but it is a big step for us.  I used to have the TV on every time I nursed as well as for about an hour or two after my favorite shows AND just about anytime I was bored in the evening.  Jason, too, feels the cut-back every time he comes home and catches himself instinctively looking for the remote and the sofa.  But we both realize how nice it is to have our time back.  We read more, talk more, . . .

As far as my own personal Lenten journey, I have finished Sacred Marriage, have ordered Sacred Influence, and have recommended the former to everyone I can think of (it is the only marriage book I've ever finished -- this goes way beyond the stuff you've always heard).  Jason is now reading the book (and likes it alot -- has already shared much insight gained from his reading), as is a dear family member who is reconciling her marriage.  So exciting.  And, yes, the book has had several practical effects on my marriage. . . but some are rather personal, so I'll opt out of sharing the specifics.

Also, working toward simplicity this Lenten season, I have begun greatly limiting my internet use -- I literally have to TURN OFF THE COMPUTER sometimes, but it works -- and I get much more done and find that my kids are much better behaved.  I've also developed a greater appreciation for the library and have decided to begin passing on those books that I purchase that I just think are wonderful to friends and family (so, someone will be getting a copy of Sacred Marriage once Jason finishes it). 

I think the ideas of fasting and abstinence are sort of misunderstood in some Protestant circles.  My mom likes to say that she gave "everything" up when she became a Christian and therefore doesn't have anything to fast.  However, I've found that giving things up like, say, meat or sugar or television. . . gives me an opportunity to evaluate what sort of a hold these things have on my life and how I might need to simplify my life in areas like food consumption and media use.  Eating more simply (at least some of the time) saves money for more important things -- like giving to charitable causes.  And restricting TV and computer time allow for better use of my time -- like reading, praying, talking with Jason, and spending time with my kids.

. . .speaking of which, my oldest is beconning me to the living room.  So, until the next time I get a long chunk of time during which to indulge in blogging. . . 

As Advent and Christmas turned out to be slightly less than what I had hoped for spiritually speaking, I'm making a concerted effort to focus on Christ this Lent and to draw my children into the meaning of it all.  We've all come up with our fasts and acts of service.  For the kids they are small yet require much toddler effort -- we are, as a family, fasting fast food!  This is difficult for little ones -- maybe more so for their sometimes tired momma.  Additionally we are "helping one another" this Lent.  Gordon is helping Teeny make her bed every morning, Teeny is helping with Bud-Jack's diaper changes, and Bud-Jack. . . well, he's helping daddy smile at the end of those long days at work.  We are using both this road map to Lent as well as these verses and symbols for the Lent Cross in our daily morning prayers and evening Bible readings -- the kids love taping stuff up on the chart, and it seems to really drive home the point, at least with Gordon.  I'm also planning on using these Lenten Sunday bedtime ideas.

On a personal note, I'm trying (as much as a nursing mother can) to eat more simply on my Fridays.  I'm by no means rigid, but I figure I can do what I can.  And, I love food -- LOVE it -- so this is sometimes a struggle.  As far as my acts of service to God, my intention was to read through the entire Bible in 40 days.  Yes, yes, I realized pretty quickly that this goal is a bit too lofty.  So, what will I come up with to replace it?

Well, what I've read is to think about those areas that are struggle areas for you -- areas in which you consistently fall short or sin often -- and then sort of mold your fasting and serving around those areas.  My biggest sins are those of irritability, anger, and anxiety.  Based on my readings in 2006, the best way to eliminate these sort of emotions is to simplify.  So, maybe I'll take a long, hard look at what is complicating and cluttering my life (both physically and emotionally/spiritually) and weed those things out over the next 40 days. 

If you asked my husband what my act of service for Lent should be, he would say. . .  well, I'll leave that one to your imaginations.  And while it seems a bit ludicrous, it really isn't such a bad idea in theory (or even in practice).  The fact of the matter is that we (and some of our friends) are watching marriages crumble to the ground left and right.  It is frightening, really.  And all the sadness of these breaking marriages has led me to really take a step back and take a good look at my own marriage and myself as a wife.  Am I praying daily for Jason, for our marriage?  Am I putting Jason first (second only to God, Himself) in my life?  Does Jason know that he is the most important person in my life?  Do I make myself indispensible to him by nurturing and helping him in every area of his life?  Do I allow him to lead in every situation in our family -- even when I think he's wrong?  Am I looking to Jason to make me happy and getting disgruntled when he falls short of my expectations?  Am I getting frustrated and angry when things are less-than-wonderful or do I forgive and sacrifice my own "rights" and "wants"?  Am I allowing my marriage to make me more like Christ -- giving, forgiving, full of unconditional and limitless grace and mercy?  Or am I allowing my marriage to make me more fleshly -- self-centered, unforgiving, and full of pride and judgement?

I believe that, if I allow God to really work in MY life, this Lent might dramatically improve my relationship with Jason, the atmosphere of my home, and my relationship with Christ.

And for a good book on the subject of marriage, I HIGHLY recommend Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.

Click here to support Jason and contribute a gift to the National Walk for Epilepsy.

I was working in a maternity home when Jason and I got married.  I absolutely loved it there, it was great to minister in such a unique way to such a unique group of people.  Jason loved it too; but, as he was a man, the opportunities for ministry there were somewhat limited.  However, the desire to be in some form of ministry took root in his heart and lead to our moving to a children's home in rural Virginia.  We began working in a girl's cottage, since that was what I was most familiar with; but the Lord quickly arranged for us to move into a boy's cottage. . . and it was great!

Now, Jason only worked in the cottage for a few months before being offered a job in administration at the home.  I stayed on, sharing the resident assistant role with my dear friend Misty until I became pregnant and couldn't physically handle the long hours any more (it was my first pregnancy, I was a wimp!).

I have so many funny memories from working with those boys.  Jason began with the boys about a month before I did, and I remember him calling for me to come down to the basement of the boy's cottage one Saturday afternoon to see what he and the guys had been doing.  There were just two boys at the time, and they had gone hunting around campus that morning.  They found a shed full of old, half-dilapedated bikes.  They somehow got them all to the basement and set up a little bike shop.  They took off and discarded the rusty and broken parts and pieced together what they had left.  They got dirty and sweaty and, at the end of it all, had about four or five interesting bikes to show for their hard work.  These bikes made me crack up, and they didn't mind my laughing.  They also didn't mind riding these bikes around campus for months to come, showing off their handy work.

I remember taking the boys to see the movie A Knight's Tale.  Of course we all loved the movie, and when we got home they took their funny bikes and pretended to joust in the backyard. 

One boy, I remember, helped me track down and capture a stray kitten at church one Wednesday night.  The cat looked and acted so much like this particular boy that I seriously thought about naming the cat after him.  But, since we already had two cats named after teas, I went with Gingko.

It is funny to me just how different boys are from girls.  I remember the day that this fact really hit me.  I was working with my good friend Misty this particular day.  We were all sitting at the breakfast table.  I'm not exactly sure how the "skirmish" began, I just know that two of the boys began irritating each other some how.  Quicker than I or Misty could think, threats were shouted, ignored, and followed through on.  The two boys were flinging chairs aside and punching eachother in no time.  Horrified, as we girls can get around such violence, Misty and I rushed the presumed perpetrator to his room and quickly retreated to the staff lounge (just next to the dining area) to figure out what on earth we were going to do.  While we were avidly perusing staff manuals and worriedly discussing the horrible beginning to this day we heard two calm, civil voices out at the table.  "Sorry, man."  "No problem."  And with that it was over.  As if it had never even happened!  Misty and I were astonished.  All we could do was laugh at how wierd this was to us.  We were sure we were going to be breaking up fights all day; but, no, boys don't linger as we women do.

This home was in the mountains of rural Virginia.  Many of our boys had never been outside the county lines -- had never seen tall buildings or beaches.  I remember the look on one boy's face the first time he saw the vast expanse of the ocean, and the cries of amazement at his first glimpse of a skyscraper.

I remember reading Tom Sawyer out loud to one boy with a learning diasability.  Those were probably the best hours of that job.  Reading for work.

I remember a new couple of brothers asking me to please make banana bread for them their first night at the cottage.  Of course I willingly obliged.  I also enjoyed playing checkers with the younger brother every night that first couple weeks before he went to bed.

I remember taking them to the 'skate park" just about every weekend and hearing "Watch this, Miss Erika" over and over and over.  I never tired of oohing and ahhing for them, and they soaked it up every time as if they were parched for words of praise and affirmation.

I remember running a covert operation with a group of them in an attempt to go out for the day without attracting the attention of a misbehaved boy.  I let the natural leader of the group know the plan -- I was going to drive the van around back and he was going to lead the others quietly out the side door and run to the van with them.  The misbehaved boy was not to know as he would have surely run out too and hopped, literally,  on top of the van -- in fact, I think he had hopped on the top of the van already that day.  Our plan worked.  Poor Misty had to stay behind.

I remember coming up with a system for our youngest boy in an attempt to encourage more consistent positive behavior.  I also remember the day he got perfect scores on this system.  We had a big party for him with a cake and everything.  All the boys got into cheering him on.

In fact, they always got into cheering eachother on.  There was one evening when a particularly 'chubby' boy decided to "go into training."  I remember the boys out front, running laps around the circle with him, chanting little military "one, two, three, four's" wih him and telling him he could do it.

I remember taking the whole load of them to pick up our cottage's high school wrestler from a meet.  When he got in the car he told us he had won his meet, so we headed straight for the ice cream shop; and then, when we got home, mid-winter, we had him hop out in his little wrestling garb and run a victory lap around the circle as we drove behind honking the horn and screaming out the windows of the 15 passenger van.

And, on a more somber note, I remember 9/11.  I was on my way back from taking our youngest to school when I heard the news on the radio.  I remember all the emotions I felt that week.  I also remember how serious and concerned those boys were.  How they wanted to do something, talk, show their support.  I remember taking them to pray around the flag on the circle.  We lit candles and were slowly joined by other cottages.  I remember their proud, man-like talk of war and defending their country.  I remember some of them talking about knowing how to handle a rifle and being ready to defend us if things got really bad.  So young, yet so brave.

Well, enough reminiscing.  I have hundreds of memories I could share, but I would only bore you.  So I'll sit here and savor them myself.

Boys Climbing a Tree, Cartoon for a Tapestry, 1790-92

While I finished Little Men some time ago, I'm just now getting around to posting my favorite quotes -- you know, raising kids and Christmas and all. . .  I really loved Little Men.  While it may not be the "great work of literature" that Little Women is regarded as, it really hit a soft spot in my heart.  I have worked with pregnant young ladies, girls of varying ages, and boys of varying ages, all at different times in my life.  While I know God has called me to minister to pregnant girls or women in crisis pregnancy, I truly enjoyed my time working in a boys cottage of a children's home.  Boys are just great -- so unique and different from girls.  While girls can be petty, manipulative, and emotionally crippling; boys are pretty up-front, forgiving, and friendly.  As I read Little Men I was filled with memories of my time in the boys cottage, and I plan to share some of those memories in the next few days.  But, for now, here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

HONORING HUSBAND

". . .Mrs. Jo felt that she had received the best her husband could give her, by saying that he found his truest rest and happiness in her society." (pg. 221)

"Daisy knew nothing about woman's rights; she quietly took all she wanted, and no one denied her claim, because she did not undertake what she could not carry out, but unconsiously used the all-powerful right of her own influence to win from others any privilege for which she had proved her fitness." (pg. 251)

RAISING CHILDREN

"His uncle was fitting him for college, and his aunt for a happy home of his own hereafter, because she carefully fostered in him gentle manners, love of children, respect for women, old and young, and helpful ways about the house." (pg. 19)

". . .Grandpa March cultivated the little mind with the tender wisdom of a modern Pythagoras -- not tasking it with long, hard lessons, parrot-learned, but helping it to unfold as naturally and beautifully as sun and dew help roses bloom." (pg. 20)

"There were no rewards in school, but Mr. Bhaer's 'Well done!' and Mrs. Bhaer's good report on the conscience book taught them to love duty for its own sake, and try to do it faithfully, sure that sooner or later the recompense would come." (pg. 120)

"July had come, and haying begun; the little gardens were doing fine, and the long summer days were full of pleasant hours.  The house stood open from morning till night, and the lads lived out of doors, except at school-time.  The lessons were short, and there were many holidays, for the Bhaers believed in cultivating healthy bodies by much exercise, and our short summers are best used in out-of-door work." (pg. 150)

". . .she believed that the small hopes and plans and pleasures of children should be tenderly respected by grown-up people, and never rudely thwarted or ridiculed." (pg.189)

". . .she liked to have her penalties do their own work and did not spoil the effect by too much moralizing." (pg.213)

MANAGING HOME

". . .he loved these simple domestic festivals, and encouraged them with all his heart, for they made home so pleasant that the boys did not care to go elsewhere for fun." (pg. 351)

TIME FOR SELF

"I shall devote the whole of my plot to the largest crop of patience I can get, for that is what I need most." (pg. 45)

Oh, my.  January simply slays me.  It literally becomes an month of anxiety and stress over night.  Yes, around December 31 the wicked wheels in my brain begin spinning at an uncontrolable rate.  I spend countless hours coming up with ways to change, to iimprove.  My list quickly becomes insurmountable, and I loose precious sleep and allow my house to become a mess and neglect my children a bit as I attempt to figure out how to accomplish all my new goals -- things like get more sleep, get the house clean and organized, and spend more time with the kids.

A few years back, while I was telling a friend of all the Christian "self-help" books I was reading and all the lists I was making, I was introduced to a wonderful book.  My friend meekly smiled and said that she had just the book I needed -- the only one, outside the Bible, that I needed to read for a while.  I was so excited, convinced she had found a book that covered all my weaknesses and a step-by-step plan to overcome each one.  I must admit I was a bit dismayed when she handed me what looked just like a children's book.  It was a small, square, hard-backed book.  The cover was green, and the slip-jacket bore a watercolor of a fruitful vine.  I thanked her for the book and waited until I got to my car to roll my eyes. 

But, I did look through the book a few days later, and it absolutely changed my life.  The book was a story based on John 15:1-8.  It told of a small, sickly plant who would look out his window every day at the strong vine across the way.  He wished he could be strong like and was so sad that he wasn't strong and flourishing.  One day a gardener takes the sick little plant and grafts it into the strong vine.  The plant is so excited and immediately begins to feel strong and healthy.  It doesn't take long, however, for the plant to get a little, shall we say, bummed out.  He looks at the other branches on the vine and notices that some of them are bearing lots and lots of fruit.  He knows this fruit makes the gardener happy, and he wants to bear fruit like that too, so he will please the gardener.  He begins to strain and struggle to make himself bear fruit; but the more he strives, the weaker he becomes.  It is at this point that the gardener tells him to stop trying; all he has to do is "abide" in the vine, and the vine will give all that the branch needs to bear fruit.  As soon as the branch stops striving, and just abides, he begins to get strong again and eventually bear fruit and then more fruit.

The book (the name and author of which I cannot remember, unfortunately) does not end there, but that was what I needed at the time. . . and what I continue to need every January.

I had a long list of "New Year's Resolutions."  Of course my biggy is to get organized, but somehow that seemed to simple.  But what is wrong with simple, for it is simplicity that brings with it peace and freedom from anxiety.

So, I'm trading in my list of twenty some resolutions for one big project (get organized) and a handfull of prayer requests to seek God's guidance and strength in.

Lord, help me this year to talk to You more.  Capture my attention through the day, so that I am brought to my knees in prayer and praise often.  Help me to take better care of myself, my body and emotions.  Help me to make Jason feel more important to me.  Help me to nurture my kids and provide for them a more consistent and healthy life style.  I can do none of this on my own, so stop me in my tracks when I start my manic listing and planning.  Help me put down my pen and turn to You in prayer.  Help me to listen to You.  In Jesus name, Amen.

December Memories in brief:

Jesus was not quite as front and center of our family holidays as I would like.  Rather than wallow in despair over this, I choose to plan better for next year.

I forgot to take pictures on Christmas Day.  Okay, shoot me!  I despaired over it for a bit then thought, "If Mary had had a digital camera, would she have taken pictures of Christ's birth to post on Flickr?"  I think not.  I followed her example and pondered things in my heart.

Jason's such a great husband.  He has always wanted to get me jewelry for Christmas (I guess all those jewelry store commercials get to him).  Unfortunately, I'm not the jewelry type.  So, I asked for a nice, pretty watch for Christmas and made the man happy.  The things that please my husband -- listening to me sing carols and buying me jewelry.  What do I have to complain about?!

Gordon had a truly magical Christmas.  He's at the age of really "getting" Christmas and Santa.  I dread the change in the next couple years.  But I'll cherish the memories.

Teeny was my more spiritually-minded child this Christmas.  She stated, firmly and with conviction, that it was Jesus who was bringing the gifts Christmas Eve.  And she never once wavered from this belief.  Also, she was frequently heard singing, "Holy night, holy night, holy night, holy night, holy night, holy night, holy night. . ."

This was Bud-Jack's first Christmas.  He received some toys and clothes from the grandparents and a homemade lovey made of a tossed-aside teddy bear and an old receiving blanket from me.  He was pleased.

The tree was fake and tackilly clad in both large and small, colored and white lights, tinsel "boa-like" garland, and the ornaments that have, so far, survived small children.  But it was beautiful, and I'm already wishing I hadn't taken it down just yet.

Can't wait till next year.  Planning already.  But it won't take up so much time now, so I should be back to posting more regularly now.

I found out the day after Christmas that my Grandma L. passed away Christmas Eve.  My parents are up visiting on their way to and from the funeral, and it is nice to get an unexpected Christmas-time visit from them.  I know the kids are enjoying their company.  It is a strange thing when someone you were related to, yet not at all close to, dies.  There seems to be a feeling of obligation to mourn their passing, a little guilt over not attending the funeral.  Unfortunately I was never very close to this particular Grandma.

However, I do have some fairly nice memories of Grandma L., and the least I can do is honor her memory by sharing those with others.

Big blonde wigs.

Soft, wrinkled skin.

Eyes that showed excitement at the mere sight of a child.

Strong Philly accent.

"God bless ya," "Isn't she precious," "God love ya."

The strangely woodsy smell of a city backyard.

Blueberries in milk, triscuits, London broil, and sloppy pizza.

Tight hugs and excited pinches on the cheeks.

Rigorous, welcoming kisses.

Shopping -- oh how she loved to shop.

And the family favorite. . .

Grandma L. came to visit while I was potty training.  I was very intrigued with the bathroom habits of others at the time; so when she went in the bathroom and shut the door, I laid down on the ground outside the door to listen.  When I heard that Grandma L. was successfully potty trained, I cheered from the hall, "Good girl, Grandma!"

. . .she loved to tell that story.

Kids Baking I

• 2c. Shortening
• 6 Eggs
• 1tsp. Vanilla
• 1c. Sugar
• 2c. Brown Sugar
• 7c. All Purpose Flour
• 4tsp. Cream of Tartar
• 4tsp. Baking Soda
• 2tsp. Salt
• A couple dashes of Ground Nutmeg (optional)
• 1 bag Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
• 1 bag Mini Hershey Kisses (or Milk Chocolate Chips)
• 1 box of White Baking Chocolate, chopped

So, I've always done family devos with the kids at breakfast after Jason leaves for work.  Likewise, I never ever do devos in front of company.  Why?  Very silly really:  I hate singing in front of other people, and our devos always involve hymn singing.  (I won't even sing with the windows open in the spring for fear the neighbors might hear me.)

Well, I went out on a limb this Christmas season and decided to do our Advent devos at dinner so Jason could lead them.  All went well this past Sunday at dinner until it came time to sing the Christmas hymn.  I asked Jason (who has a great singing voice, and I'm not just biased. . .) to lead the singing.  He gave me a mischievous grin and said, "No, you do that part."  I threw out excuses and exasperated groans all to which he replied, "If you don't do the singing, we just won't do it."  Aaargghhh!  Fine!

So I sang (blushing all the way).

And do you know what that man of mine wanted to do last night after dinner for leisure?

He turned off the living room lights, plugged in the tree lights, laid down on the sofa with the kids, and asked me to *sing Christmas songs to them*.  What!? 

There's just no use fighting it.  Jason wants me to sing (and I *don't* have a good voice).  But, why should I deprive the man of what he wants for Christmas?  Besides, now that I've been freed from the bondage of "closet singing," I think family devos will permentantly be at dinner so Jason can lead them -- as well he should.

Jason has been out of town for a few days; and, let me tell you, last night was rough.  I always remember just how important Jason is to my sanity when he has goes out of town on business.

The kids were especially disobedient and rowdy and loud last night. . . I think they know when I'm at my weakest. . . but then, I should probably remember that I don't wrestle with my kids, I wrestle with "principalities and powers" who know when I'm at my weakest.  At any rate, I was weak.  I broke, several times.  I had spent an entire day cleaning and trying to talk an obstinate 4 year old into letting me read to him, not to mention shouting out threats and praying for help and crying at my lack of grace.

At the end of the day, I got them all in bed and just heaved a heavy sigh. . . and thought of their faces.  In spite of their sometimes "wicked ways," they really are an innocent little group.  Why do I find it so hard to show unconditional love?  Why do I so easily loose patience with such a cute and lovable bunch of kids?  They look to me with expectation, with trust, with confidence, with peace (as in the no-worries sort of peace).  Why do I so often fail and return their looks with anger?

Lord, help me never forget just how blest I am to have these three children.  They give me reason to be better, to want more, to try harder. . . to lean more fully on You.  Help me to live up to their expectations; but, more importantly, let me please You in everything I say and do with my children each day.

While I had hoped to celebrate Stir-Up Sunday with great flare -- baking bread, making wishes, saying prayers, and pulling out all the Christmas fare -- due to the flu (yeah!) things just didn't happen as planned.  None-the-less, we all had a good time celebrating a small, early Christmas with my mother-in-law before she left to go back to Ohio. 

Jason did set up a ***fake*** Christmas tree.  I'm still sorta reeling over that one.  I consented under the agreement that I would get unlimited pine-scented candles through Epiphany.  And, I've consoled myself with the knowledge that the lights look much better when looking up through a fake tree than a real one (but that is just a strange fascination of mine that I've had since childhood).  We haven't decorated the tree yet, save for a couple cute beaded angel ornaments that my mother-in-law made for us; still, the tree has seen the first of the Christmas gifts (90% of which were for the kids -- just as they should be) and a quick and spirited unwrapping. 

Things are alot different this Christmas; and as I sit and put together an "Advent itinerary," I can't help but notice the difference.  The close friends that composed most of our social life in the Poconos have now been replaced by a block full of strangers and seemingly distant co-workers.  Still, I can know that I will have a husband home every weekend of the Christmas season to celebrate with me and the kids; and the block-full of strangers offers the much-needed and long-neglected challenge of being a light for Christ in the world -- that's something to be excited about.  I won't be looking out on acres of snow covered hills and pines this winter, but I will see my kids (if we can get over flus) playing with kids their own age out in the front yard as I did as a child.  The living room is smaller this year, but the presents will look more "abundant" that way.  Above all though, it will be more real than ever that I have with me at Christmas what matters most -- God, my husband, and my children.  What more could I possibly need or want.

So, with that in mind, I graciously welcome the new Advent season with all it's changes.  I ask the God who "knows my anxious thoughts" to change them into a new energy focused on discovering what really matters during the holidays.  I seek revelation, joy, peace. . . and all that other good stuff.

Let me be the first to wish all you, my family and friends, a blessed Advent season!

Happy Thanksgiving, Cooked Turkey

We had a nice, relaxed Thanksgiving.  That is what I love about staying home for holidays (though I'm only adament about Christmas).  Monday I attempted to spend time relaxing with the kids.  We watched movies and played and read, but I have to admit that it is really hard to sit and "do nothing" when to-do lists are beckoning from the computer desk.  Tuesday was cleaning day; and Wednesday was spent baking, baking, baking.  The kids helped a bit, though I think they were a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of items that had to be prepared -- four loaves of pumpkin bread, a pumpkin pie, a pecan pie, a cheeseball, and french onion dip.  Still, they added the cutest and probably most appreciated touch to the day:  they took a loaf of pumpkin bread to each of our neighbors. . . in the rain.  Needless to say they received a warm welcome at both homes.

Wednesday night they also went with Jason to pick Ging-Ging L. up from the airport.  Of course they are always thrilled to see Ging-Ging who comes bearing little gifts and lots of energy that momma seems to lack sometimes. 

Thursday began with the Macy's parade on TV, though the kids quickly dragged Ging-Ging downstairs to play most of the morning.  Since our turkey was a mere 10-pounder, and Jason likes eating festive meals mid-afternoon, I didn't have too much to do till noon.  So, I reveled in day-after-Thanksgiving ads.  There was really only one harried hour in my day -- that hour before eating when it feels you are suddenly having to prepare way too many dishes.  But can you have too much food on T-day?  I think not.

It struck me as funny when, at the end of the day, Jason sat down by me and said in a mopey voice, I feel like all I've done is lay around, watch TV, and eat all day.  WELL, DUH!  I told him to pull aside just about any man in America and he would find a sympathetic ear. 

So, what am I thankful for?

• A gracious, forgiving, and ever confident Father God.
• A wonderful Savior.
• The help and guidance of the Holy Spirit.  (I need it!)
• An ever growing and strengthening marriage to a wonderful man who challenges me (in a good way) and stretches me and forces me to really think for myself.
• A friendly big 4 year old boy who sometimes just melts my heart with the things he says.
• A beautiful 2 year old girl who loves to give me kisses and hugs.
• A sweet-as-can-be 6 month old boy who smiles EVERY TIME he sees me, even if he is in the middle of crying his little eyes out.
• Two parents who I KNOW pray dilegently for me, Jason, and our children EVERY SINGLE DAY.  (Don't know how we'd make it through without those prayers.)
• A brother whom I have great memories with (like singing oldies in the car on the way to grandma's one summer).
• Two in-laws who love their grandchildren enormously.  Couldn't ask for more giving grandparents.
• A sister-in-law who never fails to make me laugh -- she is very gifted that way -- so funny when she wants to be.
• Good friends in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and Virginia. . . the kind that you know you'll be communicating with for years and years to come.
• A wonderful aunt who has been much closer than any aunt to me my whole life.  (It's always nice to know you have someone like that in your corner.)
• And then, of course, all the physical things: home, health, food, clothing. . .  God provides!

And, for those looking for good recipe's, here's what was on the menu:

• Roast turkey (of course).
• Crock-Pot Stuffing.
• Philadelphia Potatoes (used full fat cream cheese and half-n-half).
• Sweet Potatoes (from a can) with this Pecan Marshmallow Streusel (I added some shredded coconut).
• Green Bean Casserole (always a must).
• Corn.
• Cranberry Salad (one can cranberry sauce + chopped apple or orange + cinnamon or nutmeg + chopped pecans, walnuts, or celery + apple juice or orange juice + strawberry jam).
• Green Goop (an L family tradition) (a small tub of Cool Whip + a small can of crushed pineapple + a package of pistachio pudding mix).
• Delicious Pumpkin Bread.
• Apple pie from our wonderful neighbors.
• Pumpkin Pie.
• Pecan Pie (from The Lady and Sons, Too! plus extra pecans).
• Pumpkin Cheese Ball with crackers.
• Lipton French Onion Dip with chips and pretzels.
• Curry Dip with veggies (I used sour cream instead of mayo and added extra curry powder -- we love curry).
• Sugar and Spice Dip with apple slices (a small tub of Cool Whip + 1/4c. Brown sugar + 1/4tsp. Cinnamon + Dash Nutmeg).

Phew!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Okay, so, really, a perfect marriage is not possible.  You know, thanks to the fall and us being human and all. . . but still, just as we are to strive toward the perfection of Christ in our personal life, we ought to strive toward that same perfection in each of our relationships.

I spent the month of October focusing on my marriage.  Well, that is to say that I did alot of reading on the subject, and alot of thinking; but not enough putting into practice what I read and thought.  Perhaps I over-complicate things like that so that the doing seems too daunting to begin.  Perhaps I get so caught up in the raising of children and the keeping of the home that I neglect my marriage and "put my husband on the shelf."  At any rate, Jason made it quite clear the other afternoon that he felt the neglect when he said, "Why don't you find some blogs for wives instead of all these blogs for moms?. . .  Hey, I know, why don't you start a blog just about marriage."  Poor thing.  I'm obviously not doing so good at making him feel important.  So, I spent some time thinking about what exactly is missing from my marriage -- what wifely roles am I neglecting -- that, if attended to would make Jason feel like a king and make the marriage feel more like the blessing that it should be.

I came up with Four Ps for a "Perfect" Marriage:

Pray

It is sad, and quite humbling, to admit that, while I pray for my husband, I do not pray as I ought.  My prayers are more the quick habit of the morning or the frustrated cries to God through the weekend.  I own a copy of The Power of a Praying Wife, and I've come across a very interesting Month of Prayer for Your Husband post; but I have not been faithful in unselfishly and faithfully praying for Jason.  Prayer for one's husband should be not be a flight of fancy, it should be a commitment to be a prayer warrior on behalf of the one that God has called you to be a helpmeet to.

Prioritize

Jason usually gets the last couple hours of my day, if that.  In the morning, it is time for God followed by dressing the kids and making them breakfast.  Although I do follow him to the door with a hug goodbye, that is about all the attention he gets in the morning.  Throughout the day I get wrapped up in the housekeeping and childraising, and often don't think much about my husband unless he "interrupts" the day with a phone call or unless I need something and find myself shooting a request via e-mail his way.  When he comes home I am usually grabbing my aching head or covering my tired ears as I scurry through the kitchen cooking or feed a baby or chase down a stinky diaper.  After dinner I clean, chase kids, or colapse into a tired heap in front of the television.  Add to that seasonal demands (like Christmas shopping), and Jason is lucky to get me from 10pm until we go to bed.  Again, it is my horrible habit of putting him on the shelf.  How do you prioritize a husband when the children and the house seem to demand so much though?. . .

Please

I'm in the middle of reading The Pace of a Hen (which is a wonderful book that I can't wait to share more of with you later).  In the chapter on marriage, the author, Josephine Benton, suggests coming up with a short list of things that you can do to make your husband's life more "pleasant."  This is not to be a complicated list of time-consuming projects, rather a short and simple list of easy-to-do tasks that will make your husband smile.  For Jason, it is things like, making a cup of coffee for him each morning, staying caught up on laundry, greeting him each evening with a smile on my face, and keeping the living room and kitchen picked up.

Personalize

And by personalize I mean "get intimate."  Just as women yearn for emotional connection, men yearn for physical connection.  I've learned alot about men, or at least my man, and physical intimacy in the last year or so.  First of all, I've learned that it isn't all about what happens in the bedroom.  Jason often wants a nice wet kiss in the middle of the day just so he can feel physically connected with me.  Husbands want intimate physcial contact through the day. . . not to "get ready for tonight" but just to connect.  Also, when it comes to physical intimacy in the bedroom, it is truly important to men, whether they say so or not, that the woman enjoy the experience as well.  There is nothing personal or intimate about a one-way physical experience.  Lastly, it is important for the woman to let go of inhibitions in the bedroom.  This can be difficult.  Many of us have been raised in Christian homes where physical intimacy, in its many forms, was blushed at to say the least.  Without going into detail, it is time to let go of your inhibitions, kick mom and dad out of your bedroom (figuratively, for, hopefully, they are not physcially in there), and let your time spent together be personal -- you and him.  Let it be a time to let go of self in order to serve your husband.

It is easy to remember "The Four Ps", but Practice is what makes perfect.  So pray to God for help, encouragement, strength, energy, gentle reminders, and even desire; and then look at each day as an opportunity to practice praying for, prioritizing, pleasing and getting personal with your husband.

I've been feeling like I'm stuck in a whirl wind lately.  So much activity both physical and mental. . . feels like mostly mental. 

My high school buddy, Debbie, came to town with her three children for a few days.  We had a great time shuffling six kids (all under the age of 6) around town, shocking people's socks off.  It was certainly a challenge at times, but we had some good laughs, good conversation, and I know the kids loved getting to play with eachother.

After Debbie and her crew left for home, I began preparations to go to a wedding in Virginia.  My good friend, Misty, who worked in the boys cottage at the children's home Jason and I used to work at, FINALLY got married to the man of her dreams -- our old director, Ronnie.  CONGRATULATIONS AND PRAISE THE LORD!!!  It required a 7hr. drive there, two nights at a hotel (during which Gordon and I both came down with quick fevers), and a 7hr. drive back; but it was so worth it.  We had an absolute blast catching up with old friends and co-workers -- it was like getting together with family, we just started right back where we left off, as if we'd never left.  And, of course, it was such a blessing to see my friend's prayers answered.

Now, I'm preparing for an out of town dinner guest tomorrow, so I'm cleaning alot.  There are also grocery lists and shopping trips, holiday preparations and plans, a wonderful mother-in-law on her way to town next week for the holiday. . . and, most pressing, Gordon's fourth birthday!  He turned four yesterday, but has no idea.  We decided to hold off on celebrating till Saturday when we are making a trip back up to the Poconos so Gordon can celebrate with his "best friend, Ethan."  I'm so excited for him, so thankful to Ethan's mom, Kolleen, and so busy trying to get the house in order before we leave. . .

But, in honor of Gordon's birthday, here are some then and now pics for you.

Gordon's first couple hours spent with his daddy. . . and he's still a daddy's boy through and through.

Gordon's first birthday.  He had a face only a mother could love!

Gordon's second birthday.  Look at those curls!  I could just cry.  Hold on while I get a tissue.

Gordon at three years old.  Not sure why I don't have pictures from his third birthday; but I know we always celebrate big, so I don't really feel too guilty.

A recent picture of a not-quite-four-year-old Gordon.  He has become quite a big boy.  It happened so quickly, I hardly noticed.  And I guess that is the moral:  pay as much attention to those kiddos while you can because time really does fly.

Halloween came and went with much fun. . . and candy.  As I sit here typing I am sacrificing my teeth and figure for the sake of my children.  Ok, so, I'm really enjoying the easy access to a bucket-full of candy.  But I probably really am sacrificing my teeth and what is left of my figure.  The 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies that Jason bought me are surely not helping either. 

Anyway, Halloween was fun from the get-go.  We had waffle jack-o-lanterns for breakfast (waffles with faces made of cut up sausage patties), fingers (cut up hot dogs tipped with mustard) and toes (baby carrots) for lunch, and worms and eyeballs (spaghetti and meatballs) for dinner -- all served with OJ on white grape juice ice cubes with gummy worms frozen in.

Everyone was eager to get to trick-or-treating after dinner.  So we threw the two kids together -- Gordon was Bob the Builder and Teeny was a chicken -- in record time and made it out the door shortly after the other neighborhood kids started out.  It was really the best Halloween experience I think I've ever had.  Living in town homes, you are naturally close to your neighbors, for better or worse.  Halloween night was one of the better times.  Since it was nice and surprisingly warm out, I sat out on the front steps with the baby and chatted with my many neighbors as Jason took the kids around a block or two.  When all the neighborhood kids returned they ran up and down the sidewalk burning off sugar as quickly as they put it in while the parents sat, chatted, and passed out candy.  It really was just plain enjoyable!

For All Saints Day we talked about heaven and who lives in heaven -- deep enough conversation for the young fry of this house.  And, of course, we had a pleasant candle light dinner. 

All Souls Day I talked with Gordon about my paternal grandfather -- his greatgrandpa -- who passed away when I was a freshman in college.  It was nice to share little stories -- pleasant memories -- with my son.  I told him about how my Grandpa took me to a pond to feed canned corn to the ducks and squirrels who would literally come right up and almost eat right out of your hand.  I told him how Grandpa called me Pumpkin and Dutchess.  I told him how Grandpa loved to fish more than just about anything else, but not as much as he loved doing things with his family.  He had his faults, as we all do; but he always seemed to me a generous man who just loved when he was able to put a smile on the face of one of his grandchildren.  I shared these and others, and Gordon even asked for more which made me realize just how important it is for me to be sure to tell my children family stories.  I need to tell any story I can remember being told as a child and then pass own my own as well.  I need to tell them over and over so as to help my children connect with their heritage . . . and provide them with stories to share with their own children one day.

So, our Halloween was not about ghosts and goblins and the Devil.  It was about God's protection, love, and provision.  It was about the hope we have of going to heaven to live with Jesus when we die.  It was about remembering the dead not as scary spirits but as dearly loved family with whom we share many fond memories.

When the Elect Arrive at the Gates of Heaven They are Greeted by a Crowd of Welcoming Angels

After All Saints Day, Catholics traditionally celebrate All Souls Day.  All Souls Day is typically dedicated to praying for the souls of the “faithful departed.”  According to Catholic doctrine, all those in the “communion of saints” or body of Christ are still tainted by sin when they die and are, therefore, not yet ready to stand before God in Heaven.  These “tainted” Christians, instead, go to purgatory, where they undergo a final cleansing from all sins before entering Heaven and the presence of God.  Catholics believe that they can hasten the cleansing by praying for those in purgatory. 

While you may not be Catholic, you can still celebrate a few All Souls Day traditions to carry out the meaning of Halloween an extra day.  Here are a few suggestions:

All Saints Day -- Wednesday, November 1

It is important to drive home to our children the idea that Halloween celebrations are not just about candy and ghosts and goblins and jack-o-lanterns.  Just like Christmas and Easter, there really is a deeper meaning behind the festivities; so, just like Christmas and Easter, I recommend spreading out the Halloween celebration over a couple days to include All Saints Day and All Souls Day.  In the Catholic church, All Saints Day began as a day to remember all who have been martyred for their faith in Jesus Christ.  Eventually, the Catholic church began to include anyone who had died as a saint, whether canonized as a saint or not.  All Saints Day is sort of like Memorial Day.  On Memorial Day we honor the lives of all who died for our country, whether we know them or not.  On All Saints Day we honor the lives of those who died in service to the Lord, whether we know them or not.

All Saints Day offers us an opportunity to draw our children’s attention away from the gory pictures of death they may have seen recently at department store Halloween displays and focus it on eternal life with Christ.  Here are a few ideas to help you begin some important traditions on All Saints Day.