Reforming Motherhood

Apr. 4, 2006 - Current Struggles

Some things go right, some things don’t. Have you noticed this? Well here is a struggle I am having as I am just barely getting started in this world of “official” homeschooling. Let me just interrupt to say that I get that homeschooling starts the minute one becomes a mom, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I am now actually trying to accomplish some goals with my boys, well my two older ones anyway. And can I just say, I NEED MORE HOURS IN THE DAY! I think it is hilarious that I am even saying this because I know many a mom who are looking at the clock waiting for the day to be over. And I will admit that in that last bit while we are waiting for daddy to come home, I have been known to be clock gazing. But really, I am finding it very difficult to do very little purposeful “bookwork” with the boys. So, please tell me you wiser women who have been there (as I am VERY green at this) does it get easier? Does something magically click into place and the one page a day that I am teaching my oldest to read and the few worksheets a week that we try to do turn into more? The issues I am having include 15 month old upset because he is not getting attention, the child I am not working with interrupting, a dirty diaper, a nose that needs wiped and various other mishaps (someone gets hurt, or stuck, or someone calls, or I spill my coffee, I really could go on). Now, I know that I need to train the baby. And I’m working on it --I am. Don’t worry. I believe God’s Word and I know that I am the boss and that baby can learn to be content not being the center. I am working on it. But anyone who has been there knows that training the baby means stopping what you are doing and in order to do that. Thus we don’t get far. And I have to deal with mommy guilt too. Like “is this asking too much that baby plays ALL ALONE (or with only one brother) for 30 minutes?” And, if we do accomplish that how much can I really do in 15 minutes per boy? I think my motives and goals are reasonable. I am not trying to keep up with the Jones’s really I’m not, I am simply wanting to capitalize on the fact that my five-year-old is wanting to learn to read and when we can focus enough to do it he excels. And my three-year-old relishes the 15 minutes of sitting on my lap “doing school.” I have found the excellent web site preschoolersandpeace.com and I am beginning to employ some of her excellent ideas. I’m just asking will we get there? Will it happen? Or am I too far to hope to arrive anytime soon?

I have to be honest and say that I am really embarrassed to write this. I mean, I believe in well-trained children. I believe in self-discipline. I believe in reading God’s Word and asking for His help. But the paragraph above betrays that my practices are not lining up with my beliefs. I could delete it and you would never know my struggles. But I want help and stories of others who have been at this beginning stage more than I want to look like I’ve got it all together. Plus a little humility never hurt anyone.

-Amy

Apr. 4, 2006 - No experience here, just the same scenerio.

Posted by kawc

Sorry I can't speak from experience of the been there got through that, but I can say that I am right there with you. I can really relate to everything you are saying. My boys are almost 6, 4.5 and 13 months and this is our first year on record with the oldest. The baby can make short work of the living room while the boys and I are doing our work at the table. The 4yo is easy going but not good about going off to play on his own, unless there is a tv involved. The oldest only does his work if I sit by him and "hold his hand" every step of the way.
On my good days, I manage to distract the baby with different toys every 10 minutes or so, and get he boys through with their table work before lunch. On my off days. we start after lunch, the baby is constantly into things he shouldn't be and I want to send my oldest off to school. And of course its those days that I watch the clock, not just longing for daddy to be home, but longing for their bedtime.
It has not been easy, nor pretty, nor anything like the ideal picture that I had in my head. At the same time it has been an amazing, rewarding, blessing watching my kids learn and grow and knowing that they are having a Christ-centered education at home with me. Its nice to know that I am not the only one struggling to juggle all the plates. - katie

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Apr. 5, 2006 - It's probably just all the coffee

Posted by Mike

I know it can be a struggle, but it always is when we don't get to see the parts that He has kept hidden.

I know that you are cultivating a love for learning in our boys and helping them to love each other at the same time--as long as that is taking place, and God's Word is at the center of all the learning that takes place--I think we're going to be alright.

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Apr. 5, 2006 - Amy...

Posted by PreschoolersandPeace

Thanks for your kind words about Preschoolers and Peace. And though I haven't arrived (good golly, you should have HEARD the way my children were speaking to one another today :( ), I'll share with you something a mother of ten once said to me... "precept upon precept".

It really is that simple. Precept upon precept, in God's way, in God's time, by God's Word.

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Apr. 6, 2006 - Don't be discouraged and keep up the good work!

Posted by Anonymous

Amy, not that I have any expertise in the matter since I'm expecting my first, I wanted to comment on how amazing it is to look at my nephews and see all that they have learned. I am often very much impressed. Point is, though its hard right now and there's a lot of adjusting, it might be hard for you to see the progress as fast happening as I see it. I think your doing an excellent job. I'm encouraged by you and your hard work with them. Your patience is key and even though you guys can only work on projects little bits at a time those little bits at a time are huge!

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Jan. 4, 2007 - I have been blessed

Posted by Anonymous

Thank you for your site. I am struggling with 3 children (31/2, 2 and 7 mos). The Lord has shown me recently that I need more structure and so I am going to try out a new program, Little Hands to Heaven. I have recently been entertaining thoughts of being single and childless. I know of course that this is wrong but I am feeling so incompetent and It just seems that I cannot get anything done whatsoever. Just as someone poops, another needs water at the same time that another is crying from falling out of a chair. As I write this I am seeing how negative I am being and I am being directed to Phillipians 4:8 I suppose sometimes it takes reaching out and letting it all out to hear the Holy Spirit. I know that the Lord always makes a way, I just need to rely on Him. And I have been failing at that lately. However, I found your site just in time. The Lord is so good and always knows what we need. I praise His name that He impressed you to put together this site, I am sure that you have been reaching and ministering to many mothers. Keep it up according to the Lord's will. He will Bless.

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