Yesterday I wrote about Lou Priolo's book Teach Them Diligently. If you missed that and would like to read it, go here. Today I am going to share what I intend to do with what I gleaned from that book.
Priolo was hard-hitting in his position that if you aren't using the Bible when you discipline your child, you aren't disciplining biblically.
I do try to use the Bible as I discipline, but I end up using the same few verses over and over again. A couple of examples:
Me: "What was our 'C verse'?" (from our ABC Bible Verses book)
Child: "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord."
Me: "That's right, honey. And you did not obey mommy when I asked you to come here."
Or
Me: "Honey, I just saw you push your brother. Is hitting kind or rude?"
Child: "Rude."
Me: "That's right. And the Bible says that 'love is not rude'."
And then there are the times when I simply say, "Do not push your brother." Or, "You need to obey me when I say _______(whatever it is I say)." The times when I don't bring what God has to say about it into our conversation at all. If I'm honest, those times outweigh the times that I really take the time to do it right.
Okay, back to the book.
Midway through the book, Priolo writes,
We all have our own unique styles of sinning. While it is true there is no temptation that can overtake us "but such as is common to man" (1 Corin. 10:13), it is also true that each of us is tempted when we are carried away and enticed by our own desires (James 1:14).
Priolo then encourages parents to identify the specific patterns of sin your child struggles with. Then to identify the portions of Scripture that specifically address the correction of your child's sin. When I got to this part, I was reaching for my journal and a pen. I love this kind of practical application. So I did this. Then later with my husband, I read portions of the book to him and asked him if there were any patterns of sin in our children that I had overlooked.
When our list was completed, I found verses from the Bible that correlated with these particular sins. This was made easier by the fact that Priolo has an appendix in the book called, "Scripture Texts for Child Training".
This is not the first book I've read that provides a topical listing of sins and go-to verses for that particular issue. While this is helpful information to refer to, it isn't particularly practical to have all those tucked away in a book on a shelf. Out of sight, out of mind.
Ideally, these verses would be written on my heart and I could retrieve them at the appropriate times. Some are, but certainly not the number I would like. I do hope to be there at some point, but I am not there yet.
In the meantime, I decided to do this: I bought some poster board and made a chart with two columns: Put Off and Put On. At the top of the chart reads the verse from Ephesians 4: "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Under the Put Off column I wrote those sins that our children continually struggle with in our house, and in the Put On column, I wrote references for a verse (or two) that apply to that particular sin. I then posted this in our living room.
My hope is that this chart will serve as a visible reminder to me during the day when these sins rear their ugly heads.
When my son argues with me, I can glance at the chart, grab my Bible, and we can read this, from Proverbs: "The wise in heart accepts commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin." And then we can pray together that God would give him (and me!) an attentive heart, and read this, "My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words" or this: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..."
When my daughter shows a lack of self-control, we can talk about putting off foolish behavior: "A fool gives full vent to his anger..." (Prov. 29:11a), and ask God for wisdom: "...but a wise man keeps himself under control." (Prov. 29:11b)
My desire is this: that my children would love the commands of God, and that His Word would be written on their hearts. That they would so know what He says that their behavior later in life would prompt that verse they learned when they were little.
Oh how I love your law!
I meditate on it all day long.
Your commands make me wiser than my enemies,
for they are ever with me.
I have more insight than all my teachers,
for I meditate on your statutes.
I have more understanding than the elders,
for I obey your precepts.
I have kept my feet from every evil path
so that I might obey your word.
I have not departed from your laws,
for you yourself have taught me.
How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!
I gain understanding from your precepts;
therefore I hate every wrong path.
Psalm 119:97-104
~Stacy
