Sep. 11, 2006 - But what about ME?

This past weekend my husband was home.  Because of his job, he rarely gets two days off in a row.  But this week, he had three days off in a row!  Throughout the week, as I anticipated this time coming, I begin to set expectations for the time he’s home.  Of course these are unstated expectations, but they are there, on my mind. 

Things like:

“Whew.  Now that Mark’s home he can fully take over this potty-training thing.  It’s his turn.  I am wiped.” 

“Okay, so… Friday morning he got to sleep in, so for sure on Saturday he’ll let me sleep in.”

“Since I’m usually the one disciplining while he’s at work, maybe when he’s home he’ll completely take over and I can just rest.”

And as our weekend progressed and these things weren’t happening according to my expectations, I began to get a bit resentful.  And a little cranky with my husband.  (Now, those of you who know my husband know that I have it good.  This man is such a servant.  He works tirelessly, in his job and in this home.  He is wonderful.  And handsome.  (Not that that has anything to do with that, but I’m just saying).  And a wonderful father.  And, and, and.  There is no end to what I could say good about this man.  Yet, I was crabby at him.

As I drove to the grocery store on Saturday night, I decided that I’d take the opportunity to pray, and began with sort of ‘venting’ to God about this.  And I prayed something along the lines of, “I just want him to take his turn and give me a break,...”  And then I recognized, aloud to God, how utterly selfish and sinful I am. 

Because this is what God says to me:

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”

and

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

My flesh continually asks, “But what about ME?  When do I get a break?  Where is the well-deserved rest I need?” 

But God reminds me that it’s not about me.  It’s just not.  He says, “Lay down your life."

Lord, help.  Help me lay down my life.  Teach me to do nothing out of selfish ambition, but in humility to consider all others better than myself.  Transform me, oh God, that I might bring glory to You.

~Stacy

Sep. 1, 2006 - Works for me!

If you've been blogging long enough, you've noticed that some people do this Works-For-Me Wednesday thing.  The idea is that on Wednesdays, you post an idea that is working for you and share it.  I've always kind of liked reading those ideas, but I would never hop on board the Works-For-Me Wednesday thing myself.  Quite frankly, I'm just not sure I have that many ideas that are working for me!  I think I'd get to about the third Wednesday and think, "Just what have I gotten myself into?" and have to scratch that plan altogether.

But I do like to read other peoples' working-for-them ideas.  I stumbled across this one the other day and just have to share the wealth of this good idea with you.  (Thank you, Toblerone).  If you want a fun and creative way to spice up communication with your husband, go read it.  (Except for my husband.  Honey, you can't go.  Sorry.)  But the rest of you, check it out.  And then please come back to let me know that yes, you thought it was a good idea. 

And have a wonderful Friday!

~Stacy

Jun. 19, 2006 - In other news...

Wow.  Thank you all for hanging in there with me as I recount our adoption story.  I know I'm wordy and detailed.  I really did think I'd be able to cover this in three posts, but... er, it may be three more.  Thank you to those of you who are reading and commenting.  It really has been a fun process for me to go through old journal entries and remember this, so thank you.

In other news: on Wednesday Mark and I will celebrate our 9th anniversary!  Yippeee!  In honor of this we get to go away (something done very rarely around here) together.  We're heading to a Bed & Breakfast tomorrow morning and will be back Wednesday evening.

I am so looking forward to being away with my wonderful husband and my best friend.  These are the delights I'm looking forward to:

-I will have a free hand (no diaper bag or child to hold) to be able to hold Mark's hand with!

-We will get to have uninterrupted conversation.

-We'll be able to talk about something other than daily conversation...  (We used to do the purposeful questions but have gotten out of the habit.  I was encouraged with Amy's post to bring them back this year!)

-I can have a meal where someone will bring me my food and I won't have to get up to get something for someone else between each bite!  I may be able to start my meal and finish all in one sitting!  Simple pleasures... 

-We can sleep! 

I am grateful for this opportunity to take some time away to nurture our relationship.  Sometimes it can get lost in this season of life with little ones.  How I love this husband God has blessed me so richly with.  I can't wait to get away with him! :)

~Stacy

Apr. 25, 2006 - My Side of the Bed

Here’s what I might be doing on any given night, (usually- in the wee hours of the morning) on my side of the bed:

-tossing and turning, trying to find a comfy, sleepy, sort of spot

-debating whether or not to look at the alarm clock to find out what time it is I’m awake this time

-replaying conversations in my head

-thinking about the following days activities

-making a grocery list

-wondering if I should just get up and GO to the bathroom already or if that would prevent with absolute certainty me going back to sleep

-making a to-do list

-trying to recall the dream I was having before I got up

-trying to remember something

-praying

-analyzing some problem or another

-wondering if I should get up and peek at my sleeping children

-pondering our finances

-making plans

And here’s what’s going on from my husband’s side of the bed, always:

-sleep

Yep, that’s pretty much it.  The second my husband’s head hits the pillow, he’s out. 

Last night our four-year old daughter was up a few times during the night (bad dreams).  The first time my husband went to her (he usually does the middle-of-the-night-wake-ups for the very reason that when I'm awake, it's hard for me to fall asleep again).  But the second time my husband was sleeping so soundly that I got up, went into her room to comfort and pray for her and then came back to bed and… worked on the above activity list.  (It was 4 am; I checked this time).

My husband did mumble as I came back to bed, “How is she?” and I gave a brief explanation- (mind you, it was difficult for me to be brief (I felt quite chatty, actually) since I was wide awake at this point).  At some point during my description I noticed he was snoring.  Snoring!  Speaking one second, snoring the next.  Unbelievable.  I wish I had that gift.  Not to snore, but to sleep.  Must be nice.

~Stacy

Apr. 14, 2006 - Praying for my Husband

In preparation for the next 3 months of our 18 in 90, Room to Room venture, I have developed a prayer list to guide me in prayer for my husband over the next 30 days.  I just finished reading The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, and used that as a guideline for coming up with some of these categories.  It's a great book, by the way, and you can find it here.  After the first month is up, I'll repeat it for months 2 and 3. 

I'm printing this out and posting above my kitchen sink (where I spend a good deal of time) so that I can pray for him in these specific areas throughout my day.  I'm excited to do this! :)  Here's my list:

1 his wife, that I would be his helpmeet, companion, champion, friend and support

2 his work

3 his sexuality

4 his affection

5 his temptations

6 his fears

7 his purpose

8 his health

9 his protection

10 his integrity

11 his reputation

12 his priorities

13 his relationships

14 his fatherhood

15 his relationship w/ E (our daughter)

16 his relationship w/ I (our son)

17 his relationship w/ I (our son)

18 our marriage

19 his faith

20 his time in the Word

21 his tongue/words

22 his repentance

23 his obedience

24 his future

25 his leadership

26 sharing the Gospel

27 his faithfulness

28 his prayers

29 his insecurities

30 his rest

Am I missing anything really obvious?  Let me know if you see a glaring obmission!

~Stacy