Feb. 19, 2007 - I'm moving

I just want to let you all know that I have moved to another place in the blogosphere.  My new blog address is:

http://withgreatjoy.blogspot.com/

Will you come and visit me?

I am in the very slow process of transferring all of my entries and comments over there.  For the past week or so, I have been double-posting (both here and there), but that is getting tiresome.  So I won't be doing that any longer. This will be my final post over here at HSB.  It may take another month or more to get all the old entries up.  Now, I'm not very techno-savvy, but I think if you read my blog via Bloglines, it may be quite annoying as I keep editing posts to get all the old ones up- (as in, it may show up frequently that I've posted a new post, when in reality it's just me, editing one.)  I think that's how it works.  So I'm apologizing in advance, and I will get them all up just as soon as I can. 

Thank you!

Stacy

Feb. 9, 2007 - Dandelions

The first item on my daily schedule is this:

• Up at 5:30, pray

It's been so long since I've intentionally been up early to pray that I've considered removing it from my list.  But it remains on my schedule, because ideally I'd really like to be there.

Last night I wearily climbed into bed and picked up my book and read a bit from Elisabeth Elliot's Be Still My Soul.  It was like a drink of water to this tired and feeling-like-a-failure-in-my-prayer-life mommy:

I will offer Him my prayers, my sighs.  I will pour out my heart to Him.  Even in their distractedness, inconsistency, and deficiency, I can be confident that my prayers rise to Him like incense ("Let my prayer be counted as incense before thee, and the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice!"  Psalm 141:2, RSV).  He receives my imperfect prayers like the mother receives the crushed dandelions, as gifts made perfect in love. 

Feb. 6, 2007 - I wonder...

..what it means about me, these things:

1.  I just ran to the store to get some milk.  We were out.  Or so I thought.  Until I came home and put the two gallons in the fridge and saw that actually, there was a full.gallon.in.there.already.  

Milk is the drink of choice in our home and there was only enough milk for one of my children to have a half-cup all day long.  How could I have missed that gallon of milk?!  It's not like it's a small item, a gallon of milk.  And I spend probably a full third of my day pulling things in and out of that fridge. 

2.  So, I was at the store, getting the milk.  As I set my gallons on the what-do-you-call-the-roller-thing-that-slides-your-groceries-towards-the-checker?, I remembered we'd recently gotten a new card from our bank.  I thought, "Was that a new debit or credit card?"  And then remembered it was a new credit card.  Our debit card number was the same.  So then, in an effort to be task-oriented and prepared, I thought to myself (oh, foolish me, why did I have to go and think this?!?):

"What is our pin number?" 

And right then it was time for me to punch in the number and of course I had a complete lapse of memory and could not, for the life of me, remember my number.  After embarrassingly punching in random numbers, twice, to have the checker indicate that I needed to enter my pin number yet again, a very-flustered-me got out my credit card.  I mean, REALLY.  I only use my debit card every other day.  I KNOW that number.  I also know that if I had absentmindedly approached the debit machine, I could have speedily punched in those numbers and been on my merry way. 

Arghh.  Should I mention now that the debit-card situation has happened to me before? 

Jan. 31, 2007 - Listening

A couple of years ago I was longing to hear God's voice.  I was driving in our van with my kids, listening to the radio, and asking God, "Will you speak to me?" 

I honestly can't remember now if I was asking about something particular (ie- if we were trying to make a decision about something, and I was looking for a particular answer from Him), or if it was simply that I wanted that kind of intimacy with Him.

Throughout the Bible, I see that kind of relationship with God and His people.  Beginning with Adam and Eve, and then many others.  One of my favorite Bible stories is the story of Samuel as a young boy.  He lies down, and the Lord calls him.  He thinks it is Eli, so he runs to Eli to find out what he wants.  Eli tells him it wasn't he who had called.  So Samuel went back to bed.  Again, he hears a voice, calling, "Samuel!"  Samuel again goes to Eli.  Eli again tells him to go back to bed; he didn't call.  Samuel hears the voice again, and this time as he goes to Eli, Eli has figured it out.  He tells Samuel it is the Lord calling him.  He instructs Samuel:  "Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, 'Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.'  The Bible tells us that Samuel went and lay down, and "the Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, 'Samuel!  Samuel!'  And Samuel said, 'Speak, for your servant is listening.'  

And the Lord spoke to Samuel.  Just like that.  He called Samuel by name, and He had things He wanted to say to Samuel. 

I wanted that, too.  I  yearned for that kind of relationship with the Lord.  I knew that God had not stopped speaking to His people, so why wasn't He speaking to me?

So that day as I was driving in my van, I prayed, "Lord, will you speak to me?  I want to hear your voice."

And instantly I had the thought:  Maybe if you'd turn off the radio, Stacy, you could actually hear Him.  I promptly turned off the radio.  And I wondered: was that Him, telling me to turn it off?  I wasn't sure.  Now as I look back on that day, I think it was Him, speaking to me.  Telling me to listen.  Regardless, it was a wake-up call for me.  I realized then, how foolish I was, asking God to speak and yet drowning His voice out with all the noise. 

I think God is faithfully speaking, and we are not listening.  We are not Samuels, quiet and ready: "What is it?  Did you call?  Speak, for your servant is listening."  And another thing: I think that the Enemy knows this.  He effectively adds more noise, because the more noise there is, the less we can hear God speak.  Think TVs, radios, CD players, the phone, IPods, etc.  Where is the quiet? 

After that day, I began turning off the radio when I drove.  Not long after that, I stopped watching TV.  I purposed to be quieter, to spend more time listening, in case He wanted to say something.  And do you know what?  He did.  He had things to say to me.  He was faithful to speak as I listened. 

Jim Cymbala, (pastor of The Brooklyn Tabernacle for over 25 years), writes:

The divine message that Isaiah spoke thousands of years ago applies at all times to all people: "Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.  Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live."  (Isaiah 55:2-3)... God is a speaking, communicating God, but someone has to be listening on the other end.

Jesus wrote letters to seven different churches in the book of Revelation.  The spiritual condition of each assembly was different, and therefore Christ's words were never the same as  he addressed their unique situations.  But it is noteworthy that he used the same phrase to close all seven letters:  "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches"  (Revelation 2-3)

The Holy Spirit still speaks vital messages to God's people today, but we must have tender, attentive hearts to hear what he is saying.

When was the last time you and I could say that we heard from God?  ...God is still pleading in countless ways, "Hear me, that your soul may live" (Isaiah 55:3)  Don't all of us need to slow down and get quiet before him? 

I did.  I still do.  I had a wonderful season of quiet.  But the noise is creeping back into my life.  

I am weary, and I turn on the television.  I flip on the radio in the mornings as I clean the kitchen.  I get into the van and on goes the radio.  And once again, I know He's saying, "Turn it off, Stacy."   So again I purpose to be more attentive.  To be intentional.  I want to be like Samuel, quiet and ready: "Speak, for your servant is listening." 

(excerpt taken from The Life God Blesses, copyright 2001)

Jan. 29, 2007 - Rejoicing

The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name."

He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightening from heaven.  I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.  However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."

~Luke 10: 17-20

I am ashamed to say it, but as I reflected on these verses this past week, I realized that I take this precious truth for granted.   

Jesus tells us to rejoice that our names are written in heaven.  How often am I joyful over that fact?  The Greek word for rejoice is chairo, and it means: "to rejoice exceedingly".  (Which begs the question: When was the last time I rejoiced exceedingly over anything?)  But this.  How often am I celebrating His lavish gift of salvation with exceeding joy?  Not often enough.

I've asked God to imprint this truth afresh upon my heart.  May I delight in His gift of salvation.  J O Y !  My name, Stacy.  Written in the book of Life!   God has reserved a spot in heaven for me.  He has rescued me from death.  He has invited me to be with Him-- for eternity.  My life here on earth is but a breath; it is that short.  But heaven?  An eternity.

A refrain has been in my heart these past few days.  And a number of times I've just had to burst out in song.  It's the beginning of the chorus from a song by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.  (I wish you could hear it with me, because these few words don't quite do this exuberant song justice.)  Nonetheless, here they are:

Hallelujah!  I am saved!

Jan. 26, 2007 - Thankful...

Still more from my list:

praying with my mom

my crockpot

sweet forgiveness from my children when I've had to apologize

storytime before naps each day

little legs that have kicked off the covers in sleep

velcro shoes for little feet

the individual personalites of each of my children

traditions

rearranged furniture

heavy eyelids that urge me to put the book down and sleep

Isaac's bold displays of love

his grateful heart

Ella's early-morning self: groggy, quiet

how they run and greet daddy at the door

Isaias on his tiptoes to peek out the window

how Isaias tucks his hands between us with I'm holding him

how Isaac gets his colors mixed up

the sound of his feet padding up the stairs in the early morning hours

that Isaias calls, "daddyyyy" now in the mornings

Ella positioning all the nativity figurines-- at home and at my mom's-- to look at the baby Jesus

lunches around the table with Amy and her kids

how Isaias says "mama" when he wants to show me something

Ella learning to write words

puzzles

coconut macaroons

that Mark takes over when I can't balance the checkbook

Ella affirming her brothers

framed 8x10's of my smiling children

earnest prayers for a baby in mommy's tummy

Mark's TLC when I'm sick

Mark, like a little boy, intent upon some baseball cards

or legos

or puzzles

knowing You

and trusting You

great-grandpa Jake

Mark unloading the van after Costco trips

and loading the fridge and cupboards for me

doing something to make the kids giggle

banners and signs made for big events

the sound of raindrops hitting my face

the feel of them

Migee and Donto, Isaac's imaginary friends

Your law, Lord

I'm wrapping up this list.  I've got about 40 more to go to get to 1000.  Early on, I wondered if I'd ever be able to come up with an entire 1000!  But it really hasn't been difficult at all.  It's just a matter of taking the time to stop and consider.  There are so many.

~Stacy

Jan. 21, 2007 - A man I know

Let me tell you a little about a man that I know. 

He is first a lover of God.  And he loves God's word.

He is a wonderful husband.  He is attentive, tender, supportive, patient, encouraging, complimentary, romantic, faithful and pure.  He is always willing to step in and give his weary wife some rest.  He tells his wife she is beautiful--  many times a day.  He's the best listener.   He writes cards and leaves notes in the shower.  He is selfless.  He is tall, lean and handsome.  He makes me laugh, and he holds me when I cry.  He is my best friend.  Yes, this is my husband. 

He is crazy about his children.  If you were to frequent our home on any given night, you would find him lying on the floor, wrestling with our boys.  Or on all fours, chasing our children around the house.  Or sitting beside our daughter, playing dollhouse.  Or on the couch reading stories.  Or playing the seventeenth game of hide-and-seek.  Or with music spilling from the stereo, a child in his arms, dancing happily around our living room.  Or he's making badger masks for the kids (because we were learning about badgers).  Or, after expressed interest in dalmatians, he painted little faces, hands, and feet with white paint, and added black spots.  And then he took pictures.  When bedtime rolls around, he gathers our children around him for a Bible story.  But he doesn't just read the story.   If you peeked into the room, you would spy some earnest little actors.  Daddy is the director and sometimes-actor, and our children get to act out the Bible stories.  If a child calls out, fearful, in the middle of the night, it is his name that is called:  "Daddy!"   And he goes at once; reassuring and secure.  He prays, sometimes sings, and the child is tucked back into bed. 

He is one who loves others more than himself.  He is continually looking for ways to serve others, and he serves without desire for recognition.  He gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.  He does not keep a record of wrongs.  He is absolutely trustworthy.  You can count on him for an honest answer, always.  He has a great sense of humor.  He is thoughtful and kind.  He is generous.  He is compassionate.  He feels deeply, and is not afraid to let a tear slip down his face.  He is full of integrity.  He is one who others listen to.  They trust his counsel and his opinions.  I am so proud of him.

He is a good man, this man.  And he is mine.  Oh, I realize that Mark is His, but He has seen fit to give him to me for these years.  And I am so thankful for my beloved husband.  For this father of my children.  For this godly man God has blessed me so richly with. 

Happy Birthday, honey.  I love you.

Jan. 19, 2007 - My new favorite blog

I must tell all of you, dear readers, about a blog you simply must frequent.  Elise over at Joy in the Morning writes beautifully.  Here's something from her archives that I read this morning. 

Go, already.  Scoot.   

Click on the link above.  And read.  You will be encouraged. 

But then come back to read the rest of this.

See?   Doesn't she write lovely things?   That post so encouraged my heart this morning. 

Elise also has Children's Book Mondays, where she reviews a book.  She writes a great review, and the books she has recommended that we've checked out from our library are excellent.  Who doesn't like a good book recommendation for your children?

So, add Joy in the Morning to your Bloglines list or your favorites page.  You'll be glad you did. 

~Stacy

Jan. 10, 2007 - Reading...

It's snowing here again today.  This kind of day always makes me want to curl up under my cozy down comforter with a cup of hot tea and a good book.  Mmmm...  

I've decided to keep track of all the books I read in 2007.  Here's what's happening so far in the reading department: 

Just finished:  Forgiven  ~Karen Kingsbury

Christian fiction.  Quick read.  Kingsbury is no Francine Rivers (who is a favorite Christian fiction author of mine), but... still good.

Now reading:  House Divided  ~Ben Ames Williams

This is a 1500-page novel about the Civil War, copyright 1947.  I am about 1100 pages into it,  and it's very good.  There was just one section of the book that was tedious-- I got a little bogged down in all the details of a particular battle, so I did do a bit of skimming, but it was only about 100 pages.  Other than that one section (which would be my husband's favorite part of the book), I am really enjoying this book.  Great character development.

Next up:   Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology  ~Eric Brende

I can't wait to read this one.  MIT grad Eric Brende and his wife move to a community for eighteen months and do without a car, stove, refrigerator and running water.  And he writes all about it here.

What are you reading? 

~Stacy

[Photo courtesy of the stock.xchng]

Dec. 27, 2006 - The after-Christmas lull

I love it.  The lull, I mean.

Don't get me wrong.  I love big family gatherings-- everyone crowded around tables or packed onto the couches and chairs, filling living rooms.  

Our festivities began Friday night.  We headed to my grandpas church.  We outgrew his living room years ago.  92 people, I think, this year.  This dear man, his eight children.  Many grandchildren.  More great-grandchildren.  Generations.  Tears slipped down his precious cheeks as his family gathered around.  Children's children are a crown to the aged. 

Saturday morning my mom, my sister and I joined my aunts and their daughters for tea and scones.  Two hours of chatting and laughing and remembering.  The young women around that table I have played with since I was a little girl.  So many childhood memories.  Playing "house" in grandma's basement.  Board games with grandma- Uncle Wiggly was a favorite.  Playing kick-the-can in grandpa and grandma's yard. 

Saturday evening, same family.  Game night.  With aunts and uncles and cousins and children.  A noisy game of Taboo.  Some Twister with the little ones.  Watching my daughter place her left foot when she should be using her right foot.  Should I correct her?  Nope.  Let her play.  Then the guys gathered around the table to play some poker.  I took our children home and tucked them into bed.  Wrote names on stockings for my mom's stairwell.  She got new ones this year; wanted me to do the names.  I showed her how to add tassels to her prayer shawl.  Mom left, Mark returned home.  We finished wrapping some gifts, I made some cinnamon rolls and stitched around the edges of some fleece scarves for the boys.  Late night.  Crawled into bed at 1:30.

Sunday morning.  Christmas Eve.  Church.  Candlelight service.  Voices raised to God.  Alleluia!  Jesus is born!  After church we gathered with Mark's family.  We began the day with cinnamon rolls and a tasty egg dish.  A full day with my husband's family.  I love them.  Such a boisterous bunch of MEN.  Mark has five brothers.  And six nephews.  I can't count the number of times someone was suddenly 'taken down' in the middle of the living room.  Or on the stairs.  And then every other brother and nearby nephew would climb on, too.  A pile of raucous boys.  Lots of laughter.  Games.  We played Settlers.  And I joined my neice for a couple games of Sequence-- we'd gotten it for her for Christmas.   Eleven hours in that house on Christmas Eve.  But oh-so-much fun. 

Monday morning.  Christmas Day.  Our oldest two climbed into bed with us, dispensing kisses and groggy "I love you's".  I love mornings like this.  We got up our youngest to join us in bed.  We took the stockings down from the mantel and open them, one by one.  On our bed, in our jammies, exclaiming over gifts to each other. 

After getting ready, we bundled up and walked to my mom's house for breakfast and most-of-the-day there.  My parents, my sister and her family.  My two brothers.  Us.  Food, reading from Luke, songs, prayers, gifts.  My parents head off to another family event, we stayed to eat a late lunch, then headed home for quick naps.   After naps, we headed out to join my parents for a bit, then came home for dinner.   And games.  My sister taught us a new card game- Nerts.  Nertz?  Not sure how to spell it but now I know how to play.   And another game: Apples to Apples.  Mom's consistent choice.  Another late night.

Tuesday morning, home.   The kids slept until 8:45, which is unheard of at our house.  Then Mark got up with them while I slept a bit more.  Chocolate-chip bran muffins for breakfast, and then... our Christmas.  Ella, then Isaac- "read" about Jesus' birth from their Bibles, and then Mark read while they moved around the Nativity figurines, acting out the story.  Then we opened gifts, one by one.  And then- my new favorite part of our family Christmas... I'll share all about it in a couple of days.  The boys went down for naps, the rest of us rested.  My dad took all the guys out to a movie late-afternoon.  My sister brought her kids up to play while I happily took down our now-dying Christmas tree.  We gathered at mom's for dinner-- tacos-- and talked and laughed and took family pictures by the tree.  Then, home.

And today, Wednesday.  We are home.  It's a lull from our last few days of getting up, heading out for the day, coming home late just to dump everything down and fall into bed.  Only to get up again the next morning and go again.  Not today.  We're home.  Getting settled back into our routine.  Of sleep, chores (my washing machine is humming as I type), and quiet.  Ahhh... I love it.

There's nothing on our agenda until 5:00 tonight, when we get to go hang out with our best friends-- Mike, Amy and their boys-- for dinner.  We're ordering Thai food, and we'll put the kids down there and stay up later to eat snacks and play a game or two of Settlers.  So fun. 

How was your Christmas?

Dec. 21, 2006 - Our Christmas letter

I thought I'd post the Christmas letter we sent out this year....

* * *

Dear Family and Friends,

I love this time of year.  First comes Fall, with it's blustery days and the beautiful hues of leaves on the trees.  And then Winter.  With Winter comes the smell of pine from our tree, twinkling white lights, the occasional snowfall, glowing candles, and a sense of anticipation in the air as Christmas approaches.

It's also a time of gift-giving.  There are a few gifts-- wrapped and ready-- that I am most eager to give.  Those are gifts I know will be a delight to the ones opening them.  I can't wait for those gifts to be unwrapped. 

Can you imagine the joy of God the Father as He waited for His Gift to be unveiled to mankind?  I'll bet the air in heaven was pregnant with anticipation.  And as the baby Jesus was ushered into the world, surely there was great rejoicing in heaven.  And probably a flurry of activity as hosts of angels were dispached to make the birth announcement.

In the midst of our own flurry of activity this time of year, our family delights in the most treasured gift ofall: Jesus.  Jesus-- our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

Bear with me, if you will, as I share a little about some of the other gifts God has lavished upon us. 

There's Mark-- wonderful husband, daddy, and an incredibly hard worker.  One of my favorite perks of Mark's job is that he gets to be home every day for lunch! :)  I am daily grateful to have married a man who loves Jesus first, and his family second.  (Oh, and coming in at a close third: the Pittsburgh Steelers! :))

Ella, just five- is our responsible, thoughtful, compassionate, nurturing one.  She brightens our lives with her chatter and her sweet spirit.  She brightens our home-- quite literally-- with the dozens of cards she writes every day.  She sounds out and writes many words.  Soon she'll learn to read, and we're excited about that!   She is a wonderful helper around the house, and always does her chores with a joyful heart. 

Isaac, now three- is our laughing, singing, affectionate boy.  When we asked him at Thanksgiving what he was most thankful for, he promptly said, "You guys!"   (And here we thought it was milk!)  He is learning to be a gentleman to his big sister, and delights us as he serves her and looks out for her.  I'll bet not ten full minutes ever go by without him bursting into a worship song; his favorite is "God of Wonders."

Isaac and Ella have both learned many Bible verses this year, and it is one of our greatest joys that they are hiding His word in their little hearts.

Isaias, 21 months, has been a wonderful addition to our family this year.  And it has been a full year.  Today, as I write this-- December 14th-- is the day, one year ago, that we walked Isaias into our home for the first time, and placed him into the arms of his big sister, who had tirelessly prayed for his arrival. 

Mark said the other day that Isaias has a "rough and tumble zeal for life", and I thought that was such an appropriate description for our little boy!  Isaias has strong feelings about everything.  He loves to eat, play with trains and cars, and to follow Ella around wherever she goes.  He's also beginning to have hourly wrestling matches with Isaac on the living room floor, and we love to see that interaction! :)

Isaias is beginning to use more words, and we are excited for the day that he'll take off and begin chatting with us!  (IF he can get a word in edgewise with his older two siblings, that is! :))

And me, well... I get the incredible privilege of taking care of these God has entrusted to me.  So I spend my days cooking, cleaning, and trying to keep up with the laundry.  And I pray that these children will grow to love God with all their heart, soul and strength.

Mark bought me a sewing machine this year, so I'm busy learning how to sew, and love it.  I also read and write and knit, when time allows.  In the fall I'll begin homeschooling Ella, and I look forward to that!

We pray daily that God would add to our family, and we are in the process of adopting again!  We hope to adopt a little girl or a sibling group through the state's foster-to-adopt program, and so we wait to see whom God will set into our family within the coming year.

We wish you, our family and our friends, a wonderful Christmas as you celebrate the Gift of Jesus!

~Stacy for Mark, Ella, Isaac and Isaias

* * *

The letter was tucked into our homemade cards.  (Remember?  All colored by the kids?  They turned out great! :))

And with those, our family photo. 

 I figure if four out of five of us were smiling, it was a good shot.  (I think our youngest was busy sucking on the M&M I'd given him in-between takes!  :)

Blessings to all of you for a wonderful Christmas!

~Stacy

Dec. 19, 2006 - Psalm 119:140

This verse, I found this morning:

Your promises have been thoroughly tested,

and your servant loves them. 

Indeed.  I do love them.

~Stacy

Dec. 14, 2006 - Odds and ends...

For those of you reading, you may or may not be aware that HomeschoolBlogger has recently done an upgrade.  For some reason, that upgrade has made it so that the things that I used to do with ease (edit a post, read or leave comments, read others' blogs, add a link, etc) are no longer possible-- at least for the time being.  And doing anything at all is reaaaaalllly  slow.  I know some of you have tried to leave comments and have been unable to do so.  Sorry!  I'm sure they're busy ironing out the kinks.

I probably won't be around much in the next couple weeks.  In a few days my wonderful husband will be home for TWO WHOLE WEEKS (!!!)  Yippeee!! 

In the meantime I'm busy trying to get our Christmas cards out, but first-- we have to get our family photo taken.  [Aaack!]   And some baking, we'll do that, too.  The shopping is all done, the wrapping is not. 

So if I don't post again in the near future, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas as you celebrate the gift of Jesus!

Blessings to you and yours,

~Stacy

Dec. 8, 2006 - Backing up your blog entries

For HomeschoolBloggers: If you've ever wondered how to back up the entries on your blog (so that you won't lose them), there are instructions over at Rugby HS.  She walks you through very simple instructions on how to back up your entries and/or your template.  Check it out. 

~Stacy

Nov. 27, 2006 - The perfect tree

Yesterday after church we set out in search of the perfect Christmas tree.  I want to be absolutely clear that the perfect Christmas tree, in my humble opinion, can not be an artificial one.  And.  One more thing:  I don't think anyone should peruse the tied-up pre-cut varieties at any store or stand and purchase one of those.  They are simply inferior.  (Like I said, in my humble opinion.)

Without fail, for as long as I can remember, the weekend after Thanksgiving is when you would spot my family-- my dad, mom, my older sister, me, and my younger two brothers--traipsing through the cold Christmas tree farm, hunting for the perfect tree.  Ahem.  My mom's version of the perfect tree.  For those of you new to this type of hunt: To find the perfect tree means that you have to rule out every other tree.

As it happens it was usually pouring down rain, and the tree farm we frequented had a valley in the middle of it, boasting some very evident drainage problems.  So getting to the other side of the lake (which is where the perfect tree surely sat, according to my mom) was an adventure to say the least.   Each one of us had our work cut out for us to try to convince mom that this one, here, was it.  Right?  The perfect tree.  Before we got to the lake.

Really, as a young girl- any tree was sufficient as long as we could get back to the warmth of the car straightaway.  But my mom had the deciding vote.  And my mom is the most indecisive person on the planet.  "Oh, I don't know.  Do you think it's too sparse right there at the bottom of the tree?  Maybe.  I think so.  Where was that other one...?  No, not the first one, but the second one.  Remember?  The one I said I liked?  Let's go look at that one again."  And so off we'd go.

Over the years we developed a system.  We'd get out and scour the lot, marking all the possibilities.  (With leaves, rope, a twig, whatever we could find...)  Then we'd go back to each one and finally, after about an hour or so had passed, my dad would say something like, "Okay, honey.  Really.  I think we've seen them all, now.  Time to choose one."  And so she'd narrow it down- to maybe the final two or three choices- and then on our way back to the one she'd decided we could cut down and take home, she'd spot a few other possibilities. 

Somehow we always came home with a tree.  The perfect tree. 

Now, I don't know how this happened--it's not like I consciously decided that my husband and children should endure the same thing as I did growing up--but I do happen to have a very clear picture in my own mind of what the "perfect tree" is.  And so the tradition continues.

I meant to detail our own hunt here in this post, but... this is far too long already so I'll do that next time. 

~Stacy 

[Photo courtesy of the stock.xchng]

Nov. 25, 2006 - Saturday gratitude

540. snow!

541. the exuberance of E & I upon peering outside this morning

542. snow nestled in the trees

543. a Creator who thought of snow

544. making a snowman.  at 7:40 in the morning.

545. my children all bundled up

546. cold fingers and toes that are certain to be warmed

547. hot cocoa with marshmellows

548. the paper snowflakes we plan to make today.  (Thank you, Ann!)

[Snowflake photo courtesy of the stock.xchng.]

Nov. 7, 2006 - As for blogging...

... I am back. 

When I wrapped this up a little over a month ago, I really did think it was the end.  I just re-read that post.  My question then was this, "Is blogging a pursuit that God is pleased with in my life?" 

You know what?  It wasn't.  Quite frankly, blogging had become too much in my life.  I cared too much what people thought in the blogosphere.  My thoughts resided here when they should have been elsewhere.  One too many times, I was saying, "Just a minute" to one of my children who waited near my elbow as I blogged.  By the time I got back to them, some 15 minutes later, they didn't have the same question.  Or I was impatient or crabby at their interruption. 

I'll be the first one to tell you that I lack discipline.  It's a tough one for me.  It's why my house is full of clutter.  It's why I rarely get up early to pray even though I want to.  It's why I begin projects but leave them unfinished for months (okay, sometimes years).

I knew that God was nudging me to lay blogging down, but I wasn't sure why.  The day after I wrote my final post, my Bible study was on "Tearing Down the High Places."  I puzzled then if I had any high places to tear down.  By the end of the study, I knew the why of it.  This whole blogging venture had become an idol in my life.

I hesitate to even use the word idol because my fear is that some of you will think, "Sheesh.  That girl must have been on the computer ALL THE TIME."  I wasn't, truly.  I was not addicted to the computer, I was not neglecting my husband or my children.  (Overall.  There were moments.  Check confessions three paragraphs up.)

I never would have used the word idol before in this context.  It's not like I was worshipping my computer.  And yet, this.  From my study that day: "Our thoughts can be held captive to someone or something that builds up our egos or satisfies our fleshly appetites.  Simply put, captivating thoughts are controlling thoughts-- things you find yourself meditating on too often."  And this: "Satan fights dirty.  He jumps on anything that could keep you from centering your thoughts on Christ."  And the reminder that the object of our thoughts itself (in my case, blogging) is not necessarily sin.  "The sin lies in the exaltation of it in our own minds."  (all quotes are from Beth Moore)

So this blogging thing- a good thing- was captivating my thoughts.  I recognized it as a high place and found comfort in this:

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

A week or so later (after that final post) I realized that maybe it wasn't a permanent thing, this end to blogging.  Maybe that nudging was soley for the purpose of removing that high place.  And me being the task-oriented person I am, wanted to pick it right back up: High place removed, back to blogging.  But I wanted to make sure God would bless that.  So I set some parameters: 

- I would not blog for an entire month..

- I would move our computer from it's centrally-located place in our home (where it has proven to be a distraction) to another room.  Downstairs, in the basement, as it resides now. 

- I would email some women I respect in the blogosphere and seek their wisdom and insight.  Women who blog regularly and have been doing so for some time.  (Not regarding my situation, necessarily, but on blogging in general.)  What were their guidelines, their time-restrictions, what have they learned?  etc...

- I would continue to pray and seek God's wisdom on whether or not I should pick it back up.

A couple of weeks ago I told Mark, "I could take it or leave it, truthfully."  I was no longer pining to get to the computer.  Which was such a good place to be.  And I was perfectly fine with the idea that I was done. 

That gradually changed.  I found that I wanted to continue writing here.  I kept having more I wanted to share with you, dear readers.  (If you're still there, that is.)

So, I begin again.  I continue to pray that my time here (along with every other usage of my time) will be honoring to God, and that this small offering of my writing might bring encouragement to some of you. 

Things are a little different.  My computer is in a different spot.  I have set some computer restrictions for myself.  (No blogging (writing, reading, or checking comments) while the kids are awake, basically.)  I will not be posting every day.  I've removed the sitemeter. 

I considered removing the comments function, too, but for now I've decided to keep it.  Yesterday I stumbled across this quote, from C.S. Lewis:

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one."

That is one of the things I really appreciate-- hearing from you via the comments and finding out, "What!  You, too?" 

So...how are all of you?  I've missed you.

~Stacy

Oct. 6, 2006 - Welcome

Thank you for stopping by...

Whether you've come for the first time or have been here before, I'm glad you're here.

Thank you to all of you who wrote such encouraging comments on my last post.  I'm not sure that I'm done blogging here.  Still praying about that one.  In the meantime, you can check out the archives or the links on the sidebar. 

Blessings to each and every one of you!

~Stacy

Sep. 28, 2006 - The End

I was flipping through my journal the other day and realized it has been nearly a year since I gave up watching TV.  I say 'give up' because I was pretty sure God wanted me to stop watching TV, but I fought it.  I sort of liked my shows.  I spent some time trying to negotiate.  You know- How about if I give up the shows I don't really care about as much?  The ones I won't miss as much?  Or I'll record them so I'm not a slave to the TV schedule.  But I'll only record SOME.  Or, Maybe just for a season.  I wanted to hold onto it. 

And yet, stronger than my desire to watch my shows was my desire to obey my God.  Finally I relented and said, "Okay.  If this is You, calling me to obedience in this, that's enough for me."  And that was it.  I haven't watched TV since.  I mean, a few minutes here and there.  And a Pittsburgh Steelers game with my husband from time to time.  But, no more shows.  And oh, has it been good.  The absence of TV ushered in a hunger in me for more of Him.  And that pursuit has been so much richer than any show ever.  Obviously.

The TV screen no longer has a place in my life, but now there's another screen that beckons me.  You know.  The computer screen.  Ours sits here in our living room (where we happen to do most of our living).  And I like to pop in throughout the day.  I really do like this blogging thing.  I like writing.  I like the comments.  I like to read other blogs.  I like to glean ideas and tips and recipes and resources from so many of you.  I like the comraderie.  The like-mindedness of so many of you in the blogosphere.  All of these virtual friends I've made.  :) 

And yet.  The question on my heart again and again has been this: 

Is blogging a pursuit that God is pleased with in my life?  I'm not sure what the answer is to that.  And in all honesty, I think I've been afraid that if I really asked, I would find that yes, indeed, God would have me cease doing this (He's a jealous God, after all) and I don't want to give it up.  And so I've kept blogging.  And lately I find myself going into negotiating-mode once again.  I'll just be more disciplined.  I won't post every day.  This is a good thing, right?  

I have learned much here.  Have I given much?  I don't know.  Is this activity in my life glorifying God?  I don't know.  I would hope and pray so.  But I simply don't know.

And.  The question remains.  Is this pleasing to You?  It gives me pause.  Last night and today, I feel this nudging to lay it down, to set it aside.  I'm not entirely sure that God is saying, "No, Stacy.  No more blogging."  I'm not nearly as convinced as I was about the TV-thing.  That was kind of a no-brainer, but this?  This is a good thing.  But a good thing can also be a distraction from Him. 

Paul and Timothy wrote to the church in Colosse:

"We pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God."

That is my heart.  To live a life worthy of the Lord.  To please Him in every way.  To bear fruit in every good work.  To grow in the knowledge of Him.  Oh, that is my fervant prayer.  I want nothing to distract me from that pursuit. 

That, more than this.

And so this will be my final post.  Because if God is calling me away from this and closer to Him, I want to obey.

But I do plan to see what you're blogging about, Kendra.  (And if I'm ever in California, I just may knock at your door. I mean, if I can find you.  For a game of Settlers, you know. :))  And so many others... I will come and read and comment.  Rebeca.  Ann.  Dana.  Michelle.  Linda.  Joni.  Jen.  Stacy.  Sandi.  Ali.  (Er, so I'm really not leaving, after all!  Nah... I am.  But I will check in- maybe just on a weekly basis, though.)  You, and so many others, who have come here to read and to comment.  And you have written things that have encouraged me in my pursuit as a wife, mother and homemaker.  I thank you. 

I plan to keep pursuing and loving Jesus.  And my husband.  And the little flock He has entrusted to me.  Those things I KNOW are pleasing to Him.

~Stacy

ps- Can I just say that I feel a little choked up over this?  (And a bit teary, even.)

Sep. 19, 2006 - Aging