Feb. 16, 2007 - The quiet hour

After lunch and story time we have “quiet time” at our house.  This is a time in which, theoretically, everyone is quiet for a period of one to two hours (preferably two).  My youngest (nearly two) goes down first, and then I bring our three-year old to his bed.  Then my daughter (five) supposedly plays quietly in the living room while I get to go to my bedroom, crawl onto the bed with my journal, Bible and a snack.  And after that, read my book or take a nap and have, ah!… quiet. 

Theoretically. 

A couple of things have made me revisit this whole area.

First, my daughter’s quiet time is very quiet, but she interrupts me frequently.  When she’s in the living room she pops in every 5-10 minutes to keep me informed of what she’s doing or has done, or she wanders in to ask the dreaded, “Now what should I do?”  And she goes through seasons (this being a long one of them) where she requests to sit beside me while I have my quiet time.  And I know I could be stern about it and stick by the "rules", but then… there she is, clutching her Bible story-book and her “journal” and pen, and longing to be like mommy.  What can I say?  So, I say yes, and there she sits, quietly, but then every few minutes whispering, “Look at what I wrote, mommy.”  Or, “I’m reading about Sampson today, see?”  Very cute.  And yet, I miss having that time all to myself. 

The other factor is that I’m wondering if my three-year old is ready to stop taking his nap.  (My wonderings are based on the fact that when I put him down, it takes him a good hour to go to sleep and then he lies awake for a couple of hours after we put him down at nighttime.)  Sigh.  I am not eager to part with his nap, and yet… I fear the time has come.  But if he is done with napping, then we need to move into a quiet time for him, too, which makes me revisit what is and isn’t working for our existing quiet time.  And it’s not working.

So.  To all of you mamas who have quiet times at your house with pre-readers, what are you doing that works for you?  Do you gather materials/projects/books/puzzles beforehand so that they are occupied?  Do you set a timer?  Do you discipline when they interrupt?  Do you ever let them join you?  Tell me what is/has worked and also what hasn't worked, so that I can avoid those!

Feb. 15, 2007 - My choice today

Yesterday as my husband came home from work, I met him-- not at the door, but outside-- with tears and this: "I'm running away from home!"

Needless to say, we've had a difficult week.  Both Monday and Tuesday night this week Mark and I had to leave the kids and drive two hours away to attend some adoption classes, sit through the hour and a half class to drive another two hours home.  We knew this would be a difficult month.  We have a number of these classes to attend, and I figured it would take a toll on all of us.  It has.  I am tired, impatient, irritable, crabby, and emotional.  The kids, out of their routine-- are tired, whiny, argumentative, prone to fits and tantrums, and emotional.  Like I said, I'm ready to run away from home. 

It is times like this that I become very grumbly and my thoughts very me-centered:  "I need a break."  "What about me?"   "I need some sleep."  "I don't want to do this right now."  "I'm so tired of this."  Things like that.  Oh, and thoughts like: "These kids are driving me absolutely crazy!" 

And all day yesterday God was urging me to choose joy.  You know what?  I didn't.  I knew that's what I needed to do, but I am stubborn and would much rather wallow in self-pity. 

Today I'm going to obey, though.  I am headed now to turn on some worship songs and sing.  And put a smile on my face.  And regardless of whether I get a nap or a break or rest, and even IF my children continue their behavior, I am choosing joy today.

 - - -

***UPDATE***  Thank you, readers, for your prayers and empathy!  It was a good day!  After posting this entry I went upstairs and had a tickle-fest with my boys on the bed.  And spent the rest of the day delighting in little things, like my three-year old licking the frosting off of his valentine cookie.  For a full half-hour (!)  AND I did get a break, too. 

Feb. 8, 2007 - What's that you say?

Jan. 30, 2007 - Three things

Last week I had a difficult day with the kids.  It was so evident to me that each of them were falling into the sins they are each prone to.  I am very familiar with them, those sin patterns. 

For one child, it's whining, inattentiveness, and a slothfulness-- especially when it comes to obeying right away.  For another, it's tattling, and a sly way of stirring up trouble with his/her siblings.  As well as a tendency to argue and give excuses.  For the other,  it's a bad attitude.  A very strong temper.  Anger.

As I journaled about these things, a few things struck me: 

One.  The fact that these things have flared up in them in such a way that they did last week reveals a lack of diligence on my part.  (Don't you hate that?  I mean, yes-- I can attribute it to their fallen nature.  But it also points glaringly to my lack in reining them in.)

Two.  As the mama of my children, I know them.  I see their strengths and their failings very clearly.  And I believe this window God has given me into their lives comes with a great responsibility.  A responsibility to be faithful in prayer for these areas.

Three.  And the most obvious, of course: I have the same problem.  I, too, continually fall into the same patterns of sin.  James 1:14 says, "..each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed."   I have my own areas: my pride, anger,  impatience, unforgiveness, and my tongue, to name just a few off the top of my head.

I need You, God.  Will you strengthen me to be diligent with them?   Give me wisdom from your vast supply.  Equip me so that I may parent them as You desire me to.  Fill me with Your tender, gracious spirit for my children.  May I be poured out for them.  May I die to myself and allow You to reveal Yourself through me to these You have entrusted to me.   And, Lord?  Remind me to pray for them; for these areas of sin in their lives.  Even a quick prayer, at the time of correction, with them in my lap.  Transform me into Your image.  Continue to shape me and change me.  I want to please You, God.  I want my days here with these little ones to bring You glory and honor.  May it be so.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Dec. 9, 2006 - On childish mistakes

Of the many things that happened at our house this morning, this was one of them:  My littlest (20 mo) found a stick, came into the kitchen where I was washing dishes, and poked me, HARD, with it. 

I wish I could say that I handled it well.  But I can't because I didn't.  I reacted in anger and disciplined my son. 

Immediately afterward, I regretted my response as I remembered this from Elisabeth Elliot's devotional recently:

I believe this wholeheartedly. 

In fact, when people have asked me how to know when to administer the rod of correction, I would say this:  "If you've told them NO and they do it anyway, they are defying you and need to be disciplined." 

As for the stick, it may be arguable that my son knew better than to poke someone with a stick.  But in hindsight, I know that he was not trying to be naughty.  He was curious about this stick he'd found (if you're wondering what a stick was doing inside the house, it was actually a dowel I had lying around for some project).  He picked it up and was experimenting with how to play with it.  I had not told him not to touch it, not to poke me with it, etc.  And yet, I reacted.  As if he was willfully disobeying me.  Which he wasn't. 

Don't these childish mistakes happen often at your house?  They do mine.  My son plays with the toothpaste and ends up getting it all over himself and the entire bathroom.  Because he's curious.  He's seen mommy squeeze out the toothpaste; he's imitating me.  Or when he's trying to "help" unload the dishwasher, like he sees me do.  But the dishes are dirty, and now they're all over the place. 

What a wonderful reminder to allow our children to act their age-- unless we've told them not to.

The title of this devotional is A Child's Obedience.  To read it in it's entirety (and I recommend that you do!), go here.  And if you're not already getting Elisabeth Elliot's daily devotionals emailed to you, I cannot emphasize enough that you should. 

Have a wonderful day with your children!

~Stacy

Update:  Or, for instance, when you're making Christmas cards and your boys discover a stamp pad and wipe it all over their hands, faces, pants, and the floor.  Which is what happened about an hour after I posted this entry.  And, yes... things like these-- definitely a regular occurence at our house.  Good thing I'm working on my response! 

Dec. 3, 2006 - My sweetest girl

Dearest sweet girl of mine,

You are five years old today!  This morning you said to me, "Now that I'm five I'm probably too heavy for you to carry me."  Nope, sweet girl...  I am thankful there is strength in my arms to hold you-- even with you at the big age of five! 

Why does five seem such a landmark?  Five whole years.  That's half a decade.  I get a little teary on these occasions.  It truly is going so fast. 

As I prayed this afternoon over lunch, I thanked God for blessing us with your little self five years ago.  Who knew then you would be such the little woman you are now?  I see so many qualities God is forming in you, and my heart overflows with gratitude for how He is growing you up. 

You are very responsible.  You take instructions very seriously, and follow them to the letter (most of the time ;)). 

You have such a nurturing spirit, tending to others' needs so well.  You have this wonderful ability- even at five- to see a need and move to meet it.  When I began going to prayer meetings during our lunch hour this year, all of a sudden once a week it was just you, daddy and the boys.  Daddy told me later how you would walk straight to the fridge, begin pulling out leftovers, and telling him what you'd be eating.  And then you would sit at the table with him, and so grown-up, say: "Daddy, how is work going?  Who did you talk to at work today?"  You were filling in my role.  I love this.

You have the gift of service to others.  You delight very much in helping- especially with your little brothers.  Or with me in the kitchen.  "Mommy, is there anything I can help you with?"  is something I hear often.  This summer you helped so much with the harvesting of our garden- snipping beans, husking corn, gathering apples, pulling carrots.  And if I give you a task, or if it's time for your chore, you do it joyfully. 

Your spirit is sweet and compassionate.  When someone gets hurt- daddy, mommy, or your brothers, you often burst into tears right along with them.  You are so empathetic.

You have an incredible memory.  It really does astound your daddy and me... you remember things spoken long ago that we've since forgotten. 

You are so social- always chatting.  Even when it's quiet time, you are chatting with your baby or Flopsy or your dollhouse guys...

This year you have taken to answering the phone every time it rings (which I don't mind, except for when you're chattering all about what's going on at our house and I'm still wondering who it is, (and hoping it's not a stranger!)).  You also love getting the mail, and you know good and well which mail is the fun mail and you tear those things open first. (This, I do mind!)  And you've also taken to telling daddy all the important news of our day.

You began doing chores regularly this year, and am I ever thankful for your help!  Right now you make your bed, get yourself dressed (and my oh my, you do come up with the most interesting outfits!), unload the clean silverware from the dishwasher, clean up the toys (you're my best cleaner-upper), clear the table, put your dirty clothes away, and recently: sort and fold all your own laundry!  In addition to all those things, you are often running to and fro for mommy- retrieving a diaper, helping your brothers turn on a light, assisting in finding something, etc.  What I am especially thankful for is your happy heart as you help.  Thank you, my sweet girl.  May your hands never tire in loving and serving others.

This past year we went through the ABC Bible Verses book, and you learned all those verses with such ease, we have tagged on many new verses.  We continue to marvel at your ability to remember God's Word, and are so thankful you are hiding these words of life in your heart.  Oh, how I pray that you will love God's Word.  And that you will not be just a hearer, (and a knower) but a doer, too. 

You joined me many times for my quiet times this year.  There are days that I head off with my Bible and my journal, and you come in moments later with your Bible, and your "journal".  You have joined me, laying on your tummy on my bed, praying with me for others.  Your prayers are earnest, and full of faith.  Your prayers are also consistent, and I have learned much from you in this.  While I tire of bringing the same requests before God, you never do.  You pray for the same thing, over and over and over again.  Many times a day.  More than any other thing, I pray that your love for Jesus and your trust in Him will grow.

This year you began sitting with us through our church service.  This was instigated by you, (yet as I ponder this I wonder that it wasn't God's idea, surfacing through you wanting to be near us.)  What a delight it has been to have you worshiping beside us.  I have learned from you in this, too.  You come to church, ready to worship.  You take your coat or sweater off, climb atop your chair, and immediately raise your hands in praise to God.  No matter the song.  Or if you know the words or tune.  :)  You belt it out, delighting me and surely your Father in heaven who hears your voice.  You listen to the sermon, too- and mark in your journal your own "notes".  You- always my shy girl in groups- have grown in this, too.  At church you are confident beside us, and shake hands and smile and give hugs and run across the church to greet Grandpa and Grandma and Gary and Diana. 

I love you so much, my Ella girl.  Happy birthday to you.  I am thankful for a year full of precious memories with you.

Happy to be your

~Mommy

Nov. 29, 2006 - On taking time

Yesterday was a difficult day.  It wasn't that my children were especially difficult.  I'd say it was a fairly average day as far as disobedience goes. 

Sep. 28, 2006 - On daddies

This past week my daughter (4) and I were sitting on my bed.  I was sorting socks.  She had just finished 'nursing' her dolly quietly and was now tucking the baby into bed.  She was telling me all about her baby and was being such a sweet, nurturing "mama". 

I commented- as I often do, "Honey, you are going to be such a good mama someday."  I then added, "I wonder if God will give you sons, daughters, or both?" 

Then I said, "When you get married and want to go on a date with your husband (Mark and I had done this earlier in the week), you can bring your children to grandma's house and I can take care of them for you!" 

She was pondering this all with a very serious expression.  She finally said, "It's going to be hard to find someone to marry when I get bigger." 

I asked, "Why do you think that?"  And she said, "Because all the daddies are already married."

:)

Sep. 21, 2006 - Honoring the Sabbath

Recently Rebecca asked the following question:

For as long as I have been a mommy but particularly more recently, I have struggled with what to do with myself on the Sabbath.  The fact is that as a mommy, my "work" doesn't end on Sunday- I still need to provide meals, clean up children, manage the household, etc.  I'd be interested to know how you and your readership spend our day of rest without having to play major catch up on Mondays while honoring the Sabbath in a way that is glorifying to God, as well.

Isn't this a great- and important- question? 

I know that I have much to learn in this area.  We have come a long way in honoring the Sabbath, but still are not where I'd like us to be as a family, either. 

As with any day when daddy is home, I know that my tendancy is to want to take care of all those chores (and errands) that I can do without our children in tow.  In time, though, I have learned to be purposeful in not doing these things on Sundays.  Similarly, since Mark rarely has a Saturday off, it is tempting to work on house projects on Sundays.  But, we refrain. 

The other thing we try to do is to make our meals simple on Sundays.  For breakfasts, I try to put something together the night before (Dutch Puff, muffins, etc) or when morning comes, we all eat cereal before heading to church.  For lunch we pull leftovers out of the fridge or make sandwiches.  For dinner, we do something equally simple.  And we all pitch in to help get it on the table. 

When Mark and I put our children down for naps, I often crawl into bed and take my own nap.  Or we curl up on the couch with books and read.  Or we sit at the table together and play a board game. 

I can't tell you what a blessing it has been for our family to rest on our Sundays.  

I can't wait to hear what you readers have to say in response to Rebecca's question.  I know our family has much more to learn in this area, and I'm anxious to glean from those of you who are purposeful about keeping the Sabbath. 

So.  How do you do it?  How do you spend your Sabbath day?  What things do you avoid?  How do you rest when you still have the regular demands of motherhood? 

~Stacy

Sep. 19, 2006 - Getting dressed

I have a daughter.  And she has clothes in her closet.  Put those two together and you get a daughter who likes to dress herself.  Oh my, is this an adventure!

The outfits my daughter comes up with are- I can’t even think of a word to describe them.  Interesting?   The word still doesn’t quite do it justice.   

Those sweet dresses I purchase aren’t quite so sweet-looking when there’s a t-shirt worn OVER the dress.  Or pants underneath it.  (I've never actually been particularly fond of that look.)  Or when those cute saltwater sandals are worn with socks. 

That little pink and grey stocking cap her great-grandmother made is darling, but not so much so when it’s worn with shorts and a tank top.  In the middle of summer.  Or when she chose the whole shorts-over-the-top-of-a-pair-of-pants look.  (You know, for those cooler summer days.)

A few years back I remember being at the grocery store or the mall and I would see other little girls, four or five years old, and think: “Does that mother have NO fashion sense?  Her daughter is wearing stripes with a floral pattern!”  Now I know.  My daughter wore that same combination just today.  If each item has one like color- today it was pink- she figures it's a match!

 

 

And she thinks a striped shirt ‘goes’ with a striped pair of pants.  No matter if the stripes are going the opposite direction.  She’ll prance into the room in the morning and say, “Mommy, look!  Stripes, and stripes!” (pointing to her shirt, then to her pants.)  She is so delighted with herself I don’t have the heart to say, “Oh, honey, no.  No, no, no.”

 

Or she’ll appear wearing ALL OF ONE COLOR.  Red shirt, red pants, red socks.  “Mommy! I’m matching!  I’m all red today!”  Nevermind that they are three separate shades of red, one bordering burgandy.

 

And she often chooses clothes for her brothers. 

 

Here's the thing: I personally actually do like my own clothes to match.  But I let her get herself dressed every morning but one.  (That would be Sunday mornings).  I realize I could inform her which clothes go well together, but I know we'd be having that conversation over and over again while she tries to figure it out.  And honestly, I don't want to expend the energy and conversation over something as shallow as clothes.  It just doesn't matter.  She'll learn soon enough. 

 

And then there's this verse: "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  So I am trying instead to focus my energies on her heart.  On those specific patterns of sin in her life that we're aware of.  And when we do talk about clothes, we talk about issues of modesty. 

 

So her clothes clash like nobody's business.  And some days I have to swallow my pride as other mothers gawk at or comment on her ensemble and remember that it's her heart that matters, not what clothes she's wearing.

 

~Stacy

Sep. 15, 2006 - Gift ideas for little ones

**Warning: This is a lengthy post.  I am a detailed person and I feel the need to write not just a list, but every single possible detail imaginable behind why that item made the list.  So, read on only if you're a good speed-reader or if you have some time on your hands.**

Michele asked the following question:

With Christmas coming (yes it is coming!) and kids' birthdays too, I'm starting to wonder about gifts for the kids and things to recommend to relatives. I always say books, books, books, but they like other ideas too. What are some toys/books/art supplies/etc that you really really love and that your kids use a lot?  I'm thinking preschool age - under 5. I look forward to hear what you recommend.

Good question!  We have upcoming birthdays, too.  And Christmas gifts to buy shortly afterwards.  So gift ideas have been on my brain, too, lately.  I'll do my best to answer.  This is actually a great question for both Amy and I to answer, because our children play very differently.  She will likely have different suggestions than I will. 

I am above all practical.  My favorite gifts are those I can USE, and use often. I tend to view gifts in light of that for my children, too.  So, when giving recommendations to our parents, I first think: What do they need?  This year I told my mom that my son could really use a new set of sheets.  He has a solid-colored set right now, and I told her to get him some "boy sheets" (trucks, trains, Bob the Builder, construction...)  You name it, he will think those new sheets are so much fun.  And then it's something we don't have to purchase.  Other ideas in this 'practical category' are clothing items: pajamas, shoes, coats, etc.  Think ahead to spring/summer season, too.  Last week my husband had a backyard campout with our two oldest children, and I realized that my son (2) doesn't have a sleeping bag.  But by next summer, we'll want one for him. 

Okay, onto the ideas you actually asked for.  The toys/books/art supplies ideas.  :)  (But in my defense, you did say "etc" so I felt like I had the liberty to put the practical stuff out there! :))

GIRLS

My daughter (4) would be happy if we bought her a baby doll for every gift.  Or little outfits for her baby doll.  Or diapers, or shoes, or a stroller, or bottle, or... whatever else there is for babies.  And there is lots.  Our ONLY idea for her this year is to buy her a baby doll.  And I plan to sew some clothes for that doll, too.  *Note: we made the mistake last year of buying her a Dora doll.  She didn't know who Dora was, but she'd seen a Dora doll in a sales flyer and wanted it.  And then she talked about Dora incessantly (and pointed to her image wherever we went, for many months).  Our plan was to buy her a baby doll, but we caved in to the Dora crush and bought her a Dora doll, and one outfit.  I wish now we'd bought her a baby.  A baby doll is so much more fun for a little girl than a little girl doll is.  Much more nurturing to do with a baby.  More holding, caring for.  Dora remains largely un-played with at our house. 

When my daughter was two, we bought her a Fisher Price Loving Family dollhouse.  This dollhouse provided her with hours of entertainment.  Really.  Hours.  She's nearly grown out of it now, but we will be hanging onto it.  She still plays with it occasionally, and my two-year old will, too.  And my 18-month old likes to climb onto it or bang on it with a hammer.  It's multi-functional, for all ages.

The other idea I have for my daughter is notecards and envelopes.  She sees me sending out cards and wanted her own.  One of the best gifts we ever bought her set us back by 99 cents.  It was a box with 12 notecards, 12 envelopes, and 12 stickers- to seal the envelope.  She loved it.  I really think she might cry tears of joy if she got a stash of her very own cards and envelopes.  Add to that some stamps so she could put them in the mailbox, too... and she would be delighted!

The other thing I think she'd like (but she doesn't have) are washable stamp pads and stamps.  The stamps our children use belong to me, so I'm a bit protective of them.  And my stamp pads are not washable, so they're only allowed to use them with my hovering supervision.  But they think stamps are pretty cool.

BOYS:

Well.  My son is perfectly happy with his little bin of matchbox cars.  Really.  I think we have about 40 that we've collected here and there, and he carts that bin full of cars around the house with him EVERYWHERE.  Pulls out a few cars, drives on the couch.  Hauls his bin to another room, drives them on the bed.  Carries them up and down the stairs, stops to drive.  This summer we used our sidewalk chalk to make roads for his cars to drive on and neighborhoods for them to drive through.  Such fun, those cars are.  We've also made all sorts of ramps and tunnels (paper towel or wrapping paper tubes; cut windows in them so you can watch the car go down.  Very fun.)

The other toy we have that is a hit for our boys is a Playmobile train set.  This was a hand-me-down from my little brother, so it's older.  Big chunky plastic track pieces and cheery trains.  I'm sure these are much, much more advanced now and probably have flashing lights and noises, but my boys' favorite part is laying out the track.  The more track pieces to work with, the better. 

Another favorite at our house is our Tinkertoy Construction Set.  I found ours at a garage sale for $5.00 and couldn't believe we hadn't had one yet.  Ours is a Special Edition Super Crane set (2001) so I think it has some extra pieces, but it is very fun.  My husband really likes to build things with the kids, too. 

What haven't I mentioned? 

My children love puzzles.  Your standard puzzle and the Lauri puzzles.  We have the ABC ones (uppercase and lowercase), and love them.  It's a great quiet time or table time activity, too.

What about music?  We've talked before about our favorites in kids music.  I really can't say enough about Judy Rogers.  Truly.  We recently purchased her Why Can't I See God? CD, which has Judy and a group of children singing songs based on the Westminster Catechism.  My daughter walks through the house singing songs about glorifying God and obeying her mommy and daddy.  Can't get much better than that.  It delights me to hear her singing these songs. 

How about some unconventional gifts like a zoo pass or children's museum membership? 

Okay, I think I've covered what we like around here.  Besides books.  We love those.  But I'm also pretty choosy about books so don't always like others to buy them for us. 

Time to close.  My husband just came up behind me and asked, "What chapter are you on?"  I have been furiously typing (and thinking) for about the last hour.  Okay, maybe a bit more. 

But I would love to hear some of YOUR responses to Michele's original question.  What are some of your favorite gifts to buy for the little ones?  Happy commenting!  We could all glean from your ideas, too!

~Stacy

Sep. 13, 2006 - Breaking a habit

My daughter is sharp.  I mean, this girl forgets nothing.  Is this a common trait for four-year olds?  I am continually amazed at her ability to remember details I’ve forgotten.  Or simply her ability to latch onto something I once said and remind me of it. 

Once upon a time we told her that bicyclists should wear helmets; that it is not safe to ride without one.  As true as that piece of information is, I rue the day I ever told her that.  Because every- and I do mean every- single time we see a biker, she comments on their head apparel.  This is what I hear, constantly, from the back seat:

“That guy is wearing a helmet.  He’s safe.”

or

“That girl is NOT wearing a helmet.  She’s NOT safe.”

or

“That guy is wearing a hat.  But that’s NOT safe like a helmet.”

To my great regret, her little brother has now picked up the refrain, so now we hear it from both of them.  Which is all fine and good if we’re in our van.  (Well, okay, not all fine and good.  It can be a little tiresome.  There are a LOT of bicyclists where we live.)  But as you well know, four year olds have no qualms about saying anything to anyone wherever they may be.  So when we’re outside, and a bicyclist passes us, my daughter will holler “He’s NOT wearing a helmet.  He’s NOT safe.”  For all the world (and most especially, that particular bicyclist) to hear.

Another time, she heard her cousins using the expression, “Oh my gosh!”  She picked it up quickly.  That expression doesn’t sound pretty coming from a four-year old’s mouth, so we told her not to say it anymore.  She used it only a couple more times, which resulted in very stern reprimands from her daddy and I.  But I discovered quickly that her cousins were not the only ones with that habit. 

One day I was on the phone, happily chatting away, and I heard my daughter gasp and saw her eyes widen.  She clapped her hand over her mouth and stared at me with great alarm.  I couldn’t figure out what the problem was.  Everything seemed fine to me.  I interrupted my conversation to see what the trouble was.  “Mommy, you just said a naughty thing!”  I did???  “You said that thing we’re not supposed to say.  Remember?”  It took me a couple of minutes to realize just what it was.  And then, OH.  I say “oh my gosh”, too. 

Well, not anymore, folks.  She’s made sure of that.  And if I falter, she immediately reminds me.

So I’ve smartened up considerably since realizing this about her.  I decided to use her abilities in this area to my benefit. 

Recently I was spending too much time on the computer.  You know, “checking in really quick” throughout the day, to check email or blogs.  In an effort to halt this, I told myself that I could be on the computer for only 20-30 minutes in the morning, and then TURN IT OFF until naptime, when I would then have more time after my quiet time while everyone is napping/resting.  And then I would not be on it again for the remainder of the day.  At least until daddy’s home.  So I informed her of my plan: “Mommy has been spending too much time on the computer.  I’m only going to do it for a little bit when I get out of the shower, and then NO MORE except during naptime, okay?” 

Now when I even step anywhere near the computer during the day (to retrieve something from my desk, to pick up a toy next to it, to open the shades above the desk, etc) I get this shout-out: “Mommy!  Remember?  No computer until naptime!!!”  She keeps me honest, that girl.

Well.  There’s another habit of mine I would like to break.  I have hesitated to tell her just yet because it’s something I say a lot, and I know I won’t hear the end of it when she finds out.

I say “you guys” a lot.  I think it’s synonomous for “ya’ll” in the south.  “It’s good to see you guys!”  “Come on, you guys.  It’s time to go!”  See?  Lots of occasions to say it.  This habit didn’t bother me until recently. 

Last week my son (two), was praying at dinnertime.  He usually thanks God for each member of our family.  On this particular night, rather than name each of us, he figured it was simpler to pray, Thank you, God, for this guy (he points to me), this guy (pointing to his little brother), this guy (pointing to daddy), and this guy (pointing to his big sister).  Hmm.  This gave us pause.  I explained to him afterwards that his mommy and sister were not “guys” but then quickly pointed out to Mark that he’s likely saying that because I always refer to our children (as a unit) as “guys”. 

I’m now rather concerned that my children might walk up to an elderly couple at church and say, “How are you guys?”  I’d be mortified.

So I’d better tell her I mean to stop saying it.  Soon.  In a matter of weeks I should be free of the habit. 

~Stacy

Sep. 8, 2006 - Any and all potty-training tips: WELCOME

Seriously.  Help.  Please.

First, let me just say that I am not one of those mothers who thinks a child ought to be potty-trained by a certain age (well, okay... by 7, maybe) but I am tired of changing my son's diapers.  And I am tired of buying the diapers when it seems he should be able to go on the toilet.  (So am I contradicting myself?)

He will be three next month.  We have gone through seasons of trying to do this (a few days here and there over the past year), but it hasn't worked.  Or, more likely, we've gotten lazy or busy and stopped working at it with him. 

He may not be ready but I sure am.  But if I could be sure he's not ready (too young, whatever-other-reasons-there-may-be), I wouldn't press it.  But we think he is.  'Think' being the key word in that sentence.

This past week or so I have been saying, every half hour, "Let's go!"  And we scurry to the toilet.  And he does it.  Potty only.  He's still having accidents a couple of times a day and not going #2 at ALL on the toilet (which is really why I'd like to stop changing the diapers, obviously.  For the #2 occasions, not so much the #1 occasions.)

Sigh.  I keep waiting for some lightbulb to go off and for him to initiate it on his own (am I in la-la land?)  But we're not seeing that yet.  At all.  So do I then surmise that he's not ready?  Do I just keep at it?  Do I.... what do I do?

And yes, we did do this before with my daughter.  But that was completely different: she was barely two, and she just 'got it.'  She was excited to go potty on the toilet.  And within one week she was potty-trained, day and night.  So I can't really compare the two.  At all. 

So.  Any suggestions? 

~Stacy

Sep. 5, 2006 - Teach Them Diligently: Part two

Sep. 4, 2006 - Modest apparel

As my daughter gets older, it is increasingly difficult for me to find modest clothes for her.  It can be a frustrating event to go shopping, as often what I see on the racks is not what I want to clothe my daughter in.

This summer I was looking for some pajamas for her at Target and found instead what looked like linger*e for 4-year olds!  My options were abundant if I was shopping for silk, satin, lace, and see-through pajamas, but for the life of me I could not find any normal cotton  pajamas.  I was appalled. 

Then there are the t-shirts with phrases emblazoned across the chest that are inappropriate for any age. 

I know I'm not the only one.  I stumbled across Everyday Mommy's site today, and this is what she's doing about it: 

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Many retailers, marketing and PR firms review mommy blogs for trends and opinions.  If we speak as one we may be able to effect change. 

Moms for Modesty

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Head on over to her website and read the Moms for Modesty Mission Statement.  If you agree with the mission statement, "sign" your name by adding a comment. 

~Stacy

Note: I will post Teach Them Diligently: Part two on Tuesday afternoon.

Aug. 30, 2006 - Habits

Yesterday I read this from Charlotte Mason's Original Homeschooling Series (Volume 1)*, regarding habits:

For example, and to choose a habit of no great consequence except as a matter of consideration for others: the mother wishes her child to acquire the habit of shutting the door after him when he enters or leaves a room. Tact, watchfulness, and persistence are the qualities she must cultivate in herself; and, with these, she will be astonished at the readiness with which the child picks up the new habit.

"Johnny," she says, in a bright, friendly voice, "I want you to remember something with all your might: never go into or out of a room in which anybody is sitting without shutting the door."
"But if I forget, mother?"
"I will try to remind you."
"But perhaps I shall be in a great hurry."
"You must always make time to do that."
"But why, mother?"
"Because it is not polite to the people in the room to make them uncomfortable.'"
"But if I am going out again that very minute?"
"Still, shut the door, when you come in; you can open it again to go out. Do you think you can remember?"
"I'll try, mother."

"Very well; I shall watch to see how few 'forgets' you make."

For two or three times Johnny remembers; and then, he is off like a shot and half-way downstairs before his mother has time to call him back. She does not cry out, "Johnny, come back and shut the door!" because she knows that a summons of that kind is exasperating to big or little. She goes to the door, and calls pleasantly, "Johnny!" Johnny has forgotten all about the door; he wonders what his mother wants, and, stirred by curiosity, comes back, to find her seated and employed as before. She looks up, glances at the door, and says, "I said I should try to remind you."  "Oh, I forgot," says Johnny, put upon his honour; and he shuts the door that time, and the next, and the next.

But the little fellow has really not much power to recollect, and the mother will have to adopt various little devices to remind him; but of two things she will be careful––that he never slips off without shutting the door, and that she never lets the matter be a cause of friction between herself and the child, taking the line of his friendly ally to help him against that bad memory of his. By and by, after, say, twenty shuttings of the door with never an omission, the habit begins to be formed; Johnny shuts the door as a matter of course, and his mother watches him with delight come into a room, shut the door, take something off the table, and go out, again shutting the door.

Charlotte Mason goes on to say that often the mother will begin thinking, "Oh, Johnny's been doing such a great job with that.  He's hardly forgotten at all..." and she'll let up on her diligence once, then twice... and the habit is no longer being solidified. 

---

Now, shutting the door doesn't really happen to be a problem in our house.  (In fact, I'm always trying to encourage my children to leave doors OPEN around here.  When I hear a door close it generally means that our youngest is being excluded (since he can't yet open a door).) 

But I think what Charlotte Mason says about tact, watchfulness, and persistence being qualities a mother must cultivate in herself is right on.  I see this so often in myself.  I will find myself getting frustrated with whining, or delayed obedience, or poor table manners, or... fill-in-your-own-blank-here, and I will purpose to work on it.  And we will.  I am diligent, I am purposeful, I am mother-on-a-mission.  For the first several times.  And then my child will whine and I choose- for whatever reason- to let it go, and then again a second time, and eventually we're back at the same place we began.  [Not that my sweet children whine.  Oh no.  I'm not saying that.]

~Stacy

* You can read Charlotte Mason's Original Series online, at http://www.amblesideonline.org/CM/toc.html.

Aug. 29, 2006 - Short and sweet - Pictures Added!

We went camping last weekend and had a blast!  We're all really glad we went.

On the way home, Mike and I felt like there were a few things that we had really done well considering the stage of the life of our family right now.  Here are the tips we wrote down so we can remember them next time we go.

1. We only stayed for one night.  Seems simple but it was really the key for us.  The nighttime was the only part we did not enjoy.  Between the really cold temperatures, the toddler not used to sleeping in the same room as us all –or used to sleeping outside, and fact that I am pregnant enough to be up all night, we were really glad we were only sleeping there for one night.  So, our analysis is that it is good (when you are a young family) to have two days to play (the fun part) but only one night to suffer through.
2. My hand washing station was a hit!  I brought one red and one green plastic bin and a bottle of foaming soap which I diluted.  We filled both up with water and explained to all the kids that they stop at the red station to rub the soap on and off their hands, rinse in the green tub and then go.  They all really enjoyed washing their hands many, many times and I enjoyed having hands cleaned that often!
3. My camping list from last year.  I have mentioned before that I type out my packing lists.  Then as our family changes, I can add and delete as necessary.  But when I pulled out the list from last year, I saw that we really liked having oatmeal for breakfast last year, that two air mattresses fit well in our tent, and that bringing extra toys for the kids was unnecessary.  After we returned home from this trip I added our new info and things we had learned.  Next year, I will be one step ahead when I pull out up “camping pack and plan” file.
4. We went with another family.  This was really fun to have the extra kids, see how others camp and have our meals all together.
5. It is most fun to bring meals that are all put together and only have to be heated and served.  Like soups in a bag, oatmeal in a bag, egg salad in a bag, etc.  Things that do not require prep.  Just one pan, one spoon and our plates, bowls, or bread! You do not want to do many dishes while camping!
6. Bring a water jug and small Dixie cups, so the kids don’t have juice boxes or some other sugar drink every time they are thirsty, but we all keep well hydrated. 
7. Our evaluation from last year says that we do not enjoy camping with nursing babies.  For us, it is just too hard with only little people and no helpers to have one of the adults out of commission every three hours.  And in the night to have a baby waking is also an extra trial.  We will see if we listen to our own advice next summer, we have ignored this same advice from ourselves with each baby so far (and been sorry). J

So there you have it, what we learned on our short and sweet camping trip 2006.  Did you already know all this?  Do you have more tips?  Well, share ‘em!

~Amy

[edit]  I added some pics for Amy at Stacy's request.  Of course, there are none of me b/c I'm taking them.

~Mike

Fun w/ paddleboats

More fun w/ the boats

E-bo taking on the slide.

Fireside picture.  Took many shots to get this to work w/o the flash.  Our boys on the right, friends on the left.

One of the other ones that turned out.  Had to set ISO to 1600 for this one.

You can see the handwashing station and water cooler for the kids.

Fireside pic w/ flash.  Kind of cool to see the sparks and the effect of the heat on the background.

Aug. 25, 2006 - A purposeful change

Yesterday morning we headed out the door to go somewhere.  Like anytime we are headed anywhere, my arms were full.  I had my purse, my keys, the diaper bag, and a bag full of produce from our garden to bring to a friend.  I was also holding a piece of paper with directions.  And I was bending down to hold onto my youngest son’s hand to help him down the stairs. 

My four-year-old daughter turned to me and said, “Mommy, what can I help you carry?  I can carry something for you.”  I debated this for a millisecond and then said, “Okay, sweetie.  How about if you carry Mommy’s purse?”  She agreed, and took it from me.  Then she pointed to the piece of paper in my hand and offered, “I can carry that for you, too.”  And I handed that to her.

When we got to the street, she held her little brother’s hand to help him across.  As they stood next to the van waiting for me to open the door, a truck passed and I noticed that she put her arm around her brother and tucked him nearer to the van.  When she climbed into the van, she took the items she had carried for me and laid them carefully on the passenger’s seat, and then went and climbed into her own seat. 

I was so touched by her actions. 

Normally I would have said, “Thank you, honey.  I am so proud of you for how you helped mommy, and for how you took care of your little brother as he crossed the street.  You are such a sweet girl.”

Today I said, “Do you know what, sweetheart?  Mommy can really see God at work in you.  Because this is what I saw you do…”  And I told her that I saw how she was honoring me by offering to help me.  And that her honor for me was her obeying God’s Word, and that He delighted in her obedience.  So I did, too.  I pointed out a few other things I’d observed in her recently, and then said that nothing made me happier than to see her obeying God’s Word.

I purposefully didn’t say “I’m so proud of you” like I normally do because I’d read this post a few days ago.  I’ve thought about it many times since I read it.  You should read it, too.  So, scoot.  Go read it. 

~Stacy

Aug. 22, 2006 - More than mediocre

The following is written by Dr. R.C. Sproul Jr. and was published in the September 2006 copy of Tabletalk magazine.

It has been said that any given job can be done with two of three qualities.  It can be done quickly and cheaply, but not well.  It can be done quickly and well, but not cheaply.  It can be done cheaply and well, but not quickly.  We have, as a culture, chosen quickly and cheaply.  And having chosen thus, we find ourselves diminished, for we find that we like it that way.  We find that we are not merely willing to accept mediocrity, but that we crave it. 

The Bible offers a different call.  We are to do our work “as unto the Lord.”  We should be known by the world around us as the most diligent of laborers and craftsmen.

When I die, I know those who know me will not be saying the following things (if they are being truthful),

“She was the most loving person of all.”

“She was the best cook!”

“She was the best homemaker I’ve ever seen.”

“She was the most creative… the most organized…. the most patient…”

Or any of the other qualities I would love to be Christ-like in.  But I do hope it can be unanimously said, “she was always striving.”  I never want to settle for mediocre.  I do not want to sit back and say “oh, well” while my heart is still beating.  I want to instead do my work “as unto the Lord,” which means it will always need improvement this side of heaven. 

My motive should never be to earn anything, but instead my striving should be out of an overflow of gratitude because of all that I’ve received --thou I deserve nothing.  Gratitude because I know from what I have been saved.  I know how things would/could be if I did not have the Lord to do all things unto. 

This is the cry of my heart as a reforming mama.