Posted in Homeschooling General
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Tips for a Great School Year By Donna Reish Fall 2007 School is just around the corner---or already begun for most of us---and as I was pondering the beginning of school and a “kick off the school year” Training for Triumph e-newsletter, I thought about what I would want someone to tell me if I were a new homeschooler (or a homeschooler who needs encouragement) at the beginning of the academic year. Thus, my ten tips for a great school year . 1. during this year (mid February, maybe?) there is a strong possibility that you will need to be reminded why you are doing what you are doing. Be prepared by either finding or writing your homeschool vision---during a time that you can clearly see and remember that vision. Your homeschool vision may be as simple as a statement saying, “We homeschool our children because it is the best way to educate them—socially, academically, spiritually, and physically and because God called us to this during the year 1983.” (I know, I’m dating myself here! That was the year we learned of homeschooling and homeschooled my younger sister.) Or your vision may be as detailed as journaling the how’s and why’s of your early calling to homeschool including the benefits of homeschooling your children in every area, along with relevant verses that God has spoken to you through the years concerning the training of your children—perhaps even signed, dated, and notarized! Whatever it is, get it ready for those potential mid-winter blues! 2. summer, so when it is time to “start school” in the fall, it usually involves changing what we’re doing (gone are those long afternoons at the library!) to less fun activities and more academically-intense ones. To bridge this gap (or to bridge the gap from no school to beginning school again in some people’s cases), we gradually end our Dig out or rewrite your homeschool vision. SometimeStart up slowly. We school at least part time during the15 summer activities and gradually add in our fall school books, routines, and classes. We start out with partial days, allowing us to continue mowing, summer cleaning (that didn’t get done yet!), and outdoor activities (bonfires, handball, grilling out, etc.). Gradually, as daylight shortens, we continue adding more of our regular routine in, until by the first of October or so, we are going full steam in all areas. You might not have the luxury of doing this if you have not acquired a couple of dozen school days during the summer (if you live in an area where a set number of school days is required) or if you are bound by your state’s standards or curricula; however, even easing into the books in general might be less overwhelming to your students (especially if school has been a foreign concept all summer). For students who have not read or written all summer, easing into school allows more time (and less pressure) to review those forgotten skills. As a side note here, we have found our school to be more successful when we have the same exact schedule the first two or three hours of the day nearly everyday---including summertime---at least forty-eight weeks of the year or so (obviously, Christmas break, heavy travel weeks, and other breaks and “deadlines” don’t allow us to do this all the time). What I mean is that everybody, ever since Joshua (first born, age twenty-three) was a preschooler, has had a similar schedule year ‘round during the first two to three hours of the day---morning routines, Chore I, Bible alone, Bible with Dad (sometimes this has only been done in the evenings throughout the years, as our life/work schedule has changed), morning reading with Mom (devotional and chapter books), breakfast, and breakfast clean up. By maintaining this schedule consistently, there are no summer days in which children get up, eat cereal in front of the television, start out their days playing on the computer, etc. Real life involves getting up and doing what you need to do before playing (most of the time), so they may as well get used to it early on! (Of course, being the fun mom that I am, 16 there have been (and continue to be!) times when I surprised the kids and said, “It’s raining. Let’s not do school today, but let’s listen to story tapes all day and play with Legos!” or “It’s too cold to get out of bed, let’s snuggle in Mommy’s bed, eat peanut butter sandwiches in bed for breakfast, and watch a video instead of doing our work!” (I’m not a complete bore, you know!)) 3. Be flexible. A willingness to change---whether it be curriculum, approach, schedule, or other---has been one of the foundations of homeschool success for us. We simply do not continue with what doesn’t work. (On the other hand, when something does work, like Calculaddersmath drill or we do it forever!) Flexibility is truly a key to homeschool success. In my the schedule often needs changed every physical season when you have a baby—the newborn in your arms and the bassinette soon becomes a creeping, curious baby, and what you are able to do at certain times of the day also changes. Taking that thinking one step further, what if a month into the school schedule your brilliant idea to do math with your second grader right after lunch just isn’t working---he is either too tired/distracted or you have to get the younger ones down for naps sooner in the day than you anticipated when you designed your fall school schedule? Rather than being frustrated the whole school year, pull your schedule out and see what can be altered to create a successful school day. The same thing is true of curricula and classes. We have already discovered that Kara (age sixteen; who continually takes more “classes” than she has time for with speech, debate, editing, and music) will simply not be able to squeeze the US History in this fall that she wanted to do (in spite of her already doing US History via debate and unit studies for years!). Character Sketch character/Bible program,Homeschool Helps for Moms tape series, I describe how17 That curriculum got shelved; she hopes to pull it out during the second semester. Last year’s phonics attempt for our then-first grader is being replaced this year with a curriculum that was developed with his type of learning style in mind (despite the fact that I used the same curriculum to teach my other six kids to read). The science book that we used last year for our unit study has been thrown out in favor of the real books we formerly used with success. (There’s a sample of when I shouldn’t have changed in the first place; for fifteen years I have used real books for elementary science. My boys’ library cart is filled with real books about science topics (and even moreso, history topics) every week, so why didn’t I stick with the tried and true last year?) The point is that books and curricula are tools for you. When you become slaves to them—and dread school because you are using something that doesn’t fit your child’s learning style, your family’s schedule, your time allotment for one-on-one work, etc., it is time to make a change (even if it is a Training for Triumph item!). 4. Provide accountability for your students. I hear moms say all of the time (and I say it too when my charts are not done or when my charts are being “tweaked” and I’m not using them faithfully) that “Joey just won’t do his work without a hassle” or “Susie doesn’t finish everything by the end of the day.” Ray has a philosophy that he uses on me sometimes---though he has learned when to say it and when not to say it (!)---“Our children are just doing what we want them to do.” When I am not in the mood to hear this, he goes on to try to explain, “Donna, if we are letting him/her do this (not do his chores, not finish her math, etc. etc.), it must be what we want him to do. If we didn’t want him to continue in that behavior, we would put a stop to it.” Aggghh….okay, he does have a point. If I wanted the child to do something, I would parent him to help him learn to do it. In a way, the child is doing what I 18 want. I must not want the change too badly if I allow the bad behavior to continue unchecked. One of the best ways I have found through the years to be sure the children do what they are supposed to do is to provide accountability. Let’s face it, all of us have tendencies to not do what we are supposed to do—Paul even did (“things I want to do, I don’t do; things I don’t want to do, I do”). How much truer is this in the life of a child (“who thinks like a child”) than in an adult? Why do we think we can rattle off a list of things to do and expect an eight year old to go do it---without any motivation, accountability, and instruction? Enter the chart. Yep, the chore chart, the school schedule, the independent work chart, the morning routine board, and much more. I have used them all through the years (and the more I have used and the more consistently I have used them, the better school year I have had). In a nutshell, if you want your child to complete a certain list of items each day---whether those are school items, spiritual growth activities, chores, or whatever—providing him with an ongoing list of some type (wipe and write chart, photocopied daily list, etc.) andfollowing up on that list each day (or whenever you expect it to be completed) is the answer. The follow up, of course, is another challenge. For younger boys (twelve and under) or our girls (who didn’t really need daily charts or consequences from age twelve on, at least), we have had the most success when there are definite consequences for unfinished or poorly-done work. (Discerning between childishness and foolishness is another aspect of follow up and consequences that should be considered when determining rewards, punishments, and consequences.) For example, if laundry is not done by a certain time of the day (and the items on the list are in the order in which they need done, sometimes with deadline times listed), more work is given (usually fifteen to thirty minutes, depending on age of child). If 19 the evening meal was not planned ahead and the person needed everyone’s help at the last minute because of poor planning or not starting early enough, etc. (and he has been fully trained in that area), that person had to assist another person on his dinner night, etc. (For more information about childishness/foolishness, check out our Young Children discipline, check out Dr. Kevin Leman’s Without Losing Yours different, based on the child’s personality (why doesn’t he get done—because of dawdling?), but generally, speaking, that aged boy reports to Ray with his charts (and meets with him and me to plan his work). One caution: don’t get caught up in silly punishments that have no effect on future behavior, such as sitting in a laundry basket for ten minutes when he didn’t finish the laundry or sitting down holding hands with a sibling when they argue. The reality of the situation is that if you don’t do your work, you usually just have more work---not that you sit in the laundry basket or climb up the stairs on your hands and knees! 5. Just say “no.” I recently read Cathy Duffy’s description of the early days of homeschooling during the early 1980s. (I realize people were homeschooling before then, but this was what many consider to be the beginning of the “movement.”) It took me back to 1983--the year I homeschooled for the first time. I was a married, twentyone year old mother of a toddler, and my sister was a cognitively disabled eighth grader having trouble in school. The thing that Mrs. Duffy said that I remember vividly was how few choices there were—in curriculum, in activities, in support systems, etc. We were blessed when Abeka quietly began selling their Christian school books to homeschoolers. (Of course, we were especially blessed by the pioneering efforts of Dr. Raymond Moore and Gregg Homeschooling Withtape series; for more information about realityMaking Children Mind.) For boys over twelve, so far, it has been20 Harris.) And yet, I look back now in longing to those days, at times. We had support group meetings in our living room that first year (imagine a twenty-one year old mother of a toddler and her twenty-four year old husband trying to help people homeschool—thanks be for the grace of God!). We planned a few field trips and a handful of gym times/family gatherings. Even fastforwarding to as few as fourteen years ago, my five children ten and under and I rarely left the house during the day more than once or twice a week. We stayed home and “did the stuff.” There truly is something to be said for fewer choices. Now, it is difficult to say no to the many, many choices of activities, classes, lessons, clubs, sporting events, ministry opportunities, etc. available for homeschoolers. We offer cottage classes in our learning center (formerly our garage) and in a church in the Fort Wayne, Indiana area. I am amazed at the kids who come to our classes and tell me the activities they are in that force them to run at least every afternoon and often some mornings (and then evenings for sporting events, clubs, and church activities) too—some up to a dozen activities a week. Do I think our cottage classes are beneficial? Yes. Do I think they help families in their homeschooling efforts? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I think they are for everyone—nor that people should do our classes along with too many other clubs, classes, sports, etc. How can we “do the stuff” at home if we take a child to a dozen clubs, classes, lessons, games, and practices each week (per child!)? When we run everyday with our kids in tow, how much school do they truly get done? How many chores and household responsibilities do they learn if they are not there consistently to learn them? It is time for homeschoolers to “just say no.” Look at your schedule. Decide what is really best for each student in your family. Do only the best of the best (which is different for each child/for each family). Say no to the rest. 21 (For more help in this area, check out School, and Home It is difficult to say no. Others are sometimes offended by our saying no. We are afraid our children will miss out on something too valuable. We are sure that without all of these activities, our children will not “keep up with the Joneses.” And yet, how much character and skills are built by doing the normal, daily ins and outs? Could it be more than the activity would provide? How about hour for hour or minute for minute comparisons? (See this.) We need some kinds of checks and balances in place to ensure that we do not try. We have a tendency to say, “Oh, this activity looks good.” Or “Oh, Johnny wants to do this” and then do it—without considering if it is truly the best thing for that child and for our family. We need to examine our time and priorities more closely than most of us are. Each day, each hour, each minute affects our lives. Yes, we need relaxation—and I enjoy entertainment just as much as the next person, but we fill our lives (and our children’s lives) with busy-ness that often has no eternal or long-term effect. We are each here for a purpose—including our children. All of our activities, time, skills, interests, intellect, creativity, time in history, family make-up, and much more shape that purpose— or help develop it. We should live purposeful lives. Our choices should reflect the fact that we are created for a higher purpose than simply living. We need to help our children do this as well, instead of just going through the motions, without considering why we are doing what we are doing. We need to have benchmarks, checks and balances, and purpose in choosing our and our children’s activities and education. our Prioritizing Your Life,tape.)Home Court Advantage by Dr. Kevin Leman for more onTen Tips for a Great School Year Part II of ?
By Donna Reish I made the mistake, in the fall, of starting a ten point article about having a good school year—only to discover that my ten points will take pages and pages to make—at least to explain some of the details the way I desire to. So, if you will bear with me, this article will focus on only one—albeit lengthy and important—tip for having a great school year (and being a successful homeschooler overall). This month I will begin with what I should have begun the first part with: first in your homeschool are three main areas I would like to focus on that we have found to be vital in our homeschool: 1) teaching character;
Many homeschooling parents have an incorrect concept of teaching God’s Word to their children. We are trying to remedy this through Ray’s presentations about the successful homeschooling father, offering character and biblical principled books and materials, and sharing some simple ways we have found to do this whenever we can; however, in a nutshell, you do not have to have a Bible degree or Bible background to be sure that learning to choose a version that you can easily understand yourself, open the Bible (start with Bible stories or the Gospels, which are familiar to most Sunday school children, if unsure of yourself), read a passage, and discuss it. Ray does this all the time with our little guys—they call it “Bible talk,” and it takes no preparation, special books, or understanding of Greek or Hebrew! Simply read a few verses and talk about them. Our children remember more from these “devotional” times than they do our “official” Bible teaching. In addition to simply opening the Bible and reading it/discussing it, there are numerous Bible study and Bible-related books available to simply read with and/or to your children. It doesn’t have to be a massive curriculum or in-depth program. Just start somewhere! There are family devotional books in which everything you are to say/read is spelled out for you. With younger children, reading from way to teach them God’s Word and principles. We are not skipping Bible in our homeschools for lack of materials! If we skip Bible, it is because it is not a priority in our lives. Through the years, we have coined our Bible learning “interval training.” Just like interval training in exercise is switching from easier to more challenging exercises (not that I would know much about that! ), Bible interval training for us has come to mean that we would begin our day with the Bible, end our day with the Bible, and have Bible training and teaching throughout the day, at various intervals—with us and independently for those students who are able to do so. This might sound overwhelming, but it isn’t at all when it becomes a way of life for you; once it becomes part of your day, it is just like washing dishes three times a day (or more!); you just do it. Let me give you a sample of this—and show you how painless it is to accomplish once God’s Word and Scripture-focused teaching are central parts of your homeschool. (I should say here that we have a “more often than not” rule for everything we think is important. We don’t beat ourselves up when we don’t do something everyday—we have a goal to do everything we think is important more often than not; thus, each of the things listed below occurs at least three or four times a week (though some are five or six).)
Early am night!): Kids’ private devotions; little kids Bible on tape or Bible story and tape set; Mom and Dad prayer time individually; Mom and Dad read devotionals independently/listen to devotional materials while driving
AM character book that teaches character with Scriptures; a short biographical sketch about a godly hero—a mainstay of our homeschool for many, many years (fulfilling Bible, character, and possibly worldview training!); a nature devotional; and a fun chapter book (Christian or secular)
Mid-morning chores
Late morning doing other simpler work like penmanship; older ones do Bible curriculum of some sort on their own—Bible paces from Alpha Omega, read from That Demands a Verdict
Lunch time sources
After lunch chore session (depending on ages)
Afternoon or two; youngest two read Family Bible Library together; older ones do independent work with Bible-based curricula, such as CQLA, Apologia Science, etc.
Late afternoon character stories to the younger ones
Early evening dinner, doing a load of laundry, or setting the table
Evening and/or Dad; family worship a couple of times a week; family read aloud a couple of times a week from a Christian novel or “fun book” like
or
Late evening discipleship type or parenting/homeschooling book; children reading biographies, Bible books, etc. or listen to character or Bible tapes This has changed over the years (sometimes more worship type activities, sometimes more Bible memory, sometimes more focus on creation science, etc.), but the same structure is there: one of our primary reasons for homeschooling is to teach our children God’s Word and God’s Ways, so our day should be filled with it. A funny thing happened when Kayla was in her freshman year of ministry school last year. She was taking a class called hermeneutics in which they learned how to study the Bible. Now Kayla is a Bible scholar-in-training on her own, having read over a thousand Christian books during her school years and studying the Bible extensively herself. (She is studying to be a missionary/evangelist/Bible teacher, after all.) But when she was in this class, she already knew most of what was taught—either through our homeschooling or her own studies. At the end of the semester when she met with her professor, he asked her if she learned much in any of the four Bible classes that year, and she humbly said that she did learn some things, but her parents had already taught her most of it (which I think is hysterical considering she knows ten times more about the Bible than I do, at least, and I didn’t even know what the word hermeneutics meant when she began the course!). Anyway, he went on to say that he understood how that could be in Old Testament and New Testament, but she probably didn’t already know the information in hermeneutics, right? She said that we had studied that, too, and that her parents taught her how to study the Bible using charts, graphs, concordances, dictionaries, root word studies, etc. He was shocked to say the least. (I was especially proud of Kayla for used in hermeneutics in their Bible college (that another teacher used for this class) was one of her sixth grade Bible study books! By the way, that book was Kay Arthur’s book, The point to this lengthy discourse is that the Bible and its teachings must be central to our homeschools; otherwise, we are not following the admonition in Deuteronomy to teach these things all throughout the day and night any better than families whose kids go to school all day. We have to make it a commitment that academics or busy-ness will not crowd out the teaching of God’s Word and ways.
The second aspect of keeping God’s Word and ways central to our homeschool is character training they often think of studying character materials, which is only a small part of character training—probably the least important part, actually. We have found that excellent character training involves several key things:
I.
II. mind of Christ and the fruit of the Spirit, emphasizing that as Christians we have obligations to live out those characteristics we are reading about
III. to us before other privileges are earned with those outside our home
IV. constantly
V. character
VI. training in their lives—until readiness for those situations has been achieved (which, we feel, is much later than most of us think!)
VII. thoroughness in household work, resourcefulness in serving, diligence in schoolwork, deference to siblings, etc.
VIII.
Modeling godly character for our children. is, of course, the most challenging one--but probably the most vital one. We simply cannot expect anything of our children that we ourselves do not have in our lives. Period. Children can spot hypocrisy a mile away. How many times have we told our children to do something that we are not able or willing to do ourselves? How many times have we told our children to stop a certain behavior that we do? If adults in their lives cannot have self-control, reliability, diligence, perseverance, etc., how can they, as children, have those?
Study godly character in books, focusing on how we are to have the mind of Christ and the fruit of the Spirit, emphasizing that as Christians we have an obligation to live out those characteristics we are reading about.
Character Sketches, The Power for True Success, materials are excellent for studying character—seeing what God has to say about a quality, observing how it is or is not displayed in someone’s life (especially Bible characters and godly heroes), studying the presence of or lack of the quality in the lives of animals and the physical world, discovering ways to apply the virtue in our lives and homes, and much more. Reading character materials should provide the “why” for godly living and character training— teaching our children that we try to exhibit the fruit of the spirit and have godly character because we are born again—and God calls us to. The “how” is developed, in part, by studying the quality as described above, but this is just the beginning. Seeing that Moses demonstrated great loyalty is important, but understanding how loyalty can be played out in our lives and our relationships with others is even more important. Yes, knowing that Moses was loyal (and the story surrounding that) is a start—we can build from that start in explaining how we can be loyal, but character study in books cannot be replaced by discussing character right where we are (see below).
Expect and reinforce godly character at home with those closest to us before other privileges are earned with those outside our home. children a grave disservice when we assume that when they grow older, they will be kinder, more attentive, more responsible, etc.—and then let them have privileges that should be reserved for those who show godly character to those closest to them first. If a child cannot be kind to his siblings, he has no right to play with friends. If a child is not diligent at home in his work, he has no business serving outside of the home. Character begins at home. I am not suggesting that our children have to be perfect in order to leave the house, but they should be known for their good character at home—which will qualify them to have outside friendships, serve others, etc. We see this rooted in the verses that explain that we should begin our service in our hometown, then expand from there. Or the ones that say Discuss character and a biblical lifestyle constantly---and I do mean constantly.
After modeling godly character for our children (not perfectionism, but being “characterized” by Christian character) and teaching them about the attributes, we must talk about character (as well as all of the Bible and biblical principles) all the time. Following are some tips we have found for this, but we must develop open lines of communication with our children in all areas in order for them to listen to our instruction in godly living. 1. Talk about how a character quality can be lived in your home with your children after studying a certain quality in a book. “Okay, we can see how the men who lowered their friend through the roof to be healed were resourceful, let’s see how we can be resourceful right here at home.” Then extend that to being resourceful in other situations, as well. (Many families have a character quality of the week or month that they are studying, trying to practice, and reporting on at the evening meal.) 2. Discuss how godly character was displayed or wasn’t displayed by others. Your children must understand that when you do this, this is family talk, but we have found it to be extremely effective. You are not trying to put others down by doing this. You are recognizing both negative and positive character—and using it for a teaching tool. Another advantage in doing this is helping our children discern the types of people they should or should not befriend. To do this, we usually ask our children when we leave an event, “How did someone show good character while we were there?” And they will quickly point out that someone was kind to a younger sibling, obeyed a parent immediately, helped clean up after the meal, etc. We continue with, “How did someone not show good character while we were there?” And again, they quickly point out that someone excluded a younger sibling, rolled his eyes at his mom, behaved inappropriately towards someone of the opposite gender, etc. We then discuss why these behaviors are good and why they are bad—what the Bible says about them, what proper responses would be, etc.
3. Talk about good character and behavior during non-conflict times. We have a tendency to wait until there is a problem, then begin giving a long list of bad character that this child is having. Our training will go a lot further if we talk about what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior when a child is not behaving poorly. Now, obviously, when negative character is being displayed, it must be dealt with (see below); however, when we discuss and train during non-conflict time, we avoid confrontations—and have a prior teaching time to refer to when discussing good or bad character later—“Do you remember when I was telling you about the new guy at work who works so diligently? Well, he doesn’t have anything on you, Mr. Diligent!” Or, unfortunately, “Do you remember how we were discussing the importance of being counted on the other day? When you do not follow through on moving the laundry around, I can’t count on you. I want you to be the type of person who can be counted on—in little things like moving the laundry—and then later in big things when you are a dad yourself.” 4. Talk about expectations ahead of time. This is especially important in younger children, but all children can benefit from knowing what is expected of them. Tell your children what you expect behavior-wise in any given day. (“Today is a busy day with piano lessons this afternoon and company tonight, so we all need to be especially diligent and prompt in all of our jobs.”) Tell them what is expected when you are doing anything out of the ordinary— using this as a teaching time to teach deference (“Since there will be many elderly people at the Christmas dinner, you need to move slowly (no running!) so you don’t run into one of them”); resourcefulness (“Look for ways to bless the people who prepared the food for us, even if it is just warm words.”); selfcontrol (“Do not take more than a spoonful of each food until everyone fills his plate”); selflessness (“We should let others go first in the line during the dessert night as others should get the biggest and best pieces; remember, that is what Jesus would do.”), etc. When our older children were younger, every time we got in the van to go to something and every time we were having company, we would have the same routine: “Who are the most important people who will be there tonight?” Ray or I would ask. The children would answer: “My brothers and sisters!” “Who should you guard and look after?” “My brothers and sisters!” “Who should you defend and help?” “My brothers and my sisters!” “Who are your best friends tonight and every where you go?” “My brothers and my sisters!” We always told the children that if they could not show godly character to their family, they could not grow up to be godly husbands and wives. A funny thing just happened the other day that reminded me of these times. I was asking one of the girls what she thought of a certain young man. (With three girls, ages twenty, nineteen, and sixteen, a lot of our discussions end up being about the character or lack of character of young men! ) Anyway, I asked her where she thought this young man would fall on the “marriageable meter”—a family joke we have about potential future husbands having to “make the grade on Mom and Dad’s marriage meter.” Anyway, she said that she used to think this guy had potential as a good husband (not necessarily hers, but in general) until she heard him talking disrespectfully to his mother, then she knew he wouldn’t. See, all of those character discussions are paying off!
5. Discuss what the Bible says about certain behaviors and character traits. The mantra “What would Jesus do?” has more truth than we realize—in our lives and our children’s lives. Everything our children do should be viewed through the lenses of God’s Word. 6. Discuss cause and effect of good character and bad character. Sometimes our children will learn these on their own—but preparing them for them will a) help them learn some of these lessons without having to go through them (!) and b) give them a frame of reference when a negative effect results from their wrong choices. This just happened the other day with our youngest, who came to me in tears and said, “Mommy, it’s just like you said when you told me that nobody wants to be around someone who is selfish and that nobody will want to be my friend if I don’t quit being selfish. It’s true, Mommy, it’s true. Josiah just told me that I couldn’t play with him because I keep wanting the best for myself all of the time.” He had a point of reference on which to base the effect of his negative behavior. 7. Talk about the blessings of following God’s Word and ways. Sometimes we don’t have what I would call “character lessons”; we just talk—we talk about how God is blessing one of them for their good choices, how they are paying for their lack of wisdom in staying up too late the night before an early test; how much their dad and I want God’s best for them—and the only hope they have of seeing that is in following God—and living out his character in their lives.
Punish (when appropriate) and give consequences for poor character.
Sometimes “talk is cheap,” so to speak. We have gone over and over a certain expectation recently in one of our children. We’ve done everything in that list above, and we still have a lingering negative character trait that is affecting the entire family. This particular quality must be turned around in order for this child to follow God’s will in his/her life. (How was that for discretion? ) He/she will never accomplish much in life for God or for his/her family without these important qualities of thoroughness and dependability. It is up to us as parents to guide and direct this child’s behavior. We must use consequences (and probably drastic ones like taking away something dear, which I hate doing as I turn into a softy when it comes to leaving a child out of something fun the family is doing!) in order to help this child learn these character qualities. It is quite possible it will result in punishment (rather than just consequences) as it is quickly leaving the “childishness” category and moving into direct disobedience. Poor character and behavior must be dealt with.
Keep our children away from situations that would thwart character training in their lives—until readiness for those situations has been achieved. and grow up” culture we live in, we put our children in situations with other children, non-family adults, and others long before they are ready to handle them. We keep our children home from school in order to avoid negative socialization, then we drop that good discernment in choosing our children’s activities (ten second graders staying overnight together, unsupervised most of the time?). A “good” friend in children (one in which children pledge their loyalty to and confide in) can be the literal undoing of much character training. I don’t have the time or space to go into this in the detail it needs right now, but I admonition you to carefully guard your children for longer than you think you need to!
Give children opportunity to practice godly character—thoroughness in household work, resourcefulness in serving others, deference in sibling relationships, diligence in schoolwork, etc. practice godly character, we have opportunity to reinforce, add to, and direct that character. They see the fruit of good character in a home in which love is spoken and good character is appreciated. They will desire to please their parents. They will want to make their siblings happy by helping and encouraging—as they do the right thing and receive affirmation and encouragement for it. Not all of the time; we don’t expect our children to be little robots. But we should instill character in them in such a way that they desire to do what is right. When our older children were little and we had family meetings, Ray would tell the children that he was going to do what the Lord did to the churches in Revelation—tell them the good things the church was doing followed by something the Lord saw that needed improvement. Ray would then point out many of the ways they practiced good character—the things he and I saw them do in their housework, relationships to others, schoolwork, etc., then he would give the one thing to work on. (It was a bit more dramatic than this!) It was through their daily ins and outs and the opportunities they had to show responsibility, loyalty, kindness, resourcefulness, diligence, etc. that we could train them in even more character. I hope I haven’t made this whole process sound simplistic; it isn’t. It is a day by day, hour by hour process. I hope I haven’t given the impression that we are experts at it with no difficulties. That is far from the truth. I have called Ray at work crying because of a child’s bad behavior/poor character twice in the past month. A child has called Ray at work even more often than that to “talk.” Raising children for the Lord is the most challenging job we will ever have—it lasts for years and years and involves so much emotional and spiritual energy. But it is what we are called to do; we cannot shirk our responsibilities—or we are not modeling the character of Christ. Over and over again in Scripture, parents are admonished to train their children in God’s ways—including godly character.
The final way of making God and His Word central to our homeschools is to teach our children a Christian worldview. we’re doing the first two—teach them the Bible and teach them godly character, and they will have a Christian worldview—but it doesn’t quite happen like that. I like to think of teaching children a Christian worldview as the first two on a much grander scale—applying the Bible teaching and character training to our world. However, application, as we adults who try and try to apply what we learn at church, in our reading, and at seminars well know, is the most challenging part of learning. For instance, a Christian worldview, in my opinion, would teach children to see the sanctity of life. We teach them when life begins, according to the Bible and the basics of conception. Then we teach them that abortion is murder because of when a baby becomes a “human.” However, if we stop at that—and we have untempered, prophet-like children—we can end up with a child who thinks it is okay, for instance, to bomb an abortion clinic because they are committing murder there. We have not taken the worldview teaching and combined it with our Bible teaching and character training on the large scale that is needed. Teaching children a Christian worldview involves learning the how’s and why’s of what we believe. It involves taking that Bible teaching and character training and going one step further. It involves sociology, history, science, current events, and much more. It involves seeing what the world says about sociology (marriage, homosexuality, friendship, etc.), history (beginning of the world, treatment of people groups throughout history, policy decisions, wars, etc.), science (creationism, age of the earth, proof that there is a divine creator and a literal seven days of creation, etc.), current events (abortion, ending life ourselves, political persuasions, etc.)—and comparing that to what God’s Word says. Thankfully, there are people around the world today who work tirelessly to help us teach these things to our children. There are Christian scientists, researchers, historians, and more who are out there doing the legwork to prove that God’s Word is true and lines up with the way the world really came into being, etc. These people are available to help us help our children have a Christian worldview and be able to defend their faith. I have never felt qualified to teach Christian worldview. For one thing, for years and years, I stayed home four days a week teaching and training my children; rarely saw non-Christians; never watched television, read the newspaper, or listened to the radio; and much more. I didn’t have a good education in history and science when I was in school (but am getting better as I teach these things to and learn these things with my children; by the time we graduate Jacob I should finally be well-educated!). I’m not saying that it was bad to be so consumed in my home—it was the way it was. Ray worked sixty to seventy hours a week in the business world, and we had many small children. It was what I was supposed to be doing at the time. However, because of my isolation, so to speak, and my lack of training, I didn’t feel like I could teach these important things to my children at all, since I had no grasp on them myself. Then we met Ken Ham. I will never forget the convention in Indianapolis, Indiana in which Ken Ham, this incredible Australian, Christian apologetics scientist and researcher spoke. We drank it all in. We had no idea how to teach our children that God really created everything in seven days, that the earth is only a few thousand years old, that dinosaurs and animals lived together, that dating methods used by worldly scientists are often absurdly inaccurate, etc. etc. We bought tapes of every one of his sessions and loaded our basket with creation science books. That convention was the beginning of many conventions in which Ray would come home and get the children out of bed at midnight (on a church night!) and show them new books, tell them what he learned, and read to them from some of the books. (Last year, I had the opportunity to speak at a convention in which the two keynote speakers were Gregg Harris and Ken Ham, two people who have been instrumental in our homeschool success. I teared up every time I walked by one of them. It was such an honor to be speaking at the same convention with two people who played vital roles in life changing aspects of our family.) Anyway, thus began our worldview teaching. That was followed closely by our attendance at a worldview conference, then debate training, etc. etc. Here is a list of some of the resources/helps/methods we have used in teaching our children a Christian worldview: 1. Ask them questions. (Is this a common theme in teaching? I guess it must be since Jesus, the master Teacher, modeled it for us over and over!) We like to ask the kids what they think of something and why. What proof do they have? What does the Bible say? etc. etc. This leads to discussion, which is the next point. (Now our children—of all ages—ask us questions to start discussions. On the way home from church the other day, one of the little boys asked what everyone in the van’s definition of hero was; an interesting, God-filled discussion followed that. And the “teachers” didn’t even start it!) 2. As I have pointed out (repeatedly!) in earlier sections, one of the best ways to teach our children is to discuss everything with them. We have made this a way of life in our family, to the point that there is no peace around here! Everyone is constantly discussing everything. (Side note here: Joshua (first born, 24 year old, married, lives nearby) is at our house this evening working on his taxes with Ray. He took Josiah’s (age 11, fifth grade, sixth of seven children) root beer and starting drinking it after telling Josiah that if Josiah gave him part of his root beer, he would answer any questions he had about President Garfield and John Browne (which Josiah had been bugging him about the entire time Joshua was trying to do his taxes!).) Discussion is an important aspect of teaching and should be implemented especially in worldview teaching. This is very true of question, then discussion, question, then discussion, etc., causing the children to answer questions and arrive at their conclusions as everyone responds and interacts. 3. Reading aloud followed by discussion (or interrupted with discussion around here!). Ray and I realized early on that we knew very little about these important subjects that we needed to teach our children. We constantly took them to museums and just told them that the signs were lies and they shouldn’t believe them. We told them that those things are against the Bible—not what God teaches. However, we didn’t know why; we didn’t know there was proof corroborating what God’s Word says. Books by many of the authors and sources below have helped us to teach those important answers. We have been reading aloud to the children from those (and other spiritual and discipleship type books) for many years. (As a matter of fact, Kayla told me just recently that she first knew that she could not live her life for herself but should devote her life to full time Christian service when we were reading aloud from a book by Philip Yancey when she was eleven years old. I don&rsquo |
Posted in Homeschooling General
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Dreading the Start of School As the start of school draws near every summer/fall, I hear homeschooling moms say over and over how they are either (1) dreading the start of school (for various reasons cited below) or (2) welcoming the first of school so they can have some semblance of order again! The ones who say they are dreading the start of school often cite many reasons for this, but these reasons usually fall into a few definite categories. It is these reasons for dreading school that I would like to address in these “thoughts.” Reason #1: Hard to get back into a routine. The funny thing about this reason is that as many people who cite it for a reason to not want to get back into school also cite it as a reason to want to get back into school---they want the order and routine that a school schedule affords. I won’t spend a lot of time on this reason since I discuss it below in my Ten Tips for a Great School Year Part I article, but I will say that the more order and schedule you develop in your children’s lives all of the time, the easier it will be to get back into school each fall. Reason #2: Dreading dealing with the discipline issues involved in making children do what they need to do in school. I have dealt with this through the years many times, so I understand how this feels. There have been times in my homeschooling life that I dreaded getting out of bed in the morning because I didn’t want to deal with a child’s behavior or lack of cooperation. It is a terrible feeling—one that homeschoolers, especially, cannot afford to have. We are responsible for our children’s education, and if there are character, behavior, or cooperation issues, it will make it impossible (or nearly so) to provide our children with a good education. As Christian parents, we have an obligation before the Lord to try to turn our children’s behavior problems around. The Bible makes it clear that we are disobeying if we do not discipline our children. If our child’s attitudes or behavior makes it such that we dread school, we have to do something about it. As I mentioned earlier, this dread of school due to behavior issues (in two year olds and twelve years---all ages) has happened to me many times throughout the years. Thankfully, Ray is a better disciplinarian than I am, and no discipline problem has been too big for him yet, so that has helped me turn things around a lot. But in general, we talk through the situation, trying to pinpoint the root of the problem (in a two year old, too many choices too early; in a twelve year old boy, the need for Ray to take over much of the accountability and follow-through; my lack of consistency; an overemphasis on academics while neglecting character; too much busy-ness; too many peer-related activities, etc. etc.) and try to act on it. It usually takes both of us working hard to solve the problem, and sometimes I don’t even realize it has been solved—I just wake up and realize that I no longer dread dealing with that child—and I look forward to school again. I cannot emphasize enough the need to get a handle on the discipline problems in our children. I am amazed at the number of homeschoolers who dislike dealing with their children. Everything is a battle; every assignment another argument; every chore another task to be debated; every rule another reason to complain. I don’t know how a mom can handle homeschooling with ongoing discipline problems like those. Don’t get me wrong. Every family has its moments; every homeschool has its moments; every child has his moments; for that matter, every mother has her moments. However, every day should not be a battle that has to be fought or an hour-by-hour struggle. I know I sound like a broken record, and I am sorry for that. I just want homeschoolers everywhere to succeed. I want to help homeschooling families raise children who love the Lord and serve others and Jesus Christ. I want to raise children who love the Lord and serve others and Jesus Christ. This is nearly impossible in a home in which children rule. I cannot emphasize enough the need for homeschooling parents to get help with their discipline problems. Check out Gary Ezzo’s Growing Kids God’s Way, James Dobson’s Strong-Willed Child, SM Davis parenting tapes, Reb Bradley’s materials, or others. Get into a parenting support group or small group, especially one filled with homeschoolers who have the same goals you have. We went through Growing Kids God’s Way (GKGW) a dozen years ago with fellow homeschoolers (and then led some other GKGW groups), and it literally changed nearly every family in it. We still share our successes and goals as a result of taking that class together. Reason #3: Too much summer freedom for Mom! Homeschooling moms deserve breaks! I say Friday lunch out and scrapbooking for all homeschooling moms around the world every week! J Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Those with younger children find it difficult to find someone to care for the littles. School doesn’t just happen without mom there to supervise. Those with older children often find it challenging to get away without the older children needing something—either taken to lessons, tutored, or discipled. Homeschooling moms are busy people! Because of the demands of homeschooling, I see many moms shutting down in the summer—in more ways than just academically. We are all ready by May to turn our attention to other things. For many of us, we just need some time off from school to get household projects done that simply didn’t get done during the school year. For others, it is a time to enjoy the sun and traveling. Whatever the reason, we can, if we are not careful, shut down as mothers too. Moms whose children are involved in summer sports and activities can find themselves separated from their children as much as if the children were in school. Without realizing what is happening, we start shuttling kids to their things in the summer, and then we are no longer teacher, and sometimes no longer mom (in terms of meeting emotional and spiritual needs, disciplining, and training). It becomes easy to not have to deal with sibling disputes (they’re each on a different team), undone chores (easier to do ourselves while the kids are at practice), uncooperativeness (they cooperate for summer teachers and coaches), and more. We go to the games, sit in the stands and visit with friends, then take everyone home and start again the next day. Before we know it, fall is over, and we have to resume our many roles—after having had time to garden, tan, read, and visit with friends. (I’m not saying any of that is bad; it is just different than our normal routine and makes it difficult to want to get back to the hard work of school.) Even if our children are not being shuttled to activities all summer, they might play with neighbor kids, go to camp, go swimming, or fish with grandpa more than usual—and we get some much-needed free time to finally read or nap some afternoons. Or we decide (as I have in the past) that I’m going to scrapbook every week this summer—I haven’t gotten to scrapbook in four months, and I owe this to myself. Regardless of the circumstances, summer free time for Mom can make the start of school look less than inviting! It is too late this fall, but I urge you to evaluate your summer activities carefully next summer. Be sure training is still ongoing, so you don’t have a lot of undoing to do once school starts. Be sure you have a good balance of activities—not too much peer interaction for kids nor too much extravagance for Mom. Either extreme can make school books and lesson plans seem overwhelming come September. Reason #4: Feelings of inadequacy. I describe in great detail the dangers of comparing ourselves with others in our prioritizing tape (and I do not have space in this newsletter to convince you that it is not a good thing to do), so I won’t go into a lot of detail about that now. I also realize that no matter how often we are reminded of the dangers of comparing ourselves to others, we all still have lapses into that damaging pastime. So….I instead will address the result of comparing: feelings of inadequacy. As homeschooling moms we can have feelings of inadequacy in any number of areas—our children’s character, our children’s academic achievements (or lack thereof), the season of life we are in, teaching not being a strength, and much more. I won’t spend much time on our children’s character making us feel inadequate. We have all been there—everybody else’s kids are perfect, and ours are impossible! I fell into this rut so much when my older kids were younger that they actually acted good in order to keep me from stressing out! (We now talk about it in great detail and I realize how damaging that can be to kids; I don’t repeat that with my younger ones.) Character issues make us not want to start school at all (as described above). Of course, the anecdote is not skipping school this year! It is digging in and facing the behavior and character issues as described in the article below. A major area of feelings of inadequacy in homeschooling moms is that of our children’s academic achievements. We often dread starting school if we have a child with a learning problem. It is tough to face. We are sure that we are ruining that child. (Been there, done that!) First of all, we have to understand that many, many homeschoolers have children with learning problems. (We always think others’ situations are ideal, and this just isn’t so.) I have had two children who did not learn to read until they were nearly nine—and one of which who never learned to spell above about a junior high level due to learning difficulties. Learning to read and write was a struggle with each of these children. I have one now who is over eight years old and still struggling with short vowel families. I can become discouraged, sure that he would be better off in school, or I can keep pressing on and try to make reading happen for him. Second of all, we have to believe (see writing your homeschool vision in the article below!) that homeschooling our children is God’s best. We have to believe that not sending them away to school is truly superior. We might need help along the way (there are sources of help for those dealing with vision/tracking difficulties and dyslexic tendencies nowadays that were not available to me fifteen years ago), but our children belong at home with us. We are brainwashed into believing that “real” teachers can do a better job with our children than we can. To that, I have two answers: (1) Nobody knows and loves your child more than you; and (2) Real teachers are not necessarily good at teaching. I was a trained teacher, nearly finished with a reading specialist’s master’s degree (and I had a 4.0 grade point average) when my second child was learning to read. Yet I had no idea how to help her. Public school teachers learn to teach by teaching (not from teacher’s training in college)—the same way homeschool teachers learn to teach. (Teachers learn classroom management, grouping children, lesson planning, scheduling, bulletin board and game making, and similar things in college.) My latest inadequacy has been interesting: that of feeling inadequate because of my season of life. I feel like a “has been”! I envy young moms so much and find myself crying because I’m no longer one of them. (I’m not sad because of my age; I’ve never been one to care about getting older in terms of numbers; however, I do care that I will never be a mother of young children again.) What a strange thing! Young moms wish they were in a different season (one that looks easier to them from a distance), and older moms long for the “good ol’ days.” I don’t have a real solution for this inadequacy—especially not in the fall of the year when my season of life and past losses are the most pronounced. I do know that despite my feelings of inadequacy in this area, I must enjoy the season that I am in (which I do) and not let those feelings of inadequacy get in the way of having a terrific school year! J Because I love teaching (and I love learning how to teach as I go through the years teaching my children and tutoring), I have never dreaded the start of school because of my not enjoying teaching. However, I have come to look at this whole “all homeschoolers have to love teaching school” concept differently in years past. It suddenly dawned on me how blessed I am to be homeschooling since I love teaching so much. I mean, teaching is fun! I adore it. When my older kids were little and Ray worked twelve hour days, I used to “do school” eight to ten hours a day most days. It was my hobby. Anyway, then I began thinking about moms who studied biology or business (or anything other than teaching), and it hit me: not all homeschooling moms love teaching. (Okay, I’m a slow learner!) There are many whose major area of interest is not education. There are those who would rather draw blood and analyze it (aghh..) than teach school. There are those who enjoy working on computers (double aghh..) rather than educating. There are those who would rather do almost anything than teach (like I would rather do anything than draw blood or work on computers!). If it is dealing with or biblically training your children that causes you to dread starting school, then you need to take that up with the Lord. He doesn’t leave those things as options according to whether we enjoy them or not. We are called to those. However, I also feel that we are called to homeschool. Does that mean that every homeschooler has to love teaching academics? I don’t necessarily believe this is true anymore. There is so much more to homeschooling than teaching math lessons. If it is the actual “teaching” that is causing you to dread school, and you can afford to get some video classes, cd studies, internet courses, and/or pace-type workbooks for your children, I say, go for it. Just because you homeschool does not mean that you have to “teach” six subjects a day to each child. A major part of homeschool success stems from doing what works for you and your family. If getting a video teacher or self-teaching program helps you meet your homeschool goals, you should do it. If teaching eight hours a day works for you, you should do that. All homeschoolers are teachers—teachers of God’s Word and ways, teachers of character, teachers of life principles, and much more. Just because you don’t like teaching math does not mean that you should dread starting school. So…what’s making you dread the start of school? Let whatever it is go, and enjoy your school year. There are great things in store for you and your children as you learn together at home! J |
Posted in Homeschooling General
Creating a Love for Learning in Your
Part II of III January 2005 Donna Reish I. Focus on Your Learners Focus on learning styles Throughout my twenty-plus years of homeschooling, there have been many buzzwords and trends—just like in any other endeavor. The problem with buzzwords, so to speak, is that they often alienate those who are not in the know. I can remember when I first began homeschooling my sister—and I had just graduated with an elementary education teaching degree—and every thing I read about homeschooling seemed to talk about learning styles. Even as a trained teacher in elementary education, I felt intimidated by this buzzword. Let this be a lesson to us seasoned homeschoolers not to make this lifestyle seem too difficult or out of reach for others. I see this happening all of the time as everything gets new labels and definitions. Homeschooling our kids doesn’t have to consist of some unknown skill that only those educated in Latin can comprehend! That said, what about these learning styles that intimidated me so? Well, I found out later that the bare bones of learning styles is figuring out what makes your kid tick! Yes, they fall into three categories: auditory, visual, and kinesthetic. And yes, they each have their own characteristics—but once I got past the labels and definitions, I could see my kids clearly in each category. From the beginning, Joshua and Kayla could listen and comprehend anything they heard, it seemed. Both of them had poor penmanship and were not artistic. Neither one was musical. While they both loved building with Legoes—even this time had to be accompanied by talking books and radio dramas. Cami, on the other hand, wanted to sit right up against me as I read morning reading—in case there were any pictures to look at. She adored those little Learning styles—just seeing what makes our children tick. And trying to cater to that as much as possible. For Joshua and Kayla, this meant read aloud a few hours a day, radio dramas by the shelf-ful, presidential speeches while they did their educational coloring books, etc. For Cami, this meant hands-on math, workbooks at a young age (despite the fact that I did not care for workbooks for young children), and not relying on verbal explanations of things only. Even multi-tasking is directly related to learning styles in my kids. Kayla and Joshua both get bored if they only do one thing at a time—they have to be listening to something while they do repetitious work (like circling all of their verbs in the Checklist Challenge) or they get bored. Cami, on the other hand, is usually telling the little guys to turn Oddyssey off while she does her CC. Let learning styles help you determine your child’s best work environment, curriculum picks, types of books for research based writing (i.e. visual kids love Usborne books!), and more. But do not let the idea overwhelm you or dictate your kids’ behavior. Even kids who like to be doing need to learn to sit still when told and even kids who are auditory need to do their penmanship book as directed. Be sure you do not confuse learning styles with poor character—or poor parenting! Focus on interests/strengths/bents In addition to learning styles, kids are motivated by their interests. I remember during my master’s degree we spent a good two weeks discussing the need for high interest books for remediation in reading. The theory was (and I have seen this borne out in my own kids) that if the material is interesting to a student, he can read at higher levels. Thus, the second graders who are reading CS Lewis! It is true in all areas of life that when we are presented with something that interests us, we work harder, listen better, etc. to understand the information. We can use this to our advantage as homeschoolers too. We have purposely watched our children’s “loves.” What is it that they just adore. For Joshua, academically speaking, it was history, geography, and literature. For Kayla, it was anything academic—but especially Bible. Cami adored music, photography, cosmetology, and people! We took each of their interests and basically shaped a high school program for each one around them. Yes, they completed their “Core 40”— Out of these tailor-made high school programs, each student discovered a lot about themselves. While Joshua loved the capitol environment, it was too time consuming and at times disappointing to him—he discovered a love for teaching (which goes along with his history, literature, etc.) by teaching speech and debate classes with us. Kayla was able to study the lives of great missionaries all through high school as she wrote the curriculum—building even more of a desire for missions within her, ultimately helping her to choose nursing over physician, due to the length of time it would be before she would be ready to get on the mission field. Cami is still in process—but has learned from her month-long cosmetology experience that her skin problems (allergies, eczema, etc.) will prohibit her from becoming a beautician. All of this—from our kids’ loves and interests! Delight directed studies Our first born, Joshua, did not like math. I made so many mistakes in so many areas with that poor kid that it is amazing he loves to learn the way he does today! (I didn’t have other homeschoolers’ mistakes to learn from yet—consider yourself blessed to learn from “older” homeschoolers’ trials and errors!) Anyway, I had a workbook series without the teacher’s materials (thought they were only needed for the classroom) in early elementary—and I was not strong in math, so I didn’t do the material justice. Then in his middle grade I used a math program that simply took too long each day to complete. All of this added up to a math phobia, and dare I say math disdain, for Joshua. It didn’t take long for Ray to remedy this situation, however. You see, while Joshua didn’t love math—he did love sports—watching them, playing them, sorting sports cards into teams and creating “dream teams,” figuring stats, etc. And we had been to three Gregg Harris workshops by this time—where Mr. Harris had encouraged us to practice “delight directed studies.” Delight directed studies are lessons based on things our kids are delighted in. What delights your kids? For Joshua, it was obvious. Ray began working with Joshua on math in all types of sports scenarios at around age eight, and they continued these sports-math lessons practically until Joshua’s high school graduation. They began working with geometry on a baseball field on paper. They worked on statistics extensively with Joshua’s sports cards. And the lessons that stuck the most—stats in the driveway shooting free throws together. We have seen this over and over again—Kayla learning geometry through quilting; Kayla and Joshua learning sentence and paragraph structure through their love for writing fiction (and my editing!); measurements in the kitchen; and much more. Delight directed studies work. II. Give Children the Gift of Learning Teach children how to learn In addition to giving our children a love for learning, one of the best gifts we can give to them is the how to’s of learning. We have found dozens of ways to teach our kids to learn through the years. The first way is one talked about extensively in this article—discussion. We love to talk to our kids! We talk to them about how to organize information. We talk to them about how to make decisions. We tell them stories of our past—and what we have learned from it. All of these discussions aid in our children learning how to learn—because they usually revolve around thought processes, how we came to a certain conclusion, etc. Another thing we have done is take advantage of library programs—our kids have learned local history, CIA secrets (okay, not really secrets—but that was what the presentation was called—that got our kids’ attention!), internet use, card catalog use, and much more through the local library. We have attended these classes with them and learned ourselves. Another added benefit of taking kids to these is that they see that learning is a lifelong process—and that adults need to continue learning too. Teaching our children proper and extensive internet use is another way to teach them how to learn. We need to have filters on all of our computers to block out the bad—but the internet is a tool and of itself is an outstanding way to help kids learn to learn. I am amazed as an adult how much I can learn by researching online. Of course, internet research opens up other avenues of learning—discerning truth from fiction, appeals to emotion, interpreting statistics, and much more. Internet research combined with discussion is a doubly good way to learn to learn. We teach our children how to learn when we provide them with independent learning tools and books. I discovered early on that I was training my children to become too dependent on me for learning. Yes, I homeschool them. Yes, I love teaching them and being with them. But they will not learn to learn on their own if all of the curricula and all of my approaches center on my feeding them knowledge. I began providing my children with independent learning tools—talking books, radio dramas, independent math drills, self-checking games and activities like Geosafari and Mathsafari, and much more. I developed a daily list of meeting with Mom, working independently, and working with siblings—on school, chores, Bible, and more. Sometimes teaching our kids how to learn involves nothing more than goal setting. A discouraged student assigned a four hundred page biography doesn’t need somebody to read it to him or for him—he just needs coached in how to complete the task. Simply helping him see that if he were to divide that book in half (half this week and half next week), then he can have ten 20-page sessions a week and have it done! It is being more of a learning coach than a teacher as our kids get older. Organization is such a huge part of learning—and kids are not born with that (!). It is taught and it is caught. Stock up on learning. My friends’ husbands often tease them about staying away from me and my “catalogs.” (At least I think they are teasing!) They hide the checkbook when I’m coming for fear that I will talk their wives into buying the latest, greatest educational item I have found. I always say, “We get our clothes at Goodwill and our groceries at Aldi’s, but we get our books everywhere we find them---on sale or not!” We build a learning environment when we fill our home with good books and educational items---computers, good software, learning games, cassettes, videos, and more. It’s hard not to love learning when learning items are surrounding you! Nowadays, home school materials, in particular, and learning materials, in general, are everywhere! And the prices couldn’t be better. I have gotten complete sets of readers at garage sales, expensive creation science books at Goodwill, and educational videos at thrift stores. Ebay and other online used buying and selling sites abound with educational materials. Home school swaps are prevalent online, as well. If you see a learning item somewhere, you can more than likely get it used or on sale. Start out with general materials and Bible/character materials and branch out according to your students’ interests. Our initial “home school” purchases when our first born was a baby, twenty-one years ago, were the complete cassette series of Your Story Hour (of Uncle Dan and Aunt Sue venues), Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories, The Coriell’s Books of Character Building, and The Family Bible Library. Guess what? We still have all four of them---and we still use all four of them almost weekly! Our oldest child Joshua was nine months old when we began this adventure by home schooling my younger sister. At the time, I had no idea what his interests would be (except maybe the packaging and boxes the tapes and books came in!). Begin your home school library and supplies with items you have found others to enjoy and with items that anyone might enjoy. Of course, you can’t go wrong beginning with Bible-related and character-related materials. As your students grow up, you will see certain bents and interests developing. Capture these. Do not get so locked into learning the “essentials” that you do not take time out for their interests! Pursue the art books and classes for the one with artistic talent. Check out every book the library has on airplanes for your future aeronautic engineer. Read the classics aloud to your literary student. |
Posted in Homeschooling General
Creating a Love for Learning in Your
Part II of III January 2005 Donna Reish
I. Understand the Effect of Readiness on Love for Learning Start early and go for the long-haul When I say “start early,” I don’t mean start out with workbooks and assignments early! I mean start out with learning early; make learning a lifestyle from a young age. We decided that we were going to homeschool when our first child was a little over a year old. (And we actually began home schooling my eighth grade sister at that time.) Everything in our life became school—morning devotions, chore time, story time, evening devotions, listening to tapes while traveling, etc. Ministering at the nursing home, hosting Bible studies in our home, and preparing the church bulletin board all quickly became “school”—with a toddler in tow, learning as we went. I always got so upset when my children learned from others that school means book learning---and specifically workbooks—and as preschoolers and kindergarteners would say, “I want to do school.” My mantra through the years has been something like this: “Did you do your dishes this morning? Did you read the Bible with Daddy? Did you do story time with Mommy? Did you play a math game with sissy? Did you help brother make bread today? Then you just did school!” Starting early means beginning in their very first years to develop a love for learning in our children by providing learning activities that are worthwhile and enjoyable—giving them a good taste for learning. Do not put pressure on children to learn things not ready for Some of the best advice I ever received concerning educating my children came form Dr. Raymond Moore’s books, Better Late Than Early and School Can Wait. In these books, he detailed the way children learn—the stages of learning, the signs of readiness, and the importance of taking our cues for “formally educating” our children from the children themselves (not a magic age that the child turned or what our child’s little cousin is learning in school at that same age). The funny thing about his books is that they contained the same information I had just learned in college (and continued to learn about that same time in my master’s program). The research, statistics, and proof of the importance of readiness in learning were the same as those I had been studying. The major difference? Schools are usually unable to do anything about those variances in children’s readiness (aside from small groups, teacher’s aids, etc.). If little Johnny comes to first grade at the appropriate age of six, the school is unable to say, “Well, Johnny’s signs of readiness show that he might not be ready to learn to read until he is eight.” They simply must push him through the best they can. However, we do not have to! Every time Kayla (our late blooming, dyslexic, dysgraphic learner) has another success, I praise God for Dr. Moore. Kayla received perfect scores on the verbal ACT portion not once, but twice. She has co-written curriculum with me since she was fourteen years old. She attends college very successfully while still in high school. And much more. These things bring me even greater joy when I realize that Kayla would probably have not had the success she has had if she had gone to school. She did not learn to read until she was nine. She was unable to spell or write much at all until she was thirteen and began using the computer (and spell check). Her penmanship is still in process as a senior in high school. And yet, she has come out of all of this with great success—because we learned the importance of waiting for readiness and not pushing a child to do something that is out of her control to accomplish. So many times we parents get this completely backwards. We insist that a child learn to potty, read, spell, or pen words when he is simply not ready to do so, not fully realizing that these things are out of that child’s control. A child has no control over whether he is ready to potty train at two or at three. A child has no control over whether he is ready to learn to read at six or at nine. Yet we often insist on pushing in these areas. However, in areas in which a child truly can control himself, we might let slide by. Areas such as kindness, diligence, responsibility—these areas of character can be learned (at their appropriate levels) by children as young as three. These are areas of which a child truly can control. Our children will love learning much more if we wait on readiness to occur before teaching things that they are unable to learn without readiness. Without readiness, we have tears, frustration, and a disdain for learning. With readiness, we have joy, success, and a love for learning. II. Effect of Read aloud from the beginning. If you have not been a read-aloud home schooler, it is never too late to begin. If your students are older (junior high and high school), you might have to dangle a deeper colored orange carrot (along with some ranch dip) in front of them to get them to enjoy reading aloud together, but it won’t take long…and it will certainly be worth it! There are complete books available telling how to begin reading aloud, good books to choose at various ages and stages, and more (such as The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease or Honey for a Child’s Heart), so I won’t go into much detail here; however, if you have boys and/or older children, start with adventure---educational can come later! The first goal in reading aloud is to make your children love reading aloud. If they don’t love read aloud time, you will not do it regularly—and all of the great goals and objectives of reading aloud will never be seen anyway. Some people ruin “read aloud” by trying to make it too “schoolish.” I can remember when, fresh out of teacher’s college, every part of my little two year old’s story time became a possible “reading comprehension lesson.” (Of course, I have since learned that those are not true reading comprehension lessons but rather just “quizzing sessions”---which have their place to “assess” or “test” comprehension—but they definitely do not “teach” comprehension---unless they are followed by discussion.) Anyway, my little guy just wanted me to read the story already! He didn’t care if he knew the minor character’s name—nor if he knew the motivation (for a two year old!?) of the major character. Enjoy the process. Yes, discuss it (far better for building comprehension than simply quizzing your students). Yes, talk about why this happened or that happened, cause and effect, how the character felt, whether his responses were biblical, etc.---but not all the time—and certainly not after each paragraph! These things will usually come naturally if your children are enjoying their read aloud time. It will become just like a good movie---everyone discussing it around the dinner table, in the car, or at Grandma’s. If it’s just adventure you’re after (with a good dose of Christianity thrown in), you might start with Frank Peretti’s junior novels, Cooper Kids Adventure Series---an If the thought of sitting still while Mom reads aloud makes everyone feel a boredom attack (or in Dad, a sleeping attack) coming on, you might consider allowing your children to do something quiet while you read. Our older children often quilt, do handwork, or other non-thinking activities while I read. Our little guys usually do puzzles, build with Legoes, or sort Legoes. Many times, Dad will do something quietly with the little ones while we read, so their hands and minds are engaged in something. (Currently, this is a one thousand piece Civil War puzzle.) Build strong and enjoyable reading skills Recently Cami was typing an outline for a presentation I was giving about language arts. When she got to a certain point about building a love for reading—and the portions that described “rewarding”—and even bribing—your children to get them to love reading, she nearly had a fit. “Mom, your parenting standards are really getting low here….I mean, bribing your children to read!!!” Then I reminded her of how she went from reading picture books to chapter books. She smiled, nodded, and went back to her typing. There have been many turning points in our children’s reading processes here at the Reishes. One of these was Cami going from picture books to chapter books. She loved for me to read aloud to her—we literally read (aloud) every American Girl, Boxcar Children, Three Cousins’ Detective, Cul-De-Sac Kids, Sugar Creek Gang, Ellie (Amish series), Cooper Family, Josh Ladd, Baker Streets Sports Club, Kayla O’Brien, and Sadie Rose book ever printed---I mean hundreds of them. However, when it came time for her to move from picture books to chapter books, she was sure that she could not do it. I tried timing her, alternating reading with her, etc. etc. But she was sure that she could not get through an entire chapter book by herself. I knew the importance of building a love for reading in my kids—and I did what any desperate homeschooling mama would do—I paid her. I paid her $5 for the first chapter book she read herself—and $1 per book for the entire summer. She hunkered down with her little forty page chapter book (Three Cousins’ Detective book) and earned her five dollars. Before she knew it, she had read several chapter books—and absolutely loved it. It might seem extreme—and it is somewhat out of my character to pay my children to do something I want them to do—but reading was so important to me, that I often did so. (Note: I never paid for daily chores or good behavior. Those were “freebies”—expected, not just preferred.) Each time one of our kids learned to read, I enrolled him or her in a “book of the month” club. As he was learning to read, he received a book in the mail each month. When my kids took part in summer reading programs, they would receive the rewards from the library—and from home. I often doubled what the library gave, or offered them “extra credit” prizes (Chuck E Cheese’s, Build a Bear clothes, etc.) for doing above and beyond the library program. Whenever I felt that there was a critical point or important milestone to cross in a child’s reading development, I made sure that happened—even if it cost me a few bucks or several hours of “trading reading” (“for every hour you read, I’ll read aloud an extra hour to you”). Of course, many of the tips throughout this article aid in building a love for reading—especially reading aloud. Reading aloud, paying the kids, trips to bookstores, and even McDonald’s (!)—all show our children that reading is important and fun. That it can provide them with hours and hours of fun, entertainment, and learning--while we know that it also opens the door to a life of learning and education. III. Prioritize Learning Make time for the important things. Sometimes the difference between read aloud success and failure is timing. The same is true of many home learning adventures. We learned fifteen years ago from Gregg Harris at one of his workshops that the way to be sure something is done in your school is to attach it to something you always do. Of course, his main suggestion here was attaching things to mealtimes, since seldom do we miss that event! Anyway, attach your family read aloud time---or any important learning or devotional activity---- to something already in your schedule all of the time: rising time, breakfast, lunch, dinner, or bedtime are all good choices. We began following Mr. Harris’ rule of thumb when our first couple of children were little, and soon had attached everything important to something in their schedule, then had attachments to our attachments until each day was one big, well, attachment. It was a great rule of thumb for us as new parents, and it provided a stable, scheduled environment for our preschoolers, toddlers, and babies. They always knew what to expect. For added incentive, you might follow our family’s more-often-than-not rule: If an activity is important to us (devotions, memory work, discipleship meetings with children, read aloud time, etc.), we should do that activity more often than we do not. If our occurrences of an event do not exceed our skipped times of an event, then it isn’t very important to us (if we plan to do something four times a week but only do it once).It’s not a real priority in our lives. It either needs moved up in our priority list or dropped—and we need to be honest with ourselves that it really isn’t a priority. This guideline has become especially important to us as our children have gotten older, and they are away from home more and more for college classes, music lessons, and other special classes (foreign languages, debate, etc.). It is so easy during these years to just give up “family learning together” time---simply because it seems impossible with everyone’s busy schedules. “More often than not” has given us the security that we are, indeed, doing what is important to us, but yet it is not legalistic or burdensome. (I might note here that many things that are important to us are now done in a moving vehicle going to and from church, potlucks, debate and speech tournaments, conventions, visiting relatives, etc.!) Evaluate often A big part of creating a love for learning is evaluating what works and what doesn’t work for your family. For years and year, I wanted to do everything just like other successful families I saw. While I believe that copying after someone else is the highest form of admiration, and I believe that we can learn a lot by emulating others, we cannot get stuck in the rut of doing what others do regardless of whether it works for our particular family or not. Specifically, I remember putting a lot of pressure on my husband to get up earlier and do more school with the children, especially Bible studies and character studies, since that is what I saw other families doing. Never mind the fact that he was nearly always up late one-on-one with our older children, discipling and mentoring them. Never mind the fact that he worked sixty hours a week at his job. He wasn’t doing things the way I wanted him to do them and the way I saw others doing them. I have since learned that yes, I can gain much from observing and modeling after others who are successful in various areas of parenting and home schooling, but if it doesn’t work for our family (due to time constraints, job restrictions, ages of children, interests of children, etc.), then it just isn’t for us. I don’t have to make my husband fit into a mold of what I see someone else’s husband doing. I don’t have to schedule my school day just like another mom does. And my children do not have to be just like other children. Thus, we need to evaluate often. Is what we are doing here really working? Is this causing our children to learn---and love to learn? Could something else work better? Am I trying to make my school like someone else’s—even if it is not the best for us? Of course, part of that evaluation may be observing another family, asking questions, and trying something new that you think will work. However, if it doesn’t work, be willing to re-evaluate and try something else. Skip the good to do the best With that evaluation process comes what to do once you have evaluated something: skipping the good to do the best. Twenty-one years ago when I began home schooling my sister, home schooling was in its infancy in Yet there were many positive aspects of those early days of home schooling---deep camaraderie among the few brave home schoolers who existed, long days at home (without dozens of activities screaming at me to participate!), a more laid back approach (since there was no “parental peer pressure” to be or do more and more), etc. Even having a small number of choices wasn’t always bad. Now, nearly daily, we home schoolers (especially in such a home school-friendly state as Today, more than ever, it is vital that we evaluate our school, extra curricular, sports, church, youth, and music activities. We could easily spend every day running only a couple of children to activities, much less the six I have in school this year! We can (and I have) easily “school” until five or six each evening, trying to fit in all the wonderful materials available. I realize this evaluation process is highly personal; however, we have found some methodology to our evaluation process that others (especially large families) may benefit from as well. One of our first benchmarks for evaluation is, of course, our relationship with the Lord. Does this activity/curriculum enhance our relationship with the Lord? Obviously, there are many things that must be learned that do not have much spiritual content---math, foreign languages, etc. If those things do not interfere with our walks with the Lord by consuming too much time away from Him or our family and they fall under another criterion we have developed (such as preparing for the future), then, of course, we include those things. Secondly, does it benefit a large number of our family? I realize those with less children may not need to ask this question, but for us, when we had six children twelve and under, each child got to be in one thing (basketball and piano, at that time), and other than that, we did things the whole family could do—such as family roller skating, field trips, hospitality with whole families, etc. It was a wonderful time for our family that I look back on with fond memories. Now, with older children, we are somewhat divided in this area. We still try to do things altogether whenever possible, but we prefer to do many things that at least our three teenage daughters can do together (they love learning together!) or that our three young sons can be in together. Thirdly, does it build or tear down family unity? This goes somewhat with the second benchmark and may not have a lot to do with a love of learning (although I could probably easily find many connections if I pondered it long enough), but it has always been an important benchmark for us. Too many outside influences, too much peer interaction (especially too early), and too much busy-ness away from the family seems to pull our children away from us and their siblings. We also watch out for these things. Next, does it prepare our children for a future we think God is leading them into? A few years ago, I jumped on the musical bandwagon. Our daughters all played piano, and each of them took at least one more instrument. Now, don’t get me wrong. Music playing is great, but it is definitely not for everyone. I saw successful families around me all playing instruments together, and I thought we had to do the same thing. We spent a lot of time and a lot of money pursuing something that the girls really weren’t interested in (violin, viola, and flute). This activity did not prepare them for their futures; it didn’t give them an area of education they really needed (since it wasn’t in their skill areas); and it didn’t increase family unity. Our daughters are writers, speakers, and two pianists. We now put our time and effort into those areas as we feel that those things help prepare them for the futures God has for them. (For others, it will not be writing or speaking, but it might be violin, viola, or flute.) Lastly, is it something our students are interested in? I know for us, our children’s love of learning has always increased when we studied things they were interested in learning. (See next month for more on this!) Every family’s priorities and circumstances will be different---and each family’s “good” and “best” will be different, but we all need to be in the evaluation process at all times. Here at the Reish home, we often find ourselves immersed in “good” things instead of the “best” things. Our evaluation benchmarks help us narrow down our curricula, activities, family life, and more to be focused on the “best”! IV. Make Learning Fun—When Possible Use non-book teaching tools whenever possible One thing that I do for my kids to help them love to learn is keep us well-stocked (often from the library) on non-book items. I have our children listen to presidents’ speeches while they clean, science tapes while they peel potatoes, fiction books on tape (especially historical fiction like Amos Fortune, Free Man or Across Five Aprils) while they are doing “handy” school like sewing, crafting, etc. (Alright, your son might not like sewing or crafting. My little guys welcome a few hours to sort Legos for their next project or color in their educational coloring books while listening to talking books.) If you do not have access to a big library, you might want to go to another library's website to look up non-book items, and order them from your local library through inter-library loan. That is a free service at our library. Also, the local home school group here is big enough to have a good library of materials to check out. When my three oldest children were little, they were read to by me or Ray three to five hours everyday, five days a week or more. Ray read the Bible and character-related materials to them in the mornings and after dinner. He read again to at least one of them before bed. Usually throughout the short evening he had at home with them, he ended up reading something else to them. In between, I read to them every chance I got. (At that time, Ray worked twelve hour days five days a week and most of Saturday. I had too many little kids to go anywhere (and no help anyway), so I did what I loved the most during all the time I had: school the children!). We had special names for all of our special reading times that my older children still remember fondly---morning Bible, content study reading, chapter book read aloud, afternoon Bible, Bible story time, story time, big kids’ reading time, matching-sweat-suit-read-aloud-time, (no kidding! I know it’s corny, but it makes me smile!) and more. Nowadays, life isn’t quite so simple around the Reish home. Some days I am blessed if I get to read for thirty minutes to my little guys; and Ray usually only gets to read once a day with them. I use non-book teaching tools to take the place of Mom and Dad. (I know, instead of electronic babysitters, I am using electronic home school teachers—but it works for me at this stage in my life, which is what all of us home school mothers need to learn to do—what works for each one of us.) On any given day, my three little guys, ages twelve, nine, and six, (not all of these for one little guy!) may be assigned the following: 1) Do math drill on Mathsafari; 2) Do geography on Geosafari; 3) Do reading comprehension fun activities on Geosafari; 4) Listen to George Sarris dramatize/read the Bible on cassette; 5) Watch a Magic School Bus science video; 6) Do Saxon Math DIVE cd; 7) Do Math U See video; 8) Watch a Reading Rainbow program from the library over a book we are reading; 9) Listen to a Diana Waring cassette about something historical we are studying in history; 10) Listen to a cassette of a famous composer from the period of time we are studying while coloring a coloring page that goes with the cassette; 11) Watch a Ken Ham creation science video that goes with our Bible study; 12) Do story book and tape sets from the library (while Mom works with older sister on her research paper and skips out on story time!); 13) Listen to a Sugar Creek Gang chapter book tape (while Mom helps older brother with his speeches for the upcoming tournament and skips out on afternoon read aloud time---there’s only so much time in a day!); and more. The point to this lengthy discourse is to show that non-book teaching items can be valuable additions to your home school---and even substitute for Mom to ensure that learning takes place when Mom can’t be the “teacher”! Not to mention, they truly help my children have a love for learning---and utilize different learning styles. Make home school memories One of our favorite pastimes for the two weeks prior to my son’s wedding last summer was for the older four children (Joshua, the soon-to-be groom at that time, and our three teenage daughters) to gather in our bedroom until the wee hours of the night and talk about memories. One of them would get started on something….the most fun vacation, the best field trip, the day one of the little boys was born, when I used to threaten to send them to school (!), when we moved to near Do you remember the old saying “"Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I may remember. Involve me and I'll understand"? I think building home school memories falls under the last part of that quote. Children understand (and remember!) what they do---whether it is digging for earthworms in the “bug room” at the zoo, getting the maple sugar from the maple tree at the sugar bush, taking their fingerprints at the science museum, or guarding the fort from invaders at the old fort. Building home school memories builds a love for learning. It has been my experience through my twenty plus years of “field tripping,” that the more unusual the field trip or event (or activities at the field trip), the more my children remember it—and the more home school memories are made. It is not normal for Mom to get up in the morning and announce to the children that school today will only consist of eating finger foods and reading together on the sofa all day. It is unusual for Mom to tell the children they have to go to bed early tonight because tomorrow we spend the school day at the state park. It is rare for a child to get to have a “day away” with Mom to do whatever he wants. It is unusual to be able to tap a sugar maple tree, fill a bucket with maple syrup sugar, carry it to the sugar house, and watch maple syrup being made (and eat it on pancakes that you cook over a fire). It is unique to go on a field trip where you are in a slave’s role for the day. (I know, why do the things kids like the most have to require so much of parents?) Even harder to accept for me and Ray as home school parents who have hit the forty-mark is the fact that our oldest children’s three favorite field trips hands-down involve major discomfort for those of us who are…well, seasoned home schoolers: sleeping at the top of the jungle gym at Science Central; sleeping on the straw cots at the old fort; and sleeping in the snake room at the zoo. (Did I say “sleeping”? Well, “staying overnight” in those locations might more accurately describe what we did there.) Yes, we paid the price of a night in a comfortable Holiday Inn to sleep in uncomfortable, and I mean, very uncomfortable, quarters at the museum, the fort, and the zoo. But we paid for much, much more than a room and a “continental” breakfast. We paid for home school memories that will last a lifetime. Home school memories that make me cry as I type this. Home school memories that cause my older children to tell my younger children, “You’ve got to have Mom and Dad take you there! It was the BEST!” **Watch this spot next month for the final installment of “Creating a Love for Learning in Your Homeschool.” |
Posted in Homeschooling General
Creating a Love for Learning in Your
Part I of III January 2005 Donna Reish
I recently had a “kick-off the school year lunch” with my mini-support group, unit study co-op group, field trip group, and accountability group---all the same five fellow homeschooling moms. One creative and affirming mother had the idea that since we are starting a new school year, we should go around the table and encourage one another in our home schooling strengths. After we bawled our way through lunch and dessert and the Kleenexes were all discarded, there was a common encouraging thread towards me: They felt that I had encouraged them and modeled for them how to create a love for learning in my children and in me. After our emotional lunch (and a quick stop at the scrapbooking store—we recovered from our emotional outburst enough to shop!), I contemplated how I influenced these moms in that way. I considered some of the comments they made. And then I asked myself, How can I spread a love for learning to home schoolers everywhere? In this article, I would like to share over a dozen key strategies that Ray and I have discovered to help our children love to learn—strategies that have caused our children to get out their school books on a Saturday night simply because they want to, strategies that make learning in our family a joy instead of a drudgery, and strategies that have helped us build fond (and exciting!) home school memories. I. Make Learning a Big Part of Your Family Model a love for learning Your children want to be just like you! They might not say it. They might say just the opposite at times, but the fact is, they want to be just like Mom and Dad. Thus, the beginning of teaching our children any skill is to model that skill for them. I remember in teacher’s college when the buzzword (or acronym, actually) was SSR---Sustained Silent Reading. The goal of SSR was to set aside ten or fifteen minutes each school day to have every student reading. The superior teachers were the ones who didn’t grade papers or file their nails during SSR; they read too. The idea was that if the teacher were modeling reading for her students, they would follow her example. The same is true for home schooling parents with modeling a love for learning. Do you force-feed your students what they need to learn but remain stagnant in your learning? Do you act as though you already “know it all,” so there is nothing else for you to learn? Do you seek out information about topics you are interested in learning more about? We recently took a family vacation to Disney World. I carried (well, whoever carried the backpack actually carried) an eight hundred page volume entitled, The Unofficial Guide to Disney World. I pulled it out as we traveled to each park, reading aloud about the best viewing spots for the afternoon parade, the worst hamburgers in the place, and the longest time one has to wait during mid-morning to ride “ Learn with your children Throughout the years, we have made purposeful attempts to learn with our children—especially if the topic was important to the child. There is nothing that builds relationship more than to have someone truly interested in what you are interested in. Now, this hasn’t always been easy (or fun). Many years ago, I took sewing lessons with the girls for a couple of years. It was like having my finger nails pulled out with pliers. Pure torture. However, sewing was important to Kayla—and she went on (along with Cami—definitely not with me!) to quilt quite a bit, make “dress up” garments for her brothers every year, and hand make other quilted gifts. When Cami first started attending deaf church this year, Ray enrolled in sign language with her, so they could share it together—and so Ray could at least greet Cami’s friends from deaf church. We have taken many community type classes with the children—internet use, town history, county history, etc. Obviously, we haven’t learned everything our children have learned, but these opportunities have given us avenues for spending time with the kids—and showing them that we value what they value. We are always encouraged by the parents who come to speech and debate classes with their kids on occasion. Sometimes a parent will come the entire semester and learn right along with their kids. Not long ago, a mother and father came up to us and told us how much they had learned through our speech and debate class. We were surprised as we had not seen these parents in class. They proceeded to tell us that they went over their daughter’s notes and worked on her speeches and debate preparation with her—and learned as much as she had! This input and level of interest had to be an incredible encouragement to a girl who was fearful of taking speech and debate class. Integrate school with chores, service, ministry, and more In other words, do not make “school” a separate entity from your life. “School,” as we know it, is a man-made institution. The New Testament says that children are to be under tutors and managers until the time appointed by their father. Many schools began as a result of a perceived need to teach children the Bible. Certainly no body (governmental or otherwise) was intended to raise our children for us! The “rules” and “guidelines” that we devise for our home schools are often the result of what we see in “real schools.” Of course, many of these are based on solid research and experience of how children learn, etc. But more often than not, the “school ways” are devised in order to provide “mass education.” We should only copy what are truly superior ways to learn. How many children do you know who go to school (public or private) and truly love school or love learning? We don’t want that to happen in our home schools! The Old Testament is filled with admonition after admonition to teach our children all the time. It tells us to teach our children when we get up, when we walk, when we sit, and when we lie down. That certainly doesn’t mean to “have school” day and night! I believe that learning takes place all of the time---life skills from chores; social skills and much more from service; Bible, character, and godliness from ministry---and of course, academics from bookwork. When everything we do is looked at as “learning” and “valuable,” it doesn’t matter if a student is completing a math page, helping an elderly neighbor, or reading to little sister. It is all learning; it is all valuable; it is all needed. I realized that I had done too good of a job incorporating school in our lives and our lives into school when ten years ago, my oldest daughter (Kayla, now eighteen and faster than lightening at household and kitchen tasks!) was a dawdler. At five o’clock one evening, she was still sitting at her little table doing a math page when I suggested that if she would work faster on everything, she wouldn’t still be sitting there doing her math book so late in the day. She smiled her cheeriest smile at me, shrugged her shoulders with arms out, and exclaimed: “I like school. I like chores. And I like to play. It doesn’t matter how fast I go or when I’m done because I love it all!” I cringe when I hear of academic students who are too busy “doing school” to minister or provide services to others or selfish young people who are too consumed with their own interests to reach out to those in need. A well-rounded student is one who balances his time among “academic” pursuits, ministry and service opportunities, hobbies, family activities, spiritual growth opportunities, and fun. Any imbalance in these areas—even in “over-academics”-- makes a student lacking in something—and certainly not a model of a student who loves to learn and loves home schooling. When we train our sons and daughters to put making a meal for a new mother right up there in their “to do list” with their English, we are integrating school with life and life with school. School all the time One of the downfalls of "traditional homeschooling" is the idea that we have a school in our home. In that regard, we would learn only in the same way the schools do (mass education, workbooks, etc.) and during the same hours that schools do. The best thing we can do for our children in this area is to create a love for learning and not confine learning to "school." I can still remember when my first born was eight years old and discovered that other children did not do school on Saturdays. To him, every day was a learning day; why would you skip learning on Saturdays? Even worse though, was when my children found out that other home schoolers do not have to do school in the summer. They thought everyone did everything just like we do, so when they discovered that, they started begging for more “free time”! I overcame the summer dilemma by making summer school our “fun” school---letting them choose the things they wanted to study in the summer and modifying our schedule so that there wasn’t as much bookwork in the summer, but learning still took place. We called these “summer school goals,” and my older children still remember these “put a sticker in the blank for each chapter you read” or “put a sticker in the blank for each 15 minutes of math drill” charts with fondness. My little kids now actually beg to “do summer school goals” like the older kids did. By “not confining learning only to school,” I do not mean that everyone has to school on Saturdays and all summer long. Nor do I mean that you have to “have school” beyond Basically, try to make your lifestyle such a spiritually and academically-enriched lifestyle that you avoid non-learning times as much as possible. Of course, you’ll always just go to Grandma’s for dinner, watch a movie on a Friday night, or clean out the garage on a Saturday afternoon, but make life your school and school your life. This truly causes a love for learning as children are always learning and growing—and school becomes a way of life rather than a time of day. Make learning a family affair Prior to my friends encouraging me in my accomplishments of developing a love for learning in my children, I had never given “teaching my children to love learning” much thought. I love to learn. My husband loves to learn. Learning is such a major part of our lives; I never considered it something that we should “do” or teach our children “to do.” Loving learning is what we do twenty-four/seven. We have an ongoing library list like many families have grocery lists. Dinner conversation often goes like this: “When the next person goes to the library, I need a book about photography. All of my pictures from the park today have shadows.” “Oh, if you’re going, pick the boys up some more Magic School Bus videos.” “While you’re there, could you get me the latest issue of Today’s Christian Woman. I noticed it has Joni on the front of it.” “Add my two items to your list: How to Write Query Letters and Reading Difficulties Handbook.” “Oh, I need that book on creating believable characters in novel writing again.” “I need that book by the president’s speechwriter again for our debate class. You know which one…the one that I paid twice its worth in fines last fall.” And on and on. The next library patron in our family rarely gets to eat dinner. He or she is too busy making out “the library list.” Everyone in our family—from the six-year-old kindergartener to the forty-something-year-old father is constantly learning---and often all learning together. With everyone’s busy schedules and various activities (not to mention age gaps of the children), learning together can be quite the challenge, but it is a challenge that is worth pursuing. We have found that what we learn together as a family stays with the children longer than almost any other learning. I think it is because of the process of this learning together. When you learn something alone, you might read it or hear it, and that might be it. Maybe you will encounter it again soon (a test) or maybe you will not encounter it until it comes up in a movie, book, or conversation some months down the road. When a family learns together, the topic is brought up again immediately---by someone (the larger the family, the more likely that it will be brought up sooner rather than later)—then discussed, dissected, evaluated, debated, and more over and over again. For example, right now a few of our children are studying Shakespeare together. Joshua (our married son) is their teacher. They “go” to his class once a week for ninety minutes, yet the class seems to continue day and night throughout the week. They come in from class discussing it; a movie or book reminds them of it, they are picking up library picture books of Shakespeare; and the whole family has to hear about the plot, the characters, etc.; my nine year old and six year old are even quoting from Shakespeare now---long quotes without missing any of the words! It is like this with anything that two or more of the children are studying together (except for math!). Learning is contagious. Discuss everything Another good way to develop a love for learning in children---and to increase their comprehension skills---is to discuss everything. When discussing reading, language arts, and comprehension with homeschooling moms, I often hear a mom say that her child can read everything, but he does not seem to comprehend what he is reading. Some students can word-call anything put in front of them (much like reading "There's a Wocket in My Pocket"!). In these cases, to say a student can "read anything" simply isn't true. Yes, he can "word call" anything, but if he does not comprehend the words he is calling, the material really isn't "at his reading level"---it is just at his "word call level." Once you have everyone all together (or at least part of your crew), talk. Talk about the importance of picking up after yourselves; how you can use dish soap and water in place of window cleaner when you run out; the number of hours different sized candles burn; how various camera angles make things look like they’re spinning or getting farther away; why you shouldn’t point a toy gun at mother; what the word “acknowledged” means; what to do in an emergency situation, such as a “hazardous waste” in someone’s eye (don’t forget a play demonstration by the twelve year old carting the kicking, screaming, dramatic six year old to the sink); why the Ethiopian eunuch came to Jerusalem; why child-centered parenting results in badly behaved children; who Mom’s favorite teacher was when she was little; what the fruits of the spirit are; how much Spanish someone needs to take in order to be ready to travel to a Spanish-speaking country for ministry; the difference between analogous colors, complimentary colors, and coordinating colors; why you have soup or stew every other night—and when can someone fix something good (i.e. pizza or French fries!); and more (all real conversations in our living room and dining room within the past couple of hours as I was working on this article with everyone eating, cleaning, studying, and talking around me). Again, what does that have to do with love for learning? When children come to a new learning opportunity (or adults do too for that matter), they bring what they already know (the vocabulary, the background of knowledge they have about that subject, any topics they might know about related to that topic, etc.) to the opportunity. The larger the background of experience a child has when he encounters any learning experience, the greater his chances for success in learning the new material. He has more “hooks” from his past learning to hang the new material onto. When the new learning opportunity takes place, the student will gain a little, a moderate, or a large amount of “learning” from it---based on his comprehension of the material. His comprehension of the material, of course, is related to many things---the level of the material presented (if he is unable to even decode the words, he will be unable to comprehend any of it), the student’s background of experience, and the method by which the material is presented (i.e. learning styles). Take my sewing example I mentioned earlier in this series. If today I were to enter an advanced sewing class in which the teacher began discussing how to smock a dress for a little girl—and I have virtually no learning hooks on which to hook that (can’t thread the sewing machine, can’t even turn on the machine, do not know cotton from polyester, etc—I’m telling you, I was a sewing failure!.), very little learning will take place. However, if I had had many sewing experiences (years of sewing classes, sewing at home, reading of sewing books and magazines, attendance at a sewing circle, etc.), I would be immersed in that subject. I would toss sewing terms around much like I do grammatical terms. I would have a large background of experience to bring to that advanced sewing class, I would be much more successful in the class, and more real learning would take place for me. (Well, theoretically speaking, that is!) Obviously, our children cannot have real experiences with everything they will ever learn—any more than we adults can. However, we can discuss things with them as they come up, explaining foreign concepts to them and giving them a large background of experience to bring to their learning opportunities. I have come to the conclusion that this is why my kids love having Kayla for a big sister (besides the fact that she is a great baker!). She increases their comprehension of everything. During her first day at These types of activities will increase our children’s comprehension, which will carry over to all their school subjects and all of life. Comprehension of information is the groundwork for all learning--oral, written, or auditory—and the more our children comprehend, the more they will love learning. Help them see homeschooling as superior When my older kids were very young, and I would get extremely stressed out with five kids nine and under, I would do the unthinkable—threaten to send them to school. When they were really driving me crazy, I would make a “tire rolling” sign and sing, “The wheels on the bus go ‘round and ‘round,” to indicate that if they didn’t straighten up, the big yellow bus was going to come and take them to school. Now, I have since matured quite a bit (!) and no longer threaten the kids with going to school. But I do know that if I had continued in that vein, they would definitely not have the love for learning that they now have. Threatening to quit homeschooling is not a way to build love for and confidence in homeschooling, either. Thankfully, I learned quickly that threatening is not a good way to parent children. I can remember about that same time thinking that I wanted my children to grow up loving homeschooling. I wanted them to see it as a superior way of life—as a means to the goals that God has given us. I wanted them to love our life—and be grateful and happy that their parents followed God in this calling. This is a life-long process that, I believe, has come about by doing many of the things suggested I this article. It has come about by constantly discussing the many benefits of homeschooling. It has come about by their parents openly thanking the Lord (and expressing our joy and gratefulness) for allowing us the opportunity to train our children at home. And it has come about simply because we communicated to our children early on (after the “wheels on the bus” episodes) that we were committed to this way of life—and we were not going to stop just because one of the kids was strong-willed and drove me crazy, or someone had difficulty learning to read, or life would be easier if they went to school. I have noticed a trend in home schoolers: the reason they home school often determines their children’s love for or lack of love for learning. Children from families who home school because they think it is a superior way of learning seem to love learning more than children from families who home school because the other option (public school or private school) is “bad.” Now don’t get me wrong. We home school for a myriad of reasons, but our children know we are in this because it is plain and simply the BEST---all the way around. They also know that we are in it for the long haul, as long as God permits us. Thus, there is no way out. There is nobody else that will pick up the slack in learning for us. There is nothing in the future that will save our children from our laxness. It is all up to us. We are responsible for our children’s education for all of their school years; and once they become a certain age (oh, say, eight years old or so), they are responsible for their learning, too. It is ours and it is theirs. |
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