Mar. 27, 2007 - Review of "Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World"
This set of dvds, a recorded seminar by Michael and Susan Bradwick, discusses how to parent children in a Biblical manner as opposed to the world's way.
I've heard several people express concerns about various parts of this seminar in the past, most notably the Bradwick's endorsement of scheduled feedings for newborns and their practise of *swatting* children from the age of 6 months onward.
But my curious nature made me want to view the dvds anyway. And when I discovered a friend had them, I borrowed them to satisfy my curiousity. :)
I've been watching them for several days now and began taking notes on them as well.
It is true the Bradwicks endorse scheduled feedings. Their theory is that God's world is ordered and scheduled feedings help to teach the child early on that life should be ordered. They also believe that this helps prevent drastic disruptions to family life. However, Mrs. Bradwick was very careful to suggest that each family find the schedule that worked for themselves rather than following her schedule and that a mother should learn to distinguish between hungry cries and cries of another nature. She also clearly said that if baby slept through a scheduled feeding, she did not wake the baby but instead fed him when he awoke. Then she arranged to feed him again in 2 hours to get baby back on the schedule.
I did not see a harsh approach to parenting in her comments. She was very careful to talk repeatedly about creating a relationship with her baby, keeping baby near you while you work or play, reading aloud from the beginning to the baby, as well as talking, hugging, and cuddling your baby.
In fairness, I must admit that while I have never been a proponet of strict scheduling, I have with each of my babies seemed to find a *routine* that worked for me at that point in my life and for baby. Most of mine never went 4 hours between feedings, but I could generally time their hungry cycle within 20 minutes or so. All of my children seemed to want to eat somewhere between 2.5 and 3 hours apart.
I do feed on demand from the very beginning in order to establish a good supply of milk and I continue to do so for the first several months, particularly as my babies go through growth spurts. But as a general rule, my babies and I find our own routine/schedule.
The other major concern most people have had with the Bradwicks has been their policy of beginning reproof and correction (swats/calm directive words and spankings) during the 6-9 month age. I was sure that I would disagree with the Bradwicks' policy before I viewed the dvds.
First Mrs. Bradwick describes their reasoning. She says that babies begin to manipulate and disobey very early on, even before most people believe them to be capable of such. She talks about watching a baby who is told to lay their head down. The baby knows what he is being asked to do because he or she will look around for you as he begins to disobey and will immediately do as asked if he or she sees you watching.
Mrs Bradwick gives a concrete example of how she would teach, train, reprove, and correct a young baby. This involves going through the normal routine, always telling baby what you expect, using calm quiet voices. Next you allow baby to begin to think of disobeying while you are out of sight, but very close by. At the first sign of the thought of disobedience rising up in baby's mind, you step forward saying "no, no, you can't get up. mama wants you to lay your head down and go to sleep," while patting baby's back soothingly as you normally would. She advises this procedure to continue 4-5 times in order to reassure yourself that baby understands what you want.
Next, you step to the side again where baby can not see you. This time you allow baby to disobey completely. Again, you tell baby "no, no. You must lay down and go to sleep. You must obey mama." At the same time you should pop baby's thigh firmly. This procedure should be enacted at least 4-5 times to reassure yourself that baby understands what is being asked of him.
At this point, when baby disobeys, you pick baby up and lay baby across your lap and take off their diaper and give them a couple of firm little spanks. Then you rediaper baby, hug and love on baby, and again put them down telling them to obey mama, lay their head down and go to sleep.
This should continue until baby obeys. Mrs. Bradwick relates that with most of her children this has had to be done 2-3 times before baby realizes he must obey and does as asked.
I have never worked this whole procedure as suggested by Mrs. Bradwick. But once I heard her description of what she practised with her babies, I realized that I *have* begun training my babies nearer 9 months of age as they begin fighting diaper changes. I use different methods than Mrs. Bradwick does, but I *do* begin training early.
All in all I found this dvd seminar to be quite educational. I found that in general the Bradwicks and I hold quite similar viewpoints on the topic of Biblical parenting. And I learned many new things as I listened to their teachings.
Comments
Apr. 8, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Janne
Wishing you a very happy Easter!
