Tomorrow I will be 32 weeks. Wow! As I get closer to the end, this pregnancy seems to be moving faster. We are still working on remodeling our bedroom. As of right now, our bedroom is drywalled and painted. We still need to paint and put up trim and do the floor. The closet is painted and ready for all the "fixtures" to be installed. We are ordering the "fixtures" and just finalized that order tonight. It will probably be 2-3 weeks until they come in. The bathroom is drywalled and the tub is in. The walls still need texture and paint, the floor needs tile, and the sinks, lights, and toilet all need to be installed. It still seems like a lot to do, but we've also made a lot of progress. Hubby thinks we can be done by the end of February. I hope so!
The pregnancy has been going really well. This has been my easiest pregnancy so far, which is great, since I have 3 kids to keep up with :)
We got a letter yesterday. It was notifying us of a court date for Angela and Mariposa and their sisters that is coming up. Apparently, someone still lists us as their foster parents. We did have a problem with getting all their mail for several months, but we have not gotten anything in a long time, so I was shocked to get this notice. I was also shocked to find out they are still in foster care. It will be *3* years in May since they entered foster care. Wow! We are not allowed to know what is going on with them once foster kids leave our home, but since it had been so long, I assumed they had either been adopted or returned to their mom a long time ago. I did make a few inquiries about their case. I know they can't tell me about their situation, but I left their casa worker a message that if what they needed was an adoptive home, we were interested. I also contacted our private agency, and she sent an email saying the same thing to their CPS caseworker. I'll probably never hear anything more about them, but if I do get an email or phone call, I will let you know.
Well, guess what? Wednesday night we get a call - the baby was placed with a relative on Tuesday. We were never told that the relative was even in the picture, much less that they were trying to place him with her. I am so glad he is with family - that's great for him. I am pretty upset and discouraged that they made us jump through all those hoops when they knew they were pursing another placement, though. The CPS worker not only never told anyone she was pursing placement with the family member, even after they went to court on Tuesday and placed him with the family member, she never called. Our agency found out on Wednesday only by calling her supervisor.
So, right now we are waiting for another phone call, though, honestly, after all the disappointment we've had, I'm not sure how I am going to react to another phone call.
It looks like we will eventually get the baby. I'm still not holding my breath. We've been all back and forth with this. The placement was originally last Tuesday. Then, it was Thursday. Then, it was changed to Monday. Now, they are saying maybe Thursday. The baby has some medical issues. They are not much (at least, if they are, they have not told us about anything very serious), but the hospital wants to keep him to watch him. Oh, and on Friday, I drove to the hospital where he is to be trained in how to give his medicine. I'm sure it was just a formality- something they have to check off before he can be discharged, because the medicine is so simple. Just a simple liquid syringe that I put in his mouth. Like I have not done that countless times with all the other kids. :)
It looks like he will not be having family visits. We've been told he will need to have 1 follow-up medical visit in the city.
I'll blog again on Thursday when we hear what the latest is with the baby.
Mary the Mom tagged me with Happy 101. I am supposed to list 10 things that make me happy. Here they are, in no particular order.)
1. Reading books to my kids
2. Cuddling a baby
3. Cuddling my kids
4. Finding a bargain on something we need
5. Spending time with DH
6. Reading a good book
7. Reading birth stories
8. Talking to a friend
9. Seeing a pregnant mom
10. Being in nature
Yesterday we got another call for a different newborn. We said yes. They wanted to do the placement today, so we got ready. And waited, and waited, and waited....Finally, about 7pm, we finally found out that the hospital is still running tests on the baby and he won't be released until at least Thursday. That's not a problem (although some communication would have been nice :( ) But, now the story about this baby is changing, too. He's in a city 1.5 hours from us. Originally, due to his circumstances, he would have no family visits. Now, they are talking about possible visits - we were not told with who. For young babies, the visits are weekly. I am not willing (or able with 3 other kids' needs to think about) to drive 1.5 to 3 or more hours (depending on where in the city and traffic) each way each week. And, we were told yesterday that the baby had a medical condition, but it was not serious. Some medication and some monitoring of his blood was all that was needed. Now, they are saying his medical needs will need to be taken care of in this other city. They do not want him to see a doctor near us. This was not explained. I am not sure if they found something more serious in the tests they have been doing, or if they are just not willing to transfer his care.
So, we told them we are willing to take the baby, but there are a coupe considerations. We cannot transport for visits, so if they decide to establish visits, they will have to do transportation. (CPS can do this, but does not like to.) It's not that we do not want him to see his family (in fact it would be great for him if he has family that wants to and is able to be in his life), it is a matter of meeting the needs of our family as well. And, the reason they asked us to begin with is they could not find a family that was in their region that was willing to take him. The other thing we said was that we were willing to take him to the city for medical visits up to twice a month.
We'll see what happens, but I am thinking that this baby will not end up in our home. I pray he ends up in the best place possible.
We finally got a call on Christmas day! We were so excited - it was a newborn, from the hospital. We were out of state at hubby's parents, but they were sure the hospital would wait a couple days, and what CPS worker wants to have to work on Christmas anyhow? Well, today we left the in-laws's early and rushed home to get ready. And then, once we get home, we find out they placed the baby somewhere else already and did not tell us. (This is the second time since we have been waiting that they have found another home after calling us.) Obviously, it was not God's plan for this little one to be in our home, but I am so disappointed and upset right now. I really tried to not get excited, but you know how mommies are...
We're still here. No foster kids. We did get a call for newborn twins about a month ago, but they had already found a home when we called for more information.
We did find out a few reasons we are having a longer wait for a foster child. First, where we live now has a lower population than the large metropolitan area we used to live in. Also, the number of foster children cycles, and we are in a downswing. When we first became licensed, they were in an upswing, and did not have enough foster homes for the foster children. Then, we also found out that the area where we live now, the majority of foster homes work directly with CPS. We use a private agency that contracts with CPS. CPS has a policy that they call their foster homes first, and only if they cannot find a place there will they call the agencies for a placement. That frustrates me. Rather than look for the best place for the child, they play favoritism. We have considered changing to being a direct CPS home, but there are 2 big disadvantages to that: 1. We would lose the support and advocacy (for us and for the foster children) that we have with the private agency. It really is a better situation for the children and foster parents. 2. We would not be able to take special needs children. CPS homes can only take basic children, not any that have any special needs. I used to work with special needs children, and I would love to again. Our home is currently open to special needs children, but since they are such a small portion of the population, of course there are not many calls for them.
Our only option right now is to keep waiting and praying. God knows who and when he wants someone in our home.
Logan's birthday party went well. They were predicting rain, so we did not do the water guns and balloons. He had a car's theme to his party, so we got some little ceramic cars and he kids got to paint them. It seemed to go over really well. Logan had a great time.
The Ugh! is that it is been 2 months with no new foster kids. At the end of August, I checked with our caseworker, and everything was fine, there just had not been any calls for the age we are open for. I called again today. I did not want to be a pain, but I wanted to make sure that there was nothing on our side holding up a placement. Our caseworker checked, and our family was listed as "on hold." - that means they were not calling us! He is supposed to get that changed ASAP. I hope we do get a call soon. Not that I want kids to get removed from their homes, but I want to be able to provide a good home to a child that needs it.
Logan will be turning 4 soon. We're having his party this weekend. It's not on his actual birthday, but the weekend is better, of course. It's supposed to be nice this weekend, so we are thinking about having it outside and letting the kids have a water gun and water balloon fight. I think that would be fun.
Our house needed some work when we bought it. That's why we were able to afford it. So far we have remodeled one room. But, it was a room we were not using at the time anyway, so it was not a big deal. Now, we have begun the process of remodeling the master bedroom, master bath, and closet. Part of the project involves moving the wall between the dining room and our bedroom. The dining room is painfully narrow and we can't even pull the table away from the wall, which obviously limits seating capacity. So, we are moving the wall a few feet so the dining room is more usable for us. So, right now, the dining room, the master bedroom, master bathroom and the closet are all off-limits to kids because of the construction. The kids are eating at the little kid table in the kitchen, and hubby and I eat wherever we can. Also, this affects the foster children we can take. With the pregnancy, I am not supposed to lift over 20 pounds. I don't want to risk getting another baby like Junior - he was almost 30 pounds! And, because we have less bedrooms available, the only place a foster child can go is to share a room with Star. So, we are limiting who we can take for foster children to 1 girl, age 18 months to 3 years. It is a possibility that it could take longer to get a foster child since we are being very specific, but that is all we are able to handle right now with our circumstances.
Junior went to a relative yesterday. CPS told me from the start that his plan was to go to a family member, as soon as they got the homestudy done. Homestudies typically take 30 days. He was here 3 months. Yeah, a few people dropped the ball along the way. We are sad to see him go. He was such a happy baby, and he made a lot of progress while he was here. When he came at 8 months, he could roll around on the floor and sit if you propped him up. When he left at 11 months, he could crawl, babble, make actions for a reaction, pull up to his knees, and get himself into and out of a stable sitting position.
"Stability, stability, stability. They don't have it on the inside so they crave it on the outside."
Quote from Katie Bettendorf on blog post October 30, 2007 Read the Bettendorf's blog here. (Note: I don't agree with all their opinions, but she does give food for thought. )
This made me think of Logan. He seems to need more reassurance and more advance notice of any change or deviation from routine.
We're still here - just busy :)
Junior is still with us. He's a very happy baby. He has the cutest giggle. He's doing well. He's got some delays, so he will be starting Early Childhood Intervention soon.
We're not sure how long he will be here. He has some family who is interested in taking care of him, and they are working through the homestudy process. If they are approved, he will leave pretty soon probably. If they are not approved, I think Junior will be here for a while so his parents can work out what they need to. I hope to know something either way soon, maybe by the end of the month?
The other kids are doing well, too. Star is talking so much more now. DH said tonight it was a mixed blessing. We love to hear her expressing herself, but it means she's growing up. :(
We got an 8 month old boy on Monday, 5/4. He's doing well with us. He's generally a happy baby. He has the cutest smiles and giggles. He sleeps through the night, which is a blessing to us The goal is reunification with his parents, so we don't know how long we will have him. It might be a couple months; it might be more than a year.
Sorry it took me so long to update - when a child first comes it is really crazy with all the paperwork, getting clothes, bottles, caseworker visits, etc.
I am getting discouraged waiting for the next child. I am trusting that God knows who and when. The child that needs our home must still be in his or her current home. That's hard to think about. All I can do it pray for the children in bad situations, and for God to prepare our family.
I am listening to the song "While I'm Waiting. You can listen to it on you tube.
We got a call yesterday. A 6 year old girl with a medical problem. I did some research on the medical problem, and then tried to call my husband. He had accidentally turned his phone off, so it took me 45 minutes to an hour to be able to talk to him. When I called back, the girl had already been placed with someone. So, it was not meant to be. It gave us some motivation, though. We are re-doing one of the bedrooms. It was supposed to be done by February, but everything goes slower than anticipated. It has actually stalled for a while while other projects were tackled. But, this reminded up that we need that bedroom to be finished soon. It is now our top priority project for this weekend.
I heard the block hit Logan's head.
Me: Star, did you hit Logan?
Star: No
Me: Star, did you hit Logan?
Star: No
Me: Star, did the block hit Logan?
Star: Yes
This was a recent conversation at my house:
Charlie: Whose tummy was Daddy in?
Me: Grandma's
Logan: And I was in Grandpa's tummy, right?
Me: No, you were in another mommy's tummy.
Logan: Whose?
Me: I don't know her, but then you came to live with us.
Logan: Yeah! And then I went to Home Depot and was adopted and now I am a (our last name)!
We are a family that has opened our home to foster and adoptive children. Follow our journey along the way...
Kids currently in our home:
"Charlie" - boy born in January 04 (bio)
"Logan" - boy born in Oct 05 (adopted)
"Star" - girl born in January 07 (bio)
"Junior" - boy born August 08 (foster)
So far we have remodeled one room. But, it was a room we were not using at the time anyway, so it was not a big deal. Now, we have begun the process of remodeling the master bedroom, master bath, and closet. Part of the project involves moving the wall between the dining room and our bedroom. The dining room is painfully narrow and we can't even pull the table away from the wall, which obviously limits seating capacity. So, we are moving the wall a few feet so the dining room is more usable for us. So, right now, the dining room, the master bedroom, master bathroom and the closet are all off-limits to kids because of the construction. The kids are eating at the little kid table in the kitchen, and hubby and I eat wherever we can. Also, this affects the foster children we can take. With the pregnancy, I am not supposed to lift over 20 pounds. I don't want to risk getting another baby like Junior - he was almost 30 pounds! And, because we have less bedrooms available, the only place a foster child can go is to share a room with Star. So, we are limiting who we can take for foster children to 1 girl, age 18 months to 3 years. It is a possibility that it could take longer to get a foster child since we are being very specific, but that is all we are able to handle right now with our circumstances.
The goal is reunification with his parents, so we don't know how long we will have him. It might be a couple months; it might be more than a year. 