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Robot Rants |
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On The Road (Er, Flight) To Berlin.Posted at 11:54 AM on Oct. 15, 2009
I awoke to the sound of shouting—I was still in my bag.
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I got-up, unzipped the bag, and took a look around. Evidently, the shouting was coming from several large speakers in the walls and ceiling. I thought it was quite loud (probably because I was right next to one of the speakers) and found the noise hardly comprehensible. However, I did managed to decipher that my flight in which I was supposed to serve some stuff known as "Coffee" was about to leave in less than 3 Minutes and that the final boarding was taking place. At first I understood the words, but didn't know what I was supposed to do. Once I had finally computed that that meant I was supposed to go to the plane as fast as I could, I heard that there was only about 90 seconds left! I panicked for the first 30 seconds—but that was no help, so I ran around in circles and screamed for another 30, but that still didn't work. So I picked-up the bag and raced around them airport until I found my flight—only 10 seconds left! They made this weird kinda dramatic count-down: "10, 9, 8, 7, 6" *I see the door* "3, 2, 1" *I start racing to the door* "0, -1, -2, -3" *I stop, rather confused* "-8, -9 -10 -9 -10 -9 -10" *More confused than ever* "-11, -5, 32, 5643, -849328, -11, 10, -11, 10, -9, 10 and... ZWERK! BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! WHISTLE! *Several electronic noises* Fuzz................" I decided that, even though it appeared there was an intercom-robot system malfunction, there was no need for myself to malfunction, too; so I decided to "Unfreeze" myself and go into the airplane-thingy, Take a few deep "Breaths", reboot, ect. But once I got there, I totally forgot that I was supposed to serve coffee! A robot on the airplane stopped me for a moment, put a large tray on my head, and placed several cups of dark smelly-stuff (When I said they smelled funny, the robot asked how I could smell, as I had no smell-sensors. But I said something like, "Even I can smell that") that seemed rather brownish-blackish. Then the robot left, leaving me there, balancing a large metal tray of Coffee on my head. I wasn't entirely sure what on earth I was doing, but I soon saw a man wave to me, then clap, and then yodel and jump and started shouting "COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MOCA! LATTE! OVER HERE!" over and over again—evidently, he was trying to get my attention and wanted some of the dark stuff. The next 4 1/2 hours are rather hard to explain, and hard to remember: filled with bright blurs of greedy people, giving dark stuff in exchange for green stuff, having several bigger and more experienced robots yelling at me, spilling messes of coffee all over the floor, mistaking the common green stuff for garbage, ect. When this was finally all over and I had sold all the coffee on the tray, I thought I was done—but I have almost never been more wrong. Once I had sat-down to enjoy the flight in my third-class solid-iron seat in the very back, the commander robot got mad at me and refilled my tray with Coffee (it forgot the cups, at first—it just comes to prove that even very experienced robots make mistakes sometimes, which makes me wonder why it got so mad—I think it had a short circuit and a short temper to match). So, in the end, I had to do it all all over again for the next 2/3 of the flight. When I was finally done (I was very tired by now), I met the pilot of the airplane and he asked if I would like to do it all again sometime. He was quite cheerful about it all, but I politely said "No." :) Steve` An Old File From My Memory Banks...Posted at 11:22 AM on Jun. 6, 2009
The falfunctioned F.A.R from a previous post:
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![]() Steve` A Bathroom... There isn't really anything more interesting about it... :) / I didn't know I was Germophobic!Posted at 6:54 PM on May. 22, 2009
So, at around this point, I would come-up with some kind of excuse for my absence of my blog.
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Unfortunately, I am without any luck, so you'll just have to be happy that I'm finally blogging. :) Anyways, I rolled in that bag for a couple of minutes until I ran-into something. Hoping that it was a bathroom, I peeked-out, "Hmmm... That's not it..." A couple minutes later, upon running-into something, I peeked-out again, "Oh, that's not it, either..." After a couple more minutes of rolling, I peeked-out, yet again, "That's not it!" Similar stories occurred during the following 3 hours. Eventually, I, yet again, ran-into (well, technically, I rolled-into it) something again: "That's not it. Ew! What is that? Oh, why, here it is!" I rolled-out-of my bag and, since that bathrooms are known to be somewhat gross, I left my bag outside-of the bathroom. Before I entered the bathroom, I saw two doors—one with a figure depicting a woman, and another depicting a man. I looked at myself—I'm a robot—there's no robot bathroom!!!!! After much deliberation, I decided to go into the first bathroom that was empty—that should be right. I ended-up rolling-into the Men's Bathroom—though I almost tripped the guy that came-out. As usual, he looked at me funny (I wonder why everyone does that... : /). Once I was in the bathroom, I closed the door behind me, and changed a small slot to "Occupied" (this also locked the door). Luckily, this particular bathroom had been vandalized, so the slot was around My "'Eye'-Level." :) I looked-around, and I saw a filthy, icky, smelly, bathroom. My Database told-me that there were over 1.5 million germs in a small section. This terribly frightened me and I tip-toed (something very difficult to achieve, especially if you don't have any toes) around the bathroom, trying to avoid those awful germs. Eventually I managed to climb-onto the top counter. I looked-around and saw two Robot Bath-tubs—just for me! There was even some liquid-soap! I thought, "People are so nice—they made a Robot Bath-tub, just for me! In fact, I don't even see a Person Bath-tub! They are so nice..." I then happily bathed in the Robot Bath-tubs (I used both, twice—there were a lot of germs in the room), and realized how dirty I had been—having not bathed most-of my life. Once I was done, I realized how easy it was to get down from the counter. But then I realized that I had fallen face-first into a big colony of germs! I screamed, rubbed my face, and rolled—right into a wall. I quickly got a hold of myself and quickly rolled to the counter. I then quickly climbed the counter and quickly bathed in both of the tubs. And I am afraid that I didn't actually get out-of there for many an hour—every time was the same story: Roll to counter, climb counter, bathe twice in each tub, jump face-first into a giant colony of germs, and roll into a wall. But eventually, just as I was about to jump-off the counter, I realized I was in some kind of Loop—so I decided to climb down the counter—and then roll-out. I then took a long nap in my bag. Steve` Of Libraries, Malfunctioning Robots, Nightmarish Parking-lots, and Airports.Posted at 12:00 PM on Apr. 25, 2009
Continued from last entry...
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I managed to get-out-of the pile of books with my geography book and Hermit-crab. "YEAH!" I exclaimed as I lifted my book in the air. I then looked-around and realized that there were several other robots (most of them worked there) staring at me funny. I then felt a new emotion: Embarrassment. I then nervously laughed electronically and, after awkwardly standing there while holding my book in the air, I rolled away—completely forgetting about the mess I had left. I went into an empty-bookshelf and opened the book. The book was larger than me and it was most difficult to turn the many pages. But, after aprox. 3 hours, 22 minutes, and 35 seconds; I found the correct page. It turns-out, there was actually an airport right next to the Library I was in. I wondered, "Now how on earth did I miss it? There's a giant tower!" Anyhow, I rolled-off—carrying my book. I was about to roll-out the door when, all of a sudden, there was a loud, bleeping noise. I looked-around—trying to figure-out what had happened. Then I saw a familiar model (read my post, A Confrontation). "WHERE IS YOUR CARD?" said the mechanical-being in a loud, deep, electronic voice. I looked-around, in a panicking-manner. I then spotted, out of sheer luck, a Jack of Hearts on the floor. I picked it up and shielded my face with it in front of the harsh machine. Then, all of a sudden a beam of blue light burst from the machine, swept up and down across my "card", and it then re-entered into the machine. I then heard a bunch of strange sounds come from the machine. I then ran to the desk (evidently, you needed some kind of card in a library). I looked-around for some-kind of receptionist. Then, I saw a robot, a Fully Automated Receptionist (or "FAR") to be exact. I then said, "Card?" The robot then gave-me an Ace of Clubs. I shook my head. It then gave-me a holographic "baseball" card—depicting a box-like robot beating a ball with a wooden bat. I shook my head again. It then grabbed a Library Card and gave-it to me. Then, once I had filled-in the information, a recite came-out of a slot in it's face. "Have a nice day—please come again... Thank you, have a nice day! ... Please, come again... Have a nice day—please, come again soon... HAVE A NICE..." I then went-away (I think it had an error). Once I was outside, I realized that I didn't need the Geography Book now—I knew where the airport was, now. So I decided to return my book early. Once I arrived there, I saw several men with numerous tools and devices—trying to fix the malfunctioned F.A.R. I wasn't quite sure what else to do—the back of the F.A.R's Head was open—it probably wouldn't be of any help. So I put the book on the floor and began rolling-away. But, no sooner had I begun leaving, I realized that the book would easily get damaged on the floor—like a R.A.P.T.O.R (a fragile device my buddies and I used while building the P.T.M-thingy)—so I decided I better put it somewhere on a shelf (wether or not it belonged there). Once I was done with that, I rolled outside and into the parking-lot. I looked-around and I realized that a car was coming right at me! "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" I covered my photosensors and, when I opened them, I realized that the car had already passed-over me. "Oh..." Eventually, I found the airport—at last! Once I arrived inside, I realized that I had a problem: I was broke. So I thought, perhaps I could work-on the plane and earn my stay? I soon found a pilot who needed someone to serve "Coffee" (whatever that meant). As I rolled-away, I saw the pilot stare at me funny. I wondered why people are always so confused when I do something. I soon began looking-for my plane (well, technically, it wasn't my plane—it was the pilot's—well, actually, technically, it was the airline's—but that's beside the point!). Later, I found a bin with a bunch of moldy-food, broken-stuff, several odds-and-ends, rips and crinkles of paper, and just plain GARBAGE. I fell in! As I rolled-around, I tried to avoid these disgusting-things. But soon, I saw a broken BAGGAGE—it only had a broken-zipper (that didn't matter—I could open a zipper with my screw-driver). "YIPEE!" But then I came to realize something: I was stuck in a trash-can. After exactly 3 hours, I realized that I could tip-over the bin! So I leaned on the edge and... I was out! I then rolled-off with my bag (unaware that I had just left a HUGE mess). I realized that I was most messy—I had been in a trash-can. I then realized that I had only been cleaned twice in my whole life! So I took it upon myself to clean myself. I didn't want to get my germs on everything so I jumped-in my bag, zipped-it-up, and began rolling—hoping that I would eventually run-into a bathroom. TO BE CONTINUED... Steve` The LibraryPosted at 8:57 PM on Apr. 14, 2009
After laying-down for a few hours on the sidewalk with Scratchy on my face, I tried getting-up.
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"Nope—still over stimulated." I thought as I collapsed back down on the sidewalk. "Ow..." But, soon enough, it started getting dark and I realized I better make the best out of my day—travel as far as I can until I have to find a place to rest. But then I thought, "Steve, you can't leave yet—you don't even know where you're going! Do you remember what happened last time you only followed instinct—you ended up in Canada! You need a map." So I went to the library—they should have some books on geography or something on their computers there. Once I arrived there, I saw HUNDREDS of books! I then realized that this wasn't just any library—it was Powells! Powells used to be a bookstore but, in 2034, it was turned into a library due to a dramatic chain of events. There were over 7.4 million books (that's a lot of books!)—surely at least 1 geography book must be here! I began looking around when I saw a lady that worked there. She was carrying a large pile of books when she put it in my arms! I think she thought I was one of the robots that worked there. Then another employee dropped a large stack of fat books in my arms! Then another! And another! Then a robot that worked there came over and said in a very thick, mechanical accent, "I am off duty now—here, please take these for me—they belong on shelf number forty-two-thousand-seven-hundred-sixty-three." I wasn't quite certain what a profound answer would be to that. The mechanical being then rolled-away. So there I was—sitting there with aprox. 64 pounds of books. I didn't know what else to do so I decided to work there for a few hours. I managed to strain over to a shelf (I assumed a book belonged there) but I wasn't sure how to get a book from way up in my stack. But, as I gazed-up, I noticed a geography book toward the bottom! I immediately grabbed it—forgetting that I was holding over 50 books. I held it front of me to make sure it really was a geography book, then held it up as I exclaimed, "YAY!" Just at my moment of triumph, several books fell on top of me! "Mphh..." Steve` ScratchyPosted at 11:11 AM on Apr. 11, 2009
Continued from last entry...
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So there I was—sinking. Several thoughts ran through my chip and I felt as if it were going to malfunction. I received a new idea almost every 0.23142 seconds. Unfortunately, all of them appeared irrelevant. But then, perhaps by pure chance, a speedboat began going past me! I nearly leaped into the air and... I must have totally underestimated the distance and depth between me and the boat—because I fell in the water! I would have continued sinking there, if not the strong currents coming from the speedboat had carried me towards the shore. Soon, I was on the shore—laying there, exhausted. But soon, after a couple of waves tried to carry me away again, I was motivated to get up. Just then, I realized something was on my head! Shortly after I noticed this, something strange came from the top of my view screen! I totally freaked-out and I began rolling-around on my treads and rubbing all-over my face—looking like I was going mad. Whatever was on my head, it flew-off and I looked-around to see what it was. It appeared to be some kind of hermit-crab (it probably hitched a ride on me as I was drifting through the currents). I began rolling-away but the hermit crab followed me! No-matter how far away I went or how complicated I zig-zagged, it still seemed to follow me—even when I wasn't on the beach where it could see my tread-marks! I remembered seeing someone walk their dog while I was in my tree-house. So I decided to keep-it as a pet. I soon decided to name it Scratchy (because it scratched my head when I first met it). I soon began looking for some kind of holographic-newspaper so I could find-out where my group went. Eventually I found one. Soon, I began reading. According to the 'paper,' there was a coupon in it for swiss-cheese—1% off! But, since it was holographic, I couldn't really... well... get it out! Anyways, I read and discovered that the model, C.A.C, Nova-Class (that's me!), was "Out-of-date" and that a "Brand new and improved" model was ready—Cluster-Class. The old C.A.Cs would go to a museum in Hamburg, Germany. I thought, "WHAT?!?!?!?!? NOW I HAVE TO GO TO GERMANY??!?!?!?!?!" I collapsed on the hard sidewalk—exhausted just thinking-about it. "Ow..." Steve` I Was Looking...Posted at 7:02 PM on Apr. 5, 2009
I was looking—looking for a boat,
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I was looking—for a boat for me to use! I was looking—for a boat, I was looking—for at least SOMETHING to use! (I didn't realize I was getting poetic) I was looking—for a boat, I was looking—for a boat for me to use! I was looking—for a boat, I was looking—for something to build with, I was looking—for a boat, I was looking—I thought, "I wonder if..." I was looking—for a boat, I was looking—for a... I'm stuck. Oh well! Anyways, you get the point—I was looking for a boat or something like a boat. I looked around and saw, just off a little from the shore, a giant sign that said, "Bob's Rafts." I wondered, "Perhaps Bob, whoever that is, won't mind if I borrow his raft... But then again, last time I borrowed something, it upset the lady. Suppose I asked him? Yes—I'll do just that!" So I went over to "Bob's Rafts", went to the desk, and asked the person at the desk (I assumed that was Bob) if I could borrow their raft. He looked at me—confused. I then realized that I just bleeped at him in Robot Language. I pointed to one of the rafts. He still looked confused. I looked at his shirt and realized that there was a tag on it that read, "Phil." I thought, "Oh—so he's not Bob." I stood there—feeling quite awkward and uncomfortable—a feeling I hadn't experienced before. I saw a piece of paper with words on it on the floor: "BOB'S RAFTS 3 LARGE—$60 9 MEDIUM—$90 12 SMALL—$60 TAX: $3.75 TOTAL EXPENSES: $213.75 CHANGE: $5.63 THANK YOU—PLEASE COME AGAIN This, obviously, was some kind of old receipt that wasn't needed so I took it, punched in a couple of words ("I WANT A RAFT", to be exact) with my screwdriver, and handed it over to... um... Phil—who was obviously currently dazed. He slowly razed a hand—pointing over to a small raft. I picked it up, and began leaving. But he shouted, "STOP! THIEF!" I put it down and looked around for the "Thief..." I then realized that I was the thief! So I brought the raft over to him and put it on the counter. He backed away from it and coughed—stating that he was allergic to rafts. This made absolutely no sense because how can you be allergic to rafts? Maybe the material it was made with but probably not the raft itself. And, if he was allergic to rafts, why did he work here? This all ran through my head when, all of a sudden, I saw a hand in front of me. Phil was reaching-out and said, "Five dollars please." I looked around but I didn't see any money. I held a grasper up and ran out the door. I came back with five rocks I found and handed it to him. He stared at it curiously but he gave me the raft and, soon, I was at the shore. I took that raft, and threw it in the water. I then rolled in and I was soon on my way across the river. Well, it seemed that way but I soon realized I was actually going down the river. I thought maybe I could use my screw-driver as a rudder so I went to the back, leaned-over and... I heard a noise. It sounded like, "PHHHHHTTTT!"—like air being released from a balloon. I then realized that I had popped a hole in the raft with my screw-driver and that I was sinking slowly! I began waving my arms and made a bunch of loud noises but it seemed like no one was noticing me. So I waved faster and was even louder! I looked-down and saw that the raft was half-way filled with water—and still rising! That really motivated me to make loud-noises and flap my arms more. Steve` Headin' South—Ye-Haw! No Wait...Posted at 6:53 PM on Apr. 1, 2009
So today, I was awakened at the sound of several objects sliding down the top of my temporary shelter.
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I turns out, there are a bunch of short people that, for some reason, absolutely love sliding down this... er... uh... slide... Anyways, I began heading south today and, when I saw the columbia river, I knew I was almost there. But by that time I was quite tired. But I realized I had enough energy-level to get over the bridge. But then I realized the terrible truth—the bridge was a connection between the two P.T.Ms! Not only had I been too late to build the P.T.M but I wouldn't be able to get over without another wild-ride! "Well, maybe when I go there I will find a clue to where they went." thought I. So I made-up my mind to still go to Portland. I decided to take it nice and slow boarding the P.T.M this time. I went over to the station and saw the little keyboard/screen-thingy I saw before. But, instead of running-up onto it, I had a plan: I would take that lady over there's purse (she wasn't near it so I supposed she didn't care—I would give it back later), bring it to the keyboard/screen-thingy, drive onto it, type in, "PORTLAND", run really fast over to give the lady her purse back, and board the P.T.M-thingy-majig. I then thought to myself, "Step 1—get the lady's purse and bring it to the keyboard-thing." I rolled-over, and began pulling... straining... continual straining... AND... *THONK!* "...Ow...."—the purse fell on-top of me—it was on a bench when I pulled it. I got-up, dragged the thing over to the keyboard-thing, went on top, and... I heard the lady screaming, "My purse! Oh my! Who has my purse?!?!?!?!" "Uh-oh..." I then realized that she must've wanted it and I brought it over behind the bench. I then watched from a safe distance and made sure she got her purse back. I then rolled out-of the station and thought, "What now?" I rolled over to the Columbia River—intending to look at my reflection and, somehow, the idea would pop-up. But I never did really get to look at my reflection—because an idea popped-up after seeing a large barge (hey that rhymed—I didn't expect that!)—a boat! I could build a boat! And I'll leave you guys on a cliff-hanger for dramatic-emphasis—and I'm rather tired now... Steve` Pleased...Posted at 7:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2009
I never truly stopped and looked at my entire blog.
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And, I must say, not to gloat or anything, that is quite something. I am quite pleased with it and how far I've gotten into this whole 'blogging-thing.' Anyways, I was wondering, when you read my posts, what do you think I look like? Thanks for taking-time to read my blog! Steve` P.S: Tonight, I will be staying under a Park-Slide. It's rather cold but it works—besides, I can just turn-off my Temperature Sensors... Trouble And TravelsPosted at 11:31 AM on Mar. 15, 2009
I sat... watching... waiting... as I was waiting for my Solar-Charge Level to... well... charge-up...
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I had managed to get in the tree where I found it easier to reach the sun. Shade is good most of the time but, when you want to charge-up, it isn't so convenient. But as I sat there, I thought perhaps I could write a poem—about charging! But, unintentionally, my look turned into a stare. This must've made him feel uncomfortable or something so he went away. Of course, it might've just been because most robots tend not to go into trees—or it could be both. "WOAH!"—I slipped! Bang! Bang! Snap! Snap! BANG! "Ow..." Bang bang bang—the tree branches I had broken came on top of me! "Ow..." I was still frustrated because, in almost every post, I get smashed or I fall somehow and it's always from a great hight. Anyways, I was just getting sick of it so I spun in circles, made funny noises, and freaked-out until I felt better. But, you see, the problem was, was that that might've made me feel better but I have a feeling that my actions at that time may have disturbed or freaked-out others around me. Anyways, even if I had made trouble, it gave me all more the reason to continue on my trip. I wanted to bring my house with me so I wouldn't have to build a new one but, the problem was, my dwelling didn't turn-out to be really that mobile. So I decided that, since I had caused some trouble, and I couldn't really bring it with me anyways, I would leave it for someone else to live in. I then began moving onward to where I thought Portland was. I traveled further and further until I reached a large sign. I then began to read what it said: "Welcome to Canada! Bienvenue vers le Canada ! ¡Recepcion a Canada!"(There was a little thingy on top of the 'o'). Oh no—I had gone in the opposite direction from Portland—I was in Canada! Steve` Travels...Posted at 10:33 AM on Mar. 3, 2009
I yawned a long, electric yawn as I activated...
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I stretched, and then looked out the window. I heard a pretty noise—so I decided to stay and listen for a while. But, after about 27 minutes and 43 seconds, I wondered what was making the sound so I leaned a little out of my window to look. I looked to my right and I saw that, in the tree my house was in, there was a feathered animal that could fly that made that sound! But then I leaned out of my window so much that I slipped and went falling down the tree! "AHHHH!!!!" Thonk! "Ow..." I was very frustrated because, for the last two days or so, I had been falling down from a lot of high altitudes and I was getting rather sick of it. I wondered, "How come those feathered creatures can fly and I can't?" I took one last look at the feathered creature and then went away. I still wanted to see if I could get to Portland and help build that P.T.M. I went in the direction I thought that Portland was and began traveling. During which, I saw a strange animal on a leash! I wondered, "Maybe he is a captive and needs my rescuing!" "But then again, maybe he doesn't need my rescuing—maybe he doesn't want to be rescued." But I may never know whether or not he did because, when I looked up, I saw that the animal was gone. Eventually, I began to get tired and I realized that another day has almost come and gone and that I should probably find a place to rest. I didn't see any other houses in trees so it looked like I was on my own. But then I thought, "Maybe I could build a house in a tree!" I found a bunch of discarded sticks and branches from a large tree. I decided to use them since I discovered, after attempting to put them back in, the tree didn't intend to use them. Using my screw-driver, I managed to cut-out a few 'screws' out of the wood. I soon began building. Once I was done, I realized that my house turned out to be a pretty good one! All I had to do know was get it in the tree. I tried to pick it up but that didn't seem to work—it almost crushed me! After I got out of this predicament, I decided to sit down and think. I then thought, "Perhaps it doesn't have to go in a tree! Perhaps I could just sleep in it right now!" This turned out to be so and I was soon fast deactivated... Steve` Things NOT To DoPosted at 9:14 PM on Feb. 18, 2009
Once again, continued from last entry...
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I went over to the Motel but they wouldn't take me because I didn't have any green-stuff. I didn't quite get it but I decided to just go with it. So I needed to find something that was free and high-quality (I later discovered that this wasn't really possible). My first idea was to go over to one of those machines that that P.T.M-Thingy carries. It wasn't on the P.T.M right now so I supposed it was okay (boy was I wrong!)... Right as I was about to fall asleep this annoying rumbling sound disturbed me. I eventually got so annoyed that I knocked on the bottom of the machine. I then began making making a sound my commander used to make when he wanted me and my friends to stop something or when we were doing something wrong. But the rumbling sound continued and, when I was about to go out there and see what this thing wanted, it began to move! "Uh oh..." "Ow!" That wasn't so pleasant but, like I've said before, I'm built to sustain such pressure. My second idea was to go into these little structures that most people seem to go in when they are done with their work. I knocked on the blockade at the front of the house and it opened! But the door pushed me back toward the wall behind the blockade. The figure looked around and then closed the blockade again. I soon began a mission in which I had to get into this habitable structure. I tried getting in 47 ways—all of them failed. They included trying to break the windows (I was too short to reach them), trying to drill through the bricks with my screwdriver, and charging straight into the wall. But I soon noticed a kind of shaft at the top of the structure. I managed to get into a tree with a rubber-ducky on my head I found on the road (don't even ask). I saw that a branch just barely touched the edge of the top of the structure. "All I have to do is roll over it!" I thought. I rolled up and... "AHHHH!"—it snapped! "Ow..." I tried a second time—this time very slowly and very carefully. I was almost at the end when—it snapped again! "AHHHH!" "Ow..." I tried again slowly and carefully and... I made it! I nearly leapt for joy. But this made me fall backwards 20 ft. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" "Ow..." I tried again—the same way I did last time except, this time, when I felt like nearly leaping for joy, I did my best to keep my rejoicing discrete. I climbed into the thing and, all of a sudden, found myself falling and quickly accelerating in speed! I eventually landed, though. "Ow..." I looked around and realized that the entire area was on fire! I wondered, "How could someone live in this?" I began climbing and trying to get out. My metal was heating up quickly! But, at length, I managed to get out. I brushed off some of the ash from my photographers and took a look around. I noticed a building in a tree! I also saw that there was a ladder so you could get up the tree! I managed to get up the thing (it isn't that easy with treads) and I saw that there were these soft things in it. But these were different form the soft things in the Motel—they weren't sinky. You could just crawl in, zip yourself up, and you could go to sleep! I was about to do just that when I heard a siren go off! I knew what that meant—we used sirens all the time while building the P.T.M. There was a bolt give-away! I was most excited about this and I looked out a window. But this obviously wasn't the usual—a figure dressed in black had broken a window and was running out with, out of all things, a chair! But one of those metallic figures that I nearly got in a quarrel with earlier tackled him and he was soon driven away in a truck with bars on it. At that moment, I realized that people evidently don't like it when you try to break into their house. So I decided not to do that in the future... Steve` Charge-UpPosted at 11:08 AM on Feb. 13, 2009
I decided the first thing I should do was to get on the roof of the motel I stayed in and charge.
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I wanted to stay away from the crowds because I was afraid that, while I was charging, someone would steal me or something. Solar Panels are also worth a good bit around here and, without those, I wouldn't be able to charge which would be disastrous. But then I thought, "How am I supposed to get up there?" My first idea was Climbing. So I began climbing using ledges of the bricks in the wall. It was very complicated because I don't have any feet and I don't really have much Upper-strength. Eventually, I thought, "I'm almost there, I'm almost there, just a few more ste.." Right as I was about to finish my mental sentence I looked down and saw that I was only 5 1/2 inches high! I got rather frustrated and I slapped my face in dismay (if you know what I mean) and I lost my grip and ended up falling. Luckily, it didn't hurt to much mostly because I wasn't very far up and I am built to sustain higher damage anyway. I kind of threw-away the idea of climbing and I sat down and thought for a little while longer. "What if I built myself a Ladder of some sort..." I was very pleased with this idea and I decided to 'set to work' right away. I went over to a building that said, "Movie Store." I wondered, "What is a Movie Store?" I knew that I could Store memory on My Memory Chip so maybe Movie a fancy word for Memory. Anyways, I decided to go in. It didn't look at all like what I expected! These 'Movies' were stored in these little Rectangular Prisms. I thought, "Maybe I could use some of these to build my ladder!" But then I remembered that it appears people (and giant machines apparently) don't really like it when you just go in and take something (even if you intend to put them back later). So I thought, "How am I supposed to get my hands on these?" But then I remembered another time when I used to trade parts with my buddies while working on the P.T.M. "Maybe I could trade in that piece of paper (she called it a 'Coupon') that that receptionist at the Motel game me for a Movie or two." I attempted this and by sheer luck I ended up in the line of a guy who was the 'biggest fan' of this Motel. So I ended up with 5 of these things. So I went over to the motel and managed to build a ladder. it looked a little short but I had confidence. I went up and discovered that it was too short. I went down and up again and it still was too short. I did this about 5 or 6 more times until I realized that, no matter how many times I did this, I ended up with the same results. Then I decided to buy a ladder. I remembered during my Peanut-Adventure I sold Peanuts and people would give me the green, papery, stuff which I could use to buy a room at the Motel for the day. I wondered, "Maybe I could sell my videos, get the stuff, and see if it works for ladders." I did just that and soon I went to a place called, "Ladder Co." There, I bought a ladder and wondered why every time I purchase something the person who's selling the object is almost always confused. I then brought the ladder over to the Motel and, it was still too short. Then I realized that the Motel was many stories high. I thought, "Maybe the building is just too tall!" So I brought it over to a shorter building and... It worked ! I charged-up and realized that it was getting dark and that I better find another place to stay or something like that. Steve` My RoomPosted at 6:39 PM on Feb. 10, 2009
Then I got so frustrated that I kicked the door with my tread and—it opened!
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I suddenly felt a large amount of irony. I rolled in and I saw quite the sight: A Cool Screeny-Looking-Thingy, A Rectangular-Shaped Object With Buttons On Top, A Gaint, Soft-Thingy, and a... Then I wondered: "What is that? I saw a little knobby-thingy on it. I turned it and—it lit up! I happily turned this on and off a couple of times until it exploded. This sent me flying over onto the Soft-Thingy. It was most uncomfortable and it was very hard to move. I tried my best to get out of this mess but I soon discovered I was sinking in it! Soon I was in a pit of seemingly un-escapable squishiness. I then got my Screw-Driver Arm and cut-through this material until I fell out a side. "Oof!" *Pause* "Ow..." Soon I realized that I was very tired from having done all this work in one day so I decided to shut-down. But then I heard a beeping noise from a box with several digits on it. I got up—dragging my arms behind me and saw that it was 10:00 AM! I had worked so long on trying to get in here that I now had no more time in the day! Technically, they were supposed to have a delicious Ca-gin Breakfast but there is one slight problem: "I DON'T HAVE A MOUTH!" Besides, even if I did have a mouth I don't know what I would do with it anyway! Just as I was thinking this a waiter came and handed me a tray of muffins. Then someone else came, gave me a piece of paper that said: "50% off", thanked me for my stay at something something Motel, and led me to the door. And so there I was: Exhausted, low on Solar Energy, and in a world I hardly knew. Steve` Another AttemptPosted at 6:57 PM on Feb. 7, 2009
Continued from last entry...
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"The Rolls...", said he. I looked at the White-stuff... and then at him again... and then at the white stuff... Then a thought made it's way into My Memory Banks: "Maybe he really did mean the White-stuff..." I picked up one of the rolls and an arm came out of him and he took it. So I guess that's what he wanted! He took the rest of them and then left—but now I had no staircase! So I looked around for something else to use that wouldn't get that... that... thingy mad... Then I had an idea: "Maybe I could catapult myself over to the door-knob. I remembered seeing an interesting looking stick next to the giant bowl of water in the bathroom. I also remembered that it felt kind-of rubbery. So I went to the bathroom and found a spare one and brought it over to the door-way of my room. The receptionist still seemed confused... I stuck the stick in the ground, laid on it—holding on to the floor, and let go. BAM! "Ow..."—I missed. I did it again—"Ooff!" Again—"Ow!" and Again—"Ouch!" Then I got mad! I did so again but this time I turned it a little to the right as I noticed I kept hitting the same spot consistently. It worked! I turned the door-knob and let go—dropping to the floor. I then laughed happily and turned around and... it closed! Steve` A Confrontation...Posted at 2:25 PM on Jan. 29, 2009
Once I found my room's number, I sat there in front of it (I wasn't entirely sure how I would get this blockade in front of my room to open).
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I saw a little Knobby-Thingy on it, "Maybe that has something to do with it," thought I. So I reached as high as I could and... I couldn't reach it. "Aw man!", I thought, "Maybe some day I can find a part to make me taller..." Anyways, since I wasn't tall right now, I decided to find something else to help me. I looked around but I didn't really see anything that looked helpful. So I decided to look around the rest of the building. I went back to the receptionist and asked her where the bathrooms were. She looked at me even more oddly then before and answered, "Down the hall..." she said rather nervously, "Second door to your right." "Thank you," I said. So I went over to the bathroom and I found a cupboard full of little white stuff wrapped around a bunch of cylinders of cardboard. I nearly leapt for joy and I brought all these things over to the hallway—I was going to build a staircase. Along the way, the receptionist looked very confused as she saw me tied to these things with white stuff as I raced down the hall. Once I built my staircase, I was about to turn the knob when I heard a deep, electronic, "Hey!" This frightened me and I sprang back—knocking down my staircase all together. I peeked my head from the pile I was buried in and I saw tall, metallic figure with a large laser-gun. "Hi?" said I nervously. "Hand over the rolls." he said in a loud, strong voice. I looked around for some rolls and then I realized he meant this white stuff. I was about to hand him it when he said, "Hand over the Toilet-Paper Rolls." I looked around but I didn't know what a Toilet-Paper Roll was so I asked, "What?" TO BE CONTINUED Steve` Unprosperous But FunPosted at 6:46 PM on Jan. 24, 2009
So there I was, just sitting there...
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I still wasn't entirely sure how to get to Portland and I kinda wanted to avoid that P.T.M-Thingy. So I sat there... Watching... Waiting for a thought to 'pop-up.' I sat there for about 5 hours and still I had gained nothing other then wasted time in the universe. Then in my watchingness I noticed a fellow-robot fixing a pump. He waved to me so, to be polite, I waved back to him (as seems to be the custom around here). Then, almost immediately, three yellow cars came right up to me (they used the P.T.M). "Woah!" I exclaimed. I went on a little further down the side-walk and waved. Then the same thing happened except this time 5 yellow cars came up. Then I had an idea (though I have to say it wasn't very prosperous). I went back to where I was and waved. Then went to the other end and waved. And I continued this for quite some time until I got bored of it. Okay, so, actually, I didn't really 'get bored of it' the yellow cars just stopped doing when I waved leaving me there waving back and forth looking like... like I... well I'm trying to find a fancy word for half-crazed-robot but, so far, I am seeming to have no luck. Then I saw that it was late and I had to find some shelter. So this time I decided to go into a building for shelter. I remembered how I earned some cash from my 'Peanut-Bug-Experience' so I rented myself a motel room for a night. I'm quite sure why but the receptionist looked rather confused when I asked for one. Maybe not many robots ask for a motel room in this city. By for now, Steve` "So That's Where Everyone's Gone!"Posted at 11:50 AM on Jan. 18, 2009
The Next Morning, I was awakened by a loud, *CRASH!*, Cat Litter in my face, and a guilty-looking Fly who's only purpose in this world (other then decomposing) seemed to be a "Lander-On-er" and to buzz around annoyingly.
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I realized that my entire 'Temporary Home' had just collapsed on me due to a Fly that must've either been overweight, or my house simply couldn't hold that much weight. After 3 Hours, 41 Minutes, and 53 Seconds of squirming for freedom I was out of this mess that used to be my home. I then realized that it was very early. In fact, the sun hadn't even 'Activated' yet. I was very tired mostly because I wasn't used to getting up so early but also because I had used most of my energy 'Squirming for Freedom.' I looked around and realized that I was in the Junk Yard! I then began my search for a C.A.C but I couldn't find even part of one. That half relieved me and half disturbed me because I still didn't know where they were. As I was heading 'Home,' I accidently treaded over a micro-chip. This somehow triggered a giant burst of Blue-ish light and I discovered that, when you are frightened, you actually have A LOT more energy then expected because I managed to let out an, "AH!", nearly leap in the air (something I am not capable-of according to my structure), race as fast as my treads could carry me, and hide behind an old box of Coca-Cola Bottles. I then saw that a Holographic-Newspaper had 'leaped-up' from the micro-chip. I began to read the best I could (I can't quite read all The English Language yet). From the newspaper's information, I discovered that not only are my friends currently working on another P.T.M in Portland Oregon, but also that there will be a sale on quilts in the Museum of the International Art Association of America (this confused me because how can you have something International and then 'of America?'), a 'Buy-One Get-One Sale' at a Pizza Place in downtown Seatle (the one you received wasn't free but the one you paid for), and that the average for this weeks weather would be around 67°. After I had read this I decided that I would go over to Portland Oregon and help build that P.T.M! But I wasn't exactly sure how to get there. But I was sure that there weren't very many Transportation Options in The Junk Yard so I left The Junk Yard and ventured out into the world... Steve` A Wild RidePosted at 9:58 AM on Jan. 12, 2009
Continued from last entry...
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Then I got rather mad (an emotion I've never experienced before)! I grabbed the Keyboard/G.P.S, Lifted my face on it, and flipped on-top of it! I was very proud of myself. And I just sat there until I realized that, when I landed on the Keyboard/G.P.S, I pressed down a bunch of Keys. The screen showed the following in several languages: "PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOUR VEHICLE—A CLAW® WILL ASSIST YOU TO YOUR LOCATION, 3q9 8j3wkmw3q"JSKdflkk;kaza 'dsjf';aLA JALKJKSDKJjl8*•¢$21, IN A MOMENT..." Then, about two seconds after I had read this, a Grabber came over (they call it a 'CLAW®'). Then, milliseconds before it grabbed me, I said "Uh-oh!" I was then brought over to the road at high speeds (Okay, so, technically, if I was in a car there would be stabilizers so I wouldn't feel anything but I wasn't a car and the stabilizers were too big)! I covered my Photographers... Aprox. 10 seconds later, I peeked and saw that I was heading straight for a bunch of cars! The good news is that I am in one piece because the sensors automatically avoided each other. The bad news is that they tilted, rose and lowered. So you can imagine how dizzy I was afterwards. Eventually, I arrived at 'My Location.' It appeared to be some kind of bar or night club. I wasn't sure where I was or how far away the Junk Yard was.. I had the biggest head-ache ever and I was quite tired from my LONG journey. So I decided to find a place to stay the night. First, I went to a rather small house, cute little house that said the word: "DOG" on it. I thought that 'DOG' was some sort of welcoming word and I decided to go in. You can probably imagine the scene that happened next. Next, I chose an Old Tire. But then, right as I began to relax, the whole world appeared to be spinning! I knew that the Earth Rotated but I thought we wouldn't really notice. Then I realized that this wasn't just 'An Old Tire' but it was also An Old Tire that was on a Wheel which was on a car which was moving. Eventually, I made it out of there. I then decided that I would make my shelter. So I found an old flattened out Cherrio Box, a Tire (I looked at it from all angles and dimensions to make sure there wasn't a car hiding behind it :) ), a bunch of Toothbrushes (I found a whole box of them), and an old Litter Box and built the home of my dreams. Okay, so, it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to but I suppose it was good as a Temporary Home. TO BE CONTINUED... Steve` "Where's Everyone Gone?"Posted at 6:18 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
So there I was... alone...
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I didn't know what to do—I had never been alone with nowhere to go. Eventually, I made up my mind to go and find my group. I remembered once while I was trying to find my way home from a long three days of selling peanuts (don't even ask), I saw a junk yard with some old, broken, and rusted robots in it. I didn't want this to happen to my group so I decided to go there and rescue them. But I wasn't entirely sure how to get there. Thought 1: "I suppose I could just use my treads." Thought 2: "But I'm not even sure where it is." Thought 3: "I suppose I could use that cool P.T.M Thingy." Though 4: "Yes! I'll do that!" Though 5: "If it can lift a car it'll definitely be able to lift me!" So I went over to the P.T.M. But then I realized something—I'm too short to reach the Keyboard/G.P.S Thingy! I looked around but I didn't see anything that could give me a 'boost.' I sat there and thought for a minute. After about 10 minutes a thought came into my mind: "Maybe I could climb!" So I reached for the Keyboard with both my hands and tried to lift myself up on it. I could just barely get my face on it—but then I fell. "Ow..." Then I decided to do a running start. But, milliseconds before I hit the wall, I realized that I couldn't jump. CRASH! "Ow..." TO BE CONTINUED... Steve` <- Last Page | Next Page -> |
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