Family Goals
1. Purpose to be home more in 2008.
2. Love one another, prefer one another, be kind and tender-hearted to one another.
(Family Verse for 2008, Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."ESV)
Personal Goals
(Revised from last year)
1. Read my Bible and pray every day possible.
(Growing in grace to do what I know I am called to do, pursue holiness.)
2. Seek out tangible ways to encourage others as often as possible.
3. Purpose and pray to eat only when I am hungry, stopping when I am full, not stuffed!
The way to Heaven is ascending;
we must be content to travel uphill,
though it be hard and tiresome,
and contrary to the natural bias of our flesh.
Jonathan Edwards
May. 5, 2008~ Core Verse number 2 ~
Our most excellent new pastor rebuked us last week for being too lazy too memorize the Word. Therefore we now have a weekly memory verse assignment. The following is this week's verse.
"We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints." Colossians 1:3-4
If you'd like more information about my church, go here.
Several things going through my mind this week. I needed a place to sort them out. So here I go...
First off, I had one of those days when I truly wanted to give up on my homeschool. Actually, I wanted to leave the state! I even dreamed about what it would be like to be all alone in another state with a clean slate! But I am better now. I think it must be the time of year. We have less than 20 days to go. The weather is nice enough that they would rather be outside. I have a lot on my mind, so everything distracts me and I get side tracked too easily and our lessons suffer. And attitudes are not what they should be. I know everyone has bad days. What keeps me going is that I have not been told to stop. The Lord is the only One who can make me. I stand firm and will go forward until He says otherwise.
Friday is my meeting with the local government school to decide if Grace needs OT/PT next year. I have been diligently praying for wisdom. Right now I am not very confident about which direction to go. Grace has made amazing progress this year physically. I am certain her therapies have helped. I have talked to her therapists and they agree. However, they are leaving it up to me. My main goal would be for her to maintain and tweak some of the areas she is still delayed in. But, I am also weary of driving to school twice a week and I would like not to have anything to do with the government schools. My weariness probably should not be factored in here. So I will try not to think of that when I make this decision. The bottom line is that she probably could use the services again next year and as long as they are willing to provide them, then that is what I should do. Right? I do think that I made a mistake this week by revealing a little too much information when the resource teacher called to discuss Grace's IEP. It was the day I was ready to quit. Anyway, I told her how Grace is struggling with spelling and that may open a can of worms. I am praying that I can handle myself well during the conference. This particular teacher is not homeschool friendly. She has the attitude that only experts can teach. You know the type. Anyway, I did some assessments with Grace yesterday using the Indiana Academic Standards website and she did OK. Maybe that will appease this teacher. Why do I open my mouth? Ugh.
And then there is my sweet grandma in the rehab hospital. I can't go into specific details, but there is a family situation brewing that is making this more difficult that it needs to be. What is shocking and very sad is that this person causing the trouble claims to be a devout Christian. This person feels entitled and is mad that no one else feels the same way. Why can't we all be grown ups?
And finally, there is a business issue that I cannot speak about that is heavy on my mind. I am too sentimental. That's all I will say for now. I need to just let it go and see what the Lord has in mind, when the time comes.
Oh, there is one more thing. I gave up artificial sweeteners this last week. I feel that they are attributing to my dieting failures. I am also weaning myself off diet sodas and gum. And I need to wean from caffeine. When my coffee is used up, I will make the change. This is a huge deal for me. I really hope it makes a difference.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read this.
I wish I could express myself as well as others. Here is a blog from my friend Daisy that sums up what has been on my heart for a long time, but unable to express. Thank you, Daisy for writing this.
I struggle with finding that perfect balance between "real life" and my blog. I finally have a deeper understanding of why I crave this internet world. I think the very nature of homeschooling is isolating. I crave your feedback! I really should be craving the feedback of my LORD. Shamefully, I would rather get a comment from one of you than sit quietly and WAIT on the LORD. I am not going quit blogging. It is a valuable asset, if used in moderation. But I cannot let it get in the way of my relationships in the real world, especially with my children.
I am going to pray that I will find that balance. I know I am not alone in this struggle. Like most things in life, too much of a good thing separates us from our first love.
I am sure that I will not do justice to my Lord with the words I am about to write. And I am also sure to ramble. There is just so much to say. Let me start with a little background.
Last Tuesday night, my sweet husband got a call asking him to fill in for the current first grade Sunday School teacher at our home church, the one we left for 8 months. When we went back to the church a month ago, my husband had said he would be happy to help out if needed since we ran the first grade last year and he had all the lessons already prepared. As it turns out, It seems that the current leader is having to work every other Sunday now and so needs help. Plus, there are other helpers who are not able to finish the year due to various obstacles like moving, babies or jobs.
This last fact did not hit home until this morning when we were the only ones to show up to open up the classroom, not knowing a thing about how the class had been managed and not knowing any of the children, too. Thankfully, and but for the grace of the Lord, I was calm and really not afraid. (Or just plain stupid?) Somehow, I knew we could do it, even if it was just my husband, myself and the 50 first graders! (lol) Thankfully, we did end up having a mother stay to help and then 2 workers show up, so we were only down 3 after all.
That is all the background. What I want to tell you is how good the Lord is. He did not give up on us when we ran away and left this class 8 months ago. I now know that He called us to run this program. We ran, and the people who ended up with the job were not the right people. We are! I knew this the instant I opened the classroom's closet. Would you believe that nothing had been touched for 8 months? The materials from last year's class were still in the buckets with this year's class materials. The totes were a mess. It was obvious that the person in charge had not put their heart into this job like we did. I am not saying this to be prideful. I am not. I know this person has tried, but when it is not your calling to fulfill a job, it is not going to work out. I know this because I have been in that person's shoes before, trying to do a job I was not called to do.
What is so exciting is that I finally know! I've always thought that I was a faithful worker bee and did not have the gift to run a large classroom. "It's not my gift", I told someone just this past week. Perhaps, I knew, but did not like the gift I was given because it was not comfortable. I am stretched when I am in charge. It is sometimes painful even. And I had been fretting all week about the possibility of going back to first grade next year, as they had asked us to pray about leading again next year and my husband was thinking it was a good idea! So I went to prayer about this situation. I don't usually get such clear answers and so quickly. Well, let me tell you, today was the answer to my prayer. Who else but us? We love the children. We love the Lord. We love the body of Christ we are to serve. And we can do the job well! But I was so afraid to make this commitment again. It's a year long one with 8 weeks off in the summer. It is a job that no one can do without the power of Jesus. I was feeling so weak when they asked us. I was afraid. I was wanting to be comfortable. Oh, I can't tell you how scared it made me to think about next year!
So why was I so unconcerned about today? I cannot explain it except for it being a gift of grace from the Lord. Perhaps I saw how much we were needed and I just knew we could do it with Jesus' blessing. And there is no mistake we had His blessing because the morning went so smoothly and seemed so normal. Because we came in the name of the Lord with His power and grace! So the end of the story is this. We are going to take over this class and pray mighty things will come of our submission to the Lord. And I could not be more excited!
Thank You Jesus for changing my heart and for showing me so clearly Your will.Use us, the most unlikely of people, to bring glory to Yourself, dear Jesus!
Today I will be busy getting ready for tomorrow's family dinner at our home, while Jeff is at work. Family dinners are a blessing and a bit of a curse at the same time. I pray that one day I will be less like Martha in the Bible and more like Mary when it comes to hosting events. Does anyone else feel like a Martha?
One other thing we hope to do today is get Grace's room reorganized. We are taking out all the toys except for one or two categories. She is upset about this, but until she can mange more, she is going to have to deal with it. We have tried every thing we can think of. She is just unable to order her world. Perhaps with less to order she can learn to do a better job.
My heart has been heavy this week as my dear aunt was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. She is in her 50's. I am so helpless as how to comfort her and my grandmother, her mother.
Last night, I made a mess of things and hurt the feelings of someone I love dearly. I think we were under attack for wanting to go to church's candle light service. I totally did not think before I spoke. And we did not prepare our hearts before we left home. Instead we were busy with life and rushing around trying to do one more thing before the next thing on our list. Oh, how I hate when this happens.
Tomorrow, we plan to go to the sunrise service as past experience tells us that there will be standing room only at our church. And with the new pastor speaking, it will be even more packed out than usual. That is a blessing, don't get me wrong, so many people will hear the gospel. But it is also a bit of a trial trying to navigate the crowds.
I am also praying about taking a spring break, a real spring break, one from lessons as well as electronic devices. I was against it at first as we have had a struggle getting back into a routine after Christmas. But, perhaps we could even go away and visit someone, like Jeff's mom, who will be on break the first week of April. I don't know. I just am tossing around ideas and praying. What I do know is that it would not hurt any of us to cut back on the computer and TV for a week. But, I've tried before and it didn't work out the way I wanted.
I am going to make sure that this week I do not turn on the computer until after our lessons are finished and my chores are done. I also may not be able to respond to every comment. I may have to let a few go. Something I hardly ever do! Oh well... I know you'll understand if I am trying to be Busy At Home!
Sorry this has rambled on a bit. Just wanted to share what is on my heart today. I pray you have a blessed weekend.
You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person.
No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak.
Hi Friends,
I am thinking about taking a blog holiday the week after Thanksgiving. That week will be the first week after 8 weeks of co-op. (I can't believe it has been 8 weeks already.) I feel the need to have a week free of distractions to work on a few things that have been on my heart lately. These are a few of the things I would hope to accomplish during my holiday.
Implement new post co-op routine
Focus on chores: who does what and how to do it
Do our long awaited owl unit study
Spend long afternoons playing our favorite games
No TV, computer*
Start making cookies to freeze for Christmas
Visit Great Grandparents
Work on loving one another
*I probably won't be perfect this week. I may have to have my husband take the cables to the computer with him to work! I am not even sure yet if I need to be totally away from the computer. Maybe just 9-5? I am praying about that part. I don't want to punish my friends. (Sorry for being so conceited! ) Maybe I could check in once a day.
I will glory in my Redeemer
Whose priceless blood has ransomed me
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
And hung Him on that judgment tree
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who crushed the power of sin and death
My only Savior before the Holy Judge
The Lamb Who is my righteousness
The Lamb Who is my righteousness
I will glory in my Redeemer
My life He bought, my love He owns
I have no longings for another
I’m satisfied in Him alone
I will glory in my Redeemer
His faithfulness my standing place
Though foes are mighty and rush upon me
My feet are firm, held by His grace
My feet are firm, held by His grace
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who carries me on eagle’s wings
He crowns my life with lovingkindness
His triumph song I’ll ever sing
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who waits for me at gates of gold
And when He calls me it will be paradise
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold
Since I last posted, some awesome things have happened. Working with my husband on this Twaddle Free Christmas is proving to be quite the stress reducer. This week we found the kids "major" gifts online at BIG discounts, without shipping!!! Amazing! I still cannot believe it. (When I think of all the past shipping I have paid around Christmas time, I cringe!) Anyway, they are purchased and either here or on their way.
We took some time last night to look through some more TF (Twaddle Free) catalogs, so that we will be ready on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is when my MIL wants her Christmas shopping lists. We usually find things in a catalog so she doesn't have to do a lot of running around. Now I just need to find a few little things for stockings and we are set.
I am also trying to figure out what to do about cards. I enjoy getting cards, so giving them is important. I just need to find a way to make it less expensive. I've made them in the past. And there is no way getting around the postage, unless I was to email them. But does that seem like a "real" card? I like getting ecards, don't get me wrong. I need to get over it and just realize that I can only do what I can do.
I am still having twinges of worry every once in awhile. Worry that the kids will notice that there is a lot less this year. Here is another place where I just need to get over it and realize that I can only do what I can do! And I think we will gently find a way to prepare them. We have to. Last night at dinner, Grace said that her best friend told her there was no Santa. She did not ask me if it was true. But if she does, I am not going to lie to her. I already feel as if I am lying anyway. But until the leader of this family feels the same, then I am silent on the matter.
I am thankful, so thankful for the grace and mercy of my LORD.
I actually should have titled this Christmas Blues, part 2. I was very much blessed by you all who left comments to my earlier Christmas post. I wanted to tell you how things are shaping up and how encouraged I now feel.
I realized that part of my own negative feelings about Christmas were coming from my own stress. Who needs one extra thing to do, let alone the hundreds of things we feel we have to do around Christmas? I got out my Flylady Christmas Control Journal and started looking back at last year. Thankfully, I kept last year's pages and actually wrote myself notes for this year!
I also had the chance to sit down with my dh and make a list of the things we thought we could buy for the kids, making sure we did not let any twaddle slip in. Sure it is not tons of stuff, but they certainly don't need tons of stuff either. I felt like we were able to really get our heads together on this. What a blessing! In respect to him, I am not going to press telling the children about Santa. I feel my dh needs to be the one to want to make that change. I will wait on the Lord.
Next, I had a good talk with my sweet mom. She , too, is on board for the Twaddle Free Christmas. She is such a huge blessing to us. She showers us with the best she can give, her time, talents and money. In the past, I have been very excited to have the kids receive all the gifts. It was easy to get caught up in and want that for them. But when I look around my kids rooms, I see all the excess that they don't even really play with, nor can they keep it all organized. I am taking steps to make some big changes in this area. The idea of Christmas coming was stressing me out!
And finally, we have decided to sit out the next session of co-op. That will greatly reduce our stress and expenses. I think it is very wise of my dh to make this suggestion. It will be hard telling my co-op boss. We love co-op. However, I have felt lately that I have not had enough time at home and there are some heart issues with my children that need my full attention. I am praying the Lord will bless this time.
Today when I was reading my Bible, I was reminded that my time is not my own. What does this mean to me today? How will I spend my day? Will I waste valuable time on the computer? Will I allow my children to watch too much TV? What kind of appetites am I allowing in our house? I am feeling conviction to really stop all the worldly influences. If you want to read a very good post on appetites, go to Camilla's blog. Beware, you'll be convicted! It won't happen overnight, but I am asking the Lord to help me in this area. And praying for my husband who needs to lead this effort. I love my family and want them to be less encumbered by the worldliness that so easily entraps me and them. I want my steps to be ordered by the Spirit. I am praying that God will help me know what the verse below means to my life.
"I know, O Lord, that my life is not my own;
It is not for me to direct my steps.
O Lord, correct me, but with justice -
Not in Your anger, lest You reduce me to nothing."
Jeremiah 10:23-24
I love You, O Lord, my strength.
You are my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
You are my rock, in whom I take refuge.
You are my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon You, for You are worthy of praise,
And I am saved from my enemies. (Psalm 18:1-3)
Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
But the one who trusts in You, O Lord, will be
surrounded by Your Lovingkindness. (Psalm 32:10)
Father, let me dedicate, all this year to Thee,
In whatever worldly state Thou wilt have me be:
Not from sorrow, pain or care, freedom dare I claim;
This alone shall be my prayer, glorify Thy Name.
Can a child presume to choose where or how to live?
Can a Father’s love refuse all the best to give?
More Thou givest every day than the best can claim
Nor withholdest aught that may glorify Thy Name.
If in mercy Thou wilt spare joys that yet are mine;
If on life, serene and fair, brighter rays may shine;
Let my glad heart, while it sings, Thee in all proclaim,
And, whate’er the future brings, glorify Thy Name.
If Thou callest to the cross, and its shadow come,
Turning all my gain to loss, shrouding heart and home;
Let me think how Thy dear Son to His glory came,
And in deepest woe pray on, “Glorify Thy Name.”
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain
[1st Chorus]
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
[2nd Chorus 2x]
everybody singing
Holy holy holy
you are holy
you are holy
[2nd Chorus 2x]
Today I found out that an old acquaintance of mine, a godly 38 year old woman, has stage 4 ovarian cancer. There has been a lot of "rain" in my life, parents divorcing, my only sister dying, top the list. Somehow I have managed to praise Jesus through the rain. But I have not had to face this type of trial personally. To be honest, it frightens me and I think about it too much at times. My hope is that I would be able to sing this song if I got a bad test result or if someone I loved dearly did. I love this song by Mercy Me. I want to be able to sing it and mean it. Oh, but it is so hard.
Have mercy on Charity, Lord. Grant her peace. Your will be done.
Amen.
If you come across this blog and have a moment, I'd appreciate your prayers :
1. Pray that I will love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul.
2. Pray that I can be the godly wife that my husband deserves. Pray that I'd use my time wisely. That I'd build him up. That I'd spend money carefully and make the most of what he provides.
3. Pray that my 9 year old son's heart will soften towards others, especially his family. I am really getting worn out by his bad attitudes and lack of respect. I don't know what else to do except for to pray. Most likely, I will be praying this same prayer for a long time for this child. He is going to have to learn things the hard way, like the rest of us!
4. Pray that I will grow in self-control. Pray that I would desire to be a woman of moderation.
5. Pray that I will trust the Lord to provide. I fret over things that never come to pass or end up working out in a way that is manageable. Why do I fret?
Thank you and if you have a prayer request, I'd be glad to pray for you. Just let me know.
Jenn
Leviticus 20:26 says, "You must be holy because I, the LORD, am holy. I have set you apart from all other people to be my very own." This blog is my place to remember this journey I am on and God's goodness to me. I am glad you are here. Welcome to my blog.
