STRUCTURE

When we are on our 'A' game, and there is a plan in place, and the boys know exactly what we are doing and what is expected of them, they thrive.  They love to help with chores when they know ahead of time that we will be doing that.  If I just pull them from an activity to help, I get resistance.  So, I try to provide them with a plan for the day and we suffer if there isn't one.

Also, I  make sure that we read stories that build character and provide opportunities to talk about virtues and character.  We also role-model appropriate behavior and it is very endearing to see the kids play on their own mimicking what I am hoping to teach them.

I also try for every negative thing I say to counter with at least two positives in a reasonable timeframe.  You can see their chests swell when they are acknowledged for a job well done, or an appropriate behavior witnessed.

It's such a balancing act on so many levels, but so worth it.