Jul. 3, 2009 Thoughts on Fiction--Reading and Writing it from a Christian Perspective
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Hi, everyone! I know it's been a while—that's just the way my blog is going to be. If I planned to post regularly every week, I'd find myself writing rather random and sometimes meaningless articles, which wouldn't be fun for either of us. *Grin* So I just wait until I get a bee in my bonnet, and go from there.
Well, today I've been thinking about—guess what? Fiction! This post may be a little bit rabbit-trail-ish, but I hope you enjoy it.
If you've read through my blog at all, you'll know that I like to read popular books and analyze them. With the past few popular books, I haven't been very impressed. There are a lot of themes and ideas mixed into Twilight, Harry Potter, and Eragon that I don't agree with. But especially with J.K. And Stephanie, one thing that did impress me was their writing.
And that's why they're so popular. Even many Christians who disagree with the author's worldview read and love these books because they are very engaging. Christians read them, and at the least, sort of shrug. “Oh, well—yeah, I see the problems, but I still REALLY LIKE the characters!” Or something like that.
My question is this: Why isn't it the same way with Christian books? Why don't non-christians say, “Yeah, I know they have weird ideas, but the book is GREAT anyways!”
Well, there are two reasons, and they are somewhat intertwined.
The first one is, well, writing! I've heard stories about authors who never re-write because they, “got this story straight from God.” Well, first of all, that isn't entirely wrong, because everything we have comes from God, so undoubtedly, so do the stories we write! But if I'm not mistaken, even preachers have to learn how to preach. Some Christian authors have awesome messages, but never took the time to learn how to present them. It's kind of funny how this works. The writing, story, and characters have to be the first priority, otherwise the true first priority, the theme, means nothing. The people who need to hear the message won't come near it because it isn't presented well, and the people who already believe it have nothing to gain from the book. And that leads right into my next reason.
Even if an author's writing is good, if they spend too much time trying to emphasize a theme, they are actually taking away from it.
This is really only another application of the old rule, “Show, don't tell.” If an author wants to emphasize forgiveness in their story, he or she should have their character learn the lesson through actions and happenings—not have him sit and listen to a pages-long lecture on the subject. If a non-Christian won't go to church and listen to a sermon, why would he take the time to read one in the middle of a novel? This is much more subtle, and in my opinion, more effective for a writer.
Take the classic authors, for example. People like Dickens and Austen, and the Bronte sisters. All of these were Christians, and their books definitely teach godly principles! But even non-Christians enjoy them. Because really, you don't have to try to put your views into a novel. They get there by themselves, and to try and underline them is to make them too obvious, and so spoil their effect.
Those are, in my opinion, two huge problems with many Christian authors today. I think this might be the beginning of a series on writing tips. Because once you emphasize a problem, you have to find a way—or let someone else find a way—to fix it. Otherwise it's just being pessimistic. And I have been accused of that before. *Grin*
What do you think?
God bless,
~The Rose
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May. 15, 2009 STLP31 (Striving to Live Proverbs 31)
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Last night, there were a lot of dishes piled up next to the sink.
A lot. And it was 9:00—a half-hour past bedtime. Plates and silverware from dinner, a cutting board covered in rock-hard dough remnants, the salad bowl, at least two dirty pots, and the dirty trays we'd used to bake pizza. Oh, and I'm fairly certain there was at least one colendar to rinse out. Maybe it doesn't sound like a lot, but trust me, tired eyes make wonderful magnifying glasses, and an, “ugh,” rose in my heart.
I rinsed. I scrubbed. I wiped. I scrubbed. I scrubbed. I scrubbed. Goodness—those dough remnants WOULD NOT come off!
Well, I started thinking about the article on Willfulness I'd just written a couple of days earlier. For me, willfulness often makes itself manifest in grumpy thoughts—the opposite of a servant's heart. So then that got me thinking about Proverbs 31, and how industrious she was, and I thought: what part of Proverbs 31 can be applied to what I'm doing right now?
And you know what? That helped me. Standing there, picking the dough off with my fingernails and exhausting my supply of elbow-grease, I was helped by thinking, “She girds herself with strength—she makes her arms strong,” and, “She works willingly with her hands.” It reminded me that a virtuous woman, who's price is far above jewels, does exactly what I was doing, and does it with a truly humble, willing spirit. This is how I work my way as close to that woman as I can get, and this how I try to please the Lord.
So after being uplifted, I thought I'd share with you all, and encourage you to think about whatever task you might not be enjoying at the moment in the light of Proverbs 31. |
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May. 9, 2009 Vision Forum Giveaway!
Come one, come all!
(Have I used that before? Oh, well...)
kimc at Life in a Shoe is having a giveaway!
Follow the link and comment on which DVD from the Vision Forum, "Reclaiming the Culture," set you'd like to have most. Also, you get to vote on whether you'd like the giveaway to be all fourteen DVDs for one winner, or one DVD each for fourteen winners. And yes, you do get an extra entry for blogging about it. *Grin*
Come and see! |
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May. 6, 2009 Teddy Roosevelt on American Motherhood
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I love old books.
I love their look, their musty smell, and just the feeling that runs up my arm when I open one. It's almost like every one of the book's memories since the publishing all wait, enclosed in the pages, and fly out to greet me at once. Yes, books have memories. Take my word for it. (I hate to think of that Nancy Drew I once dropped in the toilet by accident—it probably has arthritis now, and grimaces every time it thinks of me.)
So when, shortly after Christmas, Mom casually mentioned a box of old books she'd found at a yard sale, my ears perked up.
“What? Huh? Old books?” I asked, sitting up straight.
“Yeah. Dad doesn't want 'em—doesn't like their smell,” she replied. “I wanted to give them to you for Christmas, but he said they were too old for a Christmas present.”
I almost yelped. Too old for a Christmas present? “Where are they?”
“Under the window, next to my bed. Go take a look. You can have them.”
I immediately got up and went to the bedroom. I don't remember if I walked unusually slow, trying not to let my legs match the speed of my heartbeat, or if I just didn't care and dashed. Whichever it was, I found the box and carried it back into the living room. There were ten books, all part of a series. I picked one up. My arms trembled—or if they didn't, my heart certainly did.
“THE WORLD'S FAMOUS ORATIONS
William Jennings Bryan
Editor-In-Chief,”
it said on the cover. “Vol. V: Great Britain III.”
There was one on Rome, one on Greece, Ireland, Four on Britain, and three on America, all filled with speeches—from Winston Churchill to King Phillip of King Phillip's War.
“Dad didn't like the smell?” I breathed. “These are treasures!”
Then I opened to the copyright date.
1906.
“These are one hundred and three years old!” I gasped in delight.
I spent the rest of the afternoon shuffling books around in my room to make space for them.
Here is a gem I found in one of the volumes from America. It's a little lengthy, but SO SO worth it. Can you imagine a modern president saying these things?
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On American Motherhood
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Theodore Roosevelt (1858–1919)
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(1905)
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IN 1 our modern industrial civilization there are many and grave dangers to counterbalance the splendors and the triumphs. It is not a good thing to see cities grow at disproportionate speed relatively to the country; for the small land owners, the men who own their little homes, and therefore to a very large extent the men who till farms, the men of the soil, have hitherto made the foundation of lasting national life in every State; and, if the foundation becomes either too weak or too narrow, the superstructure, no matter how attractive, is in imminent danger of falling.
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But far more important than the question of the occupation of our citizens is the question of how their family life is conducted. No matter what that occupation may be, as long as there is a real home and as long as those who make up that home do their duty to one another, to their neighbors and to the State, it is of minor consequence whether the man’s trade is plied in the country of in the city, whether it calls for the work of the hands or for the work of the head.
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No piled-up wealth, no splendor of material growth, no brilliance of artistic development, will permanently avail any people unless its home life is healthy, courage, common sense, and decency, unless he works hard and is willing at need to fight hard; and unless the average woman is a good wife, a good mother, able and willing to perform the first and greatest duty of womanhood, able and willing to bear, and to bring up as they should be brought up, healthy children, sound in body, mind, and character, and numerous enough so that the race shall increase and not decrease.
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There are certain old truths which will be true as long as this world endures, and which no amount of progress can alter. One of these is the truth that the primary duty of the husband is to be the home-maker, the breadwinner for his wife and children, and that the primary duty of the woman is to be the helpmate, the housewife, and mother. The woman should have ample educational advantages; but save in exceptional cases the man must be, and she need not be, and generally ought not to be, trained for a lifelong career as the family breadwinner; and, therefore, after a certain point, the training of the two must normally be different because the duties of the two are normally different. This does not mean inequality of function, but it does mean that normally there must be dissimilarity of function. On the whole, I think the duty of the woman the more important, the more difficult, and the more honorable of the two; on the whole I respect the woman who does her duty even more that I respect the man who does his.
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No ordinary work done by a man is either as hard or as responsible as the work of a woman who is bringing up a family of small children; for upon her time and strength demands are made not only every hour of the day but often every hour of the night. She may have to get up night after night to take care of a sick child, and yet must by day continue to do all her household duties as well; and if the family means are scant she must usually enjoy even her rare holidays taking her whole brood of children with her. The birth pangs make all men the debtors of all women. Above all our sympathy and regard are due to the struggling wives among those whom Abraham Lincoln called the plain people, and whom he so loved and trusted; for the lives of these women are often led on the lonely heights of quiet, self-sacrificing heroism.
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Just as the happiest and more honorable and most useful task that can be set any man is to earn enough for the support of his wife and family, for the bringing up and starting in life of his children, so the most important, the most honorable and desirable task which can be set any woman is to be a good and wise mother in a home marked by self-respect and mutual forbearance, by willingness to perform duty, and by refusal to sink into self-indulgence or avoid that which entails effort and self-sacrifice. Of course there are exceptional men and exceptional women who can do and ought to do much more than this, who can lead and ought to lead great careers of outside usefulness in addition to—not as substitutes for—their home work; but I am not speaking of exceptions; I am speaking of the primary duties, I am speaking of the average citizens, the average men and women who make up the nation.
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Inasmuch as I am speaking to an assemblage of mothers, I shall have nothing whatever to say in praise of an easy life. Yours is the work which is never ended. No mother has an easy time, the most mothers have very hard times; and yet what true mother would barter her experience of joy and sorrow in exchange for a life of cold selfishness, which insists upon perpetual amusement and the avoidance of care, and which often finds its fit dwelling place in some flat designed to furnish with the least possible expenditure of effort the maximum of comfort and of luxury, but in which there is literally no place for children?
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The woman who is a good wife, a good mother, is entitled to our respect as is no one else; but she is entitled to it only because, and so long as, she is worthy of it. Effort and self-sacrifice are the law of worthy life for the man as for the woman; tho neither the effort nor the self-sacrifice may be the same for the one as for the other. I do not in the least believe in the patient Griselda type of woman, in the woman who submits to gross and long continued ill treatment, any more than I believe in a man who tamely submits to wrongful aggression. No wrong-doing is so abhorrent as wrong-doing by a man toward the wife and children who should arouse every tender feeling in his nature. Selfishness toward them, lack of tenderness toward them, lack of consideration for them, above all, brutality in any form toward them, should arouse the heartiest scorn and indignation in every upright soul.
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I believe in the woman keeping her self-respect just as I believe in the man doing so. I believe in her rights just as much as I believe in the man’s, and indeed a little more; and I regard marriage as a partnership, in which each partner is in honor bound to think of the rights of the other as well as of his or her own. But I think that the duties are even more important than the rights; and in the long run I think that the reward is ampler and greater for duty well done, than for the insistence upon individual rights, necessary tho this, too, must often be. Your duty is hard, your responsibility great; but greatest of all is your reward. I do not pity you in the least. On the contrary, I feel respect and admiration for you.
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Into the woman’s keeping is committed the destiny of the generations to come after us. In bringing up your children you mothers must remember that while it is essential to be loving and tender it is no less essential to be wise and firm. Foolishness and affection must not be treated as interchangeable terms; and besides training your sons and daughters in the softer and milder virtues, you must seek to give them those stern and hardy qualities which in after life they will surely need. Some children will go wrong in spite of the best training; and some will go right even when their surroundings are most unfortunate; nevertheless an immense amount depends upon the family training. If you mothers through weakness bring up your sons to be selfish and to think only of themselves, you will be responsible for much sadness among the women who are to be their wives in the future. If you let your daughters grow up idle, perhaps under the mistaken impression that as you yourselves have had to work hard they shall know only enjoyment, you are preparing them to be useless to others and burdens to themselves. Teach boys and girls alike that they are not to look forward to lives spent in avoiding difficulties, but to lives spent in overcoming difficulties. Teach them that work, for themselves and also for others, is not a curse but a blessing; seek to make them happy, to make them enjoy life, but seek also to make them face life with the steadfast resolution to wrest success from labor and adversity, and to do their whole duty before God and to man. Surely she who can thus train her sons and her daughters is thrice fortunate among women.
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There are many good people who are denied the supreme blessing of children, and for these we have the respect and sympathy always due to those who, from no fault of their own, are denied any of the other great blessings of life. But the man or woman who deliberately foregoes these blessings, whether from viciousness, coldness, shallow-heartedness, self-indulgence, or mere failure to appreciate aright the difference between the all-important and the unimportant,—why, such a creature merits contempt as hearty as any visited upon the soldier who runs away in battle, or upon the man who refuses to work for the support of those dependent upon him, and who tho able-bodied is yet content to eat in idleness the bread which others provide.
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The existence of women of this type forms one of the most unpleasant and unwholesome features of modern life. If any one is so dim of vision as to fail to see what a thoroughly unlovely creature such a woman is I wish they would read Judge Robert Grant’s novel “Unleavened Bread,” ponder seriously the character of Selma, and think of the fate that would surely overcome any nation which developed its average and typical woman along such lines. Unfortunately it would be untrue to say that this type exists only in American novels. That it also exists in American life is made unpleasantly evident by the statistics as to the dwindling families in some localities. It is made evident in equally sinister fashion by the census statistics as to divorce, which are fairly appalling; for easy divorce is now as it ever has been, a bane to any nation, a curse to society, a menace to the home, an incitement to married unhappiness and to immorality, an evil thing for men and a still more hideous evil for women. These unpleasant tendencies in our American life are made evident by articles such as those which I actually read not long ago in a certain paper, where a clergyman was quoted, seemingly with approval, as expressing the general American attitude when he said that the ambition of any save a very rich man should be to rear two children only, so as to give his children an opportunity “to taste a few of the good things of life.”
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This man, whose profession and calling should have made him a moral teacher, actually set before others the ideal, not of training children to do their duty, not of sending them forth with stout hearts and ready minds to win triumphs for themselves and their country, not of allowing them the opportunity, and giving them the privilege of making their own place in the world, but, forsooth, of keeping the number of children so limited that they might “taste a few good things!” The way to give a child a fair chance in life is not to bring it up in luxury, but to see that it has the kind of training that will give it strength of character. Even apart from the vital question of national life, and regarding only the individual interest of the children themselves, happiness in the true sense is a hundredfold more apt to come to any given member of a healthy family of healthy-minded children, well brought up, well educated, but taught that they must shift for themselves, must win their own way, and by their own exertions make their own positions of usefulness, than it is apt to come to those whose parents themselves have acted on and have trained their children to act on, the selfish and sordid theory that the whole end of life is to “taste a few good things.”
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The intelligence of the remark is on a par with its morality; for the most rudimentary mental process would have shown the speaker that if the average family in which there are children contained but two children the nation as a whole would decrease in population so rapidly that in two or three generations it would very deservedly be on the point of extinction, so that the people who had acted on this base and selfish doctrine would be giving place to others with braver and more robust ideals. Nor would such a result be in any way regrettable; for a race that practised such doctrine—that is, a race that practised race suicide—would thereby conclusively show that it was unfit to exist, and that it had better give place to people who had not forgotten the primary laws of their being.
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To sum up, then, the whole matter is simple enough. If either a race or an individual prefers the pleasure of more effortless ease, of self-indulgence, to the infinitely deeper, the infinitely higher pleasures that come to those who know the toil and the weariness, but also the joy, of hard duty well done, why, that race or that individual must inevitably in the end pay the penalty of leading a life both vapid and ignoble. No man and no woman really worthy of the name can care for the life spent solely or chiefly in the avoidance of risk and trouble and labor. Save in exceptional cases the prizes worth having in life must be paid for, and the life worth living must be a life of work for a worthy end, and ordinarily of work more for others than for one’s self.
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The woman’s task is not easy—no task worth doing is easy—but in doing it, and when she has done it, there shall come to her the highest and holiest joy known to mankind; and having done it, she shall have the reward prophesied in Scripture; for her husband and her children, yes, and all people who realize that her work lies at the foundation of all national happiness and greatness, shall rise up and call her blessed.
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Note 1. From his speech in Washington on March 13, 1905, before the National Congress of Mothers. Printed from a copy furnished by the president for this collection, in response to a request. [back]
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Mar. 24, 2009 An Amazing Giveaway
I love aprons.
Aprons help me get into the homemaking mood. Sometimes I'll be finishing up my schoolwork and Mom will call me to come help her in the kitchen, fold towels and napkins, or do whatever needs doing. If I get up and go wash dishes in my snow-white top and bright polka-dotted skirt, even if I am doing it willingly, there is a tiny part of my brain that's saying, "Don't dirty my top. Don't mess up my skirt," as I wash, and it prevents me from putting my whole heart into the job. I find that when I put on an apron, that little voice goes away, and my attitude changes, because I'm equipped and ready. I love drying my hands on my apron, carrying things in my apron, looking down and seeing flour on my apron, smoothing my apron down, etc. etc. It helps me get into the mood and focus on what I need to do, rather than my clothes.
Well, there are four sisters who have stumbled upon an amazing idea. They have put together sets of adorable fabrics, and created their own apron patterns, and are selling them to emphasize the fact that Titus Two Women don't need to be frumps! The mix is beautiful, and what's more beautiful is the fact that at hearthmanagement.com
they are having a giveaway of one apron--you choose the style and fabric! I am so excited. Come and see if you can win a gorgeous apron!
God bless! |
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Mar. 17, 2009 Yes, I Read Twilight, And Here's My Opinion of it...
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EEEEEEWWW!
So. Let me specify.
First of all, I have to say that Stephanie Meyers writes very well, and her character creation is very good. I admire that very much.
Now, on to why I did not like the book.
1. Good vampires
This is the thing that I knew I wouldn't like about the book even before I read it. In my family, we don't appreciate it when authors/movie makers/etc. take creatures or symbols that have been evil in the christian culture for centuries, and make them righteous.
Isaiah 5:20:
"Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil, who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter!"
I believe that authors are very subtly doing just this, in the way they twist the symbolism in their stories. Vampires have always been evil. I searched them on Wikipedia, and skimmed the article. From their origins, hundreds of years ago, they have always been wicked monsters. In fact, in the christian culture, a vampire can be defended against with crosses, and, in Bram Stoker's Dracula, communion "wafers," among other things. Christian symbols.
Why is it that NOW, within the past few years, Vampires, Dragons (especially dragons, because in Revelation God calls Satan a dragon), Witches, Sorcerers, and even Goblins, have been portrayed as the good guys (as our culture shifts towards being less Christian)? I don't agree with this.
2. The Inappropriate Romance
At first, when I heard about the story, I thought Bella was going to be fourteen or fifteen, so I was relieved to find out that she was older. But still, even if I DID believe in having boyfriends or dating, I would still have a huge problem with Edward SPENDING THE NIGHT in her BED with her, not to mention other major physical contact throughout the book. Lots of kissing and really close stuff. Oh, and by the way, isn't it interesting that Edward says he doesn't think that getting married would work? There is something wrong with that picture. AND, all of this is done without parental guidance, which brings me to my next point.
3. Deceit
Throughout the whole book, Bella is majorly tricking her parents and lying to them. Her father doesn't even KNOW she's friends with Edward at the time of the *ahem* sleepover. And when he comes to check on her, Edward hides until he's gone. None of this is portrayed as bad--actually, it comes across as good! Because we all know that parents are just oblivious, stupid people. Um, not. Moving on...
4. Stupid Adults
That pretty much sums it up. I HATE HATE HATE books that make the kids the savvy, smart ones, and the adults (especially parents) the stupid, oblivious, clumsy ones who have no idea what's going on, and wouldn't be able to comprehend it it even if they were told. Either that or they are evil. This theme is EVERYWHERE today.
I'm not saying that adults are never stupid, and I'm not saying that children should never under any extreme rebel against their parents, because I know that is sometimes (if the parents are going AGAINST God's Word) unavoidable. Neither am I saying that children should not be portrayed as smart. But fictional parents in GENERAL nowadays are being shown as dumb, and despised by the all-knowing children, and that contradicts the fifth commandment. Adults are, in fact, usually much wiser than children, and are given to us to instruct us and guide us through our learning years. We should honor that, and Twilight doesn't.
5. Idolatry
Bella worships Edward. She idolizes him above everything and everyone else. In her eyes, he is perfection. In reality, God is the only perfection, and He is who we worship.
So there is my Twilight rant. Please tell me what you think.
God bless,
Hannah
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Mar. 11, 2009 Louisa May Alcott: Feminist?
Louisa May Alcott is one of my very favorite authors. In fact, if I had to name one book above all others that I treasure, Little Women would be the one. Eight Cousins, Rose in Bloom and An Old Fashioned Girl are also wonderful books by her that I love. But when I tell people this, they often say, "Wasn't she a feminist?"
So, here is my opinion. I don't agree with everything she promotes. But Louisa May Alcott, I have realized, was reacting to a certain type of female character that was very common in her day. The kind that wore suffocating corsets, highly unpractical ruffles, flounces, and heels, "puffed and frizzled," their hair, and were taught to be flirty, fainting, not-good-for-much, women. Girls flirted, married hastily, or for the wrong reasons, and then got to sit back and be miserable in the house all day for the rest of their lives. She saw what was wrong with this, and knew that a real woman was supposed to be strong and able as well as feminine. I think she got some things wrong, especially as she got older (I don't like Jo's Boys because all of the children have some amazing talent like acting or painting, and they have to go and get the very best training and have a career in that instead of using it in the home) but that was as a reaction to something else that was wrong. I think some of her feminism looks a lot like my anti-feminism.
Sometimes Louisa May says one thing, but then the way the story works out teaches a different message. In Rose In Bloom, she comes down on the men somewhat in the beginning, but then Rose ends up marrying and having a happy home at the end, revealing what Louisa May really believed in.
In closing, here is one of my favorite quotes from Little Women, by Marmee.
"'I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good. To be admired, loved, and respected. To have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it, Meg, right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world, marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting. Money is a needful and precious thing, and when well used, a noble thing, but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace.'
'Poor girls don't stand any chance, Belle says, unless they put themselves forward,' sighed Meg.
'Then we'll be old maids,' said Jo stoutly.
'Right, Jo. Better be happy old maids than unhappy wives, or unmaidenly girls, running about to find husbands, said Mrs. March decidedly. Don't be troubled, Meg, poverty seldom daunts a sincere lover. Some of the best and most honored women I know were poor girls, but so love-worthy that they were not allowed to be old maids. Leave these things to time. Make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered you, and contented here if they are not. One thing remember, my girls. Mother is always ready to be your confidante, Father to be your friend, and both of hope and trust that our daughters, whether married or single, will be the pride and comfort of out lives.'"
Are those the words of a feminist?
So there's a rant for you.
Hannah |
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Feb. 23, 2009 Jonathan Park Giveaway! Come one, come all...
Dear privileged few who read my blog,
Hello! I am popping in today to let you all know about a fabulous giveaway hosted by the C. family at inashoe.com
(copy and paste please--I'm having trouble making it a link).
By following the directions named on their site, you can get one whole 4-CD, 12-episode creation science drama series...and set yourself up for lots more freebies, and maybe even a giveaway if you blog about it. Go check it out, please!
the Jonathan Park audio drama episodes have been favorites in my family for years. It focuses on two families as they tumble into adventures large and small, and learn a lot about God's creation. The creation science is woven into the action very well--I can guarantee, you'll learn a lot!
God bless,
The Rose
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Feb. 12, 2009 Why I Wear Skirts
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If you've read the last few posts of mine, you'll know that I love to be exact. I love to get the exact definition, read the exact verse, figure out what the exact meaning is, and make sure it all fits together exactly.
Today's post is going to be a little different, simply because I am discussing something that isn't talked about in the Bible a whole lot. It is the subject of much confusion in the world. Some people write long articles, going back to the Greek and Hebrew roots of every word, trying to prove their case. Believe me, I've thought about doing that. Because if I have a good reason for a certain decision, why doesn't everyone else think it's pretty good too?
The problem is, God didn't always give us exact commands. He often gave us very general guidelines, leaving the freedom for us to make choices that vary from household to household. This is one of those instances. So today, I am going to share my personal reasons for wearing skirts.
First, let's look the one verse that is the center of all of the kafuffle.
Deuteronomy 22:5:
“A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”
This is a theme that we find often in scripture—dating back from the very beginning. Man and Woman were created differently, with different roles, and God wants them to look different too. I won't write down all of the verses that uphold this theme, because there are so, so many. I heard someone refer to men and women as complimentary. Complimentary colors look wonderful together, yet they are distinct from each other. I think this is a good analogy.
The idea of masculinity and femininity is ingrained into our hearts. When you hear the word “Feminine” what do you think of? What about “Masculine?” I'm willing to bet that they're different. In very general terms, my idea of masculinity is bold and hardy, femininity, soft and pretty.
So even if it is a general idea, everyone pretty much knows what feminine means, and what masculine means.
Another important thing that I consider is modesty, because there is a lot out there that is feminine, and not modest—or modest, and not feminine.
1 Timothy 2:9a:
“...likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control...”
Modesty is hard too, because again, mostly God doesn't give us exact boundaries.
In summary, the two general things that God does require in scripture for women in terms of clothing are modesty and femininity.
So, why have I chosen skirts above pants in my persuit of these traits?
(It goes without being said that many many skirts are immodest. They are either too tight, or too short—or both—or the way they are shaped emphasizes certain points on our figures that really don't need to be emphasized. When I say “skirts,” as opposed to pants, I am not talking about that kind.)
~Shape
I think that pants are just really hard to figure out. Yes, they can be feminine. Yes, they can be modest. But can they be both at the same time? I'm not sure.
Think about it. Women's pants are cut to flatter a woman's figure. If I saw a man wearing women's pants, I'd know it, and I'd be disgusted. So they are feminine. But in my opinion, women's pants are too revealing of the thigh/rear area. I know I feel exposed in them. So I go to the looser pants, but as they get looser, they start working towards the men's section, and that isn't what I want either. Pants are really hard to get right.
Here's an idea I love the look of, and am hoping to be able to try soon. In my opinion, it is both modest and feminine, while wearing pants at the same time.
I would get some cute women's pants or capris, and either wear a tunic, or a dress that would be too short without anything under it. I personally favor the dress idea because I think it would probably be more tailored, and there are so many dresses that are made of adorable fabric, but they're just too short! I see them all the time at the thrift store, and always wish I had something I could do with them. I can't wait to try this out!
~History
This is definitely not the first reason, but as an old-fashioned kind of girl, I tend to lean towards skirts because it was the feminists who first brought women's pants into the scene. I, of course, don't advocate pounds of undergarments and suffocating corsets, as was the style during the women's suffrage period, but nowadays, skirts are easier than they have been for a long time, and maybe ever.
As a side note, many people who think it is weird to wear skirts all the time, call those who do, “Prairie Muffins,” and similar terms, indicating that it's frumpy, and that we need to get out of the past and live in the 21st century. I'd like to say two things. One, skirts don't have to be frumpy. Many are beautiful—and I have yet to see a pair of pants that made me go, “Ooh! Those are gorgeous!” as skirts and dresses certainly have. (Cute and flattering, yes—just not gorgeous.) One just has to use good taste and learn about which styles suit her figure. Two, about the Prairie Muffin thing, I'd like to say that, though we don't want to go back and exactly copy history, we do want to learn from the mistakes, and seek to imitate the godly examples (of course, adapting to our time-period as needed). Personally, I'd rather imitate an older part of history that we know to be a blessed and godly era, than be “in style” and imitate a culture that is becoming more and more secular every day.
~Personal preference
Skirts are pretty! Skirts flow, skirts twirl, and even if they aren't the only feminine attire to be worn, skirts in this era are a unique women's garment. I love pretty skirts, because they're girly and they make me feel like a princess. Skirts say, “Yes! God made me a woman, and I love it.” I believe that, and I want to say it with the clothes that I wear.
So, while I don't believe that pants in general are to be shunned or avoided, I think there are certain things we can do to make them more modest, while staying feminine at the same time—and vice versa—and I think that lots of skirts do a pretty good job of being those things anyways, so I might as well wear them. :-)
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Dec. 21, 2008 I don't know how to link on the sidebar yet... Dec. 21, 2008 Honor? What does that mean?
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Continuing on the theme of relating to parents...
“Obey your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
Right? I mean, even if that's not the exact wording, that's what honor pretty much means. Remember, back when we were little, and our parents quizzed us on what it meant to honor our parents? What was always our answer? “Obey.” And what did Mom and Dad say? “Yes, that's right—very good!”
So what's the big deal?
Let's start by flipping open our bibles to Exodus 20. Verse 12:
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”
Well, it's pretty clear that the verse does say “Honor.” Before we go further, though, I'd like to look at the New Testament—for good measure.
Ephesians 6:1-3:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' (this is the first commandment with a promise), 'that is may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'”
Obviously, the bible connects and overlaps the two ideas. So, why am I writing this blog post, anyways? Cuz it's looking sort of random and pointless so far.
Stick with me here. If I've got my facts right (and I may have them wrong, so if someone sees an error in this statement please let me know), Toyota Corollas are cars. Am I straight so far? From what I hear, they're good cars, too. But I don't think anyone will argue with me when I say that all cars are not Toyota Corollas. They're connected; they overlap. But 'car' and 'Toyota Corolla' are not exact synonyms that can be replaced by each other always. They're not exactly the same thing.
Here is my concern. When you hear the fifth commandment, it is really easy to say,
“Sure—I come when my parents call me; I do what they tell me to do. I don't yell at them, and I don't smash their things. Yeah, I honor my parents just fine.”
My recent theory has been that perhaps it actually isn't that simple. Perhaps we're saying we know cars inside-out, when really all we're familiar with is the Toyota Corolla. So if you'll be patient with me, I'd like to explore and see what we can find on this issue.
The first logical question that comes up at this point is, “Well, what does the word 'honor' mean?”
Urgh...mmm...rrrah!
Sorry—I was lifting my Webster's 1828 off of the shelf. It's a little hefty.
Okay—here it is. I'm going to read all six definitions, so that we can get a really good picture of what honor means.
“Honor:
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To revere; To respect; to treat with deference and submission, and perform relative duties to.
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To reverence; to manifest the highest veneration for, in words and actions; to entertain the most exalted thoughts of; to worship; to adore.
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To dignify; to raise to distinction of notice, to elevate in rank or station; to exalt. Men are sometimes honored with titles and offices, which they do not merit.
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To glorify; to render illustrious.
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To treat with due civility and respect in the ordinary intercourse of life.
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In commerce, to accept and pay when due; as, to honor a bill of exchange.”
Wow. Let's go through those one by one.
1. “To revere; to respect; to treat with deference and submission, and perform relative duties to.”
a) To revere.
What does 'revere' mean, then? Oh, goody—more Webster's! Let's look it up.
“Revere:
To regard with fear mingled with respect and affection; to venerate; to reverence; to honor estimation.”
Hmm. Maybe this means that we should fear our parents in terms of discipline—fear doing wrong, because we don't want to be punished, or make them mad. But we want to mingle that with respect and affection. Respect ties in with the last post. Look at them, and see the qualities that you admire. My father wakes up early every morning, drives to work in the dark, spends his day striving to teach unruly middle-school children, and comes home sometimes late in the evening, dead tired. For me; for my mom; for my brothers. Is that not worthy of respect? My mother gave birth to me, took care of me, and did everything for me as a baby, stayed home and taught me herself, so that I would grow up with a strong biblical foundation. And she is still doing it—for me and my six brothers. Is that not worthy, friends, of amazing respect?
And we need to love them for it too. Affection. Hugs, kisses, sharing friendship. Folks, everyone needs hugs, no matter how old (or what gender) you are—and even if you think you don't, I'm telling you now, your mom does. Affection is all of the little things we do every day to show that we care about people. Smile when you bring your mom a drink, or when you carry your dad's stuff in from the car. Ask about how their day went. Give meaningful gifts, even if they are not expensive. This is all part of affection—and only part, too. There is lots more you can do to be affectionate.
b) To respect.
We pretty much covered that already, but I'll expand a little bit. Respect means, according to the third definition in my trusty Websters:
“To view or consider with some degree of reverence; to esteem as possessed with real worth.”
I love that definition. In our culture, even if we generally do what our parents tell us to do, we forget how much they actually are worth, and how much they do for us. We shuffle our feet as we walk by, we answer questions in monosyllables, and we don't even look them in the face. We get away from them as fast as we can, because either we're embarrassed of them, we're angry with them, or we're under pressure from other peers. Do any of those reasons look like the definitions of honor we've seen so far? I don't think so. Treasure your parents.
c)To treat with deference and submission.
Deference is like respect In a lot of ways, but mostly I think in the outer form as opposed to the inner attitude. To defer means to yield—to opinions, to their superior “rank,” or to whatever they want you to do. Obeying is very much included in this. Note that stomping off and sitting bed for an hour before doing what Mom told you to do doesn't look much like yielding—even if you do eventually do the chore. Let your parents pass by first when your paths cross ways, let your parents speak first without interruption (unless necessary), and in decision making, let them have the first say. This leads right into Submission, which is also yielding, and obeying. Your parents are in charge of you. AND they have your best interest at heart. EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T THINK SO. They have reasons you may not even dream of for making the decisions that they do, or telling you what they need you to do. So just trust them, and obey. Submit.
2. “To reverence; to manifest the highest veneration for, in words and actions; to entertain the most exalted thoughts of; to worship; to adore.”
Definition 2. is mostly reserved for the worship of God, so we'll move on—but still, be sure and read it. We need to learn how to honor God too.
3. “To dignify; to raise to distinction of notice, to elevate in rank or station; to exalt. Men are sometimes honored with titles and offices, which they do not merit.”
a) To dignify.
If you please, Mr. Webster?
“Dignify: To invest with honor or dignity; to exalt in rank; to promote; to elevate to a high office.” OR
“To honor, to make illustrious; to distinguish by some excellence, or that which gives celebrity.”
Wow—friends, this is big. It means that honoring our parents is not only how we treat them, but how we represent them to others. WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR PARENTS' REPUTATIONS. People look at us to find out about our parents. We may NOT
*complain to others about our parents
*make our parents look silly or embarrass them in public
*expound on all of the things we AREN'T allowed to do because “Dad won't let me.”
In contrast, we should be
*Gushing to others about our parents and what they have done for us—and wonderful things about them
*Striving to save them embarrassment on our account
*If you must mention that you aren't allowed to do something, don't whine about it. Either try to explain why your parents have chosen this position, or wait until later when you can ask them about it (respectfully!) and try to get a feel for the reasons that they have decided to do things this way. Note that it is not their obligation to tell you all of their reasons for things. But really, your parents do want you to understand how important it is, and if you show a willingness to submit and be humble about it, then often they will be more than happy to let you know at least a couple of reasons. :-) I know my parents are.
*Being ladylike or gentlemanly in public shows other people that your parents have raised you correctly. When we are stopped in Sam's Club by some elderly couple who has noticed us, what do they say? Not,
“Wow—your children have done such a good job in disciplining themselves to be polite!”
They say,
“Wow—I want to compliment you [emphasis added] on your well-behaved children. Keep up the good work!”
Even when you aren't directly telling someone about your wonderful parents, you are doing so indirectly when you behave in a correct way. Note that the misbehavior has the opposite effect.
“Oh, dear—that child's parents aren't doing their jobs.”
“Goodness—where is his father?!”
“I wonder if that girl has a mother at home.”
To quote Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin (www.visionarydaughters.com),
“We can either build our parents up, or tear them down.”
God says our job is to build, not destroy.
b) To raise in distinction of notice; to elevate in rank or station
This is pretty similar—again, build them up, don't tear them down. And don't think that you can just be neutral. It isn't possible. If you think you're doing nothing and just being safe and leaving the situation as it is, the probable truth is that you are tearing down without even realizing it.
c) Men are sometimes honored with titles and offices, which they do not merit.
It is better to be looking through rose-colored spectacles in regard to your parents than to be looking through sunglasses. Don't exaggerate or tell lies about them, but if you happen to think that Mom's pie was better than all of the others at the potluck, or that Dad's chicken coop is the coolest even when he only won fourth place, that is so much more beautiful than refusing to eat Mom's pie just because it was hers, or rooting for the other coop because it isn't Dad's.
4. “To glorify; to render illustrious”
a) Pretty much what I just said. Put your parents on a pedestal; don't bury them in a pit.
5. “To treat with due civility and respect in the ordinary course of life”
a) This is complimentary to definition 3. While we shouldn't honor them to their faces and gossip about them behind their backs, NEITHER should we extol our parents in public and neglect to pay them due attention at home, in the ordinary swing of things. In fact, that would be very deceitful and DIShonorable, because it would mean that your public compliments are not genuine, and that you are just praising your parents to other people to really praise yourself for being such a good child. Obviously, it would mean the opposite. You've got to have both. Honor your parents in public AND at home to their faces. Otherwise, neither is legitimate. Don't forget civility at home.
6. “In commerce, to accept and pay when due; as, to honor a bill of exchange.”
a) In commerce, and at home. If you owe your parents something, whether it is work you were given to do, or something you promised, or what God says you owe to them in the bible, PAY IT. Forgetting isn't an option, and neither is just pushing it aside. This is a good definition to close with—it's somewhat like the rule that says, “Obey the rules.” We've been given these responsibilities towards your parents—now we need to go and be responsible with them. Act on them. Believe them. Honor our commitments.
We may point out that we haven't committed to it yet, that we're still thinking it out, or that we need some time still. Guess what? It doesn't matter. Because God committed us to it, by commanding it. And now we've got to honor him by honoring his commandment to honor our parents.
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I hope this little exploration has been beneficial to those who have taken part—I know it has been to me. Who would have thought that one word can mean so much? Please feel free to let me know if you see an error in any of my points—I am open to discussion. God bless you all as you embark on this new quest to really, truly, honor your parents. I'm still working on it too.
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The other day, probably a month ago, I was sitting in my living room watching the bustle of the household. Mom was working in the kitchen, and she was getting stressed about something—or lots of things. Probably lots of things. She was pouring out her woes to dad, and he was listening. Now, Dad had several options open to him at this point. He could have:
a) Answered by telling her all of his stresses, and letting her know that she wasn't the only one with problems.
b) Argued that it wasn't his fault.
c) Told her that she was stressing out, and that she needed to go cool down before she took care of these issues.
He could have. But he didn't.
What he said was not an unusual thing. I've heard him say it many times before. But I realized that it is not the way in which today's average husband would react. He said,
“Tell me how I can help you.”
He didnt' try to deflect the blame, whether it was his fault or not. He didn't try to hurl the blame right back at her, or at someone else. He very gently and calmly asked how he could help. And as I watched this scene unfold, I realized that is how I want my future husband to be.
What is the moral of this story? Well, being calm and humble in a stressful situation is a priceless character trait that nobody would regret cultivating. But what I really want to stress is the fact that your parents have beatitul character traits too. And some of them they have worked very hard on. I know for a fact that my dad did.
In this day and age, children are taught to see the worst in their parents. They are taught to see their silly habits and their crazy quirks and their faults, and magnify them to themselves, to their friends, and to everyone else in their lives by the way they snub and put them down. Friends, this is NOT God's plan. Proverbs 15:20 says,
“A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son despises his mother.”
I want to challenge any teen who reads this to look at your parents objectively. Search them, and bring their wonderful qualities to light. Everybody is sinful, therefore everybody has faults. But most people have merits too, And I am willing to bet that your parents do as well, if you will look for them. Praise your parents—to themselves and to other people. Instead of laughing and making fun, discuss what you love about them. It is one of the ten commandments, and one that I think is not brought to it's full height often. Exodus 20:12:
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
Blessings,
Rose in the Wilderness
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Dec. 21, 2008 The traditionally boring introduction post...
Greetings, everyone!
I am a homeschooled teenager, daughter to amazing parents, and sister to six younger brothers. I love to read, write, craft, play and listen to music, and worship God.
My title comes from Jo's wish in Louisa May Alcott's "Little Women" to be "surrounded by a wilderness of boys." God has put me in a unique position, and I hope to flourish in it to the best of my ability.
Many blogs are pretty much personal life journals, or places to put family pictures, or just places to goof of with friends. Those are wonderful, but not what I intend for this blog to be. Here I will post my opinions on topics that I have been studying, or have discovered, and that I feel merit discussion.
I will most definitely welcome any comments that are kind (not necessarily agreeing with me, understand).
Please, enjoy!
Blessings,
Rose in the Wilderness |
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