Hey, I'm Laura. Catholic Woman, Wife, Mom, Writer. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Tue, 8 Dec 2009 15:22:00 -0600 Tue, 8 Dec 2009 15:22:00 -0600 Forgive me for reminding you, dear readers, yet again, how close my due date looms. Ahem, *cough - Thirteen Days - cough*, but it's hard to take your mind off it when you waddle like a duck, get heartburn from LOOKING at a cup of coffee, and are having vivid dreams of swaddling, nursing, and forgetting your previously born children at gas stations across the region. Coo coo? Nah, just due date loomin'. Not to worry. But, every time I get to this point, I think there is some cosmic 'to - do' list, and the sooner I can accomplish those mystical "things that must be done" my water will surely break or something. It hasn't proven to be a bad thought, as far as checking a lot of random stuff off my never-ending list. But, it hasn't usually triggered labor.     Still, here is one of those projects that I will now wrap up - I began writing about each of my already-borns' temperaments (click here, or here, for the first two installments on Baz and Jo-Jo), and was reminded while reading a new book (well, new to me, that is) by Mary Ann Budnik, "Raise Happy Children -- Teach them Virtues!", that I had never written about my oldest, Espen. Perhaps that is because Espen and I share the SAME temperament -- and I didn't want to incriminate myself. But again, deferring to (hopefully) impending labor (in around...oh,....say....THIRTEEN DAYS OR SO!!!!!), inhibitions are lost, and incrimination doesn't seem like such a big deal. (Another 'to do' is reconciliation before due date. As far as incrimination is concerned! ha! There are no secrets I can keep from the Lord, so better own up and clean-slate-it. I like going into labor with that just-washed-soul feeling) . Now, onto the temperament.... At this point in his life, I can say with confidence that Espen is of a choleric temperament -- and so am I. I would also say we both tend towards to the secondary temperament of melancholy -- but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I really appreciate the way this book by Budnik lays out the temperaments, using various Catholic/spiritual resources. Under this temperament, a brief description from the book (pg 43): "The choleric child uses both the outer and inner senses, and as such is very gifted. This temperament is energetic and reacts immediately, strongly, and long lastingly. This child tends to live in the future building heroic dreams. Truth, justice and beauty are driving ideals. He is self-reliant, a self-starter, a hard worker with a strong will seeking to excel in nobility and greatness." Other descriptive words: "intelligent...clear, penetrating mind...zeal...affectionate...quickly grasps problems and solutions". But here's the kicker - for both of us - "For [these] reasons, this child will succeed in whatever area he pursues. In the face of [the strong will of this child] others have to bend or break."     Whoa. Yeah. I see Espen clearly in this temperament, with both the positive and negative aspects illuminated. He is intuitive -- using those inward senses. The other night, when he sulkily refused to eat (or even try) part of his dinner, he was sent to his room for a cool-down time, by me. However, raging pregnancy hormones saw me also burst (well, quietly burst) into tears in my room. I didn't want him to feel like it was all his fault (it was one of those days, and his comment was the proverbial straw on this proverbial camel's aching lower back), but he came seeking me out within a few minutes, jumping around and trying to make me laugh, though I don't think he knew for sure if I was crying or not. He is observant of the world around him, people, animals, nature, machines - He is intersted in figuring out how things work, and how he can make them work for him! So, sometimes this involved pushing others' buttons, sometimes it involves thinking up creative games, or ways to do a chore. Though he says he doesn't enjoy touching bugs, he sure touched and observed scores of them this summer - I would shudder to think how many would have been in my house if he DID like them! He is also lately fascinated with Legos, Bakugans, and Transformers, and wants to master each of these in putting together and taking apart. He is also an advanced (for his age, I believe) computer user, and has asked for several "lessons" in Microsoft Publisher, where he makes his own "blog" about Transformers. Energetic? Yeah. No surprise there. But, I think also typical of this temperament, his energy motivates others. I think of a line from "Tommy Boy" with Chris Farley and David Spade (ok, movie is mildly funny, but overall inappropriate. Would not recommend. But, this line, nevertheless, illustrates the point), "He could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves". That's Espen. The downside to that is he is sometimes sneaky, and gets his brothers to do things that aren't quite right, because they get carried away in his excitement. Affectionate - definitely. He, besides being the oldest and understanding more about 'what is about to happen' (yeah, yeah, yeah, again with the baby thing), he is very excited to help and be independent with the baby. He rocks our doll, swaddles it, entertains it, and flocks to any REAL babies we happen to meet. And, the amazing and awesome thing is, Babies Love Espen. They really do.   This is the guy that was absolutely thrilled and delighted with the movie "Cheaper by the Dozen" (new version), and remarked, "Hey, why don't WE have 12 kids! That would be so fun! I could help you with all of 'em, mom and dad!". We had a little 1-yr. old visit us last week, and this sweet little girl is very close to Mommy, and not usually too willing to go to others -- let alone relative strangers. However, Espen helped me care for her, and everytime he was around, she was fine! She smiled and laughed, and reached out her chubby cute 1-yr old arms to him, several times. It was so beautiful. Besides babies, he cuddles his parents, and is very affectionate towards his brothers, and friends. He is a forward thinker, as well -- just as the description notes. He is looking forward to the next thing, always. This can be good or bad. And, I see this in myself, too. Sometimes we build things up, look forward to them, that when they happen, and then when they're over (and it seems fun is over all too soon, at times!) we fail to appreciate the goodness that we just participated in. For both of us, working on being in the present is something needed. Ah, truly, I could go on and on. But, a final thought: Cholerics, I think, not only are confident in themselves, but in others. Espen, with his friends (and many times with his brothers) is just so darn encouraging. He listens carefully to what his friends say, and by his attention and encouragement, they open up and talk to him. People LIKE to be around Espen. He is a natural leader - whether on the playground with complete strangers, or amidst his brothers. He has the gift of charisma, very natural to him. The negative aspects of this temperament: judging too quickly, being headstrong, getting impatient - can be hard to deal with -- and most especially when they rear their ugly little heads in BOTH of us at the same time. Espen in a child that I love dearly, yet realize our alikeness also causes problems from time to time in our relationship. But, that is why I like to revist the information on temperaments from time to time, because I feel they help me become a better parent -- and to also know myself better, and know why I am reacting the way I am to certain things. We all have our pushable 'buttons', don't we?       If there are any other good temperament books to be recommended to me (I'm particularly interested in Catholic/Christian/religious views -- as the history of the temperaments and their study IS religious in nature, actually!) I'd love to hear them. I'll add them to "my List" and, if time in the next 13 days permits, your recommendation may be what sends me into labor! You'd win some sort of prize. Like, coming over to bring me a meal.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/750545/ Tue, 8 Dec 2009 15:22:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/750545/ Life in our little home, doing school, and living our faith day by day hums quite speedily along -- and again, a little less than 3 weeks to the due date of our 4th, some days I WANT it to go slower....and some days, it can't go fast enough! Thankfully, we have lots of little milestones to look forward to. We use a neat online calendar, (www.cozi.com - check it out!), and have added many fun times to it -- it is consoling, I think, to look forward and not just see "d - day" highlighted in red, but many enjoyable events on the horizon to fill the time, all in good ways. One such fun event just concluded, an event that had been on my radar for 6 months at least! It kind of explains the absence of blogging lately, and I do like to 'keep up', at least weekly, with this blog/journal, so I thought I would post 'what I've been up to' in the form of this, a reflection I gave on Advent for the Mom's group I'm part of at my parish. The event, Advent by Candlelight, I think is not an unfamiliar one, but we had never tried it before. The concept is pretty simple - each hostess (which can be a member of the mom's group, or member of the parish - either works fine) provides table decorations - usually centered around a theme - and a delicious dessert for her table of 8. The evening is almost entirely lit by candles (with a few lights on, for safety's sake). There is a social half-hour, for others to view each decorated tables, and visit with each other. Then, a short program consisting of a welcome, prayer, and Advent reading from Scripture. Following a musical solo (which I provided this year, "O Holy Night") everyone eats dessert, drinks coffee and punch, and enjoys some woman-time. Then, a reflection on a topic relevant to Advent is given, followed by a carol sing-a-long (which a group of musicians, and myself as songleader, led for the group), then a closing prayer. Easy peasy -- and so very enjoyable. I think it worked well for our group, and, even though it was the first year and that maybe necessitated more thought and work, it was really so very simple. We also used this as a fundraiser, asking for a free-will donation of 5 - 10 (or more! or less!) of each guest. We had 100 people attend our first ever "Advent by Candlelight" and we were really pleased with that amount! Well, without further ado, here's what I've been writing and thinking about for the last month and a half! I had a great experience that night in giving this reflection - rarely have I felt so led by the Spirit, who truly guided my words and actions and voice that night. It is so cool to sit down after speaking and have this...well, almost out-of-body kind of feeling like, "Ok, that was me, but that was so NOT me, too. Thank you Jesus!" Have a blessed Advent, one and all! Reflection for Advent by Candlelight, 2009 Copyright Laura Devick   It is “a time of standing still, and yet making a pilgrimage. It is an inner pilgrimage, a pilgrimage in which we don't use our feet. We stand still; yet, in a manner of speaking, we walk a thousand miles across the world - just because we chose to stand still.” To what does this quote refer? It refers to a season where, outside our homes, the light fades more quickly every day – to be replaced by the increasing glow of candle-light, week by week. It refers to the time of our liturgical calendar where the new year begins, but our secular calendar says the old year is still passing away. It is a time when we give gifts to each other with festive wrappings –but the best gift of all awaits us at the end of the journey, in a stable, wrapped in poor clothes, lying in a manger. The quote I began with is from an essay by an amazing woman, Catherine Doherty, who I would like to invite to be our guide in this reflection tonight. Catherine Doherty was not only a champion of the homeless and hungry, but was a fantastic writer, and speaker. She was also a mother, an immigrant, a married woman who experienced divorce and annulment, and, in a second marriage became a widow. The rest of her life was spent as a single person, selflessly serving others through outreach ministry, even as she grew old and experienced the typical infirmities of an aging body. She is a womanly role-model I think we can all relate to, no matter where we’re coming from tonight. Catherine writes, “Advent is a short season, yet it covers a long distance. It is the road of a soul from Nazareth to Bethlehem. …it is a road into infinity, into eternity. It has a beginning, but no end. In truth, Advent is the road of the spiritual life which all of us must start if we do not want to miss the way.” Advent, which started yesterday, and continues for the next 25 days, is a true journey. A journey is a movement from one place to another, and rather than ‘trip’ or ‘vacation’, the word journey conjures up different descriptive words – perhaps ‘saga’, or ‘epic’ – we might picture the Oregon Trail….the voyage of the Mayflower….or even life events, like birth, and death. The journey of Advent is often understood to be like a womanly code word for: “rush around crazily trying to do ten million things that seem to be of the utmost importance and wear you out so you’re too exhausted to enjoy the preparation you actually did, and of course there are still 2 million things on the list that just didn’t happen and that it seems like your kids and husband and friends family didn’t really notice anyways and you’re really glad Christmas only comes once a year because you just want to rest, for Pete’s sake.” How can we ditch that mentality by the side of the road, in favor of the joyful hope that should be our constant companion as we prepare to greet our host at the end of the journey, the Lord, Jesus Christ? We have heard and will continue to hear in our Sunday Scripture readings urgency, and challenge. Though these readings are often referred to as apocalyptic, and do indeed sound strange to our ears – they are not meant to make us afraid – they are meant to make us ready ourselves and our souls. Christ is coming – we need to be ready. They let us know this isn’t just any journey we’re taking. There is great joy, and there is also great cost to our discipleship. In these readings, we see a clear connection between the season of Advent, and Lent, as well. Advent ends at the stable – with a glorious birth. Several months later, in our liturgical calendar, we start a journey that ends with a passion and death – and then a resurrection. Advent’s character, then, is solemnly joyful in its preparation – because of where we end up. A journey to birth is full of promise, full of joy, even in spite of the hardship we might encounter to get there. When we prepare for the journey of Advent, we’re preparing for the entry of Jesus Christ into time and history. We’re also looking for when he comes again, to call all to himself. That’s why we’re hearing these readings – Alpha and Omega – beginning and End – that is Jesus, for us. These are forever intertwined, because we know the true end of the journey. A stopping place only is the stable – it truly ends with resurrection after a crucifixion. On our journey, all our senses are invited to be awakened. On a very real and practical level, how do we experience all our senses on this journey? We’ve already said that Advent is a season of paradox – not either/or, but Both/And. So, I wanted to offer the following suggestions of how we might follow the lead of our senses to celebrate the active waiting and experience the joyful hope of this season. For each sense, we can choose to pull back or fast, or choose to give and open up. But, we start it all off with considering that the time and purpose of Advent is different than the time and purpose of Christmas. How to we respond to this truth? First, how are the sounds of  Advent unique? One idea for a celebration of Advent is to fast from Christmas music. Yes, there is a difference between Advent and Christmas music. I’ve made 2 Advent CD’s – and I listen to them in Advent. I have 2 more CDs that are Christmas CD’s, and I make a huge effort to only play each of these in the appropriate season. How we talk in Advent can also make a difference in the journey. Try saying, “Happy Advent” or “Blessed Advent”, instead of Merry Christmas. Let your mind hear where you are in this moment of time, and not get ahead of yourself. Make time for silence. At your house, turn the TV or radio off. Talk about the journey of Advent with those your know, or those who share your household. Make time for silent prayer. Next, sight. What do we see in our Advent journey that is different than at Christmas? Consider waiting on the Christmas decorations – put your tree up a week later than usual. That can be a hard thing to do – but it might make sense. We long for that greenery, that fullness, that tradition. Absence can make the heart grow fonder. (Also, one less week to obsessively vacuum up needles). Guarding our eyes can also mean avoiding the temptation to over-shop. Getting overly commercialized is a sure ticket way to be in Christmas, even its still Advent. We all KNOW, in our hearts, that gifts aren’t the most important thing about Christmas – yes, a beautiful tradition, surely, but Christmas still happens without them. For some, getting the shopping done before Advent is a goal. For others, making a budget and sticking to a list. Whatever you do, do it mindfully – with prayer. Have you ever prayed before you shopped? Consider starting. Remember, Jesus only got three gifts to celebrate his own birth. Our sense of touch is next – how do we experience Advent through this sense? Make a snowball, or a snowfort. Feel the cold and chill. Count your blessings, giving thanks for a warm home. Think of those sharing this journey with you – some you know, like those who are in “your car” with you. But others stopping along their journey are in need of friendship. This can remind us to do things like: Visit someone who is ill, homebound, someone in need of a friend. Let your life touch others. Be Christ’s hands and feet to others. Finally, the senses of Taste and Smell during  Advent can be approached in several ways. First, through Fasting: fasting from over-eating of the sweets is a good place to start – save some room for Christmas. Offer up your sacrifice for the sake of others. Or, have a celebration of tastes on the Sundays of Advent, trying to go without during the week, as another way of preparing your heart. Next, through sharing: Cook a special meal for someone. Deliver a meal to a new mom. Deliver a meal to an experienced mom, who is missing her kids that live far away. Share what you have and host a potluck. Meals are special – they all point, in some way, to the Eucharistic table, and the heavenly banquet to come. Bring the gift of your presence – and the gift of your time. Those gifts are probably the most valuable – and yet how often do we tell ourselves we can’t really afford to give them? Our senses help us to be aware as we are journeying. Joyful hope – waiting, actively – can and should involve our whole body. But, even the most active waiting experiences lulls – in energy, in time, in the plain old overwhelm or even boredom. Catherine Doherty advises us not to be lulled to sleep, but to enjoy the Advent scenery on our journey. We can contrast this with a road trip. Many times, when we’re on a road trip, falling asleep (if you’re not the driver, that is,) is a good thing – you go to sleep, you wake up, and you’re there! But, in the journey of Advent, you need to stay awake. As Catherine wrote:   “We have so many 'sleeps'. We have that strange inner sleep that wants to escape from whatever we have to conduct in the marketplace with the powers of secularism. And we have that other emotional sleep that drags us into bed (literally, if we only could get there) to escape an even bigger fight with the powers of darkness within ourselves. For we know that we have to 'die to self' so that we may live in Christ, and this is hard for us to face. We also have to fight the simple sleep of weariness that any vocation places on the shoulders of its members - weariness of body, weariness of mind, and weariness of soul.” These three points are challenging to overcome, but not challenging to relate to. Who among us hasn’t experienced the first kind of sleep Catherine mentions – the kind that wants to escape the daily tasks we have to do?  And yet, in a season again full of paradox, we can reflect and feel joy that the ‘outside world’, whatever that means for each of us, the secular world, is not the only world for us as people of faith. We are constantly on a journey, as this world is not our true home – we are pilgrims, on a journey, Heaven is our true home. There is a certain natural unease, a wearing down of our hearts, from time to time, and yet our witness in the world is no less important or needed.   Secondly, Catherine mentions an emotional sleep – in which we find it hard, or refuse to face, the darkness and sin inside ourselves. Advent is a great time to get our hearts in the right place – and that is, right with God: Go to reconciliation. Ask forgiveness of others. Let go of grudges and old hurts.   Lastly, we know the actions of the body affect the inner workings of our heart. As Catherine puts it, this third kind of sleep is a “weariness of body, weariness of mind, and weariness of soul.” – we all know weariness affects us deeply, from the outside in, and sometimes from the inside out. When we’re traveling on a journey of any kind, and Advent is no exception, we need to enjoy the process. Our Advent wreath can be a good teacher for us. It marks the time week by week, patiently waiting to light up. It is not as much appreciated or noticed if all the candles are lit at once. Similarly, we keep our eyes focused on our feet, and then glancing up to the horizon from time to time, a horizon which daily grows brighter – as our Advent candles are lit one by one, drawing us to Christ, our true Light.         When we come to end of the journey of Advent, and the bells ring in Christmas Day, it is my hope, that if we actively wait, and thoughtfully celebrate this journey, we will all reach our destination with a good kind of tired – Not an exhaustion that turns us into a bah-humbug sort of person. But a kind of tired that is, at the same time, and again, paradoxically, ready for celebration.  We’re ready to relax with our hosts. We’re ready to explore new landmarks at the journey’s end. Our journey ends with the birth of Christ, and continues through the Christmas season. As Catherine wrote: “Let us arise, …and begin our journey to Bethlehem. But let us understand that this 'Bethlehem' we seek is within our own souls, our own hearts, our own minds. Advent is a time of standing still, and yet making a pilgrimage. It is an inner pilgrimage, a …journey of the spirit …. Let us 'arise and go'.” http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/748858/ Wed, 2 Dec 2009 04:17:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/748858/ I've had a few funny moments -- opportunities, really -- to continue to let go of my expectations and just go with the flow. They have been challenging at times, but I think ultimately good for me. To me, the process relates to good stewardship. There is a little stewardship anecdote about thirst that works well to illustrate it -- Imagine being really thirsty, doing some hard work in the vineyard (or the backyard garden). A kind soul comes around with a water dipper (or the garden hose). You hold your hand out to receive the water. What happens next is up to you -- to prevent the water from escaping before you can drink it, you might close your hand. The tighter you close it around the water, the more runs out of your hands. But, if you keep your hands open, you retain all the water that was originally poured. Yes, it seems risky and counterintuitive -- most things we want to keep, we clutch. But water, that gives life, must be received with an open hand, or risk losing it all. I've always loved this simple illustration, and can so very easily apply it to my life, my marriage, my kids, even household management. I have had a few moments lately where I have bemoaned my recent lack of formal schedule -- remember when I wrote that we were sick? We are still, 4 weeks later, not really back in the swing of things, really. How can I approach that issue with an open hand? I realized, this morning, that they're still learning a lot. Learning 'follow through' - when they cleaned their room...to MY satisfaction, not theirs (and that includes the beds. They don't care about messy sheets, but *I* do) Learning how to work together as a family - Espen and Jo-Jo have especially been playing well together lately, and having a lot of fun. Espen has even helped Jo-Jo "go" on the potty Applying knowledge - Baz picked out a bright striped sweater today, and said, "Mom, I want to wear that, because it's just ike Joseph's coat of many colors in the Bible!" Sweeeeet! And, another example - we read a 'tall tale' as part of a, well, nothing as formal as a unit study, but, hey, I got a book from the library, and we are working our way through it -- we read about Davy Crockett. At lunch, suddenly Baz said, "Santa is not reaaaalllllly real." And I answered, "Well, St. Nicholas is, and that is who Santa Claus stories are based on. Kind of like how Davy Crockett was real, but people though he was so great, they also invented tall tales about them." Then, Espen told a tall tale about TallDad's cat (as a kid), Lucky, who was found and rescued under incredible circumstances. He even used a 'Western' accent, like I used when I read the book this morning... I've been struggling with how to do copywork, and not boring poor Espen to tears -- he does like to write, but he'd rather choose a subject. Yesterday, he copied words out of a kids dictionary of his favorite foods, then opened up a Word document, and typed them in. That was pretty cool -- and all on his own initiative! He told me, "Mom, I have my own blog now!" Ah, they are all three of them boys after my own heart. May God help me daily to realize that His plans might be for me to be less "organized" and more loving. Less "together" with it all, and more present to the children. Maybe sacrifice a tidier house, in the favor of a spontaneous art project (messy art is something they love, but I continue to struggle with). Most of all, may I have an open hand with the kids, knowing that they are just "on loan" to me, and I want to present them to God not with their spirits broken to suit my needs, my timetable, my preferences and idiosyncracies, but with spirits full of love and joy, discipled in the proper direction - towards holiness and heaven! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/745382/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:57:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/745382/ In a recent email sent to me by a friend, this dear one bemoaned the fate of being a new mom -- loving motherhood -- but all the same, feeling torn and somewhat unsettled with the difference between her prayer life - then and now. I can so relate. I've been mulling over my thoughts on this, and want to get a few words down, at least, and would welcome and thoughts from other moms or single women - or dads, or single men, for that matter -- The crux of the issue, for her -- and, I have decried the same fate from time to time -- is a questioning of what really 'counts' in ones' prayer life. Or, to look at it another way, feeling inside that we must to this or that, or we want to give this or that, or 'accomplish' this or that -- to have the sense that our prayers to God are effective...worth it...helping us...getting us closer to God. The reality of the issue, for all of us, is that different seasons of life come with different responsibilities. St. Frances of Rome said, "Sometimes we have to leave God at the altar to find him at home." The first time I read that quote, I reacted in disbelief. Any "good" Christian, worth her salt, will make the necessary sacrifices to 'keep up' her prayer life -- even after the kids come....and come....and come....and come again....and again.... Wait a second -- were we just talking about reality? I react differently to that quote today, and try not to make my reaction a cop-out, but an acceptance of God's will for my life's vocation. God didn't will me (or my friend) to remain single. He called us to be married, and to welcome and care for children. I feel he has called me, for this time, to homeschool, too. That leaves precious little "alone time" whether in the house, or time to hop in the car or walk to the nearest church to pray. So, what are we all to do? We need to decide how we'll focus out attitude towards prayer. Are we going to quantity only? Rack up 2 hours a day, or whatever, and that is good? We all know our imperfect minds wander after about...say....3 minutes! It is conceivable that one could keep drawing their mind back to God and prayer -- that is discipline, pure and simple. But, it is unreasonable to give that much time a day, for most moms. So, we can't judge our prayer (and our relationship with God) solely on time spent. How about rating it by quality? Which prayers are the best? The ones we speak spontaneously from the heart, or the ones we memorize and say by rote, but with feeling and intention? Is there a special formula that God listens to more, that perfects us more? What if we're not "in the mood" to offer that sort of quality -- due to exhaustion, stress, crabbiness, or even excitement or joy related to some other matter? If we're not sombor enough, can we forget about crossing 'prayer' off our list for the day? Or, if we don't raise our arms, singing in praise, have we not really prayed? I keep coming back to the idea that, truly, for me, in this season of life -- I can't measure my relationship with God by the amount of time I spend with Him -- because that varies day to day, in the journey of my vocation. What IS important, is that I think about spending that time, and make every reasonable effort to do so. I can't make a prayer-success-yardstick with some ethereal idea about the quality of my prayer. I'm a perfectionistic person about many things -- and my best efforts would never be good enough for ME -- and I might doubt they'd be good enough for God (though I'd be wrong, I'm sure -- ). But, I still should strive for my conversations with God to be attentive and active. Sometimes, for Christmas or a birthday, we'd receive a gift that wasn't on "our list". It wasn't newfangled...maybe it wasn't even new, but used....needless to say, it wasn't what we expected. Did you ever receive a gift like that? But, through some chance miracle, you had an openness to truly receiving the gift, and it became something you treasured anyway -- unexpected, unplanned, uncalculated, perhaps at first, unwanted, undesired...undesirable? In that case, which we have probably all experienced, it WAS 'the thought' that truly counted. If I can keep God in my thoughts -- regardless of for how long, before the next mini-crisis erupts in the household -- God knows it. If I can grab the spare moment, when everyone is happily occupied, and my household chores are caught up, for the time being, and offer that to God, whether through rote prayer, spontaneous prayer, or, as St. Therese of Lisieux wrote about prayer calling it, "a glance of the heart" toward God in heaven -- God knows it. If stress, exhaustion, worry -- or joy or excitement or overstimulation -- render my prayer what I would consider less than perfect, God knows my thoughts, and he knows the intentions of my heart -- and I believe he'll still bless me for my human effort. It's possible for us 'marrieds' to look back fondly on single life as a golden time of prayer -- being able to give all we can give to God, with less responsibility to anyone but ourselves -- and so, this time of singleness can also be a time of selfishness, or temptation towards selfishness, at least. Single life can also be terribly lonely. The grass is not always greener. On the flip side, many single people long to be married, so they can share their prayer life with their spouse and kids. Again, the grass is not necessarily greener -- I mean, you have to take time out to mow the grass, for one thing! But, you also learn a lot more about 'prayer on the go', because my kids just don't sit still. One decade of the rosary? Maybe. One 'Our Father' before Dad leaves for work is hard enough most days. We can't give up -- God is always near -- even if we feel like our efforts are small and unworthy. God is ready to meet our needs, though our prayer be imperfect. God wants to bless us in this season, and all to come. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/743551/ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:03:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/743551/ No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...Just had H1N1 (probably) -- you know...no big deal.   Ok, so it WAS a big deal, but I'm better now. Interestingly enough, with writing some articles, various freelance work, and preparation for an Advent reflection at my mom's group fundraiser event to work on, I have not felt the desire (nor had the time) to do much free writing on this blog. Today, though, I just had to get a few words in, before they exited my pregnancy-addled brain, never to be heard from again. Two stories about Baz: - My little guy, almost 4 years old now!, was looking through the Family Consecration to Mary Book -- I think many Catholic moms know this one -- and he really enjoys looking through our various holy books/prayer books/pamphlets at the pictures. Well, this time, he was looking at the words...He was pointing, naming the letters. "M....E....I.....L.....R....O...V..." Then, a pause, and, this followed: "Velvet Painting of Elvis..." Um....ok. - I was out one evening for our parish mission, and when I got home, TallDad had this story. He was trying to keep the crises to a minimum, and was successful for a time, until he realized Baz was no where to be seen, and he couldn't recall seeing him or hearing from him for at least 30 minutes -- uhoh, not a good sign. When he did find him, he had wedged himself behind the bathroom door, and was applying my make-up. TallDad said he had a uni-brow going on, made from mascara, and a wide clown-mouth lipstick! Right when Dad found him, he said, "I know, I know...I know I shouldn't be doing this. I"m putting it all away now, see? I'm sorry." Hmmm...that was quick.   I also think I should begin to keep a notebook especially for the random objects I find in random locations throughout the house. For instance: Plush Elmo in the vegetable crisper. ...Legos, blocks, and toy cars in the oven warmer drawer on consecutive days. ...candy stuffed into the bed-rail in Espen's top bunk (and he thought I wouldn't find it! I decided to make his bed myself that day, so it would be nice and straightened, and discovered his cache, like a little sugar-high squirrel would make).   A few school stories.... We have been enjoying our homeschooling year, and after everyone has recovered from illness, are back on track with some daily learning. I'm slowly figuring out that the more relaxed I CAN be, the better our days go. I was sitting down to make up our Nov, Dec, and January schedule, and really didn't want to make as much of a daily schedule as make topics that could be covered appropriately throughout the month. I just don't think I, or they, are ready for a full-on checklist. Our life is just not like that yet -- and we're expecting a new arrival in just about, oh let's see, seven or so weeks, give or take.... I don't want to use the baby as an excuse, but I think plenty of learning still occurs, and still will occur, as we get used to our new family member... But, what have we been working on? Espen today made Chapter 1 of a Transformer Book -- it was a perfect copywork exercise that he did very willingly. He dictated to me, I wrote on another piece of paper, and then he copied into his new notebook. Sweet! Baz readily knows his letters, and numbers to ten now, which was a big fall goal. What's next  for him? He is showing quite an interest in the piano, and though I wouldn't start anything very formal with him, I may teach him a song or two. The last week or so, he has sat down, and plunked out triads, and also a little melody we made up from the "Tale of Timmy Tiptoes" story by Beatrix Potter -- it was amazing. He amazed himself! I poked my head around the corner, and asked him, "Is that Timmy's song?" and he looked at me wide-eyed, "Yeah!" Jo-Jo's schoolwork right now is "Potty Training 101". He's getting REALLY good at number 1 (no more potty on the piano, thankfully), though number 2 is still a daily mess for me to clean up. Oh well...1 out of 2...50% before age 2 1/2 is pretty darn good, from our past experience. Jo-Jo also is interested in the two baby dolls that have made it into our house lately. He'll often hand me the doll, and say, "Needs Mama." and then will tell me what the baby needs, "Nee-Nee (mommy's milk), Sleep, Cudd-oh Baby," -- ah, if he only knew what awaited him. Or, maybe he does know, and he's trying to prepare me?   I have that sense, more and more, of the calm before the storm. I don't mean to phrase that negatively, but -- I enjoy SUCH a freedom right now -- going out to meet a friend for coffee for an hour last night, for instance. I know that, for the first 6 - 10(!) months of our new baby's life, he'll be with me. That doesn't smother me as much as it did for the first two -- I'm very embracing of it. But gosh, it IS just so different....So, over the next weeks, I'll soak up some opportunities to 'get away' and do those little things I enjoy on my own. I'm more than happy to share them with out baby blessing though, too -- I realize what a great honor and privilege and blessing it is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby, and my heart goes out to all those who have struggled and experienced loss either before or after birth.... I hope fall is treating ya'll well.....and look for more regular posting from me....at least for the next seven weeks or so! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/741741/ Tue, 3 Nov 2009 10:54:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/741741/ As I write this, there are brownies baking in the oven -- mmmmm....brownies...... I might get to try one, but they mostly will be eaten by others, I have a feeling. And, probably no one in my house! I'm baking a few pans of brownies for a benefit that will be hosted at our church tomorrow, to support two lovely women in our parish, one with lymphoma, one with leukemia. Though I know both, the woman, a wife, mom of 5, and founder of a Catholic mom's Bible study -- that we currently use at our parish -- is a special friend of mine. As I read her caringBridge site throughout the last 40 days  (yes, she was in the hospital for EXACTLY 40 days. How poignant is THAT?) - I was struck by several things that she (and her sister, who 'blogged' for her at times) had to say... Number one on my mind right now is the acceptance of God's will (that is, for her to suddenly be diagnosed with cancer, and have to report to the hospital on that same day to begin treatment), almost as cheerfully as I've ever seen anyone do anything fun that they would enjoy doing. He upbeat nature is what has drawn to many to her -- as soon as her site was set-up, literally over a thousand people sent her guestbook messages, and kept in regular contact. She maintained her cheerfulness, despite her illness....despite a white blood cell count so low she could not have any visitors outside of immediate family....despite -- Number Two thing that struck me: Even with her cheerfulness, the illness -- the leukemia -- sapped her of strength and energy, and for some time during her stay, she found prayer incredibly difficult. It was not that she didn't want to pray -- in some strange way that is probably only understood by those who have gone through illness such as this -- she simply could. not. pray. Both of these things (and there are so many others I could write about) really made me think about the figts God gives to us. She has had many challenging experiences in life (even besides being a mom of 5! ha!), and yet retains this bouyancy of spirit, always. That is surely a gift from God, and part of her natural personality as well. To me, it was consoling to know that a sudden diagnosis, such as cancer, couldn't take that away from her. I've read and heard in homilies that when we finally stand before God, everything in our personality that wasn't God-given, even talents, etc, will be stripped away. The soul will stand truly naked before God, retaining only the qualities God endowed him or her with..... The inability to pray struck me, too -- and highlight the importance, to me, of all of us, her friends, acquaintainces, children, husband, family, parish family -- needed to hold her up in prayer. She couldn't find the ability to pray at times -- but through the mystical Body of Christ, the connection that truly binds us all, our prayers could still have effect to not only plead to God on her behalf, but to somehow keep her in good spirits, and even affect the outcome of her illness. I'm sure receiving a thousand or so thoughtful, prayerful posts on your CaringBridge site every day would certainly help you feel wrapped in prayer and care! I'm excited, thankful, and looking forward to the benefit tomorrow. It is a celebration of what God can do, what God can inspire our own hands and feet to do to serve others, and a time for fellowship and a hug. Life is such a mystery. The story might have ended much differently. That is perhaps the hardest thing to think about. Her cancer may NOT have gone into remission...She might have needed a bone marrow transplant (she still may, at some point). She might not have gone home within 40 days....or at all. And yet, even those things could have conceivably been within God's will. Why was it God's will to spare her, now? I guess I can't pretend to understand the Divine Mind...but I will say I'm happy that my will and God's matched up on this one....   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/737747/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:35:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/737747/ I feel like we are getting into the school groove, and the key word in this is: flexibility! Oh, how hard it is for me to learn this word! But OH, how necessary. I have been feeling good, though, about having a plan....then having the wisdom (well, most of the time) to know when to deviate from it... ...when playing a game is more important than checking something off a list (and hey, they learn so much through games, too!)... ...when settling in under snuggly blankets to watch a half-hour "Thomas the Train" movie is just the thing to get Jo-Jo to sleep, and thus ensure about 2 hours of quiet lunch and school time for the older two -- even though watching TV during the weekdays is reallllly not on "the list"... ...when I'm interrupted during a period of 'me time' reading or at the computer by Jo-Jo needing me to take him potty, Baz wanting to show me a game he just made up, or Espen asking if he can do a load of laundry -- I just have to give thanks for their learning, creativity, and desire to be helpful -- and I can take a break from "my" time to be present to them, knowing it'll all even out in the end.... I was talking with my mom last week when she was over to play with the boys, and she encouraged me, "Enjoy these day -- you will miss them someday!" She and Dad are now "empty-nesters", though I think I still keep them busy enough with my little requests! -- but they do have a different amount of time just alone with each other. They are more in love than ever -- but the absence of the pitter-patter of the feet of their kids does still affect them. (I'm only two happy to loan 3 sets of feet to pitter patter around!...but its still not the same). I try to keep that perspective in my days, when - it's only 1:30, and seems like it should have been 5:00 hours ago. WHERE is TALLDAAAAAAD? Save me! -cooperation is low from them or me, for whatever task we may be trying to accomplish -this baby in my belly is kicking my ribs, and its losing its cuteness -we're tired, cranky or hungry  Because, though I haven't experienced what my parents are going through right now, I know that someday -- - 1:30 to 5:00 will still seem long, but I don't have them to share it with... - I will wish for them to be here, uncooperative or not, to fill my afternoon with their laughter and goofiness -this baby won't be a baby anymore... -I'll only be cooking for two, I can sleep whenever *I* want, and my crankiness might be from seeing them too seldom. I know those days will come, even as I know that some days I fail to appreciate what we're going through right now. What a balance to try to strike in this life. It's a rollercoaster, isn't it? Enjoy the ride.       http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/736525/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:19:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/736525/ Ok, if you hadn't guessed by the subject heading, this post will include references to "urine". It is innocent urine, little boy pee, but nonetheless, you may choose to a) not read this post b) not read while eating/near eating/if you ever plan to eat again, depending how sensitive you stomach is or c)...uh, I can't think of any more options. Most moms and dads can probably relate to this situation, even if the selfsame has not happened to you. But, I just couldn't go another day without posting. Oh, and also there are pictures. But not of the potty. Mostly of the piano.   Step 1: Your child pees on the keyboard of your piano. Step 2: You debate about what to do. You've never taken a piano apart....and wonder, if you did, if you could put it back together. Step 3: You decide to let it go.....much like your son did, just moments ago. Step 4: You change your mind when, upon examining the underside of the keyboard, you notice urine dripping -- quite rapidly, in fact -- out of one of the screw holes. Step 5: You roll up your sleeves, and roll back the first part of the piano. There is absolutely no way you can access anywhere near the keys through this. You examine the piano further. Step 6: You realize that the music stand, L-shaped wood behind the music stand, is just one piece, and has only 2 screws attaching it to the main body of the piano. So, you take a deep breath and get your screw driver, hoping something strange, random, and dangerous won't happen if you start messing with this instrument.   Step 7: You realize there are two pieces beneath to take off -- the sliding cover over the keyboard, and the wood to which that is attached. You take off the first part, then the wooden support. Nothing snaps or breaks. Whew.   Step 8: Success. Whith everything out of the way, you can now lift up the keys, and clean out the area with small squares of lint-free cotton. (Don't use bathroom cotton swab make-up-remover squares like I did. But, it did work to mop it up. Just kind of linty.) Step 9: You've never been so thankful for a dust bunny, as it stopped the trickle of pee-pee from going any farther...at least in the direction of the lowest notes. A wooden support stopped it from going past the G below middle C. (Yes, he's got quite a "range". Har har.) Step 10: Find random objects as you're cleaning, and wonder. Step 11: Put it all back together. Have a good laugh, and a sip of coffee. Realize how blessed you are, and make it a goal to play piano more often, before something worse happens to this instrument. Step 12: Put diaper on child.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/734232/ Wed, 7 Oct 2009 20:26:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/734232/ Sometime around Month 7 of pregnancy, things start to get a little weird in my body.... My hips go all loosey-goosey, resulting in lower back pain and hip pain, necessitating the need for a 'third trimester' belt to hold it all in place. It's a natural process -- the body is loosening up, relaxing, so that the pelvic bones can spread to accomodate the baby's entrance into the world... My throat and accompanying muscles within slacken, allowing anything spicy, citrusy, or sometime carb-y to cause me heartburn, almost at any time of day or night. To counteract this, we have switched our eating schedule to be more of the 'frequent, small meals' type, which is healthier for all of us in the long-run anyway. Again, this is a natural process of the body, though troublesome at times... My sleep is frequently interrupted by the need to get up an use the bathroom,...or by a slight irritation, such as a child touching me, or by...I don't know what. A dream? A noise? ... This, too, is a natural process -- almost as if the body is getting itself used to be woken up at frequent intervals to feed a hungry newborn.... Often, this is the time when my emotions start to go a little haywire, too. In the past, being medicated for depression, this would be the point where the meds didn't work...or, if I wasn't on meds, I'd need to start them. At this point, I'm not medicated for depression, but I do sense those moments in my behavior or attitude that points toward the hormonal surges giving me some 'down' thoughts.     However, this time around, I have less "baggage" in my head. While I know its not the choice of every mom (or possible for every mom), being at home with my kids has given me so much more peace during this pregnancy. I have an intuition, deep inside, that what would usually set off my downward spiral was the thought of the birth (happy!), the first 3 months (maternity leave), but then -- returning to work (yuck! leave my baby??). For the last two kids, I took them to work with me a good deal of the time -- and was so very thankful for my boss' openness to that, as well as the welcome of my co-workers to this situation -- but it was still stressful for me. I felt like I wasn't really able to be present to both my 'paid work' and my "REAL work' as a mom. Now, that is just me -- but....you have to know yourself, and I have been blessed to know that being at home is the right choice, for me.... But, over and above these bodily physical changes, there are changes in my heart. When I look at each of my already-born children, and my husband, I have slowed down enough to reflect on the different emotions within me as I consider each one ..... Espen...     the first born. courageous, yet tender. a born leader. wild, and given to mood-swings. also steady and dependable. lives his own paradoxes, but likes his environment to be understandable and without question. my gentle bear -- he is not either/or, he is both/and. getting so tall. sometimes so sure of himself, sometimes still wanting to cuddle in my lap. learning so much. eager to help and please. kind to his younger brothers. a true friend... Baz...    a gentle soul. emotional and sensitive. creative and artistic. would just as soon dance as kick a soccer ball, or sing instead of yell. daily amuses us with funny faces and insights. sometimes acts like the true middle child that he is -- gets his words often interrupted, so we have to listen closely and encouragingly, so he'll say what is truly on his heart. can sit and look and wonder for long periods of time. can be independent in his imaginary play, but needs a big or little brother around so he doesn't get lonely. a peaceful person, a gift... Jo-Jo...    my 'oldest' baby, yet still so young. there is more space between him and his brother to be born, so he has been cuddled and perhaps coddled, but he holds his own. he shows that he admires his big brothers by copying their good, and sometimes not-so-good actions, and he depends on their friendship and love, and responds with his loyalty. amused by watching. amused by performing for us! speaking sentences, beginning to tell us his thoughts, sometimes struggling to find words he has never before said. a cheerful dreamer... and, of course, TallDad...    rock. friend. support. lover and companion. seems to bear all cheerfully, yet trusts in me enough to vent when things are tough at work, with school, with the kids, or whatever else is going on in our life. funny, creative. serious, good listener. a willing and active dad, a caretaker of us all in so many ways. truly increasing his competence every day. we share it all. friend of my heart, love of my life...   As my body slows down, and my thoughts begin to focus on all the gifts I've been given, I realize what a blessing it all is - life, the blessing of bearing children, pregnancy, family, peace...  Gone is the first trimester tiredness, irritability, and illness.        Gone, too, is the burst of energy and pinky glow of the second trimester.   The third trimester is what it is.   Large. Heavy.                                              Slow. A chance to sit and think -- and a good excuse to do so -- because it is getting harder to get up. More time to sit on the couch and read books to the kids (and read myself!) -- because taking walks requires so much more effort, my hips can't take a long walk without complaint, and because I prefer to have TallDad tie my shoes whenever possible. A new tiredness -- not as troublesome as in the first months -- a resigned kind of tiredness. Not unwelcome -- very peaceful.  Soon the baby will be on the outside, so why not go to sleep around 8:30 each night, cuddling with the kids? I need the sleep, and we all need the cuddling... When the baby arrives, life will change. It will again be fast-paced, though we still won't seem to 'do much' to the outside world...but the first days of nourshing a newly born body and soul, outside of the safety and warmth of the womb, will consume us all... For now, we all slow down, appreciate and love each other, and accept the blessings of the things I cannot control -- my body and heart's natural reactions to this time of life -- that are truly given by God. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/733707/ Tue, 6 Oct 2009 12:15:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/733707/     Hop on over to ElizabethEsther.Com for a new feature -- the Saturday Evening Blog Post! Elizabeth invites participants to post the post they've enjoyed writing on their blog from the past month. I'm excited to check out some other posts, too! And, in case you missed it the first time around, I thought this post: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/728955/ was a good one from this past month. And what a quick month it was!   Happy October, everyone! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/733007/ Sat, 3 Oct 2009 19:06:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/733007/