Taking Dominion, One Day At A Time - Homeschool Blogger

Why I Stopped Blogging

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 10:38:00 -0500

I wrote the following comment back in August of 2007 to explain to a commenter why I had stopped blogging.

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I think I'm done blogging, but we'll see. I'm overdue with our 5th child and in the past 6 months my husband has launched 2 new divisions of his company. I've no time for blogging.

But it's more than that too. Our worldview, which is by no means new, has become a minority position in today's culture. Though it flourished in history, it is now considered foreign and new to most people.

The questions I received in response to my posts required volumes to answer. A premillenialist is never going to understand why we should strive for dominion and wealth and the "best" in everything. To answer the question I would first have to lay out the case for postmillenialism.

So I guess, the reason I fell off the blog world is threefold: 1) the comments were discouraging, 2) the questions were overwhelming and 3) I'm just too busy.

Part II: Proverbs 31 and Handmade -- Necessities

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 22:55:00 -0600

This second installment in the Proverbs 31 series has proven more difficult than I anticipated.

If you missed the first one, you can read it here.

In the first post I addressed what I would call "homemade hobbies". At the end of the post, I said, "But there is another category of homemade items that I do believe to be necessities. The question is whether or not making these types of items by hand is 1) better and 2) necessary. I'll discuss this in Part II."

What are necessities? For this argument, let's keep it simple -- how about food & clothing? Is it better to sew our own clothes, grow our own vegetables and bake our own bread, (for just three examples)? And is it necessary?

What do I mean by better? Is it better to make things homemade or are the items themselves better? I would like to address both issues. First, I don't think there is anything inherently "better" in making things homemade. In my last post I quoted a speaker from a very popular reformed CD on homemaking who encouraged women to "work on one or two skills at a time... like say you don't make your bread, let's say you buy a lot of prepared foods... start with a couple of things and learn those, you're not going to be like us right now..." From this comment and others, it seemed clear to me that she was encouraging all women to slowly work toward 100% homemade. I think this is a gross misinterpretation of the Proverbs 31 woman. The general principle of the passage is that she provided for the well being of her household. In fact, I would argue that you could go further to say that she provided HIGH QUALITY items for the well being of her household. Whether store bought or homemade her goal was to provide "only the best" for her family. She traveled great distances (like merchant ships) to purchase such items. It even says that "she bringeth her bread from afar!"

If we want "only the best" for our families, is it necessary that we make these items at home or can equal or superior products be purchased in the marketplace? With the industrial revolution and all the advances in technology, I would argue that, IN GENERAL, you can purchase clothing and food of equal, if not superior quality for pretty low price compared to the hours spent making them yourself. Even modest clothing and organic food can be purchased affordably. I've found that oftentimes the raw materials can be more expensive than the finished product. But of course there are EXCEPTIONS! Your husband may just love your bread or home grown tomatoes and no store bought compares. Or you may not be able to find that perfect dress, costume, or modest bathing suit. There is also something special and gratifying about making something with your own hands. And in certain cases it can save you a great deal of money. So I'm addressing the general principle, not the exceptions.

But even if your homemade items are slightly better than storebought, is it really worth the time invested to make such items. I've baked my own bread, nurtured my own garden and sewn my own clothes. These are no small investments of time.

Some might argue that their financial situation necessitates this investment of time. I can definitely understand that situation. But what if you could get yourself out of your financial situation by spending those same hours following the Proverbs 31 woman in her entrepreneurial ventures. I would argue that in the same amount of time spent gardening, baking and sewing, you could multiply the money you saved. I'm going talk more about this in Part III.

To sum up Parts I and II, I would say that I think the Proverbs 31 woman has been sadly misinterpreted. She was not the spokesperson for "homemade". Rather I would say she was the spokesperson and rolemodel for wisdom and excellence. And whether made at home or purchased in the marketplace, she provided high quality items for her family, like scarlet, fine linens and carpets of tapestry.

Clarification on False Assumptions

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 13:48:00 -0600

Many of you have made false assumptions about me. And many of your comments have been hurtful and completely unsubstantiated. I would like to set the record straight.

Just because I advocate following the Proverbs 31 model does not mean:

1) That you won't have "one of those days". In fact I said as much in my original post (paragraph 5).

2) That I "rip my pastor over dinner".

3) That I work when I should be sitting at the Savior's feet (or my husband's or my children's for that matter).

4) That I don't enjoy my children.

5) That I rely on my own strength rather than Christ's.

6) That I'm proud and self-righteous. Just because I feel strongly about it doesn't mean I'm proud and self-righteous. How would you like to be called proud and self-righteous for the beliefs you hold dear?

7) That I'm ruining my health. I'm exhausted because I'm pregnant, not because I work hard. I would be exhausted sitting in a chair all day too.

8) That I have a "cold hard take on life".

9) That I'm a "fun hater".

10) That I treat my children as "slaves".

11) That I lack "love and grace".

12) That my husband and I don't have "great sex".

13) That my husband and I have a "sterile view of life".

14) That my husband has a need for "power trips". (Is obedience really only for dogs? If you truly believe that, I would hate to see your children.)

15) That my children have to be "helpful to their mother every single moment".

16) That I think that those with debilitating diseases should be able to do as much as those without. I made this point in my original post. In fact I specifically used the word "healthy" to prevent this type of accusation (paragraph 7).

17) That I thought Crystal was a "slacker". Paragraph 3 clearly stated that I wasn't addressing Crystal at all. I even mentioned that those with severe nausea (Crystal) and debilitating diseases might have a different standard and offered what I thought might be helpful suggestions (paragraph 9).

If y'all had read my original post more carefully, instead of jumping to conclusions, a lot of this could have been avoided. I chose my words carefully.

A few last comments:

My comment about Deuteronomy 6 WAS in context, Mrs. T. You just missed it. The point of the passage is that we teach our children God's command in the "milieu," which means in the context of living. While we're sitting, standing, walking, lying down, rising up and even while we're cleaning. I teach God's commands to my children all day long in the context of daily living, which includes cleaning.

The use of the terms "asset" and "liability" are figures of speech. It is an analogy we use to describe a certain aspect of childrearing. It does not mean that we have reduced our precious blessings to numbers on an accounting ledger. How ridiculous.

I would be careful to judge a position by it's response. Just because people get all riled up and sling dirt, it doesn't make the position false. The liberals do that all the time.

Regarding the unsaved reading my blog, I would hope they would find my words and deeds to be beyond reproach.

"In all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity of doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us." Titus 2:7-9

I hope this helps clarify my position a bit more.

Tina

A Day In Our Life

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:24:00 -0600

I'm still going to write a general "getting to know us" post. But I thought I would start with "a day in the life of" post.

A friend pointed out last night that I might be accused of being proud and self-righteous again. This kept me from posting this until this morning. But it doesn't really matter what I'm accused of. God is my witness and my conscience is clear. I wrote this to show that we don't run a fun-hating, health-abusing, slave house!

So here it is.

This is not a typical day, but then again what is? Everyone does not normally sleep in this late, but the family was up to about 1 am last night, so we all needed our sleep.

I find that the days get less busy as the week goes on. Mondays are so busy that I have stopped even trying to school on Mondays. So I school Tuesday through Friday year-round. Usually the projects build up over the weekend and I chip away at them through the week and by Thursday and Friday, things are a lot slower and more relaxed.

I would have liked to have taken some pictures throughout the day (especially of the 10 mo after his bath), but my husband has the camera in his truck. I do have one cute one of the three youngest that I'll post.

So here's yesterday:

8 am - 10 am

Get out of bed and put on yesterday's clothes
Bring down dirty laundry and dishes
Get the 10 month old out of bed, give him a bottle on the floor
Use the dust buster pretty much all over the house
Make a mocha for my husband
2 of our employees arrive
Make breakfast for my husband and I (spicy egg sandwiches)
Empty the dishwasher
Reload the dishwasher
Put away clean laundry
Take shower, get dressed, primp, etc.
Kids get up
6 yo old daughter takes a shower
7 yo son gets changed
Change toddler's diaper and get him dressed
Make them egg sandwiches
Feed toddler
Clean kitchen, start dishwasher
Kids run "house errands" for dad
Dad leaves with 2 employees

10 am - Noon

7 yo chases 2 year old back and forth across the living room with the 2 year old squealing in delight
6 yo daughter holds 10 month old on her lap and loves on him
Kids pick up toy area
Work on customer & employee email
Read my blog comments
Post a comment to Crystal's blog
Bring in a new load of clean laundry
Sort it for the kids to put away
2 year old helps me unload dishwasher (he always comes running when he hears me start) It actually gets done twice as fast this way as he can hand them to me almost faster than I can put them away
Field a couple of employee phonecalls
Answer a bit of employee and customer email
10 mo goes down for nap

12:00 - 2:30 pm (2 pm baby wakes up and plays with toddler until school is done)

Homeschool (most of the time with an adorable toddler on my lap)
We covered math, reading, spelling, composition, science, grammar and latin.
We are on break with history (because I'm waiting for Guerber's History of the Ancient World to arrive) and typing (because the kids got new computers for Christmas, but they aren't fully setup yet)

2:30 pm

Serve lunch (leftover homemade chicken and rice soup)
One of our supplier reps calls for daily maintenance. We spend about 15 minutes on the phone placing orders, tracking packages, etc. while kids eat
Kids put dishes in the dishwasher

3:00 - 5:30 pm

Put 2 year old down for nap
Oversee 6 year old giving 10 month old "cute-cute" a bath in the bathtub while talking to one of our employees on the phone.
Love on fresh smelling "cute-cute" for a bit.
Kids run around upstairs while I type up this schedule
Employee calls me to ask if I can call a customer
Call customer while kids take out a dirty load of laundry
Tell kids I need 2 hours of work time
Make myself a mocha for my work time
Spend time in our company order software, entering information, moving orders around, sending customer emails, etc.
Reconcile bank accounts
Kids go outside to play in the snow
Baby crawls around making cute noises and playing with the Staples "That Was Easy" button :-)
Kids come in (it's freezing today)
Baby starts crying, kids try to figure out what they can do to keep him happy, they gleefully decide that the box of marbles will make him stop -- AND THEY'RE RIGHT!
6 and 7 year old play "sword fighting" with metal bars (extra parts from their new desks)
Reheat mocha
Read more blog comments. Feel sad and overwhelmed at the responses. Thank God for "ctk"!
Pick up 10 month old and stand by the fire
6 yo begs to take him and push him around in the umbrella stroller. She says they are "going on an adventure!"
7 yo sharpens a construction pencil with his knife (while mom keeps looking over her shoulder at him nervously)
I don't know why it makes me nervous. He has never cut himself. I just hate blood!
Kids make themselves snacks of carrots, apples and bread
Adjust homeschool schedule spreadsheet to adjust latin from 4 to 5 days per lesson
Kids get extra space heater out and plug it in (it's supposed to be -13 tonight, it doesn't normally get that cold here)
Kids move laundry to the dryer
Kids play outside in the freezing cold for so long I think they must be frozen statues (they're crazy, I'm cold IN the house!)
Snack on pecans at my desk
Hold 10 mo old on my lap for the remainder of my work (he's so cute!)
Call husband to ask him to pickup a super dog space heater (the temp is dropping fast), he tells me he is going to be home late (he's helping a friend remodel his house)

5:30 pm

Pick up the marbles, put away the umbrella stroller
Load stray dishes
Use dust buster all over
Kids come in and watch The Incredibles (under blankets)

7:00 pm

Donkey Mom decides she wants to drive to the mailbox because she is hopeful to find a) Netflix, b) 6 yo bday present, and c) history book. Even though she knows the driveway is a sheet of ice and that her studded tires are on their last leg and daddy is 75 miles away, she ventures out anyway. Half way down the 1/4 mile driveway she starts sliding sideways and gets stuck in a snow burm. She and 7 yo now have to walk back to the house in the freezing cold in the pitch dark on an uphill sheet of ice and mom wore a skirt and her dress shoes (with no traction whatsoever). We just got back to the house. My suburban is completely obstructing the driveway for daddy's return. Hee-haw!
2 yo is up
10 mo old is off to bed
While kids finish up the Incredibles, I wrap 6 yo's presents. They look very cute.
Older kids and I have a tea party with 6 yo's new tea set. They have A BLAST -- VERY CUTE! Wish I had the camera.
I was going to make Greek pasta for dinner, but since husband isn't home I throw in some Annie's pizza instead.
Now we're going to go up and read Little House on the Prairie before bed!
If I have any energy left after they go to sleep, I'd like to come back down and pack our bags for tomorrow's bday party. Three families are staying the night at a hotel attached to an indoor fun center (bowling, climbing wall, water park, mini-golf, arcade, etc.) for her birthday. It should be fun.

Mutually Exclusive? -- Hard Work & A Godly Attitude

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 23:28:00 -0600

There is a common theme that I have seen running through this whole debate. The opponents keep presenting a false dilemma. The thinking goes like this, "I'd rather be cheerful in my PJs with my house a mess when my husband gets home than all dressed up in a clean house with a snappy and grumpy attitude." Are those really the only two choices?

Why can't we be dressed up in a clean house with a nice meal on the table with a gentle and sweet attitude when our husbands arrive home? Why isn't that one of the options? That's the picture of the Proverbs 31 woman. The "law of kindness was on her tongue" and she "smiled at the future". But she also "girded her arms with strength" and "her lamp did not go out at night".

Why can't we work hard with cheerfulness? That's what I aim for every day of my life.

I almost got the feeling from these comments that work made these women grumpy. Perhaps this is the problem? Does hard work and self-discipline turn you into a grumpy, snappy person? It shouldn't!

A friend told me yesterday that when Nancy Wilson was asked how she "does it all," she replied by saying, "I work really hard ALL DAY LONG!" And knowing her, I'm sure she did it with the utmost dignity and kindness.

It's possible ladies. It just requires repentance from sinful patterns, prayer, hard work, self-discipline and a Godly attitude. For those who want to aim for God's standard, I recommend reading Proverbs 31 every day. It's convicting and inspiring every single time I read it.

To Blog or To Clean? That is the Question.

Sun, 7 Jan 2007 21:45:00 -0600

This is my response to a recent post on Biblical Womenhood which can be viewed here.

I discussed this post and all the comments with my husband over dinner last night. He encouraged me to post a comment today. I want to be very careful in this response, but I'm going to have to crawl way out on a limb with Joanne and strongly disagree

Let me start by saying that this comment is not aimed at Crystal, but rather at the modern idea that motherhood paired with homemaking is burdensome and more than any woman can handle in an orderly, efficient and cheerful manner.

I recently read a blog where a woman said, "Are you a Proverbs 31 woman? Personally, I think it's an unreachable goal... I'm convinced that any woman who thinks she can do everything the Proverbs 31 woman can is a miserable, grumpy woman. It's too much to do." This is a woman who is linked to and from Biblical Womanhood. Is God's standard really burdensome, miserable and unattainable? What happened to "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."?

I'm new to the blog world and have been pretty discouraged by all the posts and pictures of moms wearing PJs in messy homes with piled dishes and undone laundry. I think it's the tone that discourages me more than anything else. We all have our days, but it should be the exception not the rule. The tone should be an apology and a plea for help, not a resignation to lower the standard. God's standard is always one of order. I mean look at the Proverbs 31 woman.

I feel like these posts are giving license to this type of lifestyle. It's the comments that get to me. The women who comment on these "I'm not perfect" posts seemed relieved. They appear to have found justification for a lifestyle for which they previously felt guilty. I would say their guilt is justified and they ought not to sear their consciences. I hate to see the standard lowered.

I think a healthy woman who obeys God in just 3 points should be able to fulfill ALL her homemaking responsibilities on a daily basis and much more:

1) submitting to and honoring her husband

2) training and disciplining her children (from birth)

3) working diligently to His glory

I am pregnant with my 5th child and live in a constant state of total exhaustion. But I drag myself from one task to the next all day long. Life is about going back and forth from the dishwasher to the washer and dryer to the diaper changing table and back again. That's life and I love it. I go to bed earlier than usual and probably am running at about 75%, but I still get meals made, dishes cleaned, laundry washed and homeschool completed. In addition, my husband has made me directly responsible for the daily operations of 3 of his companies, including managing employees. I also provide administrative support at the drop of the hat whenever he needs it. This alone takes up a significant part of my day. I don't say this to "toot my own horn". I just don't think that what I do is that amazing. It's like the verse in Luke 17 that says, "So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, 'We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.'"

I hesitated to write this because my goal is not to say, "Oh look at me!" Really I am no different than anyone else. I'm just having a hard time understanding what keeps anyone from getting their daily tasks done, other than physical limitations, like severe nausea (Crystal) or other debilitating diseases. But I think even a person in such a situation can put guidelines in place to keep things sane. It's a matter of self-discipline, which by definition means forcing yourself to do something that you don't feel like doing. For example:

1) Force yourself to take a shower first time out of bed, no exceptions.

2) Force yourself to throw ingredients in the crock-pot straight out of the shower, before getting back in bed. It only takes a few minutes to open packages and throw them in.

3) Rinse and stack the dishes in a neat tower after each meal. This keeps the kitchen looking neat and tidy and allows you to easily load the dishwasher when you have some extra energy.

4) Keep up with the laundry by keeping the clean laundry in boxes/baskets sorted by load type (colors, lights, whites). It only takes a minute to move loads. What takes time is folding, hanging, etc. This way the clothes at least stay clean and somewhat organized with minimal effort.

Another issue that I think needs to be addressed is blogging. Blogging ought to come after all your responsibilities are fulfilled. I would feel extremely guilty sitting in my PJs blogging with piles of undone laundry and dishes. If you can blog, you can sit on the floor and sort laundry or sit in a chair and put on makeup. We should take extreme measures to obey God and honor our husbands. If you can't stand, put a plastic stool in the shower. If you can blog you can sit on the stool in the shower.

I'm with Joanne that modern women need a strong dose of antiquity. Have you ever read about Jonathan Edwards' wife, Sarah? How about the book, "Mother"? These women worked their fingers to the bone and their person, homes and kitchens were always open and prepared for visitors.

I don't recall my life changing much after our firstborn. I asked my husband last night and he confirmed that we went on with "life as usual". I think it all comes down to scheduling and discipline. Are you training the child or is the child training you?

So to answer the question about a 3-month old first child, I would say there isn't any reason you shouldn't be able to continue on with your pre-child lifestyle. And here's the beauty of God's design. As the family grows, so does the help. With only 1 baby, the amount of laundry and food prep are barely increased. But with more children the amount of laundry and food prep does grow, but so does the labor force. But this is a matter of proper training and discipline.

My husband refers to children as either assets or liabilities. At some point a child that previously could only take, becomes a child that can give and can contribute to the workload of the household. We train our children to become assets as early as possible. A 2 year old who is properly disciplined is just dying to work. But my husband has always made it clear that children must truly help and that means we dictate exactly what they do, not visa versa. Play-help isn't helpful. There are many benefits to training children to become assets. 1) It follows the pattern of Deut. 6. of training your children "along the way", 2) It instills a strong work ethic from an early age, and 3) As mom's responsibilities grow to include homeschool, she now has helpers to manage the household while she is working or schooling.

So to address the discussion of whether it gets harder with child 2 or 3, I would say no. A 2 year old should be able to keep the house picked up with initial micro-management. Around 3 to 5 children can unload the dishwasher, do the laundry, change diapers, prepare cold meals, do a lot of the house cleaning and entertain the younger ones. This list comes directly from our household. For just one example, my 5 year old is responsible for diaper changes. She loves her 2 younger brothers and joyfully changes their diapers every single day, even the really messy, stinky ones! :-) And the older they get the more helpful they become. But again, it's a matter of proper training.

The Bible has a very high calling for women. Proverbs 31 is a great place to start. And God promises that "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." God will give us the strength to obey all of His commands. We must follow the Proverbs 31 woman's example, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future."

Dominion Encapsulation

Sat, 6 Jan 2007 20:52:00 -0600

I'm still reading through Assumptions That Affect Our Lives by Christian Overman and thoroughly enjoying it. In his chapter on Moral Order and Reason, he gives a beautiful description of dominion that I wanted to share. I often struggle to give a full picture of the dominion lifestyle. Our family attempts to live it on a daily basis but I struggle to encapsulate it into words. Mr. Overman has done just that.

He asks, "Who Rules Planet Earth?"

He answers, "instead of focusing on what we cannot do in our limitations, let's focus on what we can do in our freedom. For within the borders of our human boundaries, God has given us an astounding freedom, and the highest place of honor among all living things. David, the Hebrew shepherd-king, pondered this while out under the stars at night:

"When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels and You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet," (Psalm 8:3-6 NKJ).

Man was commissioned to manage God's very creation! That which He spoke into existence and proclaimed to be good, He entrusted into the hands of human beings for care and stewardship. Man, being created in God's image, was thoroughly equipped for the task because the capacity for rulership is also one of the central aspects of what it means to be made in the likeness of God. Even as God is the infinite Governor of the universe, He made a likeness of Himself to be a finite governor on earth. We are the only creatures given stewardship over all the earth. It is a mandate of utmost responsibility, and a position of tremendous honor."

Who rules the earth right now? Unfortunately the pagans do. Our job is to reclaim dominion over God's creation. He made us stewards and entrusted us with this task, but unfortunately we have handed it over to the pagans. Where do we start? Within our own realm - our family, our business, our church, our community, our local government.

Mr. Overman goes on to say, "Now, pause and think for a moment. Consider your own sphere of responsibility. What has He placed into your hands? What has He given you to steward? To care for? To cultivate? To dress and keep? What has He put before you to develop? To foster? To invent? To refine? To advance? In what ways are you using those endowments He gave you, in the likeness of Himself, to care for and cultivate His world?"

I think of our job of retaking dominion like the analogy Christ uses to describe the Kingdom of God. It starts small like a mustard seed and grows into the largest of trees. Dominion may start small, but it can flourish into something large and influential.

Another Excuse for Mediocrity

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 12:59:00 -0600

My husband and I take God's commands very seriously. We often discuss the state of the Church and how the theology of various camps have plunged the Church into a state of total impotence. We lament how the Church has ignored or completely discarded so many of God's commands. The sorry condition of the Church is a direct result of its failure to obey God's every command.

Last night I was surfing Master Books and came across the newest release from Ken & Steve Ham. It's called "Genesis of a Legacy." As I read the description, my heart sunk. It reads, "People often mistakenly get caught up in the idea of leaving a financial inheritance for their children, instead of the true responsibility of raising children to love God first and foremost-- the only legacy of value."

Here we have another Christian who has rewritten Scripture, completely writing off one of God's commands. Here a very influential author gives Christians another excuse for mediocrity.

The Bible is clear about the inheritance. Proverbs 13:22 says, "A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children; And the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the righteous."

The Bible says that a "good man" builds so much wealth that he leaves an inheritance not only to his own children, but to his grandchildren. But Mr. Ham says that this financial inheritance is of no value.

It's not that we don't think we should leave a spiritual inheritance. Of course we do. My husband and I consider the task of raising and discipling our children to be the most important, challenging and gratifying of all our responsibilities.

R.L. Dabney said it beautifully, "The education of children for God is the most important business done on earth. It is the one business for which the earth exists. To it all politics, all war, all literature, all money-making, ought to be subordinated; and every parent especially ought to feel every hour of the day, that, next to making his own calling and election sure, this is the end for which he is kept alive by God – this is his task on earth."

We take this responsibiltiy very seriously, but we believe we are called to leave our children with both a spiritual and a financial inheritance. That's what the Bible says. It's a lot of work, but it's fun, challenging and rewarding and most of all it's what God requires.

No more excuses. The church needs to take every jot and tittle seriously. That's the only way it will ever regain it's potency.

Proverbs Mini-Series Interruption

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 23:20:00 -0600

I fully intended to post my "mini-series" consecutively, but on the eve of my first post one of my employees quit with no notice due to family conflicts. So last week I attempted to maintain my own busy schedule AND HERS! On top of that my husband is listing his luxury development TOMORROW. I feel like I haven't slept in a week. Oh wait, I haven't. So, all this to say, I'll be back to Proverbs after I train her replacement and get back to life as normal (if you can call it that).

Part I: Proverbs 31 & Handmade -- Hobbies

Sat, 2 Dec 2006 13:19:00 -0600

As I mentioned a few days ago, something about the modern Proverbs 31 women's movement has bothered me for a long time. Since my shower revelation (term used loosely, of course) a few days ago, I've been trying to organize my thoughts into sentences and paragraphs.

I've read through the passage over and over, making notes and organizing the verses into categories. I think verse 27 best sums up this woman: "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." She worked hard to provide for the needs of her household. And to meet a lot of those needs, she had to make things at home by hand. We got the terms "homemade" or "handmade" from these types of activities. But I think somewhere along the road, the Proverbs 31 Woman has become equated with the woman who makes everything "handmade" or "homemade".

I used to attend a very large fundamentalist church where the women's ministry was very devoted to encouraging all women, young and old, to become "Proverbs 31". Though they often spoke of her wisdom, kindness and other virtues, most of the time the label "Proverbs 31" was used when someone had done something "crafty," like making cloth covered photo albums and Bible covers, cutting and stamping their own greeting cards, cross stitching a towel or pot holder, putting puffy bows on baskets and dried flower arrangements and so on. "Oh how Proverbs 31 of you!" or "Look at my Proverbs 31 items," they would say. Most women reading that list would probably be able to put a distinct decade on those activities -- the 80s! I've since left the "fundamentalist" camp and have become "reformed," but I still see Proverbs 31 being equated with "homemade". The homemade activities may have changed, but the emphasis remains the same.

I just finished listening to a pretty popular, reformed CD on homemaking where the speaker was encouraging other woman not to get discouraged by comparing themselves to her. She encouraged them that some day they would be able to do all these "wonderful, great, exciting things" too. She gave the examples of Quilt-Making & Candle Making. She went on to encourage them to just "work on one or two skills at a time... like say you don't make your bread, let's say you buy a lot of prepared foods... start with a couple of things and learn those, you're not going to be like us right now..." Another gal on the tape said later, "We have enjoyed taking on other projects as well, such as Cross-Stitching, Smocking, Crocheting, Knitting, Spinning, Quilting, Dried Flowers, Arranging and Cheese-Making. Becoming proficient in these things is something I know I will never regret."

I'm sorry ladies, but Quilt-Making, Candle-Making, Cross-Stitching, Smocking, Crocheting, Knitting, Spinning, Quilting, Dried Flowers, Arranging and Cheese-Making are hobbies. They may be fun and they may make you feel good about providing homemade items for your family and friends, but 1) the items being made are not necessities, and 2) there is just as much virtue in buying these things. If we are to follow in the Proverbs 31 woman's footsteps, we must be prepared to work hard, beginning before it is light and ending well into the night. There is a lot of work that is required to keep our homes running smoothly and I've found that I have very little time for hobbies and such. If I DO find free time, I usually read or write, but I don't find many hours in my week to spend in such activities.

But there is another category of homemade items that I do believe to be necessities. The question is whether or not making these types of items by hand is 1) better and 2) necessary. I'll discuss this in Part II.