Psalm 34:3 - Homeschool Blogger

Shy

Wed, 30 May 2007 17:38:00 -0500

It's been... well, months! Here's what happens: I get busy. Then I say, "It's been awhile since I posted. I feel shy... and I have nothing really important to say."

So, I let another day go by. And another. Pretty soon it's been six months! WHEW!

Well, I have things to share! So, without further ado, to pick up the threads: Casey and David were married one month ago yesterday! Here are two blogs where you can view gorgeous pictures of their VERY happy day!

Lydia Jane's blog

Kristen Leigh's blog

They are doing very well, and we are so grateful for the growing family!

Speaking of growing, Mike and Jessica (who were married last year on June 24) are planning to make us grandparents for the first time in early November.

God has been so good! I'll be sharing some inner thoughts soon, but it's date night, so I gotta go love on my honey!

God's Grace Again!

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 10:01:00 -0600

I am so full of joy as I contemplate yet another evidence of God's grace to our family. Our beloved David asked the girl of his dreams, Casey, to marry him yesterday, and she said "yes!" We are all SO glad! Rejoice with those who rejoice, please. God has been very, very good to us!

Here's the spot where details will be forthcoming, I'm sure:

David's Blog

Rather Be Bloggin'

Wed, 8 Nov 2006 16:27:00 -0600

It's a gray day, and my workload looks higher than the Grand Tetons from ground level. It's all important and it's piled up to the heavens. I've got miles to go before I sleep...

So, why am I blogging? Because often, when I get really overwhelmed, I fiddle and diddle and piddle around, wasting precious minutes. As if I had time to waste!? I wonder what that tendency is?

I think part of it stems from self-reliance. It's sort of my stress valve, like on a pressure cooker. If I just relax for a few minutes and do something fun, I find I can return to the great and real business of working hard.

Part of it is normal avoidance: who wants to do it?

Part of it can work into self-pity: I have no time to myself. I'm just going to TAKE time to blog. I'll get to the work later, but now's my time for me, so there! (This is not the case for me today, but it has been plenty of times.)

And, part of it, I'm sure, is that I really could use a nap or a vaction. Homeschool moms (really, all moms!) work hard. We often are simply at the limits of our human strength, and nothing looks easy when you're dog tired.

But, as I sat down to write all this, the Spirit tapped me on the shoulder gently. I kind of think that prayer might be a better way of handling this same stress. What would it look like to turn to the Lord and say, "Father, I am really tired and beaten down. I'm about out of resources within myself. The load is so heavy, Father, and I'd rather be playing. Please help me! Restore to me the joy of my ministry to my moms (or my family or my kids... you fill in the blank with the work He has given you to do). Help me to rely on You, not on my own weak self. Please help me to work now, steadily, and to Your glory. Help me to remember, too, how I feel right now so that I can retain humility and compassion on my husband or kids when they're down and I'm up in the near future, and I want them to do my will. Amen."

Motivation vs. Pressure

Mon, 6 Nov 2006 09:49:00 -0600

Over on my Tapestry forum, we've been having a discussion about the ins and outs of raising teens to the glory of God. We've hit on several major topics that are near and dear to my heart, and I would love to get a broader range of opinions and comments about these topics using this blog.

Here are some threads in the conversation thus far:

My dh and I have had an ongoing discussion about our two teenagers (15yod, 13yos) and their apparent lack of motivation to achieve excellence. You know--only doing the minimum. I want to encourage them to do their best BUT I am concerned (maybe overly) about being one of those pushy parents who drive their kids too hard. I certainly don't want my kids to feel that "nothing I do is good enough for you". Any advice?
I really appreciate Marcia, what you said too - "work hard, go to Heaven tired" That's great advice for me too! I think at times I have communicated this to my kids, but with a lack of joy, which is so crucial. Could you elaborate on this part of your reply: "some of the problems I've noted in homeschooling teens seem to stem from parents who are timid about letting their teens go"? As in releasing them to fly or fall?
What approach have you taken for your daughters during these years? What motivates you where your daughters are concerned?
What are little girls made of? Love and joy; tenderness and dreams; fun and laughter. They have a sweetness that the boys cannot enjoy, in a way. We don't have to train them to go and do and be. Christian girls are free--in a way none others are that I know of--to pursue what Scott calls a "Millenium Education."

In the next few days, I want to see if we can have more conversations here about these threads. If you want to catch up with what was said so far, read here. For organization's sake, let's try to keep to one topic at a time. I'm going to post the topic for THIS thread below, along with my starting reply.

First bullet above:

My dh and I have had an ongoing discussion about our two teenagers (15yod, 13yos) and their apparent lack of motivation to achieve excellence. You know--only doing the minimum. I want to encourage them to do their best BUT I am concerned (maybe overly) about being one of those pushy parents who drive their kids too hard. I certainly don't want my kids to feel that "nothing I do is good enough for you". Any advice?

Here was my first attempt at a response.

I would say that students should know why they are being asked to do their best. And that "why" should come from Scripture. I always put before my teens the fact that I wanted them to excel and to proceed into adult life. They didn't have to earn adulthood, but they did have to prepare for it well. In my seminar and in the introductions to Tapestry year-plans, I talk about the importance of teaching on liberty and self-control, taken with permission from Gregg Harris. This has been so formative to my thinking, and to what we have done right in the teen years.

I regularly reminded my teens that all humans were put on earth to serve and to glorify God. Jesus Himself modeled this: He came not to be served but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many. My husband and I have always said the equivalent of this: "Work hard, and go to Heaven tired!" In our paradigm, the teens' role, their duty, their job in the teen years is to prepare for service in adulthood: marriage, civics, and vocation. Mine were excited that we were for their growing into adults; some of the problems I've noted in homeschooling teens seem to stem from parents who are timid about letting their teens go.

Becky then asked me to clarify what I meant by the last statement, and I wrote:

"As in... really cheering them on to become adults. As in expressing to them often that you are excited about God's purpose for them in the world. What I've seen in the homeschool movement in general is what I'd call the "bunker mentality." We hunker down in our isolated bunkers 'cause there's a war going on out there which is, frankly, scary! Especially when our children are young, we seek to batton down the hatches and protect them from the world. All this is normal and beneficial until a certain point when it becomes better to begin to teach them how to function outside the home.

In the early teen years, kids are asking big questions like "is my parents' God my God for real?" and "What do I, myself, think about: drining, driving, sex, and politics"? "Do people like/esteem/respect me (and my parents) and why or why not?" "Does my parents' message match their daily choices, and if not, why not?"

This stage, then, presents a new challenge to parents. Suddenly, it's not enough to be the benign dictators. Our kids peek behind the curtains: they see our flaws and that sight can be shocking. Depending on how much we've grown in humility and servanthood, WE can be shocked at their noticing our faults. We have a choice at the start of this stage: either humble ourselves and gracefully step down off our pedestals, seeking to give up our cushy jobs as benign and exalted dictators and become instead sinners who partner with other sinners as we limp down the road of life together, or be knocked down off those pedestals by our children as they rush out the door to get as far away from us as they know how.

We chose to posture ourselves as more excited about our children's growing independence than they were. We began when our boys were 12 to push and train them to accept responsibility as soon as it was moral to do so. Recognizing that the suburbs present far too few challenges to healthy young males (no rocks to climb, wood to chop, or fields to till), we sought ways for them to arise, go forth, and conquer in the context of serving in our local church. This, we hoped, would set a pattern for their adult lives as church members, husbands, and fathers. And, while they remained at home, we also supported them with a buoyant safety net woven of love, prayer, and compassion. Somehow, the dynamic was that if we focused outwardly and looked towards indpendence (rather than working and working to make them strong and perfect before we released them into the big, bad world), they sought us more. They wanted our advice and wisdom because we did not smother them with it. They were trying, and failing, and finding their limits quite quickly; as a result they wanted our help. Growing up is tough! We always offered that help willingly, and sought to encourage them to try again."

This seemed to help some people; but what do YOU all think about motivating/pushing teens? What have you seen that works? What mistakes can you share that others could learn from?

Self-righteousness: Part II

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:59:00 -0500

So, why did I say that homeschool moms are so prone to the disease of self-righteousness? Well, it's because we feel so right so often!

We compare ourselves with our neighbors
We compare ourselves with other Christians
Or with our children
Or with our husbands

And, in our blindness, we come out lookin' pretty good! Add to this that we are isolated from adults much of the time, and that our young children aren't really very discerning or articulate (so as to be able to show us our sin) and oops! We fall so easily into self-righteousness.

Now, we can add to that thoughts like these:

I work so hard
No one even notices. I am marginalized and get no respect.
I get no bonuses, raises, and promtions: no benchmarks by which to measure success!
My job is SO important and scary all at the same time
And it's all on ME!!!

We need to talk truth to ourselves. I can get into a pity-party so fast if I listen to myself talk this way! I need to remind myself of a few important things:

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
My log is bigger than their speck.
Homeschooling is God's idea, not mine. And how it all turns out is His responsibility, not mine.
He loves me and my kids far more than anyone else. This is His best for us all.
He's watching: will I choose to glorify Him today?
I am on earth to serve, and that joyfully. It is my goal to "go Home tired!"
I don't deserve better: I deserve Hell. But, Jesus took that for me.
Yet, my rewards will be eternal, for He crowns me with compassion.

God is GOOD. Truth is good!  I am so grateful that my self-righteous thoughts are not reality. How I love Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)
    For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
        neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
    For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
        so are my ways higher than your ways
        and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Self-righteousness: Part I

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:05:00 -0500

James 3:1 says, "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness."

Lately, this Scripture passage has been so true for me on so many levels that I've seriously considered taking down this blog and shutting down Tapestry forever, let alone finding some way to get out of all the teaching engagements Scott and I have made across the country.

It's all part of being used for God's purposes, however. God doesn't feed His people from dirty crockery. Vessels that carry His message must be clean. Golden nuggets of truth must be refined into proper settings for the gospel. Though it is hard, I wouldn't change time in the Refiner's fire for anything. It must result in me becomming more like Christ, and to that assurance I cling with all my might. As I thought of shutting down my teaching career in response to the dismay (and self-pity) that I've battled in seeing my own sin more clearly, I realized, "Wait! My blog is for teachers! If God is showing me something, I had better share it with my fellow teachers so that they can profit from my mistakes!" It is in this spirit that I continue to write. But, fair warning, it's not pretty.

Part of what I have been learning, as deadlines loom and time is short, is a long-needed lesson about self-righteousness. Like high blood pressure, this sin is a silent killer. You can't even find the term in the Bible (at least not in the concordance), and teachers (especially homeschooling moms) are among those most at risk for this all-too-invisible disease. For me, revelation started with bitter fruit in my life. Jesus said, "By their fruits you shall know them." Let's start with the fruit self-righteousness bears.

In my life, self-righteousness produced bitterness, resentment, anger, judgmentalism, harsh speech, disrespect for my husband (in word and deed), contempt for others (expressed and only in my mind) and broken relationships. It has left me loveless, friendless, and discouraged. (Now, don't pity me too much. I still have love, friends, and courage as a gift from God; but there are those from whom I am estranged because of my sins.) Aha! Now we start to have words to work with that are in the concordance! Now, we can drill down into my heart and find the root lies I am believing that result in the bundle we call self-righteousness.

I asked myself, "Why do feel these things? How did I get here? What's the dynamic at work here?" Here's what I believe God's Spirit has shown me. See if you can't relate.

Someone does something unholy. Let's say that I am over a friend's house and it's around dinner, and her Christian husband comes through the door, pecks her on the cheek, and then sits down in front of the news and is lost to the family for the evening. "How rude of him!" I think inwardly. "The selfishness he evidences cannot be excused! How can he treat her that way? I wouldn't put up with it."

And so, I begin to think ill of that man. I am angry at him. I no longer have good wishes for him (love in the agape sense). I move away from him, relationally. I do not pray for their marriage; or, if I do, it's prayer for him to shape up. If nothing changes, soon I'll be estranged from my friend, too. All my thoughts of this man become colored by my contempt, my resentment, my sense of offence on the part of my friend (whether she is offended or not). I have judged him in my heart; I have weighed and measured him, and found him wanting.

Ah! Now we begin to see the first trap. There are lies mixed with truths that cause self-righteousness to be both subtle and deadly to my spiritual health and my relationships. His behavior was rude and unkind, and the selfishness was real. So far, I am correct in my estimation. Here's the thing, though. His wrong behavior cannot be excused, but it has been paid for. I am offended, but God is not. God has forgiven my friend's husband before he even asks for that forgiveness. Jesus Christ received the wrath of God on the cross for my brother in Christ. As a fellow sinner I stand at the foot of the cross with that man, in just as much need for God's forgiving grace as he is. When I fold my arms, and judge his worth, I put myself in God's place. If I were honest, I would say it out loud, "God may have forgiven him, but I have not." Wow: there's pride for you. Here's a syllogism that my husband worked out for me:

I want what God wants. (I am righteous.)
So-and-so didn't do what I want. (I am, of course, right)
So-and-so doesn't want what God wants. (And so, must be punished.)

In my pride, I wish to either add to God's wrath (so the person will be adequately--in my estimation--punished) or subtract from Jesus' finished work (reserve forgiveness until I am satisfied). I forget my own need for forgiveness, I forget Jesus's work on the Cross, and I put myself in God's place when I indulge self-righteousness. As Ken Sande of Peacemaker's Ministries so aptly puts it, "I desire, I demand, I judge, and I punish"--by thoughts, words, and actions of contempt, harshness, unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment. Such pride! Ouch! Is that really me? You bet! (I warned you that it wasn't pretty.) There's plenty in the Bible about judging others (Romans 2) and walking in unforgiveness (Matthew 6:14-15).

Can anyone else relate to my sin? Whether you can or not, please take pity on me and pray for me to see it ever more clearly and repent of it ever more diligently. I want to be more like Christ than I am yet. This is only the tip of this iceberg, and I'm sure that I'll be posting other insights on this topic: hence the title of this post--Part I.

Radical Christianity

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 10:43:00 -0500

Recently, I was running errands and flipped on talk radio. The host was replaying recent comments by Rosie O'Donnell where she said that radical Islam was as dangerous, here in America, as is radical Christianity. The host went on to ask the audience, "What is radical Christianity anyways?"

"Wow," I thought. "I would love to tell him." And here were the thoughts that flowed through my mind in quick succession:

First, my definition of radical Christianity is Jesus, hanging on a Cross.

In that I want to be like Him, I am a radical Christian; is that a threat greater to a fellow American than radical Islam?

O'Donnell's comments sparked immediate and strong applause, so there were those who agreed with her. I think she speaks for a number of people. She is very liberal politically, and (as I understood the talk show host to say) now publically claims to be gay as well. As such, it is probably true that radical Christianity threatens her more than radical Islam (although that religion is no friend of gays either). The witness of radical Christians may threaten her eternal soul, when all rise up in the judgment; this is something radical Islam can never do.

The thing that's interesting to me is that radical Christians (real ones) are not interested in forcing Old Testament practices on anyone. Radical Christians are interested in becomming daily more conformed to that Savior, hanging on His cross. We are working to serve, to bless, to extend mercy, to care for the elderly, to be good citizens, to love our husbands, and to raise little children to do all these things as well. We are homeschooling, or working at jobs where we seek to extend the love and mission of Jesus Christ. Radical Christians aren't perfect; just forgiven.

I hope I am a radical Christian; I work daily (and fail daily) at walking worthy of the gospel. We radicals are a distinct minority: politically, the only ways we threaten those who oppose God are by refusing to agree that they are morally acceptable before a Holy God and voting for those who agree with us.

Does O'Donnell know the tenets of Islam? Radical Islam would force its precepts (which are far more stringent and anti-feminist) on the entire world by force. This is explicit in the Koran. O'Donnell and friends are safe from Islam now because our President is working day and night to protect her, and because brave men and women are in harm's way so that she doesn't have to be.

As I drove into my driveway, I concluded that, in a way, she's right. In America, those who care about God's Word and attempt to live it out are her greatest threat--the aroma of death to those who are perishing. I am sorry that she has chosen the lifestyle that she has. It is pitable beyond words. I am asking Father to show her her error and give her the gift of repentance.

I also thank Him that I am a radical Christian, called to be so by His choice and His amazing grace. What a glorious calling we have!

Vessels... of what?

Thu, 3 Aug 2006 06:49:00 -0500

I have been working hard at Lampstand Press lately, and my quiet times are a lovely oasis in an otherwise grueling schedule. Since I'm writing a new speech for our upcoming seminars, I've also been in Romans, which is always a delight. There, I found myself immersed in this passage:

Romans 9:22-24 (ESV)

What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory�even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles?

What an amazing window into the true nature of the universe. More than almost any other single thing, I am a vessel of mercy. I am that, not because of anything I have done ever, but because God so decreed that I should be one. He prepared me beforehand for glory. It was by His mercy alone that I was not deemed to be a vessel of wrath.

This reminds me of another passage: 2 Cor. 4:7-12 (ESV)
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

We are vessels, which means we carry something. We are not the "something" itself, and very few people are more interested in a vessel than in what it contains. People may, from time to time, exclaim, "Oh, what a pretty table!" But it�s the stuff in the vessels that�s really wanted, not the vessels themselves. They always end up the same after fulfilling their roles: dirty dishes in the sink, and not so pretty any more! With beautiful vessels and no good things to feast upon, people would starve. People will gladly turn to completely plain vessels if there is life-giving nourishment within.

So, we who know the grace of Christ are vessels of His mercy; we have a precious treasure that we carry in our jars of clay� wow. What we are carrying, containing, filled with, and seeking to pour out, is mercy. It�s the mercy God has shown us, yes, but more importantly, it�s His mercy that He wants to show others. Earlier in Romans, Paul says, �I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish. So I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome. Romans 1:14-15 (ESV). His �obligation� is to give away what�s been entrusted to him. We are vessels of mercy�God�s mercy, which is meant as soothing, healing balm on a battered and sin-sick world. For a homeschooling mom, the most important people for me to show mercy to today are my family members: my husband and my children.

Lord, help me today to pour out Your mercy on others. As I write, as I speak, as I listen, as I pray: Lord, let Your merciful grace be what pours forth from this unworthy, yet sanctified, vessel for Your pure and holy mercy. Let those I meet today be strengthened, encouraged, lifted up, and reminded that Your heart towards them is full of love, forgiveness in Jesus, and strengthening grace. Amen.

Crushing and Fragrances

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 07:12:00 -0500

Circumstances in my life lately have been difficult. I've had a series of trials lately, and they're not over yet. But, really, they are just circumstances. What is far more interesting than the details of what's going on (which I can't share) is how I'm reacting to them (which I can!).

I was meditating on feeling "crushed" by circumstances. The Bible speaks of being crushed in several places, so I went looking this morning for Scriptures containing the word "crushed." I was hoping for help with this feeling of being crushed, and I found some. :-)

Have you ever noticed that when things are crushed, they give off an aroma? The essence of what a thing smells like is best discerned by crushing it. Think of crushed coffee beans, or crushed violets, or the aroma of a trash compactor. Smells are released when things are crushed.

It is a normal part of life to be crushed by life's circumstances, but what I've been thinking about is, "What aroma is emiting from me?" I have smelled several different ones through the recent set of trials that the Lord is leading us through.

In our first major trial of this series (and in many before, I am sad to relate) I have been a real stench to my husband, adding to his cares (which are inevitably more crushing than mine, since he bears the responsibility for leadership in difficult days) by complaining and hopeless words, and down-in-the-dumps expressions. In these cases, I only added to his load. When God proved Himself faithful, as He always does, I was ashamed and sorry for my stinky self and wished I had done better.

I have learned from experiencing God's certain and saving power that I can choose to be a fragrant aroma, like unto a crushed flower (or coffee bean?), one of hope, strength, and blessing. I can choose to trust God, to speak words of faith and comfort to my family and friends, and encourage them as we go through the trial.

Life is full of trials. It's the way we grow. No matter what trial you're in, consider what aroma the crushing of your spirit is bringing forth, and how that affects your family. Call upon the One Who was crushed for our iniquities and our transgression and ask Him to make you a pleasing aroma today!

Psalm 34:18-19 (ESV)
    The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
        and saves the crushed in spirit.
    Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
        but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

Proverbs 17:22 (ESV)
A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Isaiah 53:5 (ESV)
    But he was wounded for our transgressions;
        he was crushed for our iniquities;
    upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
        and with his stripes we are healed.

2 Cor. 4:7-12 (ESV)
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

2 Cor. 2:14-16 (ESV)
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?

Because He was crushed for me, I can ask that He make me a pleasing aroma today to my husband and family: encouraging, strengthening, and blessing them. Lord, make it so, I pray! Amen.

We are called!

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 06:44:00 -0500

Acts 19:18-20 (ESV)
Also many of those who were now believers came, confessing and divulging their practices. And a number of those who had practiced magic arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all. And they counted the value of them and found it came to fifty thousand pieces of silver. So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily.

I was struck, as I read this in my quiet time today, at the amazing witness it is when believers, led by the spirit, do things that the world finds impossible to comprehend; things that no human being would naturally do.

What is it, for instance, that leads a woman to turn from self-serving (or even god centered) pursuits to give her body and life first to a man, and then to the bearing and raising of children? Why do women endure the discomforts of pregnancy, the sleepless nights, the long days, and the endless chores associated with raising children and keeping a house well? Why do they add to these efforts the academic training of their children? What could cause them to undertake such a huge and heroic task?

How can such women possibly maintain such a counter-intuitive, counter-self, counter-cultural course in life, hour after hour, day after day, and year after year? They receive no visible rewards: they spend the best years of their lives, they remain on a single income, and the outcome of all their efforts is uncertain. They do not hope to become rich, famous, or at ease: they hope to see their husband become all that God created him to be, and hear that their children walking in the truth. But... but... it doesn't make any sense!

There is only one answer. The Spirit of the Living God empowers us. Beloved, the joy of the Lord is our strength. We are called to this labor, and we are not alone. He is working for our good and His glory! And the world is watching... and wondering!

1 Thes. 5:23-24 (ESV)
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.