Finding Joy - Homeschool Blogger

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 06:12:00 -0500

Even though it is a trendy thing at the moment and that usually makes me want to run away, I have been thinking lately about ways to reduce our family's carbon footprint, how to be greener. We have always loved nature and camping but somehow that never translated into a greener lifestyle. I just think if there are things we can reasonably do to be less wasteful and kind to our world, we should.

So Earth Day is coming up. I had considered celebrating it this year, maybe by turning off the electric gadgets and parking the car. See how much we could do, without it. Then yesterday happened. Electricity was off from 7 in the morning until 3:30 in the afternoon.

It was really an embarrassment, our lack of preparation. A family that lives to camp, and there are no flashlights with batteries in the house? Matches? It was a gray, gloomy day. And............no windows in either bathroom. We are a family that appreciates a shut bathroom door. That was a problem. Finally about noon I turned to my four Boy Scouts and said "really, Boy Scouts in the house and we cannot figure out how to light a candle?".   They got out the magnesium sticks, nearly caught my dining room on fire but we had light!

We read so many stories. We looked out the window and counted the different kind of birds hopping around our yard, probably gorging on the worms. It would have been nice if our field guides were where I had placed them on the bookshelf by the window. The imaginative games they started playing. Children sitting around having conversations, that was nice.

What would have been nicer would have been if I had not been so worried about dishes not done (dishwasher not working), laundry piled up (no, I was not desperate enough to handwash) and vacumming that very much needed to be done. It truly was a day that showed me how a better prepared home would help us deal better with whatever life throws us.

So yesterday was a good trial run. But I think I will come up with a different way to celebrate Earth Day tomorrow. Last night my husband and I went out and bought flashlights, matches and candles along with a box for storing them on the top shelf. Just to begin with. We also need to buy some more propane for the grill, maybe even a second container, because around 3, I started wondering what would be for dinner (nope, restaurants also had no power).

I have to admit I cheered when the lights came back on. So much for my pioneer spirit.

I think it is hard to instantly make the transition from our power driven life to being less dependent. Yesterday gave me a lot to think about and to work on.

Last night, when we were buying flashlight and stuff, standing in the camping section of WalMart, I said "oh I wish we could go camping!". My husband just looked at me. Oh,yeah right...............

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:41:00 -0500

We had good news today. This is probably bragging, lol, but we are very happy about this today.

Our seventeen year old son scored a 28 on his ACT test.

A 28! I told my husband I felt vindicated, I did not raise an ignorant child. Not that I really had anything to do with it, but I am taking credit anyway.

But even though his score was high enough, he feels he can do better. His math score was a bit lower than he wanted. So he is going to take it again. Maybe just having the pressure off, knowing you already have want you need will help his score improve..........

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 12:45:00 -0500

I think for me one of the greatest challenges of having so many different ages of children is having to have such a large skill set. For me anyway, that is hard. It is a different thing being a good parent to a three year old, an eleven year old and a seventeen year old. For the past few years, I think I have been forgetting to diversify my skills. I was kind of the same parent to all of them. I keep remembering the way I was with the older children, when they were younger. It is hard to explain. I wish I could find some very kind, older mom mentor who understands the way I parent, doesn't keep telling me to be more organized, who could help me understand how to nurture teenagers differently than the younger ones. I do think teenagers need nurturing, but not sure how to do it.

Anyway, this has been a good day. Not sure how long I can keep it up, lol, but I have been yelling less (I yell when I get overwhelmed, I yell a lot ) Trying to use an easy hand with the older kids, and keep the younger children busy and happy. Just now, I heard the younger children getting riled up, the middle ones were trying to play with them but getting frustrated, and the older ones were starting to heave heavy sighs and yell at everyone. So I have the younger three in the dining room painting pictures, they are happy, involved, the house once again is quiet and peaceful. I feel like I succeeded at one thing today.

For breakfast, I made pumpkin bread which was easy for me but satisfying for everyone else. (good food really does tame the savage beast) It smelled so good, I instantly wanted it to be autumn again. And I made a hot lunch. I think the days when everyone just grabs something does not work well for the younger ones. Sometimes I forgot them and by the time they ask, they are hungry and grumpy. That again is my being an older child parent. So this afternoon is so much better than some we have had.

We even did chores today and the children spent the morning watching educational shows, like Bill Nye's new one "Stuff happens" and "Liberty Kids" and "Super Why". Nothing makes my homeschool mom heart happier than seeing all the different ages of my children watching some science show together, not because I called them in and made them, but just because. I am trying to edge more towards unschooling again. Not sure if any unschoolers would own me though because we will still do some written work that is assigned. Later this afternoon, I intend to read books with the younger ones.

All in all, it has been a better day. Thank goodness.

life these days

Sat, 4 Apr 2009 06:21:00 -0500

so, back to blogging. After such a long absence, it has been hard to start back. Like, I should have this amazing new perspective or incredibly interesting things to say, to justify another post after all this time. But life just rolls on. I have missed, at times, being able to come and write about the little things that make my days happy, or unhappy. So, no. No amazing new insight.

With my feeling better but not completely well, life has been about balances lately. I will have a surge of amazing energy and start all these projects, then suddenly fizzle and have guilt instead about good plans not being acted upon just because I am tired. If anyone knows anything about thyroid though, it is a gland that regulates both metabolic and mental health. Hypothyroidism is not supposed to cause anxiety, it is supposed to cause depression but for me, the thing that finally caused me to seek medical help was not just the overwhelming fatigue or feeling I was not quite the person I used to be, it was these horrible panic attacks that came at night. Not just worry over this or that, but fear tinged with hysteria. An inability to calm down or reason with myself. It was like being in hell. Am I ever going to be a good girl now. lol So, I feel cautious about becoming too tired or pushing myself too hard. It wouldn't just be a matter of laying down to a good night's sleep, but a very scary night. One thing that has come out of this which I think is an important lesson sent from my Heavenly Father, is that I need to simplify my life. I was never one with a million places to be, but my disorganization along with my feeling that I needed to be on top of everything created undue pressure on myself. I am sorting through and finding the things that truly bring both meaning and joy in my life. And mostly that is my family. My children.

After that afternoon with the field guides, Levi keeps bringing me the insect guide and asking me what that "amazing creature" is. We go over names and I have shown him how to tell how long one of those "amazing creatures" actually is. His short, stubby little fingers position themselves on the line and raise up in the air this long or that long. It is adorable and my heart swells every time.

Another thing is sitting down with the family after my husband comes home from work and before dinner to read the scriptures together. We just take one chapter, however long it is and go around reading verses. There is a serenity and a comfort found in that ritual. Like a warm blanket. The other night, when I was helping my six year old with her verse, telling her word for word, because she has not quite taken off in reading though she is getting there quickly, there were words she knew and could read herself. What a joy that was! We both giggled together. I know those verses she reads can be a trial to the other children, and I have thought sometimes perhaps we should not let her interfere with the comfortable flow. But, that her first non-reading book words were read in the scriptures, the same as her older siblings, that is part of our family and it gives me great joy. Her as well.

Other things are starting to come back to me. Having the children help me cook. Sitting down to a large stack of books and a cuddle with the little ones. I know you would think you cannot be too tired to read to a child, but you can. And you can be too tired to find joy in it even when you make yourself do it.

It feels sometimes like I have been given a second chance. I know that is melodramatic. It is not like I am recovering from cancer or anything remotely serious. But I thought I was going to be tired for the rest of my life. I thought it was part of being middle aged. I was trying to find ways to be the wife and mother I wanted to be, while being tired. I thought that was just a life lesson that needed to be learned. Purification of my soul. I feel like I did come through the refiner's fire. I know things now my younger self did not know. About priorities and balance. But now, I have the chance to take that knowledge and the energy of my old self, or younger self I guess and go forward into a new life.

I have been cautious about making myself a list, too much pressure some days, but I have an idea in my head about goals for my house. I am deep cleaning one room at a time, while the children maintain the other rooms. Simplifying the possessions in them, either through organization or elimination. Making them calm, serene, comfortable spaces for us to live as a family, a happy family. I do have some goals, some ideas of parts of my life I want to focus on. I have some ideas for changing this blog around a little, making it more like other ones I have seen. Where things are divided into themes, so I can write and keep tracking of my progress in these areas rather than just randomly blurt things out. I have been keeping this blog for three years! Wow. I cannot believe that. I was looking through some old posts yesterday and remembering good things. It would be nice to organize my favorite posts as well. One things at a time though. Always my problem.

This already feels like a beautiful day to me. I have slept soundly for five nights in a row, what a blessing. I wake up in the morning feeling happy and ready to start the day. The children are still asleep, except for Ryan who is taking his ACT today. He had a father's blessing last night and after that, I feel very confident that he will be able to accomplish his goals today. Or at least, accomplish what he needs to,what will allow God's purpose in his life to unfold. I guess Samantha is awake in Moscow as well. Our General Conference is this weekend, where church leaders speak to us from Salt Lake via satelite(ok, seriously, homeschoolblogger needs a spell check! I have no idea how to make that word right). Eight hours in four sessions over two days of hearing the Word. It is like a balm to my soul every time and especially welcome right now. And I have a painting project to do, between sessions today. I am painting my old hutch robbin's egg blue. Bold choice huh? I may, if it is too bright, antique it with wood stain. I have been wanting to do this for years! It will be lovely and just in time for Easter.

Wed, 1 Apr 2009 12:42:00 -0500

Life has been very good lately.

About two months ago now, my health was becoming very very bad. To the point where I ended up in the hospital for awhile. Two days, not that long. In that time, though it was discovered that I was anemic enough to require a blood transfusion, in fact I had developed a heart murmur and that I had hypothyroidism. To a severe extent, it must have been developing for a long time. My TSH number was 25, if that means anything to anyone reading. It was a hard time, but out of that, came an upturn in my health that has brought about many good things.

I am not completely leveled out and have a rough day now and then. That thyroid is a sneaky little gland that can affect your health in extreme ways. But the fix is easy. I take a small pill every morning, two now actually and have my blood checked now and then to see if my medication level is correct.

My health is so much better. Even with my saying it could be a tad better and I have rough days, on a good day, I would say I have not felt this good in eight years, since before I was pregnant with my seventh child.

I had stopped blogging because I felt so badly. And both my mothering and my homeschooling had become nothing to write about. Just barely getting the job done. Just barely. And some days I felt like not at all.

But now! Now I have energy. I have become much more involved. The house is still trying to recover, but then eight years ago, I still did not have an immaculate house either! lol

And I find I am finding joy in motherhood again. Little moments are starting again. Like yesterday afternoon, sitting on the front porch looking through our nature books with my three youngest. Or having the kids help me cook dinner every night. Okay, first of all, I am cooking dinner every night. Second, I have the patience to let the little ones help and I actually enjoy it. lol

We just came back from a visit down to my parents' house in Georgia. I have some pictures share from that trip. And I need to update about my children's schooling and where they are. Good things.

But that will have to wait for tomorrow.

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 13:22:00 -0600

Just when you thought I was gone forever........an update!

We are in Pennsylvania. Not sure how I feel about it. It is beautiful, the people are surprisingly nice (for a bunch of Yankees.....sorry, my Georgia slips out sometimes), we have a wonderful house, life is good. But it just doesn't feel like home. Walt tells me I do not have to love, love, love every place we live. So true. This place will be nice for now.

Thanksgiving with family was wonderful. The kids are still buzzing about cousins and when will we see cousins again. We had a quiet, simple, warm Christmas in our new home, complete with a fire in the fireplace and a big dinner. We have since accumulated about two feet of snow in our yard with more coming this weekend. The snow is nice but I am dreading the mud that is sure to follow.

Samantha is in Russia, going on the third day. Very happy and excited to be there. It sounds like she has a nice place to live and good food, her Mom is happy. Ryan has bought a 69 VW bus to restore, my hippy child. I went with him up into New York to buy it, drove over the Erie Canal, which we thought was amazing, and then drove back home in a blizzard. I do not recommend driving 69 VW bus' in blizzards! But we made it and he is busy restoring it.

Hopefully soon I can start writing more often. I miss it. But in the meantime, a family picture taken shortly after Christmas........

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:40:00 -0600

Last post for awhile, dh comes home tonight and then the madness begins. The older children have been so great helping pack and get the house ready but there is still so much to do. We are using a new company this time, they will deliver a 28' foot trailer tomorrow, which we pack of course, then they will drive it to Pennsylvania for us. Not out of the goodness of their hearts of course, but I am grateful anyway! After the trailer is loaded up, we are headed over to Utah for a big family thanksgiving. I still scratch my head over that one. I did not marry a Utah boy, I married a Louisiana boy, but over the years, a migration occured and so we head to Utah for family things. Anyway, we will have a wonderful, loud, rambunctitious family holiday. Then we drive to Pennsylvania and our new home. Which is not so old, but nestled back in the woods and already has hills for sledding right in our yard. Looking forward to a snowy winter!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

near tragedy averted

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 12:17:00 -0600

Y'all are going to be so relieved to hear this........Levi has decided he does like Winnie the Pooh after all. I know, I know, what a relief!!!!

This morning he screamed that he did not want to watch the Winnie the Pooh movie, he did not like Winnie the Pooh. I told him that was not allowed! Everybody must like Winnie the Pooh! I said it quite firmly and sternly, there was no room for argument. Still, he said in a sulky voice "no I don't". I went to the grocery store for shortages from the weekend, and I mean it, the whole time I was thinking how am I going to get this kid to like Winnie the Pooh? I mean, I am all for individuality and all, but not liking Winnie the Pooh? Did you get switched at the hospital? Can you actually be of my body????? Luckily by the time I came home, all the other kids, their superior genetics shining through clearly, had convinced him that Winnie the Pooh is the best ever.

All is right in my world once again.

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 13:39:00 -0600

Random bits.........

We made reservations yesterday for the moving truck and Walt's plane ticket back home. So it all feels more official now. Sunday he is to sign the lease on our house. Not old, though very much in the country with lots of trees and privacy. Can you believe I have not even begun to start packing boxes? And he is due back Friday? Oh my. Know what I am going to be doing next week.

Today the house is jumping. Everyone going every direction. My oldest daughter is fixing to leave for a day with friends. My oldest son is teaching a Red Cross first aid class, which he loves doing. My second oldest son is on his first date, since he just turned sixteen last week. (afternoon movie and lunch, double date with friends.....I have such good boys!). My second oldest daughter is waiting to curl my hair. The two middle boys just came home from their basketball game, and me along with them. Three youngest munchkins have no official plans other than jumping off the furniture and being monkeys. That should keep them and me busy. Third oldest son(11) wants to grill steaks tonight. Somewhere in that, we need to straighten up the house for the Sabbath and take baths and lay out clothes and I have a Sunday School lesson to finish preparing. And a house to pack!!!!!!! lol

I dyed my hair back to brown. I loved the red but I never came to feel when I looked in the mirror that I was looking at me.

I found pannetone at Safeway today! I have been looking all over town for it! Joy. I bought two, just in case I eat it all, want more and cannot find it. Yes, I love it that much. Should learn how to bake it myself I suppose, but pannetone baked by a Georgia girl probably tastes different.

Ok, curling iron is smoking by now. I have hardly released all my random bits but enough.

Oh, and homeschool this week was mostly reading books, history books, science books, book books. It was wonderful. Most of the time, everyone (youngest five) were curled up on my bed. Oh, and scripture books, with everyone. Good week.

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:57:00 -0600

Have you noticed my life is a little blah lately? I have! I think God was trying to give me a gentle nudge last month because I was asked to do two different creative projects at church, both of which were challening and I immersed myself in completely, I had those creative vibes going, I prayed daily for inspiration to guide my thoughts and both ended up very satisfyingly done.

One was a lesson to our women's group about keeping an eternal perspective in life. I researched, studied scriptures, did visual aids........it was an intellectual wrestle, lol. I think it went well. I felt good about the ideas I presented. One woman cried, one very smart woman said I taught her something new, and I came away feeling I did not embarrass myself. lol Always my aim in these things.

The second was for our Fall Festival at church. I was in charge of the Relief Society9our women's group) game and I planned a Knight's Gauntlet. A series of three tests to prove themselves brave, strong and wise. We had a room with two doors, for in and out. So the door in......I had two trees there, and a tarp thrown down and bunched up like a raging river, with a board(bridge) and some toy alligators(fierce sea monsters). That was the first test. The second, I had our stuffed dragon, with a barstool made into a mountain, some of my son's balloon swords (he makes balloon animals and other things) and they had to fight the fierce dragon and defeat it by knocking it off the mountain. The final test was answering a riddle. I had a minimum of decorations but they seemed to be just enough. Some large castle blocks we have....I made some castle ruins with them. One of my sons built a large castle facade that was in front of the exit door and of course our suit of armor we have nicknamed Sir Bob from our own living room. lol It was fun planning, fun doing. Though I was a bit jealous of the ones doing doughnuts on a string, and the fishing game and such. My mind just does not work that way! Anyway, it felt very good to be creative and planning something and involved rather than worrying and fretting.

I do think these opportunities were divine nudges, to awaken my creativity again and have me using my gifts, such as they are, to benefit my family. Our late beloved prophet told the story of some advice given him by his father when he was discouraged that shaped his life "Forget yourself and go to work". I am starting to feel creative in lessons again, looking up ideas. I would love to plan some fun way to celebrate Thanksgiving this year. I thought about turning off the electricity and using candles and our firepit for cooking. Trying to live life like a Puritan does not sound like much fun! Maybe we could be the native Americans, lol.

Anyway, I was just reflecting this morning about how uninspiring my life has been lately. How grateful I am that my Heavenly Father has given me such an abundance of blessings, such wonderful children and the chance to teach them. How that truly has been my joy in times past. Time to forget myself and go to work?

This morning I have a headache myself, a periodic thing. I get them for two or three days at a time, but then.......sweet relief they are gone until the next month. Strange as it sounds, I am quite cheerful thinking about how good I will feel tomorrow morning. lol But then I have some sick munchkins. Some have headaches and sore throats, some have sick tummies, some have a combination. Some are yet to be sick, the three year old is well after three days of being quiet and cuddly. Glad he is well, wish he were still quiet! lol So we are having a slow, cuddle up in blankets kind of day. We all miss Daddy.

My goals this week.......a trek to the Nature Center to study leaves and autumn. An art project, studying Matisse's art and doing collages. Finishing our book and starting a new one. Getting well.