Cross Reflections - Homeschool Blogger

Joyful Killing Fields

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 14:31:00 -0500

Last Sunday, my husband Steve, preached from Colossians 3:1-11. His sermon was powerful to me and was very motivating in regards to killing sin (or as Paul puts it in Colossians 3:5a – put to death therefore what is earthly in you.) A day later as I was reflecting more on that whole passage and the one following I was filled with excitement about putting sin to death and clothing myself in Christ likeness instead. I was taking a look at all the sins that I could see in my heart and embracing the killing of sin with joy and confidence in God’s ability to work. As I was talking to Steve about this he encouraged me to write a blog post about joyful killing fields – a play on words from an old movie title. I filed that away in the back of my mind to get on with the task at hand – our first week of school.

There are two strange phenomenons related to the beginning of each school year. First, the excitement I always feel is nothing short of miraculous considering the discouragement I usually feel at the end of the year, in this case just six weeks prior. Second, the ability homeschooling has to bring out the sin in our hearts that had been hiding during our school break. Things like anger, conflict, complaining, harsh words, and selfishness pop out throughout the day like a field full of prairie dogs.

Then it happened. A big conflict arose between one of my children and I. I basically felt like I was in Jr. High again because of the way I responded. I did not act like a mature and wise mother. Then, just last night I was too quick to react to my husband twice in a row before hearing him out (which would have cleared up everything by the way) - a sure sign of foolishness says Proverbs. I went to bed last night less than joyful in the face of my sin, yet really endeavoring to remember that my faith is in Christ to make me righteous not my perfect behavior.

This morning I got out my journal and was ready to repent in my time with the Lord when a conversation that I had with one of my daughters this week came to mind. She had been struggling with a particular sin and was confessing to me that she was convicted not just about her sin but also about her motives for desiring not to sin. She wondered if she wanted to kill the sin because it was not glorifying to God or because she wanted control over it personally. This made me also think about my motives. As I repented of my sins of the tongue I expressed to the Lord that I wanted my motive to be based on a desire to glorify him with my speech and extend grace to others. God reminded me once again of the joy involved in killing sin. Oh it is hard to do! It feels so unnatural to respond in a way that doesn’t feed the flesh. But there is joy in the struggle because I am cooperating with the Holy Spirit in my sanctification. Think about that – I am partnering with a Holy God on the basis that my standing before Him is already perfect through Christ. To borrow the phrase - I am becoming in practice what I already am by divine act. That is truly incredible! I can fight with the knowledge that I am assured victory. I often don’t want to fight at all, I want to be a passive observer and let God do it all without any effort from me. He hasn’t chosen to work that way. I struggle with all his energy that he powerfully works in me. Colossians 1:29

My heart truly is a joyful killing field. May God continue to give me desire to be in the battle. Even when I have a defeat I am assured the final victory! And those defeats themselves become victories right now when they move me on to be more like Christ.

Right Suspicions

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:54:00 -0500

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a nagging suspicion about God. How can I adequately sum it up in a short blog post when I can see traces of it lurking throughout my life? It’s been a dark shadow behind every joy, and if I were truly honest, a motivator for good behavior. The gist of it is this – I believe that God is out to get me, to teach me a lesson, ready to dole out some sort of tragedy in my life to prove a point to me.

I have experienced pain in life. I’ve walked through dark valleys in my own soul as well as in my circumstances, however, my pain never quite measures up to the pain that I suspect will be inflicted on me when I least expect it. Basically I live with a nagging fear of what might lie just around the corner.

I’m aware of the right answers about the goodness of God, his faithfulness, and my right standing before God because of Jesus. His character always does the right thing, every trial he hands me is for good. So why do I still suspect him to be harsh, angry, and vindictive?

It’s because I am a sinner. At the very core of who I am lies unbelief. I’ve been confessing this to God for years now – it is a besetting sin for me. I know it is wrong and I desire to kill it. God is revealing to me just how serious this sin is. At its core it denies the gospel. It says to me that I must attain to a righteous standard to earn favor with God. It turns me into a legalist who is afraid of one misstep that will bring down wrath and condemnation. How very opposed to everything I’ve been writing about for the last few years that is. It’s shocking to me as I look at it closely.

I should have suspicions but not about God. I should be suspicious of my own heart. Somewhere in the deepest part of me I want to atone for my own sin. God forbid it! I could never really want this - or could I? This is what my sinful nature says when it wants to earn favor (translated in my mind- a pain free existence) with God. It says that maybe if I’m good enough I can avoid hardship. It’s laughable on one hand but actually very serious.

Specifically here is what I should suspect about myself. I desire a pain free existence more than I value Christ. This is a tendency for me, therefore I MUST be about repenting at every little occurrence of this unbelief. I MUST be preaching the gospel to myself. I MUST be trusting in the character of God. I must do this not because God will be more merciful to me if I do but because I will love him more fully if I take pains to eradicate this erroneous belief. The joy I experience in Christ will not have a dark shadow lurking behind it. Oh how I yearn for that.

Christ’s work on the cross for me is done, I’m accepted by God because of it and nothing that happens to me in this life is done to me by God in order to atone for my sin. Everything is done to conform me to the image of his son.

I echo the words of Sam Storms in his book The Hope of Glory when he says:

“ I don’t want to “be my self,” I want to be like Christ. I don’t want to grow into the fullness of who I am but into the fullness of who Christ is."

I don’t want to over analyze why I have these suspicions and embrace the full knowledge of why I am the way I am. I want to eradicate it from my life and move on to be more like Christ. I cry tears of joy this morning because I know God desires this too and by his grace it will happen.

Anchored By The Gospel

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:37:00 -0500

Missions, evangelism, personal holiness, love, prayer, devotions, bible study, the Holy Spirit, worship, the persecuted church, self sacrifice, spiritual disciplines, humility, spiritual warfare, eternal perspective, creation, sacrificial giving, hospitality, purity, compassion, serving, joy, faith, and fellowship. This is a small list from the top of my head in no particular order of issues or actions that have driven me at some point or another throughout my Christian life. I can recall memories from each item of times when that particular thing burned in my heart, some of them for a short season, some of them on and off frequently.

When I look at this list I see that each item is biblical, none of them are sinful (that would be another list!) they are good things. So why do I bring this up? This morning I find myself very grateful that God has revealed to me what was missing from all of the above for so many years of my life – the gospel! I was living a life tossed to and fro from one conviction to another without the anchor of the gospel. Those items on the list were full of self effort, desire to win God’s approval, desire to be good in and of myself, desire to look good to others, and desire to find a key - a secret to a happy and successful Christian life. Was I a believer? Yes, I was, I truly had trusted in Christ’s work on the cross for me. The problem was that I lacked understanding of the gospel’s first importance, of the gospel’s power to fuel the actions and issues that I found important, of the true treasure found in Christ alone apart from any of my good works. I cannot overstate this point enough.

Here it is in plain and simple language. Through Jesus I have perfect standing before the Father because he perfectly obeyed God in every area and then gave me credit for it through faith in him. Through Jesus I can live a victorious life because he has broken the power of sin in me. Through Jesus I can abound in good works because of his power given to me through the Holy Spirit. Through Jesus I have inexhaustible treasures for this life and the life to come so much so that I find it difficult to write this concisely. In the gospel there is enough simple and profound truth to learn about for the rest of my days and never come to the end of it.

I see more clearly now that my sins can be traced back to not living and trusting in the gospel on a moment-by-moment basis. This is to be my life long task – to grow in my understanding and application of the truths of the gospel.

All the years of being tossed about seeking self-righteousness or serving with self-effort have been forgiven. All the days since having my heart opened to the treasure of Christ that have been ruled by sin have been forgiven. All of the ways that I have not relished Christ above all have been forgiven. Every moment wasted, every opportunity for good that I have squandered – forgiven. Every day of missed devotions, prayerlessness, unkind words, and self-centered thoughts has been forgiven.

Oh the joy of having my soul anchored by the gospel. Perhaps the anchor was there all along but I lived oblivious to it. Now that I am aware of it I want my life closely tethered to it by God’s grace. How thankful I am for God’s extreme mercy and patience and leading. Without him my life is nothing and I have him because of Christ. The gospel is amazing!

Looking Back...Looking Forward

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 18:53:00 -0500

On Memorial Day last month I wrote the following post.

I turned 40 several months ago and it’s been interesting to me how much more I have reflected back on my life this year more than other years. Though I don’t particularly feel it physically there is this awareness that I am probably closer to eternity, my life may be more or less half over. What a sobering thought. In some ways it seems to have whizzed by, God knew what he was talking about in his word when he declared that our life is only a breath.

Recently I joined Facebook though I am not very into it yet. Because of Facebook however, I have been reconnecting with team members from a mission trip that I took when I was 16. This too has been a catalyst to think about what my life has held since that time. I remember well sitting on a beach in Tahiti during that trip and writing these words:

When all is said when this life is through
Nothing will matter but what was done for you.

What followed in that poem were the thoughts of an imagined old woman looking back on her life regretting that she had not spent it for the Lord.

Years later I read John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life. How I resonated with the message of that book. One of the greatest fears I have carried around is the fear of wasting my life. So here I am half done with this life, has it been wasted? When I look back I could see the love of self and laziness that has consumed so many hours of my life as I’ve pursued entertainment and ease. I could look back and see the sins that have dogged me from that time as a teenager. Pride and desire for recognition, fear, sinful thoughts, and attitudes in my heart that still exist. I could look back and see the ministry that I’ve been a part of in missions, in the church, in my own home and neighborhoods. I could remember a lot of things, and I do; yet what has surprised me most as I’ve reflected back has been the hope I feel.

In my pride I can tend to look at not wasting my life as doing something “important”, noteworthy, as if the only way it would not be wasted is if others would want to read about me when I’m dead. Being 40 has made me realize that there’s a pretty good chance I’ll never be a famous anything and I’ve made peace with that. Some of those childhood dreams have finally died which is not so bad since they were full of self-glory anyway.

Instead, by God’s grace, this is what I see when I look back: a faithful God who has led me, spoken to me so many times in very personal ways, provided for my needs, given me so much grace through so many struggles, enabled me to be a faithful wife and mother, given me increasing desire for Himself, and fills my hears with awe and worship for Him. Only I know the real thoughts and motives behind any good ministry that I’ve been a part of which is why I can say all the more – God is so gracious to me – He truly uses the fools of this world.

I have hope because that same faithful God is unchanging and will be with me to the end. I have hope because by God’s grace as I look back somehow I’m seeing Him more than me. I’m seeing that despite me, God was at work. I have hope because the gospel has been in increasing measure a source of true joy to me and I know that it can only be because of God. I have hope because the wise, sovereign, God of the universe will use even me in my quiet corner of the world for his kingdom purposes.

I never even got this posted onto the blog because I was besieged by despair, feelings of failure and discouragement and basically the opposite of all I had just genuinely written about. It felt as if God was testing me to see if I really believed what I had just written in a moment of inspiration. Was I willing to really have my gaze focused on Him rather than myself and my circumstances? I am ashamed to say that the struggle continued for quite some time as so many feelings of inadequacy plagued me. Is my hope truly in Christ or is it not? Why do I so quickly fall apart at the first sign of hardship?

It’s because I need Christ every moment of my life in the highs and the lows and every in between time. There is absolutely no substitute for trusting in the righteousness of Christ. I am always in need of a Savior and must press on during the peaks and valleys of my experience to know that I am only acceptable to God because of what Christ did for me. He lived the perfect life because I can never even come close to perfection, in 40 years or a lifetime, and I get credit for His perfect life. AMAZING!

I think I was gloriously caught up in a moment of looking back with an uncharacteristically positive view point on Memorial Day and God wanted to also remind me that I can look forward – even on a bad day or a bad week or month and know that I still have that right standing with Him because of Christ. All that I wrote before is true and once again I just needed to repent, believe the gospel, and trust in the Lord. I can look back at my more recent history and give thanks to God for His ever patient mercy toward this fickle sinner!

Change is Simple...But Hard!

Fri, 15 May 2009 09:32:00 -0500

My friend Suzanne has learned a good technique to use for remembering sermons or seminars. Focus on one thing. Is there one thing that stands out, one thing to apply, one thing that will trigger your memory later? Focus on that.

I haven’t set out very consciously to do this but there are times that I find it happening naturally anyway. My brain can only absorb so much unfortunately, so sometimes one thing stands out and sticks with me months and even years later. I will find myself contemplating the one thing often in various circumstances and it is beneficial to my soul.

Here is an example. A year ago our sister church hosted a seminar entitled How People Change. The teaching was good and full of examples but one thing the seminar presenter said is what has stuck with me. He said that when you get right down to it there are only two verses from the Bible that you really need to focus on in order to change. Mark 1:15b ...repent and believe in the gospel and Proverbs 3:5a trust in the Lord with all your heart.... Let me clarify that he wasn’t suggesting the rest of the Bible was useless but rather that changing our behavior is simpler than we usually make it.

Do you have a sinful habit you want to quit? Repent – acknowledge it as sin and turn from it, believe in the gospel, which says that Christ has paid for that sin and has broken the power over it, and trust in Him to give you the grace you need to fight it.

Is there bitterness in your heart toward another person? Repent, despite feelings we usually know deep down that unforgiveness is wrong. Confess that to God; believe in the gospel that tells you how much Christ has forgiven you. Even your unforgiveness was enough sin to cause God’s wrath to be upon you but Christ has taken away that condemnation. Amazing! Trust in the Lord to give you a heart of love instead.

See, simple isn’t it? Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest. Especially when your feelings go against them. Usually these steps need to be repeated over and over, it is definitely not a magic formula for success but it works because it moves our focus from our sin and ourselves to our Savior. Think about it.

Repent – that means we have to acknowledge and hate our sin enough to want to be rid of it. In doing so we are required to turn to God.

Believe in the gospel – after we’ve taken our nasty sin to God he gives us the antidote – Jesus paid for it on the cross completely and if he cancelled our record of sin he surely will be faithful to eradicate it from our lives. Our eyes rest on him

Trust in the Lord with all your heart- does doubt creep into your heart when it comes to that thing you’ve been struggling with? Don’t you see that’s because your gaze has drifted from the Savior to yourself. That’s why we must always trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding. He is always faithful to his promises. If we cling to His character we find the assurance we need.

Have I implemented this perfectly in my life since that seminar? I wish! But, the last time I was wrestling so much with my pride I felt God reminding me through it. “You know what you need to do Joy – repent and believe the gospel, trust me.” Did it happen immediately? Again, I wish! But God is patient and he keeps speaking tome about that one thing I need to do. I’m sure he will continue to remind me until the day I die.

Repent, believe the gospel, and trust in the Lord with all your heart!

Misplaced Pride

Mon, 4 May 2009 08:25:00 -0500

In my last post I made this statement: There is no mistaking it, as one who belongs to Christ, I will be tamed little by little throughout my life, the question is how difficult will I make the process? Will I fight against it and make it more difficult on myself or will I gladly bow, submit, and humble myself before my Sovereign Lord?

The week following was a case in point example of how miserable resisting makes me. I often feel inspired by biblical truth, have good desires, pray for the Holy Spirit to work in me, and then fall flat on my face at the first sign of hardship. The natural result of such episodes should be humility, and sometimes it is, but more often than not pride rears its ugly headfirst. It goes something like this:

I feel angry over the situation/conflict etc. – I am not seeing the problem as a means of sanctifying grace.

I hold a grudge against whoever interrupted my perfect universe – I am setting myself up to be a god.

I wallow in discouragement or self-pity over my failure to respond properly – God may remember that I am dust but I surely don’t. I believe that I should be perfect which, God forbid, is a way of saying I don’t need Christ.

I may turn my anger upwards and get irritated with God for what seems like His lack of help – this is ultimate pride, saying that I could do a better job than God himself.

My problem is that my pride is seriously misplaced. It is consumed with thoughts about myself. I become the center of the world and God is pushed into a place of impotence in my mind. It seems shocking even as I write it but that is what I am declaring by my thoughts, words, and actions when I let this response of a lack of humility reign in me. God reigns over everything: rulers, nations, all creation, and the hearts of all people, it should be easy to be humble in light of the magnitude of who He is. My pride should rest on Him. I am so thankful that God deals with me according to grace through our Lord Jesus Christ. May it never be that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. God does all things for His glory, He never tires of working to make us like His Son. All praise belongs to Him.

Lessons From a Shrew

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 08:56:00 -0500

My fifteen-year-old daughter currently has a part in the play The Taming of The Shrew. I’ll be honest and tell you that I knew very little of the story except for the obvious revealed in the title. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect as I watched the dress rehearsal last week. I had a good idea that it would be funny and that a shrew would be tamed by the end. I was correct on both accounts. The play was hilarious; the actors and sound effects guy did an outstanding job of working together to achieve over two hours of slapstick comedy at its best. And yes, a shrew did end up tamed by the end. What I wasn’t expecting was God to speak to me personally through this play.

Kate, also known as the shrew, has a moving speech at the end regarding a wife’s duty to submit to her husband. In true Shakespearian language she refers to him as her lord and sovereign and essentially says that since it is his job to care for her why should she offer war instead of peace? She then speaks of placing her hand under his foot in submission and actually lays prostrate before him and does so. His response to this is to rise from his seated position to lift her up to where he stands. He then kisses her and it becomes obvious that both parties are blessed by this change in her.

I don’t know Shakespeare’s intention in writing this play and whether he was poking fun at marriage or women and men’s roles or not and frankly, I don’t really care because I know God’s intention for me in watching this play.

I am, more often than not, a shrew. God undertakes my salvation, sees to it that I am protected and provided for and yet I live to please myself and I often offer war rather than making peace by submitting to God’s Word, His ways, and His means. When He asks me to do what I don’t understand do I complain or comply? Do I place my hand under his foot in subjection? He promises to treat me in the same manner that Petruchio treats Kate when I do. He lifts me up to where He is and showers me with affection. He is glorified and I am truly happy. How do I know this? It’s a promise from His word.

Humble yourselves under the mighty hand (or foot) of God and in due time He will exalt you, casting all your care on Him because He cares for you.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him is the dominion (or glory) forever and ever. Amen. I Peter 5:6,7,10

Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. I must not make war with my earthly husband or my heavenly one. There is no mistaking it, as one who belongs to Christ, I will be tamed little by little throughout my life. The question is, how difficult will I make the process? Will I fight against it and make it more difficult on myself or will I gladly bow, submit, and humble myself before my Sovereign Lord?

Be Content

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:30:00 -0500

Contentment, I love the sound of that word. There’s just something about it that strikes an image of peaceful resting in my mind. In the last few months I have wrestled more with this verb than usual and really that’s what it has been, a wrestling match. Picture me on the floor trying to pin down contentment and all the while what has been needed is simply for me to stop resisting and let contentment pin me.

Never mind that my discontent has been petty. The more time I spend condemning myself for the pettiness of my discontentment issues the less time I spend in surrender. When a spirit of discontent comes upon me it must be dealt with no matter how petty. It is an inner struggle affecting my soul and threatening my walk with Christ. Is that not enough to take it seriously? If it is over silly superficial things or if it is over dramatic heart wrenching situations, the command is to be content and the promise from God’s word is that it is possible because we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength Phil 1:3.

There is so much to be said on this topic. My short blog post will barely scratch the surface so I recommend these things that have been helpful to me.

First, read God’s word regularly. I find that the more I get to know God through his word the more I can trust him to be the good, wise, merciful, and sovereign God that he is. Just this morning I finished reading Jeremiah. What a blessing that book has been to me. It ends in a somewhat peculiar manner. After chapter after chapter about God’s impending judgment, there is a story about Jehoiachin. Jehoiachin was the king of Judah living in captivity in Babylon. Nebuchadnezzar had died and was succeeded by his son who was named Evil-merodach (don’t let the name fool you). Evil, I’ll call him for short, had a strange compassion upon Jehoiachin who had been sitting in prison from the time he was 18 until he was 37. According to Matthew Henry, who I consulted as I realized I didn’t know who Jehoichin was, Jehoiachin had been imprisoned as a young prince. Imagine that – from a life of privilege and luxury for 18 years to a life in a Babylonian prison for 19 years. Suddenly you are sprung from prison and treated kindly by the king. You are given a place of honor and provided for all the remaining days of your life. I like what Matthew Henry says about this story:

“Let those whose afflictions have been lengthened out encourage themselves with this instance; the vision will at the end speak comfortably; and therefore wait for it. While there is life there is hope. Though we now suffer we shall not always suffer.”

In the same commentary Matthew Henry sums up the book of Jeremiah with several points. One of them is this:

“That no word of God shall fall to the ground, but the event will fully answer the prediction, and the unbelief of man shall not make God’s threatenings, any more than his promises of no effect.”

More reinforcement for my feeble soul that God can be trusted therefore I can be content. Reading his word is proof.

Besides reading the Bible I recommend doing a general search on the word contentment. Write out each of these verses and commit them to memory or hang them where you’ll be sure to review them regularly.

Listening to messages on contentment can also be very beneficial. Here are a few that have been helpful to me in recent months.
•    Contentment – A Peaceful Resting Place, by Kim Erickson
•    Satisfied with Favor, by Delaine Gamache
•    The Quest For Contentment, by Dave Harvey

One last thing that I have found helpful is reading books on the subject. There are many but here are two of my favorites:
1.    The Art of Divine Contentment by Thomas Watson and
2.    Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot

Wherever we are in life, no matter what size the pebble in our shoe that causes the discontent, we are always treated better than we deserve because of Jesus!

Be Glad To Be Humbled and Boast Only in Christ

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 11:37:00 -0500

I’m not the most consistent blogger, obviously, but I do find it funny how God will remind me of this blog. In my reading of Jeremiah this morning God spoke to me regarding pride and I was thinking that I should write a post about it. The problem is that a few posts ago I made a list for myself of topics to cover for a while. I’ve written about the first two, and honestly couldn’t even remember what was coming next. So, a little reluctantly I pulled up that old post with the list to see what was next and if my impressions this morning could fit in somehow. I wanted to chuckle when I saw what was next. Be glad to be humbled and boast only in Jesus Christ. When I wrote that a few weeks a go I was coming from a different angle and didn’t exactly expect to be reminded of it through Jeremiah but God’s words are much better than my thoughts on this subject anyway. So here goes.

In Jeremiah 50 God is speaking through Jeremiah once again to tell a nation of its impending judgment. This time it’s Babylon. The indictment is that they have oppressed Israel, are full of pride, and idolatrous. There’s not much different there from the indictments toward the other nations that are also being judged. The thing that caught my attention was verse 31 and 32, which sound so similar to other verses about pride.

Verse 31 says, “Behold I am against you, O proud one, declares the Lord God of hosts.” That reminds me of verses like James4:6 and I Peter 5:5 that say that God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble.
Verse 32 says “the proud one shall stumble and fall, with none to raise him up.” That verse reminds me of the verse in Proverbs16:18: Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Though these verses in Jeremiah are directed very specifically toward Babylon, the other verses like them are very general verses pertaining to pride. So my question this morning was, how can this proud heart of mine be humble? I don’t want God’s opposition and I don’t want to fall. Thankfully the answer lies in the gospel. I can humble myself by throwing myself on the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, trusting in his saving righteousness, and knowing my own spiritual poverty. Which makes me think of this verse. “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich yet for your sake he became poor so that you through his poverty might be made rich.” 2 Corinthians 8:9

I want to be glad to be humbled – to remember that I add nothing to my salvation, which leads me to boast only in Jesus Christ. I can be humbled by circumstances easily but unless they lead me to the conclusion of my absolute need for a savior, it's not really true humility - only self centered embarrassment - pride in disguise.

Eternal Life is Not a Consolation Prize

Fri, 6 Mar 2009 09:05:00 -0600

God spoke to me this morning about my attitude. What he revealed through an obscure passage of scripture was profound to me. I was reading along in Jeremiah 45, God’s message to Baruch, the scribe who was assigned to write down all of the messages from the Lord that were spoken through the prophet Jeremiah. He says to Baruch in verse 5: “And do you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not…” Why was he not supposed to seek them? The verse goes on to say that God is bringing destruction on the land (He has a bigger purpose) and that Baruch will be given his life as a prize of war. Here’s where I discovered my attitude - I felt a bit sorry for Baruch. My thinking when like this: “poor Baruch has to content himself with only his life.” If you could hear the sound effects in my head you would hear that needle scratching a record sound as I think, “whoa, wait a minute, something’s not right with that attitude.”

First of all the God of the universe just gave a very personal message to Baruch. That in itself is astounding. Secondly he has promised to give him his life as a prize of war in a situation that is very dire – life and death. In a life and death situation I would be very grateful to have my life preserved. I was thinking Baruch got the consolation prize, personal greatness vs. salvation.

How often I am guilty of this sinful thinking in my own life. When things are not going smoothly for me (I’m seeking great things for myself) I will struggle to find joy in the gospel that says God has given me life. I clearly don’t understand the dire circumstances that I have been saved from. God is bringing about destruction on all those against him and for some reason he has promised me my life as a prize of war. This is not consolation prize! This is not about my greatness but about His greatness. What joy fills my heart when I have a right understanding of this.

Rejoicing in the gospel- my salvation – is having an eternal perspective. It’s seeking first the kingdom of heaven and His righteousness (to which I cling) Matt. 6 not seeking great things for myself whatever that may entail. It’s having the same attitude of Christ Jesus who did not seek personal greatness but humbled himself to become a servant and to be obedient even to death (thank God!)Phil 2. It’s thanking God for my salvation – a prize of war – and clinging to future promises.

How often I seek great things for myself. God’s message to me this morning is: “SEEK THEM NOT.”