What's "normal" anyhow? A homeschooling mom of four children, ranging in age from a pre-schooler on the autism spectrum, a "tween" with ADHD, two gifted learners (one of which is her first *gulp* high schooler), is learning that all the broken pieces of our lives fit beautifully together in God's plan to make a shining mosaic of glory to Him! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:03:00 -0500 Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:03:00 -0500 Twelve years ago, my family lost our home in an accident. Since the year 2000, we've lived in a mobile home - six of us!!! And, we homeschool. I've learned a lot in the past nine years since we bought our little home and added to our family. Kelli on Three Boys & A Dog, featured an article I wrote on how to homeschool in small places without losing your sanity. You can read my entire article by clicking on the Three Boys & a Dog button in my sidebar. Enjoy the journey!   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/711331/ Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:03:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/711331/ I was honored to receive two Sisterhood Awards over at my homesteading blog! I nominated some great ladies - I hope you can visit my other blog and see these other ladies' fantastic blogs. You may be inspired to give out some Sisterhood Awards yourself! God bless you!   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/707331/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 09:50:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/707331/ Well, I've finally learned how to post photos! I thought I'd share my first photo of T-Rex's adorable smile. Isn't he cute? Now that I know how to do this, I'll post more photos in the future! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/706121/ Wed, 8 Jul 2009 08:29:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/706121/ I've hosted a couple of giveaways on this blog, and another one's coming soon that I think you'll really like. In the meantime, I'm giving away a craft book on my other blog, "Back to Nature at the Wyldhouse Homestead.". If you like craft books, I hope you visit my other blog and enter your name to win. I'll be giving away more craft books over there, and more homeschool books over here! Hope you check back often! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/705818/ Tue, 7 Jul 2009 09:57:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/705818/ My Hummingbird struggles with spelling. It has been a source of frustration to her for the past three years. She's one of those kids who just doesn't seem to "get it." When Dan from SpellQuizzer contacted me about trying out the SpellQuizzer program, I thought it would be a great opportunity for Hummingbird to use it and see if it would help.   Before I could download it, T-Rex had some more health issues, so the program sat in my inbox for a couple of months. If I had known how much Hummingbird would like it, I would have downloaded it right away.  Finally, last month, with the school year officially ended and our schedules a little more relaxed, I had a chance to download the program. I live in the middle of nowhere and I have really SLOW dialup so it took awhile to download. That isn't SpellQuizzer's fault, that's my slow dialup's fault. Once I got everything downloaded, I recruited my 15 year old son, Rocker, to help me set everything up since I'm not as tech savvy as he. Turns out it was easy enough for me to understand on my own. SpellQuizzer gives great, simple step-by-step instructions even the most technically un-savvy can understand. SpellQuizzer is set up where parents can make customized spelling lists in their own voice. If your computer isn't equipped with a microphone, you will probably have to buy one for about $10 - $15. You also might need to use microphone boost in your computer to enhance the sound well enough to hear the words properly. I don't know if it was my computer or not, but I had trouble with sound quality (probably my computer). But - there is a solution for that! You can type in your own clues and sentences for the spelling words. That's what we have done, and it's working really well. Rocker is having a great time coming up with clues and sentences for Hummingbird's spelling words. Something that impresses me with the SpellQuizzer program is its simplicity. This is a quality program that delivers what it promises without adding a bunch of bells and whistles. Since Hummingbird has ADHD, she needs something like this - simple, with minimal distractions. Although she still struggles with spelling, SpellQuizzer gives Hummingbird ample opportunity for word repetition, recognition, and re-spelling missed words. It is a reasonable, one-time investment of $29.99, for a single license. Family pack (for up to 5 PCs) costs 49.95. Homeschool groups and school districts can contact Dan for pricing for their groups. A CD-Rom is an additional $7.50.    (You may have to make an additional purchase of $10 - $15 for a microphone to record words.)     It has neat little noises you can (or not) activate for correct and incorrect spelling. I downloaded the Hallelujah Chorus for Hummingbird. You should hear her giggle when she spells a word correctly! And by the way, we're starting to hear a lot more "hallelujah" than "uh-oh" around here lately.   If you need ideas for spelling word lists, you can find a ton of ideas on the SpellQuizzer website. They have frequently misspelled words, words by grade level, nouns, holidays, religious, U.S. States, and many more!   You can share words with your homeschool group or classmates. It's very easy to import and export lists following SpellQuizzer's simple instructions.   It can be customized for different children.   It has a little feature called "Tip of the Day" which gives you little tidbits on enhancing your SpellQuizzer experience. There's a funny one in there, too (but true): "You should never run while holding scissors!"    Once it's downloaded, it doesn't require an internet connection to use. (A real plus for those of us with slow dialup)    My General Impression of SpellQuizzer: This would be a good investment for a family with multiple younger children of different ages. At some point, I will be able to try this with T-Rex. Since he likes computer programs, I have a feeling SpellQuizzer will come in very handy for him.   We plan to use this throughout the summer and the upcoming school year to help Hummingbird practice her spelling. Although we are trying to be pretty relaxed regarding curriculum and whatnot, I think SpellQuizzer will be something we use often to reinforce Hummingbird's lessons. I plan to make lists from her history studies, geography, literature, etc. just to help solidify the words in her mind.   If your child thrives on quizzes, this program would be a good fit for your family. We aren't religious about quizzing, so I'm neutral about this, but it's great practice for Hummingbird!   This is great for homeschool or charter/public school children. This list sharing option makes it especially helpful. Parents can even get the lists from their kids' teachers. If your child is in public school, this is a really good way to stay involved in your kid's homework. Kids could support each other and parents could keep up to date on homework and what everyone is spelling from one week to the next.   SpellQuizzer is versatile enough to be anything from an intensive spelling program to summertime/after school practice. It really is up to the parent and child's creativity and personal needs as to what they want to do with it.   For our family, SpellQuizzer is a good help and supplement to strengthen Hummingbird's spelling skills.   Dan is extremely helpful when I contact him with questions. He has always answered my emails promptly. I would definitely give his customer service 5 stars! For more information on SpellQuizzer, visit their website at www.spellquizzer.com. To see what my fellow crew members thought of SpellQuizzer, click here:   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/705288/ Sun, 5 Jul 2009 16:01:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/705288/ The Old Schoolhouse Magazine stands out when it comes to quality homeschooling help, encouragement, and information regarding home education. The magazine by itself is well worth a subscription. What could be sweeter than a subscription to TOS? A subscription to TOS plus 19 FREE goodies! For a limited time, the first 5,000 new or renewing 2-year TOS subscribers will receive FREE gifts. These gifts aren't shabby, either! Subscribers will get great gifts/gift certificates from companies such as Sears, In the Hands of a Child, Apologia, Wikki Stix, and many more. You just have to see this for yourself! TOS has created a beautiful ad highlighting this promotion and the gifts offered. Click here and see the promotion for yourself! With such a great magazine and great freebies, it won't take long to reach 5,000 subscribers! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/704595/ Thu, 2 Jul 2009 19:02:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/704595/ I just love summer! The fireflies are finally stirring, the nights are still and warm, and the birds treat us to a beautiful symphony every morning. We have been wanting to camp out for quite awhile, but we thought before we go away somewhere, we'd try it in the backyard for a couple of nights. We had been wanting a tent for a long time. Last February, we found a $250 tent on the back shelf of a local retailer for almost 75% off! This tent is great - sleeps 8, has dividers for privacy, has an attached screened canopy, and a removable fly so you can look up at the stars through screens (yay, no insects). We set up the tent in the backyard on Friday. Mr. Steady built a little fire, and we roasted turkey dogs and marshmallows. We had a great time sitting outside, watching the sun go down, looking at the fireflies lighting up the meadow beside our home. It was a great evening because T-Rex was in a familiar place with all his outdoor toys. He remained fairly calm. I wasn't sure how he'd do in the tent, since it was a little break from his routine. However, he did pretty well. He was a little anxious and required deep pressure from his weighted blanket. He also made me hold him really tightly and apply deep pressure to his back until he went to sleep. After the kids were asleep, Mr. Steady and I looked at the beautiful night sky with all its stars and quietly talked until well after midnight. I am such a wimp - sleeping on the hard ground left me very stiff and in a little pain the next morning, so I grabbed an old twin size mattress and put it in there for the next night. Survivorwoman I'm not. I slept very well the second night, but we couldn't remove the fly because of a light rain throughout the night. T-Rex went to sleep much better and ended up curling up on the mattress with me. Mr. Steady and the other kids poked a little good-natured fun at my mattress, but at least I didn't wake up with a backache. This backyard camp out was a great way to gauge how T-Rex would do on a camping trip. We decided he's not ready for a "go away" trip just yet, but we have a great spot in the backyard for several more camp outs this summer. It'll save us gas money as well. Our backyard camp out was one of the best staycations I've had in a long time. Next time we're going to do even more by visiting some trails at local parks, then coming home and having another cookout, catching fireflies and letting them go, and reading stories by firelight. We can have a weekend worth of fun for very little cost and even less headache (no tired kids in the car asking if we're there yet). I'm already looking forward to it! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/703632/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:50:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/703632/ Yesterday, I talked a little about grieving for The Way It Should Have Been when I had a premature baby with many special needs who was eventually diagnosed with developmental delays, communication disorders, and autism spectrum disorder (ASD). T-Rex is more on the Asperger side of the scale, which becomes more evident the older he gets. I think every parent who faces these challenges has experienced some sort of grief when the diagnosis is given. I did. I wondered how profoundly ASD would affect T-Rex. Would he be able to live a productive, "normal" life? Would people treat him differently? Would I treat him differently? The questions bombarded my tired mind until I thought I would crumple under the burden. As time went on, though, I began to learn a few things about T-Rex, the world around us, and myself. I think the hardest thing at first were the rude stares we would get every time we were in public and T-Rex would have a meltdown or start stimming.  I finally found a bumper sticker that said, "Does my autism make you uncomfortable? How do you think your stares make me feel?" Then there were others who would see him on really good days, look at me like I was some kind of liar, and say "Oh, he can't have autism. Look at him! He just said 'hi" me." I wanted to say, "Yes, he just said 'hi' because we've been working on that goal with him every day in therapy, teaching him how to engage, say hello, and talk to people he meets. We're very proud of him. But - please don't judge us because you're only seeing a piece of the puzzle. You don't live with him, and you aren't the one doing all the therapy with him every day. So don't discount his hard work and progress by playing doctor and giving us a diagnosis when you don't see the whole picture." Our goal is to have T-Rex function as optimally as possible in public and social settings, and in his daily life. When some people say they don't see the ASD (because T-Rex is verbal), I rejoice because that's an indication the therapy is working. But, don't give us "the look" like we're a couple of hyper-worried parents who just made up this diagnosis off the top of our heads so we could give our son an excuse to scream at the top of his lungs in Wal-Mart. He was seen by numerous professionals and specialists who went through the criteria with us as they evaluated T-Rex, and they diagnosed him. In public, people's unspoken implications and looks said I was making excuses for his behavior. It took me a long time to stop caring what people think. It's very hard for me to admit this, but it took me a long time to not be embarrassed in public when T-Rex melted down or stimmed. Not because of him, but because I thought it somehow reflected on what kind of parent I was. I still blamed myself for having him prematurely. Looking back, I realize I did all the right things health-wise, he just was born when he was born for whatever reason. But then, I still blamed myself. I wondered if the ASD was a result of his prematurity, and therefore, also my fault since I couldn't keep him safe in my womb? Then, a few months ago, I finally woke up. I realized what a gift God gave our family in T-Rex. The Creator of the Universe entrusted a tiny bundle of vast potential into our keeping. God knew what I had inside me to make sure this little boy grows into a young man. Who knows what great things T-Rex will do? And God gave me the privilege of raising him. I had made ASD such a big part of our lives, when there was so much more to consider. Even though it is a pervasive part of our lives, ASD isn't who T-Rex is - it's just piece of the puzzle. He is who he is, and I love him so very much. Does that mean that I become complacent and not find out all I can about improving his quality of life? No way! I will always see what I can do to make things better for him. I will never stop researching, learning, hoping. But I no longer grieve. And I no longer sit around wishing for The Way It Should Be. The Way It Is is so much better! Here's The Way It Is: I have four beautiful children, each unique, each so very loved by their dad and me! I have been given an opportunity to grow, to learn how to lay aside my own selfish desires and trust in the knowledge that all things happen for a reason. I have an opportunity to turn our family's pain into a source of help and comfort to others who may experience what we have. That has already happened several times. Who knows who you will meet when you are sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office? I've had some great conversations in hospital lobbies and doctor's office waiting rooms. I probably would have never met these people in another setting, or if I had, I would have passed them right by without realizing the treasure inside them. Through T-Rex, I have a rare glimpse inside a different perspective of people and the world in which we live. I don't always understand it, but I try. It has helped me be more compassionate, understanding, and appreciative of those who are different than me. I am truly blessed. I have a great family and a great life. My circumstances don't rule me. My attitude about my circumstances makes all the difference. (I have to pray about that one every day, but I'm getting there - one step at a time). No, I absolutely would not change The Way It Is for The Way (I Thought) It Should Have Been. What I have now is so much better than what I thought was right. What I thought was a great loss turned into the greatest blessing I've ever had! And who knows what great blessings the future holds. . .  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/702955/ Sat, 27 Jun 2009 08:54:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/702955/ Today I've been thinking about how blessed I am to have been chosen for this experience of parenting a child with special needs. Sometimes, when I'm really tired and feel like I just can't handle one more meltdown at 1:00 a.m., I remind myself how fervently I asked God to give me another child - and the wonderful blessing with which I was answered. All my children are blessings. I wouldn't trade any of them for any other child. With their special gifts and personalities, they enrich my life and teach me so much about the unconditional love of God. T-Rex is no exception. From the moment he arrived, almost three months too soon, he captured my heart and never let it go. Three years later, he still holds my heart in his chubby, sometimes grubby (right now berry-stained) palms. I am learning to adapt to the wonderful personality that is uniquely T-Rex. He's fine. He knows who he is and what he needs. It is I who have had to change my way of thinking. I had to stop blaming myself for not carrying him long enough. I couldn't stop beating myself up after his diagnosis of developmental delays and autism spectrum disorder. It has been almost a year, and I grieved for several long months, wondering if there was anything I could have done differently, wondering if T-Rex's challenges were somehow my fault. I grieved for the death of "The Way It Should Have Been." In a perfect world, the way it should have been would be me having a complication-free, joyful delivery, with Mr. Steady by my side. The way it should have been would have consisted of the smiling doctor placing my plump, full-term baby into my waiting arms, as Mr. Steady and I got lost in those little newborn eyes blinking up at us. Instead, what I got was so much better than The Way It Should Have Been. When I saw my silent son, smaller than many dolls, struggling to take his first breath seconds after birth, only then did I truly comprehend what it meant to lay my own heart in God's hands and entrust one of my greatest desires (the desire that my child would live) to Him. When I lay in my hospital room, in excruciating pain, listening to the helicopter, knowing that helicopter was taking my baby three hours away to be placed in the care of strangers, then I truly understood what it meant to cast aside all my own selfish ambition and not demand that my baby stay by my side simply because I missed him terribly and wanted him with me. I had to learn to let go. In letting go, I  placed all my trust in a God I couldn't see with my eyes, but perceived within my heart. Until that point, when I saw a medical helicopter in flight, I remotely knew someone's loved one was in there and I would say a quick prayer for their well being. This time that someone was me, the loved one was mine. Although my body lay broken and mending in a hospital room, every other part of me was in the air, willing my son to live so I could at least hold him in my arms and tell him how much he was loved. That day, I learned that all life is precious, and every person who is ill, in an accident, or in other peril is loved by somebody.   When my little miracle came home after 57 days in intensive care, a couple of weeks before he "Should Have Been" born, another battle of the "Should Be's" took place. I should have been bringing home a healthy, full term baby. Instead, I brought home 6 pounds of baby and 20 pounds of oxygen tanks, tubing, monitors, and other equipment. But, again, what I got was so much better than what I thought Should Have Been. Before we brought T-Rex home from the hospital, Mr. Steady and I received advanced first aid training that enabled me to remain calm and do what I needed to do when T-Rex had a seizure and turned blue a few weeks ago. Had I not received that initial training when I first brought him home, I wouldn't have been prepared for the unthinkable. I would have fallen apart and possibly endangered my son's well being if I hadn't already known what to do. In caring for T-Rex, I learned the meaning of selfless love. I'm not always "pretty" on the inside, and sometimes I can get a really bad attitude when I'm exhausted and at the end of my parenting rope. But I still love. And I continue my journey on this path with all its unexpected turns - because I still have a job to do and blessings to love. And that's what counts in the end. I learned that I can do harder things than I think I am capable of doing, when the need arises. And I learned what it means to rejoice in all the "little" milestones that so many people take for granted because they never had to fight so hard to reach them. And, then, last year. . . The Diagnosis. My life is truly divided into two parts: the days before September 19, 2008, and every day since then. Tomorrow I will blog about what I have learned since then and why I will never trade The Way It Is for The Way It Should Have Been.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/702804/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:57:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/702804/ No, your eyes aren't deceiving you - please don't change the channel! I wanted to redesign the look of my blog - something brighter and less cluttered. This is the result. Sport (see "About Me") helped me pick this new template for the blog - she said it best represented my personality. When I asked her why, she said the window reminds her of how much I like to look out in our backyard through a big, sunny window and watch all the birds enjoying the birdfeeders. She told me the flowers in the window also remind her of me. I love beautiful flowers and try to surround myself with them, whether in my yard, garden, or porches, where I can see them from any window in the house. So, what do you think? I'd love it if you leave a comment and let me know. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/702453/ Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:13:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LisaCoburn/702453/