Hi and welcome to my blog! I hope you’ll stick around because I could use the company. My name is Bev, and I’m a full-time wife, mom, and teacher, along with another handful of things that make for a really long list. Sit, read, leave me a comment! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Sat, 5 Jan 2008 21:19:00 -0600 Sat, 5 Jan 2008 21:19:00 -0600 I've decided to pull up the roots of my blog here and move them over to Blogger.  It's nothing personal against homeschoolblogger!  I still have my homeschooling blog here.  I just felt that maybe this blog belonged somewhere else, for my own personal reasons.  So please hop over to the new place for a visit!  Here's the address: http://www.pufferfishdiaries.blogspot.com/.  Be sure to bookmark it so you can always find me!  See ya soon! ~Bev~ http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/456182/ Sat, 5 Jan 2008 21:19:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/456182/ Monday, November 18, 1996, was a beautiful day.  Sunny, clear, not too cold, not too warm.  Perfect.  And it was the day that my life changed completely..... Rewind one year to November 1995.  Dh and I had been living in a small, two-bedroom apartment for a year and a half, since our wedding.  Tired of being cramped, dealing with difficult neighbors, and doing without things like a washer and dryer - we decided to look for a home to purchase.  Our price range was very limited, so it took awhile to find something we could afford that was also worth the investment of what little money we had.  ~ That November, we found a suitable place and bought it.  It was a small, three-bedroom, one bath, ranch-style house.  It had a very dated kitchen, dark paneling throughout, and really old carpet... but, it had a laundry room, which was a huge plus for me.  And, it had other quaint features that made it appealing to us.  We were eager to make it "home".  People teased us that we would soon fill up those extra bedrooms, and we laughed.  We intended to wait at least 5 years before we had children, so we could finish college and all that kind of stuff.  ~ In March of '96, I got sick.  Like, really sick.  I thought I had a miserable case of the flu that just wasn't going away.  Then I started having other weird symptoms.  When I talked to my mom, she said, "Well, are you pregnant?"  No.... I certainly did not think that was the case.  That wasn't our plan, after all.  I wasn't even 21 yet, and still considered dh and I to be newlyweds.  Children would come later, I thought.  Yet, the symptoms would only get worse, and eventually, curiousity got the better of me.  ~ I nearly croaked when I went to buy a pregnancy test at Walmart that day.  I was so embarrassed!  (ha!)  And I was a basket case when I came home and attempted to actually do the test.  I was just a nervous wreck.  ~ Both lines immediately turned dark.  My jaw hit the floor.  ~ Panic. ~ I was so scared.  I spent the rest of the day bawling my eyes out and trying to figure out how in the world I was going to tell dh.  I had not even told him that it was a possibility before then.  I don't know why, and it seems so foolish now, but for some reason I was afraid he was going to be upset with me.  Finally, I made a 2nd trip to Walmart that day, this time to buy two little baby outfits.  One was blue and it said "Daddy's Little Prince" across the front.  The other was pink and said "Daddy's Little Princess".  I wrapped them in a little gift bag, and tied a "Welcome Baby" balloon to it.  When dh came home from work, I nervously presented him with the gift.  ~ Then we both sat there and bawled.  Tears of joy, in utter amazement, that God was blessing us with our own little surprise miracle.  ~ Lots of preparations had to be made in the following months.  Our little fixer-upper of a house suddenly had urgent changes that had to be made.  Dh and his brother and another friend hung sheetrock in the room we planned to use as a nursery.  Then they replaced the old, storm windows with new insulated ones.  I spent weeks painting and wallpapering.  I sewed curtains, a pad for the rocking chair, and refinished an old changing table.  My father-in-law made a beautiful cradle.  Friends from church, as well as family showered us with everything else we could possibly need for the baby.  For a couple of young kids with no clue about how to be parents, we were pretty well set as far as necessities went.  ~ The pregnancy was uneventful, aside from the 24-hour-a-day sickness.  We were attending childbirth classes, but I pretty much slept through the whole part about c-sections, since I didn't think it applied to me.  On October 24th, I found out that my baby was in a breech position.  And if he didn't turn, I'd have to have a c-section.  He never turned around.  My due date was November 21st, however my doctor agreed to deliver the baby a few days early.  See, dh's dad's bday is November 18th, and what better bday gift could he possibly give than a new grandchild?  ~ Having never been in the hospital before, and certainly never having had surgery before, I was extremely nervous when I checked into the hospital that morning.  I won't get into all the details, but let's just say that it didn't help me to feel any better to have a student nurse attempting to start an IV.  After the 3rd or 4th try, the other nurse took over.  Fun.  It did get better after that.  Especially when I heard those sweet cries for the first time, and the doctor announced, "It's a BOY!"  ~ We had no insurance, so we had not had an ultrasound.  We had no idea whether the baby was a boy or girl, until then.  What joy!!!  We were absolutely elated!!  He was beautiful and healthy and strong.  Dh went up to the nursery with the nurses and our new son while I stayed in the O.R. to get sewn back together.  *smirk*  After some time in recovery, I was able to see my baby boy up close, face to face.  How can I describe such love?  Those cheeks were so sweet.  Those eyes - mesmerizing.  Everything about him was perfect, from his head to his toes.  ~ At that point, dh and I couldn't imagine having it any other way.  We were young and we had a LOT to learn, but we were ready and willing to learn it.  I've always said that our first baby taught me how to be a mom.  And he really did.  And he also showed me what it's like to have a little piece of my heart walking around outside of my body, because that's exactly what it feels like to have a child.  In hindsight, we see God's hand in all of this.  We needed that baby, right then.  It was perfect timing, and God knew that.  ~ We're so blessed to have this child, now an eleven year old young man.  And I am still smitten with him, even though I complain sometimes about silly things that bug me.  I could never ask for a better son.  I thank God for him every day!!!  I pray that God will give us many, many more years together. ~ Happy Birthday, Son! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/429222/ Sat, 17 Nov 2007 22:45:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/429222/ Really cool stuff rarely happens to me.  That's why I was so surprised to see a comment from Tia Linschied, Senior Editor of HSB, letting me know that I am the random blogger of the week!  I'm not sure what that means, but nonetheless, it's exciting!  And I get a cool prize, ta boot!  Check it out: The BusyBodyBook.  Thanks, HSB!  And thanks, BusyBodyBook people!!!  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/428042/ Thu, 15 Nov 2007 22:32:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/428042/ I'm feeling a bit guilty tonight, as I do most every night. I'd just like to know, where is the line between being a good mom and just being human and needing time to myself?  I love my kids.  I love being with them, which is obvious, since we homeschool and are together all the time.  But at the same time, at the end of the day - I'm ready for some time to myself.  I feel guilty when I put my children to bed because they each want to have some one-on-one time with mom.  I love going in and saying prayers with them and tucking each one into bed.  However, when I try to say "goodnight" and leave the room, it's usually met with pleads for me to stay and talk, snuggle, tell a story, sing a song, etc.  I know that they really want to have that time, but in my mind, I'm thinking about all the stuff I still need to do before bed, or that I just want to do before bed. I try to give them lots of lovin' during the day, and one-on-one time as much as possible.  I guess it's just something about snuggling up in their beds for the night that makes them want their mama.  (Which is likely my fault, since I was the one that rocked them to sleep for the first several years of their lives.) It's hard to know where to draw the line. I guess I have to decide which is worse: feeling guilty for cutting short the cuddle time so I can have some time to myself, or feeling guilty for not taking any time for myself? Hopefully I'll find a happy medium sometime before they're grown and out of the house.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/427287/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:15:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/427287/ "Focal bilateral areas of increased signal greater in the left cerebral hemisphere than the right and while this may represent small vessel ischemic changes, focal lacunar infarcts secondary to hypertension in this age group of other consideration would be non-active multiple sclerotic plaques." ~ These were the words of the radiologist who examined my MRI. ~ Clear as mud? ~ Yeah, I thought so, too. ~ I received this information last week, but wasn't able to get in to see Dr. N until today, which is why I haven't updated until now.  Sorry.    See, I had the radiology report in my hands, but I had no clue what it meant, so there was no use trying to write about it.  And I'm still not sure exactly... ~ We are looking at anything from Multiple Sclerosis (no shock there.. I've heard that for the past 5 years) to mini-strokes to maybe my brain is just weird like that, all on its own for no real reason.  See, I've got these little white "blips", if you will, scattered around on my brain.  The docs think that these are little dead spots where the myelin has been destroyed and has left little plaques in its place.  Now we just have to dig deeper to try and figure it out.  Yep - I'm a mystery.  An enigma.  A walking anomaly.  That's me. ~ And, frustrated.  That's me, too.  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/423043/ Wed, 7 Nov 2007 21:32:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/423043/ My eldest child is 10, at least for a few more weeks.  But already he's acting sort've teenager-y, and it's really starting to bug me.  And I've told him this - it's no big secret.  Lately he seems convinced that my head must not be functioning properly, that instead of a brain, I've really got some sort of unintelligent mush up there.  (Come to think of it, he may be on to something....)  Seriously, though - is this how I treated my mother?  If so, I'm sorry Mom!  ~ I know that the fun has only just begun, and I don't mean to be unappreciative of the wonderful child God has given me.  I knew that the teen years could be difficult, but I just didn't expect it to start this early!  He just seems to be questioning everything I do - from the way I have the cabinets arranged in the kitchen to how I have things arranged in the refrigerator to the whole layout of our house's floor plan.  Then there's my driving, my choice of music, the things I tell him he can't have (and he lets me know why he should have them).  I understand that it's healthy to question things, but I guess I am just not prepared for it yet!  ~ Lord Help Me!  I've got a pre-teen!  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/418670/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:45:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/418670/ My MRI was scheduled for 8 this morning. This was not a new thing to me. I've had 3, maybe 4 MRI's in the past 5 years. And it's never been a fun thing, per se, but I’ve been able to tolerate them quite easily in the past. This time, however, was different. The day started off well. My mother graciously offered to keep my kids overnight last night so that I could take it easy getting ready this morning, plus not have to drag them out so early. That was so nice! It was hard getting out of bed, as usual, but once I got up it was easy going. I got to the hospital early, took my time getting registered, and still had time to sit in the waiting room and watch “Good Morning America”. At about 8:15, the tech came to get me, showed me where to put my stuff, and got me situated on the MRI bed. This was when things started to go downhill. I think my first mistake was wearing my long hair down, because when I laid down, I couldn’t get it situated to where it was comfortable and out of the way. Then, the tech put the headphones on my head, and they were a little crooked. That was uncomfortable, too, but I didn’t get to fix it before she snapped the brace down to hold my head still. Then the tech placed a sheet over me and handed me the “panic button”, which is a long cord with a ball-like thing on the end that you squeeze to get the tech’s attention. As I said, I’ve done this before, but never had to use the panic button. Until today. The tech sent me backwards into the big tube, walked out of the room, and within 15 seconds, I freaked out. I don’t know what happened, if it was because I was uncomfortable or what, but I completely spazzed. It was a feeling of complete and total panic, like I HAD to get out of there or I was going to die. I have never felt like that before, and I hope I never do again! I pushed the button and the tech came in. I told her I had to get up, so she let me out and unhooked the brace so I could sit up. I sat there and just absolutely bawled like a baby. How embarrassing! Thankfully, the tech was very understanding and patient. She assured me that this was very common, and then spent several minutes reassuring me and explaining to me how the machine works to maybe put my mind at ease. After I settled down and dried my face with a washcloth, she fastened me back in for another ride. This time, I had pulled my hair back in a ponytail and left the sheet off so I would stay cool. When the tech pushed me back in the tube, she took my hand and let me feel the outside of the tube from where I was laying, so I could get oriented to where I was and feel that the edge of the thing was just “right there”. That helped a LOT. It was still difficult, but I felt like I could go through with it. I forced myself to NOT think about being stuck in a seemingly tiny little tube with my head pinned to the table. Instead, I started reciting things in my head, like the multiplication tables I’ve been working on with my kids lately and words to favorite church songs. Then I went through several piano pieces that I memorized for recitals long ago, and imagined that I was playing them again, note by note. I thought about my kids and tried to picture each of their faces and to hear their laughter in my mind. I thought about my sweet hubby, and imagined that he was standing right outside the tube, holding my hand. This was all pretty good, considering the music that was playing through my headphones. Today there was a combination of Madonna, Cher, and Simon and Garfunkel playing. Ay yi yi…. Halfway through, the tech lady pulled me out and gave me a shot in the arm of the contrast dye that they use to make things show up better in the pictures. As she pushed me back in, she assured me that there would be only three more big noises and then it would be over. (If you’ve never had or been around an MRI machine - that’s what they do: make noise. Lots of noise. Sounds like a jackhammer.) And sure enough, three big noises later and she was pulling me back out. Whew! I was a little disoriented at first when I got up, after lying very still for about 30 minutes. But after walking around for a few minutes I started feeling better. It occurred to me just how fortunate I am to be healthy and to not have to go through that and WORSE more often. I have a newfound respect for people with chronic illnesses who are constantly subjected to things that are just downright hard to do, whether it be MRI’s, spinal taps, physical therapy, chemo, radiation, whatever the case may be. I hope and pray that I never have to go through that again. If I do, they may have to sedate me for it. Oh, and another fun little tidbit for ya - I had the most horrible itch on the end of my nose during that whole thing! And there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it, either.       http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/418170/ Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:41:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/418170/ Remember on the movie Kindergarten Cop?  You know, the one where Arnold Schwarzennager is an undercover cop posing as a teacher?  That little kid keeps telling him that he (ah-nuld) must have a brain tumor, and Ah-nuld tells him that no, 'iss-nod-a-tooma', (or 'it's not a tumor').  Anyways, that's what keeps playing back in my mind this week as I've been dealing with health issues of my own.    So, I went to see the doctor on Wednesday.   Pain in my arm, from the shoulder down to the pinky, was the initial complaint.  In the past week, I've been having severe headaches and the pain in my arm has spread to my leg as well - all of this on the right side.  I had an MRI of my cervical spine for this very same thing two years ago, but the doctor then (different doctor) never bothered to share the results with me.  (He was looking for one specific thing, and when the MRI didn't show what he was looking for, he didn't bother to tell me what it DID show...but that's a different doctor, and a different story... I'll bore you with it another time.)    As I was saying before I interrupted myself... I went to see my family doctor.  I told him about the symptoms I'd been experiencing.  He said that they "concerned" him.  Not what I was hoping for.  I mean, not that I want my doctor to laugh at me, but a good-humored "you came to see me just for that?" and then he'd point out something simple, like that my "foundation garments" were just too tight and were cutting off  feeling in my arm or something.... I'd be mortifiied, but at least it wouldn't be a big deal.  But no, he had to say that my symptoms concerned him.  Great.  Cause he, like, went to medical school to learn all this stuff about what and what not to be concerned about.  Dandy.  We talked about all the possible problems and then he sent me for the usual bloodwork and xrays.  The blood tests came back normal (sugar, potassium, sodium, and something else I can't remember..)  The xrays were taken of my neck, and they showed some funky stuff going on, which Doctor N. said looked like osteoarthritis.  He said that it could be responsible for the problems in my arm as well as my leg, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was what was causing the headaches and some other "neurological" symptoms.  So he wants me to have my brain checked out again.  I have an MRI scheduled for Tuesday morning, but I doubt they'll find anything.  (--insert joke here.)  They never find anything substantial, so I just keep on keeping on, until I have another flare up of some sort and the fun will start all over again.  Can you tell that I'm not feeling so optimistic?  One thing that Dr. N said that I found interesting is that it could be sinus-related.  That's something I never would have suspected.  He told me to take Mucinex  twice a day and see if that helped with the headaches.  However, I have taken it at night the past two nights and it completely wipes me out, so there's no way I'm taking it during the day!  But, my headaches have calmed down so maybe the Mucinex is helping?    I guess that's it for the update.  I'll update again when I get the results from the MRI, or should I say IF I get the results?  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/415331/ Fri, 26 Oct 2007 20:41:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/415331/ I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday about that funky arm thing that I mentioned a few posts ago.  It's gotten even weirder - now my right leg has joined the fun.  My leg has been spontaneously erupting into "goosebumps", for no apparant reason.  The goosebumps aren't visible, but it just feels like the feeling of getting goosebumps.  Does that make sense?  Probably not.  The doctor will probably think I'm a loon.  But that's okay....we all know better, don't we?    DON'T WE?!? I'll let ya know how it goes.  I'm sure you're hanging on the edge of your seat.... http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/413258/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 21:00:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/413258/ I couldn't sleep last night.  At first I couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't get my mind off of a big bill that was due.  I couldn't remember the exact due date, but I knew it was coming up pretty quickly.  After tossing and turning for half an hour, I finally decided to just get up and take care of it.  The bill is due 10/23, but I went ahead and paid it (online)... ya know, cuz I like to be early with my payments.  LOL.  So I went back to bed, but still couldn't get to sleep.  I had stupid songs running through my head and thoughts about this and that and the other.  I propped up on my pillow and played Scrabble on my phone for awhile, and finally was able to fall asleep around 1 or so.  So when the alarm went off at 6, I was NOT ready to get up.  Plus, it was SO DARK outside!  I got up and made bfast for dh, and in the process, I heard the pitter-patter of little feet.  *sigh*  Thankfully I was able to convince that little twerp to lay back down for awhile.  And ya know what?  I joined him!  LOL. I did have to get back up again not long after that, but the extra rest was awfully nice.  We had our co-op "Monday School" today, so that kept us hopping all afternoon.  Then dd had bball practice afterwards.  We finally made it back to town around 5:30PM, just in time to meet dh at Dixie Cafe for dinner.  He had to rush off to a fire meeting, so I brought the kids home and got them bathed and put to bed.  Now I'm sitting here droning on about my boring, busy day.... about to fall over....  Aren't you glad I shared?    http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/413253/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:49:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PufferfishDiaries/413253/