A Life of Balance - Homeschool Blogger

pictures over at the other place!!

Sat, 7 Apr 2007 16:54:00 -0500

Please come see the pics of my cute and hysterical children... and COMING SOON... my 34 week belly and my 35 week belly!! yes. if you can stand it, you may look at my beautiful baby through my skin! :)

A Life of Balance

Its been a long while!

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 18:19:00 -0500

Its been a while since I have blogged over here...

For the most current notes and thoughts by Renee :) you must come to

http://alifeofbalance.wordpress.com/

Eventually I'll move everything from here over to there, but that hasn't happened yet. Too much going on amidst trying to get renters out, and getting them out finally and finding the place TRASHED and doing major renovations as fast as possible trying to get it rented out, then changing our minds and trying to sell it. That is where we are at now... renovating adn selling. SIGH!! HUGE job! amazing!

I am 33 weeks pregnant !! yeah - getting large and uncomfortable!!

anyway... come visit over at the other place and say hi!

The Good, Bad and the Ugly

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 12:52:00 -0600

We'll start with the Bad... its 1 degree outside!!! YUCK!! SO cold.

Ugly... me teaching Keenan math. oh my word. I can't get over how frustrated I can get over a few measly math problems, that he's probably figure out in a year on his own anyway with NO teaching!! The kid is so, so bright and I could screw that up that love of learning, and that confidence with crappy attitude while teaching math. sigh.

Good ... it was starting to look light outside this around 8:00!!! - sunrise officially at 8:35am... but for us, at 9:52, it JUST peeked over the mountain, and there is hope for spring yet... (I know, its only mid-February!!) and it doesn't set about 5:30 - wow.

Prayer - praying the Lord's Prayer

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 01:04:00 -0600

I think the title of this post is kind of funny and ironic, since I have recently entered into some conversations on prayer and the perceived "evils" of contemplation, using our God given imagination (for good, as opposed to the crazy out of control imagining my mind tends towards without Him), listening to hear God speak, praying anything but the model of the Lord's Prayer... :) etc. you get the idea. Fear of anything different, under the guise of being watchful and vigilant for the lion seeking to devour is my take, personally.

Anyway, that isn't what this is about... so I'll stop on that.

The main gist of this weekend was the real power of prayer. how to enter into the work of prayer. how to pray effectively. how to pray and know God's heart. and what to pray when you don't! there was much covered, and much not covered, of course, but one thing the speaker spoke of at the beginning was that the work of prayer flows / or grows out of intimacy with the Father, not the other way around.

click here for the rest over at the "other" place... Prayer

My Love Story

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 21:28:00 -0600

aah... for a GREAT love story, click this link for mine ! :)

My Love Story

I'm Back!

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 22:53:00 -0600

It was a great time at the "Dunamis Retreat - the Power of Prayer"

God worked and moved mightily... and with a few surpirses! Bryan and I come home changed and are excited to see what God will continue to do in us, what He can now do through us with some spiritual strongholds broken, and renewed vision and direction for Souljourn (our church) and our family.

SO much to share, too much that isn't mine to share. I thiank it will take a while to get my head and heart sorted out... I might do that first before vomiting all over the internet! LOL

I'll leave you with just one of the scriptures Bryan and I feel God gave to us this weekend:

Jeremiah 32:38-39

"They shall be My people, and I will be their God; and I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear Me always, for their own good and for the good of their children after them."

House Church and seeking...

Tue, 6 Feb 2007 23:57:00 -0600

We have been in a quandary at our house church...

We want to be lights to our community, to grow, to deepen, to meet with God alone and together in a powerful and dynamic way... but its not really happeing in the way we think it should be happening. If that is just our perspective and not God's timing... hey that is fine. BUT if something is missing, or we are wrong somehow, we want to know it!!!

Continue here...

Pursuit of God 3 - part 2

Mon, 5 Feb 2007 17:48:00 -0600

What is it that comes between me and my pursuit of God... do I hold everything loosely in my hand, or is it wrapped tight in me heart?

Superbowl was a fabulous time of reflection for me. (not because of the superbowl... but because we went to my in-laws where I had the second living room all to myself with no distractions!)

There are 2 things Father God brought to mind.

First, finances and houses and feel good comforts etc. We have a renter that doesn't pay rent... or her electric and gas bill. We have to kick her out. but she has 2 little kids. We have given her lots of chances, and her jailhouse abusive father of her children who isn't supposed to be living there has tore up the place. yeah. joys of landlording. and I stress. I don't remember being a stresser for financial things, but apparently, that was only God's grace not my great spirituality. (feel free to laugh or puke... )

Second, this pregnancy... I want a full term healthy baby, with no complications in the pregnancy, and I want it guaranteed and when I feel more uterine activity than seems normal to me or should be ok, I freak out, because I want the above with NO bed rest and doing everything your average active mother does while being pregnant. I. dont'. want. to. slow. down.

HOWEVER, though I was assured by God this was a go ahead, and He would bless this. Both Bryan and I prayed and had a real peace about this pregnancy, that doesn't mean I get to call the shots. (ouch, just seeing it in print is rather... ugly) Father God, who created my body, who created baby inside my body, knows how it will go. And if I end up on bedrest, or need to take it easy, or the house goes to pots because I can't keep up on housework, or even if the baby is born early. GOD KNOWS!!! He is sovereign. That is a comfort not an omniscient threat!! SO I rest, and I stop drinking caffeine, and I stop bending over to pick things up and I don't run around to do errands because bending over getting the kids in and out of the car and picking up toys is NOT helping keep the uterus relaxed!!!

Its good. very good. NOW I am ready to move on and pursue God, having got those "little" things out of the way... I am sure I'll need to put them back on the altar a few more times - again pry my fingers off these grand gifts of God. BUT, for now, its good to move on in the Pursuit of God.

Dad's Inspiration

Fri, 2 Feb 2007 17:29:00 -0600

My Dad sent me this (thanks Dad!)… and it so blessed me as it goes along great with the conversations of late around the blogosphere regarding our day in day out relationship with Jesus…

Click for link to a different version of Footprints

The Pursuit of God 3

Fri, 2 Feb 2007 17:27:00 -0600

I can’t get by Days 4-6. Day 7 says “Now the journey can begin…” and my spirit said… no, you didn’t really deal with the letting go of things… so I have been pondering and praying, and will sit here for a while as the Spirit works in my heart.

God’s gift’s now taking the place of God… our roots going down deep into… things, comforts, talents, relationships, ideals, instead of Christ. and Tozer’s wise words:

press Pursuit of God 3 to read the rest.

Noeo Science experiment pictures

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 15:33:00 -0600

for soem pictures of our Noeo Science experiments, follow this link. Noeo pics

If it doesn't work, and you want to see them, let me know!!

3.4

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 01:27:00 -0600

NOTE: you must know the context of this post... preemie babies and complicated pregnancies...

Are you wondering what this lovely measurement is? In the words of my Obstetrician:

"A cervix to be proud of. 3.4 centimeters"

"Thanks, doc, I'll be sure to tell the world"

SO, there you have it. 25 1/2 weeks along, and still... long! :) I apologize to all of you who REALLY didn't want to know that!!

Worship Gathering - Wrath of God

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 01:21:00 -0600

I laugh sadly sometimes, when I hear people talk about the emerging church movement and accuse it / us of not sticking to God's word, watering down truth, only tickling people's ears and giving them the feel good Gospel... Because it has always been so DIFFERENT for us.

We have started through Romans in our worship gatherings on Sunday evenings. It has been INCREDIBLE. MJ (pastor) made a New Years Resolution that he would not teach / give a message or sermon to Souljourn unless he believed it was specifically a word of God FOR Souljourn... in other words, he wouldn't get up and gab about the passage, Truth as it may be, unless he felt GOD gave it to him for THIS church body at THIS time. (no word = lots of music and reading of Scripture, open sharing, whatever) yeah. I over explained that, sorry!

This last week's sermon... Romans 1: 24-32... God's wrath... (our 2nd week on this!) Mmmm... you might think this was a depressing sad scary week. NOT SO! Because if you look at Romans 1 in context, you realize, firstly, that God's wrath is NOT what we think of as wrath (angry man cut off in traffic, revenge, etc.) God's wrath is (3x it says this) giving us over to our sinful nature and depraved minds... it is God leaving us alone. Taking His hand off us.

Its VERY good to read Scripture in context... :) you know, hear ALL of God's conversation with us!! From 2 Sundays ago, check this out... if you throw some questions into the text, see how Paul answers them...15 "So, for my part, I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome. why in Rome? For I am not ashamed of the gospel why? for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek (us) why to everyone who believes? For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written "but the righteous man shall live by faith" why is righteousness needed to live by faith? For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, how do we know? because that which is known about God is evident within them; why? for God made it evident to them how can it be made plain? for since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse, why the wrath? for even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. and what resulted? professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of the corruptible man and of birds... (IDOLS)

as a result of their/ our idolotry they / we sin...

therefore God gave them over... v24 - end.

MERCY MERCY MERCY - it is SO SO good, and God just washed us with it Sunday night. In light of our depravity, and God's mercy in accepting our repentance, how can we NOT desire changed hearts... and God's mercy includes not only life everlasting in heaven, free from sin anywhere! But included is a life of joy and freedom from the BONDAGE of sin HERE!!! by-by slavery to sin...hello slavery to Christ! Its a great place to serve... in my mercy clothes.

Pursuit of God 2

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 00:46:00 -0600

A couple more quotes from AW Tozer

“When the Lord divided Canaan among the tribes of Israel, Levi received no share of the land. God said to him simply, “I am thy part and thine inheritance,” and by those words made him richer than all his brethren, richer than all the kings and rajas who have ever lived in the world. And there is a spiritual principle here, a principle still valid for every priest of the Most High God”

Its overwhelming to me that WE are PRIESTS!! Levites, that is us. Each of us a leader of worship. Called to minister to God! that just sounds crazy, and yet, that is what Scripture calls us… that is a whole nother post for another day!!

Prayer: “O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still.”

A New Place to Blog

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 19:46:00 -0600

Hi there,

Since I am so non-adept at HTML and finding my way around here, I am moving to where a dear friend can help me, since she knows all about Wordpress!

My new address is, once again an attempt to live A Life of Balance but this time over at Wordpress. I'm not done adding all of you to the side bar, and all that good stuff... but it's shaping up!

Please come visit, and let me know you are dropping in, I"ll add you to my Friends list (I know, it's SO prestigious - insert rolled eyes)

I will keep this sight up for a while, and "double post', for those of you who take a little time to switch me over... plus I really do like it here, even though my new look is... black. :)

The Pursuit of God 1

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:41:00 -0600

I picked up a book I read in college to reread… its been calling my name! The Pursuit of God by AW Tozer. I wanted to share the bits that are challenging me… renewing my thirst and desire for pursuit… reminding me of the URGENCY to pursue!!

Hosea 6:3 “Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: His going forth is prepared as the morning; and He shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.”

“The impulse to pursue God originates with God, but the outworking of that impulse is our following hard after Him.” It is such a paradox, you know? That God drawing, me drawing near business… Psalm 42:1 “As the deer panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after Thee, O God.” and yet the whole time we are STILL in His hand. Pslam 63:8 “My soul followeth hard after Thee: Thy right hand upholdeth me.”

and some long quotes that are sticking hard with me: “The doctrine of justification by faith - a biblical truth, and a blessed relief from sterile legalism and unavailing self-effort - has in our time fallen into evil company and been interpreted by many in such a manner as actually to bar men from the knowledge of God. The whole transaction of religious conversion has been made mechanical and spiritless… Christ may be “received” without creating any special love for Him in the soul of the receiver. The man is “saved”, but he is not hungry nor thirsty after God. In fact, he is specifically taught to be satisfied and is encouraged to be content with little… we have almost forgotten that God is a person, and as such, can be cultivated as any person can. It is inherent in personality to be able to know other personalitites, but full knowledge of one personality by another cannot be achieved in one encounter. It is only after long and loving mental intercourse that the full possibilities of both can be explored.”

and

“How tragic that we in these dark days have had our seeking done for us by our teachers. Everything is made to center upon the initial act of “accepting” Christ (a term, incidentall, which is not found in the Bible) and we are not expected thereafter to crave any further revelation of God to our souls. We have been snared in the coils of spurious logic which insists that if we have found Him, we need no more seek Him… it is taken for granted that no Bible-taught Christian ever believed otherwise. Thus the whole testimony of the worshiping, seeking, singing church on that subject is crisply set aside. The experiential heart-theology of a grand army of fragrant saints is rejected in favor of a smug interpretation of Scripture which would certainly have sounded strange to an Augustine, a Rutherford or a Brainerd.”

There are some though who “admit the force of the argument, and then turn away with tears to hunt some lonely place and pray, “O God, show me Thy glory.” They want to taste, to touch with their hearts, to see with their inner eyes the wonder that is God.

Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall see me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”

Hosea 10:12 “Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the Lord, till He come and rain righteousness upon you.”

On prayer and God speaking... more to come!

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 00:12:00 -0600

I can't get to the blog to copy the link, because I am blocked for some reason, BUT it was everyday mommy that made me want to write something.

God speaks today, but NEVER in contradiction to the Bible.

In the Bible God tells us that God spoke in an audible voice, in a voice that was audible to only one person in a group of people, in inaudible sentences in the mind that were just as clear as audible voices, in impressions, in visions, in dreams, in circumstances, in nature, through angels, and various other ways. (from Surprised by the Voice of God by Jack Deere)

Since He never changes, and Scripture is how we learn who God is and how we are to act, react, interact with Him etc. I feel it is safe to say that we can expect the same from God today. I don’t necessarily think we will ALL hear from God in the same way all the time, but I wouldn’t want to put God in a box and say He would NEVER speak to me in a dream, just because He hasn’t.

Whether all of the above is a PART of prayer or not, I suppose it would depend on your definition. I tend to think of prayer as communication, which is a two way activity in every other use of the word.

I agree with Scripture, that we should not utter vain repetitions… besides being useless to our hearts and minds, without our heart being involved, more importantly it is not pleasing to God… I was reading in Hosea 6:6 “I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifices, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” He WANTS us to know Him intimately… and that doesn’t happen with only me talking to Him. He doesn’t want mindless “canned” prayers, He doesn’t want ritual without thought, he wants our hearts and souls and minds taken up with Him… I think the key word is “vain” – not “repetition”. I’ll be honest. I have vainly repeated the Lord’s prayer many a time in my life. I have vainly recited Scripture, or mindlessly read it out loud in a Bible Study.

And then there are the other times that I have REPEATED, yet by no means vainly… whether it is a sentence, a word, the Lord’s Prayer, a verse, His name, a line of a song, a whole song sung over and over and over… as long as it isn’t ”vain”, it is prayer. As long as it comes from the heart, it is a pleasing fragrance to Him.

new look... yeah kind of boring and uninspiring

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 11:44:00 -0600

I was bored, so I changed the back ground... oops... now I have no links or anything, and I can't get my avatar up... but its still me! I promise!!

lots of thoughts I want to get out... but so little time... might need to movie-fy my children so I can express all my important thoughts that the world just MUST here, or surely they will be lacking!!

I'm playing around with another blog too... but I'll let you know when I switch over... mostly I am discovering how incompetent I am in the blogosphere. Oh well, there are worse things to be lacking in!

Free time - chaos or peace?

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 00:28:00 -0600

I want to escape and have lots of free time.

Last Sunday at our worship gathering we talked about idols... what do we hold tight to that we don't want to let go of, and then we had a long response time where we could draw / mold clay / write / pray...

I "drew" free time... I thought it would look beautiful. I held 3 crayons in my hand and put them on the paper, closed my eyes and just swirled the freedom I wanted. When I opened my eyes, it was chaotic and... ugly, quite frankly!

And it hit me... oh yeah, my free time that I am holding onto so tightly is actually causing the chaos I so desperately want to be FREE from! Go figure. God is so awesome how He will reveal things to us!

Though in my flesh, I don't like routine, ritual, the same thing day in and day out, I can thrive upon the rituals and routines in His Spirit... in fact, He can bring new life and energy and creativity to all those things! JOY no less!!

my child's missionary heart

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 16:47:00 -0600

it seems often lately, my newly 7 yr old is asking about some country, and if they know God? and if not why, etc.

Today's conversation centered around China... we scrapped our Bible lesson, and talked about the church in China, the underground church (K: how do they get in?) - that the church was a PEOPLE not a building, the precious Scriptures, persecution, governments...

He wants to write a letter to our mayor and tell him to go talk to the Chinese government and tell them about God...

He wanted to know if he told Chinese people about God, if God would protect him... hmmm. well, lets define protection...

yes you could end up in prison, and if you were in prison, God would protect you, and that could mean dying in prison. Because nothing can happen to you or us without God knowing EXACT LY what it is and how it fits into His purpose for us...

this related back to a question he asked me in the car the other day... "Why did God take Hewett (his twin) to heaven, and why did God leave me here?" - And it hit me as clear as day... God has an amazing purpose for this boy... He has a plan, a "job", a.... PURPOSE, and that is why he is here, so we had just talked about that a few days ago.

asking these questions about a country other than our own can change our answers!! Something I was thinking of... YES God always provides... in our culture, that means he will provide for us to pay our mortgage... is that Biblical? Will I always have enough for vegetables and meat for my family? just because in American we think that is proper provision? how about the church in China? how about the natives in Papua New Guinea? How about the Christians in India? Sudan? the homeless? hmmmmmm

Yeah, I think we have a bit of a skewed idea of God's provision / protection / promises. We see them through our culture's lenses...