A place for encouragement as we aspire to grow Christlike children, and if we educate them along the way--that's okay too. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:08:00 -0600 Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:08:00 -0600 I've begun a family blog here: http://townsendfamilyfive.blogspot.com/ It's easier than homeschoolblogger to navigate and I feel free to not focus on homeschooling. So if anyone still reads this, check us out over there! Thanks! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/445775/ Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:08:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/445775/ Yes, I have been missing for a while.  We've just been too busy!  I just wanted to post something so that I know I'm still blogging, even just a little. I have to say, I love blogging.  But I'm intimidated by these blogs that are SOOO good and get awards and are so helpful and encouraging and popular.  I think I'm intimidated because I know that if I dedicated time to mine, it could be good like theirs too (maybe not win awards, but at least count toward some good in this world!).  However, I feel like so much of my time is already sucked up by the computer and I end up doing no housework or school or anything.  Also, I've been wanting to focus on my own personal writing more and my photography as well.  So with that being said, I believe I'm going to take a planned break from this.  I know I've taken unplanned breaks.  But I'm going to forget about my blog for awhile and try to stay away from the computer.  I know, I know--that only affects about 10 of you who actually read this thing!  :)  Hopefully, I will find that I DO have plenty of time in my day to get stuff done and maybe my kids will stop fighting so much!   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/339464/ Thu, 7 Jun 2007 15:38:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/339464/ Lately I've been beleaguered by these thoughts that I'm not doing enough.  Not just with school--I think all of us  homeschool mom's feel like we can't possibly get it all in each day!  I've heard that even public school teachers have that problem! By not doing enough, I mean by what I'm teaching my children about life.  Case in point--lately, life has been beyond busy.  My oldest daughter has soccer practice 2 times a week with a game on another day; she has ballet twice a week and helps teach in my youngest's class on one of those days; and piano one day a week.  My son has baseball practice once a week and a game on another day.  My youngest daughter has soccer practice one day and a game on another, as well as ballet once a week.  This is just the normal schedule.  This doesn't include birthday parties, special projects, chores, etc.  I can hear many wise women telling us to pare down, slow life down a bit, take it easy.  We've tried and we prayerfully consider all these activities, especially the ones we also are involved in (my husband coaches 2 of the teams afore mentioned).  But here's the problem--I have had no time to cook or clean.  We eat out constantly.  The house is a pile of organized piles and dust.  I'm overwhelmed and behind in everything.  Therefore, I sleep more than I intend to because I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. So, I feel like my daughters are not learning anything about being a good wife and mom.  That's when the thoughts creep in, of all the homeschooling mom's I hear about that grind wheat, bake bread, grow their vegetables, zone clean, run a farm, sew clothes, write in their blogs, renovate a house, eat only organic food, and invent some great homeschooling resource and then run a business for it!  I want to do it all and I want my girls to grow up to be capable women. But then I think about how I was not raised to be like one of those women.  If my family were to run like one of those families, we would have very little in common with the people we try to minister to.  I know God has made me a certain way, I just don't want to sell my kids short.  I don't necessarily want them growing up like me.  I guess my main concern is that I'm not teaching my girls what I should be teaching them; my workload is overwhelming me; I'm falling short of what I'm supposed to be; and I'm trying to figure out how I'm supposed to be me and still be different than what's comfortable for me.  Does any of that make sense? http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/320949/ Sat, 28 Apr 2007 19:56:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/320949/ How many of you have children that have a special "lovey" or favorite "stuffie"?  Each of my children has had one. My oldest had a Hello Kitty stuffed animal that she swiped from me when she was around 9 months old.  We took this Kitty everywhere.  We lost this Kitty everywhere.  I recall a rainy night about 9pm.  We realized we'd lost Kitty at a local grocery store that was about 5 miles away--a bit of a drive.  We called and they were closed, but they had found Kitty and would put her in a brown paper sack behind the dumpster in the front of the store.  Daddy made that trip and our little one fell asleep quickly.  There are other stories like this one, but you know what I'm talking about.  Eventually, she lost Kitty for good.  It was a sad day.  We bought a replacement one, but it wasn't quite the same.  Around that time, she got very attached to a blanket my grandma had made her and now, at the age of 8, that is still her "lovey". Now, our son became attached to a Veggie Tales pillow I made him when he was about 6 months old.  He called it his "brrrr" because he couldn't talk.  Even today at age 6, he has a remnant piece of that "brrrr".  So many trips back to friend's houses or searching around the house and under beds looking for that pillow at bedtime!  It even fell into the fire one time and Daddy bravely saved it (you should have heard the scream from our then 4 year old son!).  He's now moved onto a few other "lovey" type of items, but no real special lovey.  That kind of makes me sad!  :( Enter our baby of the family.  She, at our urging, adopted a little Gerber blanket as her special lovey around 6 months old.  About 2 months later, we (Daddy) lost this lovey at a restaurant, so we bought a replacement one.  However, they were a bit different now since that first one was given to our older daughter 4 years earlier (she never was into it).  So while the first one was white flannel with pink crepe like edging, this new one was white flannel on one side, with yellow satin backing and trim.  She LOVED it!  So much that she took it everywhere and around ages 19 months old--LOST IT!  So we bought another identical one.  This one did get thrown into a steelhead lake at the fish hatchery, but for the most part, it was well preserved.  We were good, until last summer when our adorable 3 year old lost it at a local science museum.  After a week of calling lost and found, we decided it was gone forever.  So, instead of letting her break the attachment--I sewed her a bigger, pink, silky, ballet decorated lovey.  She still asks for the "yellow one at OMSI" occasionally but loves this pink one.  Then, she lost this pink lovey before Christmas this year and almost broke her attachment again, but then in January opened her backpack and found it (she had taken it to preschool for show and tell and forgot it was in there).  Now, for the whole point of this long story.  She lost the pink lovey again last  night and slept without it overnight.  At bedtime tonight, she started crying for it and I backtracked our day yesterday.   I realized the kids had been outside all day, so I took the flashlight out.  I found the lovey outside, in a camping chair, at the top of the play set under cover.  I had to climb up 3 rungs on a ladder in my pj's and flipflops to get this forgotten and lost lovey. As I was walking in, I pondered on how it's possible to lose something, or to forget something, that is so important to us.  If my kids can't "survive" without their lovies, why do they forget them or lose them so often?  Then I softly heard the voice of the Lord saying, "If you love me so much and can't survive without me, as you claim, then why do you forget about me and lose me so often?"  How many times have I left the Lord in the cold rain?  How many times have I retreived my Lord from behind a dumpster, when I recalled my need for him?  How many times have I allowed my relationship with the Lord become tattered and worn down to remnants because of my mistreatment?  How many times have I "replaced" my Lord with a new lord and treated him as if he's replaceable?  I know I struggle in this area-- I always have.  But this real life object lesson brought it home to me how desperately I need the Lord and how often I mistreat him.  I also realized the day my children stop having lovies is going to be a sad day indeed, even with all the trouble of losing them and finding them--and I know this day is coming soon.  My 8 year old teeters on the verge of being a tween and is already having hormonal issues.  I know my baby days are numbered.  Which is why I'll gladly go out searching for a lost lovey in the cold rain, just like my Lord would come search for me when I am lost and all alone. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/317950/ Sat, 21 Apr 2007 22:50:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/317950/ Today, I think, was a perfect day.  Did I get everything done?  Nope.  Did I get anything done?  Maybe.  But it's about 10pm here on a Monday night and I feel at peace.  Today, I was up by 9am--a HUGE achievement for me.  We had breakfast--just cereal, but still--we ate early and together.  Then, we dressed/showered.  We started school--the preschooler got more done than my kindergartener!  My 2nd grader got all of her independent work done.  At noon, my mentor and dear friend came over with a pizza.  My kids love her, I love her--she's a blog entry all on her own.  We talked, mostly about my church situation.  She recently left our church, not for any of the dramatic reasons I'm going through.  But she's a wise, listening ear and a gentle heart.  She listened and gave wise counsel and prayed with me.  After she left, we cleaned up and ran an errand, then were off to ballet for my oldest!  Normally, the younger 2 are with Grandma F., but she's unavailable for awhile, so together we all went.  It was uneventful!  We came home, we hung out, we loved on Daddy.  I made chicken and stuffing casserole.  We at dinner together and played high/low.  We interviewed our 3 year old and all laughed.  My 8 year old made a cake; I did dishes and laundry; the girls folded laundry.  The boys went to the store.  We ate cake.  The 3 year old nearly cracked her head falling out of her chair (a daily event, but this head bonk was a bit harder than usual).  We loved on her; we cleaned up for dinner.  As I wiped down the counter, it hits me.  Today was a perfect day.  I loved my family.  I served my family.  I spent time with a dear friend.  I didn't just survive today.  I lived today.  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/315506/ Tue, 17 Apr 2007 00:17:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/315506/ You know that game from the early 90's, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon?  The one that was based on a play, Six Degrees of Separation--its concept is that everyone in Hollywood can be traced to Kevin Bacon within 6 people.  Well, it's recently been brought to my attention that there should be a game, Six Degrees of Stacie.  Well, it's not a real recent discovery that I know a lot of people, but lately, it's been getting out of control. Some friends of mine, back when we were college age, used to say, "Everywhere you go, you see someone you know."  It's true too.  I've grown up in this city my whole life.  I went to a junior high where we split and half of us went to one high school and the other half to another high school.  So my radius spread.  I also spent one year at an elementary school on the west side of town, so I have contacts over there.  Also, I was class President all 3 years of high school, so I knew a lot of people, at least knew who they were.  I was also in choir, drama, Honor Society, Peer Mentors, tennis, basketball, basketball stats...yes, I was an overscheduled girl.  Then, in college, I started going to a church where most of the poeple grew up in schools on the west side and I went to the local community college...my net grew wider!  Now, I have kids!  That explains it all!  With all the teams we coach and play on--3 kids in one sport each with 4 seasons each year with 8-12 kids per team--yeah, do the math--I've made lots of new friends since we've had kids!  Get this--even in the hospital having my first child, there were 2 other women there having babies that we knew from 2 different birth classes (they didn't know each other), but we all 3 ended up in a play group together.  This was the same birth where I ended up going to high school with one of the nurses, and another one of my nurses helped deliver one of my friend's baby the week before and she knew my uncle.  Or here's another one--we had this Utilities guy come out to do an energy evaluation and after talking for awhile, it turns out he's one of my uncle's best friends and remembers me from when I was little!  This is what I run into ALL THE TIME! Okay, before I go on any longer and make you think this entry is going to be all about how popular I am (that's not what I'm trying to do here-sorry), let me get to the point.  Here's the problem--lately I've been feeling like the fact that I know a lot of people...irritates a lot of people.  I'm wondering if I should keep it to myself whenever I find a connection to someone.  And I feel bad about myself, like something's wrong with me that I have this problem.  Then I get mad that maybe it's just how God made me, to have a lot of friends and know a lot of people...I just like people; I like that I remember most of the people that I grew up with; and I like finding out about people's lives.  My best friend said that the problem isn't me, it's that people who didn't grow up here don't understand about being someone who grew up here.  Our city has grown so much that most people think it's weird to still have that many connections.  So I don't know.  I just know that tonight when I bared my soul about this issue to my husband, sharing with him that I think a friend of mine is irritated with me lately and this is the only thing I can think of that would be the problem--he said he could see how it would be irritating to have a friend with my "connections".  So I feel like something is wrong with me and I'm not sure how to NOT be the way I am.  I thought knowing a lot of people and having a lot of friends would be considered one of my few good qualities!  Anyway, I just thought it funny that my life is like that Kevin Bacon game.  Now I feel like testing it on everyone I know (without telling them of course) to see what their degree of separation is from me!  Yeah, because I have so-o-o much time on my hands, right?  ;) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/306836/ Fri, 30 Mar 2007 01:19:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/306836/ So today at the grocery store, I ran into an old friend.  After talking for awhile, it came around to "So how old are your children?  What school do they go to?"  When I told her and her boyfriend that I homeschool the kids, she mentioned how hard it must be.  I replied that yes, it is hard, but I love it and feel it's worth it.  The boyfriend pipes up, "What do you they do for interaction, for friends, for stimulation?"  Okay, I am one of those people who rehearses what she will say so that,when faced with the "socialization" question, I don't let emotion get in the way of an informative answer.  I also don't like to list off all the activities that they're in to "prove" they're socialized. Well, this week has been a hard one and today, I'm drained.  So do you think I gave my rehearsed answer?  OH NO-O-O-O!!  I answered, "I have no worries about that--they're in ballet, soccer, basketball, piano, and we do a co-op."  They're faces relaxed and they said, "Oh good!" (as if I needed their approval, right?)  But then, in my irritation with the question, I couldn't let it rest.  So I add, "Socialization doesn't worry me.  Besides, do you want other 9 year olds teaching your 9 year old how to act in life?  We don't hang out with only adults our age, why are public school students forced to do that?  Socialization is the least of my concerns when it comes to schooling!"  I could feel my cheeks getting red and realized I was letting myself get all worked up.  Thankfully, her phone rang at that moment and the conversation died.  However, later on they passed us in the frozen food aisle and--yes, sinner that I am--I quickly and loudly said to my daughter, "Okay, so what is .75 cents plus .75 cents?"--to prove to them that she's smart and we can do school anywhere!  AAHHH--what a flawed creature I am!  But I'm sure all of you out there relate and understand my reaction.  I just can't believe I took the bait and allowed the socialization question to get to me!  :) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/304771/ Sun, 25 Mar 2007 22:46:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/304771/ I'm posting an article I wrote this month for my AWESOME co-op's newsletter.  I love writing.  I wish I could be an author, but I'm out of practice and have no time!  Anyway, just thought I'd share this here on my blog as well. Moms, how often have you complained to your husband of all your homeschooling responsibilities?  Have you ever found yourself critical of his role in the homeschool—thinking, “He never looks over their schoolwork” or “He doesn’t offer to help with any of the homeschooling, he just assumes I’m teaching them something valuable!”  How about complaining that you feel unsupported and alone?  (I know, for some of you out there this may be your actual situation.  This admonishment doesn’t apply to your situation, but for you, I do pray that you would not be unsupported for long.)  But for most of us, our situation is not as dire as we perceive it to be!  Recently, I described my husband as a “Shore Dad”, a father who stands on the shoreline of the homeschooling ocean and shouts out encouraging words to us, while the kids and I are in the ocean swimming.  Oh sure, he supports us —but does he really know what we’re doing?  If asked to explain to a social worker or school official what we’re teaching, could he?  Really, Shore Dads have one foot in the water, but haven’t jumped in.  At least, that’s what I thought.  But recently, a wise and experienced homeschooling dad heard my analogy and offered a different description.  He suggested that I consider the challenges my husband faces as a homeschooling father.  Things like only meeting the other co-op parents once or twice a year, thus being unable to forge relationships with them.  Or looking at our pictures of all our fun field trips-minus him!  Or going to work all day, only to come home to a dirty house and no dinner—and then, doing the dishes and cooking while Mom finishes up the co-op newsletter (mind you, he would do it lovingly and cheerfully)!  This man then suggested that a homeschooling father is really the propeller that’s pushing the boat in this homeschooling ocean—while we (Mom and children) are riding inside.  Yes, dear mothers, our husbands who seem to not take an interest in our journey, or who don’t know how to take an interest, are still involved.  They are the driving force behind this journey, even when it’s not always so easy to be the one left behind, or to be the one doing the pushing and never the riding.  With that in mind, I found myself looking for ways to make it easier for my husband to become more involved in our homeschool.  Below you’ll find a partial list I borrowed from  Michael Farris called “Top 40 Practical Ideas for Fathers” (I used 32 of them): 1. Give your children their spelling tests. 2. Do flash card drills to hone your children's memorization of math facts. 3. Read your little children a story. 4. Read your bigger children the "Chronicles of Narnia" by C.S. Lewis. 5. Do the dishes with your children, while regaling them with stories of your deprived childhood in which you had to do this task without the aid of a dishwasher. 6. Do the grocery shopping. 7. Take your kids to a museum or historical site. 8. Go for a hike with your children & talk about their dreams. 9. Read your children a chapter of the Bible every evening. 10. Make sure your children read the newspaper everyday by the time they are 11 or 12. 11. Discuss current events at the dinner table. Calmly . 12. Be honest when you take them to a restaurant or movie that charges a different rate for children under 12. 13. Read their essays & offer praise and constructive suggestions. 14. Watch the children while your wife goes on a walk. 15. Take the kids shopping & explain the process to them. 16. Take your kids to a minor-league baseball game. 17. Turn off the television. 18. Pray with your children & for them regularly. 19. Be a man & avoid exposing yourself to any pornography on television, on the Internet or in magazines. 20. Talk to your children before you impose discipline when they have done wrong. 21. Hug them afterwards. 22. Play silly games that involve lots of hugging & wrestling on the family-room rug. 23. Take your children to your childhood neighborhood & give them a tour of your memories. 24. Hug them before & after work. 25. Never, ever, ever swear at your children. 26. Apologize to them when you wrong them. 31. Express genuine delight when they draw a picture for you. Put the pictures in a place that shows the children you are proud of them. 27. Plant a garden together. 28. Teach them--nicely--to strive for excellence in their work. 29. Watch your boys play baseball & your daughters perform ballet with equal enthusiasm.  Better yet, coach them if you can! 30. Ask them what they want to be when they grow up. 31. Give them a vision worth living for &  worth dying for, 32. Love their mother intensely.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/299156/ Wed, 14 Mar 2007 01:50:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/299156/ I was catching up on my news via various web sites, such as NBC.com or comcast.net, and I came across this article on msn.com: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17384261/ The title of it is "Kids gain more weight when school's out" with the subtitle of "School's do a better job of keeping kids trim than parents, study finds" Now, I'm all for encouraging parents to exercise with their kids more & mandating schools to serve healthier foods.  However, I have lots of strong feelings about the implications of this so called study.  Lots of thoughts that are in no organized order: 1.  Who's financing the study? 2.  Does more time away from the family and in the government system also guarantee solid future mental, emotional and spiritual health the way it "guarantees" future physical health? 3.  Whatever happened to summer vacation, a break from school and rules and regulations?  The lazy days of summer? 4.  How long before CPS and the govt. start regulating our children's diets and exercise routine? 5.  I resent the implication that the schools can do anything better than me for my child. 6.  Sadly, if we looked at the participants in the study, we would find that the majority of these kids in the study are not home with their parent's during the summer, but either home by themselves or with a daycare provider. 7.  Perhaps if the government and any other private company that are so concerned with our children's weight should focus less attention on whose fault it is and how we can keep the kids in our robot making factories longer each day, and instead focus on how to make healthy foods more affordable, or how to get the junk food off the shelves.  Maybe they should fine the companies that make junk food and market it towards children.  Or maybe they should do something about the cost of living so those of us who do struggle with weight and go broke teaching their children how to eat healthy could actually afford groceries that are organic or hormone free!  8.  Likewise, maybe they should offer those of us who participate in organized exercise on a regular basis a tax credit.  We belong to a community center/gym, we participate in sports year round, and we regularly take walks, go on bike rides, play in the backyard, go swimming, dance, etc.  9.  I find that I am more and more condenscending towards the school system, as well as the government in other areas of life.  I'm trying hard not to sin in my attitude toward these systems, but with rumours of longer school days, more requirements, lower scores, teacher inadequacies, and the self-righteous attitude I encounter among the majority of public school teachers I meet--it's hard.  I need to keep my attitude in check! Anyway, these are just my random thoughts that were sparked by this article.  I agree that lots of kids have parents who don't care; who leave them to their own vices during time off from school.  I understand that, for these kids, school is a safe haven at times and that it may be the only place they get any guidance on health, nutrition, exercise, etc.  That breaks my heart!  But I don't care for what is being implicated by this study, or that many people will use this small piece of info and say, "See, we told you more school is necessary!" Just my ramblings!   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/292776/ Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:09:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/292776/ Okay, I thought about getting on here at least once a day since my last post, to give a positive report on how things have been improving (thank you to all who are praying for me and checking in with me!).  But what is it today that finally draws me back to the keyboard?  That's right--a problem!  ARRGH!  First let me say that God has been answering prayers.  I did go back on a very low dose of my regular anti-depressant and it has helped.  I don't sleep until 11am every day and I am doing better.  I might up my dosage a bit more, but for now it's been a good kick in the pants to get me going where I need to.  Also, my mom helped us get a car and they financed it so we pay them with no interest!  Another praise! But here I come today, worried about my son, again.  He seems to be having issues still.  Today was a very hard day, with lots of emotional outbursts.  I also noticed he pulls his hair when he's stressed, which is a new habit.  Today he got very frustrated with his eye/facial tics, which the Dr. says are normal and nothing to worry about.  He also got very upset with himself all day and kept saying, "This is the worst day" or "I can't do anything right" or the worst, throwing himself on the floor at WalMart and saying "I hate myself".  This is normally in response to either a reprimand from us or being told to something he wants to do.  He also started hitting himself today.  I know--all signs of low self esteem or depression, or even emotional manipulation (I did all of these when I was a teen to get attention).  However, baby boy is only 6!  Either option doesn't sit well with me!  Also, I am feeling doubly worse because when he was ages 1-3.5, I was very hard on him.  I was super depressed and not controlling my anger and he was super hard to control--I took it out on him, both physically and verbally.  The details are for another day--I didn't abuse him by any means--I just wasn't very nurturing or loving during moments that I could have been.  I was harsh and belittling and unkind.  I think that I made him this way.  Even if it's depression, that's genetic and it's still from me.  So I'm having severe guilt over this and my heart breaks for this little boy who's having such a hard time in life. Please pray for my son, as well as my 2 daughters who are stressing out over him stressing out.  We are seeking a Christian family counselor to help us and hopefully, we can see some improvement over the summer.  I just worry that I damaged him emotionally when he was little and that is something I could never forgive myself for.  I'm scared, I'm worried and I'm tired of the ups and downs! Thank you, dear blog buddies, for  listening to me vent and for caring aboutmy woes.  It's been a bit lonely in my life lately and I've much appreciated these distant relationships!   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/287940/ Mon, 19 Feb 2007 21:17:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingingANewSong/287940/