Thrills and spills at Guilford - Homeschool Blogger

Understanding More Clearly

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:25:00 -0500

Last school year was extremely difficult for me personally. Without publishing a lot of personal details I can really summarize it best by saying misunderstanding, harsh judgement, loss of friendship and a lack of compassion were my world for way too long. I was thinking about what a difference this year has been for myself and my family this past week.

We have been under a Dr. ordered quarantine; a direct result of the H1N1 visit to our house. I woke this morning thinking on difference in our family's school year because this week we have been recipients of an outpouring of compassion from my homeschool support group. A quick email to our Yahoo group of connection from one well meaning friend and before I knew it phone calls were flooding our house, meals distributed and problems solved for our family. At a time when everyone should have been walking away from us to save their own health they were walking toward us; the hands and feet of Christ.

I think as church members we all are very good at this. Walking towards the wounded when they are ill, but are we always as sensitive when the pain is not as obvious? I was challenged by this thought; are we as sensitive when the hurting are suffering from emotional pain? Do we run toward one another when others walk away because the social stigma of sticking close is too much? Is this not the greater challenge?

I realized when thinking on this that this was exactly what had hurt me so deeply last year. At a time when I needed the love of close friendships to walk toward me they walked away. For whatever their reasons they left. Betrayal, loss, loneliness.....it cuts like a knife to the heart especially when it is dished out so easily. Peter learned this lesson the hard way in the garden and all four of his gospel writing buddies thought it important enough to record it so that we might learn from it. When a friend is hurting don't pretend you can't see it, even if the cost is great. Walk toward them, disregard the danger, love them. Don't deny what they mean to you. Don't walk away.

I wondered if I have tragically been guilty of this same crime and mentally noted to learn from it. I believe with every hardship comes a lesson. God doesn't allow us to experience the evil of this world without offering up hope and promise or at least an agreement that evil should not. When I recognize that betrayal is unacceptable in God's eyes I am comforted and warned. I note to tread warily through life in an effort to never hurt anyone as I have been hurt and remember to offer forgiveness to those seeking it when it happens to me.

End of my sermon on this rainy, October day surrounded by viruses and compassion.

A Miracle to Start the School Year

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 20:37:00 -0500

It was the first week of school and I was already aggravated. My dear 12 year old daughter needed to start her Latin lesson for the first time; a leftover from the previous school year. I asked her where the necessary DVD set of lectures were and she gave me a stereotypical 12 year old response. "You had it last. I don't know where YOU put it". After a gentle reminder that she was responsible for her own school supplies and that we absolutely couldn't move forward in Latin without the DVD's she began her search for the missing set.

Nearly an hour of her time was wasted before she broke into tears of desperation. The DVD's were gone, gone, gone! She had looked everywhere! Her brother helped her look searching out an armoire used for school storage, several bookcases and of course her desk. Frustrated by the lack of responsibility and the seeming black hole that had obviously taken residence in our home I told my daughter that the DVD's must be found or, or, or......Well, I really didn't know what, but certainly purchasing a new set was not an option.

I helped her in her search and her father did too. We checked the bookcases, other DVD boxes, the DVD player.....nothing, nada, zip. Frustrated I lectured my daughter again about responsibility as I tried to spur on a loose memory in her. She was in tears and my heart began to melt. She had no idea what to do next and I reminded her that we hadn't prayed about the situation. She nodded, sniffed and the two of us took that moment to surrender our DVD problem to God.

"Lord, you are all knowing and certainly know where these silly DVD's are. Please, God if it is your will help us to find these DVD's because we cannot find them on our own."

The next day we had a history lesson about the Martyrs of the early church. My daughter's assignment was to write out her testimony or a story about how God had worked in her life. As she finished her assignment she walked to the nearby bookcase to return the history text. I was in another room chatting on the phone with a friend who suddenly placed me on call waiting. As I waited patiently for her return I heard my daughter yell at me from the other room.

"Mom! Did you put this here?"

"What?" I answered.

Micah, my dear 12 year old daughter, brought forth......the Latin DVD's!

"Where did you find them"? I queried.

"You will NEVER believe this", she said. "They were sitting right on the bookcase when I went to return the history book!"

"Had they fallen down behind another book"? I asked.

"No!" she exclaimed. "They were RIGHT THERE!"

I smiled at the obvious gift that God had given to me and Micah. Our simple prayer had been answered and right at the moment that Micah was focused on thinking of Him as a result of a history assignment. I asked her if she had told God thank you for finding them and she said not yet.

I said, "Well THANK YOU God! for finding the silly DVD's for us and showing us once again who is really in charge".

My friend was back from her call waiting interruption and I couldn't wait to tell her about the miracle at our house. Homeschooling at its best!

In memory of my son Ian

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:24:00 -0500

Ten years ago I rushed my four young children through their day in an effort to attend the closing program for the library's summer reading club, eat lunch and still make it to my routine OB appointment in the late afternoon. I was annoyed that I hadn't been able to find a sitter for the Dr. appointment which to me always meant a moment of tranquil solitude while waiting to be seen. Taking four children with me to the appointment would entail reading Clifford the Big Red Dog and Dr. Seuss instead of People Magazine. Hopefully, I would be able to keep everyone happy and stress could be kept to a minimum.

Ironically, the wait was short that day and my "party of five" moved quickly through the exam process of being weighed and listening to the baby's heartbeat. The baby's heartbeat....the baby's.....wait a minute.. The nurse couldn't find that heatbeat for some reason. No worries...the Dr. would be able to track that little guy without a problem. It was evident that the baby was just playing a little game of hide and seek.

My gentle and patient Dr. had no luck and whisked me to room number two for an impromptu ultrasound. My four kids squealed with delight in hearing they would get to see their little brother or sister on the ultrasound. I caught my Dr.'s very serious and sad expression as he gazed at their enthusiasm and suddenly wanted to run. The ultrasound confirmed our worst fears....the baby had died.

Surrounded by my four little kids and my Dr. I found myself having to answer my eight year old's question as to why I was crying. Arrangements were made to have my Mom pick up the kids and get me to a nearby hospital. I would need to deliver this baby as soon as possible as the risk to my health would increase the longer we waited. My routine office visit turned into my worst nightmare and a life changing event for all of us.

About two weeks later we held a memorial service for our little boy, Ian David. I was having a very hard time processing through the grief associated with child loss and decided to write my son a letter. I wanted to read the letter at the service as a shout out to the world that I was in pain. I wanted the world to cry with me and was selfishly trying to faciltate that.

What I intended for evil God chose to use as a testimony of His love and providential care. So many people at the memorial told me my message "changed" them, helping them realize the value of life. It brought meaningful tears to their eyes. I had inadvertently been used by God for His purpose. Understanding this truth actually allowed me to see that Ian's life and death had some sort of meaning; a purpose.

Over the past ten years I have shared Ian's letter with many people by email and personally at the time of child loss. I am always amazed at its impact and thank God each time for bringing more meaning and value to my son's life. August 18th will mark the 10 year "birthday" for my little boy. It was the beginning and end of his life, a tragedy, a deep aching sadness for me, but an anniversary for our family which marks a more intimate knowledge of God's love, compassion and intervention in our lives.

I am sharing Ian's letter on this blog to honor his memory. My hope is it will bless you greatly too.

My Dear Sweet Ian,

I just looked at your pictures once again. So small, so perfectly formed, God’s little miracle, lying in a little bassinet. As I look at your face I see the little boy you were becoming. Perhaps it is a mother’s love or a gift of vision from God, but I can see you. My sadness, Ian comes from having to say goodbye to tomorrow with you. No dirty little tennis shoes to trip over by the door, no chocolate covered face to wipe after your first Oreo, no sweet smelling baby to snuggle with. I wanted to tell you so many things. Mothers are like that---chatty.

I wanted to hold you in my arms snuggled up in little receiving blankets smelling of Dreft. We would sit by the windows in the big white wicker rocking chair in my room, rocking, singing lullabies and watching the snow fall. There is lots of snow in January in Ohio and for the first time of my adult life I was looking forward to the snow because it would mean winter and you!

You have made such a difference in our lives, little Ian. Some people say,”Oh, just 17 weeks- the baby must not have been very big”. But, oh Ian, the changes that your little life brought to this family are the size of mountains. When I found out you were on your way, the joy I felt was incredible. I know this is a common experience for many women, but I must admit, little Ian, it took me a long time to embrace the reality of a new pregnancy with joy and not fear or worry. You, little man, brought that gift to me. As you grew and I grew I was so excited because each day brought me closer to meeting you face to face. People would tease me saying “Five Children! Oh! How will you cope!” Never once did I fear, because I finally realized motherhood was not about me. Children are God’s gift to a family to make it stronger and never a burden or inconvenience. You and God brought this gift to me. Thank you!

Your life brought joy to your brother and sisters. Courtney and Samantha were looking forward to being ‘babysitters”, miniature Moms. We would look at little outfits when we shopped and imagine you wearing them. When Jonah was loud and charging “dragons” through the living room we would give each other a knowing look, shake our heads and say, “Oh what will it be like with two little boys making noise”. We were looking forward to the chaos.

Jonah, your big brother was planning adventures with you. You would share a room with bunkbeds, you on the bottom of course, and plan your little boy adventures. He even announced to us one day that he’d better learn to change diapers.

“Why?”, we asked.

“Because”, he said, “when this baby is born I’m going to share a room with him and I’d better learn to change his diapers!”

Dad and I laughed and told him we were sure we could help him out with that.

When we would see commercials on TV of little babies, Jonah would say, “Will my little brother really be that small”? “At first”, I would say, “but then he will grow and you can teach him all about being a boy”. Jonah loved you and will always love you.

Micah, although too small to express herself, knew you were coming. She loves babies. As she held her baby doll or saw a baby somewhere she would say, “Baby!” with joy and recognition. “Yes”, we would say, “that’s a baby and you are going to get a new baby at your house right after Christmas. Did you know there is a baby in Mommy’s tummy ? Your little brother or sister”? Sometimes, confused she would look under my shirt and say, “Baby?” Near the end of your pregnancy, she occasionally would pat my tummy and say, “Baby” with a smile of understanding. She knew you were with us.

Your Dad does not have the soul of an poet and is usually a man of little words. He is a logical thinker that loves to solve problems that drive other people crazy. He is a wonderful loving father and even though you did not get to spend time in his company he loved you.

Daddy was the first person to announce your impending arrival to cousins and aunts and uncles. We had decided to wait a few weeks to make sure things were “okay” before we told family and friends about you. A week later, we were at a party and guess who was leaking the best kept secret? Daddy. He was excited about having a new baby to hold.

In the past month, he had begun to talk about you and how wonderful that you would be born in the winter. All of your brothers and sisters were born in the summer months when days are long and busy. Daddy’s thinking was that being born in the winter would give you time to sleep peacefully at home, growing and getting healthy and strong before meeting the rest of the world. It would give our family time to bond as we snuggled by the fire, watched you sleep in your little bassinet, and rested in the quiet peacefulness only home can bring.

I knew how proud Daddy was of you after a conversation I overheard at a wedding last month. He saw an old work associate who he hadn’t spoken to in 11 years. They were catching up on each other’s lives when the man asked Daddy if he had any kids. “Yes!” He said proudly, “Five”. I had to remind him that number five, you, were not officially here yet and perhaps he should explain that. It didn’t matter Ian that you were not in his arms because you were already in his heart.

Our family is planning a big vacation to Disney World in September. We talked about you and joked that you, Micah, and I would not be able to ride the roller coasters this time. We would pick out a sweet little souvenir, perhaps a Pooh Bear, to give to you when you were born. We would always tell you the story of your first vacation to Disney World and remember our first vacation together as a family.

You are so much a part of our family, Ian David. We have cried buckets of tears over the cancelled dreams, tomorrow's memories lost, and the pain of your presence being taken from us. The comfort we find is from God and caring, family and friends. We know you are in a perfect place with no sorrow, no pain, no fear, no loneliness. Our world, although it has its Disney Worlds, is not a perfect place and you have been spared. You will never have to look at a beautiful flower only to have it make you sneeze, enjoy the beautiful sunshine only to have it burn you or fail in love with someone only to have them break your heart.

The love you are experiencing is beyond my little mind, but I thank God for eternal life, eternal love, eternal comfort for you and all His children. We will miss you sweet boy and as we go through life’s stages we will always wonder, “What if Ian were here?” and remember our love for you.

As painful as it has been to lose my dreams of your growing up and growing older with me, I praise God that you were in my life. You have brought joy to this family, but even greater a bond for us that will never be severed. We now know that nothing, even death, can separate our love for each other. There are a long list of earthly memories lost, but I have come to realize Ian they are my problems, not yours. For you are in heaven and as painful as it is for me to let you go it is better for you. True love, I have learned, must be unconditional and self-less. God expects that of parents.

How does a mother say, “Goodbye” to her child? Well, she can’t. It hurts too much. So today, I am here to say, “Au Revoir” sweet boy. I have always loved the French language, France and now I am so grateful for that culture because they have a simple phrase which allows me to say goodbye” without finality. “Au Revoir”. It means until we meet again. And so, I don’t have to say, “Goodbye”, but “See you later!”

Love, Mommy

To Honor the Graduate...

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:00:00 -0500

It's deja vu! Last year right about this time I was anticipating the impending graduation of my first child from our little homeschool. I found myself wondering where the years had gone, sorting through old photographs, preparing a speech and party. It was overwhelming, but I knew at least I would have two years to recover as my second child was due to graduate in 2010. Then my sweet, 17 year old daughter came home from her 3 month long mission trip this December and announced she needed to be done with high school. Really? Are you sure?

There was no question as to credits earned or her ability to handle college work....she was already enrolled to start college in January as a post-secondary student. We both prayed about the decision and in early February, she became a Senior in high school.

Her Senior year came to completion May 28th at the conclusion of a wonderful little homeschool recognition night. I am re-printing my speech to her that evening in honor of her and in an effort to share with all of you that are wondering how a homeschooler can graduate early. Congratulations dear Samantha!

Sammi, ma chouette, you did it! We are standing here tonight celebrating a long journey for you my little reluctant homeschooler. I know there were many days when you thought this day would never come, but I always knew it would. I always knew you could.

I remember the day I told you that Dad and I had decided you were going to homeschool and not join your sister at Lincoln. You cried. Why? Why? Why? You kept asking me. You were graduating pre-school, had just gotten a new baby sister to hold and couldn’t understand what your parents were thinking. There were a lot of different reasons Dad and I made that decision, but seeing you so sad broke my heart. It was then I resolved that I would do my best to fill your homeschool experience with song, dance and joy filled memories.

Although there have been some bumpy moments I think it is safe to say we managed to keep you singing and dancing throughout the years. Dad and I have always enjoyed being a part of your audience. Our laughter, applause and appreciation of you will never end.

As I looked through the volumes of photos I have taken the past 17 years searching for photos for your slideshow I couldn’t help but notice a constant theme jumping out at me. One was your infectious smile that never seemed to be missing. The other was the love you have for your brothers and sisters and friends. What a testimony to your life these photos are because they show the world you are a girl with endless love in her heart, joy to share, and boundless energy and spirit.

I have loved being your teacher for the past 11 years. I know I haven’t always been your favorite person, but you have always been one of mine. I guess I was supposed to teach you many things, but many times I feel I have been the student. I have constantly admired your courage, boldness and endurance. Your fierce determination continually inspires me and your ability to wisely dissect situations has brought me peace on many occasions. Sometimes I look at the beautiful woman you have become and wonder how on earth I could have been a part of it all. To say I am proud of you is such an understatement.

Last fall when you toured with the Continental Singers our family learned what it would be like if you weren’t home. It was horrible. We were all walking around with holes in our heart struggling to keep our smiles as we faced the world. We all realized that we are crazy in love with you and that our lives are better because you are here.

I have been putting off this speech for weeks now. As you know I am terrible at goodbyes. Graduation is in some ways a giant goodbye. When Micah, Jonah and I were planning your little tribute they just shared with you Micah said, “Wait. I don’t understand. Samantha is graduating from school she isn’t graduating from this family”. She was right, but as a Mom I know that tonight is the end of many, many wonderful years of us all together everyday. You have a gentle, natural quality about you that brings out the best in your siblings and bonds us all together. I will miss that very much. We will all miss you very much.

Tonight may mark the end of high school for you, but I am so excited about what God has planned for you my dear soccer loving, tap dancing, singing ballerina. Your father and I gave you the middle name of Hope so that you would always have something to cling to even when times are hard. I want you to always remember that and this Bible verse as you start on your new journey away from Guilford Academy into your very bright future. Because you love the French language as much as I do I will leave you this beautiful reminder of God’s love, en francaise.

Jeremie 29:11

“Car je connais les projets que j’ai forme sur vous, dit l’Eternal, projets de paix et non de malheur, a fin de vous donner un avenir et de l’ esperance.

Disney Destinations--Africa

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:53:00 -0500

Animal Kingdom has become my least favorite park at WDW only because when we have visited in the past it has been beastly (pardon the pun) hot! There is nothing worse than standing in the Florida sun staring down equally hot animals who I bet if were asked their opinion would rather be at the beach too. This year our visit was in January and it couldn't have been better timed for Animal Kingdom Park. I would like to say that I was wowed by the animals and enraptured by their natural beauty, but because I have a 7 and 4 year old I spent most of the day, not in Africa, but at Camp Minnie Mickey gathering highly valued autographs while my husband hung out with the older kids riding Mt. Everest and other wild rides. We did manage to sneak in a family trip on the African Safari jeep adventure and we weren't disappointed. The crowds were barely existent so we flew through the line at record speed. Boarding the jeep we were greeted by the driver who explained each animal as they came into view. We hit an unexpected "speed bump" about half way through when a rhino decided it was going to challenge the jeep in front of us causing all touring parties to wait for animal control to divert the rhinos. It was a great reminder that the animals are truly wild and will do what they want--- Disney ride or not. We also got to see an ostrich having "words" with an animal control jeep challenging them to move out of her way or else! I loved every minute of the unexpected incidents imagining what a real African Safari would be like. Ironically, it was the Safari ride where I left my newly purchased from the eye doctor (expensive!) sun glasses on the seat. My 11 year old had been sitting beside me and when we got off the ride told me as I frantically looked for the glasses, "Oh! I saw those on the seat, but I thought that's where you wanted to put them." Oh my!!! So.....not having money to replace the sunglasses I squint at the northeast Ohio sun and think of Africa. Well, at least Disney's version which is okay by me.

Disney Destinations!!!

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:44:00 -0500

Spring is beginning to creep into northeast Ohio and I am feeling the need to clean, re-decorate and even freshen up my blog. I checked and it has been since JANUARY since I have had anything interesting to say. That is just ridiculous. LOL

Actually, I have been very busy fulfilling my duties for TOS Review Crew testing and writing about loads of wonderful curriculum for the homeschool. Check out my other blog here.

Being a part of the TOS Review Crew has been an amazing, God-directed experience this year. I have met so many wonderful people, been privy to so many wonderful new homeschool curricula and had a hoot writing all about it on my blog. TOS Crew is comprised of some seasoned bloggers who have taught me a great deal. Most recently, April E taught us about the fun of "memes". I discovered that my mentor, Heidi Strawser has a meme called Destination Disney and was too excited to jump on board and participate. You can find Heidi's blog at http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/ReviewsbyHeidi/

So...to honor Thursday as Disney Day you are all getting my first contribution to that. Enjoy!

Sunset Blvd.: Hollywood Studios

My family and I have been going to Disney World for 15 years. We try to take a family trip about every three years depending on impending births, etc. We just celebrated our 6th trip and for the first time traveled in January. Lucky for us most of the Christmas decorations were still up, but most of the crowds had left. We traveled from January 1-8th; an ideal time for weather, crowd and price issues, by the way.

Having never experienced the splendor of Disney Christmas I felt like a kid visiting for the first time as I looked at all the decor which in true Disney style was truly amazing. My favorite, favorite, favorite thing of the whole trip took place in Hollywood Studios, however, on New York Street. I know this was supposed to be about Sunset Blvd, but you will understand why I have to write about New York Street in just a minute.

We had just finished dinner at The Sci Fi Dine-In Theater restaurant which is an experience in itself. There seemed to be a huge crowd walking towards "The Osborne Family Light Show" which was around the corner and down the street (New York St.) We decided a small walk after dinner would be a great way to end the day and followed the crowd to check it out.

Oh my! "Light Show" was such an understatement. The entire street was wrapped in Christmas lights! I read a sign that said 5,000,000 lights had been used and I think that might have been a conservative estimate. If the color weren't enough some of the lights blinked on and off in time to Christmas songs which were being broadcast from a magical location. I literally stood in the midst of a giant crowd in the middle of the street with my mouth hanging open, speechless and enraptured. It must be what heaven will be like.....beautiful beyond imagination!

Frozen by the beauty, captivated by the music and celebration, I certainly wasn't expecting more, but oh yes! there is always more at Disney! Standing in 70 degree weather with my family, enjoying the beautiful splendor it began to "snow". I am from bitter cold northeast Ohio and snow in January is not beautiful beyond measure here, but to be warm, and feasting on a visual and auditory Christmas treat only to have it snow was perfection. I felt like I was playing a part in a beautifully scripted Christmas movie about a Mom who's Christmas wish came true. Surrounded by her dear family, some of whom I had been separated from all Fall, captivated by Disney magic.....well, it is a moment that I thanked God for immediately and I will never forget.

Below is photo which doesn't do justice to being in the midst of the lights. I hope the story inspires you however, to go ahead and splurge on a family vacation to Disney. It is worth the investment.

My first award!

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:12:00 -0600

Many thanks to Sheri, my fellow blogging buddy and TOS Review Crew member. She gave me my first blog award. I am all "verklempt". :-)

Above is a picture of my award. I love it! Now, if I can figure out how to add it to my sidebar I might have to receive the techie award. LOL

Have a blessed day!

The Best Christmas Present Ever!

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 19:28:00 -0600

This year we gave the gift of time to each other. This year instead of the normal shopping frenzy, mad present wrapping kind of Christmas my family decided to give each other the gift of time. It was a FANTASTIC idea as we combined our Christmas gifts and plans for "summer" vacation and headed to Disney World on New Year's Day.

The weather was amazing.... 75-80 degrees fahrenheit every day. It was as if God had ordered it up special for us; the sun-starved northeast Ohioans. Roses were blooming, the sun was shining and entertainment abounded for 7 wonderful days. We ate gourmet meals in Epcot, rode Dumbo in the Magic Kingdom, watched stunt cars at Hollywood Studios, and marveled at the beauty of God's creation at Animal Kingdom. The older kids were thrilled with roller coasters and the younger ones with life sized characters come to life. It was the perfect vacation.

Disney works really hard to help everyone have a "vacation of a lifetime", but it wasn't the Disney magic which made this vacation perfect for me. It wasn't an incredible stage show or even the amazing food and culture of World Showcase at Epcot that caused me to want to photograph every detail of every day. It wasn't even watching my 7 year old being asked by Prince Charming to dance at Cinderella's ball or the incredible, amazing, out of this world Christmas light display at Hollywood Studios which synchronized its lighting to Christmas music. Really, it wasn't.

The magic was found in the time spent with each one of my wonderful children and husband. As I watched the wonder of the seven and four year old I was reminded of the swiftness of time as their faces reflected the memory of my 19 and 17 year old as young ones. Standing next to my grown and nearly grown children I was reminded of the gift of family and how my life has been so rich and full because of these people. Their presence reminds me of God's plan for my life and how much greater it is than any I could ever have imagined. The magic was the capturing of the moments in photographs, memories, laughter.

I am now convinced that holidays are best spent in simple, yet wonderful ways. Our famiy is unanimous in agreement that the best Christmas gift to give is time for each other. By stripping our holiday of fancy wrapping and gifts we can focus on who God is and the majesty of His gift of relationships. Is that not, what Christmas is a reminder of anyway? It was just over 2,000 years ago that God provided us with a physical Savior in Jesus Christ so that we might be able to have a relationship with Him and spend an eternal amount of time enjoying it.

Thank you, dear God, for the holiday which reminds us to stop, ponder and treasure all of these things in our heart.

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart"--Luke 2:19

Life Should Be a Musical!

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 21:52:00 -0500

I just got back from the movies with my kids. I took them to see the opening night of "High School Musical 3". My seven year old had been in countdown mode all week giving me daily updates to the big event. I was dreading it really. "Not another Disney movie", I thought. "It will just be a bunch of smart mouthed kids in an unrealistic setting". Boy was I wrong!

I laughed and laughed. I cheered the team. I wanted to break out into full fledged clapping, but caught myself with a reminder that I was in the movie theater and not watching a live performance. The movie sucked me in from the beginning in a magical way that only Disney can. I wanted to sing. I wanted to dance. I wanted to be in high school again. The magic was infectious and so much fun that even my four year old son was soon "chair dancing" with his stuffed dinosaur. From 4-44 we were all held in an amazed wonder of entertainment artfully crafted to do just that. It was perfect timing.

I just had a very stressful week. Friendships I had trusted in and well intentioned actions were unraveled during this week of my life. A simple event blew up and turned into World War 3 and I still can't figure out why. I found myself wondering, "What is the point? Why do I even try? Why does life have to be so serious and hard?"

Sitting in the theater I realized that life shouldn't be so serious. It would be good for all of us to add a little song to our heart. Conflict should bring about dance and music to let off steam, not harsh words and hatred. Life should be a musical! Think of it! You are irritated by someone's perceived lack of sensitivity, you approach them to "tell them off", but the words come out as music and the two of you start to spin and twirl in dance combat. Before long a smile has crept across everyone's face as they realize they will live happily ever after. The plot of every good musical ends "happily ever after" If only.....

My family has been compared to the VonTrapp family by well meaning teasers mainly because of our love of song and dance and the fact that there are quite a few of us. This particular person saw some of us at a production of "The Sound of Music" and ever since has greeted us with "It's the VonSpoerndles!" Tonight as I sit soaking in the afterglow of a sweet, positive, adorable family musical I can think of no greater compliment. I hope my family will always be able to find their song and dance and never take life so seriously that the music fades.

A tribute to 4's

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 21:35:00 -0500

My youngest son, the baby of the family is 4. He is at that adorable age of wonder, optimism, curiosity and whitty commentary. Even though he seems to always time his potty breaks the minute we need to start eating dinner, decides to "decorate" my personal journal with unrestrained artistic enthusiam and sneaks snacks up to my bedroom where he covertly watches Disney channel during school hours, there is a charm about him which makes me smile and treasure even the bad moments. Perhaps it is old age, perhaps it is my eldest children's old age or perhaps I am finally learning to relax in my parenting just a bit, but I found myself relishing in the joy and comedy of the age of four the other day.

I was sitting at the computer trying to catch up on emails and free-lance writing jobs when Aidan walked into the room. Disregarding my seemingly busy workload he instantly started chatting with me. My instant reaction was annoyance thinking, "When can I ever get anything done". My second thought was, "Pay attention Mom, because some day you will miss this little boy". The second thought won out as I let Aidan interrupt my thoughts and work to show me how I too could become an expert Kids Knex builder in just three easy lessons. I pretended to fumble with the instructions and he patiently guided me through the process. His tiny fingers holding mine and gently moving the pieces into place. "Good job Mommy!" he announced as I "conquered" my first creation. He loved being my teacher and was so proud of his student.

I looked in his eyes and tried to memorize that twinkle, the curve of his face and adorable smile. I had had a particularly difficult week and this little bundle of energy was offering up a bounty of sincere, loving encouragement. My life suddenly didn't seem so overwhelming or difficult. I was reminded that I have a four year old, who loved me and thinks I "hung the moon" several times over. This little interruption to my busy evening had slowed my thoughts enough to look around and count myself blessed, not stressed.

Since I also have three teenagers I am trying to soak up the 4 year old spirit to carry me through. Unfortunately, as the mother of teens I am reminded on a daily basis that the rose colored glasses are off. Somewhere between age 9 and 10 their glasses were lost and I became hugely flawed. Now there are days I fear I can do nothing right no matter what my motives. I know it is not a true interpretation of my mothering skills, but I do occasionally miss the dedicated wonder of a 4 year old which I used to enjoy from all when they were young.

I often wonder at what God was thinking when He chose to bless me with six kids. When I struggle keeping up with the adjustment of setting my college aged daughter free while discussing the inappropriateness of potty talk with my four year old, I really wonder. But, it is times of reflection like these that I realize I am really the lucky one. I get to watch both ends of the childhood spectrum at once. I stand in awe many times at how quickly time passes and sigh deeply. Today, however, I am thankful for my four year old, because he slows it down just a bit for me everyday.