Homeschooling with Grace - Homeschool Blogger

Wow! I'm Shocked!

Tue, 2 Sep 2008 03:51:00 -0500

I thought to check this blog tonight and I'm shocked at how long it's been since I posted! I actually haven't been blogging as much, and Josh and I found Facebook about a month ago, so it has consumed most of our time. When I do blog, I've just done it over on my blogger.com blog . . . anyway, to make a long explanation simpler, I've been busy! Guess I'm also winning the ADHD contest, since I basically just forgot I had two blogs!

School for us is different this year. See my post over at that other place. I'll try to do a better job at keeping homeschool and faith ponderings here, and funny boy stuff there. This year, I only have my two younger boys at home. I thought this would be a nice change, that I would have more time with them, and that without their brother to terrorize them and distract them we'd get so much more done. However I've discovered that there are distractions even within their own heads! The other day I was working on reading with AJ, and he starting picking a fingernail. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it was mine! I watch his eyes when we are trying to get something done, and they are all over the room. I have to constantly remind him where the book we are reading from is located.

I told my dearest friend last Tuesday that somebody is going to need to be medicated before the year is up! I'm don't really care who--them, or me--but somebody needs to be put on meds! Anyway, it all goes back to the usual, I'm putting too much pressure on myself, especially for the day-to-day, and probably putting too much on my plate.

The great thing about sending Josh to school this year is that it has forced me into a schedule, and forced me to plan some things in advance. Having to plan for him is causing me to plan better for the other two as well. So even on days when I feel like we've gotten nothing done, we probably have done more than I think.

Anyway, I'll try to blog more later about what we are doing. Not that anyone is reading this . . .after all, I haven't posted since January!!! Then again, maybe I still have one fan out there . . . somewhere . . . maybe?

The ADHD Contest at Our House

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:59:00 -0600

So, I guess I haven't mentioned that I'm having some evaluations done for AJ. Yeah. Last year when we did end-of-the-year evaluations he was a year behind in reading, so I took him to the pediatrician's office to have him evaluated for ADHD. The Physician's Assistant who evaluated him did diagnose him with ADHD, but also detected some auditory processing problems. Basically this means that even though his ears hear things, the signal to the brain gets lost somewhere or read wrong, and his brain doesn't "hear" correctly, or that his brain doesn't store sound-related things in a way that it can pull them back out when he needs them. Although he is learning and progressing, his reading suffers some from this. The P.A. gave me a list of things to do, so I've spent the last months filling out endless paperwork, and now I am having him processed through the public school system to have a Psychoeducational Evaluation done. Today I had an interview with a social worker to put together a social history (basically what has life been like for him growing up, and what is he like).

It has been hard to make these decisions. I cannot afford to go the route of having all private processing done. He is progressing, but I don't want to ignore probelms until they are more severe. In all our homeschooling "training" we are told to "avoid the state" so as not to give them a foothold or precedent in our homeschool program. I called HSLDA, and talked to friends. Finally I decided two things. First, here in our county I have no reason to be fearful of the school board. It has been very friendly and supportive to homeschooling, and I decided that being super-cautious was a bridge I didn't need to cross until I saw evidence that it was needed. Second, because the boys' dad is opposed to me homeschooling, I decided that it might be worth it to have an interview with a social worker "on the books" in case he ever tried to make some outrageous claims of abuse or neglect. Still, when I went today, I was a little nervous about putting myself and our home environment out there in front of a stranger for examination. To complicate things, we overslept (about an hour and a half), and then I couldn't find my car keys, only to finally find them safely locked in the car. What a great mom I am.

True to form, my Knight in Shining Armor (Jesus), sent help, and a friend at co-op got my message, came to pick the kids and I up, took me to my appointment, and then picked up the kids and me. Cool. The interview? It went great. I felt very comfortable with the social worker, made myself share very openly, didn't bad-mouth their dad (not something I do anyway), but was honest about where there are problems on both his part and mine. By causing me to work through all of this history and experience wtih the social worker, my Knight in Shining Armor showed me something else. I'm a good mom. I am. I'm NOT perfect, and yes, I'm making plenty of mistakes. I worry that I'm too ADHD to help my boys who are also ADHD. I worry that I'm "depriving" them of help and experiences that would benefit them. I worry that I'm just not good enough at what I'm doing, but the boys are doing well and I'm doing a good job. Plenty of people tell me this, but I often find myself wondering if their love of me has clouded their view, or if they are just biased. But today I had a stranger who sees all extremes of parenting tell me several times that I'm doing great things with them. And she wasn't even counting the spiritual things which my Knight has called me to do! Anyway, it's not that I should need that kind of affirmation, but sometimes I do, and today it was very encouraging.

Best of all, she said that it sounds like AJ is only mildly affected by whatever struggles he has, and she affirmed some of the decisions I have made as being right on target, so I'm feeling good about it all. Oh, and I did get my keys our of the car minutes ago. It definitely pays to have good insurance!

2008: The Resolution to Have More Resolve!

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 14:59:00 -0600

I don't pressure myself to necessarily participate in many aspects of most holidays. At Christmas, for example, I ask the boys what traditions mean most to them--what they would like to do to celebrate. If we get other things done, fine. If not, fine too. I'm slowly adapting to the limitations of my circumstances, and to my laid-back nature, and it's OK if I don't have photographs of every holiday on the books because we actually didn't do much for some of them.

But New Years . . . that's different. I recently stated my view to a friend, that New Year's Resolutions are not a waste of time making promises to yourself that you don't intend to keep. Instead, new years are fresh starts. They are reminders to me that God lets us have regular do-overs . . . or at least try-agains.

Tonight I got the following e-mail from a friend:

I didn't plan to write to you about "New Year's Resolutions."

In fact, I've sometimes disparaged them, preferring the term "goals"--partly because they're not linked to the calendar, but partly, I'm afraid, because they seem less intimidating.

Resolutions require--well, you know--resolve!

I've just read a blog post on the topic of resolutions--and especially resolve--by a dear friend, Lynn Bruce, who had a double mastectomy last fall. What a perspective!

Not only is she a cancer survivor, but she's also one of the most intelligent and literary women I've ever known. (She's one of the founders of the wonderful free online Charlotte-Mason-based curriculum Ambleside Online.)

Please take a few moments now to read Lynn's compelling and convicting blog post about resolutions and resolve. Don't set it aside to read "later."

I went and read the blog post and found there a very eloquent and convincing case for the importance of not only making New Year's Resolutions, but of resolving to keep them. So I encourage you to go NOW and read this wonderful entry. Then do what I plan on doing this weekend--spend some lengthy, quality time alone with God, asking Him what His plans are for you this year. Make those resolutions that He gives you, and plot out how you will keep them!

Let's not waste our fresh starts on piddly, silly things. Let's go for the Kingdom!

The Perfect Christmas Gift

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:15:00 -0600

My kids came home from a weekend at their dad's yesterday . . . yet another reminder of what a failure I feel like. They had presents with them--all surprises--which made it more fun. I'm all about surprises. But two of my three kids are all about figuring out my surprises and know me just a little too well, so they found the key to my locking closet and have already checked out many of their presents.

They came home with individually packed bags of goodies. Their dad's girlfriend baked! She works full-time and she baked! I haven't even started my baking. I plan to . . . but it's almost lunch time on the day before Christmas. Yeah. That'll happen.

My house is a mess still. My "to do" list is daily getting longer because of the things I keep moving to the next day. I have five hours until church service and about twelve hours of stuff to do. And oh yeah . . . . Do I plan on going in my pajamas?

I walk around feeling like a failure. One day a year that I really want to be special, and I can't even pull that off. To make matters worse, the plans I had for the kids and I to really focus on Jesus--to spend time in the scriptures, to quietly reflect on His advent (me, not the kids. They don't do anything quietly.), to celebrate HIM even if nothing else got done . . . . I even failed at that. I don't even have that to hold on to. BUT . . .

Yesterday God gave me one of His presents. I've asked Him to give me just one new insight into the Christmas story each year, and I got it yesterday. My dear pastor taught from Isaiah 42:1-4, and I was reminded that Jesus came to satisfy the Law. I was under the law. God expected perfection from me, or I would receive death. Again and again I failed. I couldn't even be perfect for one day. But He loved me. So God, who was over the Law, placed Himself under the Law and kept it. Then, even though He was innocent of transgressing it, even though HE had been perfect . . . He was judged, sentenced, and put to death by the Law, paying the price even though He had no debt. That was His gift to me. Not just payment for my failure, but His perfection. God, who made the rules . . . who could change them at His will . . . who didn't need to prove that He never breaks the rules . . . He came anyway, and lived under them. I sure wouldn't have done that.

From time to time I've asked myself if God is truly humble. Why should He be, He's God? There is nothing for Him to be humble about. Yet in this gift, I realized that God did show humility. He did it by playing by His own rules. He did it by coming in the person of Jesus . . . by confining Himself for a short time to human form and subjecting Himself, the Creator and Ruler of everything, to His own rules.

And He did it for me. If I live another 40 years, I'll never understand why I didn't get the better end of the gift. 'Cause from appearances sake, he still got failure. But now when He looks at me He sees Jesus . . .and He delights in both of us. Cool.

Family Snapshots

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 04:31:00 -0600

God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. (Psalms 68:6)

It is very late, and at the moment I can hear several voices downstairs “telling stories.” There are little bodies snuggled down in sleeping bags and warm blankets in my living room, and another little girl sleeping up here with me, dreaming of the day when she will have stairs in her house. Although my sister lives way up north (in Yankee territory, poor thing!), and our other family lives not quite so far away in Georgia, I only feel sometimes that we don’t have family here. The truth is God has done for me exactly as He promised, and has set me in a family—a family that is sometimes more faithful than I could imagine flesh and blood family being.

His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure. (Eph 1:5)

Tonight we invited my closest friend and her kids over to watch a movie, since her husband was out of town. We had dinner and enjoyed time just being together. When the movie was over, it was still early (anything before midnight is early for us!), so I invited them to stay longer, but my friend was tired. Her kids, however were eager to stay, so I invited them to stay the night. As is typical, I believe it was Providence—that God knew she needed the down time tonight, and not having to get six kids home and in bed. But that wasn’t why I invited them. I did it ‘cause I just love to be with them. They’re so like my own kids in many ways—except for I didn’t give birth to them . . . or have to stay up all night nursing them when all six were sick . . . or figure out how to train and educate and feed and clothe all six of them . . . but in all the other ways, they’re like mine! They are fun, and amazing kids. I love being around them, and they like being with us.

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. (1 John 4:15-16)

I was reminded last weekend that the “if” in this verse means something different than “if you choose.” If we belong to Christ, if we are God’s dearly loved children, if we have the God of love in us, we WILL love His family. We won’t be able to help it. If is conditional only in the sense that the love is evidence of the relationship that already exists between us and Christ. If our bond to Christ is strong, our love for His family will be strong. It can’t be anything else. How many times have you heard “blood is thicker than water”? Well, Christ’s blood is thicker than anything else, and it binds those covered in it in ways they never knew.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)

There are times when it is hard to love our brothers and sisters. They don’t act very loveable. I think that’s why Christ commanded this. Just like my boys (who really do love each other) fight like mad dogs trying to prove who is dominant, so too Christians fight sometimes. But when we truly love Jesus, we will quickly grow tired of our disunity, and seek to love each other. ‘Cause that’s what family does.

It’s quiet downstairs now. Four kids lay in the same room sleeping—cousins, not from birth, but from second-birth. All night tonight they have set aside the differences of having different moms and dads, of being boys or girls, of having last names, and they’ve acted like family, sharing the Playstation and getting each other snacks. They love each other, I hope because their moms love each other. My prayer tonight is that all of these kids will have an appetite for spiritual family and for loving Christ’s family as they grow. I pray it will be as natural for them as adults as it is to breathe. ‘Cause that’s what family does. And we’re going to have to do it for an awfully long time . . . .

Oh, How We Hate School!

Wed, 7 Nov 2007 23:04:00 -0600

Yep. That's the mantra at my house. Even the little guy learned early on (from his brothers) to declare his contempt for school. Of course, when . . .

. . . I asked my thirteen-year-old if I was overloading him with too much work or if he was just working at it slowly, enjoying being able to work at his own pace (a snail's!), he responded that it really was the latter.
. . . I almost forgot to "do reading" with my youngest, he reminded me.
. . . we begin listening to any book on tape (usually to protests of how boring it will be), within minutes they are pleading with me to keep playing it.
. . . after listening to part of Cheaper By the Dozen tonight, my middle son insisted I immediately get out the Power Glide Latin curriculum we used a couple of years ago so he could do it on his own.
. . . the highlight of our week is the trip to the library and the most anticipated regular event of the month is the monthly trip to the BIG library.
. . . our pretending is fueled by the period movies and documentaries that we are watching and reading about at that time. (OK, admittedly, superheroes often work their way into the dress code too; but we wear superhero costumes while we are doing school work.)
. . . the kids tell me what they want to do next year for school.

It's just too bad that they hate school so much. Think how much they would hate it if they weren't actually learning something!

The World Travelers

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:05:00 -0500

For the last month or so, we have been travelling the world. What? You didn't realize my blog entries were remote? Now before you get too excited Crystal, we are actually travelling the world from home. So far we've explored the wild jungles of Madagascar, and the recovering diversity of South Africa. The boys are so cute! (I'm doing this with Stephen and AJ.)

Today we entered Kenya. I'm getting better at it, knowing more and more the order and way I want to do things. Today we traced on the world map where we had been, then "departed" from South Africa to head north to Kenya. The boys strapped themselves into a taxi bus, and bounced along in the heat and crowded conditions. Stephen had to hold a chicken on his lap for a while. Once we arrived in the mountainous region of Kenya, the boys had to present their passports for inspection.

Before we started I made them each a rather realistic looking passport, complete with their personal info, pages printed with a quarter grid for visa stamps, and I even used clear wide labels to create a unique passport stamp for each country we visit. As they entered, I asked them about South Africa, and stamped their passport. We look at the world map and color in the country we visit on a world and continent map, then we mark major landmarks, color the flag, listen to the national anthem, and read a brief summary of the country. Over the next week, we'll explore the wildlife, read about indiginous peoples, try traditional food, play traditional games, listen to music, and add national celebrations to our world calendar. We'll read folk stories and about missionaries, climate, resources, history and heroes. I've even found a wealth of DVD's through online rentals and the library. Hard to believe I can cover so much in a week! (Not that I really do all I want, I'm just reminding myself to let them have fun with it, and learn a little something in spite of it.)

The boys' favorite part is entering into a new country and getting their passport stamped. Mom's favorite part is how wildly in love with the world she is falling. My home page is the Operation World page of the day, and it is becoming more and more fascinating as I become more familiar with the countries. Josh is also doing geography through Florida Virtual Schools, but I'm sure he's not having near the fun we are. Too bad.

I'm off again, this time to bed. Travelling is hard work, and I'm feeling a little jet-lag!

Sticking Clean Hands Into Filthy Diseased Flesh

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 02:19:00 -0500

The boys and I started listening to the third Luke Reports today, and while I was listening I got this picture of Jesus raising the dead and healing the sick. I realized how scandalous that was in His day--to touch someone unclean (because of illness) or dead (very unclean!), caused the person who touched them to also become unclean. This restricted them from worship, and in many ways from society, since no one else wanted to "catch" the uncleanness. Seems like a silly rule for us. How legalistic!

I am coming to understand and believe more and more that every aspect of our physical lives here on earth is a breathable, livable, touchable picture of spiritual realities. We humans need board books in spiritual matters, better yet the touchy-feely board books, and our loving Father who understands that gave us just what we needed. Unfortunately, we often look at the board books and think they accurately picture real life. We look at the picture--mere fantasy drawings of the real thing--and assume they accurately represent the spiritual realm (if we think about the spiritual realm beyond the fantasy at all).

Much of the covenant with Israel, including their religious laws, festivals, and their very history is a huge part of this picture that God was drawing for us. For a devout Israelite, to exchange being clean for uncleanness was tragic! To become unclean because of disease . . . catastrophic! As I listened to the story today, I imagined God, the essence of purity, holiness, and cleanness . . . reaching out and touching the worst of filth. Death. Disease. Prostitution. Treason. Jesus associated with these kind of people. God associated with these kind of people. Imagine kissing a corpse. I've lost both my mom and my dad, as well as many other relatives and friends, and I couldn't even bring myself to touch them, much less kiss them! Imagine hugging on an AIDS patient (yes, I know, it isn't passed that way!), or someone with Hepatitis, or some other VERY contagious disease. Imaging hanging out with a Main Street hooker. Imagine going out of your way to befriend a traitor to your country who wasn't even sorry about the danger or difficulty he imposed on your family by doing so. Isn't this what Jesus did? And all the while He claimed to be God!

Yet . . . as I really stop to think about it . . . even this is just a picture. You see, I was dead. I was so diseased, if anyone had known how bad I was, they wouldn't have wanted me near them. I was the prostitute; I was the traitor. And God Himself reached down from Heaven and touched my uncleanness. No one else would even look at me. I was the beggar on the side of the road, and no one had the time to look at me. Truth is, I didn't even want to look at myself. But God had never taken His eyes off me. He stopped all of Heaven and reached out and touched me. The epitome of spiritual purity touched the dirtiest sinner--me. He gave me life, healed me completely, and accepted me as His bride. How do I wrap my brain around that?

I wonder what the dead guy did after Jesus restored him to life . . . or what became of the one who was healed. Did he live life differently, or was it back to life as normal? Did he have a heart for others in need? What did he think of this Jesus who had touched him? What am I to do with this? How can I live for myself? How can I think there is anyone who is unworthy of my time, assistance, love, help?

What do I do with Jesus?

Intrigue in South Africa

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 02:19:00 -0500

For the last couple weeks we've been exploring South Africa. We have eaten South African food, played games, researched animals, located major landmarks on our maps, watched biographies and movies about Steven Biko ("Cry Freedom"--a really good film!) and Nelson Mandela, gone on safari, and lots more!

Some things we didn't know about South Africa:

The newly united country of South Africa appears to be very different than it was 15 years ago. After the end of apartheid, and the election of Nelson Mandela to the presidency, the country has come a long way. I'm astonished at how quickly it changed, and that the genocide of Rwanda was not repeated. I have questions yet unanswered about how the government is going about preventing retaliation for years of abuse and oppression.
South Africa has FIVE official languages.
The South African national anthem is generally sung in five different languages, and it has two different melodies that are merged together. About ten years ago, the traditional anthem was joined with the popular anthem to create one song, a symbol of a country that was becoming united into one. You can here it here.
South Africa is the primary exporter of gold and diamonds in the world . . . as in more than half come from South Africa!

I have been totally captivated by this country! Maybe the kids eyes are starting to glaze over as I get yet another documentary or biography on it, but I'm still full of questions! Nevertheless, tomorrow we're off to Kenya!

(Photo above is of our South African meal: Boboti, Mealie Bread, and Sweet Potato Fritters. You can see more photos of our explorations at our Flickr site.)

Ahem . . . We're back.

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 02:05:00 -0500

Gosh! It's been so long since I posted here I had to stop and think about my login name and password. I can't believe that I haven't posted anything in over two months! And we're even really doing school! (OK, maybe that's why I haven't posted.)

OK, so here's a list of what we've been up to:

Started school two weeks late. Couldn't help it. I wasn't ready, then we had kids with us, then, well, we just started late. But we're chugging along now.
AJ has "officially" been diagnosed ADHD. Wow. Big surprise. Anyone who spends two hours with him could figure that out. Besides, it's more or less a useless diagnosis, since in reading I've discovered about a billion things can cause the symptoms we call ADHD.
BUT . . . the P.A. at our doctor's office who screens for learning disabilities also detected "processing problems." Kind of overwhelming to me (the domino effect of all the evaluations and treatments he needs now), but I think in the long run it will be helpful to have found this out so early. It's also been AMAZING to watch God working on our behalf, bringing in the "experts" we need and reminding me that He will provide what we need.
Josh will be halfway done with his year of Geography through Florida Virtual School this week. Not sure what I'm going to do to keep him busy after that. I've signed him up for reading, but I want to take a look at the course first.
I added literature studies to his work load. At least Mom is enjoying The Witch of Blackbird Pond.
We're travelling the world. So far Stephen, AJ, and I have seen Madagascar and South Africa (which I have fallen in love with), and tomorrow we depart for Kenya. More on that in my next post.
As of today we've changed spelling programs. What worked last year just wasn't cutting it this year. The two younger boys will be doing Sequential Spelling by AKVO (or is it AVKO?). Finally! The spelling program I've been looking around for!

I feel like I'm drowning already. I can't keep up with planning and records, hate the pace of life (and I keep it pretty simple!), can't stay on top of my house . . . can I please just go back to bed? Of course the straight week of Florida rain didn't help me much last week. It gets pretty buggy in a house full of boys when they don't have access to the outdoors!

God keeps wooing me, calling me to come sit by Him and let Him lighten my load. I just keep forging ahead, trying to make things work my way. When will I learn?