http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/controlfreaksanon/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:32:00 -0600 Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:32:00 -0600 People have started to notice my weight loss these last few months, and I should hope so!  Five years and two babies later, there is 100 pounds and 65 inches less of me than there used to be – and yet there is so much more of me that has grown over that same amount of time. So often people ask me how I have done it.  I usually tell them that I just finally did all the things I’ve known for so long that I needed to do.  The difference is that God now has me in a place of humble obedience, and not just in this area of my life.  It is possible to go through the motions of obedience for a time without any aspect of humility being present.  But it is not really obedience if it is done begrudgingly.  I am such a rebellious eater and a control freak.  Even in past periods of doing well, there was no humility in it.  My job is obedience.  To learn to say the simple prayer of “Yes, Sir,” and practice it over and over.  Not begrudgingly.  But with full confidence and gratitude, trusting and loving the One gently guiding.  One of the amazing aspects of the victory God is giving me is how little it has to do with food.  The changes that are happening physically are just a two-dimensional picture of the deeper transformation in me.  God is so graciously, patently, removing the layers I hid behind, paralyzed by fear and inability, and He is revealing . . . not more of the real me to the world, but more of Him to me. As He peels back the layers and I see Him more clearly, He lets His radiance bounce back out from me – true beauty that is far deeper than magazine covers and fashion runways.  I am overwhelmed!  The less of me there is to get in the way, the more of Him and of the me He created me to be there is shining through.  So although there is still a good bit of weight to loose, I am looking forward to all that I will continue to gain as God continues His patient work in my life.  “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”  Psalm 34:5 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/controlfreaksanon/478784/ Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:32:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/controlfreaksanon/478784/ Ta-da!  I am officially past the half-way point between my highest weight and my goal!  I still have a long way to go, but I am trusting that the down-hill side of the mountain will not take as long as the up-hill side did.  Not that I would trade it for anything.   As I try to put to paper all that I have learned, all the lessons from the journey so far, I am absolutely overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of them – not many that are super profound, and even fewer that have anything to do with the literal physical aspects of weight loss.  My lessons that have motivated me, that have kept me on the path or brought me back when I have wandered from it, have been spiritual.  Truths learned, patiently taught, from the one who is the Truth.    I have known for a long time that the secret to successful weight loss was not finding the right eating plan as much as finding myself in a place of humility and loving obedience before God my Creator and Father.  God made me with this desire to be filled, and when I come to Him daily he satisfies me like no amount of simple carbs can!  When I relinquish control and humble myself before God, he lifts me up and takes my hand to lead me along the path, in step together.  Who would have thought that the way I felt about myself, the way I approached my weight for so long, was a form of pride?  It didn’t feel like pride – it felt like depression and embarrassment and a dozen other things.  But as I’ve learned more and more, one day at a time with Him, I’ve learned that any attitude that is centered on me instead of centered on God is a form of pride.  Even focusing on my inability.  So now my focus is knowing that I can’t but that God can; learning to say “Yes, Sir” the first time instead of being an obstinate brat with him; being overwhelmed by Him instead of my circumstances or inability; claiming his faithful mercies every morning instead of being so hard on myself.   “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”  Psalm 103:2-5 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/controlfreaksanon/478781/ Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:28:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/controlfreaksanon/478781/