Joyfully Living Life by the Grace of God - Homeschool Blogger

Fits me to a T

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:47:00 -0600

I'm listening to a jazz CD right now, and on the inside cover, I love the quote.

"There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Just because you're alone doesn't mean you're lonely...Last year I asked him what he'd do if he won the lottery...'I'd build a moat around my house and fill it with alligators.'"

That is so me.

You know how some days...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:10:00 -0600

...you just feel a little irate? I love this list. We've all felt this way at one time or another.

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

By Deborah Markus, from Secular Homeschooling, Issue #1, Fall 2007

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

Forgiveness

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 19:10:00 -0600

I have a spunky little four-year-old girl...and spunky is putting it lightly. She marches to the beat of her own drum, rather careless, and usually in a heap of trouble, incredibly lazy, and quite disobedient. And I love her to pieces. We're working on the obedience thing, but it just slips out of her mind what I've told her so fast. I don't think it's purposeful. I need to come at this from a different angle with her than how I work with the other children. She has such a joyful smile, and unfortunately has daddy wrapped around her little finger.

I've been having a tough time with her this week, constantly reminding her, disciplining her, and hugging her.

Tonight is one of those moments that made it worth all the effort I've put into her this week. We've just gotten back from the grocery store where she wasn't behaving as well as she should, not a little terror, but goofing around too much and not listening. I'm sitting here working at the computer, and she comes up to me, and before she said anything, I gave her a great big hug and told her I just loved her so, so much, which I know I don't do often enough. Before I realize it, I've been correcting and disciplining all day and not enough loving.

Anyway, after I gave her a long hug, she spontaneously said to me, "Momma, I'm sorry I didn't behave well at the grocery store today."

SHOCK! Tears of gratitude came to my eyes, and I told her I will always forgive her when she asks me to. She has never done anything like that before. She will do anything to avoid saying she's sorry.

The minutes and days often seem long, but the years fly by. Which is strange, if the days are so long, how come I don't get anything accomplished? No, I mean day to day a difference in children is not always noticeable, but the months and years go by, and the effort we spend raising our children comes to light. And we are rewarded with fruit if we have been diligent in their upbringing.

Elections again...a wasted vote?

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 11:50:00 -0500

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost." -- John Quincy Adams

Too much

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:33:00 -0500

Somebody, help me! I think I've had too much caffeine in the last few hours. Three large cups of coffee and almost two 24 oz bottles of Dr. Pepper. My fault. It is 12:34 a.m. (I'll tell you that story another time) and I am sitting at my desk almost sobbing. I am ultra emtional, and for what? It's not hormone time.

I've just been thinking about my life. I used to belong to an organization called International Order of the Rainbow for Girls. It's under the Masonic umbrella. Now, don't freak out if you think the Masons are a bunch of cult members. Please. It's a perfectly acceptable organization for young ladies between 12-20, I am a Christian, and looking back, I see nothing offensive.

To the point, I was looking online at the organization wondering where I could fill in some alumni information, and there were pictures from my Grand year there! I used to be young. And about 80 pounds lighter. I had no responsibilities to speak of. It reminds me of a time that I will never have again. I just can't describe to you the emotion I am feeling on this. I am not regretting becoming a mother and wife (opposite order first ;o)) , just what I'm currently doing with the situation I'm in.

Who am I? What am I doing daily? Am I making an impact on my children and positively influencing them? Am I a help-meet to my husband and concerned with his needs?

I'm at a loss right now to find many things positive. I'm not unhappy, no. I am blessed. But I feel after examining myself, I am squandering God's gifts to me.

Reminds me of a song on the "Prince Caspian" soundtrack, "This is Home." Here's the first part of the lyrics.

I've got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I've never known

Boy, you really can't go back to how it was. It's fruitless to think of too much nostalgic ideals. How does that encourage me now? I need to plan and develop the present and future times in my life. We were created for a place we haven't seen yet, and dwelling on how things used to be won't take us anywhere. Even if one could get back to the way it was, one's mindset would be different. You just can't relive the past. Not that I'd even want to, some regrets I don't want to have to relive, but that means all the more I just need to really live, really live in the moment and take as much joy out of it as possible.

Anyhow, sometimes deep thoughts just don't get translated to writing properly. I am a lazy bum, and need to start making life matter.

Priceless

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:36:00 -0500

My littlest one, 20 months old, has learned to talk much sooner than her older siblings. She has somebody around her all the time, talking and playing, and she surprises me with the things that come out of her sweet baby mouth.

Always guaranteed to bring tears to my eyes, though, the first time they initiate affectionate words, and not just a repeat of what people say to them.

I'm sitting at my desk typing away and she's on my lap. I hear this insistent background noise, and then a tapping of my chest, and I tune in to my baby girl and what she's saying to me.

Out of the blue, "Mama, I ruh yooo. Mama, I ruh yooo!" She loves me! And she has been singing and humming to herself, and every once in a while I hear, "I ruh mama."

You all know the feeling, the unsolicited, first time that your child tells you they love you...nothing in the world beats it.

Enjoy the journey

Thu, 2 Oct 2008 00:38:00 -0500

So, what do you think of my homemade invitation for a tea party?

I think I must be manic/depressive. One moment I am full of plans and ideas, and the next moment dread and worry and not wanting to be social one iota.

This party is being given by my six-year-old daughter and I, and I have to make sure I include her in on the plans. She so much wants to help, and if I can be graceful enough to let certain of my ideal standards slide, it's a time she will remember with joy I hope. So tomorrow we sit down and plan the menu, and she did mention already I should have brownies. This girl is a die-hard chocolate fan. H'mm. I can't say I've ever successfully made brownies. So perhaps we should practice in the weeks leading up to our event.

As happens to others, at least I think I'm not the only one, the event should not be the main event. It's the time spent preparing and planning and sharing with our loved ones along the way that can sometimes be more enjoyable than the ending. It's so easy to busy ourselves with life and when we get to the end to have not enjoyed the journey.

So, cliche: Stop, and smell the roses. Really this time.

Please see this movie

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 23:00:00 -0500

Where everyone knows your name...

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:00:00 -0500

Isn't it enjoyable to enter a location and to be greated warmly, that your presence was missed? I was only 9 when Cheers first aired, but I remember the theme song, and through the years I sing it sometimes, just thinking how nice it is to be appreciated and loved.

It doesn't happen often in life for many people. Work can be a drudgery for some, where maybe you wish they didn't know your name, or in my case, I work in a different location every job, so I never can become acquainted with the same folks. Maybe you're at home with the kids all day long, and wish they'd stop calling your name with such frequency, "Momma," "Mommy!" "Mooommmmm."

We attend a monthly church home group meeting where we really enjoy being there, and others enjoy the contribution that we can bring.

Our homeschooled kids would appreciate that as well. I never thought much about it until tonight. It was the first night back at AWANA, and as we entered the building with hundreds of people milling about, five or six people spotted my kids and cheerfully smiled, "It's the _______ family!" The lights in my kids eyes almost made me cry. They were gone for a few months for summer, this is their second year back, but folks remembered them, and they were welcomed back to a place where everyone knew their name.

It's our privilege as home educating families to choose our children's associations, rather than have acquaintances foisted upon them. I'm glad I picked a place when my children can learn the Word of God and form friendships with like-minded children and families, and be missed when they're gone.

You're Invited

Mon, 8 Sep 2008 20:01:00 -0500

It's tea party time! If you've read my blog from almost two years ago, I had a tea party that just kind of got out of hand. I had meant to only have a nice ladies' tea, and instead 25 men, women and children came for a Christmas tea, and I was seven months' pregnant.

This time around, it's just for ladies, and a few young ladies as well. I am making scones and chicken almond tea sandwiches, and we'll have tea and some type of something else. I don't have it all planned yet, but part of the fun for me is making up the party. My daughter can't wait to attend.

T, you're invited with your daughter, although I don't suppose an eight-hour drive there and back would make the tea worthwhile to come by, but you're always welcomed.

A fall tea, maybe some kind of spiced tea would be nice. Ahhh, I can smell the pumpkin spice and cinnamon, the clink of fine china, and the laughter of good friends.