...lover of Jesus, husband, kids, music, dogs, cats, fish, and quiet time... - Homeschool Blogger

Woo Hoo!

Thu, 21 May 2009 23:51:00 -0500

Yes! Only one more day! What, you may ask, is this 46 year old grown woman getting so excited about??? Let me tell you! School is officially done tomorrow! Homeschooling that is! And yes, I am the teacher and Hallelujah! Tomorrow is the last day! I have so many plans for this summer. Swimming at my mom's pool - cleaning, organizing, writing, reading - awwwww..... sweet bliss!

It's been a good school year, but I am SO ready to be done. And unless you are a homeschooling momma, you will not understand. Yes, the kids are happy, but NO ONE is happier than the mom who can lay down her red pen, her answer key and her timer! Thank you Jesus for helping me make it through another year of crazy homeschooling!

How Do You Deal wtih "End of the Year Blues"?

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 10:30:00 -0500

I know that in our house, about this time of the year, we are sick of school. Easter break rolls around and we are ready to be done already. So, how does your family deal with the End of the Year Blues? I would be interested to learn how you maybe do things differently to keep yourself and your students on task. I think we lose out on alot of time because we slack so much during this time. And yet, it's inevitable and we just don't care anymore. I keep cracking the whip, but it's a half-hearted crack, and my kids know it. So, how do you deal with it?

Just thankful

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 20:29:00 -0600

Hubby and I have gone through some rough years lately of real fire... the purifying stuff that really proves what you are and what you are not. It's not been fun. It's been painful and at times, we've had to count to ten and press forward.

We have discussed how that when we were younger, God's will seemed so obvious. We just coasted along and He lead. We went through some trials, but God's will was so apparent that we just knew everything was going to be okay.

About ten years ago, that cruise-control ride stopped. I know that God was still in control, but where was He? People in our church were not being kind and life was getting difficult. I personally was miserable. I hated it here. I hated everything.

So, we moved. We moved two states away. We took a church. We felt that it was God's will, but we also still felt alone. To make a very long story very short, our six month stint in Chicagoland was a disaster. More disappointment, more frustration, more heartache. We left and came back to Ohio, broken and our health greatly suffering.

We felt stupid returning home. People were to sure to ask what was wrong? Why did we leave our church? We were telling ourselves what failures we were. We came back as changed people - realizing that yes, things can really be worse somewhere else... believe it or not. Some people from our church didn't want us back... they had filled in the gap in our absence and we were a threat to them. We knew it; but we had to return. It was one of the hardest things we've ever done.

My health was so poor that the doctors told me I had everything - Meniere's disease, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Adrenal Fatigue, Balance problems, Immune problems, allergies... you name it... I had it. I searched for a good doctor to help me and tried some crazy things. Some worked, some didn't.

I tried to teach at a Christian school and that didn't work. I tried to go back to college and that wasn't right either. I finally decided to just stay home and take care of my kids...homeschool them... and just be a good wife and mom.

And an amazing thing has happened - I can feel His hand again. He has allowed Himself to become clear to me again. My health is improving. Our finances are getting under control. Our children are blooming. The church is growing. We feel peace again. We feel HIM again.

Our problems are not gone, but we can see HIM working like we used to feel it. Did we get out of His will? I don't know; we didn't do anything differently. We still prayed; read our Bible; went to church; lived holy lives; sought after Him; did all we knew to do.

Job 23:8-14 was our life:

"Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him: On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not declined. Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food. But he is in one mind, and who can turn him? and what his soul desireth, even that he doeth. For he performeth the thing that is appointed for me: and many such things are with him."

My reason for sharing this is not only to share, but to let someone out there know that even though everything is dark and you can't find your way, He is there. Life is a crazy, mixed-up thing that just can't be explained away. However, I'm so thankful that He has a reason for everything that He does. And I'm just so grateful that He has protected us and watched over us as we have floundered about like a couple of ducks out of water. Great is His faithfulness!

Dealing with Impossible People

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 20:27:00 -0600

(I found this most helpful in dealing with some impossible people in my life lately... I hope it will help you too....I found this on WikiHow)

We all know impossible people. They tend to share three main characteristics: They cannot be reasoned with, they believe they can do no wrong, and they are convinced that everything is someone else's fault. If you haven't had some first-hand experience in dealing with such people, even a brief conversation can raise your blood pressure through the roof. These people may also be known to some as narcissists. Here are some insights and steps for dealing with these highly difficult people.

Steps
1. Recognize that impossible people exist; you will eventually encounter them. There isn't a thing you can do about it. The first step is all about facing reality: If you think you might be dealing with an impossible person, you're probably right. When in doubt, proceed as instructed below. The headaches you save will be your own.

2. Be aware that some people simply aren't compatible. Sometimes, a person who gets along with everybody else quite well is an impossible person for you personally. Most relationships between people contain many shades of gray, but some people simply mix as well as oil and water. It is common to hear your impossible person proclaim that "Everyone else likes me." This is an attempt to shift the blame to you, so don't buy it. It doesn't matter how this person interacts with others. The fact is, the way the two of you interact together is terrible. Remember that blame never changes the facts. To counter this, tell them that it is a logical fallacy, or specifically an *Ad hominem.

3. Understand that it's not you, it's them. This can be surprisingly difficult, considering that impossible people have complete mastery of blaming skills. If you're dealing with an impossible person, you're probably being told on a regular basis that every conceivable thing is your fault. It isn't. As the saying goes, "It takes two to tango." Chances are, the more often they blame you, the more they themselves are actually at fault. Keep in mind that this is not to be used as a way to blame them. Blaming is what impossible people do, and they do it well. Instead, you are only facing the facts, for your own sake. That being said, here's a simple way to tell: If you accept responsibility for your own faults and resolve to improve yourself, it's probably not you. Remember, impossible people can do no wrong.

4. Defuse them. Stay calm and don't spit angry words at them, what ever you do don't cry - you will be giving them what they want. Give them exactly what they don't want, ignore them, don't bad talk them because then you are sinking down to their level, but look away or start another conversation, with a totally different topic, whatever you do just stay calm!

5. Realize that you cannot deal with impossible people the same way you deal with everyone else. In some ways, they need to be treated like children. Give up all hope of engaging these folks in any kind of reasonable conversation. It will never happen, at least with you. Remember what happened the last fifty times you tried to have a civilized discussion about the status of your relationship with this person. Chances are, every such attempt ended in you being blamed for everything. Decide now to quit banging your head against a brick wall.

6. Protect your self-esteem. If you have regular dealings with someone who tries to portray you as the source of all evil, you need to take active steps to maintain a positive self-image. Remind yourself that this person's opinion is not necessarily the truth. Understand that oftentimes, impossible people are particularly "fact-challenged." If the attacks have little basis in raw fact, dismiss them. You can't possibly be as bad as this person would like you to believe you are. Do not defend yourself out loud, however. It will only provoke the impossible person into another tirade.

7. Guard against anger. If it helps, consider the fact that your anger is actually a precious gift to the impossible person. Anything you do or say while angry will be used against you over and over again. Impossible people tend to have amazing memories, and they will not hesitate to use a nearly endless laundry list of complaints from the past against you. Five years from now, you could be hearing about the angry remark you made today (which you didn't even mean in the first place). Impossible people will seize anything that provides them the opportunity to lay blame like it was gold.

8. Keep your cool. When the impossible person becomes hysterical (and they probably will, as this is a common trait among their kind), immediately "turn off" any serious consideration you had been giving them. What they are saying now should be considered gibberish. As they say, "In one ear, out the other." If at all possible, simply remain silent through the whole tirade. If that requires too much discipline on your part, make sure that anything you say tends to agree with them. Humor them. Don't ask them to calm down, because you then just invite further bombast (such as "Why should I calm down?! Look what you've done this time! You're lucky I'm not angrier than I am now!").

9. Give up self-defense. Understand very clearly that you cannot beat these kinds of people; they're called "impossible" for a reason. In their minds, you are the source of all wrongdoing, and nothing you can say is going to make them consider your side of the story. Your opinion is of no consequence, because you are already guilty, no matter what. If you tell them that you gave a million dollars to charity, they will say that you did it because you have a guilty conscience. If you tell them you discovered the cure for cancer, they will tell you that you just wanted the attention. There is no winning. Nothing you can do will be good enough. Anything positive you say about yourself will be interpreted as boorish bragging or self-justification, and you will be promptly "smacked back down to size" by a litany of negative comments and accusations. Impossible people view it as their sacred task to make sure you don't get the idea that you are worth anything, and they will act accordingly.

10. Understand that eventually, you and the impossible person will have to part ways. Whether they are a friend, a boss, a parent, even a spouse, the time to leave will eventually manifest. Maintaining a relationship with an impossible person is, literally, impossible. If you can't (or won't) make a physical departure immediately, make a mental one. In your mind, you've already left the relationship. The only thing left to do is wait for physical reality to reflect that fact.

11. Avoid letting the impossible person make you into a "clone" of them. If you aren't careful, you could find yourself adopting much of the offender's own behavior, even if you aren't voluntarily trying. Eschew blame entirely by understanding that this is just the way the other person is. It is the way nature made them by means of their environment, upbringing, experiences and choices in life. These things define the impossible person's actions, and nothing you do can change any part of their past.

12. Be a manager. Until it is over, your task in the relationship is to manage the impossible person, so that he or she deals less damage to you. As a manager, your best resources are silence (it really is golden in some cases such as this), humoring the other, and abandoning all hope of "fixing" the impossible person. Impossible people do not listen to reason. They can't (and even if they could, they wouldn't). You can't convince them that they have any responsibility for the problems between you. They don't recognize (or if they did, wouldn't try to improve) their flaws for a very logical reason; they don't have any flaws. You must understand and manage this mindset without casting blame and without giving in to anger. It's far easier said than done, and you will slip from time to time, but as time goes on, you'll become a better manager.

13. Realize that impossible people engage in projection. Understand that you are going to be accused of much (or all) of this behavior yourself. If your impossible person gets a look at this text, to them it will look like a page about you. Prepare yourself for the fact that the impossible person's flaws and failings will always be attributed to you. Remember, in their minds, you are at fault for everything! They will have an endless supply of arguments to support this, and if you make the mistake of encouraging them, they will be more than happy to tell you why you are the impossible person, and how ironic it is that you are under the mistaken impression that it is them.

14. Be the opposite of them: a possible person. Live as an example of tolerance, patience, humility, and even some kindness (as difficult as that may be)--because these are all the things that the impossible person is not or not very good at. We are all influenced by the people in our environment--they don't have to be perfect all the time and neither do you. Give respect because you are human. If you don't receive respect, that's -sadly- their problem. Give understanding, and you get understanding. Ultimately this sort of behavior is probably the only thing that might possibly get through to them. They may not change in everything, but you can safely expect a difference.

15. Recognize that they cut off or are cut off. Generally, impossible people have cut off relationships from many people: their in-laws, their own family of origin, friends, etc. This has happened because people distance from impossible people or impossible people have cut off others. Impossible people have a victim mentality: everyone is out to hurt them or has hurt them. The impossible person may have moved from job to job because “everyone else was incompetent” or “they didn’t appreciate me.” Unfortunately, sometimes the impossible person is your boss. If so, you won’t be able to do anything right. You may have had stellar reviews from prior bosses, but this one can see nothing positive in your performance. If so, look elsewhere within your organization or find another job altogether.

Seasons and Difficulties....

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 15:14:00 -0600

There was an Indian Chief who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don't judge life by one difficult season.