The Family Farm - Homeschool Blogger

Guess I Need To Dig Out the Timer sigh

Wed, 7 Jun 2006 15:21:00 -0500

I have found myself so unmotivated for the last few weeks. We worked very hard to redo the kitchen and living room several weeks ago...and I had hopes that the redo would motivate us all to keep it picked up and clean, but I was wrong. It stayed nice for a while but now it's just ick.

I'm gone from home quite a bit right now, 6-7 hours on days that I have to take FIL for his treatments, and with the farm related work that we *have to do* it seems that I just cannot find time to do what I need/want to do inside. It's to the point of needing more than just maintenance, and I can't even seem to make myself start on the days that I am able to stay home.

I checked out Flylady's book, Sink Reflections, from the library hoping that would motivate me...but I haven't even been able to force myself to dig into it.

A few years ago I used my timer daily. I would set the timer for 30-45 minutes and work diligently during that time..then I would set it for another 15-30 minutes to take a break (most of the time online). That worked really well for me, maybe because I knew that there would be an end and a *reward*. Kind of like a child, huh?

Along with the timer, I developed a system of cleaning...starting at one end and working to the other, doing things in each room. Most of the time it would take around an hour of working to be completely done with the indoor things (minus laundry..). I don't expect that to be the case while I'm trying to recover the house though.

So, I've decided that I'm going to dig out the timer...tomorrow. My husband will be taking FIL for his treatment tomorrow and Friday(I've been doing it even when he could to *bless* him...but right now I just need to be home ), so I will have Thursday-Saturday to accomplish what needs to be done. He will leave at 6:30am each morning, and be home between 12:30 and 1:30. I will need to work diligently during that time because he will have things that he needs our help with when he gets home.

I'm thinking that I need to stay offline some...I've been using it, along with movies, as an escape lately. I am not going to punish myself though...don't really feel like I've been naughty or negligent..just going through some tough things right now and it's effecting different areas of my life which, in turn, has pushed me to seek escapes. Not saying it's healthy...but it is what it is.

I sat down earlier to make a list of things that need to be done, but I didn't get very far. I think it might be better if I just pick a room to start in, and work through it. None of them are horrible, but look a bit neglected.

I'm also not sure about enlisting the help of the boys. Sometimes that works out great, but sometimes it's just better if I do the work myself...and when I am done I can show them the results, explain their responsibility and walk away. Now is probably one of those times...I'm thinking that I may have them do certain jobs before I send them out, and then I will *do my thing* afterward.

Maybe I will update later, or tomorrow, with a list of things to do...for today, laundry needs to be caught up so that won't be part of the list.

More treatments...

Wed, 7 Jun 2006 11:49:00 -0500

seems there was some kind of misunderstanding and my father in law actually has 8 more treatments...a whole week more than we had thought.

Also, he's having headaches again...horrible, painful headaches...and dizziness, along with nausea and vomiting. This isn't good. They put him back on the steroids which have their own side effects.

We spoke with the oncology radiologist's nurse about a follow up scan, and she said that they are so *confident* in the effectiveness of the treatments that they do not do that. He is over halfway through the treatments and having headaches and dizziness...but even if they did a scan I'm not sure there is anything that they could do.

We ask for continued prayers for him, and my mother in law. Her health isn't good either.

Oh my darlin, Oh my darlin, Oh my darlin Clementine....

Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:36:00 -0500

Clementine is the name of my Alpine doe, and, yes, I do sing this song to her when I go to milk her. We bought her a couple of weeks ago so that we could have goat milk. She's 3-4 yo (I cannot remember now), was living on the farm where she was born, had two babies still nursing, and had never been milked before when we bought her. The first few days were rough...

She's calmed down quite a bit. She doesn't kick the milk bucket now. She had been eating from my hand the latter part of last week, but she is moody and when she gets mad at me she won't come near me. Right now she is mad at me...

Getting her on the milk stand is sooo much fun....NOT. Generally we have to run her into her stall, and then she will allow us to put her on the leash.

We are getting around a quart from her (more or less), and I am satisfied with that considering the situation. We will breed her this fall...

We also purchased a Nubian doe, and buckling (unrelated to each other). I named the doe Agatha, calling her Aggie. She's not overly friendly, and she had not been milked when we bought her. She has learned that milkstand=food though, and jumps up readily. She also isn't as skittish, and stands pretty still during the whole thing. Yesterday I milked Clemmy second, and she jumped up on the stand behind Clem *waiting in line* for her turn at the food.

The buckling is 3months old and his name is "Billy Boy" ...I had been calling him Cracker Jack, but he's the only buck we have and Lander named him after *Billy Boy* in the cartoon....remember, "Ole Billy Boy's back, back, back..."
The plan is to breed the Alpine and the Nubian with this buck this fall. Looking at him now I cannot imagine him breeding anything...he's just a wee little baby that likes to snuggle with *mama*.

None of these animals were expensive, and none of them are registered or show quality. We had discussed having goats to clear off the land, and I had wanted dairy goats. We made the decision to purchase these goats to try it out...and knew that it wouldn't really be a waste if they didn't work out because they would still clear the land. I have found that I do enjoy milking them, and hopefully next year I can start building a herd of registered goats...either Alpine, Nubian, or LaMancha.

My husband wants to buy Boer goats...they are popular in our area, much more so than dairy breeds for some reason.

We also have a pygmy doe named Nancy...and we are going to borrow a buck to breed her with this fall. Pygmy's are another popular breed in this area.

So, now you know the truth...I've become a goatie addict.

Update on My FIL

Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:29:00 -0500

He has 5 treatments left, the rest of this week and then two days of next week. They immediately began to help with the headaches, balance issues, and dizziness.

He started losing his hair after the second week of treatments, so I took him to his daughter's house to have it shaved off. He's bought a few hats for sun protection.

His health is not good. He cannot walk around at the hospital, and we have to push him in a wheelchair. He tires easily. I know that he fears death approaching, not what comes after, but leaving. He worries about his wife, and what will happen to her in the future. She is in poor health as well, and does not drive. He knows that we will make sure she is cared for...but you know how it would be, nobody can care for her the way that he does.

Only God knows what is to come, and we try to rest in that knowledge and trust in Him. Sometimes it's hard not to let worry overwhelm you...

Update on my FIL

Mon, 15 May 2006 09:18:00 -0500

I wish it were a good one, but we have gotten some bad news. He now has more *nodules* in his lungs, a lesion on his liver (which is presumed to be cancer), and a tumor in his brain. He starts radiation for the brain cancer tomorrow...

Please pray for him, and all of us, if God brings it to your mind.

wow it's been a long time

Tue, 9 May 2006 12:48:00 -0500

I'm such a computer dunce that I had to stop blogging because I couldn't figure out how to delete my cookies in order to reset my password. Thankfully a dear sister helped me out with that one...

I have much to update on, most of it boring though, and I hope to make time to do that later today or in the morning.

Nice to be back to bloggin...

A New Spin on Supporting "Your Husband's Vision"

Mon, 6 Mar 2006 17:26:00 -0600

A couple of days ago (remember way back when it was beautiful outside instead of rainy and cold?) my husband and I went for a walk. He wanted to show me what he had been working on. We walked toward the field where the goat is and down around the rail fence to a stand of cedars. Well, there used to be a stand of cedars...I guess there still is, but lots of them are down.

Bless his heart, he showed me every single tree that he cut. He talked about the plans he has for the logs (hopefully part of them will be walls for our home). He talked about some having more red than others, and on and on...

Then he took me toward the barn where he proceeded to show me more cedar logs that he had drug out, and more stumps where he had cut trees.

I think I married a lumberjack at heart.

At one time in our marriage I would have seriously made fun of him. I'm not talking about the poking fun, like the comment about him being a lumberjack, he is good hearted and likes to tease so that would not bother him. I mean *serious* degrading comments. I would have made him feel stupid...and I am not sure why, though doesn't that usually stem from a need to feel superior??

At one time in our marriage I would have simply told him I didn't care, and that he could *do his thing while I do mine*. Wow...how many women say that and then are left sitting back not knowing why their men are not spending time with them or the children? Sometimes we need to fake it...and as one friend would suggest, wait for the feelings of interest to come. Be a good faker...

There are events in the past that would have played out differently had I let my husband lead, or at least supported him in his ideas. I know of many times that he mentioned a desire for something, or a thought to change something and I *shot him down*. Trying to please me, he listened to me...and I was too stupid to shut my mouth.

We are very different creatures, and only God in heaven would have paired us up. We looked doomed from the start. Maybe at one point we would have been, but God is good, and He can help a heart to change and grow. *He* is the tie that binds us...Now we have a wonderful relationship, and not just one that appears to be so due to a domineering wife and a submissive/passive husband who loves her.

Wow, that went on a trip that I hadn't planned to trek...oh well, I will leave it as is. It was what was in my heart, and someday I am sure I will enjoy rereading it.

Another Lovely Day

Thu, 2 Mar 2006 16:45:00 -0600

When we woke up this morning it was cloudy and gray. We expected rain, and it came...so no farm work. Lander and I both needed haircuts, so we decided we would just have a day out, get the haircuts and do some shopping.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, the weather cleared up shortly after we got to town. The boys and I went to the used bookstore while Lander was getting his haircut. I found some more Childhood of Famous Americans books, which I was thrilled about, plus some more great history books, and some books just for fun.

After we were finished there they guys dropped me off to get my hair cut and went shopping. That didn't take very long...

We decided that we would go on a picnic and to the museum since the day was so beautiful. I wish I had taken my camera, maybe some day I will learn to carry it all the time. I seem to miss a lot of good stuff because I only take it with me for really special things.

We grabbed a bucket of chicken from KFC and went to the park. They have a beautiful shaded area with picnic tables. It was really just a beautiful day to be out and enjoy nature. While we were eating, a squirrel sat on his tree watching us...waiting for a bite of biscuit. He was so cute, and again, I wish I had my camera with me. We would throw him a bite and he would come within a few feet of us to get it.

When we finished eating we walked down to the edge of the stream, looked at the little fishies, skipped rocks, jumped over the stream in spots...just had fun.

Then we went on to the museum. There isn't a lot to see there. They have been remodeling, and...well...there just isn't a lot to see there. We watched a little movie about the nearby cave (which has a really cool story behind it). They also have a great movie about Daniel Boone, but two of the boys didn't want to sit through it because we have seen it before.

The younger two boys wanted whistles, one a penny whistle, the other a signal whistle, so daddy kindly bought those for them and then we headed outside.

They have a small *model* cabin and stocks on the grounds, so we isnpected them. The guys began talking about building stocks here at home, and we already have a small cabin (log chicken house that is unused by the chickens who seem to prefer the Virginia rail fence and trees to roost in) that they have been given permission to convert into a *play cabin*. I love that they are able to *play out* history. It really cements it in their minds.

After we finished there we headed toward home. We talked about making this a history summer, and trying to visit all the nearby historical parks/museums on day trips. I am thinking that we will make scrapbooks...doesn't that sound like FUN?

I think our next trip will be to the cave, if weather is nice next Saturday, and if it's not we are going to visit the Abraham Lincoln Library and Museum.

Lovely Days

Wed, 1 Mar 2006 14:41:00 -0600

Last week we went for a walk down into the woods behind our barn. My *men* are handling me with kid-gloves lately because of my *illness*, so my oldest held my hand all the way, making sure to take me on the easiest travelled path. I love the attention, and I am so proud of how we have raised them, to care for others...their wives will be very blessed indeed.

My husband wanted to show me the spring. It had almost dried up, but he's cleaned it out, and with lots of wet weather it is now flowing. He's so proud of this place, and so thankful. It just makes me happy to listen to him ramble about what he is doing and what he plans to do.

Here's a pic...

Apparently the weather effects me much more than I ever realized, or it is affecting me more now than it used to, because I find myself feeling *full* inside when we have these beautiful DRY spring days. I feel renewed and energized...and hopeful.

Snow is beautiful, but after snow comes mud...at least here on the farm anyway. The snow only lasts a day or two, and then we have a week or more of nasty mud. My mood matches, disgusting, depressed, and ugly.

School is going well, but it seems that each time I make a decision something happens to change it. So goes life though, huh?

We've been making frequent visits to the library lately, reading lots of books about lots of different things. Somehow it all ends up connecting in the end so I am not doing a lot of directing. So funny to be *studying* Egypt, but have children who are reading books on knights, the civil war, spies, and Don Quixote. That's the way it goes though.

My oldest and I made a trip out a few days ago. I love going out with my children alone. The conversation is very different one on one than it is if there are brothers tagging along OR if dad is with us.

We went to the library and browsed their movies, picked up some holds (very much loving our library system and *FREE* interlibrary loans right now), and looked through the books. This library is not the one we usually go to, so it was fun to see what they had, and with it being so small it didn't take us long to browse.

Today we went to the hospital for my abdominal ultrasound. The lady who took my info complimented me on my boys. She said that most children wouldn't stand quietly and wait. Well, it made me feel good anyway.

After the ultrasound we went by the library, but it was packed. We didn't know that they had storytime during that time, and we couldn't even find a parking place...so we decided to go have lunch. I was realllly hungry because I wasn't allowed to eat after midnight. The boys picked Long John Silver's...yummm...GREASEY deep fried fish!!

Then after lunch we tried the library again. Thankfully there was at least a place to park this time, but the library was full of 1-3yo's. It looked like the party was breaking up, so we decided to wait around. Now, I will say, I have nothing against a bunch of 1-3yo's...but, our libraries are generally empty and quiet, so it was different. Plus, the place that my children generally use was occupied and they were kind of at a loss and stuck to my shirt-tail.

We hit the jackpot though, lots of books on all the things that we are interested in. I had to limit them...we have been going every week so it isn't like they can't pick up more the next time.

Oldest is very into the Civil War right now. He's very intrigued at the inaccuracies of most stories about Abraham Lincoln and the causes of the war. He's writing a *historical fiction* novel about a 14-15yo boy who lied about his age in order to join in the battle. Our house is full of all sorts of books on the subject, some we own, and some we have borrowed from our library. I'm anxious to see where this leads.

And now I am here, wasting time. My tummy is sore from all the mashing that the tech did, and I'm being a big baby. I don't even have a supper plan for today...not even an inkling of what I might fix.

Lander is off tomorrow, and my plan is to go get my hair cut. It's getting so long that the flip won't stay in it...aggravating. I'm not taking a before pic, but maybe I'll post an after one.

The boys want to go with me so they can visit the used book store again. Not sure what Lander's plans are...he's still cutting down trees and plowing up dirt.

A Medical Update

Wed, 1 Mar 2006 14:36:00 -0600

Went to have my abdominal ultrasound done today, and the tech saw a stone...a large stone, he said. I told him that I had not been having attacks, though I do have times when I am in pain and know it's my gall bladder. He says it's because the larger stones are *stuck* and the smaller stones are the ones that cause the pain because they are trying to get through the tube. Makes sense to me...

I go to see my doctor on Friday, and I'm sure that she is going to tell me that the gall bladder needs to come out. She tried to get me to have it taken out before, and I didn't. I have lots of questions to ask her, and she will have to convince me of it being a necessity before I will agree.

I go to see the cardiologist on March 8. I've had two more episodes since the visit for the echo.

Sometimes I feel silly for being so concerned when others have so much more on their plates, but...I am concerned.

So, if you think of me, please say a prayer. Thanks!