The Helpful Husband

Sat, 16 May 2009 14:07:00 -0500

Sir is getting a few projects done this weekend (which for me started yesterday). I am not. I did have some plans but here is how it goes:

I planned, simply enough, to straighten, dust and vacuum the living room. I had a couple of sack of books in there that needed going through and – if you believe it – a few Christmas decorations that still needed putting away.

Sir also had some things he wanted to get done – great! But tell me, why is it when he gets things done – it interrupts my “getting things done” – but my projects don’t interfere with his? i.e. if I’m working on something it doesn’t interfere with his Western Movies?

I am in the living room, sorting books, and along comes Sir with his drill.

“Where do you want that hole in your desk?”

Me, “huh?”

“You know, so you can put the cords down for Blondie’s computer.”

“oh.” (I had stopped asking about that – I think I asked a couple of months ago. We had gotten use to the cords draped across the front and the tower sticking out – it had become rather handy as a little end table.)

“well, why don’t you show me where you want it.”

So I go upstairs to the “office” and say “here.”

“Didn’t you want another phone line, too?” “yes, but I need another connection.”

“Well, let’s just get it all done then. Do you need another surge protector?”

“No- I was going to switch a few things around, and do something different with the phone-computer connection.”

He wanted me to explain. I couldn’t. He doesn’t speak computereeze – and frankly, I don’t either, but I can visualize what needs to be done. He’s an electrician; so what I was saying didn’t make sense in electrineeze. So finally I said “Just let me take care of it.”

So he drilled a nice hole in the back of my desk. And three hours later I had moved out two computers, a printer, dusted behind it all, moved them back into place and reconnected all the cords, etc.

Why did it take three hours? Because while I’m doing that, Sir is going through stuff in my messy office and saying “do you need this?” And I have to crane my neck out from under the desk to look and give an answer. And he decided to clean the hallway (that goes the length of the house upstairs) – “DO YOU NEED THIS?” I finally said – just take care of it.

Well, that was a mistake. I looked in the garbage and rescued that little bit a material that helps hold back the drapes in my bedroom (I had wondered where it went). Also when I opened the hamper to put some clothes in there, I discovered some clean socks, a clean shirt (still folded) and a few other clean items. I know what he did – there was some stuff in a pile on the floor so he just threw them in. And I’m wondering what happened to a few more things – but am afraid to ask.

I do know that I’m going to get my laundry done today before Sir tackles the bedroom. Last time he did that I lost my navy slip for several months. Finally found it on a hanger in the closet. Odd.

And my living room isn’t dusted, vacuumed – and Sir is watching a western.

Oh Lord – please send my husband some work!!!

Facebook Trauma

Tue, 5 May 2009 20:53:00 -0500

It's been several weeks since I've blogged. I've finally entered the world of facebook. I'm not sure if that's a good idea, but I did, and it is fun.

It just doesn't take the place of blogging. This is where I can just tell my stories, or just ramble away. You can't ramble on FB - I think you're only allowed so many lines!

FB did pose an immediate problem for me: you have to ask to be friends. It reminded me of high school and not being popular. Does that sound pathetic to anyone else? "Pretty please, can we be friends?" Ah, well. And then there is the impulse to automatically agree to be friends with anyone who asks you - no matter how distance that acquaintance is. So I ended up "friending" people that I would not have sought out.

I started out with the ulterior motive of checking on clients who had FB - only to realize that you had to be "friends." Not going to happen. What person in their right mind (okay, that's debatable) would ask a custody investigator to be their friend? Nope.

But then I realized that I had some old high school friends there. Now, that's been fun. I will friend anyone from my old school. EVEN those that never spoke to me. AH, popular at last. Me and their 139 other friends.

Of course then I have friend whom I could just pick up the phone and call but of course I'd friend them because it was just, you know, FUN.

But then I allowed some of their kids "friend" me. And that's when I started thinking: this is a problem.

Now, understand I just started FB in the last couple of weeks. And I realize it promotes a familiarity with its' users that may not occur during a physical face to face conversation.

So, when a young teen son of a friend questioned me on a subject, and then seemed to (I'm sure in jest) criticize my cousin, I had to take another look.

And I decided: I'm not friends with everyone. I needed to set some limits! Sir thinks I overthink this whole thing. But I had to work it through my mind! Crazy as it seems.

So, I am thinking of my FB as an extension of my home. Other than my old HS friends, if a person isn't someone I'd be comfortable having a chat with in my own living room - they aren't "friends." So with that in mind - I "unfriended" some people. First to go were the teenage sons of a friends. They are perfectly good kids, but the FB allowed a familiarity I did not want.

OH! I love to browse to see who has a FB. I saw that the Judge (whose courtroom I'm generally in) has a FB, too, and I saw all her friends: other attorneys, social workers, etc. that I know.

And I thought - I want to be their friend too! And I almost... ALMOST...asked. And I didn't.

Because... it's an extension of my home. I fought down the old high school feeling of unpopular and reminded myself that I didn't want or need to be "friends" with them!

I'm good where I'm at.

Thank you for listening.

Content at Home - Homeschool Blogger

The Helpful Husband

Facebook Trauma