Two Kid Schoolhouse - Homeschool Blogger

Blog troubles, visit me a blogger now!

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:30:00 -0600

I am having some troubles posting here again so am not double-posting on both blogger and hsb right now. So come see me at my blogger site and add that one to your reader. For those anxiously awaiting some new reading material, there are a couple of new posts up there.

Caving on the Valentine's Party, sort of

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 13:52:00 -0600

Couple weeks ago I wrote about my homeschool group's annual Valentine party and why we were sitting it out. Well, I semi-caved on the deal; we went after all, and I'm glad I did.

First of all, we did not exchange valentines. But, the venue was one much desired by my children: Chuck E Cheese. This was the third time in their young lives they have been there. I hate it, but it's a fun place, once in a while. They hadn't seen their homeschool friends in a long time; we've been housebound, the pizza and token were cheap.

So I emailed the leader of the homeschool group and asked if we could just come. She readily agreed. We knew that in the chaos no one would really notice that my kids were not exchanging valentines.

Boy were we right.

When we arrived most of the 20-odd moms and kids were trickling in, armed with the valentines they'd prepared and the bags to collect in. The kids immediately ran off to play the games, leaving the moms holding the bags. (Hahaha.)   Over half were people I'd never seen before. One woman commented that she knew only one other person there! (I managed to restrain myself from asking her why she had her kid do valentines for 30+ strangers.)

I did receive a few exclamations of surprise at my presence. Embarrassment that they did not have valentines for my kids. I tried to explain, without explaining exactly why, that we weren't really there in an official capacity and did not expect any valentines.

Then, the moms proceeded to fill the kids' bags with the valentines! The kids were no where in sight! No exchange was being done. The kids played, the moms walked around looking for names on bags and put valentines in.

As moms finished filling the bags, some wandered over to where I was hanging out. While publicly everyone was full of enthusiasm for the exchange, privately... well... More than once a mom told me that she had a hard time explaining to her kids why they were making valentines for people they didn't know.   Every single one told me that when trying to explain, they related the custom of valentine exchange to school. Let's take a moment to remember that not one of these kids goes to school! Most have never been to school!

So in that context I felt comfortable explaining why we did not participate. At that point it didn't need much explanation.

These women are not dopes. They are thoughtful, educated women who are taking on full responsibility for the care and education of their children.   They research learning styles and educational methods. They know the benefits and downsides to phonics and whole-language.   They can tell you which Latin curriculum worked best for them and why they chose (or did not choose) to follow the classical education model. They are intentionally counter-cultural.

Except on Valentine's Day, I guess.

Another Valentine's Day post

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 13:23:00 -0600

Usually one every 2 years is enough, but I was noodling around on the 'net today while my kids are trying to make snowballs out of the eighth-inch on the ground and came across some ruminations on the topic. (Moo!) I am reminded of the first V-Day I spent with my husband.

He took me out to a nice Italian restaurant, his favorite place. It was not a fancy place, but not a plastic-grapes on the ceiling pizza joint. The food was fabulous.

He had made a reservation (I think) but there was still a wait. Well, that turned out to be the most entertaining part of the evening! People-watching on V-Day is such fun! The atmosphere was thick with passive-aggressive discontent. I think I was the only happy woman in the place. The rest sat around looking put out, either because the place wasn't nice enough, or because they had to wait. The waiting, I think, implied to them that the man had not thought ahead and made a reservation.

I am surprised we could converse over the sounds of exaggerated sighing.

Now I am not a big Valentine's person. In the past a dinner out with some good wine has been the standard celebration. But I have young kids. My girl is really into the whole heart and love thing, and at her age it's cute. She make valentines for special people, relatives mostly. My boy couldn't care less about it.

But, we have realized that we should probably make a slightly bigger deal out of it for our son. See, some day (we hope) he will have a wife. And while I pray (fervently and frequently) that he doesn't end up with someone like those sighing passive-aggressive dames I used to see at La Galleria, he might end up with a woman who's just a little bit into Hallmark holidays and would like something. Not jewels, you know, but maybe a Whitman's sampler (is that the one with the little map on the lid?) or, our personal favorite, Ghirardelli espresso escape. The poor kid is already a freak, not having an x-box or even a real game boy. We may as well not handicap him any more.

So, what to do? There's not much time, and between school, homeschooling, our dog, the visiting dog, the electrical fire in the back yard (more on that another day), life is just plumb full! But my husband and I are not above pulling a long-forgotten (and never noticed by the kids) book off a shelf and wrapping it up, just so we have a gift to give. In our house, books are the best gifts anyway. Hm... I wonder if they ever noticed this new copy of the selected writings of Thomas Aquinas that's sitting on the desk here...

Parasitical Housewife

Sat, 9 Feb 2008 18:53:00 -0600

Isn't that a great term? I've been reading some blogs lately about men who delay marriage or don't bother to marry. The comments on these blogs say a lot about men and their attitudes toward women. More than once I read the term "parasite" attached to "housewife."

I feel like changing the name of my blog to that, but that's too much work. I have way too much to do, watching Oprah, eating bonbons, spending all my husband's hard-earned dough, and sitting around with my girlfriends dissing my the old man all day long, waiting till his 401K is big enough for me to dump him and take all his cash, and the house! (Should be a long wait, what with this seminary thing he's doing.)

Oops! And here some of you thought I took care of and educated my kids, cooked great meals (OK, they're not all great), kept the house running reasonably efficiently and cleanly, hung out with and enjoyed my family, and generally contributed to the wellbeing of that family.

Nope, you're wrong. I'm just a parasite, living off my husband, sucking the very life out of him as we speak.

Hahahahahaha!

Instant Doggy Door

Thu, 7 Feb 2008 06:53:00 -0600

Yesterday it was warm enough to open the windows and get some fresh air in here. Lovely. The kitchen door - which is the door kids and dogs use to get out to the back yard - has a screen that had a little rip in the bottom corner. Note the use of the word "had." No, we didn't fix it yesterday. Have you already figured out what happened?

It was our dog, little Max, who wanted to get outside but was a little impatient. Rather than wait for us to open the door, he just plowed through the screen, which easily parted from its frame to create a little doggy door for him. Big dumb Casper, the visiting dog, still waits for us to open the door. I am very happy about that, because that would create a really, really big open flap.

However, an opening is an opening, and now we're not sure what to do. It seems apparent that in his life before us, Max had access to a doggy door: he uses it with such ease. However, we live in mosquito country, and summer is really not all that far off. (Just check the stores and clothing catalogs if you are dubious.)

Treat a boy like a man, and maybe...

Mon, 4 Feb 2008 06:31:00 -0600

he'll start acting like one. Compare and contrast:

1. Boy, 10, goes to Sunday School class taught by a woman. Sits at a table, listens to stories, performs tasks such as word searches, mazes. Gets candy rewards for things like bringing his Bible, having his verse memorized. Boy gets bored, fidgets and sometimes misbehaves. Boy comes home feeling deflated and relieved that it's over.

2. Boy, 10, who is a Cub Scout, goes to a Boy Scout event run by older boys and men. Boy is immediately put onto a team with other boys and performs tasks such as pulling a sled (yes, the boys are the sled dogs), building a fire, cooking a meal*, crossing a river on a rope suspended overhead. Boy is engaged mentally and physically. There is not time to be bored, to fidget, to misbehave. Boy comes home exhausted but energized and ready for more.

OK, these are just two little anecdotes from one boy's life. But they illustrate the problem so many boys suffer from: too little expectation for manly behavior, too much exposure to feminine ways of learning and doing.

Not all boys suffer in Sunday School, even when the hardest "work" is a word matchup wherein all the words that match are already highlighted in matching colors. (Don't want to bother reading? No need. Just find the yellow rectangle in this column, and draw a line to the yellow rectangle in that column.) Boredom in class is never, ever an excuse for misbehavior. But it can explain the reason for misbehavior. And boys need to learn to sit still and listen, and participate in "classroom" activities. Maybe after they get some energy out. And without a piece of candy as a performance reward?

Of course some boys don't want to live up to those manly expectations. At least one boy found a reason to leave the Boy Scout event early. I don't know his reason, other than that he hadn't looked forward to it in the first place, and wasn't enjoying it. Some boys prefer a quieter day. Some would rather be home with their x-boxes, or their backyard soccer game, or the tv.

But my boy? Oh, he thrived. A boy who can be so lazy at home just dove into the work. Now of course it was fun. But a lot of it was hard. And it was expected of him by all the boys and men around him.

Now I need to find an event that blends the two: manly activities taught in an atmosphere permeated with teaching about the love of God and the sacrifice of Jesus. Maybe a summer camp?

*OK, meal is defined loosely here. A hamburger wrapped in foil and cooked on the grill. Steamed, actually. Ick. But, you know, he wouldn't starve.

My semi-annual Valentine blues post

Fri, 1 Feb 2008 18:13:00 -0600

Two years ago around this time I blogged about my dislike of the notion of boys over a certain age exchanging valentines. Last year I didn't have anything new to say so I didn't bother. I guess this year I don't have much new to say, except, here I am in a new state with a new homeschool group and... here it is again! The random valentine exchange!

I had really hoped that this wouldn't even come up this year. This homeschool group is bigger, and includes a slightly older crowd than my previous group. My boy is now 10 1/2 years old - sorry to anyone who disagrees, but I think this is way too old for boys to be exchanging valentines. I consider my son a young man now, and men don't exchange valentines!

Of course I have other quibbles. We are pretty new to this homeschool group, but we have participated in a lot of events so we know quite a few people. But when I checked the list of attendees for this shindig, I saw that of the 30-odd kids attending, we know only about 1/2. To highlight the randomness of it all - on the list kids with ambiguous names were identified as boy or girl so when kids prepared their valentines they would at least know if they should give a Pirates of the Caribbean card, or an Angelina Ballerina. Or something like that.

I did ask my kids if they wanted to go, since the venue is fun and a place they don't go to often enough (for their taste, not mine). They were horrified at the thought. So my conscience is clear.

Really, it shouldn't bother me so much when homeschoolers do these schoolish things that make no sense. I assume it's because the moms have fond memories of valentine exchanges in school. I bet if the dads were organizing things, they would not even think to have a valentine party.

One friend from "back home" told me she disagreed with me on this. She felt (probably still feels) that this is a nice way for kids to show others they are thinking about them. Fair enough. But how much thinking are they doing about a kid they don't even know?

A Day in the Life

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:20:00 -0600

On a message board (for homeschool mommies) I read, members occasionally post "a day in the life" to show a typical, or maybe not-so-typical homeschool day. These are interesting for homeschool moms, particularly those of us who sometimes wonder if we are doing enough of all the right things for our children. Yesterday I posted my day, or at least the first several hours of it:

6 am daughter (E) awakens crying, needs to snuggle

7 am untangle myself from her, get up

7:05 let Max (our dog) out

7:10 feed Max, let Casper (visiting dog) out

7:15 feed Casper, start a load of laundry

7:30 wake everyone else up, start thinking about breakfast, shower

7:45 remember that no one has cleaned up the backyard in a couple of days (dogs don't clean up after themselves, you know), put on my martyr mom hat and go outside in the rain to pick up.

7:50 start making breakfast

7:52 tell dogs to stop fighting, let them outside, continue making breakfast

8:00 let dogs back in

8:02 use towel that dogs are supposed to stand on when coming in to wipe the rest of the floor (we have Max trained to stop there and sit for a minute but with Casper there, forget it)

8:05 eat breakfast, read catechism and Bible about being thankful to God for everything. Laugh out loud

8:45 start kitchen cleanup

8:50 let dogs out again

9:00 let dogs in again, wipe floor

9:10 try to set up MUS DVD lesson for E; discover I still don't know how to work the "new" (2 months old) tv set

9:15 get J (son) to set up DVD; I'll learn another day; someone lets dogs out

9:20 remind kids they need to do schooltime today even with the excitement of dogs playing "vigorously" (looks like fighting to me) in the backyard

9:30 let dogs back in.

9:35 dogs start barking madly and running around the house, we determine they are barking at the high wind.

9:40 help E with her math; J watches his DVD lesson

9:45 husband looks out window and announces that a neighbor's recycle bin has been blown over and papers are flying all around the neighborhood in the high wind. Kids and I go out to pick them up. E asks if that will count as a "good turn" required for girl scouts. I ponder whether it "counts" when her real motive is to get out of math.

9:55 realize we are locked out of the house as I left my keys inside and husband is now in attic and can't hear the bell.

10:00 J learns how to climb over the fence.

10:45 math and cursive practice are finally finished.

10:55 J decides he needs more practice climbing the fence and that E needs to learn. I am too distracted with dogs and let them go.

11:15 Kids come in, dogs go out. J and I work on a report about George Washington for cub scouts Friday night. E writes a thank you card from her birthday 3 weeks ago.

11:25 dogs come in, floor is wiped, more laundry is started

11:30 keep working on report. E is still writing her letter and keeps coming to ask how to spell words. I wonder why she is asking how to spell "chaotic."

12:00 start thinking about lunch

12:15 eat lunch while reading history.

12:45 3 science experiments, very simple ones, one of which involves jello.

1:15 fill out lab sheets, eat jello

1:30 kids fold and put away laundry, I wash dishes.

1:45 take dogs out to play with new ball. Dogs fight over new ball. Muscle Casper into the house and play with Max.

2:00 bring Max in the house, husband takes Casper outside to play ball with him.

2:02 E and I can't stand Max's whining while watching Dad play with Casper, so we take him for a walk.

2:30 come home to find Casper still outside. New ball has been destroyed already.

After that it calmed down a little, I guess...

That was the end of my post. I don't remember much else except laundry, letting dogs in and out, and stumbling into the office where the seminarian was working and asking desperately if there was more coffee made. No, there wasn't. He offered to make some for me, but at 5 pm it didn't really matter. Instead, he offered to make a quick run to the local wine shop so we could have wine with dinner, a rare treat these days. Aaahhh....

Oh and there was a (mercifully short) lecture to the kids about the homeschool laws in the state of Pennsylvania and the fact that if we take every day off while Casper is visiting we will not get our required 180 days of "school" in. Because no matter how you count "schooltime" I don't think watching dogs tear up the backyard counts.

Note: Sorry for all the font changes. For some reason I can't get them right.

Zero to two dogs in 3 weeks

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:52:00 -0600

No, we didn't get another dog. At least, not permanently. We are babysitting a dog though! Some friends are jetting off to Russia to finalize an adoption. They easily found places for their 4 kids to stay. The 80-pound lab/weimaraner mix was a little more difficult. My spousal unit made the offer to board the dog before Max came into our lives. But no matter; their big dog - we have nicknamed him "The Bus" because when he's coming at ya, ya need to get out of the way - needed a place to live for the 25 or so days they'll be gone.

So while I'm still learning how to care for one dog, I am involved in dealing with dog dominance issues. It's hard for me to watch these two boys go at it. Most of the time the tales are wagging, but not always. There have been some tough moments. Today The Bus tried to get into Max's bed. Big mistake.

Max is outweighed by 50 pounds, but he seems to be showing that he's the big dog in this house!

Hate to diss someone's church, but...

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 06:54:00 -0600

this article about a new mega-church in the Atlanta area had some disheartening things to say about the state of Christianity in the US. (Kerri, I'm expecting to hear from you on this one...)

The new church includes "facilities for children, from birth through college..." What is wrong with that sentence?

Of course, most churches anymore have "children's church" or Sunday School during the church service because kids aren't expected to be able to sit through a church service. Though our church doesn't separate kids, I remember a few occasions when they were younger that the sermon content was something I'd rather they weren't exposed to just then. Still, it bothers me that "...congregants are encouraged not to bring children into the worship experience center..." because "We don't want a 2-year-old to disrupt anyone's experience." I don't know if kids are allowed in the cafe, either.

The facility cost $30 million. Movie-making equipment and staff are probably pretty expensive! I guess that's money well-spent if it really gets people in the doors, hearing the Gospel so they can truly become part of the body of Christ, ready to go out and minister to others. My brief experience with an almost-mega-church makes me a little cynical, though. My guess is people will hear "nice words spoken" (not a quote from the article but something a nonbeliever who attended a Christian church once said to me; she also complained about the icky focus on the Crucifixion on the Sunday before Easter) and go on with their lives. I hope I am wrong about that.