Positively Living - Homeschool Blogger

Homeschooling Through Unemployment

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:39:00 -0500

Homeschooling through my husband’s unemployment has been a mixed bag of blessings and difficulties. First of all, let me address some of the difficulties – most of which you could probably come up with on your own.

24/7 Family Togetherness – Homeschooling families spend a lot of time together. Togetherness goes hand-in-hand with homeschooling and, indeed, may be the reason for many families’ decisions to homeschool, but usually at least one member of the family goes off to work during the day.
Trouble Staying On-Task – Husbands like to have projects to do. They like to stay busy and feel a sense of accomplishment whether they are getting paid or not. The children oftentimes see what Dad is working on and want to “help.” If this is a weekend project, it doesn’t usually interfere with school, but when it’s a weekday morning project it becomes a whole different story.
Coming and Going – During the course of these projects, invariably a trip to the store becomes necessary. Then come the echoes of “Can I go too? Can I go too?” Everybody is bound to need something from the store, so a shopping list must be created.

I could probably come up with one or two more problem areas, but I really want to focus on the blessings. Most would not agree that unemployment could possibly bring anything good with it, but I have found some true blessings in the midst.

Help With Teaching Math – Language Arts is my area of expertise and enjoyment. My math skills are quite limited, and I have a knack for not only confusing my children but myself as well. My husband is our family math whiz. Instead of calling him at work to get his guidance through a math problem, we have him right here.
Running Errands – There are days that get eaten up by being on the road running hither and yon: pick up a prescription at the pharmacy, one of the kids’ has outgrown his shoes (again!) and needs new ones, we’re out of milk, we need stamps . . . It’s nice to have my husband run those errands while the rest of us stay at home getting schoolwork done. I think he offers because he wants to get away from the house; but if it keeps us from losing a day of school, I won’t take it personally.
Help with Chores – My husband is a real pro at loading the dishwasher (those engineering skills are useful), After I get all the dishes that will fit crammed into the dishwasher, he will invariably find a way to sqeeze in 4 more bowls and a few more glasses. It’s a real talent. Not only that, but when my husband cleans an appliance, he takes it apart to clean it thoroughly inside and out and then puts it back together again. It would have never occurred to me to take apart the oven door to clean the stuff that dripped down between the inner and outer panes of glass (not that I could have put the oven door back on even if I had actually figured out how to remove it in the first place).
Help with Computer Troubles – If you ask my children what I’m most likely to say while sitting in front of my computer, they would tell you, “I should really take this thing out to the backyard and just shoot it!” Unfortunately, my reliance on my computer far surpasses my knowledge of how to make it do what I want it to do. My onsite computer expert always comes to my rescue (or maybe he’s actually rescuing the computer). Working at my computer was much more frustrating when my husband was going off to work everyday. I would have to wait for him to get home in the evening, and by then I would probably have attempted every possible “fix” that I knew, thereby making a bigger mess for my husband to undo. Luckily for my computer – I don’t have a gun.

So, you see, unemployment is not ALL bad. I have to admit, I’m not totally looking forward to having my husband go back to work. I’ll have to go back to running my own errands and limping my way through math problems, but I do think I’ll appreciate payday much more.

Great Movie!

Fri, 22 May 2009 20:42:00 -0500

I haven't seen a movie in a long time that is as amazing as The Last Sin Eater. What a beautiful story! I loved the characters - pure undefiled good versus selfserving evil. I don't want to give any of the story away, so I'm not going to go into details. If you haven't seen this movie, watch it - you'll be glad you did.

One Thing

Mon, 18 May 2009 15:31:00 -0500

Living with a chronic illness gives us a fresh look at priorities. It causes us to examine our priorities from a new perspective. We folks who are chronically ill don't have the ability to live life the way we once did. We may not have the energy we used to have. Our bodies may not work like they used to. We may need more help doing things we once did alone. When illness becomes our new reality, whether suddenly or over time, things that we once held with great importance may not seem quite as important any more. We may find that events we once attended without fail may not be as necessary as they once were. Our once spotless homes may be a little more cluttered (okay, maybe spotless isn't the right word). The bottom line here is that life is different than it used to be. Okay, so what do we do about it?

I read something recently that has stuck with me. It's a very simple idea really. Here it is - pick one thing each day that you want to accomplish. How much simpler could it be? Your one thing might be mopping the kitchen floor or scrubbing the shower. OR if it's one of those days that you're just able to drag yourself to the bathroom, maybe you could plan to wipe down the sink while you're there. (Make sure to keep cleaning wipes handy.) The point is that you plan to accomplish something everyday, and you follow through. Having a plan is a good start to any endeavor, and the easier the plan, the easier it is to get done.

There's no good reason to beat ourselves up because we can't manage to get much done. That doesn't get us anywhere but into a deep pit of guilt and depression. Let's instead plan to get one thing done - and do it! And at the end of the day, we have accomplished our "to do" list. Tomorrow we can start a new "to do" list. Let's see. . . I think I might vacuum my bedroom tomorrow. If it's a good day, I may feel up to doing even more; but unless I'm on my death bed I should be at least be able to push a vacuum cleaner around my bedroom.

Saving Money on Curriculum

Thu, 7 May 2009 13:19:00 -0500

I am in the throes of making decisions about what programs to use with my daughters next year. I have found some great deals on stuff on www.homeschoolclassifieds.com. I've also posted some of my own things there. If you're looking to save some bucks on next year's curriculum, you should check this site out!

Accredited or Not?

Sun, 7 Jun 2009 19:30:00 -0500

Homeschooling families are faced with many dilemmas throughout the course of their homeschooling journeys. One of the dilemmas facing many homeschoolers is whether to connect themselves with an accredited school or to remain purely unadulterated and unattached. There are pros and cons with either decision.

Many families like the support and safety of an accredited program. In this method of homeschooling, students may actually be enrolled in a private school yet they complete their lessons at home. Some of these programs allow parents to grade their children’s work, while others require that the work be submitted to their staff for grading. Usually, when a child is enrolled in a private school/homeschool program, he is first given a diagnostic test to determine the grade level for each subject. The school will then notify the parents with a suggested plan of study. The school normally dictates the curriculum and specific daily assignments. Parents may have a great deal of contact with the school staff or a very limited amount of input from the school. Many schools assign an educational advisor to each family. These advisors will work to insure that each student earns the proper needed credits at each stage. This may be extremely helpful for families homeschooling high school students. Having an educational advisor, or graduation coach, at that point can be very beneficial. It can be quite traumatic to have a child on the brink of graduation and find out that he is missing a credit for a class he should have taken. Another benefit to being involved with an accredited school is the fact that students receive diplomas from that accredited school. The student’s transcript will show that he matriculated in a private school and earned a diploma from that school. This could make college admission a much easier and more pleasant experience - for the students and parents alike. Also, some scholarships are rewarded only to students with diplomas from accredited schools. Dual enrollment eligibility may require that the student is enrolled in an accredited program as well. For those homeschooling parents who don’t feel comfortable with being completely responsible for their children’s education, this can be a very attractive option.

Enrollment in an accredited program does have its downside. It can mean quite a financial commitment. Usually the school has an enrollment fee and a registration fee. These fees may be doubled or tripled for more than one child being enrolled. Some programs include books and/or access to online classes in their upfront fees. Others require that families purchase student materials separately. The curriculum may be rigidly designated with no allowable alternatives. Courses are usually limited to stiff time constraints. The student may not receive credit if the coursework is not completed by a set deadline.

Parents who don’t want outside limits imposed on their children’s education may take a different path. Pure homeschooling may be more appealing to these families. Parents have complete authority over curriculum, activities, grades (or no grades). If a student needs more than 180 days to complete a course, he has that freedom. If the students and/or parents decide that they just don’t like the curriculum they chose to use, changes can be made midstream. Also, families can use materials from more than one publisher. For instance, parents may choose to use Saxon for math and Shurley Grammar for language arts. Parents may decide to use only what is available from their local library, making for a very inexpensive homeschooling program. Student interests can guide subject choices, too; and student weaknesses can dictate that more attention is given to that particular area of study.

All of this freedom of choice calls for a great deal of research and decision-making on the part of the parents. It will be necessary for parents to become familiar with different types of curricula and to seek out recommendations from other homeschoolers. The parents will also benefit from becoming familiar with their students’ individual learning styles. These parents who prefer pure homeschooling will need to be true educators. That is not to say that they must hold degrees in teaching, but they must themselves have knowledge before they can impart this knowledge to their students.

Students who are homeschooled completely under their parents’ authority may meet with roadblocks when they apply to colleges. The homeschooling community looks forward to the day that homeschoolers will be wholeheartedly welcomed into all colleges, but for now this is not so. It may take more work on the part of the student to earn college admission. Each college has its own admission requirements, but by far the high school transcript is the most important required document across the board. For those parents who have chosen to “go it alone” the high school transcript may be the most daunting of their responsibilities.

There is, however, a compromise for even the most independent homeschoolers. Families can hire a professional record-keeper. Usually included in the list of services offered by these professionals is academic advisement. These record-keepers are educated in state requirements and can guide families in making choices that will keep them on the right path toward high school graduation. Of course, there is a cost involved in receiving professional help. The cost, however, should not be as much as enrollment in an accredited program. Some of these record-keepers offer personal consultations and ongoing personal advisement throughout the high school grades. They may teach the parents how to keep their own records or they may ask the parent to submit grades and course descriptions in order to create the transcripts themselves. This path does not lead to a diploma from an accredited school, and the student may be left open to questions and scrutiny. However, as the homeschooling movement grows and as homeschooling becomes more accepted as a legitimate form of education, homeschooled graduates will be increasingly welcomed into all institutions of higher education. Prospective employers will appreciate the dedication, diligence, and level of knowledge of hardworking homeschool graduates.

Homeschoolers indeed have many decisions to make on behalf of their children, but making the decision to homeschool is a great first step for any family who wants to help their children succeed in life.

Deterioration of Family in America

Wed, 8 Apr 2009 13:15:00 -0500

At what point in American history did spending time with family become a bad thing? In today's society, it is the accepted norm for kids, especially teenagers, to not want to spend time with their parents or siblings. In tv families, parents are portrayed as stupid and clueless. They have their own interests, activities, and groups of friends that are totally separate from their children's. It seems that parents have no idea what their kids are doing, who their friends are, what they're learning about in school. As long as grades are okay and there seem to be no major problems parents pretty much stay out of their children's lives.

Kids are viewed as somehow wiser than their parents and more knowledgeable in just about every area. Kids turn to parents only in desperate situations when they can't fix a problem by themselves or with the help of a few of their friends. At what point between the time of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Hannah Montana did kids become smarter than parents?

When did family time become a bad thing? It seems to me that all time used to be family time because kids learned from parents, worked with parents, ate with parents. And siblings were playmates. Families celebrated together, mourned together, and supported one another. Was there one event in history that caused family life to change?

How about the creation and rise of public schooling? Public schools took children away from their parents for hours during the day. They were put together with other children, forming peer groups. Parents gave up much of their responsibility to teach and discipline their own children, leaving that to public school teachers.

What about mothers working outside the home? Kids began coming home from school to an empty house. Parents gave up even more control and responsibility to schools and to television. Because parents didn't have enough time at home with their children, morality and character had to be taught at school. Kids coming home and turning on the television in the afternoon meant that television had to also take some responsibility in child training. All kinds of afterschool programs began to pop up to help parents with child rearing. In these programs, kids began spending even more time with peers. In fact, kids were spending most of their time with other kids their same age. Is this when kids got together and decided that they were smarter than parents? And because parents weren't around the kids that much, did the parents not even notice what was going on?

What do you think statistics would show if we examined families with stay-at-home moms or families that homeschool? My guess is that we would find less divorce, less adultery, stronger families. I also suspect that there would be less alcohol and drug abuse, less tobacco use, and less delinquency in the children.

Getting families to transform from the Ingalls family to today's tv families was a slow process. Getting families back to where they should be will be a slow process as well. It will take a lot of work, a lot of prayer, and a really big God. Christian families will need to lead the pilgrimage. That means Christian families might need to rethink their priorities, their lifestyles, their ideals. Since we do have a very big God, a very big responsibility sits on the shoulders of those who proclaim Him Lord of all.

Working Mom

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:40:00 -0500

When my husband and I got married, I was in my 3rd year of teaching and he was in his 4th year as an engineer for a local manufacturer. We weren't rich by any stretch of the imagination, but we had plenty. We have said more than once since that time that we wish we would have put more money into savings for the future. Instead of saving, we ate out at least twice a week. I bought pretty much whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it.

My husband began to see signs of trouble in his company and when he was offered a position in a company on the other side of the state, he just couldn't let it pass by. We had just found out that we were expecting our first child and we had only been in our new house for 6 months. We put our house on the market, packed up, and moved. I did not have any doubts about finding a teaching position. Teachers could find work anywhere.

Well, I didn't find a position right away. When I was finally offered a position (sight unseen), it was at a public junior high school in a very tough part of town. When my husband inquired with his coworkers about this particular school, they all agreed that they would never have their wives working there. It was too dangerous. So, I began looking at private schools.

I was called in for an interview with the headmaster at a Christian private school. My tummy had grown quite a bit by that point and it was obvious that I was expecting. The headmaster asked what I planned to do when the baby was born. I told him that I intended to put the baby in daycare and continue on with my career. That didn't seem to sit well with the headmaster. Before I left his office, I knew where he stood on the topic of working mothers of young children. I don't think he ever had any intention of hiring me once he realized I was expecting.

Before our son was born, I did take a long-term substitute teaching position, and I was actually needed longer than I was able to stay. Times were tough with buying a higher priced home and having a baby to care for on one income. But, you know what? We did it. We never lacked anything we needed. We learned to cut some corners and live more frugally. We even used cloth diapers to save money. By the time I could have gone back to work, we had already realized that I didn't have to work. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my baby boy with someone else all day long.

That was over 16 years ago and I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since. It's the best career I could have ever had. If I had it to do over again, I would major in home economics instead of English. That would have been more practical; however, I do use my English teacher knowledge a lot in homeschooling.

I might get back to my career after my children leave home, but something tells me that I'll probably have other interests by then.

Teaching Tunes

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 19:30:00 -0600

Teaching Tunes

16 years ago my husband and I were blessed with a little boy. We named him Christopher. After my initial concern for getting Christopher to sleep occasionally, I began focusing on other issues such as – How will Christopher ever learn to spell his name? Do you know how many letters are in the name Christopher? Way too many for any little fella to remember in order. I was concerned that Christopher would be the only child in his kindergarten Sunday school class who couldn’t spell his name. He was less than 2 years old at the time, but we moms who want only the absolute utmost for our firstborns have to plan ahead for these kinds of things. Well, I set to work trying to figure out how to deal with this dilemma.

I remembered that as a student I would frequently have difficult things to memorize. Oftentimes I would put those things to music—nothing fancy, just a short little childhood tune. I was already very familiar with the songs, so it was easier for me to remember facts that I set to those tunes. This method helped me remember such things as important dates, world events, vocabulary words, parts of the body, etc. You get the picture. I even took that method with me to college working on my undergraduate and graduate degrees. I usually studied by myself so I didn’t disturb anyone else while singing my little ditties. “But what about the test over the material?” you ask. Well, one of my other hidden talents is humming in my head. No one had a clue what I was doing. But I do remember getting a few strange looks when I bobbed my head to the silent tune. (Yet another argument for homeschooling: Chances are no one is watching , so homeschoolers can bob their heads all they want — OR even sing out loud!)

Anyway, I figured if that method worked for me, it might work for Christopher. So I set about putting his name to music. “Christopher” doesn’t fit well with most children’s songs. I went through lots of familiar tunes, and finally I remembered the song from The Mickey Mouse Club. You remember — the song that the kids sang at the beginning of the show while wearing their Mickey Mouse ears (I’m not sure how to spell “mouseketeers,” but that’s what they were). Many of you will have to do an Internet search to find out what in the world I’m talking about. Trust me; it was a real show.

Getting back to my point: “Christopher” fit perfectly to that tune.
I was so proud of myself! I went and sang it for my husband, and I sang it for my friends, and I sang it for my mother and my sister... And then I sang it to Christopher, too. Here’s how it goes:

C-h-r-i-s-t-o-p-h-e-r.
Christopher, Christopher.
That is how we spell Christopher.
C-h-r-i-s-t-o-p-h-e-r.

OK, so I’m not Barry Manilow. The point is that it’s catchy and easy to learn. Christopher caught on quickly. I proudly made Christopher perform his name song for the nursery workers in the toddler room. He was just going into the 2-year-old class. Hey, how many kids do you know who can spell their names at 2 — much less spell Christopher? (He’s going on 16 now, so I don’t make him sing his name song any more.)

Fast forward 2½ years. A little brother joined Christopher. We named him Nicholas. We really liked the 3-syllable names. I set about creating a name song for Nicholas. I don’t think Nicholas could sing his name song at 2, but that was because he always had that “boppy” hanging out of his mouth. (That’s another issue for discussion.) But, he did know how to spell his name well before he started kindergarten. Here’s how his name song goes. It’s to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” Everyone sing along with me.

N-i-c-h-o-l-a-s
Nicholas, Nicholas.
He loves to make a mess.

N-i-c-h-o-l-a-s
Nicholas, Nicholas.
He never likes to rest.

I put this song in 3rd person, because remember — Nicholas wasn’t the one singing at first due to his pacifier obsession. (He’s over that now.)

Five years later, Rebecca joined us. (We had to stick with the 3-syllable trend we had started.) Rebecca liked to sing her name song. Here’s how it goes. It’s set to the tune of “Ten Little Indians.”

R-e-b-e-c-c-a
I’m Rebecca, and I’m here to say
R-e-b-e-c-c-a
What a happy day!

Were you singing along that time?

It was at this point that we decided to homeschool our children. It occurred to me that I could really put anything I wanted to remember to music — or rather, wanted my children to remember. I started with days of the week, months, and the five senses. Then I branched out to the fruit of the Spirit and colors in their natural order. I was really onto something. Hey, what about other stuff I wanted the kids to know? What about abstract concepts? Yep. It works for everything! Kids can learn just about anything as long as it rhymes and is set to music. Just think about how long it takes your kids to pick up songs they hear on the radio or commercial jingles from TV. Why do companies use catchy jingles to sell their products, anyway? Because we get the jingles stuck in our heads and go around singing them (sometimes even when we’re not really impressed with the product and intend never to spend money on it). How many of you can still sing the Oscar Meyer song or the Burger King “Have it Your Way” song? Well, you get the point. I want my kids to remember important stuff, not just the theme songs from their favorite shows. Can I hear an “Amen!”

Have fun singing with your kids. Who knows – you might find out that you have the next American Idol living right in your own home. It could happen ... but if it does please let me know.

Here’s a sampling of some of the teaching tunes I have used.

5 Senses (“B-I-N-G-O” tune)

I have five senses God gave me.
Have you heard of such?
Hear, see, smell, taste, touch;
Hear, see, smell, taste, touch;
Hear, see, smell, taste, touch.
Have you heard of such?

Colors (“Ten Little Indians” tune)

Red and orange and yellow and green;
Blue and Indigo and violet I’ve seen
Arching over the mountain and tree-
God made a promise to you and me.

Months (“Mulberry Bush” tune)

January, February,
March and April,
May and June,
July and August,
September, October,
November, December –
12 months in a year.

Depression: The Misunderstood Illness

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 19:27:00 -0600

I am convinced that depression is one of the most misunderstood illnesses. Depression is not a feeling. Oftentimes people describe themselves as being depressed—“I am so depressed”—when what they really mean is that they’re bored, bummed out, disappointed, or one of a whole host of other feelings. Depression is an illness; it often is the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. I don’t believe that depression is a mental illness. It is a physical illness. I know I may be skating on thin ice here, but what I’m saying is from personal experience.

Before I was diagnosed with clinical depression, I had lost the ability to enjoy just about anything. To others I’m sure I appeared sad, but actually I felt almost nothing. I had lost my joy. Now, you might be thinking, “Well, that sounds like spiritual warfare. You just let Satan steal your joy.” Spiritual warfare may have been involved, but it was more than that. Depression—for me—is a physical illness that manifests itself outwardly as deep sadness. It keeps me from enjoying my life. It keeps me from doing things I usually enjoy doing.

Depression can go hand-in-hand with a myriad of other illnesses—fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, cancer, irritable bowel syndrome, etc. Unfortunately, all too often, folks see the person who is ill as simply feeling sorry for herself. Shortly after I was diagnosed with clinical depression and had just begun my treatment, I went to the altar for prayer at a church service. A wise older woman, a leader in the church, was at the altar to pray with those in need. I explained to her that I had been dealing with depression and I needed prayer. She told me that depression is a sin and that I needed to repent and ask for God’s forgiveness. Had I been a younger Christian, newer in my walk with Christ, and had I not researched as much as I had about depression, this could have been quite damaging for me to hear. I am afraid this scenario happens all too often within the church.

After I began taking medication for my depression, I felt so much better. I felt like my real self again—almost immediately. My husband and close friends recognized the change in me right away. I think my children did too (they were tired of “grumpy Mom”). It took a while longer for me to be diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but taking care of the depression allowed us to see my underlying symptoms.

If you have been diagnosed with any type of chronic illness, including depression, please educate yourself. Read as much as you can about the illness. Talk with other patients about their experiences. Talk with your children about what is going on; help them to understand your symptoms. And grow thick skin. There are many well-meaning people out there who can say hurtful things and not even realize it. Sometimes we need to educate others about our illnesses. That may be the only way to keep other people from being truly damaged by well-meaning, misinformed advisers.

If you’re feeling down, maybe you just need to get out and do something fun. If you’re feeling blue, you might just need to watch a funny movie. But if you’ve really lost the ability to enjoy things you used to enjoy, and you can’t seem to “snap out of it,” see your doctor. Depression is a physical illness, and it needs to be treated medically. “There is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

Stressful Times

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:13:00 -0600

I find myself during the holiday season every year feeling stressed out. I can tell by the way I bite my kids' heads off, constantly berate them for not doing what I think they should be doing, and, in general, cause everyone around me to become as grumpy as I am. I focus on the mess and clutter in my house and wonder out loud how anyone can stand to sit and play video games in the middle of a family room that resembles a warzone. And what about the nasty dishes that everyone leaves for the "kitchen fairy" to fly by and take care of? I can feel the tension taking over just thinking about it. Well, you get the idea. If you are totally not relating to any of this, then you might want to just skip the rest of this article. You will find it extremely boring.

My favorite scripture is Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path." I believe this with all my heart, with every fiber of my being. My head and my heart both know that God is in complete control, but my body still goes haywire. My body reacts quite negatively to stressful situations. All of my energy is sucked out of me. My muscles tense up and ache. My digestive system misbehaves. My immune system goes into hiding. I've never been able to figure out how to tell my body not to react to stressful situations. For those of us who constantly battle with illness, stess can just make everything doubly difficult..

This year it seems that I have more stressors to cope with than usual. My husband found out last week that his company is closing down, which means that he will lose his job. He is our sole provider. We count on his paycheck and insurance coverage. (I work also, but I don't get paid for any of it.) We have 3 teenagers in our home and all the "stuff" that goes along with them. (I'm so thankful for my sweet 9-yr.-old.) I have a chronic illness that makes my health unpredictable. And then there's the economy!

Like I said before, I trust God to work all these things together for my good and for the good of my family, but my body just doesn't seem to get it. On top of that, this whole thing has a snowball effect: I'm stressed, so I'm sick. I'm sick, so I'm stressed.

Okay. Here's my plan of action. I'm going to read and think about God's promises. I'm going to take deep breaths. I'm going to drink chamomile tea. I'm going to stretch. I'm going to look for the positives in my kids. I'm going to ask my family nicely to help pick up around the house. I'm going to laugh. And I'm going to thank God for every blessing in my life.