Three Little Jewells - Homeschool Blogger

I've moved....

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 07:48:00 -0500

I've Moved!

My new blog is THREE LITTLE JEWELLS . Come visit me there! I'm back to posting regularly again and will have a new post up later on today. For those of you who've had trouble with this site loading so slowly, etc. the new site is much faster and easier.

I'm in the process of having all of the content from this site transferred over there. Hopefully in the next two weeks the blog will be completely moved.

See you there!

Q & A

Wed, 2 Jul 2008 16:30:00 -0500

Questions and Answers:

I've had some questions sent to me, prior to my closing of the comments, that I thought I'd answer publically since several people have asked.

1. Why Did We Sell Our Previous Home and Move? Well, this is a many part answer.

#1: The most important reason that we moved when we did was because the huge tract of land across the street was sold and being developed into an apartment complex. This was going to mean lots of noise and construction for a year or more and then a LOT of increased driving traffic and foot traffic. We had loved how quiet our little deadend street was and that was quickly going to end.

#2: As much as we loved our street and neighbors, Mary was the first baby born in 20 years or so on the street.   Because we plan to homeschool, we really wanted to be in a neighborhood where there would be other kids around to play with- at least in the afternoons.

#3: Our house was plenty big enough for us and the two babies- BUT- we knew we wanted at least four children and we knew we planned on homeschooling so we felt that in the long run, the house wasn't going to work for us.   We bought our current house with those criteria in mind- we plan to stay here for the rest of our lives. There's four bedrooms- ours, and we plan to have a girls room, a boys room and a guest bedroom. We have large bonus room over the garage that we will eventually turn into a homeschool room.

#4. In hindsight, we can see how God really was working in our move. Thank the LORD that we moved when we did. About two months after we moved, we went back to our old house to get my great grandmother's rose bush. The new owners had allowed us to leave it until we were settled in and it was a better time to transplant it. SO- anyway, we went back to get the rose bush and the wife asked us if we moved because of the neighbor??? We had no clue what she was talking about. It seems that right after we moved out our elderly neighbors had gone to Las Vegas and allowed their son to move into their home. Their son who is a convicted pedophile and just got out of a 20 year prison sentence.

I am so thankful that we moved when we did- I would have felt like a prisoner in our home with him across the street- I would have felt like the kids couldn't be outside, etc. ugh, ugh, ugh.   SO GLAD we moved!

2. Why Don't I Nurse The Baby Anymore? Unfortunately my milk dried up. I was able to nurse for nine months but was getting nothing by the end. I was very disappointed. Savvy was also increasingly not interested.   I've heard of babies self-weaning and that seems to be a part of it. She also seems less and less interested in the bottle lately so she may be weaning herself from that as well.

3. Do I cloth diaper? Ummm, no. Honestly, it's just something that never appealed to me. I never even considered it. But then, lately I've been reading about it on Emily and Sarah's blogs and I've been reconsidering it.   I may do it the next time around.   I could even try switching now as I've still got another year of Savvy in diapers. We'll see. I'm thinking about it.

4. Do I have a favorite child?   huh. weird question.   Anyway. It's funny because over the past few months I've been accused of favoring Mary over the others, Nathan over the others and most recently Savvy over the others. I'm taking it as a good sign that someone thinks each one of the kids is favored. people are strange.

Changes.

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 16:58:00 -0500

Hey Guys...

I'm making some changes-

First, I've acquired a nasty troll or two so for now I'm closing all comments.

Secondly, I'm in the process of moving to a new host and it's taking me some time to figure it all out, set it up, etc.

I will be posting again regularly soon. Thanks for being patient!

Pictures, June 2008

Thu, 3 Jul 2008 06:58:00 -0500

ETA: I just received Savvy's birthday presents from Oompa. The presents that I ordered on Monday and thought might take a while to get here. Did I mention I also got free shipping? Oompa ROCKS.

And the Creanimaux blocks I ordered? They were the thing I was the least sure about and they are so *awesome*. Bigger than I anticipated, beautiful color. They're just gorgeous. I'm soooo glad I got them- I think they're perfect for a First Birthday gift. I'm thrilled with the walker/stroller we got as well. It's hard to believe she's only 1 month and 10 days away from being a year old....

June Pictures

First time in her "BIG" carseat!

Nathan, holding a picture of Kip as a little kid- about 12 months old I think. Nathan is "little Kip"- they look soooo much alike!

What I Should Have Said

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:24:00 -0500

Let Me Try This Again...

I think I hurt some feelings with this post so I want to elaborate a little on what I was trying to say.

Again, if you are working because you love to work and you can't imagine not working and it's what you and your husband have decided works best for your family then GREAT.

BUT, if you're working and think you can't afford to stay home but you would like to, then this post is for you. :)

I used to watch this tv show called Starting Over that certainly had it's cheesy moments but I did learn something valuable that I still use today. One of the life coaches had a term she used "awfulizing"- when there's a big decision to be made and we're paralyzed by indecision because of fear of the unknown- you know- what might happen, etc. she would say to "awfulize" the situation. Go through all the worse case scenarios that could happen and come up with a plan for how you would handle it if it did actually arise.    I do this often now, when I'm afraid of making a decision about something big- I awfulize it- play out in my mind all the scenarios that could happen and how I would handle them. And somehow, it makes it easer to decide once I've done that.

SO- If you're afraid to stay home because you think you may not be able to afford it, think about this-

There are essentially four scenarios that could happen (that I can think of)

#1. You could continue working and realize that you love it and don't want to be home with your children.

#2. You could decide to stay at home and realize that you really do love it and that somehow the money works itself out and everything is just fine.

#3. You could give up all kinds of things- your job, 2nd car, internet, cell phone, cable, etc. to stay at home and end up hating it.

#4. You could continue working and wish you could stay at home.

Now, scenarios #1 and #2 are obviously ideal so not worth talking about.   Let's awfulize #3 and #4.

#3. You could give up all kinds of things- your job, 2nd car, internet, cell phone, cable, etc. to stay at home and end up hating it.

Quit your job to stay at home- you could get another job if you decided you didn't like being at home or couldn't find a way to work out the money.

Give up your cell phone and get a track phone or have no phone-   you could get another cell phone if you went back to work.

Sell your second car or trade down so that you don't have a car payment- if you went back to work you could get a car again or trade up again for a nicer car.

Internet, cable tv, tivo- you could get all that back with a phone call and it would be reconnected in no time.

#4. You could continue working and wish you could stay at home.

See, here's the problem. When you awfulize #3- you can get back everything you gave up if you want to.    If you quit your job to stay at home even though you can't really afford to do so- if you cancel cable, internet, cellphones, sell the car, live off Ramen Noodles- whatever- you can get it all back if you decide in hindsight that you've made a mistake.

But, if you take scenario #4, and you look back down the road and say you know- in hindsight, I should have made the leap to stay home, regardless of finances. You can't get that time back. Your baby is gone.   The time is gone and you can never get it back. There's no do-overs.

I just peeked in the living room and do you know what I saw? my baby- my long, long awaited for baby who was just born yesterday??? She's 4 1/2 on her way to being 5 years old.    How did that happen?

I'm so glad not to have missed it- I want to be here when she skins her knees or has questions about God or says all the funny things that little kids do. I don't want to miss those things because she's at day care and I'm at work.

And I don't want you to miss it either, if you really desire to be at home.

Please, hear my heart here- I am not coming from a place of condemnation- I really want to encourage those of you who want to stay home with your babies/children and think you can't afford it- TRY IT! You'll be surprised at all the ways you'll save money by being at home and all the things that you really won't miss much if you give them up.

Below are some some links about finances, staying home, frugal living:
The Benefits of Money Management
Mommy Savers
Mommy Savers Forum
Dollar Stretcher
Mom Advice
Frugal Village Forum
Hot Coupon World
Frugal Hacks A huge list of blogs that focus on frugal living
Frugal Homemaker
Money Saving Mom
Living On A Dime

NOTE: Now, I got a call after the last post on this topic from a friend who thought I was talking to her. Lest anyone think this post is directed at YOU, know that I know lots of working moms and I'm not speaking to anyone in particular. I wrote this post and the previous one because I hear working moms tell me all the time that they wish they could stay home but feel that they can't afford it. And I really want to help them see that, with rare exception, you CAN afford it if you are willing to live on less. And ladies?? trust me- it's so worth it. If given the choice between the higher standard of living I had when we both worked and going without to stay home with the children??? It's no contest which is more rewarding. I'm so glad that I took a chance and quit even though we "couldn't afford it". Love to you all. kj

Savvy's Birthday Gifts

Tue, 1 Jul 2008 21:11:00 -0500

It's hard to believe but Savvy's First Birthday will be in just six short weeks.   I went ahead and ordered her birthday gifts today. Most of it is coming from the West Coast area and I know that shipping coming from West of the Mississippi River has been slowed down due to flooding.    Six weeks should be plenty of time for everything to arrive though.

I ordered her this beautiful "Heavy Baby" from Joy's Waldorf Dolls.   They smell heavenly and the weight of the doll is nice. We got the 12" doll in lavender.

Here's the description: Used therapeutically worldwide, a weighted doll has a settling and reassuring quality. Heavy Baby is a weighted, rounded bottom (no legs), bunting style baby which makes it ideal for the young child. Filled with millet, and made with all natural fibers, it will bring a subtle quality of weight and warmth to the child who plays with it. Heavy Baby is just right for the youngster who needs to "Lug", or for the child who needs extra sensory attention and just a lovely doll to simply hold and pats it's bottom. This is truly an archetypal "Waldorf Doll" worthy of any child or adult.

I've had this in mind for months- it's the HABA Doll Pram- I love that it's all natural wood so no worries about chemicals, stains, paint, etc. It can be used as a doll stroller, a walker or just a wagon to haul things.   It's very sturdy.   Not crazy about the blue pillows though. I'm going to search around for some nice pink, girly type fabric and then take the pillows and fabric to the most excellent tailor/sewer person in the world- Mr. Nadir. I'll have him make a slip cover with a zipper closure for it.

I also ordered her these HABA Creanimaux Blocks, both sets- I thought ALL the kids would enjoy them and they would last for years and years. We allready have a set of regular blocks but I think this set will be a fun addition.

Lastly, I ordered Savvy this little Chelona Wooden Book- so many of our board books have really gotten mangled. I can read them to the baby but she really can't have them to play with herself- they just get chewed on and ruined.   So, I got her a book that she can have and play with and there's no worries about it being chewed to death. Also, all natural so no worries about stains, chipping paint, lead or other nasty chemicals.

Beach Pictures

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:14:00 -0500

Beach Pictures...
or, another picture heavy post!

We have good friends who's family owns a house in North Myrtle Beach. We were blessed with an invitation to join them for Memorial Day Weekend. We left the Wednesday before and came back Memorial Day Monday. The trip was essentially free other than gas.

They have a 4yo, 3yo, 20mo, and 5 mo. so we had quite the household of little kids when you added in our 4yo, 3yo, 10mo.    7 kids age 4 and under. Much fun.

Here's Nathan as we were getting ready to go.

The five "BIG" kids- Nathan (3), Mary (4), D (20mo), L (4) and B (3)   ready to hit the beach!

Savvy- all ready to go for her first time out to the beach!

Mary Madison

Nathan and Mary spent a lot of time filling up buckets and hauling them...

Savvy, just awake from her morning nap on the beach.

Nathan working in his sand castle

Nathan examining a shell he found.

Working in their sand castle.

On the last day we were there we took a big Watermelon down to the beach with us. Nathan helicoptered around it all morning just waiting for the adults to cut it. He ate several pieces and when the last of the watermelon was gone, he took off with his final two pieces. He climbed in this big bucket we had and hunkered down with his watermelon. This is all we saw of him for the next TWO hours.

Picture Heavy Post

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:17:00 -0500

Fair Warning to those with dialup- Lots of pictures in this post!

New HighChair- I've been meaning to post this for a while. I'm SO in love with our new highchair. It's the Space Saver High Chair by Fisher Price and it's pretty awesome. It's basically a regular high chair seat without the legs. This is great if you have a small kitchen/eat in area like we do- the high chair sits on one of the chairs for our table. It's so nice because we don't have to deal with yet another piece of baby gear taking up space. love, love, love it.

Here's the stock picture of it:

And Savvy in it today, at lunch time:

ohmyword- have you ever seen a cuter baby?

Oh! And the most awesome bib she's wearing? It's from my good friend Terri- here's her Etsy shop- Abigail's Hope    Terri is our Sunday School Teacher's wife and mama to three big boys and Abby, who is Mary's age.   Her bibs are the best I've ever owned!

Some pictures from Today:

The kids did play-doh this morning.

Mary's Play-Doh Snowman.

This little boy was mischievous today so he spent some time sitting where I could keep an eye on him.

I recently had this picture of Kip framed for him- it's Kip when he was about 12 months old.   Nathan is the carbon copy of his Dad.

After Lunch Clean Up Duty- Mary rinsing the dishes while I load them in the dishwasher.

Nathan clearing the table.

Pictures from the last two weeks

Puddy, holding her bottle- sortof.

Paradise. I love our backyard.   It's big without being overwhelmingly huge. It's shaded the majority of the day so even on the hottest days the kids can play outside.   And there's plenty of fun stuff to play out there.   The horse came from craigslist, my Dad got them the teeter-totter, etc.

I had some leftover birthday money so I got the kids this awesome stomp rocket. Man this thing is cool- we all have fun with it.

We got this Spaghetti Splasher for $10 from Hearthsong and it is awesome. I've spent more than that on a sprinkler from Wal-Mart and it never worked. This was a great deal for $10. The kids played in it everyday last week when it was so hot out.

Savvy watching the big kids play in the sprinkler from the safety of her swing. She HATES having a bath so I somehow doubt she'd enjoy the sprinkler much.

First time in her big car seat!

My Thoughts on "Where Do Feminists Come Up With This Stuff?"

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:16:00 -0500

My Thoughts on "Where Do Feminists Come Up With This Stuff?"

I've been sitting on the previous post for a month or more, trying to decide whether or not to post it, knowing that it was sure to offend at least one or two people I know IRL. But then, I thought- #1- it's my blog and #2- I've certainly read things on others blogs that offended me and I didn't stop reading or work myself into a huff over their opinions. So, I decided to go ahead and post it.

I've been thinking about why that blog post in particular struck such a chord with me. I think it's because of a recurring phrase I hear from working women and if I've heard one woman say it to me then I've heard 30 women say it-

I can't afford to stay home. It must be so nice that your husband makes such a good income- I'd love to stay home but my husband doesn't make enough money.

Or some variation thereof. Always the same theme- I'd love to stay home but we don't make enough money.     You don't really understand our financial situation because your husband must make more than mine does.

Before I even get started on that, I am SURE that this is true of some women. If this is true for you then there's no need to get worked up into a huff about what I'm about to say.

Here's what I've seen or heard lately:

I can't afford to stay home.   Driving a new car, taking frequent weekend vacations.

I can't afford to stay home. Thinking about selling their home and trading up for a bigger house, bigger yard.

I can't afford to stay home. Lives about a 30 minute drive from town. Drives in to town at least once a day, often two or three times a day because she "forgot" something, "needs" xyz today, etc.

I can't afford to stay home. Spends a crazy amount of money in each week on groceries but won't plan a menu or do once-a-week grocery shopping (both of which would probably save her several hundred dolllars a month) because it's "not her style".

I can't afford to stay home. Her husband is a teacher. They have two cars, internet, TIVO, cell phones, etc. (they have one child) All nice things but not necessities.   I have another friend who's husband is also a teacher and she stays home with their four children. It's very tight, they go without lots of extras, but they make it work.   Her husband probably makes $2300 a month after taxes (guessing here, based on what I know about Guilford County Teacher pay) and they find a way for her to stay home with FOUR children.   Pretty impressive.

I guess it BUGS me to hear women say these things to me as if I'm living some sort of privileged life. I go without LOTS of things so we can afford for me to be at home.   Here's just a few of the things I often go without so I can stay home- I've included what I know about a couple of IRL friends who stay home as well:

I drive a 2001 van. It's seven years old. I plan to drive it a looong time unless something happens.   Would I like a new car? Sure, it'd be nice.   But you know what's nicer- no car payment so I can afford to stay home.

My IRL friend has one car for their family which her husband drives to work most days. If she needs the car that day she has to get up early, load all three kids in the car and drive him to work. Most days she is without a car.   But she gets to stay home.

We rarely eat out other than Tuesday night pizza at Mario's.

We do have cable but it's only basic cable. No extended cable, tivo, etc.   If we needed to, I'd get rid of cable and switch to a cheap Trac Fone if it would ease the budget. cIt might seem like a small thing but cutting out cable, expensive cell phone plans, etc. will really add up.

One of the things I miss about working days is an unlimited grocery budget. I went to the store whenever I wanted to and bought whatever I wanted.   Menu planning and shopping once-a-week really has saved us thousands of dollars.   When I first started menu planning 4-5 years ago, we were spending $900-$1100 a month on groceries. Within a few months of doing menus I had it down to $400 a month.   Even now, with grocery prices sky rocketing, we spend $700 a month- that includes diapers, formula, dog and cat food, all paper products and drug store items, OTC meds and food.   Plus, I'm feeding a family of 5 instead of 2 or 3.

I consolidate errands and only go into town twice a week. Tuesday nights for pizza and usually one other day. With gas prices going through the roof, there have been months where I only had enough cash set aside for 2 tanks of gas. For a month.   This means I need to stay home most of the time.

I lived in our previous home for seven years before moving to our new home. This was the house that my husband and his first wife lived in.   It never really felt like "my" home. Kip had lived there for 20 years. It was the house he picked out.    But I stayed because staying there meant we could put our money towards paying down debts and later, it meant I could stay home.

I have a very limited amount of spending money each week.   I rarely have new clothes. We don't take hardly any vacations or weekend get-aways. I drive a very used car. I stay home, literally, instead of going out as much as I'd like to.   I scrimp on our grocery money. If I had to, I'd cancel cable, cancel my cell phone, sell my car, whatever it took to stay home. The thing is- if you look at our finances on paper- we can't afford for me to stay home.   But we make it work because it is a priority above ALL other things- above vacations, cars, new clothes, spending money, restaurants.

I used to be a preschool teacher at Primrose. I'll never forget this one woman- the mother of one of the children in my class. You know what she said to me? "I know that it would probably be best for T. if I stayed home but we've just gotten used to a certain standard of living and I don't want to go without.". Wow.   11 years later I can still remember her saying that.

If you're working because you WANT to work and you love it and can't imagine not working and it's what you and your husband have decided it's what works for YOUR family than that's great. More power to you. I know some women who outright say so and for that I have a certain admiration.

But if you're working and telling me you want to stay at home and can't afford it- well, in most cases, I'm just annoyed.    Because you know what? We can't afford it either.

Flickr Mosaic

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:10:00 -0500

Here's my Flickr Mosaic:

1. Grevillea Ned Kelly with native bee, 2. "La mia casa è il mare e con un fiume no, non la posso cambiare", 3. Sunrise Retirement, 4. So long, 5. he dreamed of a celestial pie, 6. Winter had a bad hair day., 7. El baño, 8. Apple Pie, 9. "Are we not like two volumes of one book?", 10. brazilian children's day, 11. SPLASH!, 12. it's time to stop building the rotastak cage now

From Heather:

The concept:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker).

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name .

I'm Back!

Fri, 6 Jun 2008 07:53:00 -0500

I'm Back!

I apologize for the extended break. It's been a busy two weeks for us. We had family come for an unexpected, but very welcome, visit. We left for a five day vacation at North Myrtle Beach and I didn't want to advertise to the whole wide world that we were going on vacation and leaving an empty house.   Since we got back we've been setting the house back to order, starting some more formalized homeschooling and been busy with company of some sort for two or three days!

Savannah's had some big moments these past few weeks.

Thursday, 5/22: First time at the beach!   I think she enjoyed it mostly. She liked being outside and the sound of the wind and waves and other people around. It was hard on her though because it really disrupted her morning nap.   She usually naps from 9am-11am and we were heading out to the beach sometime between 9 and 10. So we'd keep her up until we got out there and then I'd sit in a chair and hold her up on my shoulder while she cat napped for 30-45 minutes.   She took GREAT afternoon naps. :)

Tuesday, 5/27: Rolled over from back to stomach. She'd been rolling stomach to back for a while.   Now that's she's rolling all over the place, we've got to start being more careful about keeping the big kids toys picked up off the floor.

Also on Tuesday 5/27: 9 Month Appointment.   She was in the 75% for height and only the 10-20% for weight. She weighed 16 lbs. 12 oz.   The doctor says she looks great and to just be super careful about what she's eating since we already KNOW that she's allergic to oatmeal and cigarette smoke.   We're suspicious that there may be some other food allergies/sensitivities.

Wednesday 6/4: First day in her big car seat.   She's really outgrown the carrier so we put her in the awesome Triumph seat we have.   It used to be Nathan's but he got waaay to big for it so we bought him a Britax. The Triumph is perfect for smaller kids- very cushy and I love how much it reclines- it's much more comfortable than the carrier, especially for long drives.    With a camping trip coming up soon and a 5-6 hour trip out to Emerald Isle at the end of the summer, it'll be nice to have her in this as opposed to the carrier.   Pictures coming soon.

LINKS

For Those Of You Who Missed TOM CRUISE on Oprah by BOSSY is the FUNNIEST thing I've seen or read in ages. I think it ties for first place with my favorite BooMama post on Mama and the Fish Camp.

The Story of a Friendship by Et Tu? is an amazing read. As curmudgenly as I can be, I so hope I would have the grace to behave as this lady did.   Inspiring.

Pictures coming soon! I ran down both camera batteries while we were at the beach so I've got to charge them (one is finished, the other is charging right now), download and organize all pictures and then upload the ones I want to post on the blog to photobucket.    (SIDE NOTE TO EMILY/SARAH- have you guys got a better way of posting pictures than photobucket??? It takes me forever to post pictures)

Side Note:
And, can I just say, that while I normally avoid any political blogging, I'm so disappointed Hillary Clinton dropped out of the race.   I love Obama.   Like Carletta, "I...have a talk with myself about why I wasn't supporting Obama. Um... He's against everything you stand for" because he's just so darn likable and charming and emanates hope and change.    But equally as much as I like Obama, I want to see a woman as President.   And I'm disappointed in won't happen this time around.    Plus, as a die-hard Republican, I think with Obama on the Democratic ticket, we're sunk. I believe that he is almost unbeatable.   Clinton we might have had a chance of beating but I don't think the same is true of Obama.

Bloggy Break

Tue, 20 May 2008 07:30:00 -0500

I'm going to be taking a break for the next week or two. We're exhausted after our week of parties last week. We've got family coming in town tonight and I just got all of Mary and Nathan's school books in for next year so I need to go through and get organized. Plus, I've got some house projects I need to work on.

I'll be back sometime next week!

Some random pictures for your enjoyment!

Nathan- Easter 2006, about 15 months old.

Mary, Easter 2006   2 years, 3 months old.

Mary, Spring 2006

Nathan's First Haircut          LOOK at those curls!

And last, but certainly not least, Savvy at just a few days old. Sweetest baby on the planet.   We love puddin'.

My Birthday

Thu, 15 May 2008 07:26:01 -0500

Yesterday was my birthday and can I just say I had one of the best birthdays yet!

#1: We stayed home all day long and after the week we've had, I really needed that.

#2: Kip got me just what I wanted. A new, tiny, purple, Coolpix camera! We have a nice big camera that's great for all kinds of special shots but not so great for taking places. It's so big and bulky and it's expensive so Kip wants it in the camera bag when we take it anywhere and honestly, I'm already carrying a purse and a diaper bag so the last thing I want to do is carry another bag.   HERE is the camera he got me. It is so cool- I love, love, love it!

#3: "The Children" got me this bluetooth thing that I put on the visor of my car and it tells me who is calling, etc. This I haven't really figured out yet but Kip is going to set it up for me this weekend.

#4. Okay, you all know that Kip's mom didn't like me and made it pretty obvious that she felt that way. Now, honestly, I know she had a hard life and I don't think it was really about me, you know? I don't think she would have thought anyone was good enough for Kip. So whatever. All that to say, she certainly never did anything for my birthday other than give me $40 every year.   She didn't call me or we never went out to dinner or celebrated in any way.   Well, what a change this year! Carolyn (Kip's Dad is getting remarried to Carolyn! woohoo!) threw me a family birthday party last night! She made a fabulous dinner (a roast) and had a birthday cake made for me. I just could not believe it. She and Mel went to my favorite kitchen store (The Extra Ingredient for those who live in town) and bought me two Chantal Deep Dish Pie Plates in RED and this gorgeous cherry Lazy Susan Turntable that I've been wanting forever.   Her son and his wife and three kids came and gave me some gorgeous stationary with "K" on it.   Oh man, it was the best day!

It was such a great, great day. Carolyn is such a nice lady- not just because of the party but she's just so nice all around. I can't even begin to tell you the difference in Mel.   He's turned in to such a wonderful grandfather and he's so much nicer than I ever knew he was.   I love the difference she's making in this family. :)

Crazy Week

Saturday, 5/10: Went to friend's 40th Birthday party

Sunday, 5/11: Family party- my family came to celebrate my birthday and Mother's Day. We had a nice lunch and everyone stayed until 4pm. We left at 5pm because Kip wanted to take me out to dinner for Mother's Day and to buy Savvy's charm for my bracelet.

Monday, 5/12: My next-door-Neighbor turned 101 last Thursday! We threw her a surprise Birthday party and invited all the neighbors. MUCH fun.

Tuesday, 5/13: We went out with the Pace Family to Kabuto's to celebrate my birthday and Suzanne's birthday.

Wednesday, 5/14: My birthday, party at Carolyn's house.

Thursday and Friday we have off. whew.

Satuday, 5/17: We are hosting Family Supper Club this month. There will be four families here, including us. 14 children, 9 of which will be 4 years old and under. Should be a wild time.

Monday-Wednesday- family in town.

I'm looking forward to a little relaxation next week! The parties have been much fun but I'm ready for some quiet time at home.

Nine Months

Tue, 13 May 2008 07:47:00 -0500

NINE MONTHS. Nine months. I can't believe I made it that long! I was able to nurse Savvy for nine months!

For the last few months we dropped down to twice a day and then down to once a day, in the morning. Still, this is such an improvement over how it went with the last two experiences. With Mary, my milk dried up at four weeks and with Nathan at 2 1/2 months. I really hoped to be able to go longer with Savannah and I'm so thrilled we made it this far! I think today was the last day though. She's increasingly less interested every morning and my supply has dwindled to almost nothing.

Here's a few pictures of her from the past nine months.

Newborn, in the hospital.

A few weeks old- isn't she beautiful? One of my favorite pictures of her!

2 months old.

Easter- what a cutie!

A few days ago, playing Peek-A-Boo!

Hidden Sandwiches

Fri, 16 May 2008 07:18:00 -0500

Hidden Sandwiches

SO- the other day I went to change the toilet paper roll. I opened up the cabinet under the bathroom sink and what do I find? Not just a stash of toilet paper but also... a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich. No doubt from Nathan as he is A) a very slow eater and often is not finished with his lunch even after 45 minutes and B) Mary snarfs down her sandwich in 3.2 seconds leaving nary a crumb behind. All this leads me to conclude that the aforementioned sandwich is indeed the former property of Nathan.

Now, what I just love about this, is the internal conversation I picture Nathan having in his head. I mean really, of all the places in the house, why would he hide a half eaten sandwich in the cabinet underneath the bathroom sink?

I guarantee that he was still poking around when we were finishing up lunch. I always have the kids help me pick up lunch. They have to clear the table, throw away any scraps of leftovers and wipe the table down. I can just see Nathan trying to figure out what to do.

Mom told me to empty my plate in the trash and to put it in the sink. But I'm not done with my sandwich. What if I'm hungry later? I might want it then. Where can I hide it so that I can come back to it after naptime? OH! I KNOW! Under the sink in the bathroom! That's the perfect place! Mom will never find it there!

Boys. They're such a mystery. Especially the three year old variety.

Before you think I'm a big meanie not letting the kids finish their lunch- we usually spend at least 45 minutes eating lunch, reading the newspaper, etc. Honestly, he would sit there an hour and a half or more, poking around with his lunch. At some point, there just has to be a cut off. I think 30-45 minutes is plenty of time to eat a pb & j sandwich, some fruit and crackers.

Where Do Feminists Come Up With This Stuff?

Mon, 9 Jun 2008 08:06:00 -0500

This will be sure to offend someone and for that I apologize. I'll be posting my thoughts on this post later on or tomorrow.

A guest post by the lovely Terry from Ornaments of Grace. Terry always has something interesting to say- I love reading her blog even when I don't agree but especially when I do!

Where Do Feminists Come Up With This Stuff?

Sometimes when I read the radical feminist perspective on the choice that many women make to leave the rat race, come home, and fully embrace being a wife and mother, I think, “Who are they studying, and how come I’ve never met any of these women?” The assumption that women stay home only because they have husbands who can afford to support them in style is the prevailing line of thought among this crowd. There is this misconception that women who stay home are married to men in high powered careers making six-figures and that this in itself puts women at risk because what man, having been in a prestigious, well paying, intelligent environment all day wants to come home to a woman who hasn’t even had a conversation with anyone over the age of six? In the minds of these women, there’s really no question of IF these marriages will collapse, only a matter of when. And when they do, the poor naïve wife who has given up everything to make a home for this man and his progeny will find herself poor, struggling, and alone.

When I ran across this little financial piece recently, it became clear to me that people who write these kinds of cost analyses have no idea how much a family gains when mom stays at home. They really don’t realize that for many, the decision is often made before they can even see how they’re going to manage the finances. Staying home and raising your own kids is about so much more than dollars and cents. It’s a matter of the heart and realizing that if we are to fulfill God’s plan to raise our children well, someone has to be available to do it. It requires sacrifice! When I came home 12 and a half years ago, my husband worked hard to provide. And while I will admit that he was pretty well employed for someone his age (he was 23), we were hardly living the high life! I’ve met women whose husbands worked long hours on blue collar jobs in order to support their families while their wives stay at home. I’ve run across missionary families doing the same thing. Not every stay at home mom is married to a high-powered executive. That may be what Linda Hirshman found when she did her notorious study, but it’s not every one’s reality. It’s not even most people’s reality. I believe she called these women “elite women”. I can think of many adjectives to describe myself: forgiven, opinionated, realistic, but elite? No! It costs us plenty for me to stay home and I’m sure that’s true for many of you as well.

Our lifestyle is far from elitist. I cut coupons, limit and plan my outings to maximize gas mileage, and make my menu each week based on which supermarkets are offering the best deals. I do my own hair, paint my own nails, and rarely make impromptu trips to Target (my favorite store!). I cook dinner every night. We eat out about once every three months, sometimes less. When there’s a book I’m interested in reading, my first stop is to the library, not the bookstore.

As our family has grown, we’ve had to make more sacrifices and examine our choices more closely, but in the process we have grown to realize how unnecessary most of the stuff we think is necessary really is. We have grown to appreciate the simple things a lot more. No burger tastes as good as the one cooked on our own grill, for a fraction of the cost. Walking around the neighborhood at dusk is far more relaxing than dodging the crowds while walking through a local mall as part of the materialistic rat race.

Now obviously I’m not totally deprived as I’m writing this on my personal laptop and will upload the post on Blogger via high speed internet access, which can hardly be considered a necessity. I’m simply saying that in our day to day living, we examine every purchase and make every effort to be good stewards. Life is far from glamorous in the Ornaments of Grace house, believe me. So when I hear or read these feminists saying that being a stay at home mom is a luxury for only the privileged few, I laugh. I accept that there are many people for whom this choice is not a realistic one to consider, but I also believe that if we are willing to downsize our lifestyles, re-examine what we consider necessities and make tough choices, the privileged few can become a substantial number of families.

The sad part of this whole debate is that we have raised a generation of women who believe that it is unwise at best and stupid at worst for a woman to decide to make such a major life choice for the sake of serving someone else. Since when did selflessness cease to be a virtue and become a naïve choice worthy of pity for those who choose it? Thankfully, as the lies of modern feminism are being revealed as the deception that they are, the tide seems to be turning. I hope it continues to do so. We still have a lot of work to do to rescue the next generation from the selfish and fruitless choices of the last one.

Links

Wed, 7 May 2008 07:43:00 -0500

There's lots of good stuff in the links below- check them out!

Babies
My Name is Lori and I'm Infertile is quite simply, the best post I've ever seen on the subject.   Exactly, exactly, exactly how I felt during our three years of infertility prior to Mary.   Even if you don't struggle with infertility you probably know someone who is and this post will give you a little insight to what they are going through.

How To Choose The Sex Of Your Baby   We've done some version of the Shettles method with all three kids and, so far, have a 100% success rate.   This is a great article on how to do this and I learned some things I didn't know before-

Children
Ten Things To Do With Your Child Before Age Ten Great article but a little long. I printed it out to read one evening while Kip was watching something I didn't want to watch....

Handipoints Chore Charts Wow! I LOVE this!   When Kip and I did our goals for the year back in January, one thing he wanted us to work on with the children was developing a chore list.    This lets you create your own chore list and customize it to your home and what works for your family. Now, the only odd thing I didn't like was it required you to register at least one of your children. But whatever- I just made up a bogus name and put it down.   This is a neat site though- worth the aggravation of registering.

Home
Organizing Junkie I am so in love with this blog that it's ridiculous.

Closet Organizer This closet organizer by Kolcraft is pretty neat and CRAZY CHEAP! $20!!!!   Had we seen these last fall, we probably would not have bought the $90 closet organizer from Lowe's for Mary and Nathan's closets. drat.   We've still got two more kid closets to go though- so I may be ordering this.

Finding Time- Less is More   Good article from Biblical Womanhood- so true.

Thirteen Reasons To Do A Weekly Menu Plan

And, coming next, a sure-to-be-controversial guest post.... :-)

Deadweight

Sun, 4 May 2008 09:07:00 -0500

Deadweight

One of the reasons I choose to join the Marines was because I wanted something I didn't have and I knew the Marine Corps could give it to me. That summer at Parris Island I learned self-confidence, I learned how to be alone, even in a crowd and to be okay with it and I learned how important relationships really are in my life. One of the outcomes of those lessons was that when I returned home I realized I was wasting too much time, mental and emotional energy on "deadweight" relationships. Those relationships where you feel like you give and get nothing back. Where you are always reaching out and getting little to nothing in return. Those relationships were draining me and leaving me less time and energy to focus on the really good relationships in my life. So, I cut them loose. I certainly didn't have any sort of big discussion about it, I just quit calling and gradually let those relationships die off. And it was such a good thing for me.

Then, in the 5/2005 issue of "O" magazine, I read this great little commentary by Francine Prose entitled "Trust Your Gut Reactions" that so perfectly sums up how I decide if a relationship is worth continuing. Here's an excerpt of that:

"We were discussing the nature of friendship in general and love in particular, and she said, "If you want to know who your friends really are and whom you should be hanging around with, all you have to do is follow this simple test. Whenever you've just finished spending time with a particular person, ask yourself, Do I feel better or worse than I did before? No long explanations, no equivocations, No excuses. Just 'better' or 'worse'. Then tally up the results, and pretty soon everything will begin to seem very clear."....it's inspired me to extricate myself from unproductive professional associations, destructive friendships, disastrous love affairs. It's helped me to surround myself with friends whom I love, and who love me."

I realized recently, ten years after becoming a Marine and graduating from Parris Island, that I'm at that point again. I've got some deadweight relationships in my life. Some "friends" and acquaintenances who weigh me down. I come away from any interaction we have- whether in person or by email, feeling down. Feeling unheard or disregarded. And it stinks. So, I've decided to make some changes.

This is NOT to say that I don't enjoy good discussion or correction! Sarah C. always makes me really think about what I'm doing and why and I love that. Kaeb is my great encourager and it is wonderful to have a friend who is your cheerleader. I know Kelly G. will speak the hard truth to me in kindness and with the best of intentions regardless of whether or not it's what I *want* to hear and for that I love her dearly.

But, honestly? I'm just done with some of these other relationships. I've got plenty enough difficult family issues (extended family- not Kip and I) that I have to negotiate through because they're family that I really don't want to waste anymore time on difficult friends or acquaintances where I come away from every encounter feeling crappy about myself.

ETA: Okay, I've reread this and think maybe it sound grumpy. I don't feel grumpy, not even angry really, just more done. kwim? I'm just ready to move on. And I thought, in the interest of being transparent about what's really going on in my life, I would share this.

Updates- Baby and the Big Kids

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:08:00 -0500

Updates for the baby and the big kids

It's been a big month for Savvy... In the last 30 days she's got her first three teeth in, had her first table food, started clapping her hands, rolled over, had her first icecream and heard "no" for the first time.
Not to mention she spent one week quite sick with a fever, cough, congestion and runny nose.

We had a little more "no" training today and she did beautifully. :) I'm so proud of her.

Big Kids
I am doing "Teaching Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" with Mary and Nathan. We're on Lesson 12 and Mary is already reading a few words- mat, sat, rat, me, am, ram, eat. WOOHOO! Nathan is still a bit young for this- only 3 years and four months. He knows all the sounds and is following along but I may have to go back through it with him next year. We will see how he does. But wow, Mary is doing great!

There may or may not have been an incident today involving chocolate syrup stolen from the fridge, hauled out onto the deck, hands, faces, clothes, sandals, chocolate-syrup handprints on the windows, chocolate syrup swirls on the decking. When I discovered the mess (I was clued in by some hysterical laughing- not usually a good sign with preschoolers), I told them I would have to discipline them for stealing the chocolate syrup out of the fridge. Mary then asked me, "are you going to take our picture first?". I'm guessing she asked the question because of incidences like THIS ONE or maybe THIS ONE in which I did take pictures first. I suppose I'll have to cut back on that. Also, the snatching of food has become a problem that we are going to have to start correcting for. Funny but not so funny, kwim?

First Icecream of the Season

Mon, 12 May 2008 07:55:00 -0500

First Icecream of the Season

We always make a big deal out of the "first icecream of the season". On Saturday, 4/26 we took the kids to Homeland Creamery for icecream. Nathan had chocolate, Mary Madison had strawberry and Savvy had her first taste of icecream as well- some of Daddy's chocolate. So FUN!

We LOVE A Baker's Dozen idea for a Pajama Ride. They put the kids in their pajamas, brush teeth, and send everybody to bed just like any normal night. Every so often, randomly, about 5 minutes after they put everyone in bed, the parents run upstairs and shout "PAJAMA RIDE". Kids come running and tumbling out of bed knowing that it means a surprise trip to get icecream. This is the kind of stuff that memories are made of! I can just see the kids, as adults, sitting around talking about remember how when we were kids mom and dad would take out for icecream at night??? We might do our first run in the next week or two.

I think the principle goes along well with this Micheal Pearl quote that I posted earlier:

Rules and principles make good fences for a family, but not good glue. Joy is the best family glue on the market. A carnal family with joy will produce better kids than a “spiritual” family with tight-lipped, rigid, or stern-browed legalism. It doesn’t have to be either/or. The absolute best approach is joyful, disciplined spirituality founded on the solid principles of the Word of God and separation from the world. -From his article, Training in Joy

Kip and Nathan a few weeks ago, getting ready to go to a Greensboro Grasshoppers Game.