I was back to homeschooling BOTH of my children after a disastrous year in the public school. But homeschooling was even worse. One is now in public school and the other is in the Christian school. My biological children are grown, one married and going back to college and the other is in Guatemala through her college program. My adopted children are 9 and 8. They were prenatally exposed to alcohol, are ADD/ADHD, RAD and who knows what else. Last year in school, they concluded that they rule the roost totally. We tried to work on this concept for years and now it is worse than ever. And it is getting even worse with the 9 year old. The 8 year old is on meds that have helped a lot. We are spending a lot of time working on respect and obedience the parents' way. Our desire is healing for our children's hearts. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Sun, 1 Feb 2009 23:23:00 -0600 Sun, 1 Feb 2009 23:23:00 -0600 The Christian school wanted Jonathan to be full time by the end of the second quarter.  We are into the third quarter and I think we are at the point where he can attend full time now.  He has had two pretty good weeks at home and school.  He still rages some at home and gives the teacher some difficulty at school, but we certainly aren't going to expect perfection.  He knows that he is likely to have to repeat third grade again next year if he continues to choose to not work.  He also knows that I am willing to teach him what he needs to know to help him catch up, if he asks me to teach him.  We have decided that his education is in his hands.  We are not going to battle him.  I provide him the time to do his school work.  His play time gets seriously limited though by his choices to not take care of his responsibilities.  Just one of those life lessons that he needs to learn. This summer, he will be learning in some manner.  School or work.  He cannot handle hours upon hours of free play.  With his RAD, that much freedom scares him.  He is emotionally about 4 years old and sometimes about one.  I keep him pretty close to me most of the time.  This is what he needs to feel safe and we have seen him fall apart if he is allowed to be outside alone too long.  It is so sad.  But, he is making progress on his healing and that is what counts.  We are getting there.  He is trusting us more and more.  He tells me things that Becca did that he never told me before.  He is gradually learning to talk about his feelings.  So, for the time, being in school full time will be good.  It will help me to gear up for the summer.  We have had and are under a lot of stress.  Our home is SO much better than it was.  We are all functioning a lot better, but in order to keep things this way, we have to fight a battle.  We have to insist that our daughter can't return home in the near future.  Neither child is ready and we as parents can't handle both of them together in the condition they are both in.  We are still learning how to handle Jonathan.  We all need time.  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/653404/ Sun, 1 Feb 2009 23:23:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/653404/ My sister sent this to me in an e-mail today.  I thought this was worth sharing on my blog and getting the word out. Here's your chance to let the media know where the people stand on our faith in God, as a nation. NBC is taking a poll on "In God We Trust" to stay on our American currency. Please send this to every Christian you know so they can vote on this important subject. Please do it right away, before NBC takes this off the web page. Poll is still open so you can vote. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10103521/ This is not sent for discussion, if you agree forward it, if you don't, delete it. By me forwarding it, you know how I feel. I'll bet this will be a surprise to NBC. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/628402/ Fri, 5 Dec 2008 12:52:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/628402/ My son is doing better socially at the Christian school.  He is starting to make some friends and yet this scares him.  He acts up at home when he is scared.  He has had times at home of doing well too.  He had a whole week without raging.  He is talking out his feelings more, he is confessing his lies, hidding things and stealing to us more and more.  This may sound crazy.  You might think, why are we happy with this?  Why are we happy with the confessions and not expecting him to stop the behavior?  Ultimately, we hope for the behavior to stop.  BUT, the confessions are signs that he is developing a conscience.  Something that a child with RAD doesn't have.  ANY sign of this is cause for praise with us.  When he had his week without raging, it was ended when I told him that his sister "might" return to our state.  He is terrified of her.  We have actually taken a trip and brought her back.  As far as he knows the trip was just time for Mommy and Daddy.  And, we did take 4 extra days so we could have some time alone. At home, I have come across something really interesting with him.  He has a hard time with some of the things we do in the Saxon math.  Counting by two's backwards and counting 1 to 19, just saying the odd numbers and then backwards frustrates him.  He gets VERY angry.  I have discovered that if I take him to the rocking chair in the living room and hold and rock him while he does this that he does MUCH better.  He stays much calmer and he takes his time and processes it much better.  This has given me the idea to think about what all can be done in the rocking chair or even see if it is the human contact that helps.  I want to see if it is the motion or the touch that is impacting him.  I am going to take more and more of our afternoon school time to the living room and try side by side on the couch and the rocking chair to experiment. We just had his parent/teacher conference at school.  First quarter is over.  Amazingly, in one quarter of school, with teaching in two places, his spelling has gone up.  It was grade level 2.2 at the beginning of the year.  He tested as 3.7 at the end of the first quarter.  A fantastic jump for one quarter of third grade!!  I have decided that I can quit giving him spelling words at home.  No need to double up anymore.  I will just keep going over the phonograms and spelling rules with him.  Then, we can focus in on other areas that are needing the work more. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/616544/ Sat, 8 Nov 2008 18:17:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/616544/ I went down to the special education department today to pick up the evaluation that was done on Jonathan.  I was called a number of weeks ago to say it had been mailed out.  Since it hadn't arrived, I decided it was time to check it out.  It had just gone into the outgoing mail box - hmmm. Since I have been working with Jonathan and tried to figure out where I saw his areas of struggle, I was really curious to see what was on this report.  I have been working on phonics and spelling rules, handwritting, sentence structure (where capitals belong, punctuation), other language skills and first grade math (we are 1/2 way through the math now).  Science and Bible were more for enjoyment for him.  I wasn't concerned about his reading and he reads the science book with me.  We alternate paragraphs, which gives him practice in paying attention to where a paragraph starts and ends.  The only real thing he is missing of value at school is the writing program.  But, he is still working with me on just writing a sentence and getting it right. This evaluation was quite interesting.  He sure is spread all over the board in his ability.  What a mix.  This was one portion about what was noticed at his last school.  "his behavior was inconsistent and marked by high degree of distractibility and difficulty with peer interactions.  He has strong reading skills but struggles in math.  J. appeared to be able to work more independently in the mornings."  Then, "Impaired social interactions continue to be an issue, particularly in larger group settings in which J. is unable to ignore distractions and tends to follow the lead of peers that also struggle with appropriate social behavior."  Yep - just the direction I fear my son going.  We are hoping to guide and direct him with more appropriate thinking than that of his peers.  We want to have more influence in his life to help form his views.  He is incredibly vulnerable right now. Educationally, was interesting too.  "J. is a strong reader.  His overall comprehension skills appear to be near the fifth grade level.  His oral fluency is somewhat lower but still above grade level."  He is just beginning third grade!  They wanted to hold him back in kindergarten because he wasn't learning to read.  I brought him to this Christian school to be tutored by a man here and then I worked with him over that summer.  He CAN learn!!!  "It is in the area of writing and math that he has the most difficulty with.  His math computaional and reasoning skills are at approximately the end of first grade as is his overall writing skills." One of the biggest challenges for him is that he wants to rush everything.  He won't pay attention to me, because he is trying to figure it out ahead of me so we can be done with it.  We end up taking longer this way.  He also gets distracted by EVERY sound.  And, it is just the two of us at home.  So, any mild noise outside and he has to know what it is and is worrying about it.  I spend a good amount of MY energy, trying to get him to relax and slow down and do it right the first time.  He is a bundle of nervous energy.  Nothing seems to help.  Meds don't - unless it is enough to make him fall asleep as I am teaching him.  Letting him burn the energy off doesn't - he comes in either mad because he now has to work (not getting his way) or all riled up from all the adrenaline flowing in his system (and unable to slow his body down).  Poor kid, just can't self-regulate.  If I try to rock and soothe him, he fights because that closeness scares him.  He feels like he has to get away from me.  I feel for him.  Imagine what a classroom is like for him.  He had a piano recital tonight.  Every noise, made him turn to see what was happening.  It made it hard for him to play - he did pretty well in spite of this. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/604995/ Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:06:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/604995/ I changed Jonathan's program a bit this week.  He has made more of an effort on his own to use good handwriting, so I am going to encourage this.  I am cutting back on some of the langugage that we do, to allow time to work on using his handwriting in words rather than just practicing the letters.  He was mad at me at first today, when I did this with him.  But, when the day was done, (and he hadn't fought me as much as usual), he saw that school time ended MUCH earlier.  Maybe this will encourage him to do the right things?  With a RAD child, you never know.  Success is a scary thing. We had a meeting at the school today.  He only attends in the mornings and is there on a "let's see if this works" basis.  After almost getting kicked out of school and a few adjustments, he is doing better.  The teacher and principal would like him to be there more.  My husband and I are cautious about this because of his need to bond to me and his fears.  He has made incredible progress in talking about how he feels since his sister has been out of the home.  We don't want to inhibit his emotional healing.  Yet, for me, it would help me to not be so exhausted so have him in school more.  I am very tired by the end of a day with working with him.  He is a very angry little boy and I am working with and around this anger all afternoon.  Trying to help him talk it out, make good choices, think about his choices, direct him into better thinking, etc.  I have to make decisions on how safe he seems to be feeling so that I know how to handle the next few minutes, hour or the rest of the afternoon.  Sometimes, it means we need to spend some time snuggling, sometimes it means he is too unsafe to go outside to play, sometimes I have to follow him to the bathroom and stand outside the door.  Other times, I can let him be outside for 15 minutes, can send him to the bathroom, ask him to fold socks or he can handle snuggles and tickles.  But, one of those could send him into a full-blown rage.  Unpredictability, is the name of the game in living with a RAD.  But, as a mom of a RAD, God is teaching me compassion, patience, love deeper than I ever knew, gentleness, service and who knows WHAT else.  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/604401/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 23:20:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/604401/ My son has had a terrible time figuring out odd and even numbers. I have tried numerous ways to teach this to him. I have used methods beyond what the math book gave. Today, there was another lesson on it. I went a bit deeper again. HE GOT IT!!! I even tried to "trick him" which he loves. I started with one digit numbers and worked up to higher numbers. I threw in numbers such as, 756,967 and he knew it was odd. After dinner my husband tried a number like 365,000 and he knew it was even. YIPEE!!! One struggle area down. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/598653/ Wed, 1 Oct 2008 22:19:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/598653/ Homeschooling sure is a challenge for my little guy.  He gets angry when he has to work on school or chores or just if he doesn't get his way.  We took him to his psychiatrist on Thursday.  I had added a drug that she had said would help him with his anger, that we used to use for sleep for him.  He used to take 3 pills.  She switched his sleep med because this med just wasn't doing it for him anymore.  And believe me, we tried no meds for him for YEARS.  We finally started giving into them when he was 5 1/2 and he came to us at 10 months.  He is on 4 different meds.  When we switched his ADHD meds last year and  he was off all of them for a day or so - YIKES!!!  His poor teacher!!  We switched him to the Christian school for mornings this year.  So, anyway, I started giving him 1/2 a pill in the morning so he wouldn't get kicked out of school.  He was close to it.  The psychiatrist wanted me to give him more during the day to control his anger.  So, I gave him 1/2 with lunch today and he fell asleep on me while I was teaching him math.  So, I took him to the couch for a nap.  How can you teach a kid who is sleeping?  lol  These are tiny pills - I'm wondering if I can cut them into 1/4.  Might be interesting. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/597288/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:28:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/597288/ We have had an interesting start to our homeschool time.  Jonathan has obviously had a lot of stress in school.  When I would try to do flashcards with him to help him with the math he never got back in first grade (he is in third), he would almost go into a panic.  I used a number of methods with him to calm him down.  I took the pressure off him to know the math facts and "gave" him the answers for awhile.  I let him know with a calm tone of voice that it was ok to not know them yet and that I was here to help him.  He is much calmer now and is learning his doubles.  He would even panic over addition facts that I was sure he could figure out very easily.  He was totally dependant on using his fingers.  I have been taking that away from him and he is learning that he can do it without them. He struggles with writing.  We are slowly progressing with this.  I try to make sure that my subjects that require writing aren't all bunched together.  With handwriting practice, I am just taking it slow.  I found a blog with information on dysgraphia.  Jonathan has most of the symptoms of this.  We know of one of the programs that was recommended for this problem.  We just aren't at a point of being able to do this right now. He has certainly been his RAD self in our homeschooling.  It has been a challenge and I have really been worn down a few times.  Last week, I ended up taking a different approach to homeschooling.  It was the school of learning to obey, work hard on chores and fill mom's energy tank back up.  I gave him the task to try to please me rather than annoy me constantly.  By Friday, he was asking to homeschool.  But, alas, he still wasn't real fun in homeschooling today.   On we march in the RAD world.  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/593929/ Mon, 22 Sep 2008 19:21:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/593929/ My little guy is testing me.  It is getting old.  I am wearing down.  I know that is where he wants me.  I just sent him out for a recess so that I can regoup within myself.  UGH!!  He shouts at me if I correct him.  He purposely does things the wrong way.  I had him mini tramp awhile ago until he could tell me how to write the date correctly.  lol  Oh my, how he likes to push me.  I am glad he goes to school in the mornings.  I am just rambling. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/587524/ Tue, 9 Sep 2008 15:36:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/587524/ Jonathan has been homeschooling part-time. I have been amazed that he has sat so well for me. He is RAD, ADHD and FASD. He definitely has gaps in his learning. He reads at a fourth grade level but can't add his doubles (4+4 is too hard for him). I am seeing that he was taught tricks to do the work and has been relying on them. I want to get him past relying on these tricks that slow him down and help him to see that there are easier ways to do the math. I even caught him counting to add 9+1 today. He is in third grade. He is smart. I showed him the pattern with adding one and then threw a bunch of off the wall problems at him and he even got 153+1 real quickly. Why do schools teach these tricks to the kids? They handicap them. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/584115/ Tue, 2 Sep 2008 18:53:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/latemama/584115/