Adventures at Home - Homeschool Blogger

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:34:00 -0600

My mother-in-law always tucks little notes in the packages that she sends to our family. I had read this one before and enjoyed it again this time.

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again,
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
Diane Loomans.

A gentle reminder that these days will not last forever. I know that I will miss them, and must remember that in the heat of those moments that we all have as moms.

Thankfullness and Anxiety - my conundrum

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 06:15:00 -0600

I recently heard a "Power Charge" on our local radio station. I must admit that I wasn't listening EXTREMELY closely, because I was busy sanding drywall at the time. My ears perked up when I realized that he was talking of thankfullness, and then I heard the word anxiety.

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday of the year. Thanksgiving is least "polluted" of the holidays. Sure many thing of it as Turkey Day and a chance to hang out with family watching football, but almost everyone still give THANKS for what they are blessed with. People who never think about God blessing them, still remember that they are so BLESSED on this day, even if they don't think about who is really doing the blessing. I am not naive to the point that I think that people are all out their celebrating the fact that it is God who has given them all these blessing, but I do believe that people are GRATEFUL for what they have on this day. I love Thanksgiving, it isn't about gifts or treats and there is no mythical creature sneaking in to bring us anything. It is only about being thankful for all we have.

In the part of the Power charge that I heard, he said that you can't be anxious when you are being thankful. If you are busy thinking about all the blessing God has given to you or the things He has taken care of for you, you can't be anxious about things. I immediately got irritated.

I am a person who fights anxiety. I believe it is a battle I have fought for my entire life. Now that I am adult, and fully aware of this battle, I look back at myself as a child and can understand so much that ran through my young head. A few years ago I started taking an anti-anxiety medication because I can't seem to control it at times, and this was on TOP of all the natural things that I take just to help relax me. If you know me in real life, I don't sit still real well. I have a hard time doing nothing. Even when my husband and I sit down to relax together and watch TV, and I am grading, surfing, playing sudoku, or anything to keep me TRULY busy.

I am anxious all the time! Even when I am not really thinking or worrying about something! I just am very naturally anxious. If I didn't ever take the magical herbs and pill that I take everynight, I would NEVER sleep and would NEVER quit moving.

HOWEVER...

As a christian, I have long done battle with Phillipians 4.6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God

I believe this with EVERY fiber of my being. I KNOW that God is meeting all my needs. I KNOW that God is actively involved in every aspect of my mind. I am SO THANKFUL for all the blessings that HE has bestowed on me. My life would truly be nothing without Him. I know that. I also know that I should ne in prayer more often and being verybally thankful for what I have more. I know that I have not arrived in the thankfullness or prayer department, but OH MY, DO YOU KNOW HOW BLESSED I AM????

However, I don't understand what to do with an anxiety that I cannot really control. It is just there. If I decided that I was going off all the things I do to help with my anxiety, and decided that I was going to thankful instead, my husband would probably run off to a foreign land and take the kids with him. At what point ....?

I know God is in control of all things.

I know He is bigger than my anxious nature.

I know that He has blessed in in countless ways that I cannot begin to fathom. I am a blessed person.

So, am I a disobedient Christian because I take measures to control my anxiety? It is such a hard question for me. I have mentally battled it for YEARS.

Another Thanksgiving rolls around, and I am thrilled to see it. I am thankfully daily for my blessed life.

....and I am still worried if I am anxious too much... hmmmmm....

The job I hate most.

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 20:58:00 -0500

One task in my home do I loathe more than any other. I would rather clean up dog poo, scrub toilets after the stomach flu, do the laundry that I hate to do, clean the fridge.... You get the picture, right?

I HATE DOING THE DISHES!!!!

I really do. It is the most irritating task on my mom list. My hatred for dishes began in my younger days. I would routinely trade my brother my dishes duty for almost any other chore we ever had. I used to be so grossed out by the piles of dishes and sinks with not so fresh water. I HATE DISHES.

When we got married, I was quite frank with my husband-to-be. I told him there was two things that I do not do. I don't clean do puke. I don't do dishes. He lovingly, yet naively promised me that he would take care of puke for the rest of our blessed cohabitation, and he would always make sure I had a dishwasher. He went as far as to say, that if ever, we were without one, he would wash the dishes for me.

I know that if you know us, and you know my husband, you are laughing at your screen at this very moment. JP doesn't do housework! He doesn't. I love him dearly, but he is not domestically gifted. It caused many a squabble in our young married days, and even a few in the current years. I finally came to the conclusion that since I was a stay at home mom for many of those years, that I would do all the work myself and try to only grumble occasionally.

Then, I went back to work. I now work full time teaching and he has definitely tried to pitch in more. He even learned how to operate our washing machine this summer! He gets up with the kids and I, and makes breakfast, and helps everyone get out the door. He often puts supper in for us, as long as I have it planned, and he puts kids to bed at night. We have found a working balance... for the most part. I am not saying it is without conflict, but we have been doing okay ... I think.

As you know, last weekend my fancy smanshy front loading wash machine kicked the bucket. For a family of six, with a mom who works all week, this is NOT a good thing to happen on the weekend. I do almost ALL of laundry on the weekend! I had even dreamed I was going to have to go to work not in appropriate clothing with un-uniformed kids to school. After a few days, when the washed returned to working order, my husband even did laundry while I was at work!!!!!!! I was thrilled. I am still not caught up, but we don't have to go to school nude now!

This weekend, we have a long to do list, and what could go wrong? WELL.... how about my precious dishwasher dying?!? I can't handle that! ANYTHING but that. TAKE MY FANCY WASHER... TAKE MY FRIDGE, but don't take the dishwasher! Alas, it is dead.

I avoided the dishes all day, and the piled high. I made a last ditch effort to bring my BFF to life, and all hope was lost. I was going to forced to wash those stinking dishes. I HATE DISHES.

I begrudingly began my dreaded task. I fumed as my husband retreated to the basement without care of his naive promise of years past. What was he thinking? I washed. I dug out the wood dishrack that I bought at IKEA because I thought it was cute. I washed and washed.

Our boys walked in, and saw the novel contraption on the counter. #4 screams, "What is that thing?" "Wow, cool!" chimes #1. I broke out in laughter.

I tucked the monsters into their beds, and returned to washing, and my husband finally emerged from his basement lair. I tossed him a dishtowel, half expecting that I would need to duck imenently, and he stepped up and began to dry. WHO WAS THIS MAN?

I washed, he dried, and he finally learned the locations of many things in our kitchen. He could now acutally locate the mixing bowels, large rubbermaid containers, and Pampered Chef stoneware without panicking and calling me. What an amazing thing!

We giggled and washed some more. He retreated again to his lair, and this time, I was no longer angry. I did not hope for him to fall down the stairs, or trip over the laundry piles at the bottom. He was free to go.

When I was in the car this morning, I heard a devotional minute about the power of positive thinking. My mind instantly ran cynically around the cliche. (I know that you are shocked that I would be critical in any way) However, at this very moment, it seems very poignant. I could change my circumstances! I could remember that this is a blessing to my family, and part of my job as a wife and mom. No one likes all of their job, and I promise you that I will not actually anjoy the dishes, but I can try and remember to not have a bad attitude doing it. I can think of the dirty little hands that smudged the glasses and chubby cheeks that inhaled the food off of those plates.

And I will pray that JP remembers that promise and does the dishes.

and that the washer will work.

My husband, the overgrown child

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 19:01:00 -0500

My husband has told me so often about different "projects" he had as a child. Considering the fact that he is not the world's handiest man, I have often doubted some of the tales.

I was gone this morning to Cotsco with my mom and aunts. I got up this morning and scrubbed down the kitchen in preparation for my return with a load of food. I left to do lists for the clan. On my "Honey Please" list I said PLEASE don't make a big mess. When he pulled in earlier this afternoon, you cannot imagine my thoughts when I see the neighborhood kids, our kids, and my husband out front with saws, sanders, and paints. He was sharing one of his childhood projects with them.

My mind immediately raced to my lists. Did they do anything productive in my absence? I wonder what the house looks like. I had put "Pick up the Yard" on the list, and I can assure you the yard was not looking its tidiest. I was pleasantly surprised it had been mowed.

I put on my happy face, and sweetly asked what they were doing. I was immediately and proudly shown the first round of plywood shields. He was cutting magic wands next, and then on to swords. Spray paint was flying, and sanders were buzzing. I smiled, and walked away.

They kept at work for several hours. I helped by wrapping yarn around handles and consulting on color choices for the fairy princesses. Some pounding and final alterations are still taking place in the near darkness.

At first, the modern mom in me was appalled by the barbarian nature of today's arts and craft time. A good mom has NO business allowing her children to play with power tools, much less run about our yard with wooden swords and shields attatched to their arms by old jean legs. Someone may just lose an eye!

We live in a society where we we protect our young from almost everything. We shield our precious darlings from all those things considered dangerous, yet it seems that we still have emergency rooms full of broken legs and stitched heads. Kids will be kids, won't they? Maybe sometimes, we should just let them play!

Didn't our parents survive a childhood full of unsafe playthings? Didn't our grandparents play with rocks and sticks down at the ole swimming hole? Yet, somehow they survived long enough to become our grandparents. Didn't our generation have lists of toys that are now considered treacherous for our children?

I am not advocating we through all children safety laws out the window. Those rules are there for a reason, and do protect us in so many ways. I don't think we should give babies magnetic beads, and I don't think we should allow the Chinese to paint every toy with lead filled paint. I doubt I will be giving my ten year free reign with his BB gun as my father was allowed.

Instead, I will not squelch my husband's desire to share his childhood with our children. I will turn the other way while the war wages between the knights and the evil princesses. I will say an extra prayer for protection. I will join my children in the joys of childhood, and try to cling to these memories.

If you look very closely, you will see evidence of our first injury. I have already questioned my newfound resolve.

The old married couple

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:58:00 -0500

It is funny how the years can creep up on you. JP and I have been married for eleven years. We have had our good times and our bad times. Those things are just a part of marriage. However, I know our personalities and my guess is that we have had more colorful debates solely because of those same personalities. It has taken many years, but in some ways we feel like we have finally hit our stride. Just typing that makes me giggle. ELEVEN YEARS TO HIT A STRIDE! That is just pitiful!

We keep joking about becoming an old married couple, and in so many ways we are. We finish sentences and anticipate things that only people who have lived together 11 years can know. It is just the way it is. I can't even imagine how it will be when it has been 30 or 40 years.

Today, another piece of evidence came forward. Actually it was SEVEN pieces of evidence. My parents found a pair of silver glasses at their house. They were sure that they belonged to me, and I brought them home. I knew that I wouldn't have purchased silver frames, but I knew JP had. I excitedly brought them out tonight, because I was so sure he was going to be excited that we had found his backup pair.

"Those aren't mine!

"Well, they aren't mine"

" Yes they are. They are too big for my head! Plus, your glasses should match your hair, and my hair is NOT silver. Yours is!"

"No, here are my extra set." He runs and find them.

*OKay so maybe he didn't RUN. *

"Well, actually I might have more too." He grabs another pair.

"I saw one in our room too." He finds TWO more pair.

We start trying them all on.

"I think this one is yours"

"NO this one is yours. Remember I said it made you look even MORE gray?"

"Those are too big for your face."

"I don't think these knobby thing ones were mine."

"yes, they were, I wouldn't wear that color!"

"Well, this would never happen if you didn't wear MEN's glasses!"

I will spare you the rest of the conversation. It went on a for quite a while.

We still aren't quite sure on a few pairs. We have no idea which prescription which one is. The best thing of it all. I found my missing glasses! JP had been wearing them for the last couple months!

We are OLD!

The Great Tooth Fairy Faux Pas

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:06:00 -0500

Night #1 - #2 lost her other front tooth. We were all so excited, because that thing has looked so funny hanging there next too a big gaping space where its twin used to reside. She was so excited about the tooth fairy. However, when bed time came, she forgot to put her tooth under her pillow. She awoke with the claim that she didn't know where it was.

Isn't she cute?

Night #2 - I pointed out the location of the missing tooth. It was hiding out in the open... on the kitchen counter. A few short hours later, sweet #2 forgot to put her tooth under her pillow. The tooth fairy was completely prepared, but she left the tooth on the counter.

Night #3 rolls around, and mommy is out for a girls' night. She is so tired when she returned that she completely FORGOT that the tooth fairy needed to come.

My poor little girl was devestated! She cried and cried. We made up some lame excuse about the tooth fairy being swamped at the time of year, and she bought it.... Kinda.

Night #4 is upon us. Mommy is terribly sick and in bed. Daddy pinch hits by taking the tooth and NOT LEAVING MONEY!!!!

You can only imagine the devastation.

Night #5. The tooth fairy makes a beautiful note with glitter and all. She slaves away with glue and glitter. Have you ever tried to hide glitter evidence? Not an easy task!

She slips it and the money under the pillow. She nearly slipped and killed #3 in her sleep, but all was all when the tooth fairy went to bed.

Morning broke all too early, and the house was coming to life. A very, very sad little girl comes downstairs to inform the tooth fairy, I mean, her mom that the tooth fairy has yet again left her high and dry. She has given up now. The tooth fairy must hate her and never plan on coming. I tried to convince her to go up and look again. I told her that I had checked and saw something under her pillow.

A few minutes later she returned.... she has decided she has forgiven the tooth fairy because the tooth fairy paid interest on the missing days.

The only problem is that the kids got together and really think that they have it all figured out. For some reason they think that I am the tooth fairy. It was just something in the way that I said that I checked earlier... stinkin kids!

If a picture is worth a 1,000 words, this is a really long post!

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 23:29:00 -0500

I was waken from a night of continued torture from my stomach bug, by crying children. #1's beloved guinea pig was found dead this morning. Last night, I was jolted from slumber by news of her sickness, and we were afraid that this was coming soon. #1 takes these things so hard! He has lost one guinea pig previously and two gerbils. I know that one of the reasons that it is good for kids to have pets is to experience life and death, but it doesn't make it any easier on them. He is very close to his pigs, and he was truly devastated.

We buried sweet Milky Way in the back yard near her pet predecessors.

I promised #2 that I would take her garage saling for some mommy and me time. She didn't seem to really care that I was fighting this stomach bug, so off we went. We had a lot of fun just talking and holding hands from sale to sale. She reminded me that when #3 got to do this, she got lunch at McD's afterwards, so we headed there next. I enjoyed just listening to her talk. She is the child that I have the hardest time really "getting." I love her dearly, yet sometimes I just don't understand her. I enjoyed having today to just listen to her. She chatted on and on about all the wonderful things she could make and her plans for this or that. She was delighted with the FAVORITE meal - chicken nuggets, apple dippers, and chocolate milk. We headed home.

I took to cleaning the dreaded kitchen window. The window is one of the very few windows we haven't replaced. It is old and in bad repair, and is AWFUL to clean. It requires a ladder and two people. Jp helped which made the nastiness go faster, and it is amazing how much a clean window can brighten a kitchen! When I said that, JP looked at me like I had grown an extra ear or something. He is just a man you know!

We decided to tackled the berry picking next. I love blackberries, but they are painful work. I have made 10 pints of jam already, but really wanted to get more done, so off I went to the berries. I dragged the kids out there as my reluctant help with my mantra of "He who does not work, does not eat!" They didn't seem to think that was quite fair, but they tried anyway.

When #4 woke up from his nap, the whole family headed down the trail at the end of our street. It heads into the local park. We went armed with a berry bucket, BB gun, and two excited puppies. We picked another entire bucket of berries just on ONE trail. Again, the kids weren't much help, but they tried. We are going to head down another path tomorrow.

In the midst of the berry picking, #2 decided I had to have some wild flowers. She knows that daisies are my favorite.

I promised them that if they helped pick the berries, I would make a blackberry pie. One major problem. I have NEVER made a blackberry pie. So, I trusted ole Betty Crocker. I figure she has been doing it alot longer than I have, so I began. I was quite proud of myself. I even attempted the lattice top! I was so excited with myself by the second one, I called JP from his spot on the couch to come see! I made him take my picture!

After I slipped my beloved creations in the oven, I glanced around my kitchen and sighed. What a mess for two little pies and 5 more pints of jam!

Here are the finished products. I forgot to put tin foil around the crust edge so my edges are quite done, but hey it was my first shot. I don't think that they are half bad. I hope the taste great!

After all the all was done, and I wanted the kids to head to baths and bed, JP decided that they should light of some more bottle rockets. It just seemed like the SENSIBLE thing to do. At least they had fun.

For some reason, they can't shoot them out of a BOTTLE. They use our unused plumbing supplies to shoot them like a BAZOOKA.

We even had to finish the night off with sparklers!

All I can say is... WHAT A GREAT DAY!

The Virtuous Woman - I think she was nuts :)

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 12:39:00 -0500

A few days ago, my friends and I were having a discussion about motherhood. We all love being a mom, but constantly worry about being a good mom. This lead to the discussion of what even makes a good mom?

I know that there exactly a checklist one can refer to when striving to be a good mom! Books are countless on the topic. I know that the Bible describes many attributes of a mother. We can always refer to Proverbs 31 as an example of a virtuous woman, but frankly she scares me sometimes. The second I start thinking about working from morning to night, sewing, milking cows, spinning wheat, selling in the market place, and making linens I get flat out DEPRESSED!

I think of my meager offerings as a mother and know I can never live up to that superwoman! Isn't is our job to love our children's father, love our children, and teach them in the ways of the Lord? Isn't that what makes a good mom? I believe that if we are LOVING our children in the love of the LORD, doesn't so much of the other stuff fall into place?

We also were discussing LIKING your children. I think that if most moms are honest aren't there days we just have a hard time liking our children! I love our children dearly. I would throw myself in front of a moving train to save them. It would kill me to lose one of them. However, there are some days I don't really even like them or want to see them at that particular moment. Now, before you can child services on me, please be honest enough to admit you have been there too!

I felt like this more when we were home all day every day. We were homeschooling, and we spent nearly ever moment of every day together. A few days of coloring on walls, endless whining, and constant sibling fighting would make anyone consider suicide. Okay, so not really suicide, but thoughts of running away have run through my mind at times. I would NEVER do it, nor am I being completely serious, but some days were very hard.

Does that make one a bad mom? If we really have a hard time defining a good mom, can we really define a BAD mom? I know that an abuser would be top of the list, but I don't know how many times that I have heard someone say, "Well, she just isn't a good mom." Well, WHY? Who knows that?

I don't have the answer, and I don't even know what this post really is about. This has just been on my mind lately. We so often judge others and OURSELVES about motherhood, but if we are loving our children and teaching them in the ways of the Lord, aren't we really doing our job? Isn't that we are comanded to do.

I get very tired of the constant guilt of motherhood. We feel guilty if we do too much; we feel guilty if we do too little. We fight guilt in so many ways, but can't we silence those voices by feeling confident in our God given role of a mother? We are to love them and teach them. It doesn't say that there aren't days we want to clobber the little darlings! We are to LOVE them, and TEACH them.

I guess if you are still feeling guilty you could go spin some wheat or something...

Girls will be Girls

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 07:51:00 -0500

My husband told the girls "sure, you can use the camera!" They only got away with this because they asked him while I was NAPPING! You see, I am the cautious one. I am the one who usually has to say no and be the bad guy. Well, sleeping makes being the bad guy more difficult. They had the camera.

What does a 5 and 7 year old do with a camera? Set up a photo shoot of course!

What is more exciting that an American Girl doll on the couch?

Oh Let's take a picture of our Big Brother. Big shock... he is playing a video game!

They must have got bored with their photo shoot. They moved on to bigger and better things.

#3 took a picture of her feet in the kitchen.

They took a picture of the pictures on the walls...

And the classic pose that everyone has to try....

I love being a mommy to girls. I really do. I didn't want girls, but I am so glad saw so differently.

Welcome home to us

Wed, 8 Jul 2009 23:44:00 -0500

Tonight I am sitting in my relatively clean home. Now, to some of you, this may not be a novelty, but to me...

It has been over a year since I have been able to feel like this. The living room is actually a living room again. The kids are sleeping in their rooms. They may be unfinished, but they are all sleeping in their own spaces. All the main lving areas are "together." I can not describe how good that feels, and I can only imagine how it will feel when the house is actually done!

I have made it my goal to really try and teach the kids to respect the space that is ours. We have allowed them to carry on in their disastrous little ways, and I have had to attempt to keep it all somewhat coordinated. I move the messes from place to place anytime someone may step into the house, and we just deal. I can't do that! I crave a neater environment, but I can't do it alone. I have been pacing myself, and not trying to heap too much on them at once. They are children! I just feel that they CAN and WILL learn that messes can't clean themselves.

I have been struggling with this house since we have moved. I still have a disastrous garage and basement, and I have to conquer that mountain this summer, so we can begin the school year completely together! I have a laundry room downstairs that looks like a tornadowent through it. We are planning a garage sale, but I don't know when. I have been warning the kids that a major purging is going to take place. We do NOT need so much stuff! Why do we need all this stuff? We are just addicted to STUFF! We have to clean house!

School is coming sooner than we would like to admit, and summer is fleeting. My dear 7 year old was explaining to her little sister that this was the last full month of summer vacation. AWWWWW!!!! I am not ready to think about that yet!

Tonight as we were running around putting out the little fires that would become huge messes in just a few days, my kids kept asking things like 'who is coming over?" and "Are we having company?"

No... we are doing it for our family to enjoy.