He is the Vine, I'm Just One of His Branches - Homeschool Blogger

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Tue, 27 May 2008 22:03:00 -0500

I have moved my blog to Word Press. Here's the link....

Beth's New Blog

Contentment

Sat, 5 Apr 2008 14:20:00 -0500

I'm praising God right now because He allowed me to actually SIT under the teaching of Pat Palau today at our annual ladies conference! Why is that something to praise Him for? Notice SIT being capitalized...for the last few months, sitting has been quite painful due to degeneration in my SI (sacraliliac) joint. You'll have to look it up because this post isn't really about that. Anyway, after chiropractors and physical therapists...still with the PT, there has been very little improvement. But God blessed me with a pain free day till 2 p.m. this afternoon...only 30 minutes left of the conference. I haven't even been able to sit for 10 minutes without pain! I don't know if it is the beginning of true improvement or just God's blessing for me today, but I'll take it for today! He is good and He does what is right and I am going to rejoice in today!

Pat's messages (yes, she is Luis Palau's wife) was on Embracing Contentment. It was so encouraging. Not because I struggle terribly in this area...well...I DO with some issues struggle with contentment. But the biggest blessing was that it confirmed to me that the peace I have felt since Samuel moved out was not "inappropriate" to feel. I have received looks that said to me that I was less than....something...for not feeling all torn up about my half empty/half full nest. How could I possibly not be distraught?! I'm sure part of it is because he is only 5 minutes or so away, we still have a weekly family night and I talk to him just about daily. But I don't think that's really it. As I said in my last post, there is some kind of relief going on here...now I know to change the word "relief" to PEACE or CONTENTMENT. She gave a multitude of definitions for contentment this morning, coming from all angles so we could see the best one for our circumstances. They were all the same really, just worded differently. This definition is the one that jumped out at me.

Contentment is not the denial of my feelings. It is the FREEDOM that comes from not allowing myself to be controlled by them.

This so much describes what I've been feeling lately. Contentment is an attitude of the heart and it really has nothing to do with my circumstances. It is a peaceful heart knowing and trusting God in His sovereignty in my life and the lives of my family. It is trusting in HIS control; not resting in my own attempt at control. She also mentioned how this relates to the area of family. So much of our "happiness" can be caught up in our children: their performance, their attitudes, their walk with the Lord, their this or that. When these issues are less than what we feel is acceptable, we feel as if we have failed. I know I have felt this way. Maybe you haven't. But we must recognize the fact that our children do not "inherit" our relationship with Christ. We may have taught them about them, introduced them to the Savior and even let them to the Lord ourselves. But their actual walk....interaction...or day to day dealings with Him have got to be "fleshed out" apart from us! Each one of them must "wrestle with God"...so to speak...like Jacob did. They have to be challenged by God to depend on Him for what they need. They have to learn to be alone with God to learn that He ALONE is sufficient for them. They may even have to "butt heads" with Him to learn that HE must always come first in their lives. I can tell them that. I can even live that in front of them. But nothing that *I* do will make that REAL for them. Only HE can make that real for them!! When we realize that fact and have PEACE in that fact, we CAN feel contentment. We may still have reasons to grieve over things that they do or choices that they make. I mean, be real! Doesn't God still have reason to grieve over US at times? But we can still FEEL the grief and have an attitude of PEACE/CONTENTMENT at the same time. It's part of letting go, I guess. Being ok with not having control any longer. Knowing that the One IN control is doing everything in His perfect timing and His perfect will. And it is part of that "fleshing out" of their relationship with Him.

Sorry for the length of this post. I just wanted to share while it was flowing out of me. I hope that it encourages some of you as well.

My Nest is Half-empty....

Thu, 3 Apr 2008 19:45:00 -0500

Or should I be positive and say it is half-full? Either way, Samuel has been living on his own for almost 4 weeks now. I am doing fine. Once the initial milestone emotions hit me, I was able to deal with it and move on. I've been learning to keep my mouth shut...well, better than before...and let the Holy Spirit be his Holy Spirit! What a novel idea! In a way, it is a relief because I know my Father's hands are so much more capable. He knows Samuel better than I do and knows just what he needs and when he needs it. It's exciting to watch him grow in the Lord. Here's a few pics of his place. We are praying for God to provide godly roommates who will be an encouragement to Samuel in the Lord as we expect Samuel to be as well. All in His timing.

Blog Challenge - Ten of Life's Simple Pleasures

Thu, 3 Apr 2008 18:42:00 -0500

One of my sweet friends has challenged myself and others to a weekly blog challenge. I for one NEEDED the kick in the butler to get caught up. So here ya go!

1. Spring Breezes

2. Waking to hear the birds sing

3. The smell of homemade bread baking in the oven

4. Goodnight hugs from tall young men

5. Watching Kenny sleep with his IPod playing scripture in Hebrew...osmosis, don't ya know!

6. Peonies peeking out of the ground

7. Quietness

8. Jealous puppies

9. Hearts full of Praise

10. My husband who is as steady as a rock...because he stands on THE Rock.

Growing Pains - Finding the Balance

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:58:00 -0600

I must admit, I'm not doing a very good job of finding that balance. Samuel is 18 and will probably be out of the house soon. He wants his independence badly. I totally understand. In his quest for it though, it feels like he is pulling away. He doesn't need me for things like he used to need me. He doesn't want me to be a helicopter parent and "hover" over him all the time. I'm trying to use wisdom and pull back just the right amount, but I'm not doing a very good job. I got frustrated with him tonight when he asked me to rub his legs...he still has the physical growing pains at times. Instead of being thankful for this time when he DOES need me, I got upset because he doesn't want me involved MORE. I missed a special time. There is so much more I want to say to him. There is so much more I want to share with him. Time is running out. I haven't had LONG enough! He is growing in another direction. He's had enough of my sharing for now. I need to find the balance so that I don't push him away. One day he will realize he still needs me, right?

This really stinks.

Dean

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 07:50:00 -0600

Of all the NERVE! Some dude named "Dean" has put MY Samuel on his LIST at NC State! For cryin' out loud! He must think he's something special, to have his own "list!"

God's Faithfulness

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 07:20:00 -0600

Once again, we are astounded at God's faithfulness and loving kindness to our family. Of course, whatever the outcome had been, He would have STILL been faithful! But He isn't done with Samuel and Andrew yet! But He IS done with Samuel's car!

Samuel and Andrew were driving to NC State to pick up a friend for the Higher Ground meeting around 6:30 p.m. on Friday evening (12-7). Long story short, a older lady decided to turn left from the other direction, in front of them. Thankfully the speed limit was only 45 there and Samuel was still accelerating from just having gotten on that road anyways. Just a bit more speed here or a little more time there and it would have been such a different outcome. No one was hurt seriously, sore necks times two, sore chest from Samuel's airbag, sore back and bruised swollen knee for Andrew. That cracked windshield is NOT from Andrew's head! It's from his airbag that hit the windshield first and THEN popped him in the head! He's 6' 3"....I guess it would have given ME a buzz cut!

More than likely the car is totaled, so we are on the lookout for another used car for Samuel to drive. Hopefully today we will hear from the insurance company and be able to get a rental so he can get himself back and forth to school and work till we find another reliable (and sa-WEET) used car. That means as cool as possible for those of you who are not up on the current slang.

God also showed His faithfulness to me in the way he guarded my heart Friday night. I didn't answer the phone when Samuel called and kids were beginning to arrive for the meeting, so I couldn't leave with Kenny either. That was a GOOD thing. The kids here ministered to me and kept me occupied and seemed to understand when I shared how much my mommy heart wanted to SEE that they were ok, even though I knew they were. I was agitated a bit while waiting for Kenny, but not loosing it by any stretch. I had gotten online right away and had friends all over the globe praying for the boys and the meeting immediately. It was awesome!!

Men in Black

Mon, 3 Dec 2007 18:12:00 -0600

Samuel and Andrew have been wanting a suit since they knew what a suit was! They have been turned down, year after year, by Kenny and I who didn't want to spend over a hundred bucks on something that they would outgrow in a year or less. "When you stop growing, we'll get one." Well, we think (hope) that time has come...the growing part...although with Andrew, the jury is still out since he is only 16. We grabbed up an offer that S&K had and got them both suits last week. They had to be altered and Sunday was the first time they got to wear them. The first thing they wanted to do was have this picture made with their dad. Aren't they the coolest?
Of course, I'm not biased at ALL!!

Thanksgiving/Catch up on my blog Day!

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 21:45:00 -0600

It's 8 p.m. and Thanksgiving Day is almost officially over. Unfortunately, by tomorrow morning, very early for some, the thoughts of Thanksgiving will be gone and Christmas will be the foremost thing in the minds of most people. We usually put up our Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to make myself to that this year. The weather has been so warm in NC this year, and now that we've had some rain in recent weeks, autumn is just now getting into full swing! And I must say, it is a beautiful one. I need to get some pics before it is gone and post them for you to see. I'm sure I won't be the final decision maker on the timing of the decorating around here as I've already been put in my place by everyone in this house about my desire for an artificial tree. Oh well, Claritin and I will make a lovely couple for the next several weeks, I'm sure.

As you can see, I haven't blogged since Samuel's graduation in June. I wish I could truthfully say it took so much out of me that I haven't had time nor energy to post anything else. I'm not good at journaling and therefore blogging, but I'm working on it!! I've thought about making a different post for each month I've missed, but instead I'll just summarize each month in this one post. Maybe I should just jump ahead to the present, but too much has happened to ignore what God has done and is doing in our lives. Hopefully I won't bore you to tears!

June - What an extremely busy month!! One full week of Andrew and Kenny at Mountain Top Youth Camp...Kenny a counselor and Andrew a camper. The following week we had Family Rally Week at church.

The final week of June was a camp for Andrew called CWIS - Christian Worldview Institute for Students. Taken from theculturalcommission.org : "This camp is designed to effectively equip students to distinguish between a healthy and vibrant Christian worldview and other worldviews that dominate the culture in which they will soon be immersed. The ultimate goal of CWIS is to impart knowledge, relate truth and promote aspiration amongst young people to be godly leaders in their generation with a view to doing the good works that God has prepared for them to participate in." There were two tracks, journalism and legislative. Andrew took the journalism track and enjoyed this week immensely. He is really looking forward to class with Mr. Wirtz in the fall.

July - July was quite an interesting month. Early on we had Andrew in to see several doctors as we were concerned over an episode he had after getting hurt playing with Samuel. I was out when he got hurt, they were wrestling and he hit his ankle on a nearby vacuum cleaner. I came in within 15 minutes of it and he was in the floor and Samuel said he has passed out. This isn't the first time that he has gotten hurt, hyperventilated and then lost it for a few moments. But this was different. He was awake, but quite very weak and having a great deal of nausea. It would NOT let up! If he even rolled over, he would get sick because of dizziness. This lasted for quite some time. I called the doctor and took him in near the end of office hours. He was still throwing up at the least movement. The pediatrician gave him a shot of Zophran, a drug for nausea given to chemo patients and it eased off a bit. We were able to take him home and get him in bed. All this as a result of bumping his ankle bone, which, I might add, didn't even have a mark on it!

Long story short, after visits with a cardiologist, neurologist and the pediatrician, it appears he had a vagal/vaso response to the injury (that's the part he has had before, rapid breathing leading to passing out). The difference here is that they think it led to an unusual type of migraine which was the nausea, dizziness,etc. that continued for hours afterwards. We have been given a nasal spray, of all things, so that if it happens again, we can hopefully prevent the migraine incident from occurring. I am so thankful that there was nothing else wrong with him in terms of his heart or seizures.

Samuel had his orientation for NC State near the end of the month. Kenny went with him although Samuel had to spend the night on campus. The whole experience was quite "eye-opening," in more ways than one! Women just don't seem to have much respect for themselves in terms of how they dress anymore and it's so sad. Not only for them, but for the stumbling block they create for young men all around them. 'Nuff said.

August - In August I went to the doctor in hopes of finding a reason for some pain in my left ear that had been bothering me for weeks. I really thought it was related to my sinuses, but with much checking, it appears that it is a form of TMJ. Compared to some I have spoken with, I think it is quite mild, although it isn't too fun when it hurts. Thankfully, I was able to get some massages from my chiropractor that help tremendously if I do them when the pain first starts. I am thankful for that.

Andrew also was having a ton of problems with his neck. We had been to the chiropractor and we getting little in the way of results. So I also took him to a orthopedic doctor who sent him to physical therapy for 4 weeks. The problem was not related to anything in the spine, but only the muscles. Specifically, his neck was not strong enough. His head is not the smallest thing in the world and he has grown as such a rapid rate in recent years, it was just out of proportion. Things that he loved to do the most - reading, computer work and playing the piano- caused him a great deal of pain. Things began to improve slowly as his muscle strengthened. He is still needing to do these on a regular basis to build the muscle mass he needs in his neck and shoulders. Thankfully, he doesn't dread playing the piano now. That was hard to see when I know he loved it so much. He mentioned to me at one point that it was taking away the "joy." Praise God for a simple, although time consuming solution.

September - Samuel had been having classes at NC State for a couple weeks already. The Lord had been working in the hearts of Kenny and I about the struggles ahead of him and other college students trying to live a godly life on a college campus. We began in September a ministry for Christian college students, Higher Ground, to encourage them to live up to that higher standard that God was calling them to in life, especially while on campus. Our website is www.nchigherground.com if you want to check it out. We have a meeting monthly where we study God's Word and discuss the issues they are encountering on a daily basis. They are so much fun to be around and I am continually challenged by the knowledge and convictions of so many of these young adults.

October - Both boys were extremely busy in October as they prepared for the NC Youth Rally that would be held at our church near the end of the month. Andrew and another young man at church were in charge of the music selections for the praise and worship time. This was a new venture for Andrew, being in a leadership capacity, but it was a challenge he met with much determination. It was a stretching experience for him in many ways, but I can see much growth that came of it. Samuel was also very involved as he helped to lead the young people in the singing while Andrew was at the piano. The youth group at Faith Bible Fellowship, as well as MANY adults, worked so hard to get this rally done to the honor and glory of the Lord. It was a great success and all the glory goes to Him.

I was also able to spend a week with my dear friend Julie in West Virgina following the Youth Rally, leaving ALL my men at home to fend for themselves. Things were JUST as I left them when I returned home...and I mean LITERALLY....right down to the dishpan of dirty dishwater I left in the sink. Um...gross...that's all I can say.

Oh yeah, Samuel turned 18....I guess that was a big deal.

November - Well, I've caught up to the right month!!! Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day (uh...it took me two days to finish this post!) and just as I thought, I'm seeing and hearing Christmas all around me. I'm thinking we will wait another week before we dive in as well. It would be nice if more leaves fell OFF the trees before we decorated, don't ya think?

This is the Lord's Doing; It is Marvellous In Our Eyes

Tue, 5 Jun 2007 08:52:00 -0500

Psalm 118:23 speaks much of how we felt, as we went through Samuel's graduation ceremony, June 2, 2007. I asked Samuel to share things from his perspective. I will follow up after that.

"Graduation day was very busy. Much cleaning was still to be done along with two SAT Subjects tests that morning. It was sort of fitting that I would finish off the 12th grade with these tests on the same day I was graduating...but it was extremely annoying. When I got home from the tests, I focused alot on cleaning and some other stuff, but tried to throw in breaks every which way so I wouldn't have to work all day.

Then the time finally arrived and the first guests came, the Johnsons, who arrived a hour early because Mrs. Johnson was catering the event for Mom....along with the pig and the chickens that had been cooking outside already, most of the day. We put the final touches on the tent and the other guests began to arrive. I did not mingle as much as I should have, staying with a few people and the dogs, but the rest intermingled with each other. This is because I felt embarrassed because I was the center of attention. It felt sorta weird to be the REASON all these people were here. I began to feel more comfortable as the day went on, especially as we were about to eat. I ate with a little group of my friends inside, while most ate outside. I then went outside to talk and mingle until the time came for the "ceremony" to start.

The graduation ceremony was obviously the center of the day. Dad got up and said a few brief things and gave me a challenge, followed by three other men from our church who also challenged me. The challenges were very good but again, it felt weird that these people were talking to me, with me sitting in front of the crowd. Then dad presented me with my diploma and I said a few brief words, thanking those who had prayed for me, my family and above all, the Lord. Finally, my mom had made a power point presentation of pics from my infancy through my teenage years. It was all very informal, but I enjoyed it very much. It was perfect and I wouldn't have had it any other way."

I have to say that Samuel was VERY appreciative of all that went into his day. It's funny, well...now it is, because we were really at odds with each other earlier in the day. It was one of those times when you wonder why you are doing all this, but then you remember that these things just happen and we were both very tense about the evening. I am a Martha at heart, hurrying around being so busy to make everything right and getting snappy with those I love along the way. Things drastically improved later that afternoon and we were ready to go into the event with peace and calm....well, with each other. I wasn't calm when it came to preparations because I needed every spare moment God gave me. I even left a couple things undone! Can you believe THAT? And I survived!

Graduation day began bright and early with the arrival of two grills and a pig, all dressed and ready to be slow cooked by a pro. My daddy had called a distant relative, Bobby Ragland, and asked him about borrowing his cookers, since I had asked Daddy to be in charge of cooking the pig/chickens. Bobby was so nice, he offered to do it FOR Daddy! He and his son, Troy, were a blessing to us that day and the meat was wonderful.

The tent had been set up the day before and it was the perfect size. I had ordered a 20 x 30 tent, which I thought was what I was getting. When the tent guys were ready to leave on Thursday, I went outside and was very surprised…they had run out of the size I ordered and we received a 20 x 40 for the same price! It was the perfect size to fit on the pad as you will see in this pic. I thank the Lord for that special gift because it really was a blessing to have the extra space…it was needed.

I was frazzled SO much of the day, trying to finish cleaning and getting things done. I am such a Martha at heart and seems like I am forever trying to change that. I honestly don’t know HOW to change though…it is IN me to get uptight and frazzled! I do see really small changes, like me not getting bent out of shape when I couldn’t find the confetti I had purchased to decorate the tables. I was disappointed, but I said, “Hey, it is just confetti!” I think it got trashed with REAL trash and I was able to say, AND feel, “oh well.”

Samuel and I were quite at odds with each other most of the day, before guests arrived. My “panic mode,” as he calls it, was stressing him out. I sometimes don’t understand why everyone doesn’t GET IT, but I guess if everyone was in a panic like me, it would be a disaster! BTW, it didn’t last into the evening. We were able to talk it out and get on the same page.

My friend, Elise Johnson, who I have only known for a couple months, was our caterer. I didn’t even KNOW she did catering until 2 weeks before, when I was fretting the fact that I had waited so long to get someone. I knew I could NEVER cook for 50 people without driving everyone else nuts. I was at her house two weeks before and she was mentioning to someone on the phone that she did catering. I was so shocked, but immediately could see God’s hand at work!!! It was a blessing to both of us-we got great food and she got her name out there with this being her first job in Raleigh. If you need a caterer, call me and I’ll hook ya up! This pic shows the spread, although it is hard to see. The side dishes included: baked beans, homemade three grain rolls, corn bread, coleslaw, tortelinni pasta salad, potato salad, twice baked potato casserole, fresh fruit, green beans and marinaded carrots.

Jessica Roberts and her family were next to arrive with the absolutely beautiful cake I had asked her to make. Only problem was….I asked for it to feed 50 people…I think it could have fed 5 thousand! It was huge! But delicious and unique. He loved it! And so did everyone else. The Roberts go to our church and she has done many lovely cakes for us over the years. I know just who to call!!

Other guests began arriving at 4:30 and at 5 p.m. we were ready to eat. Here are some pics, some of which will have explanation, some not. People were invited to eat outside or inside. I was surprised so few went inside, but that is how it worked out. It was a beautiful day, the high being only 80 degrees, which is perfect here. There was plenty of food….can you say WAY more
than we needed. Better too much than not enough, right? And we were able to share a great deal of it with some after the night was finished, so I felt good about that.

We began the “ceremony” at 6 p.m. I had very few still shots of this, but I was so excited to receive the DVD’s from Louis Roberts, Jessica’s husband, who did the video for us. He put it in chapters and I will be able to link you to each of them for you to see. I won’t go into detail about the content because each clip is just a few minutes and you can see it yourself. The video begins with Kenny opening and giving a short devotion/challenge, followed by Mark Swicegood, Tony Prince and finally Allan Swicegood, all from our church. Most of is it serious, but some....not so much.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

After the challenges, Kenny presented Samuel with his diploma, and Samuel then gave his "speech." We were all very touched by his words, especially since he had told me he was going to "wing it."

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We concluded the ceremony with a power point presentation that I made for Samuel. My biggest disappointment with the presentation is that I cannot show it to YOU with the music that I included. It is copyrighted so I will link you to the song on the internet so you can hear it. It was a sweet song that I heard a year ago and decided right then that I would use it for his graduation. It is called Find Your Wings by Mark Harris, formerly of 4Him. If you click on the music link just prior to clicking on the video link, you will be able to see it as it was meant to be.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Finally, after everyone wiped their tears away, (no, I didn't cry. I had already taken care of that earlier in the day), we brought that beautiful cake outside and cut it up. It was wonderful!

I know this has been an extremely long entry, but I didn't know how else to share this day with you. I hope you enjoyed it.